The Long Game of Kindness: Shifting from Daily Distractions to Lasting Impact

“What we are taught, we learn. What we cultivate, we absorb. There are no small acts of kindness. Each compassionate deed is like watering a redwood seed. You never know what heights it might reach.”

–Eric Weiner book The Socrates Express, interpretation of Confucius Philosophy

This post is inspired by Seth Godin’s blog post, “Are you day trading?” published on December 28, 2017 (Ship It calendar day: September 14, 2024), and Eric Weiner’s book The Socrates Express. In Seth’s post, he references the day-trading many of us do every day that compromises our ability to bring our best to our lives and the work we do. We don’t even realize this is happening! Consider this from his post:

We’re hooked into something volatile, easily measured and emotional. We overdo our response to news, good or bad, and let it distract us from the long-term job of living a useful life.”

“It’ll be volatile with or without your help. Better to set it aside and get back to the real work of making a difference instead.”

Better to set it aside and get back to the real work of making a difference instead. We must be disciplined and intentional with our precious asset of time. Where is your time being “stolen” by daily drama or mainstream news that gets us hyped up? Yet, if you pause and contemplate for a few seconds, you can decide not to engage with the moment and go about making a difference in your life! Small daily micro-moments can shift your entire presence in your world and interactions with others. Consider:

  1. Eliminate consuming mainstream media news.
  2. Do not judge or offer an unsolicited opinion.
  3. Do not gossip.
  4. Read a book.
  5. Be more patient.
  6. Be more tolerant.
  7. Stay calm.
  8. Help others.
  9. Be grateful.
  10. Express thanks and appreciation.
  11. Adopt a mindset of abundance and generosity. Be kind.

All of the above examples are making a difference. How we live daily will contribute to making a difference for ourselves and others. Every moment we allow agitation, frustration, or anger to enter our sphere is time forever lost to the possibility of kindness.

December 11, 2022 | Bill and Terri Tomoff IRL Meetup with Seth Godin

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June 2019 – TwinzTalk at Kelleys Island – Be Good To People

Kindness. Small acts of kindness will change your world. Know this. I recently listened to Eric Weiner’s The Socrates Express: In Search of Life Lessons from Dead Philosophers. From the Amazon book description:

“Eric Weiner combines his twin passions for philosophy and travel in a globe-trotting pil­grimage that uncovers surprising life lessons from great thinkers around the world, from Rousseau to Nietzsche, Confucius to Simone Weil. Traveling by train (the most thoughtful mode of transport), he journeys thousands of miles, making stops in Athens, Delhi, Wyoming, Coney Island, Frankfurt, and points in between to recon­nect with philosophy’s original purpose: teaching us how to lead wiser, more meaningful lives. From Socrates and ancient Athens to Beauvoir and 20th-century Paris, Weiner’s chosen philosophers and places provide important practical and spiritual lessons as we navigate today’s chaotic times.”

In Chapter 9, How to Be Kind like Confucius, Eric notes this about kindness [Bold emphasis is mine]:

“What we are taught, we learn. What we cultivate, we absorb. There are no small acts of kindness. Each compassionate deed is like watering a redwood seed. You never know what heights it might reach.”

“Kindness is always there, whether we notice it or not. “The Great Asymmetry,” the late Harvard paleontologist Stephen Jay Gould called this phenomenon. “Every spectacular incident of evil will be balanced by 10,000 acts of kindness,” he said. We witness these acts every day on our streets and in our homes and, yes, on the New York subway. An elderly woman braves a cold November day to feed the neighborhood squirrels; a businessman, late for a meeting, stops to help a single mom carry the groceries to her car; a teenager, skateboard in hand, notices an expired parking meter and drops a quarter in. That these ordinary acts of kindness rarely make the news renders them no less real, or heroic.

It is our duty, almost a holy responsibility, says Gould, “to record and honor the victorious weight of these innumerable little kindnesses.” Gould, a hard-nosed scientist, saw a practical reason for registering goodness. Kindness honored is kindness multiplied. Kindness is contagious. Witnessing acts of moral beauty triggers a flood of physical and emotional responses. Observing acts of kindness encourages us to act more kindly ourselves, a phenomenon confirmed in several recent studies.

I experience the kindness contagion firsthand. After my week riding the F train, hyperalert to acts of kindness, I become kinder myself. I hold doors for people. I pick up litter. I thank my barista—and leave a tip when she isn’t looking. These small acts won’t snare me the Nobel Peace Prize or sainthood, I realize. But it’s a start. A few more drops on the redwood seed.”

Are you interested in learning more and being more intentional about kindness (please…)? Check out KindLoook.com (Look, a little longer, with kindness…), developed by Daniel Burns, a tremendous human who encourages us all to notice and celebrate acts of kindness. Join the movement of kindness!

Our world is too often dominated by noise and negativity, yet we have the power to create a different reality. If we take small steps to put aside the noise and instead focus on micro-moments of small, intentional acts of kindness, we can be part of a movement toward positive change. Whether eliminating toxic media consumption, practicing patience, being more tolerant, or helping others, each small act contributes to a larger culture of kindness. As we become more aware of the kindness around us, we become kinder ourselves, creating a contagious cycle of good. 

Rajesh Setty | Rules for Heart-Led Relationships
Be Kind – Bill Tomoff and Doug Cantlay
November 11, 2023 | Worthy Rally in NYC | Andrea Sanchez, Bill Tomoff, and Kate Nasser

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