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The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Social Media Optimism: Celebrating Rajesh Setty – A Story of Connection and Growth

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

Social media often gets a bad rap, but my twin Don and I have discovered its immense potential for learning, connection, and personal growth. As James Clear recently noted, we experience what we expect to see – and our optimistic approach to social media since 2010 has proven remarkably rewarding.

One shining example is Rajesh Setty, whom I discovered in 2020 through a mutual connection, Tanmay Vora. Rajesh embodies what’s best about social media – he’s a prolific author, entrepreneur, and wisdom-sharer who believes success and fulfillment come from generosity and helping others. While we’ve never met in person, his daily insights on LinkedIn have become a source of inspiration and growth.

We view Rajesh as a “possibility trafficker” who, through generosity and kindness, plants seeds of opportunity and progress rather than dwelling on problems. His background includes founding multiple companies, writing 18 books, and creating thousands of “Napkinsights” – bite-sized wisdom that fits on a napkin.

Rajesh is one shining example of where social media has exceeded our early expectations from 2010, proving that with the right mindset, these platforms can be powerful tools for connection, personal development and meaningful relationships.

Full Original Writing

Don and I have relished using social media for learning, helping others, engagement, and connection. As James Clear noted in his weekly 3-2-1 Newsletter from October 31, 2024, you will experience what you expect to see.

“If you look for evidence that people are conspiring to hold you back and the world is working against you, then it will take you no time at all to find precisely that.

If you expect to encounter helpful people and experience a world that is working with you, then you find plenty of evidence to support that view as well.

The raw material for a sweet life or a bitter life is always there. The story you emphasize is the one you notice.”

Around 2010, we sensed that social media had the potential to positively impact our lives thanks to the ability to connect online with people around the world. We could not understand the depth or potential we would experience over the next 14 years. Yet, our sense of going forward with a mindset of possibility and “people are good” ultimately became a self-fulfilling prophecy. We saw an opportunity to learn from and help others, and we leaned into gently moving forward as we figured out the nuances of the new world we now had at our fingertips.

Today, I am shining the light on and celebrating a connection who is an incredibly caring and inspiring human being. We have not met in person, but his wisdom, consistent generosity, and desire to help others grow are an example and standard Don and I look up to. This person is Rajesh Setty. He leads with tremendous compassion and care for helping others.

Soon after the pandemic started in March 2020, I discovered Rajesh when he was working on his book Six Foot World. After seeing a post I shared on Twitter, another connection, Tanmay Vora, sent me a direct message, sharing that Rajesh was his friend and mentor. His encouragement led me to more actively follow Rajesh, and I have found Rajesh to be a genius thinker who believes success and fulfillment are tied to our willingness to be generous, kind, and helpful to others. This is a beautiful example of how social media can work, connecting people for genuine learning and connection!

Who is Rajesh? Please check out his “About” bio on LinkedIn for his background, but here is a portion of his highlights:

“My passion is to bring good and game-changing ideas to life with love.

My heart sings when an idea in my world comes to life that makes the world outside a better place to live. It could be a startup, a book, a framework, a speech, a course or a work of art – I have experimented with all of them. I have failed a LOT of times, learned from every single one of those failures and, because of that, I have also succeeded a few times on all the categories.

Starting 2000, I have been part of the founding teams of several companies (10x) in the technology and publishing space. Couple of them have got an exit, couple of them have reached the startup graveyard and the rest are making progress. The latest venture Audvisor (www.audvisor.com) is a mobile audio streaming app for micro-podcasts from over 125 world-class experts. We have over 3,000 micro-podcasts on more than a dozen topics on personal and professional growth.

Starting 1983, I have written and published several books (18x) with my first book published at the age of thirteen. Books include four murder mysteries, a collection of poems, a book on mathematics, several business books and two books on how to make people think. I also maintain a blog with close to 2,000 blog posts and have contributed to Huffington Post, VentureBeat, Sandhill.com, Yourstory.com and Salesforce.com.

Starting 2016, I have created around 2500 Napkinsights ( Napkinsight = an insight that can fit on a paper napkin ). i have also created a box of 101 uniquely designed thank you cards, two playing card decks where every card has a mini saga (a story in exactly 50 words each) and more.”

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Rajesh shares much of his content on LinkedIn and has created a historical log of his posts called “Thinking in Progress: Rajesh Setty’s writings on LinkedIn.“

I look forward to Rajesh’s daily drop of wisdom and encouragement. A recent share on October 30, 2024 is a beautiful example to share [Bold emphasis is mine]:

Beware of “Problem Traffickers” and Embrace “Possibility Traffickers”

We all know drug trafficking is harmful, but there’s a less obvious form of trafficking that can be just as toxic: problem trafficking. These individuals constantly introduce problems into your mind space—problems you can’t solve and they aren’t solving either. They insist on making these issues a focal point of your attention and demand your engagement, often using guilt or virtue signaling to keep you invested. This form of mental hijacking wastes your precious time and energy, leaving you distracted from addressing meaningful challenges where you can actually make a difference.

“Problem traffickers” excel at framing every discussion around why a particular problem needs urgent attention. They pull you into circular debates or endless analysis, preventing you from taking decisive action on issues within your control. It’s not that the problems they raise are entirely irrelevant, but their intention is not to solve them—just to endlessly discuss and amplify them. This not only drains your energy but also erodes your sense of agency over time.

On the flip side, there’s a small group of rare and valuable people known as “possibility traffickers.” These individuals are intentional about planting seeds of opportunity and progress. They are the ones who inspire action by focusing on what’s possible rather than what’s broken. Possibility traffickers don’t ignore problems; instead, they reframe them into opportunities for growth and improvement. Their presence is energizing and transformative, shifting your mindset towards constructive thinking.

Cherish those few “possibility traffickers” in your life—they are the people who help you see beyond limitations and encourage you to pursue meaningful change. They are the true catalysts for growth and progress in a world crowded with distractions.

Rajesh is most definitely a “possibility trafficker!”

Thank you, Rajesh, for consistently embodying what generosity and wisdom-sharing can look like online and in real life. Your insights, thought-provoking wisdom, and genuine desire to help others grow have created ripples of positive impact. You are showing that world that social media can be a powerful force for good when approached with intention and kindness. For anyone seeking to grow personally and professionally, Don and I strongly encourage you to follow Rajesh and explore his extensive body of work. His example highlights what is possible, reminding us that generously sharing our gifts with others can be transformative. Believe.

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To learn more about Rajesh, below are several resources that I have shared often. Follow his content for guaranteed inspiration, perspective-shifting, and personal growth if you embrace his encouragement. I hope you find his insights as valuable as Don and I do!

