The Art of the Epitaph: Conveying a Lifetime in Ten Words or Less

Executive Summary (Assist to ChatGPT – modified)

As I reflect on the passing of Charlie Munger, I’m drawn to his humble suggestion for his epitaph, “I tried to be useful,” a sentiment that deeply resonates with my personal journey. His legacy, marked by wisdom and humility, inspires me to consider my life’s motto in ten words or less, “I did my best. I cared.” This phrase encapsulates my commitment to living with effort, compassion, and personal accountability, emphasizing that my actions are guided by intrinsic motivation rather than the pursuit of external validation. My recent four years of daily engagement with stoic meditations have profoundly influenced my perspective, teaching me the liberating truth that one’s value isn’t determined by universal acceptance but by the authenticity and kindness of one’s actions.

In my reflections, I’ve come to understand that it’s not about how others perceive my efforts but how I perceive them. I am inspired by the idea that while we can’t control others’ opinions, we do control our intentions and efforts. This understanding has been a guiding principle in my life, especially sharpened as I consider the legacy I wish to leave behind. With inspiration from Munger’s philosophy and my own stoicism efforts, I aim to live authentically, contribute meaningfully, and maintain inner peace by upholding my own standards and intentions, striving to make a difference in ways that inspire me, and focusing on acting with goodness and kindness without concern for external judgment.

Original Full Reflection

Charlie Munger, vice chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, passed away on November 28, 2023, at 99 years old. Warren Buffett “described Munger as his closest partner and right-hand man.” Due to my lifetime interest in personal finance and investing, I searched for more information about Munger upon learning of his passing.

A quote from Munger inspires this writing and my preliminary title for a book effort in 2024.

“I Did My Best. I Cared: Reflections on Experiences, Lessons Learned, and Heartfelt Tips to Live a Fulfilling Life.”

As Sahil Bloom shared on Twitter (X), Jason Zweig asked Munger “What he might want for an epitaph of no more than ten words. His reply was immediate and full of epistemic humility: “I tried to be useful.” Not “I was useful.” That would be for other people to judge. But “I tried.” That much he knew.”

Charlie Munger humbly answered, “I tried to be useful,” acknowledging that his intent and effort were under his control – not how others would judge him. His brief statement speaks volumes to his sincere desire to be the best-contributing human he was capable of, yet he was not going to guide his actions based on how he thought others might judge him. External judgment of his actions was not his business. I love his response and his perspective. Munger’s perspective is very stoic-like and reminded me of stoicism thoughts that have touched on this theme often.

The important part of my proposed book title is my personal response to Munger’s answer to a question from Zweig:

No more than ten words, yet this speaks from my heart about how I want to leave my life’s journey: “I Did My Best. I Cared.”

My intent and heart are dedicated to answering affirmatively when I question myself, “Have I done my best?” Not “Have I done my best in the eyes of others?” When we can go deep within ourselves and know that we have done our best, the feeling is liberating and provides peace with ourselves. I am measuring by my own standards and limitations. This is the measuring stick I strive to hold for myself, and I also strive to give grace to others by reminding myself that they are also doing their best – whatever that means for them. The best effort of others is not my place to judge.

Over the past four years, I have been reading The Daily Stoic Meditations daily, and I attribute the process to helping refine my thinking and behavior toward life. This is why Charlie’s epitaph suggestion, focused on what was within HIS control, resonated with me and prompted this reflection.

In the Daily Stoic email post, They’re Not All Going To Like You, we are encouraged to remember that “we are not for everyone, and we never will be.” It is liberating for us to reflect on and accept this fact and go forward with genuine intent to bring good and kindness to the world.

“In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius talks about how it’s easier to deal with stuff when you understand the percentages–that a certain number of certain types of people exist, for example, and you’re bound to bump into them eventually. Do you really think it’s possible for everyone to like you?

We didn’t do anything wrong. This isn’t bigotry or hatred. It’s just a mismatch. That actor whose face you don’t like…you have that same face for someone else. That person you roll your eyes at, you’re them to someone else. That show you change the channel to avoid, someone is doing that to your work right now.”

“You must accept that we’re not for everyone and we never will be. What matters is that we like ourselves, that we stand for what we like, and we leave those who this bothers alone.”

Inspired by my work with the Stoicism philosophy, Charlie Munger’s suggestion for his epitaph hit close to home for me. My heart is full as I consider the progress in my life – staying true to making a difference in the ways that inspire me and not seeking validation and affirmation from others. I did my best. I cared. Today, this sentiment feels perfect for me as I reflect on my life. How I am judged for my contributions is not my concern. I prefer to act with goodness and kindness and know I am making a meaningful impact. I know.

Beyond the Limits: Learning from the TwinzTalk Framework for AI

I recently reflected on ChatGPT’s value as a personal assistant for my writing efforts. An exciting discovery for me has been using ChatGPT to review and provide a summary and/or highlights of my writing content – articulated at a level that I cannot attain!

