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Personal Connection: How One Question Transformed an Advanced Excel and Generative AI Presentation

I have joined an initiative with Katy Dalgleish, Julie Rains, and my wife, Terri. We meet virtually once or twice weekly to discuss Seth’s lessons in “This is Strategy.”

While we quickly cover a lot of ground, and Seth’s messages deserve greater focus and discussion, I enjoy the process from the perspective that “we never know where thoughts/ideas will collide,” and a practical use application will surface.

During a drive to Ocean City, MD, for the Maryland Government Finance Officers Association (MDGFOA) conference, I was contemplating Seth’s video five, which highlighted “16 questions to begin” as we approach the work of strategy.

While Don and I find our personal development work very compelling, convincing others of the value of committing their time to investing in themselves is a huge obstacle. As Seth notes in video five, “They don’t know what you know. They don’t want what you want.” These two sentences sat with me while we were driving and talking about the presentation Don would share over three and one-half hours starting at 1:00 PM.

How could we modify the presentation to turn the attention of the attendees and emphasize our mission is to enhance their professional performance and ability to contribute exponentially?

June 26, 2024 | Don and Bill Tomoff at Maryland Government Finance Officers Association Conference

Within the 16 questions, the following five reminded me that answers to these questions might help inspire the attendees to dedicate themselves to embracing personal growth. With each question, I have added brief thoughts on how our work impacts those on the receiving side:

Am I changing someone’s status quo?

Learning and development do change someone’s status quo. Embracing the initiative of personal growth is a commitment and a change that many find difficult. It often involves discomfort and requires time prioritization involving tradeoffs we would rather not deal with. The easy answer is to avoid changing anything in our daily lives that is already working for us.

Why would anyone voluntarily choose to be part of this work?

If you ask anyone, “Would you like to improve your critical thinking, skill set, and ability to contribute more significantly?” Most people would respond with a resounding “YES!” Choosing this more challenging yet rewarding path of personal development will change your life as the daily effort compounds over time, and the gratifying reward of growth becomes a part of your daily life.

What will they tell their colleagues?

Don and I think the magic can begin when word of mouth spreads to colleagues. As we learn and experience the rewards of learning, helping others must become an individual practice. Avid learners love to help others by sharing their expertise. And when we teach, we learn more.

Who gains in status, affiliation and power by supporting this work?

When personal development is embraced, the enhanced talents are noticed in the long run. By their example, learners inspire others to learn and can be recognized for their contributing abilities. The learner reaches levels of performance that are noticed by others. As learners are noticed, their status, affiliation, and power will grow.

Will early support translate into more support later?

Early support and the possible success that others achieve can elevate word-of-mouth and create a snowball of support as even more learn about successes achieved because of an individual decision to invest in themselves. Witnessing the growth of others and the successes they reach is very gratifying for Don and me. 

We hoped to change the “vibe” of the presentation, so we started with a heartfelt question. This start was as if we were sitting down and sharing a sincere conversation, saying, “We are on your side, and we want to help you.”

“Before we get started, I would like everyone to take a minute and reflect on the following: “What are two or three of the most important things in your life? Not only professionally, but overall.”

Posing this question and the ensuing brief conversation about “What is important to YOU?” made the audience more curious and receptive.

The responses we have received were in line with our thoughts and included the following:

  • Family
  • Focusing on self-care
  • Enjoying hobbies
  • Making a difference
  • Feeling a greater purpose

“Our goal today? We want to help you reclaim your time to enable you to prioritize more time for the most important aspects of your life.”

Then, towards the end of the day, to wrap the session, Don reiterated:

“Remember, the overall theme of what we are doing today: We want to help you reclaim your time for the most important things in your life.”

The session and the audience engagement were inspiring. Had our last-minute modification to starting the presentation made a difference for the entire day? We believe so and plan to continue using and refining this change in future presentations!

During our debrief of the presentation, Don and I agreed that starting with the personal question, “What is most important to you?” changed the tone of the entire day. The attendees’ engagement during the session and one-on-one discussions afterward led us to conclude that we must build this momentum into the future!

To help evaluate and evolve the approach in the future, I collaborated with ChatGPT to assess our thoughts and then asked for suggestions for improvement. The response from ChatGPT has spurred our creativity. The prompt and response are provided below.

