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Finding Clarity Through Chaos: How My Life Razor Emerged from Personal Crisis

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

While reading Sahil Bloom’s “The Five Types of Wealth,” I discovered a concept that can transform my approach to the complexities of my decision-making. Bloom introduces the idea of a “Life Razor” – a simple decision-making filter that cuts through confusion to guide choices aligned with our core values.

This concept immediately resonated with me. After reflecting on my life experiences and working with ChatGPT, I developed my Life Razor: “Choose growth, gratitude, generosity, and guidance—always.“

My Growth principle was forged through necessity – first as a driven college student, then as a professional balancing career demands with my son Ryan’s cancer diagnosis in 1996. This life-altering crisis forced me to “think differently” and embrace innovation to survive professionally while supporting my family.

Gratitude became foundational through Ryan’s cancer journey. The overwhelming support from our “village” taught me the precious gift of ordinary days and the truth that “people need people.”

Generosity followed as I committed to paying forward the kindness shown to us during Ryan’s battles. I approach every interaction knowing everyone carries hidden struggles.

Guidance completes the circle as I share my experiences and lessons to help others realize their potential. This creates a continuous cycle: personal growth increases my capacity to guide others, gratitude fuels generosity, and helping others facilitates my development.

My Life Razor wasn’t crafted in a workshop but emerged from my life experiences. It now serves as my North Star for decisions large and small, helping me live with purpose and clarity. 

What principles might form your Life Razor?

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Full Original Writing

In March 2024, I began reading “The Five Types of Wealth” by Sahil Bloom. Early in the book, Sahil discusses creating a “Life Razor” as a guiding filter to help us make sound decisions.

Sahil makes the following observation:

“In the study of philosophy, the term razor denotes any principle that allows you to quickly remove unlikely explanations or avoid unnecessary steps. It allows you to metaphorically shave away unneeded explanations or actions. Today, the term is broadly applied as a rule of thumb that simplifies decision-making.

It’s easy to allow your priorities to fall victim to these encounters, to lose yourself in the chaos. In these moments, you need your own point of focus-your own rule of thumb to simplify your decision-making, a foundational decision-making heuristic that will allow you to navigate the uncertainty and trials of life with the confidence of an experienced explorer. You need to keep the Earth in the window.

You need a Life Razor.“

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When I encountered this concept, I paused my reading. The idea of a Life Razor resonated so profoundly that I needed to explore it further.

Identifying and leaning into a short phrase (“Razor”) to help me filter my thought process and avoid unnecessary steps in making a decision? This is very attractive to me!

Over the past two-plus years (since December 2022) of working with ChatGPT, the Large Language Model (LLM) has learned a great deal about me. Thus, I talked with ChatGPT to assist me in formulating my Life Razor. After a few back-and-forth prompting conversations, I landed on a perfect phrase to embrace as my Life Razor:

“Choose growth, gratitude, generosity, and guidance—always.”

Each element of this razor is essential to bringing my best self to others and the world. The phrase fits me perfectly and can be a filter for me in handling the endless stream of opportunities, requests, and obligations that we encounter daily.

Clarification of each component and further comments from ChatGPT, based on my history of conversations, included:

“Life razors are like having a personal decision-making filter—they help you stay true to your values, make smarter choices, and avoid unnecessary stress. Instead of overthinking, you can apply a razor and move forward with confidence.

This life razor captures:

  • Growth – Committing to continuous personal development to become the best version of yourself.
  • Gratitude – Recognizing and appreciating those who have shaped your journey and actively expressing thanks.
  • Generosity – Leading with kindness, sharing moments of support, and creating positive ripple effects in the lives of others.
  • Guidance – Utilizing your knowledge, experience, and talents to help others learn, grow, and advance in their personal and professional journeys.”

Each component of my life razor is interconnected and speaks to the core of the person I strive to be. For example, growth through personal development is compelling because it enables me to provide more significant guidance to others traveling the road behind me. Gratitude and generosity allow me to live a more fulfilling life and inspire others to lead gentler and kinder lives. My overall goal is to be a positive and encouraging presence for others.

These four principles were developed through life-altering experiences that tested and transformed my family and me. Each component of my Life Razor is anchored in specific chapters of my journey, which have taught me what truly matters. Let me share how these principles took hold in my life.

This quote from George Eliot’s novel Middlemarch resonates:

“What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult to each other?”

At this stage of my life, I feel blessed to have become who I am today. My defined life razor will help me live the rest of my life with a focus that enhances the possibility of a fulfilling and content life, preparing me to be the presence I want to be to inspire and help others.

My life razor is a deep part of “who I am.” I feel fulfilled when reflecting on each component I have identified. The decision filter I now follow has been refined through my lifetime of experiences and is more refined than it could have been at earlier stages. I am grateful for my experiences and quest for personal growth, which have enabled me to evolve into the person I am today. Below, I will expand on each aspect of my life razor and the “how” each of the “4 G’s” became an integral part of my life.

Growth:

Since I walked onto the Ohio University campus as a freshman in 1977, my commitment to learning and personal growth has remained unwavering. My commitment was born out of a survival mindset. Academic success was crucial for achieving the goals I had set for my future. This mindset has carried over into my professional career and has been a key factor in my success. Embracing technology tools and being an early adopter with my twin brother, Don, has consistently given us an advantage throughout our careers.

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

–Mike Tyson, Boxer

When our lives move forward as we hope, it is easy to get complacent and less rigorous about attending to our self-improvement. After conquering the challenge of academics and Division 1 cross country and track at OU, I was confident that with dedication and hard work, I could continue to attain a successful career in accounting. A skill set and hard work can work wonders for achieving success. Combining those attributes with my love of technology and pursuit of continual learning (I achieved my MBA 11 years after undergraduate graduation), I was fortunate to be successful in my early career. Then, on October 17, 1996, my family and I received a metaphorical “punch in the mouth.”

1996 – Ryan, Bill, Olivia Tomoff and Boo Boo Bunny

October 17, 1996. My son Ryan was diagnosed with childhood cancer. I provide a more expanded discussion in my section of the 2nd “G” of Gratitude below. I now faced the long-term challenge of balancing my professional life with the non-negotiable personal demands my family needed and deserved. The stress I was enduring was indescribable as I worried about meeting my professional obligations so I could continue to support my family and provide healthcare coverage through my employment. I now had to find a way to be more efficient and effective with the precious time I would dedicate to work.