Allow – What We Can’t Do…

Allowing what I cannot do is the highest tier of possibility in the TwinzTalk hierarchy of the Framework for Working with Gen AI (see the post linked above).

In his blog “Signal and Noise,” dated December 15, 2023, Seth Godin’s words hit upon exactly the magic I am enjoying:

“AI and computers can be used as lenses now, which means we can strip away the noise and see things that we certainly didn’t expect.”

Typical consumer AI is a clever trick that makes us think the computer is a pretty good writer. But machine learning aimed at patterns and signals shows us things that we never knew were there.”

On the same day as Seth’s blog post, Rajesh Setty shared a LinkedIn post encouraging “Embracing constraints with AI.” Similar to the twinz perspective that ChatGPT “allows what we can’t do,” Rajesh notes a similar theme:

“If you can’t do something on your own, use the power of AI to help. There’s no need to “not do it” or just try anymore.”

I encourage you to follow Seth Godin’s blog and Rajesh Setty on social media for thought-provoking content. Be serious and be intentional about learning every day. As Charlie Munger emphasizes:

“Those who keep learning will keep rising in life.”

ChatGPT Plus Dall-E AI Generated Image – Student in Library – Anxious to Learn!

The Unseen Power of ChatGPT in My Personal Growth and Writing

The work that Don and I do around the topic of Generative AI, and specifically ChatGPT Plus, has focused on the potential to improve individual performance. How can we all utilize ChatGPT to enhance performance and raise our contributions to our world and others?

  1. Accelerate – What We Do.
  2. Enable – What We Should Do.
  3. Allow – What We Can’t Do.

These areas are exciting to consider as we enhance our productivity (accelerate), creativity, and thoughts. As we individually improve our understanding of Generative AI and narrow the focus, ChatGPT Plus specifically, our ability to help others accelerates. Embrace this exciting potential.

Over the past 3+ years, I have written regularly and have built an extensive resource of reflections about many topics of interest to me. The process started on June 8, 2020, when Terri (writing The Focused Fight) and I joined Writing in Community, a six-month initiative to write a book. My initial project was to write a personal (unpublished) memoir/autobiography. What evolved for me was unimaginable – a love of regular writing, celebrating so many who have played a part in my and my family’s lives, and going in directions with my writing that has enriched my life tremendously.

What does this have to do with ChatGPT? Noting from above the highest level of individual possibility – Allow – What We Can’t Do – I used ChatGPT to summarize content for me. As an extension of my writing, gaining insight from ChatGPT ignited a new level of results that I confidently placed in the “What I can’t do” category!

My memoirs that I have completed since embarking on my writing adventure in 2020:

Published:

  • Chapter 32 of The Focused Fight – Heartfelt Reflections from Bill and Olivia.

Unpublished:

  1. Personal autobiography/memoir (December 2020) – Living Life…Off The Track.
  2. Memoir of daughter Olivia (December 2021) – Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer.
  3. Memoir of brother Alex (February 2023) – “Million Dollar Al” and Beyond.
  4. Memoir of twin brother Don (December 2023) – Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes.

On June 21, 2023, I shared a blog post using ChatGPT to recap chapter 19, The Postcard Project, of The Focused Fight. The results I received back were stunning and have inspired me to ask ChatGPT to provide summaries of my writing regularly. Using my writing, ChatGPT summarizes and articulates the meaning better than I could ever do myself! I have a new personal assistant to assist my writing efforts!

To be shared separately, I used ChatGPT to provide me a “Book Back Cover Blurb” in the document gifted to my brothers Alex and Don.

Living with Intention: My Path to Post-Traumatic Growth and Encouraging Everyday Kindness

ChatGPT Summary

In this blog post, I share my reflections and insights shaped by a journey marked with resilience and gratitude, deeply influenced by my son Ryan’s courageous battles against cancer. Drawing wisdom from Terri Tomoff’s “The Focused Fight,” I explore how these profound experiences have enriched my perspective, fostering a commitment to spread kindness and positivity.

As I approach my 65th birthday, my heart is brimming with gratitude. I’m dedicated to living a life filled with impact, kindness, and helpfulness, embracing the concept of post-traumatic growth. I’m inspired by Adam Grant’s “five-minute favors” from his book “Give and Take,” believing in the cumulative power of small, intentional acts of kindness.

My life philosophy is encapsulated in three core themes. Firstly, through “The Focused Fight,” I aim to encourage others with a message of gentleness and understanding. Secondly, our Tomoff family mission focuses on helping one person, one family, at a time. Finally, along with my twin Don and our #TwinzTalk initiative, we endeavor to change the world one interaction at a time. These principles guide my daily interactions, where I strive to be an encouraging and enthusiastic presence.