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Collaboration with ChatGPT

Prompt:

My twin Don and I are working on modifying the kickoff to our discussions about technology and gen AI adoption (e.g., ChatGPT) when making presentations. Focusing on the audience and asking them to consider what is most important in their lives is a way to increase interest and curiosity and ultimately encourage the adoption of our suggestions.

Please read the revision below and let us know your thoughts. You are an expert presenter who can inspire others to take action. Please take a deep breath and carefully think before you respond. This change is significant, and we want it to have the maximum effect on the success of our efforts.

“Before we get started, I would like everyone to take one minute and reflect on the following: “What are two or three of the most important things in your life? Not only professionally, but overall.”

Started the session with this question. Posing this question and the brief conversation about “What is important to YOU?” made the audience more curious and receptive.

Responses included:

  • Family
  • self-care
  • hobbies
  • greater purpose

“Our goal today? We want to help you reclaim your time to enable you to prioritize more time for the most important aspects in your life.”

to wrap the session:

“Remember, the overall theme of what we are doing today: We want to help you reclaim your time for the most important things in your life.”

Response:

Your revised approach for the kickoff of your technology and AI adoption discussions is well-crafted and focuses on what truly matters to the audience. Here’s a refined version to enhance clarity, engagement, and the impact of your presentation:

Opening:

“Before we get started, I’d like everyone to take a moment and reflect on this question: ‘What are the two or three most important things in your life, not just professionally, but overall?'”

Pause for reflection.

“Take a minute to think about it. What truly matters to you? Responses included:

  • Family
  • Self-care
  • Hobbies
  • Greater purpose

Starting our session with this question often makes everyone more curious and receptive.”

Transition:

“Our goal today is to help you reclaim time to prioritize what’s most important in your life.”

Wrap-up:

“Remember, the overall theme of what we are doing today is to help you reclaim your time for the most important things in your life.”

Thoughts and Suggestions:

1. Engagement: Starting with a reflective question is a great way to engage the audience and make the session personal. This strategy fosters a connection between the technology you’re discussing and the audience’s personal lives, making your message more relatable and compelling.

2. Clarity: By clearly listing typical responses, you guide the audience in their reflection and make it easier for them to relate.

3. Consistency: Repeating the theme of reclaiming time throughout your presentation reinforces your message and keeps the audience focused on the ultimate benefit of adopting the technology.

4. Empathy: Your approach shows empathy and understanding of the audience’s needs and values, which can increase their openness to your suggestions.

This refined structure ensures your presentation is engaging, clear, and impactful, helping you achieve your goal of fostering curiosity and adoption of your recommendations.

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The Diagnosis That Taught Our Family Everything: Childhood Cancer’s Lessons for Life and Love

“Your child has cancer.” My wife, Terri, and I heard these words on October 17, 1996. Our son, Ryan, at two years and two months old, was diagnosed with childhood cancer (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia). In an instant, our lives, and the lives of Ryan and our four-year-old daughter Olivia, were changed forever.

As I write this in June 2024, 27+ years later, Ryan is [closely monitored and] doing well today. He is a five-time cancer survivor – 3x childhood leukemia and 2x adult tongue cancer (secondary malignancies resulting from the extensive treatments he received through his wars with leukemia). In March 2021, Terri published her memoir The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey from Mayhem to Miracles, detailing Ryan and our family’s journey through what often felt like impossible times.

Our heart breaks every time we hear of a family receiving the news that their child has cancer. A child and family stricken with cancer through no fault of their own. I pray no one reading this is facing a childhood cancer situation, yet we know bad things happen, and our lifelong mission is to be a gentle shoulder of support for others impacted as we have been. Maybe this helps one person, one family, piece together the swirling insanity that is happening in the center of their lives.

With this introduction, I will offer my list of “Life lessons learned from dealing with a childhood cancer diagnosis:“

October 1996 – Ryan and Bill Tomoff – Georgetown Hospital

Life is not fair.

  • If we are blessed to live long enough, realizing the randomness and unfairness of life events will strike us. There is tragedy and heartbreak happening all around us.

“Life breaks all of us, but some of us get stronger in the broken places.”—Ernest Hemingway.