November 14, 2010 | Tomoff Family – JMU Women’s Soccer at NCAA Tournament vs UNC

“Think differently” and “Find a better way” are two themes that Don and I have embraced and encouraged throughout our careers. Don introduced me to “The Trial Balance (TB) Rollup” in 1998. I was in desperate need of finding a better way. Frantically desperate, in the sense of being in career survival mode. The stakes could not get any higher. We were venturing into a way of working foreign to traditional accountants. Yet, the concept of the TB Rollup turned out to be the most remarkable invention I adopted, and my mindset was profoundly shifted for the rest of my life. I would not wish my path to enlightenment upon anyone, yet in hindsight, I was pushed to a place of action that likely would not have occurred without the life-altering experience thrust upon Ryan and my family.

“Necessity is the Mother of Invention” –Proverb

Don and I now encourage others to embrace personal development (see my “4th G” of Guidance). The possibilities for success begin with building a solid individual foundation and then leaning into helping and inspiring others to embrace the path, which has been immensely rewarding for us.

Gratitude:

Gratitude gradually became an intentional part of my life while dealing with my son Ryan’s childhood cancer diagnosis since October 17, 1996. I sincerely appreciate the reality that “people need people,” and I now strive to embody gratitude in my daily interactions. An “ordinary” day is no small thing – it’s a blessing that I treasure. Each day is a gift.

When Ryan was diagnosed, he was just over two years old, and his sister Olivia was four and 1/2 years old. Our family life, as we knew it, was dealt a blow that was unimaginable and impossible to prepare for. We had moved to Maryland from Ohio only ten weeks before Ryan’s diagnosis. How did we survive? Over time, the support of caring people became the anchor in our lives—slowly, steadily, drip by drip. The experience profoundly changed us and led us to the discovery of post-traumatic growth.

In her memoir, published in March 2021, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, Terri shares the story of Ryan’s 5-time battles with childhood and adult cancers. He is a miracle survivor today, and he and Olivia are our heroes for their unrelenting persistence and passion, which has enabled them to live their lives as we all navigate a road that, thankfully, is one that few are chosen to travel.

Fittingly, in the closing section of her memoir (Chapter 34), Terri shares “Illuminating Reflections from the Village,” which includes 59 reflections from people who have walked with us. Terri notes:

“Why not ask those who have witnessed the madness, mayhem, and miracles to write a reflection? They could write on what they observed or found inspirational by either Ryan, the journey itself, or anyone else in the family they thought fitting.”

“The 59 reflections are powerful; some will be funny, surprising, poignant – but all heartfelt. These profound illuminations radiate from our family, friends, neighbors, community members, doctors, nurses, other cancer families, cancer survivors, and those who are bereaved.”

“The authors of these reflections are wonderful representatives of the larger world that encompasses thousands of people who truly make a difference – not only in our lives, but in the lives of many others.”

You can listen to Terri reading the reflections on Substack, Apple, or Spotify podcasts. The Substack links are below:

The Focused Fight – Ch. 34A – Illuminating Reflections from the Village

The Focused Fight – Ch. 34B – Illuminating Reflections from the Village

The Focused Fight – Ch. 34C – Illuminating Reflections from the Village

People need people. This section of Terri’s memoir says it all. We are forever grateful and live by paying it forward, helping others. With greater intent than ever before, the “3rd G,” Generosity, has taken hold in our daily lives.

Generosity:

Not a day passes without our gratitude for the gift of each day and the wonderful, caring, and talented people who came into our lives during Ryan’s battles. We can never repay the kindness and compassion extended to our family over the years. Yet, every day, I strive to bring a gentle and kind presence to my interactions with others and the world.

“Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.”

Due to my life experiences, I have realized that everyone has a story we know nothing about. My brief interactions with others (micro-moments) are an opportunity to lift someone’s spirits and create a ripple of good out into the world. We often don’t realize our impact on others and what they may be struggling with at any given moment. Thus, err on the side of kindness—always.

Guidance:

Guidance is the 4th and final “G” that brings my life razor full circle. The blessings my family and I have received in our lives will be repaid by sharing my talents and experiences to encourage and inspire others. As illustrated in the circular diagram below, the process of my life razor starts with focusing on my personal growth, being grateful and generous, and culminating in guidance to others. Then, the process continues on and on.

Throughout my career and life, I have strived to pay forward the help, opportunities, and kindness I have received. My mission is to help others realize they have more significant potential than they think. Assisting others to rise brings me joy and fulfillment. In small ways, I am doing my best to create a ripple of learning and success.

My life razor was determined based on my personal and professional life experiences to date. I am a product of all my experiences, which contribute to the full capabilities I bring to the world. I, and all individuals, are not separate packages of personal and professional life. Everyone has a story, and we must embrace the complete person. To be our best for others, we must inventory, understand, and fully embrace all our life experiences. Weaving in April Rinne’s (I highly recommend her book, Flux: 8 Superpowers for Thriving in Constant Change) concept of Career Portfolios can significantly help identify the many ways we can bring value to the world. Too often, we focus solely on our professional experiences and fail to give ourselves sufficient credit for the overall life experiences that profoundly shape who we become and how we view and interact with the world. Each of us brings a unique, one-of-a-kind presence to the world. We all must lean into all our uniqueness!

A separate blog post will discuss April’s concept of a career portfolio. 

What about you? What principles might form your Life Razor? The beauty of this concept is that each person’s razor will be unique, shaped by their journey and values. Take a moment to consider:

  • What values consistently guide your best decisions?
  • When you reflect on the past decision you are proud of, what principles were at work?
  • If you had to create a simple filter for future decisions, what elements would it include?

I would love to hear what you come up with. Enjoy the process!

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No Shortcuts: Lessons from a Decade of Competitive Distance Running

This blog post is inspired by A Learning a Day blog titled “The Trial of Miles,” that resonated with me. Competitive distance running helped me in developing attributes that have benefited me throughout my entire life. When Olivia Tomoff was playing youth soccer, she often heard me say, “Your experiences with the game of soccer are bigger than the game.” I hope you enjoy my post!

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The Dream of a 2 Hour 30 Minute Marathon

May 15, 1983. Mile 23 of the Revco-Cleveland Marathon. My twin brother Don and I had been running stride for stride, in perfect rhythm as we pursued our year-long goal of breaking the 2:30 marathon barrier. For nearly a year, we had dedicated every early morning run, interval workout, and long run to this purpose.