Supporting this message, I reference a post from Instagram’s imagine_values and a “Five-Minute Favors” video on YouTube. Additionally, musician Nick Cave’s words resonate deeply with me, highlighting the significance of everyday gestures in creating ripples of change. Cave eloquently speaks to the profound impact of our smallest actions and their meaningful consequences.

In conclusion, I extend a heartfelt invitation to join me in embracing micro-moments of kindness and a gentler approach towards ourselves and others. Every action, no matter how small, matters significantly. Through these seemingly insignificant acts, we can all contribute to lifting the spirits of others, thus shaping a kinder, more compassionate world.

Full Reflection

My perspective and efforts in life strive to lead with a grateful heart as I go through my days. When I am gentle and kind to myself, I am inspired to bring that same presence to the world and those I interact with. I could credit many life events for their role in shaping me into who I am today. Yet, the dramatic life-threatening and life-altering event of my son Ryan’s five-time battles with cancer and the lens through which I experience life have profoundly changed me. Terri Tomoff’s memoir, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey From Mayhem to Miracles, shares Ryan and our family’s journey since his original diagnosis in 1996.

As I approach my 65th birthday (!), my heart is filled with gratitude for the growth I have experienced in my life, and I am dedicated with my heart and soul to being an impactful, kind, caring, and helpful person for the rest of my life. The concept of post-traumatic growth is one that Terri and I embrace fully, and we strive to be intentional in our efforts to pay it forward for the unimaginable care and kindness that has been shared with our family over the years.

Recognizing that TIME is my most precious asset, I have dedicated efforts focused on micro-moments of kindness and five-minute favors (encouraged by Adam Grant in his book Give and Take). Opportunities abound to make a difference in our world, and my approach to seemingly small, insignificant, yet genuine acts of kindness WILL make a compounding difference in my world. How do I “know?” I believe, and I KNOW – I do not need affirmation. I promise – live your life to bring good to the world – and you will notice the impact on you and your world!

A few themes I believe and strive for as part of my values are:

My theme – encouragement with signed copies of The Focused Fight:

“Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.”

Our Tomoff family mission of The Focused Fight book:

“Helping others, one person, one family, at a time.”

Bill and Don Tomoff’s mission of #TwinzTalk and our professional work:

“Changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.”

My preferred contributions for making an impact in my corner of the world are to focus on micro-moments of kindness and five-minute favors. How I conduct myself daily is critically important, and I strive to be an encouraging and enthusiastic presence as I go through my activities and interactions. Our actions matter – a lot. An inspiration from imagine_values on Instagram is a fantastic reminder for my approach to bringing value to my life and world: “Think big and act small.

A beautiful discussion of “Five-Minute Favors” is shared in this short 4-minute and 41-second YouTube video from Good Morning America.

And, to close, James Clear’s 3-2-1 weekly newsletter from Thursday, November 23, 2023, shared a beautiful excerpt from musician Nick Cave:

Musician Nick Cave on the power of small actions:

“The everyday human gesture is always a heartbeat away from the miraculous.

Remember that ultimately, we make things happen through our actions, way beyond our understanding or intention; that our seemingly small ordinary human acts have untold consequences; that what we do in this world means something; that we are not nothing; and that our most quotidian human actions by their nature burst the seams of our intent and spill meaningfully and radically through time and space, changing everything.

Our deeds, no matter how insignificant they may feel, are replete with meaning and of vast consequence, and they constantly impact upon the unfolding story of the world, whether we know it or not.”

Source: ​The Red Hand Files, Issue #216​ (lightly edited for clarity)

Portions of the unedited post at the link provided above resonated with me:

“Perhaps the song attempts to present the idea that the everyday human gesture is always a heartbeat away from the miraculous – that ultimately we make things happen through our actions, way beyond our understanding or intention; that our seemingly small ordinary human acts have untold consequences; that what we do in this world means something; that we are not nothing; and that our most quotidian human actions by their nature burst the seams of our intent and spill meaningfully and radically through time and space, changing everything. Night Raid tells us that our deeds, no matter how insignificant they may feel, are replete with meaning, and of vast consequence, and that they constantly impact upon the unfolding story of the world, whether we know it or not.”

“… All action provokes change. Nothing is ineffectual. Nothing.

Francis, rather than feel impotent and useless, you must come to terms with the fact that as a human being you are infinitely powerful, and take responsibility for this tremendous power. Even our smallest actions have potential for great change, positively or negatively, and the way in which we all conduct ourselves within the world means something. You are anything but impotent, you are, in fact, exquisitely and frighteningly dynamic, as are we all, and with all respect you have an obligation to stand up and take responsibility for that potential. It is your most ordinary and urgent duty.”

My hope is anyone who reads my post here will embrace the magic of micro-moments of kindness and five-minute favors. As Nick Cave encourages, EVERY action matters. We all can prioritize time to contribute and lift the spirits of others through seemingly insignificant actions. 