Work is important. Family is EVERYTHING. Carpe Diem.

  • Treasure each day. Life contentment is in the small, everyday, ordinary moments. Recognize and embrace the “ordinary.”
  • Small things are not small things.

Keep your eye on the ball. Thank you, Abe Pollin.

  • Be determined and unapologetic in identifying and setting boundaries around your priorities. Learning to kindly yet firmly say “no” is imperative.

People need people.

  • You are not alone.
  • Thinking “I/we can handle this” is dangerous and not helpful. Seek, be open to, and be willing to ask for help. People want to help – accept their generosity and commit to “paying it forward” into the world one day.
  • The Postcard Project was a wonderful initiative that gave Ryan hope and inspiration as he endured treatments to get him to his life-saving bone marrow transplant on November 4, 2004.
  • Embrace communities of support. Special Love is our community of support that brings joy through their summer camps dedicated to children fighting cancer and their siblings.

Erica Neubert Campbell shared a quote included in The Focused Fight:

“In a tough situation, few people wake up every morning and say, “I’m going to be resilient today.” Most people under extreme stress wake up with heavy hearts but with a quiet voice that tells them never to give up. Resilience is listening to that small inner voice and finding people and organizations to help you slowly turn up the volume.”

September 1997 – Tomoff Family – Special Love Under 7 Weekend

Your environment matters.

  • Surround yourself with the best. Lift others up, and they will lift you up.

Self-care is imperative.

  • Self-care is not selfish. We cannot pour from an empty cup.

Kindness matters. Prioritize kindness to yourself and others.

  • Sometimes we cannot see a path forward, and are hanging on doing our best. Everyone, in some way, has these moments. “The next step,” a moment of kindness given or received, may propel you or someone else forward for the day.
  • Express appreciation and gratitude. Never default to “this person is just doing their job.” Everyone deserves to be seen.

“Don’t underestimate the power of a chocolate chip cookie.”—Terri Tomoff.

April 2022 – Terri Tomoff and Chocolate Chip Cookies

Don’t ask. Do.

  • Choose to take the initiative.
  • There are many moments in life where we can help meaningfully. In small ways and without permission, a difference can be made.

Everyone has unique gifts. Identify and nurture those gifts.

  • Ryan’s relentless fight and inspiration to the world.
  • Olivia and the gift of soccer to our family.

Trust and know that everyone has a story.

  • “Be gentle. Be kind – you have no idea what someone is going through.”—Bill Tomoff.

Post Traumatic Growth is possible.

We all endure suffering in our lives. David Brooks, in his book The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life, provides a compelling perspective on the meaning of suffering:

“Whether the valley is a personal one or a societal one or both, there’s a lot of suffering. You’re enduring a season of pain, a season of feeling lost. This can be a period of soul-crushing anguish, but it can also be one of the most precious seasons of your life.

John Keats said that we live in a mansion of many apartments. When we’re on the first mountain, we’re living in what Keats called the “thoughtless chamber.” This is the default chamber; we just unthinkingly absorb the values and ways of life that happen to be around us.

We want to stay in this chamber. It’s comfortable, and everybody nods at you with approval. In The Age of Anxiety, W. H. Auden wrote,

We would rather be ruined than changed

We would rather die in our dread

Than climb the cross of the moment

And let our illusions die.

Seasons of suffering kick us in the ass. They are the foghorns that blast us out of our complacency and warn us we are heading for the wrong life.

There’s nothing intrinsically noble about suffering. Sometimes grief is just grief, to be gotten through. Many bad things happen in life, and it’s a mistake to try to sentimentalize these moments away by saying that they must be happening to serve some higher good. But sometimes, when suffering can be connected to a larger narrative of change and redemption, we can suffer our way to wisdom. This is the kind of wisdom you can’t learn from books; you have to experience it yourself. Sometimes you experience your first taste of nobility in the way you respond to suffering.

The theologian Paul Tillich wrote that suffering upsets the normal patterns of life and reminds you that you are not who you thought you were. It smashes through the floor of what you thought was the basement of your soul and reveals a cavity below, and then it smashes through that floor and reveals a cavity below that.

