Looking to enhance your life and find greater fulfillment in 2025? Celebrate and appreciate others, and volunteer and support a charity doing meaningful work that matters to you!
Today, January 2, 2025, I take a moment to celebrate and thank Jan Bresch and Judy Martin Russell for their recent retirement (1) from Special Love.Special Love is a charity that “provides a strong, nurturing environment for children with cancer and their families.”
Jan has been the Executive Director for the past 6 and 1/2 years (from July 2018), leading the organization through the uncertain times of the COVID-19 pandemic. She built an incredible team dedicated to the needs of the children and families they serve and successfully contributed to fundraising and strengthening the financial foundation. She helped position the organization for the future.
Judy has served as the financial administrator for almost 19 years! Behind the scenes (as a career accounting and business professional, I know this aspect too well), she “did the work” of keeping the financial records accurate and timely. Judy was often a smiling and cheerful volunteer at the events. Our family and I could always count on her upbeat and positive outlook on life.
My family has been blessed to have Special Love in our lives since the fall of 1997, after our (Terri Tomoff and me) son, Ryan, was diagnosed with childhood cancer on October 17, 1996. Camp Fantastic is the cornerstone program for patients that Ryan attended for eleven consecutive years, from ages 7 to 17, and has subsequently been a long-time volunteer counselor. Our daughter, Olivia, attended the weeklong camp for siblings (BRASS Camp) and served as a counselor. Since 2018, I have had the privilege and honor of serving on the board of directors.
The organization, its caring and dedicated staff, and volunteers have been a lifeline of support for countless families. For our family story, please read my blog post, “The Magic of Special Love.”
Jan and Judy, THANK YOU for all your efforts and the care you provided daily. You were dedicated to your work and showed genuine care to the families you interacted with. Speaking from a parent’s perspective who knows firsthand the impact on the children and families Special Love serves, to being a board member understanding the challenges of executing the mission, I am humbled and grateful for your work and compassion for the cause. The world needs more of your examples!
December 8, 2024 | Ryan and Bill Tomoff with Special Love’s Judy Martin Russell
I wish you both the very best as you graduate (thank you, Roger Federer) and move into the next chapter of your lives!
(1) I discourage the use of the word “retirement.” As tennis legend Roger Federer noted in a 2024 Commencement Address at Dartmouth College, he considers that he graduated to the next chapter of his life when he left professional tennis in 2022. Check out this specific bookmarked clip (starts at 4 minutes 40 seconds).
November 21, 2024 | Jan Bresch and Judy Martin Russell with Bill Tomoff
My blog post emphasizes the importance of personal development as a foundation for making meaningful contributions to others and improving the world. Drawing inspiration from quotes by Margaret Mead and Simon Zingerman, the post underscores that everyone has talents that can be harnessed to contribute positively. The twinz, Bill and Don Tomoff, encourage individuals to dedicate themselves to continual learning and self-improvement, guided by the question: “How can I contribute with my talents?”
The draft incorporates insights from two recent blog posts by Seth Godin:
“Better at being better” (December 12, 2024): While Godin discusses this concept from an organizational standpoint, the #TwinzTalk message adapts it for individuals. The post highlights the transformative power of committing to ongoing improvement, which is both challenging and rewarding.
“Our new school” (December 25, 2024): Godin emphasizes the cumulative power of small, consistent actions, likening it to the ocean being made of drops. This resonates with the #TwinzTalk philosophy that daily efforts can create significant change over time.
I leave a call to action that aligns with the #TwinzTalk theme: “Changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.” It ties the message back to our core values of personal development, urging readers to believe in their ability to make a difference through steady, thoughtful dedication to learning and sharing to lift others.
Full Blog Post
In our personal development work, my twin Don and I emphasize the importance of building a foundation of skills and expertise so that individuals can contribute to others and make the world a better place.
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”
–Margaret Mead
“Using your talent, hobby, or profession in a way that makes you contribute with something good to this world is truly the way to go.”
–Simon Zingerman
We all have talents that we can contribute to making the world better. Let’s care and dedicate ourselves to continual learning. Then, we should always ask ourselves, “How can I contribute with my talents?“
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Seth Godin recently published two blog posts that resonated with me. They encouraged us all to be better and that our efforts matter. The posts:
Blog December 12, 2024, “Better at being better.” Seth speaks from an organizational perspective, but #TwinzTalk encourages us to consider his encouragement individually.
“What truly changes the game is when an organization decides to commit to being better at being better.
That’s hard to do and difficult to compete against.”
Blog December 25, 2024, “Our new school.” Seth emphasizes that significant impact starts with small, consistent drips of effort. We all can make a difference! Believe.
“The ocean is made of drops.”
We all can change the world through daily drips and drips of effort.
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“Changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.”
#TwinzTalk theme – Bill and Don Tomoff
2019 | #TwinzTalk Don and Bill TomoffDecember 11, 2022 | Bill and Terri Tomoff with Seth Godin
In my blog post on micro-kindness, I referenced the belief that the “presence” we bring to others is a subtle yet potentially powerful form of kindness.
“Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.”
When I autograph copies of Terri Tomoff’s bookThe Focused Fight, the quote above is one I share and always hold close. Carrying this thought with me changes how I interact with the world. Starting in October 1996, our family’s experience with our son Ryan’s cancer challenges has profoundly shaped us over the last 28 years.
Witnessing a child fighting a battle for their life will tear anyone wide open. Our family has learned the adage, “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” is a point to be serious about. My twin Don and I have encouraged throughout our lives and careers that “We take what we do seriously, but we do not take ourselves seriously.“
This leads me to the presence in our lives: Living a gentler lifestyle, not taking ourselves too seriously, and bringing positive energy to interactions while shining the light on others can create an atmosphere that lifts others. What is not to like about these types of people?
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Enter the game of Pickleball.
