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From Recreational Soccer to the College Pitch: A Player and Parent Tips and Advice from The Beautiful Game

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

In my unpublished memoir, “Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer,” I share the story of my daughter Olivia’s soccer journey, which unfolded while our family navigated my son Ryan’s battles with childhood cancer. I chronicle Olivia’s progression from recreational soccer through her collegiate career at James Madison University, highlighting that her path wasn’t a story of early recruitment, but rather one of persistent dedication that blossomed in her later high school years.

A particularly moving moment came in 2022 when Olivia, seven years after graduating from JMU, wrote a heartfelt letter to incoming freshmen about how soccer shaped her character and attributes for the larger game of life. She attributes her resilience, work ethic, and team mentality to lessons learned on the field – qualities that have proven invaluable in her post college career and life.

Through our shared experiences, Olivia and I offer guidance for youth athletes and their parents. We emphasize building strong relationships with coaches and mentors, developing a genuine love for training, understanding the laws of the game, maintaining disciplined preparation, and competing with both intensity and grace. We’ve learned that success stems from more than natural talent – it demands unwavering dedication and hard work.Above all, our story demonstrates that soccer teaches lessons that extend beyond the field. We encourage athletes to consistently ask themselves, “Did I do my best?” and hope that by sharing our journey, we can help guide the next generation of players toward their dreams and prepare themselves for the bigger stage of life.

December 2021 | Unpublished Memoir – Forever Changed – Book by Bill Tomoff

Full Original Writing

In December 2021, I gifted an unpublished memoir, Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer, to my daughter Olivia. After my wife, Terri had published a memoir of our son Ryan’s five-time battles with cancer, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey from Mayhem to Miracles, I dedicated myself to telling Olivia’s story through my perspective of parents striving to support her developing love of soccer while balancing the impossible demands of caring for a child with cancer.

As I wrote the memoir, there were many emotional moments as I reflected upon her journey and the impact and contribution that her unwavering and relentless dedication had on our family. We fell in love with the game and watching her compete through the stages of recreational soccer, travel youth soccer, State of Maryland ODP soccer, high school soccer, and then achieving her dream of playing college soccer – starting her freshman year in the fall of 2010 at James Madison University. Many lessons were learned, joys shared, and heartbreaks endured for both Olivia and our family.

Through our shared experiences, Olivia and I hope to share thoughts and tips for parents and aspiring youth athletes who are traveling the road of competitive sports and dreaming of one day playing in high school and, if fortunate enough, in college. The path for Olivia to join the JMU Women’s Soccer team in the fall of 2010 was NOT an overnight success, and our family is forever grateful to Dave Lombardo and Bobby Johnston, JMU’s coaches at the time, for believing in Olivia’s ability to contribute at the college level.

Contrary to often popular belief, most potential college athletes are not identified at ages 10 to 14! Olivia’s growth and physical strength did not flourish until her sophomore year of high school. She played on the Junior Varsity team for her freshman year. Her U-16 through U-18 years were when Olivia developed fully into a player who would gain an opportunity to play in college. Highlights included:

  • U-16 Maryland State Cup Champions with her club team, the Freestate Phoenix, located in Bowie, Maryland. The team went on to be semi-finalists in the US Youth Soccer Region One Championships in the summer of 2008.
  • State of Maryland ODP Team U-16 and U-17 years. The team was Region One Champion and National Tournament third-place finisher in 2008 and 2009.

How did Olivia reach her goals? In hindsight, a daily commitment built into many years of sacrifice and relentless dedication to her love of soccer, the support of many people who supported and believed in her, and a significant amount of good luck!

**

Before we share our combined thoughts on Olivia’s soccer adventures, let’s jump forward to 2010, 2015, and then 2022. Olivia graduated from JMU in May 2015 with a Bachelor of Business Administration degree with dual majors in Accounting and Computer Information Systems. Above all, the academic experience was rewarding, and graduation day was a celebration of five years of dedication beyond the soccer field.

The soccer experience was integral to developing her into who she is today! In 2022, the JMU coaching staff reached out to soccer alumni and asked them to send letters of encouragement that would be read to the incoming freshman fall class. Olivia was excited to participate and, being seven years removed from graduation, she had grown a deeper appreciation of the college experience she was blessed to have.

With Olivia’s permission, I share excerpts from her letter that was read to the incoming freshman class:

Hi Duke Dogs,

 Welcome to preseason! You have worked SO unbelievably hard to get here, and you should be proud of yourselves. But the work is just about to begin. You will make lifelong friends and memories right here during this time, and at this university over your time here… We went on to win the CAAs freshman year, beat Texas in the first round in the NCAAs, and lost to UNC in Chapel Hill in the second round. What a ride it was. My championship rings have moved around the country and I have such fond memories of those seasons.