  1. Website – https://rajeshsetty.com/
  2. LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/rajesh301/
  3. Skip Lineberg‘s The Main Thing podcast:
  4. Rajesh’s newest book ‘Unshaken.’ See Advance praise below, from two of my favorite authors (Seth Godin and Tom Peters)!
  5. For a complete list of Rajesh’s wisdom shared on LinkedIn, bookmark this link in your web browser – Thinking in Progress
  6. A talk about Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time. A sentiment he shares is now one I reflect on often – “A life-changing gift deserves a lifetime of gratitude.” Any success in my life has resulted from help from others, and I am now very intentional to be grateful and express my appreciation for others and the help that has come through my life.
  7. Regarding the use of social media, Rajesh reminds us that whether we actively choose (or not) to have a presence on social media, we are making a choice. Often, before a person meets you in real life, they will search for you on the internet. What impression do you make before any IRL meeting? This impression is what Rajesh refers to as The Zero-eth Impression.
  8. I purchased Rajesh’s coffee table book, Napkinsights, in 2023. This book is an inspiring conversation starter.
  9. I purchased and completed Rajesh’s course The Right Hustle: Fine-tuning the Art of Moving the Needle in 2022. The course was tremendous, and I believe everyone can benefit personally and professionally from his ideas. I highly recommend attending this course—and then revisiting it over and over, thanks to the lifetime access that comes with the purchase!
2024 | Bill and Don Tomoff with Napkinsights Coffee Table Book
November 2023 | Napkinsights book by Rajesh Setty

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Book‘Unshaken’ Advance praise:

Seth Godin

Author of This is Marketing

“Here’s my endorsement: ‘I started reading and couldn’t stop. Elaboration: I’ve read scores of thriller blurbs which say ‘Unputdownable.’ I don’t think I had ever experienced literal unputdownableism until I read Raj’s book. I didn’t ‘learn from’ UNSHAKEN. What happened was that I was deeply affected. It caused reflection and smiles and frowns and discomfort and comfort. That’s the greatest possible praise, right?”

Tom Peters

Author of The Excellence Dividend and many other bestsellers

“‘Unshaken’ is Rajesh’s unwillingness to be defeated. Faced with serious challenges, he still has the grace to take it on the chin. It is nothing short of inspiring to see Rajesh turning problems into opportunities, and in the process, give us the simplest lesson of all. No matter what, keep moving.”

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Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time (21 minutes)

At about 4:30, don’t miss “Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude.”

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The Zero-eth Impression (5 minutes)

Visual | Rajesh Setty Zero-eth Impression
November 2024 | Rajesh Setty on LinkedIn
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The Eye of the Tiger: A Tale of Twin Brothers and One Unforgettable Marathon

Please note that this document results from a discussion between Bill and Don Tomoff and an iterative approach to using AI Large Language Models (LLMs) through original writing and answering a thorough 35-question deep dive Q&A to help provide greater insight into the twins’ efforts toward their 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon. This final result is a collaboration with Claude AI.

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NotebookLM Audio Link (10 minutes)

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Key Takeaways

1. The Power of Shared Goals

The unique dynamic of being twins created an unparalleled training advantage. Living together and working similar schedules, Bill and Don created a natural accountability system that enhanced their preparation. Their shared commitment amplified their efforts, demonstrating how having the right training partner can multiply success.

2. Preparation Meets Opportunity

The brothers’ success wasn’t just about race day performance—it was the culmination of years of disciplined training, including their college running experience in the hilly terrain of Athens, Ohio. When perfect weather conditions arrived on race day, they were ready to capitalize on the opportunity because of their thorough years of preparation and experience.

3. The Value of Experience

Having completed multiple previous marathons, both brothers brought valuable knowledge to their approach. Bill’s consistent finishes and Don’s learning experiences from DNFs contributed to their strategic wisdom. They understood the importance of pacing, hydration, and mental preparation—crucial in their peak performance.

4. Strategic Patience

Their race execution demonstrated the importance of disciplined pacing and strategic patience. Targeting negative splits and maintaining steady communication throughout the race showed how controlling early enthusiasm can lead to stronger finishing performances. Their ability to run together for 23 miles exemplified this strategic approach.

5. The Impact of Support Systems

Family, friends, and colleagues played crucial roles in their success. From pre-race family dinners to race-day supporters along the course to professional recognition afterward, their achievement was enhanced by a community that understood and celebrated their efforts. This highlights how personal achievements often rely on a broader support network.

6. The Role of Timing in Life

At age 24, the twins recognized and seized an opportune moment—when they had the freedom to dedicate themselves fully to training while building their professional careers. This teaches the importance of recognizing and maximizing such windows of opportunity.

7. Transferable Skills

The discipline and resilience developed through their running journey transferred directly to their professional lives and personal challenges. The “I can do hard things” mindset they developed proved valuable in their accounting careers and in facing life’s unexpected challenges, such as Bill’s son Ryan’s battle with cancer.

8. The Power of Incremental Progress

Don’s journey from a high school pole vaulter to running a 2:30:34 marathon demonstrates how consistent effort and gradual improvement can lead to remarkable achievements. His seven-minute improvement in the marathon shows that significant breakthroughs are possible through dedicated training.

9. Mental Toughness

Their ability to maintain focus and execution during the crucial final miles of the marathon, especially after separating at mile 23, demonstrated the mental fortitude they had developed. This mental toughness, forged through years of training and competition, proved valuable beyond their running careers.

10. The Legacy of Achievement

Their performance that day created a lasting legacy that continues to inspire. The achievement wasn’t just about the times they ran—it was about the broader lesson that ambitious goals can be achieved with proper preparation, unwavering dedication, and strong support. Their story demonstrates how a single day of excellence can provide inspiration and lessons for decades.

These takeaways illustrate that the 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon was more than just a race—a culmination of preparation, partnership, and perseverance that yielded lessons far beyond the finish line. The Tomoff twins’ experience shows how athletic achievements can provide a foundation for success in all areas of life while highlighting the unique advantages of having a twin brother as a training partner and the importance of a robust support system in achieving ambitious goals.

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May 15, 1983 | Revco-Cleveland Marathon | Bill and Don Tomoff

Complete Document

On a cool, drizzly morning in May 1983, twin brothers Bill and Don Tomoff stood at the starting line of the Revco-Cleveland Marathon, their hearts pounding with anticipation. The familiar opening riffs of Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” still echoed in their minds from their pre-dawn preparation ritual. Neither brother knew it then, but they were about to experience a defining moment of their competitive running careers—supported by a network of family and friends who had been integral to their journey.

Early Foundations

The Tomoff twins brought unique strengths to their running partnership. In high school, Bill had distinguished himself as an exceptional distance runner, ranking seventh in Ohio in the two-mile run and finishing 31st at the state cross-country meet. His school records in the mile (4:28.9) and two-mile (9:31.5) stood as a testament to his early promise. Don, meanwhile, had pursued a more diverse athletic path, balancing cross-country with pole vaulting during track season. Despite splitting his focus, he consistently performed well, often finishing as the second man on their seven-man varsity team and securing 15th place in the Southwest Conference meet while Bill finished fourth.

Their paths briefly diverged in college when Don initially attended Ohio State University before transferring to Ohio University. NCAA regulations in the 1970s required him to sit out a year from competition after the transfer, though he continued training with the team. During his senior year at OU, Don achieved modest but well-earned success, and in the two years following graduation, he began to come into his own as a distance runner. While he never quite caught up to Bill in road races or marathons, the gap between them had significantly narrowed—a testament to his determination and growth as an athlete.

The Path to the Starting Line

The journey to this pivotal race began a year earlier when Bill completed the 1982 Revco-Cleveland Marathon in 2:30:55. Missing the sub-2:30 mark by less than a minute sparked a fire within him. “Next year, I am going to break 2 hours and 30 minutes!” became more than just a goal—it became an obsession that would shape the next twelve months of both brothers’ lives.

At 24, the Tomoff twins were uniquely positioned to chase this ambitious target. Fresh out of Ohio University with business degrees, they both worked in Big Eight public accounting firms. While their professional careers were demanding, they were still unencumbered by family commitments or other obligations that might have divided their focus. This freedom, combined with their shared living arrangement and identical work schedules, created an ideal environment for serious training.

