A longtime interest in my life has been kindness – to ourselves and others – and a curiosity about why kindness often seems missing in our lives.
Thanks to a chance encounter with Daniel Burns in the Akimbo Writing in Community (WIC) initiative that Terri and I joined in June 2020 (it turns out WIC evolved to become a tremendous gift out of the COVID pandemic challenge), I connected with Daniel and learned of his mission to encourage and spread kindness around the world, with greater intentionality. His mission ignited a flame inside me, yet now my determination to be more aware of and practice kindness has become a fulfilling integral part of my life. A few specific themes have evolved, which guide me every day:
- Excellence and Kindness. Live it. See it. Celebrate it.
- Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.
These encouragements have sharpened my lens of what I see in my world. I am not encouraging endeavors that are individually time-consuming, and the acts are often free for us to practice. Extending kindness to another person or the energy and attitude we bring to the world are available at no monetary cost and with only small incremental efforts of the time involved. The personal change that results from this mindset shift is fulfilling and life-changing.
Daniel and his kind-hearted team have introduced a global initiative inviting us all to be alert for and recognize kindness. Introducing KindLoook – “Look a little longer, with kindness.”
Here I will share two stories of kindness that happened yesterday – enhanced by my awareness of the moment/opportunity. Each of these were “This Made My Day” (#TMMD) [H/T to Rajesh Setty] moments that brightened my day, along with those involved in the exchange!
Saturday, April 8, 2023. My son Ryan and I went to Washington, DC, to attend the Washington Capitals vs. Florida Panthers hockey game. This game was the 10th of our 10-game flex-pack for the 2022-2023 season. Over the past two seasons, we have enjoyed the flex pack and have been blessed to attend every game. Each outing with Ryan is a time I treasure being with him, savoring our time together, and sharing our love of sports. Since this game was on a Saturday, we scheduled dinner at Farmers & Distillers, a restaurant where have enjoyed several pre-game meals. After dinner, we take a short walk to Capital One Arena and enjoy the game. The two moments of KindLoook that made my day:
Ryan and I shared a wonderful time together at Farmers & Distillers. Our meals and waiter service were excellent. When we were wrapping up the meal, a small mishap occurred that the waiter was very apologetic about. Mistakes happen, and I am diligent about not sweating the small stuff. The fact is, how mishaps are handled often speaks volumes about the character of the people involved.
The waiter (Darius) came by and asked to clear my dishes. Giving my OK, he picked up my plates and proceeded to stack two existing plates he was holding. When he added those plates to mine, a small container of ketchup flipped off my plate and landed face-down on the table. Darius quickly worked to pick up the container, but again a slight mishandling occurred, and the container landed face-down in my lap – on top of the napkin I still had in my lap. I was not disturbed and worked to get the container back to Darius to finish his effort of clearing the dishes.
As the situation was resolved, Darius was ready to move on with his task of removing three sets of dishes he held in his hands. Yet, he paused, leaned towards me, and expressed gratitude for my calm behavior (I am guessing a more common customer response would be disbelief or outrage?). He said, “Thank you for your kindness about that.” I was touched that Darius was moved enough to thank me for not causing a scene. Yes, wait staff have difficult jobs, but moments of kindness when we pause and appreciate the work of others might be the moment that gets them through their shift. Think about that the next time you feel moved to complain – could you turn to a moment of understanding, compassion, and kindness – and just maybe be a shining moment in their day?
The second KindLoook moment was in the arena. Ryan and I share the same seats for every game, so we notice some consistencies during each game. In particular, a concessions beer vendor would visit our section a few times every game. He had his routine down pat. This gentleman was hard working and serious about his work [I don’t believe I could last 30 minutes carrying the container of ice-cold beers and navigating the arena stairs, crowd activity, and the inevitable a bit too drunk unkind customer]. Clearly, he was working to maximize his compensation, but it was obvious he had the process wired and handled himself well in adverse situations.
I had never talked with this beer vendor, but thinking of KindLoook when I walked by him on the concourse before the game, I stopped to talk with him. Briefly (he was selling beer, and I did not want to disrupt his livelihood), I explained my son, and I noticed him at many Capitals games, and we were impressed with how hard he worked and how he handled himself professionally. I mentioned, “I don’t drink beer,” but I wanted to thank you for your efforts and the dedication you bring to the work you are doing. I then gave him a small cash tip and noted, “Please keep up the great work you do.“
His name is Caesar, and he said, “You have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you for taking the time to give me a compliment.” WOW – I am so thankful to see Caesar in the arena concourse and have the opportunity to share a moment of gratitude with him!
My twin Don and I often express our work as “changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.” Let’s join Daniel Burns and fellow kindness advocates in the KindLoook initiative and change the world one interaction at a time!