Suffering teaches us gratitude. Normally we take love and friendship for granted. But in seasons of suffering we throw ourselves on others and appreciate the gifts that our loved ones offer. Suffering puts you in solidarity with others who suffer. It makes you more sympathetic to those who share this or some other sort of pain. In this way it tenderizes the heart.

Suffering calls for a response. None of us can avoid suffering, but we can all choose how we respond to it. And, interestingly, few people respond to suffering by seeking pleasure. Nobody says, I lost my child, therefore I should go out and party. They say, I lost my child, and therefore I am equipped to help others who have lost their child. People realize that shallow food won’t satisfy the deep hunger and fill the deep emptiness that suffering reveals. Only spiritual food will do that. Many people respond to pain by practicing generosity.

Finally, suffering shatters the illusion of self-sufficiency, which is an illusion that has to be shattered if any interdependent life is going to begin. Seasons of pain expose the falseness and vanity of most of our ambitions and illuminate the larger reality of living and dying, caring and being cared for. Pain helps us see the true size of our egotistical desires. Before they seemed gigantic and dominated the whole screen. After seasons of suffering, we see that the desires of the ego are very small desires, and certainly not the ones we should organize our lives around. Climbing out of the valley is not like recovering from a disease. Many people don’t come out healed; they come out different. The poet Ted Hughes observed that the things that are the worst to undergo are often the best to remember, because at those low moments the protective shells are taken off, humility is achieved, a problem is clearly presented, and a call to service is clearly received.”

I hope that my perspective provides you an inspiration to move through whatever challenge you are dealing with or enduring. Take this journey of life one day at a time. Do your best. Be kind to yourself and others. Embrace and treasure the ordinary. Believe in better days. We got this.

2004 – Bill and Ryan Tomoff – Bald heads before Duke PBMT trip
June 2024 – Kelleys Island 5K – Ryan walks with Aunt Stephanie

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Time Wealth: Prioritizing Mental Bandwidth in the Knowledge Economy

Throughout my career and then in life challenges (son Ryan battles with childhood cancer and beyond), I learned to deeply understand my time and how I prioritized everything in my life as the most important variables within my control. Time is a nonrenewable asset, and I quickly understood that I had to own my decisions of where I choose to prioritize my energy.

Thanks to years-long encouragement from my wife, Terri, I made a [wise] decision to read more actively to help my learning and growth. Since 2012, reading for personal development has become a non-negotiable priority. The mission is to allocate my efforts to make a more meaningful contribution to the world daily. This starts with owning my decisions of where I focus my mental bandwidth.

Where I focus, these three words are front and center for me. Since I started reading the philosophy of Stoicism in 2019, and have read daily since January 1, 2020. As I noted in a March 2023 blog post, “In Pursuit of Inner Peace: My Stoic Transformation:”

“The Stoicism philosophy profoundly influences my perspective and “how” I handle myself and my emotions daily. Striving every day to develop my mind and embrace the only aspect of life we all control – our reasoned choice. Thoughts such as “it is not necessary to have an opinion, we should be strict with ourselves and forgiving of others (no judgment), and we control our response to any external event – we are harmed only if we believe we are harmed,” are thoughts I hold close to my heart and work to live in practice.”

Embracing my reasoned choice. My remaining life’s work will be to strive to use my mind for good – developing myself and helping others by utilizing my skills and talents. I can and must do better. The work must not stop.

A blog post by Morgan Housel, “Lazy Work, Good Work,” inspired my post here. When we can keep our mind disciplined to focus on learning and good, we can prioritize time for reflection and creativity.  Here is a sample of topics on my “do not do” list – activities I strive to eliminate or actively reduce by being aware of my behavior:

  • Gossip.
  • Expressing an unsolicited opinion.
  • Judgment.
  • Watching or engaging in conversation about mainstream news.
  • Involving myself in other people’s business.

The work regarding my do-not-do list is a never-ending process. I credit my reading of the Stoicism philosophy for helping me.

By reducing the above activities, I will replace my time (and mind) with:

  • Quality time with my family, friends, and communities of practice who inspire and lift me up.
  • Kindness to others and my world.
  • Encouraging others.
  • Helping others through micro-moves taking almost no effort. Social media engagement is an easy micro-move example.
  • Investing in improving myself (as the Optimist Creed states: “To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.”).
  • Be more patient and calm. We all are doing our best to get through each day.