May we all adopt a kinder and gentler approach to ourselves and our interactions with others? Join me in this movement.

PS – if you need to move in front of me in a long traffic line, I’ve got you covered!

April 2023 - Bill and Ryan Tomoff
The Tomoff Family - Terri, Olivia, Ryan, and Bill

A Drop of Hope: How a Marrow Transplant Ignited a Lifetime of Gratitude

ChatGPT Highlights of Post

  1. I pause to reflect back on November 3, 2004, a day ingrained in our hearts as we nervously sat in Duke University Medical Center, awaiting the marrow donation that held the hope of a fresh lease of life for Ryan, battling Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.
  2. The week of outpatient radiation Ryan endured, wiping out his immune system, only intensified the need for a successful transfusion, each passing moment fueling our prayers for the meticulous execution of the transplant.
  3. Our beacon of hope was Scott Harris, whose altruistic act of marrow donation from miles away in New York was the cornerstone of Ryan’s fight for survival. His selfless act is a testament to the adage that humanity thrives in unity.
  4. Rajesh Setty’s words, “Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude,” resonates deeply with our experiences, encapsulating the essence of thankfulness we foster each day for Scott and many others whose benevolence has been a guiding light in our journey.
  5. The narrative within Terri’s memoir, “The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles,” not only chronicles our voyage through turbulent times but also advocates for the priceless act of marrow donation, urging the reader to explore and share the life-saving potential encapsulated in “Be The Match.”

Our narrative is a homage to the boundless generosity we’ve received and a call to action for others to partake in life-altering acts of kindness, fostering a continuum of hope and lifesaving camaraderie.

Full Reflection (Written November 3, 2023)

Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude.” – Rajesh Setty

November 3, 2004. Nineteen years ago today, my family and I were in Durham, NC, at Duke University Medical Center. Terri Tomoff and my son, sister Olivia’s brother, were with Ryan as we anxiously awaited the marrow donation to be delivered to Duke and prepared for transfusion to Ryan. We all were praying for the successful execution of steps that needed to be taken to provide Ryan with his opportunity for a life-saving transplant. He was waiting in his hospital room after having completed a week of outpatient radiation that eliminated his immune system – his body’s ability to fight an infection was non-existent.

When we experienced Ryan’s 3x wars with childhood cancer (ALL – Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia), we immediately understood that people need people. Success in the process was not in our control. The realization creates desperation. On this day in November 2004, we all waited anxiously for the necessary steps that had to unfold before delivering the marrow transfusion to Ryan.

We would only learn the specifics a full year later. Still, our donor, Scott Harris, from the New York area, started the morning of November 3rd by going to a local hospital to have his marrow harvested for delivery to Duke, where a ten-year-old boy and his family waited. At approximately 7:45 PM, the transplant was started!

Every day, we carry an attitude of gratitude for Scott Harris and the gift of life that his selfless act provided to Ryan and our family. Yet, on the anniversary, we take an intentional pause and reflect on his kindness, along with the care and compassion of many people and medical professionals who dedicated their efforts to Ryan’s survival. Rajesh Setty’s quote above, which I discovered in his YouTube video, Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time,” could not more perfectly articulate the emotion in our family.

I encourage everyone to watch the video for thought-provoking inspiration and encouragement from Rajesh, particularly from 3:00 to 5:05 minutes, where he references Dr. Howard Hogshead and life-changing gifts.

The list of people I feel heartfelt gratitude for is very long, and we dedicate our lives to helping others, honoring those who have impacted our journey and who ultimately gave the gift of life to Ryan.

In her memoir book, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, Terri discusses Ryan and our family’s in-depth journey through transplant (Chapter 23 – The Transplant) and the emotional meeting with Scott Harris on November 4, 2005 (Chapter 27 – Can YOU Be The Match?).

As Terri asks with her title of chapter 27 – can you be the match? Please check out and share the critically vital link to Be The Match.

November 3, 2004 – Ryan Tomoff transplant is started at 7:45 PM
November 4, 2005 – Ryan Tomoff meets his Bone Marrow Transplant donor Scott Harris.
July 2021 – Olivia, Bill, Terri, and Ryan Tomoff celebrate Terri’s The Focused Fight book, published March 11, 2021
December 2019 – Olivia and Ryan Tomoff – Maui, Hawaii

Beyond the Present: The Transformative Skill of Anticipation

What are your superpowers? Consider appreciating and developing the power of anticipation. #TwinzTalk

In my recent morning reading, the August 25th post titled Cultivate the Third Eye in Robert Greene’s book The Daily Laws resonated with me.

In our personal development agenda, Don and I address anticipation as a superpower we have developed throughout our careers. Greene suggests that “reading the future” is a trait we can learn and develop. He notes:

“Most people are locked in the moment. They are prone to overreacting and panicking, to seeing only a narrow part of the reality facing the group. They cannot entertain alternative ideas or prioritize. Those who maintain their presence of mind and elevate their perspective above the moment tap into the visionary powers of the human mind and cultivate that third eye for unseen forces and trends. They stand out from the group and fulfill the true function of leadership.”