In the summer of 2023, Ryan encouraged Terri to join him in a community pickleball social at the Crofton Swim and Tennis Club. Thanks to Ryan, the pickleball bug quickly caught on with Terri and me. In March 2024, Ryan joined the indoor club The PutAway, and Terri and I officially became members in November 2024. We are excited to play and share the love of the game with Ryan and our opportunities to play together and share conversations about techniques, strategies, and skills development.
An unanticipated benefit of playing at The PutAway has been the community of players who share our love of the game. We look forward to the conversations, fun times, and exercise!
The pickleball community and regular sessions have allowed me to embrace the experience in my style, which I love – cheering and celebrating others along the way while enjoying healthy competition. A few of my beliefs:
An “ordinary day” is a blessing and a tremendous gift. When playing pickleball, I appreciate the health and skills that allow me to participate.
I like to win, but even more so, I like to play against players who are more skilled than me. This means I often lose (a lot)! However, win or lose, I am constantly learning and striving to understand the game’s nuances to become more competitive over the long haul.
I like to employ self-deprecation to put others at ease and have fun. When we can laugh at ourselves and admit our weaknesses, others are more receptive to having fun and not being too serious.
I strive to present a light-hearted and positive mindset that celebrates the good play of others. A favorite quote: “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.“
TwinzTalk in Berthoud, CO | “A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle.”
Over the past two days, I have had interactions that made my day and affirmed that my style is a rewarding form of kindness—even if I may not be aware of it. I trust that our impact on others is often far beyond what we know; thus, my emphasis on our presence in the world is important! Two interactions that brightened my days:
While walking to a court to join a group for a game, a woman commented, “You always have a smile on your face.” I was delighted that she took a moment to share this with me. Life will be challenging sometimes, and a positive attitude is not always realistic. But playing pickleball and having fun sharing my love of the sport with my family and others is a reason to smile!
I played three games against a couple who were strong players – losing 11-3, 11-4, and winning one 11-7. I played with Terri in the winning game; it was the best game we have ever played together! I was shocked that we pulled out a victory. In all three games, we all had fun, and I was learning. One player commented when we left the court after the final match, “I like your attitude and energy. This (playing with you) has been fun.”
The game of pickleball has given me more than just exercise and entertainment—it has joined us with a community to continue our theme of a gentle presence and micro-kindness potential to ripple into the world. Celebrating an opponent’s play or encouraging others reminds me that our presence can ripple outward in ways we may never know. Through life’s challenges and the joys of everyday connections, I’ve learned that bringing light to others ultimately brightens our path. Life isn’t always about winning—it’s about showing up with an open heart, celebrating others, and finding joy in the journey. And what I hope to practice and enjoy in the game of pickleball!
August 2023 | Ryan, Terri, and Bill Tomoff | Pickleball Social at Crofton Swim and Tennis Club
Note: This blog post duplicates a LinkedIn Article I shared on March 21, 2021. The pictures have changed, but I wanted to capture this significant milestone in my personal blog history.
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“Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.”
If you follow me on social media, I hope you notice my encouragement for kindness, gratitude, and helping others. This is, to the core, an important part of who I am and the value I work tirelessly to bring to the world.
Today, I feel blessed to share a personal post and explain how our personal lives do indeed impact our professional lives. Rare (or naïve?) is the person who can compartmentalize these in their life. In my life, I have been blessed to deeply integrate, by necessity, my personal and professional life. As a result, I am an enhanced professional and person.
Last week, my wife Terri published a book titled “The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey from Mayhem to Miracles.” She tells the story of our son Ryan, and our family’s, fights through childhoodcancer and young adult secondary cancers. Ryan is a 5x cancer survivor who has inspired us and countless others since his original leukemia diagnosis on October 17, 1996. Terri chronicles our family experience from her mother’s perspective. She was affectionately the “mama bear” that tirelessly managed and advocated for Ryan while I was working day in and day out to support our family and provide health insurance coverage.
http://bit.ly/TheFocusedFight_TerriTomoff
How do the personal and professional combine? Anyone who has had a life disruption (see quote above) knows too well the stresses of managing a career with personal demands that cannot be placed on a lower priority. Terri’s support of Ryan and our daughter Olivia was her only priority…24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Her perseverance and dedication allowed me to do what had to be done professionally. Yet…many families walking our path often lose or must leave their jobs because of the overwhelming responsibilities at home. The reality of what could happen, just financially, is devastating…on top of the unthinkable medical concerns that are ever present at home.
The professional tie-in? I was blessed beyond measure with my employers’ compassion, care, and support. The worst of the treatment YEARS was from 1996 through 2004, which started only ten weeks after moving our family from Cleveland, Ohio, to join Washington Sports & Entertainment. Mr. Abe Pollin and everyone I worked with supported me unconditionally while I balanced my professional and personal demands. The experience was an excruciating balance because my work in finance was deadline sensitive, but I had the best support that could be imagined…and genuine care for the “person” first. My perspective on life and work has been forever impacted in the way that Terri and I consider “post-traumatic growth.”
July 2021 | The Focused Fight Book | Cleveland Reception
In my unpublished memoir, “Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer,” I share the story of my daughter Olivia’s soccer journey, which unfolded while our family navigated my son Ryan’s battles with childhood cancer. I chronicle Olivia’s progression from recreational soccer through her collegiate career at James Madison University, highlighting that her path wasn’t a story of early recruitment, but rather one of persistent dedication that blossomed in her later high school years.
A particularly moving moment came in 2022 when Olivia, seven years after graduating from JMU, wrote a heartfelt letter to incoming freshmen about how soccer shaped her character and attributes for the larger game of life. She attributes her resilience, work ethic, and team mentality to lessons learned on the field – qualities that have proven invaluable in her post college career and life.
Through our shared experiences, Olivia and I offer guidance for youth athletes and their parents. We emphasize building strong relationships with coaches and mentors, developing a genuine love for training, understanding the laws of the game, maintaining disciplined preparation, and competing with both intensity and grace. We’ve learned that success stems from more than natural talent – it demands unwavering dedication and hard work.Above all, our story demonstrates that soccer teaches lessons that extend beyond the field. We encourage athletes to consistently ask themselves, “Did I do my best?” and hope that by sharing our journey, we can help guide the next generation of players toward their dreams and prepare themselves for the bigger stage of life.
