Throughout our careers, Don Tomoff, MBA, and I have prioritized and felt responsible, as part of our leadership goals, for developing the people we work with daily. How can we help others grow through micro-moments of engaging in a learning opportunity and pausing for 5 or 10 minutes to slow down and talk through a challenge or difficult concept?
Over time, everyone becomes stronger as the learning moments compound and then build exponentially over the long haul. Too often, we rush through our days, exclaiming (unfortunately, often proudly), “I am busy! I have too much to do to allow the luxury of slowing down to prioritize learning.” This is shortsighted and a colossal mistake.
Seth Godin recently released a Udemy course, “This is Strategy with Seth Godin.” In Lesson 27, “Toward a Strategic Practice,” he challenges us to think about how we spend our professional time. “We only get today once. It is the asset that each of us gets to deploy once—today. Is it possible to develop a practice of being strategic?”
Seth argues that there are three choices for how we spend our time at work:
* 𝗧𝗮𝘀𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗲𝘀 (most people) that can possibly be outsourced.
* 𝗟𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲. We can be writing specs and managing people who are following the specs (outsourcing possible – not done often enough).
* 𝗘𝘅𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗼𝗿. “To confront resistance. To become incompetent in the face of learning.” When we lean into these moments (maybe 5 minutes a day), we are truly being strategic.
Exerting emotional labor is the most important work. This is the 5 or 10 minutes that Don and I frequently encourage and challenge others to embrace the discomfort of learning something new. 𝙄𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙍𝙐𝙉 𝙩𝙤𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙮. Pictured below is a moment of celebration of learning with a previous coworker. Helping others enhance their skills is very gratifying!
2019 – Don and Bill Tomoff with coworker celebrating a learning session!Continual Education – 5 Hour Rule (Compounding impact)
Let’s empower ourselves by recognizing the critical importance of our choices with the time we are blessed with. In my blog post,Time Wealth: Prioritizing Mental Bandwidth in the Knowledge Economy, I discussed my time crisis and the resulting awareness that my choices of priorities were essential to surviving my son Ryan’s battles with childhood cancer and beyond.
Shortly after, a Daily Stoic email resonated deeply with the core of my message. The post, titled ‘Do You Dominate the Battlespace?‘ by Ryan Holiday, echoes the importance of our mental battlespace. He urges us to take control. He explains:
“All of these things are vying for what military strategists today would call “the battlespace.” Our mind is a contested bit of territory, with many people seeking to control what we call “the empire between your ears” – Why? Because your brain, your attention, is valuable. People want you to think about certain things and not think about certain things–because it’s good for business, because it makes you easier to control.”
“So you must dominate this battlespace. It is you who must assert yourself over yourself.”
“We too must grab the reins of our mind, set up boundaries against distraction, push away intrusive thoughts, tune out nonsense and noise. That’s what Stoicism is, as we wrote recently, it’s the gladiator stepping out into the arena of the mind, dominating the battlespace, controlling their own mind…because the alternative–letting the enemy dominate, letting your mind be controlled by someone or something else–is just unthinkable.”
This passage sums up well that our mind is under our control. Yet, too often, we give away our time by allowing our minds to be engaged in meaningless or dangerous activities. This is why we must be aware and establish boundaries to protect our mental well-being.
In addition to maintaining healthy boundaries around where we are willing to apply our precious time and minds, we must strive to continually learn and grow in ways that permit us to maximize the use of our time and mental bandwidth.
I have discovered several posts that resonate with the importance of managing our minds and being judicious about where we prioritize our time. Rajesh Setty is a favorite follow on my LinkedIn. This post, “One Approach to Cultivate a Beautiful Mind Garden,” was inspiring and thought-provoking. I encourage you to follow Rajesh and read his entire post, but consider this insight he shared:
“A beautiful garden has good plants and trees that bear fruits and flowers. It also lacks weeds that grow easily on their own. Removing weeds takes effort. If you don’t maintain the garden, weeds will grow, requiring more time to remove them. This means less time for nurturing the beautiful parts of the garden.
The same goes for the mind. Information doesn’t come with nutrition labels. When information enters your mind through news, ideas, conversations, projects, and work, there’s usually no filter. Your mind will use it’s previous capacity to process this unfiltered information even to determine the nature (good, bad, relevant, irrelevant etc.) of it. In the world where both people and machines are creating content at breathtaking speed, you can easily get carried away in one or the other content rabbit holes.
To make a beautiful garden of the mind, use the power of curation. In my life, I prioritize curation highly. I don’t watch news or read newspapers unless someone points out something relevant to the projects I am involved and something that’s within my sphere of influence. Occasionally, I let my mind wander by design to ensure that there is room for some surprise and serendipity.”