The Training Regimen

The twins’ preparation for the marathon was comprehensive and disciplined. They initiated a more structured training schedule about ten weeks before race day, targeting 70 miles per week. However, their actual mileage often fluctuated between 60 and 80 miles depending on the week’s demands. Rather than taking complete rest days, they opted for light runs to maintain their rhythm and keep their legs active.

Their training incorporated a mix of longer runs for endurance building and up-tempo and fartlek sessions to vary the pace and incorporate speed. The schedule was designed to build not just mileage but quality in their running. During the busy season at their accounting firms, when they sometimes wouldn’t get home until after 9:00 PM, they still made sure to fit in their runs, even if abbreviated.

The hilly terrain around Athens, Ohio, where they had trained during their college years, had built a foundation of strength that would serve them well on Cleveland’s flat course. While many runners sought flat courses to qualify for Boston, the Tomoff twins knew their hill-trained legs would give them an advantage in maintaining pace over 26.2 miles.

Nutrition and Lifestyle

At 24 years old, their approach to nutrition was straightforward—they ate when hungry, fueling their high-mileage training without overthinking the details. Looking back, they recognize that they might have unlocked even more potential with a more structured approach to nutrition and recovery. However, their youth and natural energy served them well, allowing them to maintain their demanding training and work schedule.

Pre-Race Preparation

The evening before the race followed a familiar pattern: a family gathering for a carb-loading dinner featuring lasagna. This tradition provided physical preparation and a moment of relaxation and connection before the challenge ahead.

Race day began at 5:00 AM, with their signature ritual of playing “Eye of the Tiger.” The song, which had become their anthem during training, now focused their minds on the task ahead. The three-hour window before the 8:00 AM start gave them ample time to prepare physically and mentally. The quiet drive downtown that Sunday morning took only 20 to 30 minutes, but they allowed extra time to ensure a relaxed preparation at the start area.

Race Day Support

The Revco-Cleveland Marathon had evolved into a family tradition, drawing supporters who understood the magnitude of what the twins were attempting. Each year, loved ones would gather along the course, creating islands of encouragement that helped carry the brothers through the challenging miles. Their sister Billie had even ridden her bike alongside them for entire marathons in previous years, providing companionship and moral support that made the miles seem shorter.

The twins’ support system extended beyond family. Friends and former teammates who understood the demands of distance running came out to cheer them on, creating an atmosphere of shared excitement and anticipation. These supporters lined the streets of Cleveland, particularly along Euclid Avenue, during the final mile, adding an electric energy to the race’s conclusion.

The Race Strategy

Having completed ten previous marathons each, the brothers brought considerable experience to their race strategy. Bill had successfully finished his previous attempts, while Don had learned valuable lessons from a couple of DNFs (Did Not Finish). Their plan was methodical: maintain open communication in the early miles, discuss pace and strategy while taking advantage of every hydration station, and alternate between water and Gatorade.

The goal was to run negative splits—completing the race’s second half faster than the first. This ambitious strategy required patience and discipline, especially in the early miles when fresh legs and race-day adrenaline could tempt them to push too hard too soon.

The Race Unfolds

As the race began, perfect conditions prevailed—cool and damp, ideal for marathon running. The familiar landmarks of their hometown course rolled by: Lake Road through Rocky River and Bay Village, the Detroit-Superior Bridge, and the streets of downtown Cleveland. The first half went according to plan, with the twins crossing the halfway point at 1:14:40, on target for their goal.

For 23 miles, they ran shoulder to shoulder, their synchronized footfalls a testament to years of training together. Their communication remained steady, though it became more focused as the miles accumulated. They knew they had no margin for error if they wanted to break 2:30.

Then, at mile 23, came the pivotal moment. “I have to back this pace down a bit,” Don said. Bill’s response was immediate and focused: “We have no room to spare to bring this home under 2:30.” With those words, the brothers separated, each running their separate race to the finish.

The Final Push

The crowd’s energy intensified as Bill approached the finish line on East 22nd Street. Among the cheering supporters, he heard a familiar voice. His college friend Bob Mirth called out, “You’ve come too far now—kick it into the finish!” That encouragement, from someone who deeply understood the moment’s significance, provided the final surge of energy Bill needed.

Bill crossed the finish line at 2:29:48, achieving his dream of breaking 2:30. Just 46 seconds later, Don finished at 2:30:34, demolishing his previous personal best by approximately seven minutes. It was a stunning achievement for both brothers—Bill had shaved 1:07 off his previous best, while Don had improved by nearly seven minutes.

Professional Recognition

The following Monday at Coopers & Lybrand, Bill received an unexpected phone call from Bill Reidy, a long-time partner. Reidy, a runner himself, called specifically to congratulate Bill on his performance. This recognition from a respected senior partner, someone who truly understood the magnitude of their achievement, added another layer of satisfaction to their accomplishment. It demonstrated how their discipline and dedication to running were noticed and valued even in their professional lives.

Looking Forward

The success of the 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon had an unexpected bonus for Bill—his sub-2:30 time guaranteed his acceptance into the New York City Marathon that October, adding another significant chapter to his running journey. However, both brothers were beginning to transition their focus to their professional careers fully. While running remained a passion, their competitive racing careers were entering their final phase.

Legacy

The 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon became more than just another race for the Tomoff twins. It was a testament to the power of shared dedication, disciplined preparation, and unwavering support—not just from each other but their entire network of family, friends, and colleagues. The experience reinforced their belief that “I can do hard things,” a mindset that would serve them well throughout their lives and careers.

This mindset proved particularly valuable in later years, especially when Bill’s son Ryan was diagnosed with childhood cancer at age two. The resilience and “one day at a time” approach learned through running helped the family face this challenge, as Ryan survived cancer five times over the next 28 years.

The lessons learned through running—particularly about preparation and perseverance—proved invaluable in their professional lives. The ability to stay calm and focused under pressure, developed through years of competitive running, became a crucial asset in their demanding accounting careers. The brothers realized their athletic background had taught them invaluable life lessons about enduring challenging moments, digging deep when things get hard, and maintaining a relentless learning mindset.

More than four decades later, the legend of that cool May morning continues to grow in the brothers’ memories. What seemed at the time like just another day of competition has become a touchstone moment—a perfect confluence of preparation, execution, and support that produced their finest marathon performances.

Bob Mirth’s tragic death in 1991, struck by a drunk driver while returning home from a marathon, adds a bittersweet note to the memory. His encouraging words at the finish line remain a poignant reminder of the power of friendship and support in achieving life’s most challenging goals.

The Eye of the Tiger still burns bright in their memories, a reminder of what can be achieved when dedication meets opportunity, when preparation meets perfect conditions, and when two brothers, supported by a community of family and friends, push each other to reach their absolute best.

For Bill and Don Tomoff, the 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon stands as more than just their fastest race—it represents the pinnacle of what they could achieve together, a testament to the unique advantage of having a twin brother as a training partner, and a reminder that with proper preparation, unwavering dedication, and the support of those who believe in you, dreams can become reality.

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More Than a Match: Two Decades of Life, Love, and Gratitude After Bone Marrow Transplant

November 3, 2004 – a day our family will never forget. Duke University Medical Center at 7:45 PM – Ryan Tomoff begin receiving his bone marrow transplant, thanks to the selfless contribution of a donor in the Be The Match Registry (now known as NMDP – National Marrow Donor Program).