December 2021 | Unpublished Memoir – Forever Changed – Book by Bill Tomoff
Full Original Writing
In December 2021, I gifted an unpublished memoir, Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer, to my daughter Olivia. After my wife, Terri had published a memoir of our son Ryan’s five-time battles with cancer,The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey from Mayhem to Miracles, I dedicated myself to telling Olivia’s story through my perspective of parents striving to support her developing love of soccer while balancing the impossible demands of caring for a child with cancer.
As I wrote the memoir, there were many emotional moments as I reflected upon her journey and the impact and contribution that her unwavering and relentless dedication had on our family. We fell in love with the game and watching her compete through the stages of recreational soccer, travel youth soccer, State of Maryland ODP soccer, high school soccer, and then achieving her dream of playing college soccer – starting her freshman year in the fall of 2010 at James Madison University. Many lessons were learned, joys shared, and heartbreaks endured for both Olivia and our family.
Through our shared experiences, Olivia and I hope to share thoughts and tips for parents and aspiring youth athletes who are traveling the road of competitive sports and dreaming of one day playing in high school and, if fortunate enough, in college. The path for Olivia to join the JMU Women’s Soccer team in the fall of 2010 was NOT an overnight success, and our family is forever grateful to Dave Lombardo and Bobby Johnston, JMU’s coaches at the time, for believing in Olivia’s ability to contribute at the college level.
Contrary to often popular belief, most potential college athletes are not identified at ages 10 to 14! Olivia’s growth and physical strength did not flourish until her sophomore year of high school. She played on the Junior Varsity team for her freshman year. Her U-16 through U-18 years were when Olivia developed fully into a player who would gain an opportunity to play in college. Highlights included:
U-16 Maryland State Cup Champions with her club team, the Freestate Phoenix, located in Bowie, Maryland. The team went on to be semi-finalists in the US Youth Soccer Region One Championships in the summer of 2008.
State of Maryland ODP Team U-16 and U-17 years. The team was Region One Champion and National Tournament third-place finisher in 2008 and 2009.
How did Olivia reach her goals? In hindsight, a daily commitment built into many years of sacrifice and relentless dedication to her love of soccer, the support of many people who supported and believed in her, and a significant amount of good luck!
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Before we share our combined thoughts on Olivia’s soccer adventures, let’s jump forward to 2010, 2015, and then 2022. Olivia graduated from JMU in May 2015 with a Bachelor of Business Administration degree with dual majors in Accounting and Computer Information Systems. Above all, the academic experience was rewarding, and graduation day was a celebration of five years of dedication beyond the soccer field.
The soccer experience was integral to developing her into who she is today! In 2022, the JMU coaching staff reached out to soccer alumni and asked them to send letters of encouragement that would be read to the incoming freshman fall class. Olivia was excited to participate and, being seven years removed from graduation, she had grown a deeper appreciation of the college experience she was blessed to have.
With Olivia’s permission, I share excerpts from her letter that was read to the incoming freshman class:
Hi Duke Dogs,
Welcome to preseason! You have worked SO unbelievably hard to get here, and you should be proud of yourselves. But the work is just about to begin. You will make lifelong friends and memories right here during this time, and at this university over your time here… We went on to win the CAAs freshman year, beat Texas in the first round in the NCAAs, and lost to UNC in Chapel Hill in the second round. What a ride it was. My championship rings have moved around the country and I have such fond memories of those seasons.
Suffering a few ACLs and other knee surgeries, I can still say that I wouldn’t trade my experience and what soccer has given to me. What I’ve taken from the beautiful game into the professional world cannot be overstated. It was my very first love, and heartbreak. I learned resilience, hard work, and that my will to win outweighed wanting to hit the snooze button, or coast in that last sprint ([the] last rep is always the best rep).
Translating this into the professional world, college athletes are simply created DIFFERENT. Many of you will take on some of the hardest coursework of your academic life so far, and have a limited amount of time to study. You will make it through, probably with great grades and be better for it. Employers love to hire college athletes because of our work ethic, team mentality, and willingness to be coachable. I cannot stress enough that these traits are invaluable to employers. But before you go out into the real world, ENJOY those fierce, competitive practices, long gameday weekends, and cold tubs (I miss the daily ice baths). My teammates knew that it was game on on the field, and we would all still be best friends after practice, and hit the dining hall and laugh about practice..
Build your teammates up, bring your best self to practice and game days, work hard to recover, and make each other better each day. It’s wild how fast the time goes.
#DukesAboveAllOthers
Olivia Tomoff #16, Defender
2010-2015
Accounting & Computer Information Systems
Solution Engineer, Salesforce
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Parents often share sentiments with their children and hope that at some point in their lives, the message contributes to the development of the person they become. Olivia’s letter sent to the JMU Women’s Soccer program was a full circle heartwarming moment. I was in tears as I read the sentiments shared from her heart and how much she treasured her soccer experience and its positive impact on her life.
During Olivia’s teenage years, when soccer was extensive and deep discipline was required, her Mom, Terri, and I often emphasized, “Your years of soccer and all that you put into it are bigger than the game. You are developing attributes that will benefit you for the rest of your life.” So, my heart was full as I read the encouragement she submitted for the 2022 JMU Women’s Soccer incoming freshman class. Twelve years after walking onto JMU’s campus in August 2010, Olivia was now 30 years old, fully appreciating the gift that soccer brought to her life. Terri and I are happy to see her commitment to the game rewarded with a gift of perspective and tenacity for working through life’s challenges. To pay it forward for the current generation of soccer players is a gift and a responsibility that she has embraced.
With this background introduction of Olivia, here are advice and tips that we will jointly share to help guide a youth athlete’s journey:
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People need people: You, athletes and parents, will not do this alone. Relationships are imperative…a mindset of continual learning and helping others will be necessary and rewarding. The players, families, and coaches surrounding the athlete and family matter a lot. Be aware of being surrounded by dedicated, competent, and caring people. For Olivia, we fondly remember and are grateful for the efforts of (in alphabetical order):
Steve Campbell – soccer trainer from U-12 through U-18.