In addition to remaining aware and informed of our choices to prioritize our mind share, we should filter what we dedicate our time and energies to as best as possible. Here are a few steps to quickly help in assessing choices:
Do I need to be involved? Eliminating unnecessary involvement of your energy is the number one time hack.
If I need to be involved, how can I maximize my impact with the least mental energy and time commitment?
Will my involvement allow me to grow and help others in the future? Note that having opinions, being judgemental, and expending energy toward gossip and mainstream news are time sucks, taking away from making a meaningful contribution to ourselves and others.
Once I dedicate my time, am I prepared to make the best use of it, or am I doing something I love, like spending time with family and hobbies? Think of thePareto Principle, also known as the 80/20 rule.
A few additional resources that have resonated with me:
A Learning a Day blog shared two concepts that are worth understanding. For many decisions, we must be aware of the time we commit and contemplate, “What is the minimum viable information I need to get moving and get comfortable with a decision?“
“I use a simple rule of thumb for the difference between attempting to convert a directional answer into a precise answer—10x+ time investment.”
In our lives and with our #TwinzTalk initiative, Don and I have given ourselves a disproportionate advantage by seeking directional answers to get us moving forward. Technology testing and adoption have always started with a vision of the potential rather than a precise answer to the ultimate benefit. Seeking directional insight vs. [often unattainable] precision, we can reach more learning opportunities and possibilities to leverage technology.
“Barry Schwartz’sresearch showed that people tend to fall into one of two groups when making decisions – he called these groups satisficers and maximizers. Maximizers desire the best possible result, while satisficers desire a result that is good enough to meet some criterion. That doesn’t necessarily mean satisficers settle for crap. Their criteria could be lofty – but, as long as it meets that criteria, they don’t care about it being the best.
Barry Schwartz argues that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers as maximizers spend a lot of time and energy on many decisions that just don’t matter as much.”
Don and I both share the satisficer tendency. We have saved ourselves time and energy, while also being content with our decisions. Talk about a win-win!
Maximizing everything is time-consuming. The number of choices available to us is overwhelming. Settling on “good enough” is a gift we can give ourselves. If you have yet to see Barry Schwartz’s TED Talk, The Paradox of Choice, prioritize time to watch it. I guarantee a few laughs and several “aha” moments.
In today’s world, where information is everywhere and everything moves fast, managing what we think about and focus on is important. By understanding how valuable our time and attention are, setting clear limits on what we let in, and being careful about what we think, we can live a more focused life, get more done, and feel more satisfied. The secret is making smart choices on purpose. Our most valuable thing isn’t money or material possessions – it’s our limited time and brain power. If we focus on what’s really important and let go of the rest, we can build “time-wealth.” This means we have time to grow, do good things for the world, and live happier lives. We all have the power to control what goes on in our minds – so let’s make wise choices.
I have joined an initiative with Katy Dalgleish, Julie Rains, and my wife, Terri. We meet virtually once or twice weekly to discuss Seth’s lessons in “This is Strategy.”
While we quickly cover a lot of ground, and Seth’s messages deserve greater focus and discussion, I enjoy the process from the perspective that “we never know where thoughts/ideas will collide,” and a practical use application will surface.
During a drive to Ocean City, MD, for the Maryland Government Finance Officers Association (MDGFOA) conference, I was contemplating Seth’s video five, which highlighted “16 questions to begin” as we approach the work of strategy.
While Don and I find our personal development work very compelling, convincing others of the value of committing their time to investing in themselves is a huge obstacle. As Seth notes in video five, “They don’t know what you know. They don’t want what you want.” These two sentences sat with me while we were driving and talking about the presentation Don would share over three and one-half hours starting at 1:00 PM.
How could we modify the presentation to turn the attention of the attendees and emphasize our mission is to enhance their professional performance and ability to contribute exponentially?
June 26, 2024 | Don and Bill Tomoff at Maryland Government Finance Officers Association Conference
Within the 16 questions, the following five reminded me that answers to these questions might help inspire the attendees to dedicate themselves to embracing personal growth. With each question, I have added brief thoughts on how our work impacts those on the receiving side:
Am I changing someone’s status quo?
Learning and development do change someone’s status quo. Embracing the initiative of personal growth is a commitment and a change that many find difficult. It often involves discomfort and requires time prioritization involving tradeoffs we would rather not deal with. The easy answer is to avoid changing anything in our daily lives that is already working for us.
Why would anyone voluntarily choose to be part of this work?
If you ask anyone, “Would you like to improve your critical thinking, skill set, and ability to contribute more significantly?” Most people would respond with a resounding “YES!” Choosing this more challenging yet rewarding path of personal development will change your life as the daily effort compounds over time, and the gratifying reward of growth becomes a part of your daily life.
What will they tell their colleagues?