Prioritize time to contemplate your superpowers. Many superpowers are not inherited – they can be developed. Anticipation is powerful and well worth deliberately working towards. The payoff compounds – working and living with a proactive mindset vs. reacting to what the world throws at us – are incredibly valuable!

From Fear to Action: Adopting a Low-Risk Approach to New Technologies

Summary of Blog Post Highlights (assist to ChatGPT)

After I have written about a topic of interest, I often enjoy prompting ChatGPT to provide a TL;DR summary and/or a recap of highlights. I have found ChatGPT often recaps my words and articulates my thoughts better than I can! The highlights of the full blog post:

  1. Stay Calm: Don’t succumb to the fear and hysteria often portrayed by mainstream media. Embrace change with a calm and open mind.
  2. Adopt a Possibility Mindset: Be optimistic about AI’s potential benefits. Rather than fearing the unknown, explore new technology’s possibilities.
  3. Limit Exposure to Alarmist Media: Alarmist narratives often overemphasize the risks of AI. Make an effort to seek balanced, well-researched information.
  4. Be Curious, Not Judgmental: Approach AI with curiosity and an eagerness to learn. Don’t dismiss it outright due to misconceptions or biases.
  5. Test Out Technology: Engage with AI in low-risk situations to gain firsthand experience. Ignoring AI might pose a higher risk in the long run.
  6. Leverage, Don’t Overly Rely on AI: While AI can be highly beneficial, don’t become too dependent on it. Strive for a balanced use of technology.
  7. Continuous Learning and Development: By remaining curious and open-minded, you can continually develop personally and professionally. AI offers an array of opportunities for learning and growth.
  8. Make Informed Decisions: By engaging with AI, you can make educated decisions about its utility. This will allow you to benefit from the technology while mitigating the potential risks of choosing to ignore the tools.
  9. Contribute Positively: A measured, intentional approach to AI can enable you to make significant contributions to society and improve your own life.

Full Blog Post

I recently read a blog post by Ted Lamade, published by Collaborative Fund, titled Fear of Acorns.

Starting with a story about the fable of Chicken Little, Lamade turns the focus to the modern-day introduction of AI and the fact that there is no shortage of fear that “the sky is falling” and that AI is leading us down a dangerous path. Is the fear warranted?

The fear is probably not warranted. Ask the TwinzTalk duo, and Don and I will enthusiastically share the incredible potential for good that we believe AI will bring to people who are calm, curious, and asking the question, “How can these AI tools be used to help?”

While AI is the “latest” technology, it is easy to find plenty of mainstream media coverage broadcasting the danger to our future lives; creating fear is a common quick reaction that scares people and supports a desire to stay with the status quo in their life. On an individual level, we must start by analyzing our responses and considering, “Am I taking a deliberate, thoughtful approach to my decisions, or am I part of the problem by taking a negative stand without doing any research on my own?”

Below, I will share thoughts from the article and tips that Don and I recommend as a more rational and thoughtful approach to assessing new technologies, including our approach to using ChatGPT AI.

“…an irrational amount of fear is a problem because it makes us susceptible to the “Foxy Loxy’s” of the world. Those who aim to leverage fear for personal gain. Those who sell advice, products, and services that feed into the fear. Those who want it to magnify it at every turn. The media is the obvious culprit, but there are countless others.”

“This past weekend alone, there were more than two dozen articles in the various papers I read highlighting the risks surrounding AI, how it is going to dismantle the American workforce, cause the wealth gap to widen even further, destabilize the economy, and even lead to nuclear holocaust.”

“For something that is so confusing and complicated, the answer is likely relatively simple. For industries less dependent on human behavior, AI will likely be a highly beneficial development. However, for those more dependent on us and our whims, caution is likely warranted.

This said, the majority of industries will unsurprisingly fall somewhere in the middle, which means they will be better off if they find a way to leverage but not rely too heavily on these new technologies.”

The article is thought-provoking and should encourage anyone to “take a deeper look” and study the possibilities of AI before dismissing the technology outright. The riskiest decision may be “I don’t need this,” and to proceed with your life’s routine. The approach that Don and I have used throughout our careers and are currently using around adopting ChatGPT and other AI technologies rapidly showing up in the world is:

  • Stay calm.
  • Carry a mindset of possibility. Be optimistic.
  • Do not watch or limit exposure to mainstream media, which brings alarmist news or the latest catastrophe to our living rooms.
  • Be curious and not judgemental. Ask yourself, “What might I be missing?” Read widely and study how tools are being used.
  • Choose to test out technology with the lowest risk proposition. Remember, choosing to ignore or do nothing may be an expensive choice in the longer run. By choosing low-risk ways to touch technology, you are gaining firsthand experience and are able to make a more educated decision for yourself as to whether to use it or not. By choosing low-risk, a mistake does not eliminate you from playing the game.