Peye Garcia – State of Maryland ODP Coach U-16 and U-17.
Ashly Kennedy – club coach assistant for U-18 year. Ashly was an assistant college coach who helped prepare and transition the players from youth and high school soccer to the demands to be expected when they arrived in the college environment.
Dave Lombardo was the head coach of JMU Women’s Soccer during Olivia’s time with the program. “Coach” tremendously supported Olivia through her injuries and five years with the team.
Tony McPeak – club coach from U-14 through U-18 years. Tony was a former professional player who brought an incredible ability to support and inspire the players during their teenage years. The bonding and dedication the players developed for each other during their U-16 season was magical to witness as they pulled off an improbable Maryland State Cup Championship that propelled the team into eligibility for high-level tournaments where college coaches were present. The soccer world changed for these players during their U-16 and U-17 seasons. Thanks to Tony, the players grew exponentially in their skills and knowledge of the game during this span.
Mark Shropshire – strength and conditioning trainer U-15 through U-18 years until leaving for college.
The JMU Medical doctors and athletic training (led by Tom Kuster) program were invaluable in returning Olivia to full recovery and playing capabilities after her two ACL knee injuries.
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Learn to love training: As youth players advance into their teen years, a willingness and desire to train and work on skills, physical and mental preparation, will be a competitive advantage. Success based on natural talent alone will be surpassed by players with natural talent and an insatiable hunger for improving themselves.
“If you don’t love to train, you don’t stand a chance.”
-Steve Campbell
December 2007 | U-16 Orange Classic | Olivia Tomoff Game Tying Goal
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Study the game: Know the “Laws of the Game” and become a certified USSF Referee.
At only 13 years old, a fan of soccer is eligible to become a certified soccer referee. An added benefit of studying the laws of the game is that players develop a deeper understanding of the challenges and thinking required to be an official. Situations resulting in indirect kicks, direct kicks, corner kicks, goal kicks, penalty kicks, etc., become part of a player’s knowledge base. The potential for gaining an advantage against less knowledgeable players is compelling and can directly impact the players ability to perform during games.
And the pay is incredible for a teenager!
2006 | Bill and Olivia Tomoff | Certified USSF Soccer Referees
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Be disciplined: Be accountable to yourself, your preparation, and your teammates.
To play at the highest level of your capabilities, your preparation must go beyond the physical soccer skills and game readiness. In the off-season and during the season, strength and conditioning “off the ball” must be prioritized. Physical and mental strength are imperative parts of the player package, as they must be prepared to compete at their highest level.
Through her high school years, and when home from college during breaks, Olivia was blessed to work regularly with Mark Shropshire. Per his website, his mission is stated simply, “Forging Superior Athletes Since 1995.“
“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”
–Tim Notke
The article“Best Hard Work BeatsTalent Quotes” appropriately emphasizes: “This quote reminds us that no matter how talented someone may be, if they are not willing to put in the hard work and effort, their talent alone will not guarantee success. Hard work can surpass natural abilities and create opportunities for growth and achievement.”
Your dedication to your preparation cannot be overstated. Demand your best effort and lead by example to inspire your teammates and others. Hard work does not guarantee success, but relying on your natural ability to carry you is the path to not reaching your potential.
As the distance runner, Steve Prefontaine was quoted, “To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.”Do not sacrifice the gift.
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Be a competitor: On the field, compete fairly without apologies. You have prepared for the game moments. Off the field, be supportive and kind. You, your teammates, and opponents are blessed to be playing “The Beautiful Game.“
As a former referee, I enjoyed being involved in a hard-fought, fairly played game among skilled and knowledgeable players. Strive for those experiences.
June 30, 2008 | Olivia Tomoff | Maryland vs New Hampshire | U-16 Region 1 Semi-Finals
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Be a gracious winner and a gracious loser: You will experience both.
Ultimately, soccer and all sports prepare you for the bigger game of life. You will experience successes, losses, and unanticipated adversity. Staying humble and thankful for others in your successful times, learning through many forms of losses, and standing strong through adversity will set the foundation for a life well-lived.
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Did I do my best?: The question every person should ask themselves every day.
“Did I do my best?” is a personal question that people must ask themselves in every aspect of life. No one can ask for more from you. This level of accountability rests within us and is not subject to the influence or thoughts of others. Our best will often not be enough for us to reach our goals, yet if we have given our all with the skills and preparation available, we all should hold our heads high and get back to work improving ourselves to perform better in the future.
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Pay it Forward: Help others.
Whatever your path in life, it is incumbent upon you to pay it forward and help others who come behind you and walk the path you have taken. Olivia and I hope sharing her and my parent perspective will help others.
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The game of soccer taught Olivia that success isn’t just about natural talent – it’s about consistent dedication to the process of preparation, pushing through the tough moments, believing in yourself and always doing your best. Through Olivia’s journey from youth soccer to college athlete, she learned that practices, the extra training sessions, and the inevitable adversities were all building blocks for something bigger than the sport itself. They were creating a foundation for life success.
To every young athlete chasing their dreams: your dedication today is shaping who you’ll become tomorrow. The skills you’re building – resilience, teamwork, discipline, and determination – will carry you far beyond the field. Trust in your journey, give it your all, and remember that every practice, every game, and every moment is an opportunity to grow stronger.
Photo Memories:
April 12, 2008 | Maryland State Cup Round One | Olivia Tomoff Game Winning Header GoalAugust 30, 2010 | Olivia Tomoff Freshmen CAA Conference Rookie of the WeekAugust 29, 2010 | Tomoff Family Photo – Ryan, Bill, Olivia, and Terri | JMU Soccer Invitational post-gameSeptember 11, 2011 | JMU Women’s Soccer Website | Olivia Tomoff clears the ball off goal-line vs. University of MarylandAugust 19, 2011 | Olivia Tomoff at Villanova | Return to starting lineup after ACL rehab | Career Accomplishment
Social media often gets a bad rap, but my twin Don and I have discovered its immense potential for learning, connection, and personal growth. As James Clear recently noted, we experience what we expect to see – and our optimistic approach to social media since 2010 has proven remarkably rewarding.