Don and I think the magic can begin when word of mouth spreads to colleagues. As we learn and experience the rewards of learning, helping others must become an individual practice. Avid learners love to help others by sharing their expertise. And when we teach, we learn more.
Who gains in status, affiliation and power by supporting this work?
When personal development is embraced, the enhanced talents are noticed in the long run. By their example, learners inspire others to learn and can be recognized for their contributing abilities. The learner reaches levels of performance that are noticed by others. As learners are noticed, their status, affiliation, and power will grow.
Will early support translate into more support later?
Early support and the possible success that others achieve can elevate word-of-mouth and create a snowball of support as even more learn about successes achieved because of an individual decision to invest in themselves. Witnessing the growth of others and the successes they reach is very gratifying for Don and me.
We hoped to change the “vibe” of the presentation, so we started with a heartfelt question. This start was as if we were sitting down and sharing a sincere conversation, saying, “We are on your side, and we want to help you.”
“Before we get started, I would like everyone to take a minute and reflect on the following: “What are two or three of the most important things in your life? Not only professionally, but overall.”
Posing this question and the ensuing brief conversation about “What is important to YOU?” made the audience more curious and receptive.
The responses we have received were in line with our thoughts and included the following:
Family
Focusing on self-care
Enjoying hobbies
Making a difference
Feeling a greater purpose
“Our goal today? We want to help you reclaim your time to enable you to prioritize more time for the most important aspects of your life.”
Then, towards the end of the day, to wrap the session, Don reiterated:
“Remember, the overall theme of what we are doing today: We want to help you reclaim your time for the most important things in your life.”
The session and the audience engagement were inspiring. Had our last-minute modification to starting the presentation made a difference for the entire day? We believe so and plan to continue using and refining this change in future presentations!
During our debrief of the presentation, Don and I agreed that starting with the personal question, “What is most important to you?” changed the tone of the entire day. The attendees’ engagement during the session and one-on-one discussions afterward led us to conclude that we must build this momentum into the future!
To help evaluate and evolve the approach in the future, I collaborated with ChatGPT to assess our thoughts and then asked for suggestions for improvement. The response from ChatGPT has spurred our creativity. The prompt and response are provided below.
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Collaboration with ChatGPT
Prompt:
My twin Don and I are working on modifying the kickoff to our discussions about technology and gen AI adoption (e.g., ChatGPT) when making presentations. Focusing on the audience and asking them to consider what is most important in their lives is a way to increase interest and curiosity and ultimately encourage the adoption of our suggestions.
Please read the revision below and let us know your thoughts. You are an expert presenter who can inspire others to take action. Please take a deep breath and carefully think before you respond. This change is significant, and we want it to have the maximum effect on the success of our efforts.
“Before we get started, I would like everyone to take one minute and reflect on the following: “What are two or three of the most important things in your life? Not only professionally, but overall.”
Started the session with this question. Posing this question and the brief conversation about “What is important to YOU?” made the audience more curious and receptive.
Responses included:
Family
self-care
hobbies
greater purpose
“Our goal today? We want to help you reclaim your time to enable you to prioritize more time for the most important aspects in your life.”
to wrap the session:
“Remember, the overall theme of what we are doing today: We want to help you reclaim your time for the most important things in your life.”
Response:
Your revised approach for the kickoff of your technology and AI adoption discussions is well-crafted and focuses on what truly matters to the audience. Here’s a refined version to enhance clarity, engagement, and the impact of your presentation:
Opening:
“Before we get started, I’d like everyone to take a moment and reflect on this question: ‘What are the two or three most important things in your life, not just professionally, but overall?'”
Pause for reflection.
“Take a minute to think about it. What truly matters to you? Responses included:
Family
Self-care
Hobbies
Greater purpose
Starting our session with this question often makes everyone more curious and receptive.”
Transition:
“Our goal today is to help you reclaim time to prioritize what’s most important in your life.”
Wrap-up:
“Remember, the overall theme of what we are doing today is to help you reclaim your time for the most important things in your life.”
Thoughts and Suggestions:
1. Engagement: Starting with a reflective question is a great way to engage the audience and make the session personal. This strategy fosters a connection between the technology you’re discussing and the audience’s personal lives, making your message more relatable and compelling.
2. Clarity: By clearly listing typical responses, you guide the audience in their reflection and make it easier for them to relate.
3. Consistency: Repeating the theme of reclaiming time throughout your presentation reinforces your message and keeps the audience focused on the ultimate benefit of adopting the technology.
4. Empathy: Your approach shows empathy and understanding of the audience’s needs and values, which can increase their openness to your suggestions.
This refined structure ensures your presentation is engaging, clear, and impactful, helping you achieve your goal of fostering curiosity and adoption of your recommendations.