A key component of “investing in improving myself” is prioritizing building buffer/slack into my days and intentionally moving more slowly and thoughtfully through each day. Make space for time for reading and contemplation. Morgan Housel notes in his article [Bold emphasis is mine]:

“Here’s a problem we don’t think about enough: Even as more professions look like Rockefeller’s – thought jobs that require quiet time to think a problem through – we’re stuck in the old world where a good employee is expected to labor, visibly and without interruption.

The point is that productive work today does not look like productive work did for most of history. If your job was to pull a lever, you were only productive if you were pulling the lever. But if your job is to create a marketing campaign, you might be productive sitting quietly with your eyes closed, thinking about design. The problem is that too many workplaces expect their knowledge workers to pull the proverbial lever – today in Microsoft Office form – 40+ hours a week when they’d be better off doing things that look lazy but are actually productive. The result is that most people have thought jobs without being given much time to think, which is the equivalent of making a ditch-digger work without a shovel. Maybe this is why productivity growth is half of what it used to be.

If you anchor to the old world where good work meant physical action, it’s hard to wrap your head around the idea that the most productive use of a knowledge-worker’s time could be sitting on a couch thinking. But it’s so clear that it is. Good ideas rarely come in meetings, or even at your desk. They come to you in the shower. On a walk. On your commute, or hanging out on the weekend. I’m always amazed at the number of famous ideas that came to people in the bathtub. But tell your boss you require a mid-day soak, and the response is entirely predictable.”

Starting with yourself, embrace a gentler and kinder presence with the world. Slowing down and being more mindful as you move through your day will be rewarding and gratifying. While you may appear “lazy” and unproductive, the reality will be enhanced productivity through leveraging greater creativity and adaptability.

2019 – Bill T and Bill G encouraging “Good!”
France! Learning in Community with Karena de Souza
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Embrace Boring: Consistency and Unnoticed Discipline are the Keys to Compounding Growth

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

What is truly important to me is putting in the daily effort to refine my talents and develop my skills. The key to superior performance is quiet, steady dedication practiced for the long term when no one is watching.

I’ve learned many valuable life lessons through competitive sports participation. I credit competitive distance running with developing my willingness and ability to take the long view. My twin brother Don and I are obsessed with personal development and continual learning. We’ve pushed each other to invest time and money into our growth.

When my son Ryan was diagnosed with childhood cancer in 1996, my ability to tenaciously focus on core priorities was tested beyond imagination. My wife Terri’s memoir tells our family’s story of this challenging journey.

Over the years, I’ve pursued initiatives that exemplify my commitment to consistent effort and self-improvement. These include a daily planking streak with Don that has lasted 2,277 days so far, cofounding our #TwinzTalk initiative to share personal development tips, and dedicating myself to writing during the pandemic, completing four unpublished memoirs since June 2020.

I believe that to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world. Dedicate yourself to improving and helping others through small, consistent efforts practiced long-term. Find a tribe to encourage and inspire you on the journey. With commitment and belief, the compounding impact of your focused dedication will amaze you. 

What matters most to you? Whatever it is, pursue it relentlessly, for that is the path to growth and fulfillment.

Full Original Writing

What is important to you? Is it important enough that you are willing to work on refining your talents and developing your skills every day? Every day, in incremental effort, where progress is not felt or noticed? Yet, the key to superior performance is the daily dedication performed quietly for the long term, done in the quiet of your life when no one is watching.

The best hack is to realize that there are no shortcuts to success and commit yourself to the steady drip, drip, drip effort to enable you to reach your best level of preparation. The process is a life-long adventure.

I believe that competitive sports participation teaches many lessons that carry forward into the game of life. I wrote about this in my April 2024 blog post titled “From Setback to Comeback: My High School Running Adversity to Overcoming and Growing for Life.”

The following Daily Stoic and Seth Godin blog posts resonated with me, and I hope you find them inspiring as well.

The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman meditation for June 8, “Brick by Boring Brick.”

“You must build up your life action by action and be content if each one achieves its goal as far as possible—and no one can keep you from this.”