The discipline required was relentless—a daily grind that few understood or appreciated. At mile 23, I began to pull ahead gradually. When I crossed the finish line at 2:29:48, I accomplished my dream. Don finished 46 seconds later at 2:30:34, improving his previous personal best by an astounding seven minutes! That day crystallized what the last decade of competitive running taught me: success comes through unwavering dedication, mile by mile.

The Lonely Road

From ages 14 to 24, I dedicated myself to becoming the best distance runner possible. The pursuit was often arduous and lonely, with lessons that weren’t immediately evident to my young mind. I understood that improvement demanded acceptance of the steady daily grind in a sport few could comprehend. The time commitment and physical demands far exceeded “ordinary” standards.

I was fortunate to be talented enough that my results built a confidence that would later serve me throughout life. I held the Westlake High School mile (4:28.9) and two-mile records (9:31.5). The two-mile record stood for 34 years from 1977 to 2011. I achieved moderate success at Ohio University in Division 1 cross country and track, then pursued competitive marathons for three years post-graduation.

No Shortcuts: The Trial of Miles

A recent blog post from A Learning a Day titled “The Trial of Miles” captured what I’ve long understood:

“What was the secret, they wanted to know; in a thousand different ways they wanted to know The Secret. And not one of them was prepared, truly prepared to believe that it had not so much to do with chemicals and zippy mental tricks as with that most unprofound and sometimes heart-rending process of removing, molecule by molecule, the very tough rubber that comprised the bottoms of his training shoes. The Trial of Miles; Miles of Trials.” — John L. Parker, Once a Runner

Most people search for quick results and shortcuts. They don’t exist. Excellence in anything worthwhile demands consistent, long-term dedication. In running and in life, we all face moments when we are not “good enough.” The willingness to persevere, to keep learning and improving based on our abilities, is essential.

As Ryan Holiday noted in a Daily Stoic email: “People can beat you, but no one can stop you from improving.” This truth has anchored my approach to life’s challenges.

From Track to Classroom: The Runner as Student

Walking onto Ohio University’s campus in fall 1977 terrified me. I was academically unprepared and had no idea how to succeed. But running had taught me to tackle challenges one step, one day, at a time.

What did “one day at a time” mean in this context? Controlling what I could: attending every class, taking notes, studying at the library daily, and preparing for exams well in advance. Running became my outlet to think and decompress from academic pressures. When I joined the varsity track and cross country programs in winter 1977-1978, my schedule was filled with academics and athletics. The discipline from running transferred directly to my academic pursuits.

The transformation was remarkable. I entered OU as an academically hopeless student. Four years later, my twin and I graduated Summa Cum Laude with accounting degrees and Big Eight public accounting job offers. We passed the CPA exam in 1981 and later completed MBA programs. The foundation built through running’s discipline had prepared me to embrace academic challenges I once thought impossible.

The Ultimate Marathon: Family and Adversity

In 1985, I met my life partner, Terri Nolan (we married in 1987). We shared a background in competitive distance running. “I need to go for a run” was a statement we both understood to our core. This shared mindset would prove crucial for what lay ahead.

Our greatest gifts came in our children: Olivia (1992) and Ryan (1994). Then in October 1996, when Olivia was four and Ryan was two, our world shattered with these devastating words: “your child has cancer.” Nothing prepares you for that moment.

The journey through Ryan’s five-time cancer battles has been unimaginably brutal. Yet, Terri and I discovered that our background as competitive athletes—people who had traveled a road few understand—equipped us with mental tools crucial to our family’s survival. The perseverance, discipline, and ability to endure suffering we developed through running became the foundation for navigating years of treatments, setbacks, and uncertainty.

Beyond Survival: Post-Traumatic Growth

The intensity of the past 28 years has often felt impossible, yet we have survived and found ways to grow stronger. Terri and I agree with the concept of post-traumatic growth—positive psychological change experienced as a result of struggling with highly challenging life circumstances.

Our competitive athletic backgrounds taught us to embrace difficulty rather than avoid it, to push through pain rather than fear it, and to believe in the possibility of breakthrough even when evidence suggests otherwise. These mindsets have transformed our suffering into purpose, fueling our mission to help others facing similar challenges.

Terri captured our family’s journey in her 2021 memoir, “The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles.” The title reflects the mentality we fought to bring to this unimaginable challenge.

The Lifetime Gift of Competitive Sports

I now understand that competitive sports gave me far more than records or medals. The discipline, resilience, and mental fortitude developed through running prepared me for challenges I could never have anticipated. This isn’t unique to running—any competitive sport pursued with dedication can provide similar gifts.

In a conversation with ChatGPT about this perspective, I received insights that helped me articulate these thoughts more clearly. The complete reflections will appear in future blog posts.

The real value of competitive sports isn’t found in championships or records, but in the person you become through the process. The steady transformation that occurs—molecule by molecule, mile by mile—prepares you for life’s inevitable trials. And that preparation is a gift that lasts a lifetime.

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Thanks to Claude AI for developmental editing assistance that helped sharpen and structure this personal reflection.

November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day Certificate
August 29, 2010 | Tomoff Family Photo – Ryan, Bill, Olivia, and Terri | JMU Soccer Invitational post-game
December 2007 | U-16 Orange Classic | Olivia Tomoff Game Tying Goal
May 15, 1983 | Revco-Cleveland Marathon | Bill and Don Tomoff
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Khan Academy’s AI Revolution: How Khanmigo is Reshaping Education

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

In this blog post, I am sharing my thoughts on Khan Academy’s innovative approach to education through AI.

In my post, I explore Sal Khan’s mission of “providing a free, world-class education for anyone, anywhere” and how artificial intelligence is accelerating this bold vision. I highlight Khan’s optimistic perspective on AI from his 2023 TED Talk, where he argues that we must “fight like hell” for positive AI applications rather than surrendering to fear.

I share how this aligns with my twin’s and my perspective on Generative AI – we must acknowledge risks while embracing potential. The work Khan Academy is doing is genuinely making a difference in education, and curiosity and progress are essential despite the challenges of change.

I discuss my recent discovery of Khanmigo, Khan Academy’s AI initiative to transform education delivery and reduce teacher workload. This platform is being tested in school districts, creating impressive possibilities for improving education for children globally.

I provide resources for readers to learn more, including links to Khan Academy’s website and YouTube channel. The latter now boasts 8.74 million subscribers and 8,600 learning videos. Fifteen million worldwide use Khan Academy monthly for math and economics subjects.