November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Terri, Olivia, Ryan, and Bill

Today, November 3, 2024, our family has the gift of celebrating Ryan’s 20th anniversary since receiving his transplant. Scott Harris, the donor later identified, and we all met on November 4, 2005!

November 4, 2005 | Ryan Tomoff meets donor Scott Harris

Reflecting back, the emotions are overwhelming for the care, compassion, and kindness, received by Ryan and our family. Scott Harris and everyone involved with Ryan’s journey is proof that everyone matters. Everyone makes a difference. On that 2004 morning in New Jersey, Scott went to a hospital to have his bone marrow harvested and sent to Duke. He and we knew none of the details – as 10-year old Ryan and our family waited anxiously in the hospital praying that all the logistics would go as planned.

20 years later, the emotions feel as if this was yesterday. Scott, thank you for your gift of life to Ryan. Our family is grateful for you, the decision you made to contribute, your wife Sarah, and all who supported you in your journey. We are blessed for the gift of life, and we live to pay forward the example of your selfless choice to donate your bone marrow to a stranger. May your action forever inspire others.

Calls to action:

  1. PLEASE join the NMDP registry. YOU may be a lifesaving match for someone!
  2. Who can you thank today for being a gift in your life? Thank and help someone today!

In March 2021, Terri Tomoff wrote her memoir, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey From Mayhem to Miracles, of Ryan and our family’s journey through Ryan’s cancer experiences. The memoir kindle and paperback can be found on Amazon and audio on Spotify or Apple podcasts.

November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Family with Dr. Vinod Prasad
November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Family with Nurse Donna Currie
November 26, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Post Transplant | Ryan and Dr. Aziza Shad
November 4, 2005 | Tomoff Family at Party for Life Donor Meeting | New York City
November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day Certificate
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The Reckless Choice: Why Avoiding Personal Growth Is More Dangerous Than You Think

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

In October 2024, an inspiring book launch event for Seth Godin’s “This is Strategy” sparked a profound reflection on personal development and the consequences of our choices. The event’s moderator, Bina Venkataraman, author of “The Optimist’s Telescope,” introduced a compelling perspective on reckless decision-making that resonated deeply.

The post challenges conventional thinking about personal growth, arguing that not investing in continuous learning isn’t just unwise—it’s reckless. Drawing on four decades of witnessing transformative technological advances, from personal computers to generative AI, the authors emphasize how unprecedented opportunities for learning and development are now accessible to virtually everyone.

The #TwinzTalk message is questioned – from their usual gentle reminder about staying relevant through continuous learning to a more urgent wake-up call. They assert that in today’s rapidly changing world, ignoring opportunities for personal development is careless and harmful to individual potential and broader societal contributions.

The piece concludes with a passionate plea for readers to embrace personal development, starting with small steps but maintaining consistency. It’s framed not just as self-improvement but as a responsibility to maximize one’s positive impact on the world. The message is punctuated by two powerful quotes emphasizing the importance of giving your best while maintaining humility—a balanced approach to serious personal development.

Full Original Writing

On Monday evening, October 28, 2024, my wife Terri and I attended a book launch event at the Sixth and I Synagogue in Washington, DC. The event was a celebration and discussion of Seth Godin’s latest book “This is Strategy.” The conversation, audience, and book signing made for an inspiring and memorable evening!

October 28, 2024 at Sixth and I | Bina Venkataraman and Seth Godin

The moderator for the evening was Bina Venkataraman, who did an incredible job guiding the discussion with Seth. Seth shined the light on Bina’s book “The Optimist’s Telescope: Thinking Ahead in a Reckless Age.” Thanks to Seth’s encouragement, I purchased Bina’s book on Amazon (Kindle $4.99!) and started reading the next day.

In the introduction to her book, Bina makes a compelling point about reckless decisions that we all make:

“This book is about the decisions we make as individuals and collectively that have great consequences for our lives and the lives of others, the decisions we may come to regret or celebrate. It is especially about decisions that are reckless—when we ignore clear signs of opportunity or danger in the future. Through close investigation of such decisions across many contexts, I have discovered the untapped power we have to make wiser choices.” [Bold emphasis is mine].

In our #TwinzTalk encouragement about personal development and the imperative that we all must consistently invest in ourselves (for our own growth and then our ability to contribute to helping others), Don and I often follow our encouragement with “The choice is yours. Consistently be learning and growing, or become irrelevant in the long run.” After reading and contemplating the above paragraph from Bina, I could not help but ask myself, “Are we being too gentle with our encouragement?“

“It is especially about decisions that are reckless—when we ignore clear signs of opportunity or danger in the future.”

Definition per Merriam-Webster:

“reckless: marked by lack of proper caution : careless of consequences”

When an individual decides to forgo continuous learning, developing their skills, and minimizing their potential to make a more meaningful contribution in the world, is this decision reckless? Don and I would argue inaction or dismissal IS reckless. An aspect of our careers that we treasure is the gift and privilege of being born into a time in history that has provided technological innovations and advances that have enhanced our personal and professional lives. Over the past 40 years (!), we have witnessed countless “game changing” technologies that have evolved to individually affordable and indispensable tools, such as:

  • Personal computers,
  • Spreadsheets,
  • The internet,
  • Working in digital environments (PDF),
  • Note taking apps (Evernote),
  • Social media to learn from, engage with, and generously share our expertise with others,
  • Cloud storage (Box, Dropbox, Google Drive, etc.),
  • Collaboration platforms to allow more transparent communication and minimize email use (Slack and Microsoft Teams),
  • Online learning (often free – YouTube, LinkedIn Learning, Coursera, Udemy, Khan Academy, etc.), and now…
  • Generative AI (ChatGPT, Claude AI, Google Gemini and NotebookLM, and Perplexity, to name a few).

If you are not engaging with and educating yourself about our rapidly changing world, Don and I will now argue that this is an individual decision that is reckless. This is how strongly we feel about the importance of relentless personal development.

What is most important in your world, and how can you start/keep moving forward on a daily basis? Start small, but start. You deserve to be the best you are capable of being and the world needs your best contributions. Please.

A few thoughts to reflect upon regularly:

“Take what you do seriously. Do not take yourself seriously.” -Twinz Bill and Don Tomoff

“To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift.” -Steve Prefontaine

Steve Prefontaine Quote | To give anything less than your best

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The 8-Minute AI Miracle: NotebookLM Technology Created an Audio Conversation of the Tomoff Twinz Story

A theme #TwinzTalk Don and I have lived by throughout our lives is “always be preparing.” This means embracing learning and personal development—for ourselves and to help those in our lives—and encouraging those in our lives to do the same.

“Luck is when preparation meets opportunity”

-Seneca

I prompted ChatGPT to interpret and explain the quote further. The response is worth sharing and is included at the conclusion of this post.

Opportunities will present themselves in our lives in unimagined ways. We should continually ask ourselves, “In my areas of interests/responsibilities, am I diligently and consistently working to be prepared to the best of my abilities?” The example discussed below could not have been imagined a mere five years ago!

A recent evolution in the GenAI arena is Google’s NotebookLM. Conor Grennan, Chief AI Architect at the NYU Stern School of Business, noted this in a recent LinkedIn post:

“I have had exactly three (3) jaw-dropping AI moments over the past 18 months. One of them just happened.”

“3. Google’s NotebookLM

This was just in the past week.

This is one of these things where you have to hear it to believe it. You’ve probably heard how it can create realistic sounding podcasts out of long boring documents, with two people speaking.