–Marcus Aurelius

“If you follow The Process in your life—assembling the right actions in the right order, one right after another—you too will do well. Not only that, you will be better equipped to make quick work of the obstacles along that path.”

Seth Godin’s June 16, 2018, blog post, “The danger of not good enough,” reminds us that it is a trap to dismiss others or ourselves as “not good enough.” The more accurate sentiment should be “not good enough yet.” Seth’s closing sentence is a thought we should hold onto:

“It’s true that you’re not good enough yet. None of us are. But if you commit to trying hard enough and long enough, you’ll get better.”

If you commit to trying hard enough and long enough, you’ll get better. If you are committed to the deliberate and steady process of investing in yourself, you will progress.

“Today, I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow, I can do what others can’t.”

–Jerry Rice

“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”

–Tim Notke

With a willingness to work hard (and smarter), you WILL exceed many more talented peers. You control your willingness to prepare. In matters of importance to you, be relentless in your dedication and daily focus.

The greatest attribute I have been blessed with and embraced throughout my adult life is a willingness to put forth consistent effort that is matched by few. My twin Don and I share this attribute and have pushed each other throughout our lives. Above, I mentioned competitive distance running as a prime contributor to developing my willingness and ability to take the long view throughout my life. Examples of deliberate focus and effort, as a lifestyle of investing in myself, include:

  • After graduating from college in 1981, I inherently knew that continual learning and development were imperative to my career and life success. Don and I have shared an obsession with personal development. We believe in investing personal time and money into learning. When portable computers were first available, I remember spending weekend nights in the office (Coopers & Lybrand public accounting in the early 1980s) tinkering around with VisiCalc spreadsheet software. This moment started a love of technology that Don and I have shared and leveraged throughout our lives. In our early to mid-twenties, we were alone in the office on a Saturday night while many of our peers indulged in more ordinary entertainment choices. With our dedication to competitive distance running (a serious endeavor until age 25) and professional personal development, we were comfortable on the less traveled road!
  • My dedication and preparation to find a better way to work became a career and life survival imperative when my son Ryan was diagnosed with childhood cancer on October 17, 1996, at the age of two years and two months. My ability to tenaciously focus on my core priorities was tested beyond anything I could have imagined. Terri Tomoff’s memoir The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, published in March 2021, tells Ryan and our family’s story.
July 2021 – The Focused Fight – Cleveland Reception
  • On March 25, 2018, Don and I started a 30-day planking challenge. What started as a unique challenge to help our physical conditioning has become a part of our lifestyle. As of June 18, 2024, we have done a daily plank for 2,277 days. On March 26, 2023, I wrote a blog post celebrating five years of continuous planking!
April 2018 – NYC Central Park Planking
  • On April 16, 2018, Don and I cofounded our #TwinzTalk initiative, where we share personal development encouragement and tips to help others in our network. Tip One was dedicated to highlighting our amazing friend, Rich Flanagan. Since then, we have shared almost 1,300 tips on LinkedIn, and we receive great joy and fulfillment from sharing our knowledge and expertise to help others.
  • On June 8, 2020, a few months after the COVID-19 Pandemic started spreading across the United States, Terri and I joined an online writing initiative called Writing in Community. While Terri dedicated her time to completing her memoir, The Focused Fight, I pursued writing my unpublished personal memoir, “Living Life…Off The Track.” I have now written four unpublished memoirs. Four years later, we consider ourselves writers and have met many inspiring, kind, and generous people who share the love of writing and being in a community of practice. On the other side of the pandemic, we believe our lives have been profoundly enhanced through our writing efforts and community relationships!
2024-03-13 – Bill Tomoff with Four Memoirs Written

“If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world.”

–Elaine S. Dalton

What is important to you? Dedicate daily effort to improving yourself and then helping others. You will be amazed at the compounding impact of small efforts consistently performed over the long term. Find your tribe that will inspire and encourage you. You got this. Believe. 

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Unlocking the Secret to Contentment: The Foundational Role of Gratitude

Summary – Collaboration with ChatGPT

While reflecting and working on this post, I decided to collaborate with ChatGPT and ask for input on my assessment of the extreme potential that gratitude can bring to our lives. My prompt and [edited] response received were as follows:

Prompt:

I am writing a blog post about gratitude. The opening sentence is, “A lens of gratitude changes everything.”