Throughout my career and then in life challenges (son Ryan battles with childhood cancer and beyond), I learned to deeply understand my time and how I prioritized everything in my life as the most important variables within my control. Time is a nonrenewable asset, and I quickly understood that I had to own my decisions of where I choose to prioritize my energy.
Thanks to years-long encouragement from my wife, Terri, I made a [wise] decision to read more actively to help my learning and growth. Since 2012, reading for personal development has become a non-negotiable priority. The mission is to allocate my efforts to make a more meaningful contribution to the world daily. This starts with owning my decisions of where I focus my mental bandwidth.
Where I focus, these three words are front and center for me. Since I started reading the philosophy of Stoicism in 2019, and have read daily since January 1, 2020. As I noted in a March 2023 blog post, “In Pursuit of Inner Peace: My Stoic Transformation:”
“The Stoicism philosophy profoundly influences my perspective and “how” I handle myself and my emotions daily. Striving every day to develop my mind and embrace the only aspect of life we all control – our reasoned choice. Thoughts such as “it is not necessary to have an opinion, we should be strict with ourselves and forgiving of others (no judgment), and we control our response to any external event – we are harmed only if we believe we are harmed,” are thoughts I hold close to my heart and work to live in practice.”
Embracing my reasoned choice. My remaining life’s work will be to strive to use my mind for good – developing myself and helping others by utilizing my skills and talents. I can and must do better. The work must not stop.
A blog post by Morgan Housel, “Lazy Work, Good Work,” inspired my post here. When we can keep our mind disciplined to focus on learning and good, we can prioritize time for reflection and creativity. Here is a sample of topics on my “do not do” list – activities I strive to eliminate or actively reduce by being aware of my behavior:
Gossip.
Expressing an unsolicited opinion.
Judgment.
Watching or engaging in conversation about mainstream news.
Involving myself in other people’s business.
The work regarding my do-not-do list is a never-ending process. I credit my reading of the Stoicism philosophy for helping me.
By reducing the above activities, I will replace my time (and mind) with:
Quality time with my family, friends, and communities of practice who inspire and lift me up.
Kindness to others and my world.
Encouraging others.
Helping others through micro-moves taking almost no effort. Social media engagement is an easy micro-move example.
Investing in improving myself (as the Optimist Creed states: “To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.”).
Be more patient and calm. We all are doing our best to get through each day.
A key component of “investing in improving myself” is prioritizing building buffer/slack into my days and intentionally moving more slowly and thoughtfully through each day. Make space for time for reading and contemplation. Morgan Housel notes in his article [Bold emphasis is mine]:
“Here’s a problem we don’t think about enough: Even as more professions look like Rockefeller’s – thought jobs that require quiet time to think a problem through – we’re stuck in the old world where a good employee is expected to labor, visibly and without interruption.
The point is that productive work today does not look like productive work did for most of history. If your job was to pull a lever, you were only productive if you were pulling the lever. But if your job is to create a marketing campaign, you might be productive sitting quietly with your eyes closed, thinking about design. The problem is that too many workplaces expect their knowledge workers to pull the proverbial lever – today in Microsoft Office form – 40+ hours a week when they’d be better off doing things that look lazy but are actually productive. The result is that most people have thought jobs without being given much time to think, which is the equivalent of making a ditch-digger work without a shovel. Maybe this is why productivity growth is half of what it used to be.
If you anchor to the old world where good work meant physical action, it’s hard to wrap your head around the idea that the most productive use of a knowledge-worker’s time could be sitting on a couch thinking. But it’s so clear that it is. Good ideas rarely come in meetings, or even at your desk. They come to you in the shower. On a walk. On your commute, or hanging out on the weekend. I’m always amazed at the number of famous ideas that came to people in the bathtub. But tell your boss you require a mid-day soak, and the response is entirely predictable.”
Starting with yourself, embrace a gentler and kinder presence with the world. Slowing down and being more mindful as you move through your day will be rewarding and gratifying. While you may appear “lazy” and unproductive, the reality will be enhanced productivity through leveraging greater creativity and adaptability.
2019 – Bill T and Bill G encouraging “Good!”France! Learning in Community with Karena de Souza
What is truly important to me is putting in the daily effort to refine my talents and develop my skills. The key to superior performance is quiet, steady dedication practiced for the long term when no one is watching.
I’ve learned many valuable life lessons through competitive sports participation. I credit competitive distance running with developing my willingness and ability to take the long view. My twin brother Don and I are obsessed with personal development and continual learning. We’ve pushed each other to invest time and money into our growth.
When my son Ryan was diagnosed with childhood cancer in 1996, my ability to tenaciously focus on core priorities was tested beyond imagination. My wife Terri’s memoir tells our family’s story of this challenging journey.