One shining example is Rajesh Setty, whom I discovered in 2020 through a mutual connection, Tanmay Vora. Rajesh embodies what’s best about social media – he’s a prolific author, entrepreneur, and wisdom-sharer who believes success and fulfillment come from generosity and helping others. While we’ve never met in person, his daily insights on LinkedIn have become a source of inspiration and growth.
We view Rajesh as a “possibility trafficker” who, through generosity and kindness, plants seeds of opportunity and progress rather than dwelling on problems. His background includes founding multiple companies, writing 18 books, and creating thousands of “Napkinsights” – bite-sized wisdom that fits on a napkin.
Rajesh is one shining example of where social media has exceeded our early expectations from 2010, proving that with the right mindset, these platforms can be powerful tools for connection, personal development and meaningful relationships.
Full Original Writing
Don and I have relished using social media for learning, helping others, engagement, and connection. As James Clear noted in his weekly 3-2-1 Newsletter from October 31, 2024, you will experience what you expect to see.
“If you look for evidence that people are conspiring to hold you back and the world is working against you, then it will take you no time at all to find precisely that.
If you expect to encounter helpful people and experience a world that is working with you, then you find plenty of evidence to support that view as well.
The raw material for a sweet life or a bitter life is always there. The story you emphasize is the one you notice.”
Around 2010, we sensed that social media had the potential to positively impact our lives thanks to the ability to connect online with people around the world. We could not understand the depth or potential we would experience over the next 14 years. Yet, our sense of going forward with a mindset of possibility and “people aregood” ultimately became a self-fulfilling prophecy. We saw an opportunity to learn from and help others, and we leaned into gently moving forward as we figured out the nuances of the new world we now had at our fingertips.
Today, I am shining the light on and celebrating a connection who is an incredibly caring and inspiring human being. We have not met in person, but his wisdom, consistent generosity, and desire to help others grow are an example and standard Don and I look up to. This person is Rajesh Setty. He leads with tremendous compassion and care for helping others.
Soon after the pandemic started in March 2020, I discovered Rajesh when he was working on his bookSix Foot World. After seeing a post I shared on Twitter, another connection, Tanmay Vora, sent me a direct message, sharing that Rajesh was his friend and mentor. His encouragement led me to more actively follow Rajesh, and I have found Rajesh to be a genius thinker who believes success and fulfillment are tied to our willingness to be generous, kind, and helpful to others. This is a beautiful example of how social media can work, connecting people for genuine learning and connection!
Who is Rajesh? Please check out his “About” bio on LinkedIn for his background, but here is a portion of his highlights:
“My passion is to bring good and game-changing ideas to life with love.
My heart sings when an idea in my world comes to life that makes the world outside a better place to live. It could be a startup, a book, a framework, a speech, a course or a work of art – I have experimented with all of them. I have failed a LOT of times, learned from every single one of those failures and, because of that, I have also succeeded a few times on all the categories.
Starting 2000, I have been part of the founding teams of several companies (10x) in the technology and publishing space. Couple of them have got an exit, couple of them have reached the startup graveyard and the rest are making progress. The latest venture Audvisor (www.audvisor.com) is a mobile audio streaming app for micro-podcasts from over 125 world-class experts. We have over 3,000 micro-podcasts on more than a dozen topics on personal and professional growth.
Starting 1983, I have written and published several books (18x) with my first book published at the age of thirteen. Books include four murder mysteries, a collection of poems, a book on mathematics, several business books and two books on how to make people think. I also maintain a blog with close to 2,000 blog posts and have contributed to Huffington Post, VentureBeat, Sandhill.com, Yourstory.com and Salesforce.com.
Starting 2016, I have created around 2500 Napkinsights ( Napkinsight = an insight that can fit on a paper napkin ). i have also created a box of 101 uniquely designed thank you cards, two playing card decks where every card has a mini saga (a story in exactly 50 words each) and more.”
I look forward to Rajesh’s daily drop of wisdom and encouragement. A recent share on October 30, 2024 is a beautiful example to share [Bold emphasis is mine]:
We all know drug trafficking is harmful, but there’s a less obvious form of trafficking that can be just as toxic: problem trafficking. These individuals constantly introduce problems into your mind space—problems you can’t solve and they aren’t solving either. They insist on making these issues a focal point of your attention and demand your engagement, often using guilt or virtue signaling to keep you invested. This form of mental hijacking wastes your precious time and energy, leaving you distracted from addressing meaningful challenges where you can actually make a difference.
“Problem traffickers” excel at framing every discussion around why a particular problem needs urgent attention. They pull you into circular debates or endless analysis, preventing you from taking decisive action on issues within your control. It’s not that the problems they raise are entirely irrelevant, but their intention is not to solve them—just to endlessly discuss and amplify them. This not only drains your energy but also erodes your sense of agency over time.
On the flip side, there’s a small group of rare and valuable people known as “possibility traffickers.” These individuals are intentional about planting seeds of opportunity and progress. They are the ones who inspire action by focusing on what’s possible rather than what’s broken. Possibility traffickers don’t ignore problems; instead, they reframe them into opportunities for growth and improvement. Their presence is energizing and transformative, shifting your mindset towards constructive thinking.
Cherish those few “possibility traffickers” in your life—they are the people who help you see beyond limitations and encourage you to pursue meaningful change. They are the true catalysts for growth and progress in a world crowded with distractions.
Rajesh is most definitely a “possibility trafficker!”
Thank you, Rajesh, for consistently embodying what generosity and wisdom-sharing can look like online and in real life. Your insights, thought-provoking wisdom, and genuine desire to help others grow have created ripples of positive impact. You are showing that world that social media can be a powerful force for good when approached with intention and kindness. For anyone seeking to grow personally and professionally, Don and I strongly encourage you to follow Rajesh and explore his extensive body of work. His example highlights what is possible, reminding us that generously sharing our gifts with others can be transformative. Believe.