But it REALLY SOUNDS like two people are talking. I’m not going to try to explain it, because that would be like trying to explain how cool a card trick was.

Go to the website, you can try it for free. Or don’t, I don’t care. But unless you experience it, you don’t get it.

What this changed for me was a new way of absorbing information. People love podcasts for a reason – they’re easier to digest and learn from than long research documents.”

**

An opportunity for a use case of NotebookLM came to my mind when talking with Don about the hype and potential to consider trying out this new AI evolution. Since June 2020, my wife Terri and I have been active writers. I have written four unpublished memoirs. My fourth memoir was a gift to Don, titled Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes.

Using NotebookLM, I uploaded a PDF of the memoir (77 pages) and requested an Audio Overview. In only a couple of minutes, an audio file of less than eight minutes was provided. Preparation met an unimaginable opportunity, and the result was jaw-dropping! Preparation (I had a 77-page memoir in PDF format) met opportunity (the availability of the AI audio capability in NotebookLM), which resulted in the luck of generating a priceless AI audio overview conversation about the memoir! Don and I were stunned by the result.

Check out the audio here.

I encourage you to listen to the audio conversation if you are interested in learning more about our lifelong adventure as twin brothers with similar interests. We believe the overview beautifully summarizes the unpublished memoir I wrote and gifted to Don in December 2023.

**

ChatGPT Interpretation and Explanation of Seneca’s Quote

The quote by Seneca, “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity,” underscores a fundamental Stoic belief that what often appears to be “luck” is not purely a matter of chance, but rather a result of one’s readiness to act when the right moment arises.

Stoic Interpretation

  1. Preparation as a Foundation: In Stoicism, preparation is within our control—it involves cultivating wisdom, developing our skills, and continuously striving to improve ourselves. This prepares us for future challenges or opportunities that are outside our control. Seneca suggests that we should not passively wait for luck but actively engage in self-improvement to be ready for any situation that may come.
  2. Opportunity and External Events: Opportunity often arrives unexpectedly and is not something we can control. However, Stoics believe that by staying vigilant and practicing awareness, we can recognize these moments when they appear. Since the Stoics valued rational action, being prepared means we can seize the opportunity and respond in a way that aligns with our values.
  3. Luck as a Blend of Control and Acceptance: The Stoic view on luck is that it’s not entirely random but a combination of being prepared (which we can control) and recognizing the external opportunities (which we cannot control). To Seneca, this is why what many see as “luck” is simply the outcome of consistent preparation over time.

By understanding that our “luck” is often rooted in our preparedness, Seneca emphasizes personal responsibility and focusing on what we can control. This aligns with the Stoic principle of living a life where we proactively build our capacity to respond effectively to the world.

Key Takeaway

This quote invites us to see ourselves as active participants in creating “luck” by being prepared and vigilant. Rather than waiting for chance, the Stoic approach is to live with purpose and readiness so that when opportunity strikes, we’re positioned to make the most of it.

September 9, 2024 | ncaCPA Fall Conference | #TwinzTalk Don and Bill Tomoff
#TwinzTalk Encouragement – Always be learning and do your best!

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Learn, Educate, Elevate, Respect: A Comedian’s Advice for Lifelong Success

This post is H/T to James Clear and his Thursday weekly 3-2-1 newsletter dated October 3, 2024. James highlights:

“2 QUOTES FROM OTHERS

I.

Musician and comedian Tim Minchin on sharing what you know:

“Even if you’re not a teacher, be a teacher. Share your ideas. Don’t take for granted your education. Rejoice in what you learn and spray it.”

Source: 9 Life Lessons“

This aligns with the encouragement that #TwinzTalk Don and I share in our personal development work. Relentlessly prioritize and dedicate time to learning and growing your skills – then help others learn. “Spray it.”

Following James’s link led to a commencement address given by Tim Minchin in 2013 at the University of Western Australia. I enjoyed reading the full transcript, and several of Tim’s points resonated.

**

Below, I provide the highlights enjoyed, but I also highly recommend watching the full commencement address or reading the full transcript. Highlights for me included:

Tip three:

“Remember it’s all luck.”

“Understanding that you can’t truly take credit for your successes nor truly blame others for their failures will humble you and make you more compassionate.”

Tip five:

“We must think critically and not just about the ideas of others. Be hard on your beliefs. Take them out onto the verandah and hit them with a cricket bat. Be intellectually rigorous. Identify your biases, your prejudices, your privileges.”

Tip six:

“Even if you’re not a teacher, be a teacher. Share your ideas. Don’t take for granted your education. Rejoice in what you learn and spray it.”

Tip seven:

“We have a tendency to define ourselves in opposition to stuff. As a comedian I make my living out of it. But try to also express your passion for things you love. Be demonstrative and generous in your praise of those you admire. Send thank you cards and give standing ovations. Be pro stuff not just anti stuff.”

Tip eight:

“Respect people with less power than you. I have in the past made important decisions about people I work with – agents and producers – big decisions based largely on how they treat the wait staff in the restaurants we’re having the meeting in. I don’t care if you’re the most powerful cat in the room, I will judge you on how you treat the least powerful.”

**

Speech Transcript

In darker days I did a corporate gig at a conference for this big company who made and sold accounting software in a bid, I presumed, to inspire their salespeople to greater heights. They’d forked out 12 grand for an inspirational speaker who was this extreme sports guy who had had a couple of his limbs frozen off when he got stuck on a ledge on some mountain. It was weird. Software salespeople I think need to hear from someone who has had a long successful career in software sales not from an overly optimistic ex-mountaineer. Some poor guy who had arrived in the morning hoping to learn about sales techniques ended up going home worried about the blood flow to his extremities. It’s not inspirational, it’s confusing. And if the mountain was meant to be a symbol of life’s challenges and the loss of limbs a metaphor for sacrifice, the software guy’s not going to get it, is he? Because he didn’t do an Arts degree, did he? He should have.

Arts degrees are awesome and they help you find meaning where there is none. And let me assure you… there is none. Don’t go looking for it. Searching for meaning is like searching for a rhymes scheme in a cookbook. You won’t find it and it will bugger up your soufflé. If you didn’t like that metaphor you won’t like the rest of it. Point being I’m not an inspirational speaker. I’ve never ever lost a limb on a mountainside metaphorically or otherwise and I’m certainly not going to give career advice because, well I’ve never really had what most would consider a job. However I have had large groups of people listening to what I say for quite a few years now and it’s given me an inflated sense of self importance.

So I will now, at the ripe old age of 37.9, bestow upon you nine life lessons– to echo of course the nine lessons of carols of the traditional Christmas service, which is also pretty obscure.

You might find some of this stuff inspiring. You will definitely find some of it boring and you will definitely forget all of it within a week. And be warned there will be lots of hokey similes and obscure aphorisms which start well but end up making no sense. So listen up or you’ll get lost like a blind man clapping in a pharmacy trying to echo-locate the contact lens fluid.

Looking for my old poetry teacher. Here we go, ready?

One: You don’t have to have a dream. Americans on talent shows always talk about their dreams. Fine if you have something you’ve always wanted to do, dreamed of, like in your heart, go for it. After all it’s something to do with your time, chasing a dream. And if it’s a big enough one it’ll take you most of your life to achieve so by the time you get to it and are staring into the abyss of the meaningless of your achievement you’ll be almost dead so it won’t matter.