A calmer, optimistic mindset and a more intentional approach toward technology will open up a surprising world of possibilities to develop yourself personally and professionally. Be curious and chip away every day. You will develop yourself and become a more substantial contributor to your world and those who surround you!

Beyond Money: The Power of Your Personal Balance Sheet for Success

“We need to keep our sight on managing the balance sheet.”

I was stating a phrase often as I evolved in my career finance leadership roles. Along with that phrase was a follow-up noting, “The balance sheet is where the magic is.

High emphasis is given to a company’s profit and loss performance within the business world. Yet, we must fully understand and monitor/manage the full range of financial statements – the income statement (P&L), the balance sheet, and the statement of cash flows. Mr. Pollin, the former owner of the NBA Washington Wizards, NHL Washington Capitals, and the arena in downtown Washington, DC (MCI Center built and opened on December 2, 1997), once emphasized to me, “Cash is king.” Cash provides freedom in business – space to allow for investing and growth decisions, a buffer to enable the peace of mind that the company can weather an economic downturn and possibly make decisions to come out even stronger on the other side of tough times.

Where does cash reside in the financial statements? The balance sheet. Cash and business equity (retained earnings) are the two figures that shine a spotlight on the possible health of a company.

“Wait, are you telling me the income statement is not important? How do we know how we are performing?” We are NOT suggesting the income statement is not essential – closely monitoring, understanding, and managing revenues and expenses is imperative for any business. A sustainable business does not happen or survive by performing at a net loss (expenses greater than revenues) year in and year out. Yet when a viable business generates a profit, a tandem step must be working diligently on managing the balance sheet.

What sources and uses of cash? Are we operating at a positive cash flow level? We must increase the balance sheet cash and retained earnings.

Most accounting professionals understand the descriptions and emphasis noted above. What Don and I encourage/implore individual professionals to understand – the concept of “manage the balance sheet” applies to all of us in our personal lives. The results can be catastrophic if we fail to recognize and dedicate ourselves to this critically important work.

A choice to do nothing and not own our personal development is still a choice. Once awareness is acknowledged, inaction is a choice. We need to highlight and understand the risks.

A component of our morning reading process includes The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. The meditation of July 17th, The Start-Up of You, noted emphasis on personal development:

But what does Socrates say? “Just as one person delights in improving his farm and another his horse, so I delight in attending to my own improvement day by day.”

Epictetus, Discourses, 3.5.14

An excerpt from the meditation notes:

“But shouldn’t we be just as invested in building ourselves as we would be in any company?

Like a start-up, we begin as just an idea: we’re incubated, put out into the world where we develop slowly, and then, over time, we accumulate partners, employees, customers, investors, and wealth. Is it really so strange to treat your own life as seriously as you might treat an idea for a business? Which one really is the matter of life and death?”

When contemplating our personal lives, let’s understand the perspective of a macro view beyond the financial elements. Below are several factors that we would consider aspects of the individual balance sheet:

  • Financial matters are a significant pillar in our balance sheets. Be bold about embracing personal finance knowledge. We suggest Morgan Housel’s The Psychology of Money.
  • Cash, investments, and net worth are the core elements in the traditional sense of the balance sheet.

Morgan Housel, in this CNBC article, notes:

“Being able to do what you want, when you want, where you want, with who you want, and for as long as you want provides a lasting level of happiness that no amount of “fancy stuff” can ever offer.”

  • Commit to personal development. Invest your own time and money and actively seek learning opportunities in areas of your interest and professional growth.
  • Self-care is essential and is not a selfish priority. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Exercise and get your rest.
  • Mindset – embrace a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset.
  • Adopt a morning reading routine. Challenge your thinking and learn from others.
  • Bring kindness, positivity, and encouragement to the world. You will feel better, be noticed, and appreciated.
  • In small ways, help others consistently-every day, with no expectation. You will feel more fulfilled.
  • What presence do you bring to the world – we need to be a friend to ourselves, our world, and each other.
  • Stay CALM. Great strength and advantage accrue to individuals who can keep themselves aware and clear-headed in times of adversity. A helpful post from The Daily Stoic – How To Remain Calm When The World Is Freaking Out.
  • Relationships – who do you spend your time with?
  • What media do you consume? We are what we consume.

Slow down and prioritize time in your day to assess and work on your personal balance sheet. We hope this post provides thoughts that guide you toward an increasingly fulfilling life. To work on ourselves is a privilege and a joy – a better you helps to create a better world.

Invest in yourself. The world needs your talents and contributions!

Unlocking Hope: The Impact of a Postcard Project on One Family’s Childhood Cancer Battle

Introduction:

This blog post results from using ChatGPT (CGPT) to summarize and reframe chapter 19, The Postcard Project, in Terri Tomoff’s memoir, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles.