Over the years, I’ve pursued initiatives that exemplify my commitment to consistent effort and self-improvement. These include a daily planking streak with Don that has lasted 2,277 days so far, cofounding our #TwinzTalk initiative to share personal development tips, and dedicating myself to writing during the pandemic, completing four unpublished memoirs since June 2020.
I believe that to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world. Dedicate yourself to improving and helping others through small, consistent efforts practiced long-term. Find a tribe to encourage and inspire you on the journey. With commitment and belief, the compounding impact of your focused dedication will amaze you.
What matters most to you? Whatever it is, pursue it relentlessly, for that is the path to growth and fulfillment.
Full Original Writing
What is important to you? Is it important enough that you are willing to work on refining your talents and developing your skills every day? Every day, in incremental effort, where progress is not felt or noticed? Yet, the key to superior performance is the daily dedication performed quietly for the long term, done in the quiet of your life when no one is watching.
The best hack is to realize that there are no shortcuts to success and commit yourself to the steady drip, drip, drip effort to enable you to reach your best level of preparation. The process is a life-long adventure.
“You must build up your life action by action and be content if each one achieves its goal as far as possible—and no one can keep you from this.”
–Marcus Aurelius
“If you follow The Process in your life—assembling the right actions in the right order, one right after another—you too will do well. Not only that, you will be better equipped to make quick work of the obstacles along that path.”
Seth Godin’s June 16, 2018, blog post, “The danger of not good enough,” reminds us that it is a trap to dismiss others or ourselves as “not good enough.” The more accurate sentiment should be “not good enough yet.” Seth’s closing sentence is a thought we should hold onto:
“It’s true that you’re not good enough yet. None of us are. But if you commit to trying hard enough and long enough, you’ll get better.”
If you commit to trying hard enough and long enough, you’ll get better. If you are committed to the deliberate and steady process of investing in yourself, you will progress.
“Today, I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow, I can do what others can’t.”
–Jerry Rice
“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”
–Tim Notke
With a willingness to work hard (and smarter), you WILL exceed many more talented peers. You control your willingness to prepare. In matters of importance to you, be relentless in your dedication and daily focus.
The greatest attribute I have been blessed with and embraced throughout my adult life is a willingness to put forth consistent effort that is matched by few. My twin Don and I share this attribute and have pushed each other throughout our lives. Above, I mentioned competitive distance running as a prime contributor to developing my willingness and ability to take the long view throughout my life. Examples of deliberate focus and effort, as a lifestyle of investing in myself, include:
After graduating from college in 1981, I inherently knew that continual learning and development were imperative to my career and life success. Don and I have shared an obsession with personal development. We believe in investing personal time and money into learning. When portable computers were first available, I remember spending weekend nights in the office (Coopers & Lybrand public accounting in the early 1980s) tinkering around with VisiCalc spreadsheet software. This moment started a love of technology that Don and I have shared and leveraged throughout our lives. In our early to mid-twenties, we were alone in the office on a Saturday night while many of our peers indulged in more ordinary entertainment choices. With our dedication to competitive distance running (a serious endeavor until age 25) and professional personal development, we were comfortable on the less traveled road!
My dedication and preparation to find a better way to work became a career and life survival imperative when my son Ryan was diagnosed with childhood cancer on October 17, 1996, at the age of two years and two months. My ability to tenaciously focus on my core priorities was tested beyond anything I could have imagined. Terri Tomoff’s memoirThe Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, published in March 2021, tells Ryan and our family’s story.
July 2021 – The Focused Fight – Cleveland Reception
On March 25, 2018, Don and I started a 30-day planking challenge. What started as a unique challenge to help our physical conditioning has become a part of our lifestyle. As of June 18, 2024, we have done a daily plank for 2,277 days. On March 26, 2023, I wrote a blog post celebrating five years of continuous planking!
April 2018 – NYC Central Park Planking
On April 16, 2018, Don and I cofounded our #TwinzTalk initiative, where we share personal development encouragement and tips to help others in our network. Tip One was dedicated to highlighting our amazing friend, Rich Flanagan. Since then, we have shared almost 1,300 tips on LinkedIn, and we receive great joy and fulfillment from sharing our knowledge and expertise to help others.
On June 8, 2020, a few months after the COVID-19 Pandemic started spreading across the United States, Terri and I joined an online writing initiative called Writing in Community. While Terri dedicated her time to completing her memoir, The Focused Fight, I pursued writing my unpublished personal memoir, “Living Life…Off The Track.”I have now written four unpublished memoirs. Four years later, we consider ourselves writers and have met many inspiring, kind, and generous people who share the love of writing and being in a community of practice. On the other side of the pandemic, we believe our lives have been profoundly enhanced through our writing efforts and community relationships!
2024-03-13 – Bill Tomoff with Four Memoirs Written
“If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world.”