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To learn more about Rajesh, below are several resources that I have shared often. Follow his content for guaranteed inspiration, perspective-shifting, and personal growth if you embrace his encouragement. I hope you find his insights as valuable as Don and I do!
Rajesh’s newest book ‘Unshaken.’ See Advance praise below, from two of my favorite authors (Seth Godin and Tom Peters)!
For a complete list of Rajesh’s wisdom shared on LinkedIn, bookmark this link in your web browser – Thinking in Progress
A talk aboutGrowing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time. A sentiment he shares is now one I reflect on often – “A life-changing gift deserves a lifetime of gratitude.” Any success in my life has resulted from help from others, and I am now very intentional to be grateful and express my appreciation for others and the help that has come through my life.
Regarding the use of social media, Rajesh reminds us that whether we actively choose (or not) to have a presence on social media, we are making a choice. Often, before a person meets you in real life, they will search for you on the internet. What impression do you make before any IRL meeting? This impression is what Rajesh refers to asThe Zero-eth Impression.
I purchased Rajesh’s coffee table book, Napkinsights, in 2023. This book is an inspiring conversation starter.
I purchased and completed Rajesh’s courseThe Right Hustle: Fine-tuning the Art of Moving the Needle in 2022. The course was tremendous, and I believe everyone can benefit personally and professionally from his ideas. I highly recommend attending this course—and then revisiting it over and over, thanks to the lifetime access that comes with the purchase!
2024 | Bill and Don Tomoff with Napkinsights Coffee Table BookNovember 2023 | Napkinsights book by Rajesh Setty
“Here’s my endorsement: ‘I started reading and couldn’t stop. Elaboration: I’ve read scores of thriller blurbs which say ‘Unputdownable.’ I don’t think I had ever experienced literal unputdownableism until I read Raj’s book. I didn’t ‘learn from’ UNSHAKEN. What happened was that I was deeply affected. It caused reflection and smiles and frowns and discomfort and comfort. That’s the greatest possible praise, right?”
Author of The Excellence Dividend and many other bestsellers
“‘Unshaken’ is Rajesh’s unwillingness to be defeated. Faced with serious challenges, he still has the grace to take it on the chin. It is nothing short of inspiring to see Rajesh turning problems into opportunities, and in the process, give us the simplest lesson of all. No matter what, keep moving.”
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Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time (21 minutes)
At about 4:30, don’t miss “Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude.”
November 3, 2004 – a day our family will never forget. Duke University Medical Center at 7:45 PM – Ryan Tomoff begin receiving his bone marrow transplant, thanks to the selfless contribution of a donor in the Be The Match Registry (now known as NMDP – National Marrow Donor Program).
November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Terri, Olivia, Ryan, and Bill
Today, November 3, 2024, our family has the gift of celebrating Ryan’s 20th anniversary since receiving his transplant. Scott Harris, the donor later identified, and we all met on November 4, 2005!
November 4, 2005 | Ryan Tomoff meets donor Scott Harris
Reflecting back, the emotions are overwhelming for the care, compassion, and kindness, received by Ryan and our family. Scott Harris and everyone involved with Ryan’s journey is proof that everyone matters. Everyone makes a difference. On that 2004 morning in New Jersey, Scott went to a hospital to have his bone marrow harvested and sent to Duke. He and we knew none of the details – as 10-year old Ryan and our family waited anxiously in the hospital praying that all the logistics would go as planned.
20 years later, the emotions feel as if this was yesterday. Scott, thank you for your gift of life to Ryan. Our family is grateful for you, the decision you made to contribute, your wife Sarah, and all who supported you in your journey. We are blessed for the gift of life, and we live to pay forward the example of your selfless choice to donate your bone marrow to a stranger. May your action forever inspire others.
Calls to action:
PLEASE join the NMDP registry. YOU may be a lifesaving match for someone!
Who can you thank today for being a gift in your life? Thank and help someone today!
November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Family with Dr. Vinod PrasadNovember 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Family with Nurse Donna CurrieNovember 26, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Post Transplant | Ryan and Dr. Aziza ShadNovember 4, 2005 | Tomoff Family at Party for Life Donor Meeting | New York CityNovember 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day Certificate
A theme #TwinzTalk Don and I have lived by throughout our lives is “always be preparing.” This means embracing learning and personal development—for ourselves and to help those in our lives—and encouraging those in our lives to do the same.
“Luck is when preparation meets opportunity”
-Seneca
I prompted ChatGPT to interpret and explain the quote further. The response is worth sharing and is included at the conclusion of this post.
Opportunities will present themselves in our lives in unimagined ways. We should continually ask ourselves, “In my areas of interests/responsibilities, am I diligently and consistently working to be prepared to the best of my abilities?” The example discussed below could not have been imagined a mere five years ago!
“I have had exactly three (3) jaw-dropping AI moments over the past 18 months. One of them just happened.”
“3. Google’s NotebookLM
This was just in the past week.
This is one of these things where you have to hear it to believe it. You’ve probably heard how it can create realistic sounding podcasts out of long boring documents, with two people speaking.
But it REALLY SOUNDS like two people are talking. I’m not going to try to explain it, because that would be like trying to explain how cool a card trick was.
Go to the website, you can try it for free. Or don’t, I don’t care. But unless you experience it, you don’t get it.
What this changed for me was a new way of absorbing information. People love podcasts for a reason – they’re easier to digest and learn from than long research documents.”
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An opportunity for a use case of NotebookLM came to my mind when talking with Don about the hype and potential to consider trying out this new AI evolution. Since June 2020, my wife Terri and I have been active writers. I have written four unpublished memoirs. My fourth memoir was a gift to Don, titled Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes.