I never really had one of these dreams and so I advocate passionate, dedication to the pursuit of short-term goals. Be micro-ambitious. Put your head down and work with pride on whatever is in front of you. You never know where you might end up. Just be aware the next worthy pursuit will probably appear in your periphery, which is why you should be careful of long-term dreams. If you focus too far in front of you you won’t see the shiny thing out the corner of your eye. Right? Good! Advice metaphor… look at me go.

Two: Don’t seek happiness. Happiness is like an orgasm. If you think about it too much it goes away. Keep busy and aim to make someone else happy and you might find you get some as a side effect. We didn’t evolve to be constantly content. Contented Homo Erectus got eaten before passing on their genes.

Three: Remember it’s all luck. You are lucky to be here. You are incalculably lucky to be born and incredibly lucky to be brought up by a nice family who encouraged you to go to uni. Or if you were born into a horrible family that’s unlucky and you have my sympathy but you are still lucky. Lucky that you happen to be made of the sort of DNA that went on to make the sort of brain which when placed in a horrible child environment would make decisions that meant you ended up eventually graduated uni. Well done you for dragging yourself up by your shoelaces. But you were lucky. You didn’t create the bit of you that dragged you up. They’re not even your shoelaces.

I suppose I worked hard to achieve whatever dubious achievements I’ve achieved but I didn’t make the bit of me that works hard any more than I made the bit of me that ate too many burgers instead of attending lectures when I was here at UWA. Understanding that you can’t truly take credit for your successes nor truly blame others for their failures will humble you and make you more compassionate. Empathy is intuitive. It is also something you can work on intellectually.

Four: Exercise. I’m sorry you pasty, pale, smoking philosophy grads arching your eyebrows into a Cartesian curve as you watch the human movement mob winding their way through the miniature traffic cones of their existence. You are wrong and they are right. Well you’re half right. You think therefore you are but also you jog therefore you sleep therefore you’re not overwhelmed by existential angst. You can’t be can’t and you don’t want to be. Play a sport. Do yoga, pump iron, and run, whatever but take care of your body, you’re going to need it. Most of you mob are going to live to nearly 100 and even the poorest of you will achieve a level of wealth that most humans throughout history could not have dreamed of. And this long, luxurious life ahead of you is going to make you depressed. But don’t despair. There is correlation between depression and exercise. Do it! Run, my beautiful intellectuals run.

Five: Be hard on your opinions. A famous bon mot asserts, opinions are like assholes in that everyone has one. There is great wisdom in this but I would add that opinions differ significantly from assholes in that yours should be constantly and thoroughly examined. I used to do exams in here… It’s revenge.

We must think critically and not just about the ideas of others. Be hard on your beliefs. Take them out onto the verandah and hit them with a cricket bat. Be intellectually rigorous. Identify your biases, your prejudices, your privileges. Most of society is kept alive by a failure to acknowledge nuance. We tend to generate false dichotomies and then try to argue one point using two entirely different sets of assumptions. Like two tennis players trying to win a match by hitting beautifully executed shots from either end of separate tennis courts.

By the way, while I have science and arts graduates in front of me please don’t make the mistake of thinking the arts and sciences are at odds with one another. That is a recent, stupid and damaging idea. You don’t have to be unscientific to make beautiful art, to write beautiful things. If you need proof – Twain, Douglas Adams, Vonnegut, McEwan, Sagan and Shakespeare, Dickens for a start. You don’t need to be superstitious to be a poet. You don’t need to hate GM technology to care about the beauty of the planet. You don’t have to claim a soul to promote compassion. Science is not a body of knowledge nor a belief system it’s just a term which describes human kinds’ incremental acquisition of understanding through observation. Science is awesome! The arts and sciences need to work together to improve how knowledge is communicated. The idea that many Australians including our new PM and my distant cousin Nick Minchin believe that the science of anthropogenic global warming is controversial is a powerful indicator of the extent of our failure to communicate. The fact that 30 percent of the people just bristled is further evidence still. The fact that that bristling is more to do with politics than science is even more despairing.

Six: Be a teacher! Please! Please! Please be a teacher. Teachers are the most admirable and important people in the world. You don’t have to do it forever but if you’re in doubt about what to do be an amazing teacher. Just for your 20s be a teacher. Be a primary school teacher. Especially if you’re a bloke. We need male primary school teachers. Even if you’re not a teacher, be a teacher. Share your ideas. Don’t take for granted your education. Rejoice in what you learn and spray it.

Seven: Define yourself by what you love. I found myself doing this thing a bit recently where if someone asks me what sort of music I like I say, “Well I don’t listen to the radio because pop song lyrics annoy me,” or if someone asks me what food I like I say, “I think truffle oil is overused and slightly obnoxious.” And I see it all the time online – people whose idea of being part of a subculture is to hate Coldplay or football or feminists or the Liberal Party.

We have a tendency to define ourselves in opposition to stuff. As a comedian I make my living out of it. But try to also express your passion for things you love. Be demonstrative and generous in your praise of those you admire. Send thank you cards and give standing ovations. Be pro stuff not just anti stuff.

Eight: Respect people with less power than you. I have in the past made important decisions about people I work with – agents and producers – big decisions based largely on how they treat the wait staff in the restaurants we’re having the meeting in. I don’t care if you’re the most powerful cat in the room, I will judge you on how you treat the least powerful. So there!

Nine: Finally, don’t rush. You don’t need to know what you’re going to do with the rest of your life. I’m not saying sit around smoking cones all day but also don’t panic! Most people I know who were sure of their career path at 20 are having mid-life crises now.

I said at the beginning of this ramble, which is already three-and-a-half minutes long, life is meaningless. It was not a flippant assertion. I think it’s absurd the idea of seeking meaning in the set of circumstances that happens to exist after 13.8 billion years worth of unguided events. Leave it to humans to think the universe has a purpose for them. However I’m no nihilist. I’m not even a cynic. I am actually rather romantic and here’s my idea of romance: you will soon be dead. Life will sometimes seem long and tough and god it’s tiring. And you will sometimes be happy and sometimes sad and then you’ll be old and then you’ll be dead. There is only one sensible thing to do with this empty existence and that is fill it. Not fillet. Fill it. And in my opinion, until I change it, life is best filled by learning as much as you can about as much as you can. Taking pride in whatever you’re doing. Having compassion, sharing ideas, running, being enthusiastic and then there’s love and travel and wine and sex and art and kids and giving and mountain climbing, but you know all that stuff already. It’s an incredibly exciting thing this one meaningless life of yours. Good luck and thank you for indulging me.

Dall-E AI Image | #TwinzTalk Brainstorming and Learning

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The Art of Noticing: Celebrating Unsung Heroes in Our Daily Lives

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

In this post, I reflect on my year-long journey of daily intentional reviews, a practice I started on October 10, 2023. I’ve noticed a significant enhancement in my life appreciation by documenting five key areas daily. One area highlights helping others and shining a light on goodness. I feel more attuned to positive experiences that might have previously gone unnoticed.

I share two recent heartwarming encounters from a family trip to Kentucky and Ohio. The first occurred at KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky, where exceptional customer service prompted me to send a thank-you note. The second was at Home2 Suites By Hilton in Grove City, Ohio, where I acknowledged Bonnie, a breakfast attendant, for her outstanding efforts.

These experiences reinforce my belief in the power of recognizing and celebrating everyday kindness. By changing how we view life, we change our life itself. I encourage readers to prioritize daily acts of kindness and appreciation, emphasizing that even small gestures can create a ripple effect of positivity in the world. Who will you thank or lift up today?

Full Original Writing

Excellence and kindness. Help others and shine the light on the good in our world!