I conclude by framing Khan’s work as both technological innovation and philosophical approach – one that demonstrates how AI can enhance human potential rather than diminish it. The question isn’t whether AI will transform education, but how we direct that transformation.

Full Original Writing

Many are familiar with Sal Kahn’s work and his mission of “providing a free, world-class education for anyone, anywhere.” The mission is bold and audacious, yet progress has been made over years. Now, Artificial Intelligence (AI) is accelerating the pace of progress!

Sal is a proponent of optimism and leveraging possibilities to solve some challenges in the education system. In this post, I will share links and videos that take a deeper look at Kahn Academy’s evolving work. Don and I encourage siding with the optimists regarding the potential transformative future of AI.

This excerpt from the transcript of Sal’s April 2023 TED Talk, How AI Could Save (Not Destroy) Education, provides a compelling perspective on moving forward in the future of AI:

In the video linked below, I encourage you to watch from 13:33 to 15:29 where Sal addresses risks of bad actors and his thoughts on the importance of optimists “fighting like hell” for the good of AI [Bold emphasis are mine].

13:33 | Now, just to take a step back at a meta level, obviously we heard a lot today, the debates on either side.

13:39 | There’s folks who take a more pessimistic view of AI, they say this is scary, there’s all these dystopian scenarios, we maybe want to slow down, we want to pause. On the other side, there are the more optimistic folks that say, well, we’ve gone through inflection points before, we’ve gone through the Industrial Revolution.

13:57 | It was scary, but it all kind of worked out. And what I’d argue right now is I don’t think this is like a flip of a coin or this is something where we’ll just have to, like, wait and see which way it turns out. I think everyone here and beyond, we are active participants in this decision. I’m pretty convinced that the first line of reasoning is actually almost a self-fulfilling prophecy, that if we act with fear and if we say, “Hey, we’ve just got to stop doing this stuff,” what’s really going to happen is the rule followers might pause, might slow down, but the rule breakers, as Alexandr [Wang] mentioned, the totalitarian governments, the criminal organizations, they’re only going to accelerate. And that leads to what I am pretty convinced is the dystopian state, which is the good actors have worse AIs than the bad actors. But I’ll also, you know, talk to the optimists a little bit.

14:49 | I don’t think that means that, oh, yeah, then we should just relax and just hope for the best. That might not happen either. I think all of us together have to fight like hell to make sure that we put the guardrails, we put in — when the problems arise — reasonable regulations. But we fight like hell for the positive use cases.

15:10 | Because very close to my heart, and obviously there’s many potential positive use cases, but perhaps the most powerful use case and perhaps the most poetic use case is if AI, artificial intelligence, can be used to enhance HI, human intelligence, human potential and human purpose. Thank you.

Kahn’s perspective aligns with the message that my twin and I share about Generative AI. We must pay attention and be aware of the risks that “bad actors” can bring forth using AI, yet throwing up our hands, dismissing potential outright, and choosing not to do anything is reckless.

The work that Kahn Academy is doing in pursuit of its mission of “providing a free, world-class education for anyone, anywhere,” is making a difference in the education world. We must stay curious and encourage progress on this mission. Change is difficult, but it is the only constant that is for sure.

Thanks to Terri Tomoff alerting me, I recently watched a 13-minute feature on Kahn Academy’s AI initiative to advance the education process. Sal Kahn and his team’s vision is impressive, and the possibilities for leveraging AI to improve education for all children AND the teacher workload are shifting to more value-added and meaningful work.

The initiative is an AI platform called Kahnmigo. With the help of the Custom ChatGPT (GPTs) Video Summarizer, I gained an impressive overview of the 60 minutes recent 13-minute episode, Meet Khanmigo: The Student Tutor being tested in school districts.

The YouTube video is linked below:

The link to the Video Summarizer analysis is an impressive recap that enables a deeper dive interaction. For example, I asked the video summarizer to provide a conclusion diagram to help increase my awareness of the topics covered in the episode.

I am inspired to see Kahn Academy striving to leverage AI to change the future of education and improve the lives of learning for children [hopefully] around the world!

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For more information about the beginnings of Kahn Academy, please check out this  60-minutes 2012 highlighting Kahn Academy:

Teacher to the World – March 11, 2012 (60 Minutes):

Video Conclusion Diagram generated by ChatGPT:

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Kahn Academy website: www.khanacademy.org

Kahn Academy on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/khanacademy

As of January 8, 2025, the presence includes 8.74 million subscribers and 8,600 learning videos.

About

Khan Academy is a nonprofit providing a free, world-class education for anyone, anywhere. Our interactive practice problems, articles, and videos help students succeed in math, biology, chemistry, physics, history, economics, finance, grammar, and many other topics.

Khan Academy provides teachers with data on how their students are doing so they can identify gaps in learning and provide tailored instruction. We also offer free personalized SAT and LSAT practice in partnership with the College Board and the Law School Admission Council.

Our resources have been translated into dozens of languages, and 15 million people around the globe learn on Khan Academy each month.

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(Conclusion in collaboration with Claude AI)

Sal Khan’s work with AI through Khanmigo represents technological innovation and a philosophical approach that balances awareness of risks with determined optimism. As we navigate this transformative period in education, Khan Academy continues to exemplify how thoughtful AI implementation can enhance human potential rather than diminish it. The progress made since their beginning in 2012 – now reaching millions worldwide with their learning resources – demonstrates the power of persistence in pursuing their mission. By embracing AI as a tool for educational equity rather than fearing its challenges, Khan Academy invites us all to become active participants in shaping a future where technology amplifies human intelligence, expands access to quality education, and ultimately fulfills the promise of providing “a free, world-class education for anyone, anywhere.” The question isn’t whether AI will transform education, but how we choose to direct that transformation – and Khan Academy is showing us one inspiring path forward.

Dall-E AI Image | #TwinzTalk Brainstorming and Learning
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The ‘Becoming’ Mindset: How Daily Growth Will Transform Your Life

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

Through my participation in the Purple Space community, I discovered Rohan Rajiv’s “A Learning a Day” blog which I’ve read daily for the past year. Recently, a phrase from his “About” section deeply resonated with me: writing continues to inspire a learning-focused mindset that values becoming over being.

This philosophy mirrors how my twin Don and I have approached our careers—focused on learning and improving incrementally over years rather than reaching a final destination. We strive to learn and grow continually.

This theme also aligns with my reading of Stoicism. As Ryan Holiday explains in his Daily Stoic post, “To be a Stoic is to be a lifelong student… to know that wisdom is an endless pursuit, to believe one never graduates.”