Using NotebookLM, I uploaded a PDF of the memoir (77 pages) and requested an Audio Overview. In only a couple of minutes, an audio file of less than eight minutes was provided. Preparation met an unimaginable opportunity, and the result was jaw-dropping! Preparation (I had a 77-page memoir in PDF format) met opportunity (the availability of the AI audio capability in NotebookLM), which resulted in the luck of generating a priceless AI audio overview conversation about the memoir! Don and I were stunned by the result.
I encourage you to listen to the audio conversation if you are interested in learning more about our lifelong adventure as twin brothers with similar interests. We believe the overview beautifully summarizes the unpublished memoir I wrote and gifted to Don in December 2023.
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ChatGPT Interpretation and Explanation of Seneca’s Quote
The quote by Seneca, “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity,” underscores a fundamental Stoic belief that what often appears to be “luck” is not purely a matter of chance, but rather a result of one’s readiness to act when the right moment arises.
Stoic Interpretation
Preparation as a Foundation: In Stoicism, preparation is within our control—it involves cultivating wisdom, developing our skills, and continuously striving to improve ourselves. This prepares us for future challenges or opportunities that are outside our control. Seneca suggests that we should not passively wait for luck but actively engage in self-improvement to be ready for any situation that may come.
Opportunity and External Events: Opportunity often arrives unexpectedly and is not something we can control. However, Stoics believe that by staying vigilant and practicing awareness, we can recognize these moments when they appear. Since the Stoics valued rational action, being prepared means we can seize the opportunity and respond in a way that aligns with our values.
Luck as a Blend of Control and Acceptance: The Stoic view on luck is that it’s not entirely random but a combination of being prepared (which we can control) and recognizing the external opportunities (which we cannot control). To Seneca, this is why what many see as “luck” is simply the outcome of consistent preparation over time.
By understanding that our “luck” is often rooted in our preparedness, Seneca emphasizes personal responsibility and focusing on what we can control. This aligns with the Stoic principle of living a life where we proactively build our capacity to respond effectively to the world.
Key Takeaway
This quote invites us to see ourselves as active participants in creating “luck” by being prepared and vigilant. Rather than waiting for chance, the Stoic approach is to live with purpose and readiness so that when opportunity strikes, we’re positioned to make the most of it.
September 9, 2024 | ncaCPA Fall Conference | #TwinzTalk Don and Bill Tomoff#TwinzTalk Encouragement – Always be learning and do your best!
In this post, I reflect on my year-long journey of daily intentional reviews, a practice I started on October 10, 2023. I’ve noticed a significant enhancement in my life appreciation by documenting five key areas daily. One area highlights helping others and shining a light on goodness. I feel more attuned to positive experiences that might have previously gone unnoticed.
I share two recent heartwarming encounters from a family trip to Kentucky and Ohio. The first occurred at KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky, where exceptional customer service prompted me to send a thank-you note. The second was at Home2 Suites By Hilton in Grove City, Ohio, where I acknowledged Bonnie, a breakfast attendant, for her outstanding efforts.
These experiences reinforce my belief in the power of recognizing and celebrating everyday kindness. By changing how we view life, we change our life itself. I encourage readers to prioritize daily acts of kindness and appreciation, emphasizing that even small gestures can create a ripple effect of positivity in the world. Who will you thank or lift up today?
Full Original Writing
Excellence and kindness. Help others and shine the light on the good in our world!
“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”
-Desmond Tutu
In a January 28, 2024, blog post, “Cultivating Contentment: The Potential of Intentional Daily Reviews,” I wrote about my initiative of prioritizing time each day to complete a handwritten index card where I intentionally reflected on five areas where I wanted to ensure I contemplated during my daily activities. Reflecting briefly and documenting with a pen and index card helped me internalize my day, appreciate it, and leave a brief trail of highlights. On October 10, 2024, I will celebrate one year of this daily process!
Because of my deliberate effort to highlight thoughts daily, I have noticed that my life is enhanced because I am actively working on appreciating each day and taking in experiences that in the past might have “slipped by me” in the rush of the day. My five areas, as shared in the blog post above, are:
Win
Gratitude
Stress or Tension
Help Others/Shine the Light
Activity/Personal Development
In this post, I will share two recent heartwarming experiences that fall under the category “Help Others/Shine the Light.” Inspired by Daniel Burns (KindLoook), Bruce Kasanoff (Help this person…), and Leanne Gordon (Thank you for…), I gain joy and fulfillment in approaching each day dedicated to looking for the good in humankind. I strive to participate in, recognize, and celebrate the kindness that essentially goes unappreciated as many of us rush through our days and only stop to acknowledge when experiences are unfavorable. One moment, one interaction, one note at a time, I will prioritize the time to appreciate and acknowledge others. While I cannot change the world, I might change someone’s day for the better. And for sure, I am changing my day and life! If we changethe lens of how we view life, we change our life.
Recently, we took a family trip to Frankfort, Louisville, and Grove City, Ohio. We visited bourbon distilleries in Kentucky and then attended a family wedding in Ohio! It was an active and fun-filled six days. While I did no formal writing each day, I always looked for people bringing good to the world. The process of being aware of moments of kindness brings me joy.
September 25, 2024 | Mark and Linda Misencik with Terri, Bill and Ryan Tomoff | Buffalo Trace DistillerySeptember 26, 2024 | Ryan Tomoff at Glenns Creek Distilling
How we conduct ourselves in daily interactions can have a positive ripple effect on others. Whether they acknowledge it or not, people treasure being seen and appreciated. We all have the power to make this happen for others. The trip resulted in many feel-good moments, and two notable experiences prompted me to send notes of appreciation:
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Tuesday, September 24, 2024 | Dinner at KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky
Shortly after we checked into our hotel, my wife Terri, son Ryan, and I went to a nearby restaurant for hibachi and sushi. After a long day of travel (550 miles), we ended with a delightful time shared at KOI Express. While we thoroughly enjoyed the meal, the customer service experience was heartwarming and made our day! Moments like these deserve recognition. We sent the following note after we returned home:
“To staff at KOI Express,
On Monday, September 24th (about 7:00 PM), our family of three stopped in for a sit-down dinner.