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”

-Desmond Tutu

In a January 28, 2024, blog post, “Cultivating Contentment: The Potential of Intentional Daily Reviews,” I wrote about my initiative of prioritizing time each day to complete a handwritten index card where I intentionally reflected on five areas where I wanted to ensure I contemplated during my daily activities. Reflecting briefly and documenting with a pen and index card helped me internalize my day, appreciate it, and leave a brief trail of highlights. On October 10, 2024, I will celebrate one year of this daily process!

Because of my deliberate effort to highlight thoughts daily, I have noticed that my life is enhanced because I am actively working on appreciating each day and taking in experiences that in the past might have “slipped by me” in the rush of the day. My five areas, as shared in the blog post above, are:

  1. Win
  2. Gratitude
  3. Stress or Tension
  4. Help Others/Shine the Light
  5. Activity/Personal Development

In this post, I will share two recent heartwarming experiences that fall under the category “Help Others/Shine the Light.” Inspired by Daniel Burns (KindLoook), Bruce Kasanoff (Help this person…), and Leanne Gordon (Thank you for…), I gain joy and fulfillment in approaching each day dedicated to looking for the good in humankind. I strive to participate in, recognize, and celebrate the kindness that essentially goes unappreciated as many of us rush through our days and only stop to acknowledge when experiences are unfavorable. One moment, one interaction, one note at a time, I will prioritize the time to appreciate and acknowledge others. While I cannot change the world, I might change someone’s day for the better. And for sure, I am changing my day and life! If we change the lens of how we view life, we change our life.

Recently, we took a family trip to Frankfort, Louisville, and Grove City, Ohio. We visited bourbon distilleries in Kentucky and then attended a family wedding in Ohio! It was an active and fun-filled six days. While I did no formal writing each day, I always looked for people bringing good to the world. The process of being aware of moments of kindness brings me joy.

September 25, 2024 | Mark and Linda Misencik with Terri, Bill and Ryan Tomoff | Buffalo Trace Distillery
September 26, 2024 | Ryan Tomoff at Glenns Creek Distilling

How we conduct ourselves in daily interactions can have a positive ripple effect on others. Whether they acknowledge it or not, people treasure being seen and appreciated. We all have the power to make this happen for others. The trip resulted in many feel-good moments, and two notable experiences prompted me to send notes of appreciation:

**

Tuesday, September 24, 2024 | Dinner at KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky

Shortly after we checked into our hotel, my wife Terri, son Ryan, and I went to a nearby restaurant for hibachi and sushi. After a long day of travel (550 miles), we ended with a delightful time shared at KOI Express. While we thoroughly enjoyed the meal, the customer service experience was heartwarming and made our day! Moments like these deserve recognition. We sent the following note after we returned home:

“To staff at KOI Express,

On Monday, September 24th (about 7:00 PM), our family of three stopped in for a sit-down dinner.

Our service, from start to finish, was excellent. We wanted to express our sincere appreciation!

From the smile and patience in taking our order, taking the initiative to correct a mistake on the bill (we did not notice), bringing us our meals – delicious – and assisting with our clean-up, your service was inspiring!

Thank you, The Tomoff Family

PS – and your Dept. of Health assessment posted – 100%! #WellDone”

[If you are ever in Frankfort, check out the KOI Express location at 101 Jett Boulevard, Suite 500]

September 24, 2024 | KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky

**

Friday, September 27th to Sunday, September 29, 2024 | Morning Breakfast at Home2 Suites By Hilton in Grove City, Ohio

We had a wonderful time celebrating Taylor and Nate Kocan’s wedding in Grove City. Our accommodations at the Home2 Suites by Hilton were perfect! The morning breakfast routine was an excellent highlight (I love my morning quiet time). During the three mornings, I noted an employee taking great care in making sure the breakfast options were monitored and kept plentiful. She frequently cleared dishes and cleaned tables. With no fanfare, she set an incredible example of caring about her job and providing the best breakfast experience for the hotel guests.

On the second morning, I approached the employee and expressed my appreciation for her efforts. She was a bit surprised yet grateful for my comments. She felt good, and I felt good. All I had to do was get over a bit of discomfort in approaching her. We talked again on the third morning, and I learned her name was Bonnie. She was gracious and kind.

I sent the following note after returning home:

“Dear Bonnie,

Thank you for your incredible service (along with your team) in providing the morning breakfast during our recent stay (9/26 – 9/29/2024) at the Home2 Suites By Hilton!

Your attention to detail, maintenance of the breakfast area, and kind, helpful personality were a delight to observe. You all are appreciated—keep up the great work!

Much gratitude, The Tomoff Family”

September 27, 2024 | Home2 Suites By Hilton | Grove City, Ohio

Image credit: https://www.hilton.com/en/hotels/lckgcht-home2-suites-grove-city-columbus/

September 27, 2024 | Breakfast in Lobby | Home2 Suites By Hilton

**

Call to action: Prioritize daily time for kindness and appreciation to help make your world a better place. The good you put into the world matters.

Who can you thank or lift up today? You never know when your actions will inspire a ripple impact into the world.

September 28, 2024 | Bill, Ryan, and Terri Tomoff, Olivia and Bo Hudson | Taylor and Nate Kocan Wedding Reception
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The Long Game of Kindness: Shifting from Daily Distractions to Lasting Impact

“What we are taught, we learn. What we cultivate, we absorb. There are no small acts of kindness. Each compassionate deed is like watering a redwood seed. You never know what heights it might reach.”

–Eric Weiner book The Socrates Express, interpretation of Confucius Philosophy

This post is inspired by Seth Godin’s blog post, “Are you day trading?” published on December 28, 2017 (Ship It calendar day: September 14, 2024), and Eric Weiner’s book The Socrates Express. In Seth’s post, he references the day-trading many of us do every day that compromises our ability to bring our best to our lives and the work we do. We don’t even realize this is happening! Consider this from his post:

“We’re hooked into something volatile, easily measured and emotional. We overdo our response to news, good or bad, and let it distract us from the long-term job of living a useful life.”

“It’ll be volatile with or without your help. Better to set it aside and get back to the real work of making a difference instead.”

Better to set it aside and get back to the real work of making a difference instead. We must be disciplined and intentional with our precious asset of time. Where is your time being “stolen” by daily drama or mainstream news that gets us hyped up? Yet, if you pause and contemplate for a few seconds, you can decide not to engage with the moment and go about making a difference in your life! Small daily micro-moments can shift your entire presence in your world and interactions with others. Consider:

  1. Eliminate consuming mainstream media news.
  2. Do not judge or offer an unsolicited opinion.
  3. Do not gossip.
  4. Read a book.
  5. Be more patient.
  6. Be more tolerant.
  7. Stay calm.
  8. Help others.
  9. Be grateful.
  10. Express thanks and appreciation.
  11. Adopt a mindset of abundance and generosity. Be kind.

All of the above examples are making a difference. How we live daily will contribute to making a difference for ourselves and others. Every moment we allow agitation, frustration, or anger to enter our sphere is time forever lost to the possibility of kindness.