It’s interesting to consider how many adults view education as something that ends with formal schooling. Yet historically, figures like Marcus Aurelius and Cato prioritized ongoing education throughout adulthood. Marcus, even as emperor, carried books to attend philosophy lectures, saying “learning is a good thing, even for one who is growing old.”

Don and I encourage us all to embrace this journey of continual learning and set an example for others. The “becoming” reflects our growth process, while our “being” represents who we are in our daily presence within our families, communities, and the world. We never graduate from the need for learning—it’s a lifelong commitment to improvement.

Thanks to my participation in the Purple Space community of practice, I became aware of Rohan Rajiv’s daily blog, “A Learning a Day.” Over the past year, I have read this blog daily, and I have enjoyed the variety of Rohan’s postings.

I recently reviewed Rohan’s ABOUT section of his website, and a phrase that is worth contemplating our perspectives on accomplishments and reaching goals in our lives resonated with me. The full text is included below, and the bold emphasis is mine:

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About the author

Hi! Thanks for making it here. My name is Rohan. I have been writing daily notes on this blog since May 12 2008-–doing so has changed my life.

My mission is to…

(1) …contribute positively to the world by working on things that matter

(2) …build meaningful relationships by playing long-term games with long-term people

(3) …learn by seeking new experiences and not fearing mistakes 

Contribution and relationships are important to me because they’ve been shaped by the loss of loved ones when I was growing up. And, learning matters because of what I’ve learnt from writing everyday on this blog.

The discipline of writing every day has given me the confidence in my ability to keep my own word. It has served as an outlet for my obsessive attention to contribution and taught me to contribute by first being the change I wish to see in the world. Most importantly, it continues to inspire a learning-focused mindset that values becoming over being.

I currently work as a Product Manager at LinkedIn working on products that help job seekers find jobs. I previously worked as a management consultant working primarily across Europe and Asia sandwiched between an MBA and B. Eng from the Kellogg School of Management and the National University of Singapore respectively. More on my Linkedin – of course. 🙂

My wife and I became parents in Nov 2016. Our parenting philosophy is an attempt at living Khalil Gibran’s masterpiece – “On Children.”

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This is worth repeating: It [writing] has served as an outlet for my obsessive attention to contribution and taught me to contribute by first being the change I wish to see in the world. Most importantly, it continues to inspire a learning-focused mindset that values becoming over being.

“A learning-focused mindset that values becoming over being.”

Twin Don and I have lived our careers focused on learning and improving incrementally over the long haul of years. There is no arrival at a destination; we strive to learn and grow continually.

The theme Rohan explains here aligns perfectly with my reading and learning of Stoicism. I, and all who read the Stoicism philosophy, are on a path of lifelong learning with no destination. The goal is continual improvement. Ryan Holiday explains in this Daily Stoic post, “This Is What It Means To Be A Stoic.”

“To be a Stoic is to be a lifelong student. It’s to follow in the footsteps of Hadrian and Marcus and Cato and Thrasea. It’s to know that wisdom is an endless pursuit, to believe one never graduates, one never arrives at some final destination of education.“

**

The full text of the blog post:

“It’s sort of strange—if you think back to when you were a kid, what appeared to you to be the best part about being an adult? No more school. Because that’s the example adults by and large set: that education stops. That adulthood is like one long summer break. That graduation is the final destination of learning and studying and investing in your education.

This is a relatively recent phenomenon. Not that long ago, adults prioritized their own education as much as their kids. There’s the story of Epictetus teaching one day when a student’s arrival caused a commotion in the back of the room. Who was it? Hadrian, the emperor. Hadrian’s example clearly had an impact on his successor and adopted grandson, Marcus Aurelius. Late in his reign, a friend spotted Marcus heading out, carrying a stack of books. Where are you going? he asked. Marcus was on his way to a lecture on Stoicism, he said, for “learning is a good thing, even for one who is growing old. I am now on my way to Sextus the philosopher to learn what I do not yet know.” In adulthood, Cato had the Stoic philosopher Athenodorus Cordylion come live with him so he could continue his studies. Thrasea, one of the Stoics who challenged Nero, continued his studies up until his last breath. In fact, he was discoursing and studying with Demetrius the Cynic when his death sentence from Nero arrived.

This is what it means to be a Stoic. To be a Stoic is to be a lifelong student. It’s to follow in the footsteps of Hadrian and Marcus and Cato and Thrasea. It’s to know that wisdom is an endless pursuit, to believe one never graduates, one never arrives at some final destination of education.

**

Embrace the journey of continual learning and set an example for others to follow. Let’s keep learning and becoming. The “being” is who we are and our daily presence in our family, community, and world. We do not graduate from the need for learning.

#TwinzTalk | Bill and Don Tomoff – C-Suite Quote
Continual Education – 5 Hour Rule (Compounding impact)
Tanmay Vora Sketchnote – Move and the Way Appears
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Life’s Depth Chart: Developing Your Team for Peak Performance

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

The post begins by reflecting on a February 2025 “A Learning a Day” blog entry about footballer alchemy, which emphasizes how individual success often depends more on team fit and environment than raw talent alone. Building on this sports analogy, the post explores how we can apply this principle to optimize our lives by treating personal development like a general manager creating a successful team.

The piece outlines three critical components for personal success: dedication to self-development, careful curation of our “life team,” and strategic use of enabling tools. Just as athletes commit to constant improvement, we must prioritize self-care and personal growth to perform at our best. The post emphasizes the importance of surrounding ourselves with supportive relationships, including family, friends, coworkers, and various communities that enhance our potential.

Regarding tools, the author highlights how embracing technology—from fundamental tools like spreadsheets to more advanced platforms like generative AI—can significantly boost our capabilities and efficiency. The post explicitly mentions tools like Microsoft Excel, Adobe PDF, X1 Search, Evernote, and various AI platforms as examples of technology that has enhanced the author’s professional and personal life.

The piece concludes by reinforcing that building our optimal “life team” is an ongoing process requiring continuous attention to self-development, relationship cultivation, and tool adoption—essentially a three-legged stool supporting our success and fulfillment.

Full Original Writing

A Learning a Day blog is one of my daily readings. I am often inspired, and the blog triggers me to think more deeply about a topic and apply the idea to my life.

The blog from February 4, 2025, Footballer Alchemy, resonated with me.

**

Footballer alchemy

One of the lessons I’ve learnt from following careers of footballers (/soccer players) over the years is that we frequently overemphasize the role of individual talent.