My twin Don and I have been learning, “playing with,” and working to identify compelling personal use cases for using CGPT to enhance our performance and ability to bring increased value to ourselves and others.

The summaries provided here were a direct result of prompting CGPT based on the full text of the chapter. I have first-hand knowledge of the topic (creator of The Postcard Project), so I can verify the results of our family’s direct experiences. I have tweaked the results below for greater clarity and accuracy, yet the starting point provided by CGPT astounded me!

I started by copying and pasting the chapter’s entire text, about 1,500 words, into CGPT and prompting it for a 500-word summary recap. Then I prompted, “Why was the postcard project important for Ryan and our family?” The results encouraged me to share in this blog post. Reminder – I carefully read the answers generated by CGPT and modified the results to reflect sentiments that aligned exactly with my feelings. However, the “head start” provided by CGPT is the emphasis here – I am sure this result would not have been gathered without the assistance of CGPT.

Recap of the Chapter:

Chapter 19 of Terri Tomoff’s book, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, titled “The Postcard Project,” shares the story of a unique initiative undertaken by the family of Ryan. This young boy had gone silent after his second acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL) cancer relapse.

The news of the relapse made Ryan sad and uninterested in talking with almost anyone. Hoping to lift his spirits and encourage him to communicate, his father, Bill, conceived a project where well-wishers would send sports-themed postcards with supportive messages to Ryan. He was a huge sports fan.

Termed “The Postcard Project,” the idea rapidly gained momentum, with people sending postcards worldwide. In addition, Ryan received other gifts, including sports jerseys and even a letter of good wishes from the President of the United States, George W. Bush! The family had set up a P.O. Box to manage the volume of mail, which exceeded 2,500 pieces between June and December 2004.

The postcard project not only provided a distraction for Ryan but also became a ray of hope for the entire family. People’s goodwill worked wonders, as the messages he received lifted Ryan’s spirits. Depending on his health and mood, He could open the mail on his terms, either in the hospital or at home.

One touching incident mentioned in the chapter was when a nurse, who had earlier sent Ryan a postcard from Hawaii, was assigned to him at Duke University Medical Center for his bone marrow transplant. The family viewed this coincidence as a minor miracle.

Despite the trauma and uncertainty surrounding Ryan’s treatment, the chapter emphasizes the resilience of Ryan and his family. Their motto of taking things “One. Day. At. A. Time.” was a steady mantra amidst the chaos of chemotherapy treatments, infection complications, recovery, and preparation for his bone marrow transplant.

The postcard project had miraculously achieved its aim – Ryan’s spirits were lifted by the cards received, and he began to talk and engage with others. The chapter also highlights Ryan’s resolve to attend an annual weeklong cancer camp, Special Love’s Camp Fantastic, reiterating his determination and will to live.

Overall, “The Postcard Project” exemplifies the healing power of collective goodwill and how a small act of kindness can have far-reaching impacts.

Why was The Postcard Project Important for Ryan and Our Family?

The response generated by CGPT brought me great gratitude for the idea happening. It reminded me that Ryan and our family were immensely blessed with the overwhelming response that supported him throughout the summer of 2004 and his trip to and treatment at Duke University Medical Center in October 2004 until we returned to Maryland in March 2005. A couple of boxes of unopened cards traveled with us. Ryan had a consistent available supply of notes that reminded him he was loved, and a vast tribe of supporters was holding him close in their thoughts and prayers.

The reasons suggested by CGPT for the significance of the project were:

  1. Boosted Spirits
  2. Sense of Connection
  3. Restored Communication
  4. Global Support
  5. Distraction from Pain
  6. Family Bonding
  7. Miracle Moments

Each reason suggested was a great observation, and Terri and I would summarize in the same way – if we were able to articulate the thought as concisely as offered by CGPT (and then reworded to our preference).

The response from CGPT (clarified wording to reflect our experience) is below.

The Postcard Project was significant for Ryan and his family for several reasons:

  1. Boosted Spirits: Amidst the painful and exhausting process of treatments and recovery, the postcards served as a source of joy and excitement for Ryan. The sports-themed postcards catered to his interests, and the encouraging messages improved his mood.
  2. Sense of Connection: While Ryan had retreated into silence, the postcards allowed him to maintain a connection with the world outside his hospital room. They served as a non-intrusive way for well-wishers to communicate their support.
  3. Restored Communication: The postcards sparked curiosity and interest in Ryan, encouraging him to start speaking and engaging with others a bit more. Opening up to others was a significant emotional and psychological recovery milestone.
  4. Global Support: The wide-ranging response from people across the globe emphasized the collective goodwill towards Ryan. This universal display of human kindness profoundly impacted his family, giving them hope and strength in challenging times.
  5. Distraction from Pain: The postcards provided Ryan with a much-needed distraction from his painful treatments and the longer-term extensive inpatient treatment process. They served as a pleasant diversion, giving him something to look forward to.
  6. Family Bonding: Collectively experiencing the project brought the family together, providing a shared focus and a sense of solidarity in a stressful and worrying period. It also brought joy and a sense of achievement as Ryan’s spirits improved, and he opened up to communicating more regularly.
  7. Miracle Moments: Unexpected instances, like the nurse at Duke University Medical Center who had earlier sent Ryan a postcard, ending up as his caregiver during his bone marrow transplant. The nurse event is one example of several emotional moments of wonder and joy experienced by the family.