December 11, 2022 | Bill and Terri Tomoff IRL Meetup with Seth Godin

**

June 2019 – TwinzTalk at Kelleys Island – Be Good To People

Kindness. Small acts of kindness will change your world. Know this. I recently listened to Eric Weiner’s The Socrates Express: In Search of Life Lessons from Dead Philosophers. From the Amazon book description:

“Eric Weiner combines his twin passions for philosophy and travel in a globe-trotting pil­grimage that uncovers surprising life lessons from great thinkers around the world, from Rousseau to Nietzsche, Confucius to Simone Weil. Traveling by train (the most thoughtful mode of transport), he journeys thousands of miles, making stops in Athens, Delhi, Wyoming, Coney Island, Frankfurt, and points in between to recon­nect with philosophy’s original purpose: teaching us how to lead wiser, more meaningful lives. From Socrates and ancient Athens to Beauvoir and 20th-century Paris, Weiner’s chosen philosophers and places provide important practical and spiritual lessons as we navigate today’s chaotic times.”

In Chapter 9, How to Be Kind like Confucius, Eric notes this about kindness [Bold emphasis is mine]:

“What we are taught, we learn. What we cultivate, we absorb. There are no small acts of kindness. Each compassionate deed is like watering a redwood seed. You never know what heights it might reach.”

“Kindness is always there, whether we notice it or not. “The Great Asymmetry,” the late Harvard paleontologist Stephen Jay Gould called this phenomenon. “Every spectacular incident of evil will be balanced by 10,000 acts of kindness,” he said. We witness these acts every day on our streets and in our homes and, yes, on the New York subway. An elderly woman braves a cold November day to feed the neighborhood squirrels; a businessman, late for a meeting, stops to help a single mom carry the groceries to her car; a teenager, skateboard in hand, notices an expired parking meter and drops a quarter in. That these ordinary acts of kindness rarely make the news renders them no less real, or heroic.

It is our duty, almost a holy responsibility, says Gould, “to record and honor the victorious weight of these innumerable little kindnesses.” Gould, a hard-nosed scientist, saw a practical reason for registering goodness. Kindness honored is kindness multiplied. Kindness is contagious. Witnessing acts of moral beauty triggers a flood of physical and emotional responses. Observing acts of kindness encourages us to act more kindly ourselves, a phenomenon confirmed in several recent studies.

I experience the kindness contagion firsthand. After my week riding the F train, hyperalert to acts of kindness, I become kinder myself. I hold doors for people. I pick up litter. I thank my barista—and leave a tip when she isn’t looking. These small acts won’t snare me the Nobel Peace Prize or sainthood, I realize. But it’s a start. A few more drops on the redwood seed.”

Are you interested in learning more and being more intentional about kindness (please…)? Check out KindLoook.com (Look, a little longer, with kindness…), developed by Daniel Burns, a tremendous human who encourages us all to notice and celebrate acts of kindness. Join the movement of kindness!

Our world is too often dominated by noise and negativity, yet we have the power to create a different reality. If we take small steps to put aside the noise and instead focus on micro-moments of small, intentional acts of kindness, we can be part of a movement toward positive change. Whether eliminating toxic media consumption, practicing patience, being more tolerant, or helping others, each small act contributes to a larger culture of kindness. As we become more aware of the kindness around us, we become kinder ourselves, creating a contagious cycle of good. 

Rajesh Setty | Rules for Heart-Led Relationships
Be Kind – Bill Tomoff and Doug Cantlay
November 11, 2023 | Worthy Rally in NYC | Andrea Sanchez, Bill Tomoff, and Kate Nasser

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Threads of Inspiration: Celebrating Terri Tomoff’s Quest to Preserve Memories through T-Shirt Quilts

My wife Terri and I share an attribute that makes a huge difference in our lives: We care about what we do and strive to make a meaningful contribution to others.

The greatest fulfillment is derived when we meet a need for others and do it with a unique blend of care, talent, and appreciation. This is not about money and the transactional nature that dominates many business dealings. It’s about the unbeatable combination of care, talent, and appreciation that can lead to meaningful contributions and inspire us all.

“No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”

–Theodore Roosevelt

Theodore Roosevelt Quote – Source YouTube Image – Senen Falco

TwinzTalk Don and I bring this to our personal and professional work. We care about making an impact and appreciate clients who trust us to help them grow and develop. Throughout our careers and lives, we relentlessly focus on personal development to upgrade our talents (ultimately, while we control dedication and effort, we don’t control the external assessment of whether our talent meets a client’s expectations) and bring our best abilities to all we do.

This post, however, is about Terri Tomoff and her inspiring work through her Needle On Full t-shirt quilt business. Terri’s talent and dedication grew exponentially throughout our married life together. She is wickedly talented (I am biased!), yet the level of care she brings to her projects and her desire to provide “a one-of-a-kind treasured keepsake” to her customers is the highest compliment. This excerpt from a testimonial on her website articulates beautifully the impact she has made:

“So very thankful that we held onto our t-shirt bins and waited! I am very thankful we waited for the right person to come along before giving over our treasured t-shirts to be made into a quilt. I know from experience that not all T-shirt quilts are made the same way. When I saw the quilts Terri donated to The Talent Machine Company for their gala in November of 2021, I knew she was a very talented and skilled quilter. The quilts I saw were exquisite!”

Terri laughs when I mention that a “happy place” for me is when the family is in the house, and everyone is doing what lights their souls. Time spent on her quilting projects brings Terri joy and fulfillment. I hear the Bernina sewing machine or long-arm machine humming as she works, and I feel comfortable! All is well in the home.

She can have several quilt projects in her queue at any time. Witnessing the process from start to finish is heartwarming as I watch Terri move seamlessly through each stage, from meeting with the customer to delivering the finished treasured keepsake t-shirt quilt! I might even be asked my opinion when the t-shirts are arranged on her design board. No stone is left unturned to complete a compelling project for the customer!

When the quilt is delivered, the final package includes:

  • A stunning quilt highlighting t-shirts from her customer’s favorite memories.
  • A specially crafted label for the back of the quilt, based on the customer’s wishes.
  • A Needle On Full bag to hold the quilt.
  • Cleaning care instructions.
  • A thank you note.

Terri takes great pride in servicing her customers to the best of her abilities. The t-shirts represent precious memories; she remembers these are very important to her customers. 

Needle On Full – T-Shirt Quilt Package to Mail

Reflecting on Terri’s dedication to her craft and customers, I am impressed and believe we can learn much from her. Her Needle On Full initiative is an example of bringing talent and care together to make a meaningful contribution to others. This is not just about a transaction for a t-shirt quilt; it is about preserving memories and honoring life’s moments that are important to the customer. Terri’s commitment to excellence, genuine care for her customers, and appreciation for their trust in her inspires me. Her story is a testament to the power of combining talent with genuine care and appreciation. This lesson resonates far beyond the realm of quilting into every aspect of our lives. 

Terri, thank you for being a trusted ally to many customers and leading by example in delivering “WOW” factor results to your customers with kindness and compassion.

Terri Tomoff – T-Shirt Quilt Package to Mail
August 29, 2024 – Needle On Full T-Shirt Quilt
Bill and Terri Tomoff – Running Highlights T-Shirt Quilt
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Draw a Map

Draw a map. Be a leader who, by example, encourages taking initiative and creating an environment of possibility.

“Human nature is to need a map. If you’re brave enough to draw one, people will follow.”

—Seth Godin

We ALL have an opportunity to “draw a map.”  To help yourself, your profession, and your employer.

Today, Generative AI (i.e. ChatGPT and Claude) is providing an incredible opportunity to upskill and rethink how you work. Embrace these times and aggressively invest in yourself and build your skills to help yourself and others.

Possibility Coffee Mug
#TwinzTalk Don and Bill Tomoff at Ohio University College Green