–Elaine S. Dalton
What is important to you? Dedicate daily effort to improving yourself and then helping others. You will be amazed at the compounding impact of small efforts consistently performed over the long term. Find your tribe that will inspire and encourage you. You got this. Believe.
When reading About The Author at the end of Emma Seppala’s book Sovereign, I noted:
“A psychologist and research scientist by training, Seppälä’s expertise is the science of happiness, emotional intelligence, and social connection. Her research has been published in top academic journals and featured in news outlets including The New York Times, NPR, and CBS News and featured in documentaries like Free the Mind, The Altruism Revolution, What You Do Matters [Bill T emphasis], and Bullied. www.emmaseppala.com and www.iamsov.com”
The documentary title, What You Do Matters, caught my attention. What we think and what we do are important. Think and do good. Be kind. Our actions and the presence we bring to the world matter.
In my approach to my career and my family, I have long embraced the core belief that what I do matters. Every action matters. Two quotes that guide me:
The personal development and professional work I do with my twin Don (follow hashtag #TwinzTalk on LinkedIn!) is stated:
“Changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.”
I am not looking to impact the masses. Still, I am dedicated to making the most of individual IRL, virtual, and social media interactions, and bringing a presence to the world that may influence and reach folks I likely will never know about. The truth is we often don’t know the reach and impact that kindness and generosity toward helping others will have. I genuinely intend to help my world through micro-moments of living my life through caring and doing the “right thing.“
That “I told you so.” That “Thank You.” That recognition for being first, or being better, or being different. You want credit. You want gratitude. You want the acknowledgment for the good you’ve done, for the weight that you carry.
What you want is what Marcus Aurelius has called “the third thing,” because you’re not content enough with the doing. “When you’ve done well and another has benefited by it,” he writes, “why like a fool do you look for a third thing on top—credit for the good deed or a favor in return?””
“You don’t need a favor back. You don’t need to be repaid. You don’t need to be acknowledged. You don’t need the third thing. That’s not why you do what you do. You’re good because it’s good to be good, and that’s all you need.”
Too often, it is natural to wonder, “Am I making a difference?” I have let go of the need to have affirmation of my actions. I choose instead to KNOW that What I Do Matters. Thus, the video referenced in the book resonated with me. I have provided the link below and encourage everyone to prioritize the hour of time to watch the documentary. Inspiration guaranteed! I hope you will feel compelled to embrace approaching the world and others with a kinder and gentler presence. You will influence others, and over time, you will be profoundly changed for the better!
Emma Seppala emphasizes throughout her book the importance of awareness of our thoughts and the impact that can have in keeping us from reaching sovereignty. The good news is that we can take control of our minds, prioritize our self-care, and bring our best selves to others and the world daily. Our thoughts build our actions and what we do. Consider, and hold close, this quote from Lao Tzu:
“Watch your thoughts; they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
The Chicago Community Trust Documentary | What You Do MattersCredit: The Chicago Community Trust Documentary | What You Do Matters
Ben Franklin’s 13 virtues are timeless and worth reflecting upon often. Walter Isaacson discussed the virtues (pages 89 to 92) in his biography,Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, which I have read twice in the past ten years. I highly recommend the book! A 23-minute summary is available on YouTube.
The 13 virtues discussed in the blog are worth keeping and referring to for an expanded discussion of each virtue. Nils and Jonas describe the virtues as key to Franklin’s success: “The key to his success was his continuous pursuit of self-improvement.” The 13 virtues are:
Temperance: Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
Order: Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
Industry: Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
Justice: Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
Moderation: Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.
Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.
About Franklin’s efforts at living the thirteen virtues, Isaacson notes in his book:
“Mastering all of these thirteen virtues at once was “a task of more difficulty than I had imagined,” Franklin recalled. The problem was that “while my care was employed in guarding against one fault, I was often surprised by another.” So he decided to tackle them like a person who, “having a garden to weed, does not attempt to eradicate all the bad herbs at once, which would exceed his reach and his strength, but works on one of the beds at a time.””
Hopefully, the three books discussed in this three-part blog post will inspire you to pursue your quest for personal development. Show up every day and dedicate time to yourself and your own growth. The Twinz are cheering you on!
The Salzgeber brothers’ focus on personal development resonates with Don and me. Taking the initiative for personal growth and committing to continual learning is our north star, and we strive to help others and bring them along on the adventure. Bringing our best selves to the world is critically important work that we must embrace and not leave to the judgment of others.
Since reading (and sharing often)The Little Book of Stoicism, I now receive theiremail newsletter and periodically review theblog posts (as I write this in April 2024, I note the last blog post was in November 2022) on their website. I discovered two blog posts that resonated with me, and they reminded me of two recommended books in the #TwinzTalk personal development agenda – Benjamin Franklin’s Biography by Walter Isaacson and Coach Wooden’s Leadership Game Plan for Success by John Wooden and Steve Jamison. Below, I am sharing excerpts from Nils and Jonas’s blog posts and references to the books that Don and I recommend. We hope these topics inspire you to prioritize time for your personal development!