In reality, there’s a certain alchemy when we bring together the right player in the right team under the right manager.

Talent – especially of the precocious nature – helps a footballer get noticed and give them options. But if that mixture goes wrong, even the best of talents can flounder.

The opposite is also true. Players with mediocre relative talent can push close to world class in the right environment.

Applicable well outside football of course.

**

Relating this to our individual lives, I contemplate why we often do not dedicate more intentional effort to improving ourselves and prioritizing our efforts to ensure that our team in life helps us be our best selves, contributes to optimizing our potential, and enables us to fit into the collective team in our lives.

Following the sports theme above, what if we approach our lives like a general manager working to build a successful sports team? In our scenario, however, we each are a player who desires to be a key contributor within our team, and the GM is responsible for building the proper chemistry to maximize our ability to contribute optimally to the team’s success.

What work is more important to us individually? As any successful athlete does, the daily dedication to their craft is relentless and of high importance. Beyond sports, we also expect people to work to be their best and bring their best every day. Consider your coworkers, medical professionals, and first responders and the countless situations we encounter where we rely upon another person’s efforts and expertise.

Considering ourselves and our life “team,” reflect upon these questions:

  1. Are you dedicated to personal development and self-care so you can be the best you can be?
  2. Who are the key players on your team that you rely upon? How is your chemistry within your team?
  3. What equipment is essential to you performing at your best? In my career and life, embracing technology tools to enhance and accelerate performance has been a non-negotiable priority.

While not all-inclusive, I will expand below on these questions with examples from my life, many of which apply to everyone.

Personal Development

September 9, 2024 | ncaCPA Fall Conference | TwinzTalk with coordinators Amy and Linda

Like any athlete who dedicates themselves to improvement and learning, we all must view our role similarly. We must always strive to take care of ourselves and be the best teammate we can be. We owe this to ourselves and others.

People on Your Team

Interwoven with our personal development quest is the importance of surrounding ourselves with the best teammates possible. A collective team that cares, encourages, and supports each other. This aspect is a lifetime of work and involves being judicious about who we bring onto our team. In life, the team is much larger and more critical than a single sports team, yet the analogy is spot-on. The chemistry of our teams is crucial to long-term fulfillment and success!

Never underestimate the fact that people need people. Appreciate and be grateful for those on your team who encourage and inspire you to reach your full potential. Examples include:

  1. Family.
  2. Friends, coworkers, and community.
  3. Those who serve us. Medical professionals, car mechanics, restaurant and grocery store workers, first responders, etc… these workers are our “customers,” and we are their customers.
  4. Communities of practice.
  5. Social media relationships.
Terri Tomoff and Dr Aziza Shad – The Focused Fight
November 11, 2023 | Worthy Rally in NYC | Andrea Sanchez, Bill Tomoff, and Kate Nasser

Audit your team. Do your relationships lift you and bring out the best in you? Do you do the same for others?

Tools You Use

As athletes are optimally equipped, are you “hiring” the right tools to help you navigate your life journey more smoothly. Prominent ubiquitous tools in these times include cars, computers, the internet, spreadsheets, and our ever-present mobile phones. Less obvious tools, yet invaluable in my life, include many technology tools that have enabled a digital lifestyle personally and professionally, including:

  1. Keeping current with Microsoft Excel’s three decades of expanded development and potential makes my professional life exponentially more productive and fulfilling.
  2. Adobe PDF digital documents.
  3. Computer document search platform X1 Search.
  4. Evernote note-taking platform.
  5. Social media.
  6. Evolution away from EMAIL and greater leveraging of communication transparency via Slack and MS Teams platforms.
  7. And most recently, Generative AI and LLMs such as ChatGPT, Claude AI, Gemini, and Perplexity AI.
Datarails AI Mention – Bill and Don Tomoff

(Conclusion in collaboration with Claude AI)

Just as championship teams aren’t built overnight, optimizing our life team is a continuous journey of growth and refinement. By intentionally investing in three core elements—personal development and self-care, meaningful relationships with those who elevate us, and the strategic adoption of enabling tools—we can create an environment where we truly flourish. Like the footballer who fits the perfect combination of team, manager, and system, our success depends on these elements working in harmony. The work of building and maintaining this winning combination never ends, but the rewards of peak performance and personal fulfillment make it worth the dedicated effort.

December 11, 2022 | Bill and Terri Tomoff IRL Meetup with Seth Godin
September 28, 2024 | Bill, Ryan, and Terri Tomoff, Olivia and Bo Hudson

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100 Blog Posts: My Story, Passions, and Purpose

I was excited to reach a personal blogging milestone at the end of 2024. During my 2023 involvement in the Brainstorm Road community of practice, I committed to sharing more through my blog, which was established in 2017. My frequency increased dramatically in 2024, and I was eager to have Claude AI read my posts and share insights about my life and what is important to me. Through my efforts, I leave a trail of thoughts and encouragements that may benefit someone down the road – trust that our experiences and expertise can be valuable to others traveling the road behind us.

After the compilation and submission were completed, I asked Claude AI to review the entire PDF again, break down insights into the areas of my title – my story, passions, and purpose – and provide me with a 100-word summary for my review and edit. I am delighted with the results!

My Story:

The incredible strength of your family unit anchors your journey. Your wife Terri’s unwavering dedication as the primary caregiver during your son Ryan’s cancer battles while nurturing daughter Olivia’s growth and dreams kept your family whole. Together, you navigated medical challenges while supporting Olivia’s soccer journey and celebrating every milestone. Your twin connection with Don provides a unique perspective, but your family’s resilience and mutual support define your core narrative. From competitive running to embracing new technologies, your experiences show how staying curious and united can turn life’s hardest moments into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

My Passions:

Personal development and learning are at the core of your interests, representing 37% of your writing. Throughout your career and life, you have been passionate about technology adoption, particularly AI’s potential to enhance human capabilities. Physical wellness through running and planking (since 2018) demonstrates your commitment to discipline. In 2020, after the COVID-19 pandemic impacted the United States, writing has become a cherished practice, helping you process experiences and inspire others. Your enthusiasm for kindness and micro-moments of positive impact reveals a deep passion for lifting others through small, consistent actions.

My Purpose:

Your purpose involves helping others grow while maintaining an unwavering dedication to family and community. Through #TwinzTalk on LinkedIn, you share insights and encouragements about personal development, technology, leadership, kindness, and expressing appreciation and gratitude. Your commitment to “paying it forward” stems from experiencing extraordinary support during Ryan’s cancer journey. Whether teaching, mentoring, or showing kindness, you aim to create ripple effects of positive change. Your mantra of “Changing the world, one interaction, one person at a time” guides your mission of making a meaningful difference in the lives of others.