Suffering a few ACLs and other knee surgeries, I can still say that I wouldn’t trade my experience and what soccer has given to me. What I’ve taken from the beautiful game into the professional world cannot be overstated. It was my very first love, and heartbreak. I learned resilience, hard work, and that my will to win outweighed wanting to hit the snooze button, or coast in that last sprint ([the] last rep is always the best rep).

Translating this into the professional world, college athletes are simply created DIFFERENT. Many of you will take on some of the hardest coursework of your academic life so far, and have a limited amount of time to study. You will make it through, probably with great grades and be better for it. Employers love to hire college athletes because of our work ethic, team mentality, and willingness to be coachable. I cannot stress enough that these traits are invaluable to employers. But before you go out into the real world, ENJOY those fierce, competitive practices, long gameday weekends, and cold tubs (I miss the daily ice baths). My teammates knew that it was game on on the field, and we would all still be best friends after practice, and hit the dining hall and laugh about practice..

Build your teammates up, bring your best self to practice and game days, work hard to recover, and make each other better each day. It’s wild how fast the time goes.

#DukesAboveAllOthers

Olivia Tomoff #16, Defender

2010-2015

Accounting & Computer Information Systems

Solution Engineer, Salesforce

**

Parents often share sentiments with their children and hope that at some point in their lives, the message contributes to the development of the person they become. Olivia’s letter sent to the JMU Women’s Soccer program was a full circle heartwarming moment. I was in tears as I read the sentiments shared from her heart and how much she treasured her soccer experience and its positive impact on her life.

During Olivia’s teenage years, when soccer was extensive and deep discipline was required, her Mom, Terri, and I often emphasized, “Your years of soccer and all that you put into it are bigger than the game. You are developing attributes that will benefit you for the rest of your life.” So, my heart was full as I read the encouragement she submitted for the 2022 JMU Women’s Soccer incoming freshman class. Twelve years after walking onto JMU’s campus in August 2010, Olivia was now 30 years old, fully appreciating the gift that soccer brought to her life. Terri and I are happy to see her commitment to the game rewarded with a gift of perspective and tenacity for working through life’s challenges. To pay it forward for the current generation of soccer players is a gift and a responsibility that she has embraced.

With this background introduction of Olivia, here are advice and tips that we will jointly share to help guide a youth athlete’s journey:

**

People need people: You, athletes and parents, will not do this alone. Relationships are imperative…a mindset of continual learning and helping others will be necessary and rewarding. The players, families, and coaches surrounding the athlete and family matter a lot. Be aware of being surrounded by dedicated, competent, and caring people. For Olivia, we fondly remember and are grateful for the efforts of (in alphabetical order):

  • Steve Campbell – soccer trainer from U-12 through U-18.
  • Peye Garcia – State of Maryland ODP Coach U-16 and U-17.
  • Ashly Kennedy – club coach assistant for U-18 year. Ashly was an assistant college coach who helped prepare and transition the players from youth and high school soccer to the demands to be expected when they arrived in the college environment.
  • Tony McPeak – club coach from U-14 through U-18 years. Tony was a former professional player who brought an incredible ability to support and inspire the players during their teenage years. The bonding and dedication the players developed for each other during their U-16 season was magical to witness as they pulled off an improbable Maryland State Cup Championship that propelled the team into eligibility for high-level tournaments where college coaches were present. The soccer world changed for these players during their U-16 and U-17 seasons. Thanks to Tony, the players grew exponentially in their skills and knowledge of the game during this span.
  • Mark Shropshire – strength and conditioning trainer U-15 through U-18 years until leaving for college.

**

Learn to love training: As youth players advance into their teen years, a willingness and desire to train and work on skills, physical and mental preparation, will be a competitive advantage. Success based on natural talent alone will be surpassed by players with natural talent and an insatiable hunger for improving themselves.

“If you don’t love to train, you don’t stand a chance.”

-Steve Campbell

December 2007 | U-16 Orange Classic | Olivia Tomoff Game Tying Goal

**

Study the game: Know the “Laws of the Game” and become a certified USSF Referee.

At only 13 years old, a fan of soccer is eligible to become a certified soccer referee. An added benefit of studying the laws of the game is that players develop a deeper understanding of the challenges and thinking required to be an official. Situations resulting in indirect kicks, direct kicks, corner kicks, goal kicks, penalty kicks, etc., become part of a player’s knowledge base. The potential for gaining an advantage against less knowledgeable players is compelling and can directly impact the players ability to perform during games.