John Wooden
As Nils and Jonas note:
“John Wooden was a legendary basketball coach at the University of California, Los Angeles. During his last 12 years as a coach there, he won 10 championships, including seven in a row, and including an 88-game winning streak.
Some people say he was the greatest basketball coach ever. Some say he was the greatest coach in the 20th century. Others say he was the greatest coach of all time. Period.
John Wooden himself would not have bothered about such titles – that’ll get clear to you after reading some of his quotes below. He was much more concerned about the process, about putting in the work, about doing everything he could to become the best he could be. He was a truly inspiring man and a role model for me personally. Here are 35 timeless life lessons we can learn from him.”
The35 life lessons shared in the blog post are all nuggets worth reading and holding onto. We can learn much from the wisdom of John Wooden. A few of our favorites include:
Number 5: Politeness and Courtesy – “…being a good person isn’t necessarily something we do for other people, it’s something we do for ourselves. We don’t need to expect anything in return. We’re getting paid well enough.“
Number 13: Stop Looking for Shortcuts – “If you spend too much time learning the tricks of the trade, you may not learn the trade. There are no shortcuts. If you’re working on finding a short cut, the easy way, you’re not working hard enough on the fundamentals. You may get away with it for a spell, but there is no substitute for the basics. And the first basic is good, old-fashioned hard work.”
Number 24: Don’t Compare Yourself to Other People – “It’s simple. Don’t compare yourself to somebody else, especially materially. If I’m worrying about the other guy and what he’s doing, about what he’s making, about all the attention he’s getting, I’m not going to be able to do what I’m capable of doing. It’s a guaranteed way to make yourself miserable.”
Number 28: Adversity = Opportunity – “Most people have heard of post-traumatic stress disorder. But did you know that the opposite also exists? It’s called post-traumatic growth – the phenomenon of people becoming stronger after a tragedy or trauma. They don’t just bounce back, but they bounce higher than they were before.”
Number 29: Want Peace of Mind? – “I believe one of the big lessons of sports for dedicated individuals and teams is that it shows us how hard work, and I mean hard work, does pay dividends. The dividend is not necessarily in outscoring an opponent. The guaranteed dividend is the complete peace of mind gained in knowing you did everything within your power, physically, mentally, and emotionally, to bring forth your full potential.”
Number 31: Strive to Maintain Self-Control – “Complaining, whining, making excuses just keeps you out of the present. That’s where self-control comes in. Self-control keeps you in the present. Strive to maintain self-control.”
Number 34: Improve the Team by Improving Yourself – “If you want to change the world, start by changing yourself. For the best way to improve the world is to improve yourself. Joseph Campbell said it best, “We’re not on our journey to save the world but to save ourselves. But in doing that you save the world. The influence of a vital person vitalizes.””
For twin Don and me, a consistent theme in our lives has been a desire to develop to the best of our abilities. In earnest, we recognized this fully during our college years…when it felt as if our career survival was at stake based on our academic performance (in the 1980s, this feeling was probably more true than today in 2024).
While not realizing it then, the love of personal development and striving to do our best was born during the college years at Ohio University. Competitive distance running on the varsity cross-country and track and field teams, balanced with the academic workload of pursuing a business degree (accounting major), consumed our focus – and we were each other’s accountability partners before we knew of such a term.
Purely self-serving during those years has evolved into personal development to bring our best self forward for our families and employers and our quest to use our talents and skills to bring out the best potential in others. My “Why” is now articulated as “Helping others is rewarding and provides me fulfillment and gratification.” Helping others is the best way to help yourself.
Thanks to the evolution of social media and communities of practice groups, the possibilities for connecting and learning with others have grown exponentially. We live in an exciting time with the potential of virtual connections and learning via technology (online courses, YouTube, etc.). With a willingness to invest in yourself, resources are abundant (often FREE).
Like Nils and Jonas, I now view Stoicism as a core component of my personal development quest. ChatGPT describes Stoicism as follows (to explain to a high school student):
“Stoicism is a philosophy that teaches us to focus on what we can control—our own actions and attitudes—and to accept what we can’t control, like other people’s actions or life’s unexpected challenges. It encourages us to respond to life’s difficulties with calmness and resilience, striving to be our best selves by practicing virtues like wisdom, courage, and self-discipline. By focusing on our own behavior and learning to accept whatever life throws at us without getting overly emotional or upset, Stoicism helps us lead happier, more fulfilling lives.”