I believe having a gratitude mindset is the foundational base for living a life of contentment and happiness. If we are grateful, we live life with a “gentler” outlook on life, and thus, we lean toward kindness to ourselves and interactions with others. This creates a rippling cycle of positivity that can change our life experience.

You are an expert psychologist. Would you agree with my assessment?

Response:

Bill T note: ChatGPT agreed with my assessment, and I asked for further insight and suggestions. The edited result is below.

A lens of gratitude changes everything.

I believe having a gratitude mindset is the foundational base for living a life of contentment and happiness. If we are grateful, we live life with a “gentler” outlook on life, and thus, we lean toward kindness to ourselves and interactions with others. This creates a rippling cycle of positivity that can change our life experience.

The Science of Gratitude

Research in positive psychology has consistently shown that practicing gratitude can significantly enhance well-being and satisfaction with life. Grateful individuals often experience positive emotions, relish good experiences, and enjoy better health and relationships. Gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have, fostering a sense of abundance and reducing stress and anxiety.

A Gentler Outlook

Gratitude encourages a gentler outlook by promoting self-compassion and acceptance. When we acknowledge and appreciate the good in our lives, we become more forgiving and understanding of our own imperfections and those of others. This gentleness nurtures our mental health and creates a foundation for lasting happiness.

Kindness and Positivity

Gratitude also inspires kindness. When we feel grateful, we are more likely to engage in prosocial behaviors, such as helping others and expressing appreciation. These acts of kindness benefit those around us and enhance our sense of joy and fulfillment. This creates a positive feedback loop: gratitude leads to kindness and reinforces gratitude, amplifying the benefits for everyone involved.

The Ripple Effect

The impact of gratitude extends beyond individual experiences. Positive emotions and behaviors can spread through our social networks, influencing friends, family, and strangers. This ripple effect creates an environment of collective well-being where gratitude can inspire widespread positivity and connection.

Practical Ways to Cultivate Gratitude

  1. Daily Reflection: Take a few moments each day to reflect on what you are grateful for. This can be done through journaling or simply pausing to appreciate the good things in your life.
  2. Express Appreciation: Make it a habit to express gratitude to others. A simple thank you, or a heartfelt note can go a long way in strengthening relationships and spreading positivity.
  3. Mindfulness Practice: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. Mindfulness helps us stay present and aware, making it easier to notice and appreciate the small joys in life.
  4. Gratitude Rituals: Establish rituals that remind you to practice gratitude. This could be a gratitude jar where you write down things you’re thankful for or a gratitude walk where you focus on the beauty around you.

Encouragement

Embracing gratitude is a powerful choice that can transform your life. By fostering a mindset of appreciation, you cultivate a deeper sense of contentment and happiness. Remember, the journey of gratitude is ongoing, and every small step you take contributes to a more positive and fulfilling life. Start today, and watch as gratitude changes everything.

Full Original Writing

A lens of gratitude changes everything.

An aspect of my daily journaling includes prioritizing five minutes to reflect on my day and handwrite on an index card [at least] one comment in each of these areas:

  1. Win
  2. Gratitude
  3. Stress/Tension
  4. Help Others/Shine the Light
  5. Activity/Development

The process has helped me be more intentional and aware of how I conduct myself throughout the day. Here, I will reference five articles that have inspired me to encourage more gratitude.

In each article, thoughts resonated that remind me to strive to be gentler with myself and others and grateful for the gifts in my life. Throughout our days, we have many opportunities to “flip the perspective” and be grateful vs. frustrated or inconvenienced. Here are a few examples that we all can relate to:

  1. Moving along slowly in traffic other drivers take shortcuts and merge into the line you are waiting in. Remind yourself, “I am safely moving toward my destination and am helping others by allowing cars to merge into the line. I am grateful for a dependable car and the opportunity to help others, and I am confident others would give me the same kindness.“
  2. Waiting in a long line at the grocery store. Reflect, “I am grateful that my family has the resources to purchase the food we need and the systems in place that make it possible for us to have the incredible convenience of a grocery store where we have access to an abundance of food choices when many people in the world do not have this blessing.“
  3. Embrace the opportunity to contribute through simple micro-move actions such as picking up trash or safely returning a stray shopping cart to a corral. Consider, “I can help ease a path for others.
  4. When we think outside our individual needs and turn our focus toward others, gratitude for our ability to help is enhanced. When we help, the lens through which we view life evolves us into a gentler and kinder presence. We are simply more pleasant to be around.