Our service, from start to finish, was excellent. We wanted to express our sincere appreciation!
From the smile and patience in taking our order, taking the initiative to correct a mistake on the bill (we did not notice), bringing us our meals – delicious – and assisting with our clean-up, your service was inspiring!
Thank you, The Tomoff Family
PS – and your Dept. of Health assessment posted – 100%! #WellDone”
[If you are ever in Frankfort, check out the KOI Express location at 101 Jett Boulevard, Suite 500]
September 24, 2024 | KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky
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Friday, September 27th to Sunday, September 29, 2024 | Morning Breakfast at Home2 Suites By Hilton in Grove City, Ohio
We had a wonderful time celebrating Taylor and Nate Kocan’s wedding in Grove City. Our accommodations at the Home2 Suites by Hilton were perfect! The morning breakfast routine was an excellent highlight (I love my morning quiet time). During the three mornings, I noted an employee taking great care in making sure the breakfast options were monitored and kept plentiful. She frequently cleared dishes and cleaned tables. With no fanfare, she set an incredible example of caring about her job and providing the best breakfast experience for the hotel guests.
On the second morning, I approached the employee and expressed my appreciation for her efforts. She was a bit surprised yet grateful for my comments. She felt good, and I felt good. All I had to do was get over a bit of discomfort in approaching her. We talked again on the third morning, and I learned her name was Bonnie. She was gracious and kind.
I sent the following note after returning home:
“Dear Bonnie,
Thank you for your incredible service (along with your team) in providing the morning breakfast during our recent stay (9/26 – 9/29/2024) at the Home2 Suites By Hilton!
Your attention to detail, maintenance of the breakfast area, and kind, helpful personality were a delight to observe. You all are appreciated—keep up the great work!
Much gratitude, The Tomoff Family”
September 27, 2024 | Home2 Suites By Hilton | Grove City, Ohio
“Always look for the helpers. There will always be helpers.”
—Advice from Mr. Rogers’s Mother
“If you look for the helpers, you’ll know that there’s hope.”
–Mr. Rogers
Over my life, I have found my dearest friendships and connections, and the people I admire most are those who genuinely care and lean into their life experiences and skills to help others. This is the tribe that Terri and I adore being surrounded by. The same theme applies to the work that Don and I do with Invenio Advisors and our #TwinzTalk initiative.
Last night, August 21, 2024, Terri and I had the privilege of attending the virtual book launch celebration for Erica Neubert Campbell‘s “The Mastectomy I Always Wanted.” The book was released on August 20th and is available on Amazon!
We ALL have talents and life experiences that make it possible for us to contribute to others. We can choose to care and be a helper.
Erica has the experience of losing her mother to breast cancer and is a breast cancer survivor. She is on a lifelong mission to help others who are faced with traveling the road of breast cancer. As Erica noted, [paraphrasing] “Cancer is a club no one wants to belong to, yet if needed, the club includes caring and compassionate people dedicated to helping each other.” She has dedicated her life’s work to helping others fighting cancer (a long-time Special Love board member and camp volunteer, and now Executive Director for the Pinky Swear Foundation, helping families fighting the financial strains of childhood cancer) and now courageously shares her firsthand battle with breast cancer, determined to help others become more empowered in their journey and find hope for moving forward.
Terri and I have known Erica for over 20 years. She is kind, determined, and relentlessly focused on helping others. Read her book and consider a friend taking your hand during difficult times, listening, helping, and letting you know you are not alone. You are not alone. On her website, Erica notes:
“As a woman dedicated to my work and family, I’m normally quite private. Yet, my vision is to help women and caregivers facing a mastectomy to be confident in their choices, free from fear, and see a better future.“
This resonates deeply with me. When our son, Ryan, was diagnosed with childhood cancer (leukemia) in 1996, Ryan, Terri, daughter Olivia, and I were thrown into the cancer community. I also lean toward being more private, but I joined Terri in our now lifelong commitment to helping others who are enduring the path of childhood cancer. Our determination is fierce, and we applaud and thank Erica for the help and hope she is bringing to others by sharing her story!
In March 2021, Terri publishedThe Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, with the unstoppable mission of “Helping one person, one family, at a time.” Erica, in her unique way of articulating meaningful thoughts, shared this beautiful, heartfelt quote that is included in the book:
“In a tough situation, few people wake up every morning and say, ‘I’m going to be resilient today.’ Most people under extreme stress wake up with heavy hearts but with a small quiet voice that tells them never to give up. Resilience is listening to that small inner voice and finding people and organizations to help you slowly turn up the volume.”
Upon completing Erica’s book, I paused and reflected with gratitude on her willingness to document and share her story to help others. On the resources page of her website, she shares many quotes that have inspired her. I leave you with two to consider:
“What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?
-George Eliot
“Once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through. You won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm is all about.”
-Haruki Murakami
Call to action… many of us have been, or will be, touched by cancer. “The Mastectomy I Always Wanted” takes you through one person’s journey, sharing the physical and innermost mental challenges experienced. Erica shares her reality and provides actionable thoughts and tips, such as how she shared her news (“I Hate Telling You This in an Email“), “Erica Health FAQs,” and “Top Ten Tips to Prepare for a Mastectomy.” While she writes from the perspective of her experience with breast cancer, the book’s reach will benefit anyone touched by cancer. Please do yourself a favor: buy this book, read, share, and discuss it with those in your life who may benefit. Please.
Erica, congratulations on publishing your book! Thank you for the help and hope you are bringing and are going to bring to so many breast cancer patients, caregivers, medical personnel, family, and friends. Your book is a critically important resource, spoken with vulnerability and courage from your heart. Thank you!
August 13, 2019 – TwinzTalk Bill and Don Tomoff at Special Love Camp Fantastic with Erica CampbellSweatpants and Coffee Image – Sharing Your Story Helps OthersAugust 23, 2024 – Terri and Bill Tomoff with book The Mastectomy I Always Wanted