We all have a story to tell that can help others. Document and share YOUR story!

(If you are interested in viewing a bookmarked and searchable PDF of the full content of my blog posts, you can go ahead and access that here.)

December 31, 2024 | 100 Blog Posts Book Cover | Lulu.com

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Special Love: A Tribute to Retirees Jan Bresch and Judy Martin Russell

Looking to enhance your life and find greater fulfillment in 2025? Celebrate and appreciate others, and volunteer and support a charity doing meaningful work that matters to you!

Today, January 2, 2025, I take a moment to celebrate and thank Jan Bresch and Judy Martin Russell for their recent retirement (1) from Special Love. Special Love is a charity that “provides a strong, nurturing environment for children with cancer and their families.”

  • Jan has been the Executive Director for the past 6 and 1/2 years (from July 2018), leading the organization through the uncertain times of the COVID-19 pandemic. She built an incredible team dedicated to the needs of the children and families they serve and successfully contributed to fundraising and strengthening the financial foundation. She helped position the organization for the future.
  • Judy has served as the financial administrator for almost 19 years! Behind the scenes (as a career accounting and business professional, I know this aspect too well), she “did the work” of keeping the financial records accurate and timely. Judy was often a smiling and cheerful volunteer at the events. Our family and I could always count on her upbeat and positive outlook on life.

My family has been blessed to have Special Love in our lives since the fall of 1997, after our (Terri Tomoff and me) son, Ryan, was diagnosed with childhood cancer on October 17, 1996. Camp Fantastic is the cornerstone program for patients that Ryan attended for eleven consecutive years, from ages 7 to 17, and has subsequently been a long-time volunteer counselor. Our daughter, Olivia, attended the weeklong camp for siblings (BRASS Camp) and served as a counselor. Since 2018, I have had the privilege and honor of serving on the board of directors.

The organization, its caring and dedicated staff, and volunteers have been a lifeline of support for countless families. For our family story, please read my blog post, “The Magic of Special Love.”

Jan and Judy, THANK YOU for all your efforts and the care you provided daily. You were dedicated to your work and showed genuine care to the families you interacted with. Speaking from a parent’s perspective who knows firsthand the impact on the children and families Special Love serves, to being a board member understanding the challenges of executing the mission, I am humbled and grateful for your work and compassion for the cause. The world needs more of your examples!

December 8, 2024 | Ryan and Bill Tomoff with Special Love’s Judy Martin Russell

I wish you both the very best as you graduate (thank you, Roger Federer) and move into the next chapter of your lives!

(1) I discourage the use of the word “retirement.” As tennis legend Roger Federer noted in a 2024 Commencement Address at Dartmouth College, he considers that he graduated to the next chapter of his life when he left professional tennis in 2022. Check out this specific bookmarked clip (starts at 4 minutes 40 seconds).

November 21, 2024 | Jan Bresch and Judy Martin Russell with Bill Tomoff
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From Handwritten Notes to Life Lessons: The Power of Saying Thanks

As the year 2024 is coming to a close, I am excited to be working on my 100th blog post since establishing my website and blog in 2017. I have chosen a fitting topic for my 100th post: Gratitude.

I am dedicated to adopting an attitude of gratitude and expressing appreciation for the good in my life. At this stage of my life (66 years old), I often reflect on and savor the life I have been blessed with. While persistent dedication, continual learning, hard work, a mindset of abundance and possibility, and luck are all imperative components of any success, the overall theme that stands out is the importance of quality, caring people in our lives.

If we pause and reflect, everything that happens to us is the result of someone:

  1. Teaching and mentoring.
  2. Giving an opportunity.
  3. Supporting and caring for your well-being.
  4. Being kind and generous.

When our (Terri Tomoff and me) daughter, Olivia, graduated from James Madison University, she prioritized time in the final months of her senior year to handwrite notes to people who had a memorable role in her growth and development from early childhood through college. On graduation day in May 2015, she mailed 50+ thank-you notes that included family, teachers, soccer coaches, and community support that touched her over many years. Her effort inspired me, and she taught me and her a lesson about expressing sincere appreciation for others who help us in our path of life.

Through our family’s challenges with our son, Ryan, cancer battles since 1996, we learned acutely the fact that people need people. The people who came into our lives and have selflessly supported us in countless ways resonated, over the years, with us to the core. We have been profoundly changed and now experience ever-present gratitude for the people in our lives.

In October 2024, I completed a book by A.J. Jacobs, Thanks A Thousand: A Journey of Gratitude, about his efforts to thank everyone involved in making his morning cup of coffee a reality. As explained on the book back cover:

“In hopes of restoring my sanity in these troubling times, I recently undertook a quest:

I pledged to thank every single person who had a role (however small) in making my morning cup of coffee possible.

I wanted to show how life-changing gratitude can be. So I thanked the barista, the lid designer, the South American farmer, the trucker who hauled the coffee, the folks who paved the road for the trucker, the people who painted the stripes on the highways so the truck didn’t veer into traffic. It turned out to be a surprisingly huge number of people. My gratitude quest has taken me across time zones and up and down the social ladder. It made me feel delight, wonder, guilt, and a whole bunch of caffeine jitters. It taught me the secrets to practicing gratitude, and how it can transform anyone’s perspective.”

I highly recommend this book and hope you find it as inspiring as I do!

Bill Tomoff | Thanks A Thousand: Who Can You Thank?

As we turn the page on another year and head into 2025, I am taking inspiration from Olivia and A.J. Jacobs. I will be undertaking a more intentional lifelong effort to thank the countless people who have helped shape me and my life’s journey. I am going beyond coffee and asking myself, “Who has played a role in the many aspects of my life span from childhood through school, personal and professional years?” Then, who can I thank in person and/or via a handwritten note? This project is undoubtedly an audacious goal, yet I will chip away one person at a time.

A.J. Jacobs | My journey to thank all the people responsible for my morning coffee

I am energized to begin this gratitude journey. My mission to thank those who’ve shaped my life feels daunting yet deeply meaningful. I cannot predict how long this endeavor will take, but each thank you will strengthen the connections that make life rich, and the journey will enhance my life fulfillment. Who can you thank today? The ripple effect of expressed gratitude might change someone’s life—including yours.