And the pay is incredible for a teenager!

2006 | Bill and Olivia Tomoff | Certified USSF Soccer Referees

**

Be disciplined: Be accountable to yourself, your preparation, and your teammates.

To play at the highest level of your capabilities, your preparation must go beyond the physical soccer skills and game readiness. In the off-season and during the season, strength and conditioning “off the ball” must be prioritized. Physical and mental strength are imperative parts of the player package, as they must be prepared to compete at their highest level.

Through her high school years, and when home from college during breaks, Olivia was blessed to work regularly with Mark Shropshire. Per his website, his mission is stated simply, “Forging Superior Athletes Since 1995.“

“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”

–Tim Notke

The article “Best Hard Work Beats Talent Quotes” appropriately emphasizes: “This quote reminds us that no matter how talented someone may be, if they are not willing to put in the hard work and effort, their talent alone will not guarantee success. Hard work can surpass natural abilities and create opportunities for growth and achievement.”

Your dedication to your preparation cannot be overstated. Demand your best effort and lead by example to inspire your teammates and others. Hard work does not guarantee success, but relying on your natural ability to carry you is the path to not reaching your potential.

As the distance runner, Steve Prefontaine was quoted, “To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.”Do not sacrifice the gift.

**

Be a competitor: On the field, compete fairly without apologies. You have prepared for the game moments. Off the field, be supportive and kind. You, your teammates, and opponents are blessed to be playing “The Beautiful Game.“

As a former referee, I enjoyed being involved in a hard-fought, fairly played game among skilled and knowledgeable players. Strive for those experiences.

June 30, 2008 | Olivia Tomoff | Maryland vs New Hampshire | U-16 Region 1 Semi-Finals

**

Be a gracious winner and a gracious loser: You will experience both.

Ultimately, soccer and all sports prepare you for the bigger game of life. You will experience successes, losses, and unanticipated adversity. Staying humble and thankful for others in your successful times, learning through many forms of losses, and standing strong through adversity will set the foundation for a life well-lived.

**

Did I do my best?: The question every person should ask themselves every day.

“Did I do my best?” is a personal question that people must ask themselves in every aspect of life. No one can ask for more from you. This level of accountability rests within us and is not subject to the influence or thoughts of others. Our best will often not be enough for us to reach our goals, yet if we have given our all with the skills and preparation available, we all should hold our heads high and get back to work improving ourselves to perform better in the future.

**

Pay it Forward: Help others.

Whatever your path in life, it is incumbent upon you to pay it forward and help others who come behind you and walk the path you have taken. Olivia and I hope sharing her and my parent perspective will help others.

**

The game of soccer taught Olivia that success isn’t just about natural talent – it’s about consistent dedication to the process of preparation, pushing through the tough moments, believing in yourself and always doing your best. Through Olivia’s journey from youth soccer to college athlete, she learned that practices, the extra training sessions, and the inevitable adversities were all building blocks for something bigger than the sport itself. They were creating a foundation for life success. 

To every young athlete chasing their dreams: your dedication today is shaping who you’ll become tomorrow. The skills you’re building – resilience, teamwork, discipline, and determination – will carry you far beyond the field. Trust in your journey, give it your all, and remember that every practice, every game, and every moment is an opportunity to grow stronger.

Photo Memories:

April 12, 2008 | Maryland State Cup Round One | Olivia Tomoff Game Winning Header Goal
August 30, 2010 | Olivia Tomoff Freshmen CAA Conference Rookie of the Week
August 29, 2010 | Tomoff Family Photo – Ryan, Bill, Olivia, and Terri | JMU Soccer Invitational post-game
September 11, 2011 | JMU Women’s Soccer Website | Olivia Tomoff clears the ball off goal-line vs. University of Maryland
August 19, 2011 | Olivia Tomoff at Villanova | Return to starting lineup after ACL rehab | Career Accomplishment

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The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Social Media Optimism: Celebrating Rajesh Setty – A Story of Connection and Growth

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

Social media often gets a bad rap, but my twin Don and I have discovered its immense potential for learning, connection, and personal growth. As James Clear recently noted, we experience what we expect to see – and our optimistic approach to social media since 2010 has proven remarkably rewarding.