I encourage you to read the full articles linked here and watch the YouTube video by Rajesh Setty. Below are a few excerpts that will inspire you to read further.

Bruce Kasanoff, in “Help This Person,” encourages us every time we encounter another person to think: help this person. Bruce notes:

“Nothing else can so quickly supercharge your career and improve the quality of your life. And, yes, being genuinely helpful is the most substantive “self-promotion” possible.”

“By first thinking help this person, you will change the ways that others perceive you. There is no faster or more effective way to change your interactions and relationships. You will be viewed as a positive, constructive, helpful, and dependable person. People will think you are more perceptive, attentive, and understanding.”

Be considerate and appreciative of everyone you encounter. When we lift the spirits of others, a potential ripple effect can occur, and we feel good as well!

The following post by Dave Kerpen inspired this reflection about gratitude. Linda Misencik, a longtime friend (married to “the best dentist in the country” until he retired in 2018), read this post and sent it to me. Speaking of gratitude, I am thrilled Linda thought to send the article to me!

In Dave’s post, “Gratitude is the Opposite of Entitlement,” he notes:

“When we are entitled, we think the world needs to go our way ‘just because’. When we are grateful, on the other hand, we appreciate the world around us no matter what, ‘just because’. I am grateful for so many things every day.”

This observation is incredible. When we believe events must go the way we want, that is an attitude of entitlement. Rather, understand that we don’t control external events. We control the reasoned choice of our mind (a critical aspect of Stoicism) and our response. When we embrace this understanding and are grateful for what we have, we move away from the perspective of entitlement.

The third and fourth posts to share are from Ryan Holiday‘s The Daily Stoic. I am a fan of Stoicism and look forward to the daily email (Monday through Friday) distribution. The two recent posts I encourage you to read:

“It Says Everything About You.” A few highlights that resonated:

“How we treat the little guy says a lot about us. How we treat the gate agent at the airline. How we treat the customer service representative. How we treat the waiter and the barista. This says a lot about us. Even when, perhaps especially when, they aren’t treating us well. Can we control our emotions? Can we contain our frustration? Can we remember that they are almost certainly having a hard time too? That no amount of yelling at someone making an hourly wage will make a plane appear or fix a stupid corporate policy?

We all have bad days…which means other people have bad days, too. We should strive to be patient. We should strive to understand.”

“We All Carry A Debt.“

“There is also a debt that we have to pay back. Our ancestors are not all Union men. We live on stolen land. Our museums are filled with looted goods. Our progress came at great expense to the environment and to other species. Who made that device you’re holding? Who made that T-shirt you’re wearing?”

“Our ancestors were wonderful and they were terrible. We, their descendants all over the world, are indebted to them for both. We have to pay forward the good they did. We have to make right the wrongs they did. We don’t control what they did—to borrow from the dichotomy of control at the center of Stoicism—but we control what we do now, here in our own times. Doing better is up to us. This is what the virtue of justice demands. It’s what decency and duty demands of us.”

Two additional posts to share are a blog from Seth Godin and a YouTube video from Rajesh Setty:

“What Does The World Owe Us?” Seth notes this question comes from a perspective of entitlement. He encourages us to turn this question around and ask ourselves, “What do I owe the world?“

“On the other hand, “what do I owe the world?” opens the door for endless opportunity. When lots of people ask this question, the contributions add up, the connections are solidified and better is possible.

The best part is that waiting for the world to get things just right is exhausting and frustrating, while taking responsibility for what we might be able to contribute or lead can be energizing and fun.”

Finally, I highly recommend watching this YouTube video from Rajesh Setty, Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time.

A regular practice of gratitude will change your perspective on life. We can all participate in making our world a better place. Micro-moves of intentionally contributing to others and our world at large can make a difference in ways unimagined. Just believe. One person, one action at a time, matters.

Be the Light of the World – Kindness