December 15, 2024 | Bill Tomoff Book Recommendation “Thanks A Thousand”
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Changing the World Starts with You: Personal Development for a Purposeful Life

Summary – Collaboration with ChatGPT

My blog post emphasizes the importance of personal development as a foundation for making meaningful contributions to others and improving the world. Drawing inspiration from quotes by Margaret Mead and Simon Zingerman, the post underscores that everyone has talents that can be harnessed to contribute positively. The twinz, Bill and Don Tomoff, encourage individuals to dedicate themselves to continual learning and self-improvement, guided by the question: “How can I contribute with my talents?”

The draft incorporates insights from two recent blog posts by Seth Godin:

  1. “Better at being better” (December 12, 2024): While Godin discusses this concept from an organizational standpoint, the #TwinzTalk message adapts it for individuals. The post highlights the transformative power of committing to ongoing improvement, which is both challenging and rewarding.
  2. “Our new school” (December 25, 2024): Godin emphasizes the cumulative power of small, consistent actions, likening it to the ocean being made of drops. This resonates with the #TwinzTalk philosophy that daily efforts can create significant change over time.

I leave a call to action that aligns with the #TwinzTalk theme: “Changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.” It ties the message back to our core values of personal development, urging readers to believe in their ability to make a difference through steady, thoughtful dedication to learning and sharing to lift others.

Full Blog Post

In our personal development work, my twin Don and I emphasize the importance of building a foundation of skills and expertise so that individuals can contribute to others and make the world a better place.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”

–Margaret Mead

“Using your talent, hobby, or profession in a way that makes you contribute with something good to this world is truly the way to go.”

–Simon Zingerman

We all have talents that we can contribute to making the world better. Let’s care and dedicate ourselves to continual learning. Then, we should always ask ourselves, “How can I contribute with my talents?“

**

Seth Godin recently published two blog posts that resonated with me. They encouraged us all to be better and that our efforts matter. The posts:

Blog December 12, 2024, “Better at being better.” Seth speaks from an organizational perspective, but #TwinzTalk encourages us to consider his encouragement individually.

“What truly changes the game is when an organization decides to commit to being better at being better.

That’s hard to do and difficult to compete against.”

Blog December 25, 2024, “Our new school.” Seth emphasizes that significant impact starts with small, consistent drips of effort. We all can make a difference! Believe.

“The ocean is made of drops.”

We all can change the world through daily drips and drips of effort.

**

“Changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.”

#TwinzTalk theme – Bill and Don Tomoff

2019 | #TwinzTalk Don and Bill Tomoff
December 11, 2022 | Bill and Terri Tomoff with Seth Godin

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The Power of Play: When Pickleball Becomes a Practice in Everyday Kindness

In my blog post on micro-kindness, I referenced the belief that the “presence” we bring to others is a subtle yet potentially powerful form of kindness.

“Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.”

When I autograph copies of Terri Tomoff’s book The Focused Fight, the quote above is one I share and always hold close. Carrying this thought with me changes how I interact with the world. Starting in October 1996, our family’s experience with our son Ryan’s cancer challenges has profoundly shaped us over the last 28 years.

Witnessing a child fighting a battle for their life will tear anyone wide open. Our family has learned the adage, “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” is a point to be serious about. My twin Don and I have encouraged throughout our lives and careers that “We take what we do seriously, but we do not take ourselves seriously.“

This leads me to the presence in our lives: Living a gentler lifestyle, not taking ourselves too seriously, and bringing positive energy to interactions while shining the light on others can create an atmosphere that lifts others. What is not to like about these types of people?

**

Enter the game of Pickleball.

In the summer of 2023, Ryan encouraged Terri to join him in a community pickleball social at the Crofton Swim and Tennis Club. Thanks to Ryan, the pickleball bug quickly caught on with Terri and me. In March 2024, Ryan joined the indoor club The PutAway, and Terri and I officially became members in November 2024. We are excited to play and share the love of the game with Ryan and our opportunities to play together and share conversations about techniques, strategies, and skills development.

An unanticipated benefit of playing at The PutAway has been the community of players who share our love of the game. We look forward to the conversations, fun times, and exercise!

The pickleball community and regular sessions have allowed me to embrace the experience in my style, which I love – cheering and celebrating others along the way while enjoying healthy competition. A few of my beliefs:

  1. An “ordinary day” is a blessing and a tremendous gift. When playing pickleball, I appreciate the health and skills that allow me to participate.
  2. I like to win, but even more so, I like to play against players who are more skilled than me. This means I often lose (a lot)! However, win or lose, I am constantly learning and striving to understand the game’s nuances to become more competitive over the long haul.
  3. I like to employ self-deprecation to put others at ease and have fun. When we can laugh at ourselves and admit our weaknesses, others are more receptive to having fun and not being too serious.
  4. I strive to present a light-hearted and positive mindset that celebrates the good play of others. A favorite quote: “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.“
Twin brothers with sign stating "A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle"
TwinzTalk in Berthoud, CO | “A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle.”

Over the past two days, I have had interactions that made my day and affirmed that my style is a rewarding form of kindness—even if I may not be aware of it. I trust that our impact on others is often far beyond what we know; thus, my emphasis on our presence in the world is important! Two interactions that brightened my days:

  • While walking to a court to join a group for a game, a woman commented, “You always have a smile on your face.” I was delighted that she took a moment to share this with me. Life will be challenging sometimes, and a positive attitude is not always realistic. But playing pickleball and having fun sharing my love of the sport with my family and others is a reason to smile!
  • I played three games against a couple who were strong players – losing 11-3, 11-4, and winning one 11-7. I played with Terri in the winning game; it was the best game we have ever played together! I was shocked that we pulled out a victory. In all three games, we all had fun, and I was learning. One player commented when we left the court after the final match, “I like your attitude and energy. This (playing with you) has been fun.”

The game of pickleball has given me more than just exercise and entertainment—it has joined us with a community to continue our theme of a gentle presence and micro-kindness potential to ripple into the world. Celebrating an opponent’s play or encouraging others reminds me that our presence can ripple outward in ways we may never know. Through life’s challenges and the joys of everyday connections, I’ve learned that bringing light to others ultimately brightens our path. Life isn’t always about winning—it’s about showing up with an open heart, celebrating others, and finding joy in the journey. And what I hope to practice and enjoy in the game of pickleball!

August 2023 | Ryan, Terri, and Bill Tomoff | Pickleball Social at Crofton Swim and Tennis Club