I am pleased with ChatGPT’s assistance in summarizing Chapter 19, The Postcard Project. The result articulates the power of what the project brought to Ryan and our family. I hope others will be inspired to be creative and seek help and support. The response and success of the project made a difference for Ryan!

Postcard Puzzle – Happy 10th Birthday
2004 – Ryan Tomoff – Louisiana Tech Women’s Basketball Staff
2004 – Ryan Tomoff – St. Johns Men’s Soccer
Ryan Tomoff – Brazil Soccer Jersey

Beyond Quick Wins: Building a Lifestyle for Sustainable Success

Overview

This blog post is inspired by James Clear’s May 25, 2023, 3-2-1 newsletter, which emphasizes that lasting achievements are a result of a lifestyle rather than isolated efforts. I share a few of my personal experiences to highlight the power of consistent, dedicated actions over time. Examples include a history of distance running, adopting an early adopter mindset toward technology, a five-year planking challenge, daily reading of stoic meditations, and joining a writing platform. These habits have been integrated into my life, and I hope these demonstrate how showing up and working every day can lead to significant improvements and fulfillment over time.

Featured image: 3L’s of Self-Directed Learning visual credit to Tanmay Vora at qaspire.com

Full Blog Post

I have previously written that a favorite part of my reading process is James Clear’s 3-2-1 newsletter he publishes weekly on Thursday. When reading his thoughts for May 25, 2023, I was stopped by a thought that was short yet undeniably true.

James was making the point that daily efforts are not going to result in noticeable improvements. However, consistent effort daily WILL bring improvement over the long haul of life. His thought shared:

“Just because improvements aren’t visible doesn’t mean they aren’t happening.

You’re not going to see the number change each time you step on the scale. You’re not going to finish a chapter each time you sit down to write.

Early wins come easy. Lasting wins require a lifestyle.”

Don and I have shared superpowers throughout life and have been disciplined in showing up, over and over, through the long run of YEARS. Small, dedicated, consistent efforts, repeated as a fabric of your lifestyle, will be rewarding. Period. Every athlete or person focused on personal development understands the compounding effects of the drip, drip, drip, showing up and doing some work every day. In our lives, examples of activities that are part of our lifestyle fabric include:

  1. High school, college, and post-college years of competitive distance running. Our dedication to preparation and being our best to compete paid off for running, and the process changed our perspective on how we approach everything important in our lives. The rewards of our distance running careers were gratifying, yet the lifetime gift of understanding the value of relentless consistent preparation was unimaginable.
  2. Adoption of an early adopter mindset throughout our careers. We were, and are, curious about technology tools (what an incredible time for a business career!) and how to leverage the tools in our work. Repeatedly, we would select the “road less traveled” and could be found playing around with tech tools while our peers were out having fun on a Saturday night (for example) or late into the evening after the traditional workday had ended. Investing in ourselves, with our time and personal resources, was a lifestyle that “walked after us.”
  3. March 25, 2018 – we started a 30-day planking challenge, and the commitment stuck. Today, on May 26, 2023, we have completed over five consecutive years of planking (almost 1,900 days). Low-back muscle spasm problems have vastly improved thanks to the daily, do-not-miss habit that is now a lifestyle for us. “I have to do a plank” has evolved to “I GET to do a plank.”
  4. On January 1, 2020, I began a journey of reading The Daily Stoic Meditations each morning. I am now in my fourth year of reading the book – one meditation a day for each day of the year. In addition, I have added additional books for meditation to my morning reading routine. I currently read seven different books of daily meditations, which have become a non-negotiable 30 to 45-minute start to each day. I am an improved person for investing this time in myself every morning.
  5. June 8, 2020 – Terri and I joined an Akimbo Writing in Community platform – a six-month session – and have joined every subsequent session. We are now on a similar platform, Brainstorm Road, and have exceeded one thousand days of consecutive writing. The process, and the wonderful, generous, and talented people we have met, have enhanced our lives. The “lens through which we view life” has become more sharpened and appreciative.

The above list are examples and is not all-inclusive. We create habits in our lives around our highest priorities. These habits are a lifestyle.

What is a priority in your life that would benefit from your showing up and doing the work every day?

Bill Tomoff with The Daily Stoic book and Companion Reflection Journal