If you are interested in Stoicism, I highly recommend The Little Book of Stoicism. Yet, now is when the journey becomes more fun! Don and I believe personal development should be a priority for everyone. Too often, we feel in the minority and cannot understand why individuals do not relentlessly prioritize time to “sharpen the saw,” as Stephen Covey shares as one of theseven habits of highly effective people.
We discovered that Nils and Jonas are on a mission of personal mastery. Their passion for their mission is heartwarming and inspiring for the Twinz. On their website, NJLifeHacks.com, they share their encouragement (and tie in personal development to Stoicism):
“We’ve started NJlifehacks in 2016 in the hope of making a living with our passion for all things personal growth and self-development.
You see, when we hear something that promises to help us become more confident, mindful, charismatic, kind, and loving versions of ourselves, we’re all ears. We can’t help ourselves.
Some people think we’re weird or too serious or too driven, but they don’t get it – this is our passion. We love reading about the latest bio-hacks, new psychological studies, or ancient spiritual texts by Indian gurus (say about Osho what you will, but this guy had some incredible insights). Since starting the website, we’ve easily spent over $5,000 on books. You see, when others read about the latest celebrity scandal, we read about the latest breakthrough in positive psychology research. As our father would say, to each his own, right?”
“We’re letting you in on a little secret. Just don’t tell anyone, right? We have found, after being on this path to self-mastery (for lack of a better word) for a long time that the best way to get more confidence, self-trust, certainty, and all of that great stuff is through Stoicism.”
“In one sentence: NJlifehacks is a personal growth company dedicated to helping people become better versions of themselves through ancient wisdom and modern science. We do this through our blog articles, books, online courses, email newsletter, and personal coaching.”
Don and I think it is important to reemphasize the mindset that whether or not you adopt GenAI and LLMs such as ChatGPT is YOUR DECISION. Studying these new tools and challenging yourself with personal use cases is a path available to everyone. You will benefit and be of greater value personally and professionally because of the knowledge attained and skills developed. Embrace a mindset of curiosity and possibility while also paying attention to the inevitable risks that arise. Learning is your secret weapon.
To stimulate your thinking, below are several use case examples that the Twinz have used. Once you have experienced the potential of immediate, ad-free feedback, we promise your creative juices will start flowing in ways ChatGPT Plus can compellingly contribute to your life.
Visiting a new location? Ask ChatGPT to provide suggestions for must-see highlights. During a 2023 trip to Normandy in France, ChatGPT was my companion for questions about the D-Day invasion.
Planning a vacation (i.e., My family of four is planning a trip to Walt Disney World in Florida – please suggest an itinerary for a six-day, five-night trip).
Ask ChatGPT to create a QR Code.
Using the Vision functionality, ask ChatGPT to explain the details of a product you have a picture of.
Ask ChatGPT to adopt a specific persona and then ask a relevant question where that expertise is required. An example would be to ask for estate planning thoughts from the persona that ChatGPT is “an attorney with expertise in estate planning.”
Specific questions regarding technology – such as “Please provide a brief introduction to prompt engineering and why it is important to prioritize time to understand the nuances of prompting when working with ChatGPT.”
Once you have found your own use cases, we would love to know how ChatGPT has contributed to your life. Personal use alone will change and enhance your life experience. Wishing you the best in your adventure!
BONUS: Custom GPTs
While Don and I encourage adopting “start narrow” and experiencing specific use cases for ChatGPT Plus in your world, it is critical to understand AI is rapidly evolving with new features and possibilities. The potential to feel overwhelmed and unsure where to focus your energies is likely. Please start, embrace ambiguity, pay attention to experts in the space, and accept that no one has all the answers to where the technology will evolve to in the future – only that it will evolve.
Within ChatGPT Plus, an exciting development announced on November 6, 2023, from OpenAI is the ability for users to create GPTs. OpenAI has created a store where users can sell GPTs. The GPT feature is not discussed in this ChatGPT Lite introduction, but if you made it this far, we are sharing the awareness of GPTs! Per the article linked below:
What are these GPTs?
“GPTs are custom versions of ChatGPT from OpenAI, its business partners, and thousands of third-party developers who created their own GPTs.
Sometimes when people encounter ChatGPT, they don’t know where to start. OpenAI calls it the “empty box problem.” Discovering that led the company to find a way to narrow down the choices, Turley said.
“People really benefit from the packaging of a use case — here’s a very specific thing that I can do with ChatGPT,” like travel planning, cooking help or an interactive, step-by-step tool to build a website, Turley said.
Think of GPTs as OpenAI trying to make the general-purpose power of ChatGPT more refined the same way smartphones have a wealth of specific tools. (And think of GPTs as OpenAI’s attempt to take control over how we find, use and pay for these apps, much like Apple has a commanding role over iPhones through its App Store.)”