One shining example is Rajesh Setty, whom I discovered in 2020 through a mutual connection, Tanmay Vora. Rajesh embodies what’s best about social media – he’s a prolific author, entrepreneur, and wisdom-sharer who believes success and fulfillment come from generosity and helping others. While we’ve never met in person, his daily insights on LinkedIn have become a source of inspiration and growth.

We view Rajesh as a “possibility trafficker” who, through generosity and kindness, plants seeds of opportunity and progress rather than dwelling on problems. His background includes founding multiple companies, writing 18 books, and creating thousands of “Napkinsights” – bite-sized wisdom that fits on a napkin.

Rajesh is one shining example of where social media has exceeded our early expectations from 2010, proving that with the right mindset, these platforms can be powerful tools for connection, personal development and meaningful relationships.

Full Original Writing

Don and I have relished using social media for learning, helping others, engagement, and connection. As James Clear noted in his weekly 3-2-1 Newsletter from October 31, 2024, you will experience what you expect to see.

“If you look for evidence that people are conspiring to hold you back and the world is working against you, then it will take you no time at all to find precisely that.

If you expect to encounter helpful people and experience a world that is working with you, then you find plenty of evidence to support that view as well.

The raw material for a sweet life or a bitter life is always there. The story you emphasize is the one you notice.”

Around 2010, we sensed that social media had the potential to positively impact our lives thanks to the ability to connect online with people around the world. We could not understand the depth or potential we would experience over the next 14 years. Yet, our sense of going forward with a mindset of possibility and “people are good” ultimately became a self-fulfilling prophecy. We saw an opportunity to learn from and help others, and we leaned into gently moving forward as we figured out the nuances of the new world we now had at our fingertips.

Today, I am shining the light on and celebrating a connection who is an incredibly caring and inspiring human being. We have not met in person, but his wisdom, consistent generosity, and desire to help others grow are an example and standard Don and I look up to. This person is Rajesh Setty. He leads with tremendous compassion and care for helping others.

Soon after the pandemic started in March 2020, I discovered Rajesh when he was working on his book Six Foot World. After seeing a post I shared on Twitter, another connection, Tanmay Vora, sent me a direct message, sharing that Rajesh was his friend and mentor. His encouragement led me to more actively follow Rajesh, and I have found Rajesh to be a genius thinker who believes success and fulfillment are tied to our willingness to be generous, kind, and helpful to others. This is a beautiful example of how social media can work, connecting people for genuine learning and connection!

Who is Rajesh? Please check out his “About” bio on LinkedIn for his background, but here is a portion of his highlights:

“My passion is to bring good and game-changing ideas to life with love.

My heart sings when an idea in my world comes to life that makes the world outside a better place to live. It could be a startup, a book, a framework, a speech, a course or a work of art – I have experimented with all of them. I have failed a LOT of times, learned from every single one of those failures and, because of that, I have also succeeded a few times on all the categories.

Starting 2000, I have been part of the founding teams of several companies (10x) in the technology and publishing space. Couple of them have got an exit, couple of them have reached the startup graveyard and the rest are making progress. The latest venture Audvisor (www.audvisor.com) is a mobile audio streaming app for micro-podcasts from over 125 world-class experts. We have over 3,000 micro-podcasts on more than a dozen topics on personal and professional growth.

Starting 1983, I have written and published several books (18x) with my first book published at the age of thirteen. Books include four murder mysteries, a collection of poems, a book on mathematics, several business books and two books on how to make people think. I also maintain a blog with close to 2,000 blog posts and have contributed to Huffington Post, VentureBeat, Sandhill.com, Yourstory.com and Salesforce.com.

Starting 2016, I have created around 2500 Napkinsights ( Napkinsight = an insight that can fit on a paper napkin ). i have also created a box of 101 uniquely designed thank you cards, two playing card decks where every card has a mini saga (a story in exactly 50 words each) and more.”

**

Rajesh shares much of his content on LinkedIn and has created a historical log of his posts called “Thinking in Progress: Rajesh Setty’s writings on LinkedIn.“

I look forward to Rajesh’s daily drop of wisdom and encouragement. A recent share on October 30, 2024 is a beautiful example to share [Bold emphasis is mine]:

Beware of “Problem Traffickers” and Embrace “Possibility Traffickers”

We all know drug trafficking is harmful, but there’s a less obvious form of trafficking that can be just as toxic: problem trafficking. These individuals constantly introduce problems into your mind space—problems you can’t solve and they aren’t solving either. They insist on making these issues a focal point of your attention and demand your engagement, often using guilt or virtue signaling to keep you invested. This form of mental hijacking wastes your precious time and energy, leaving you distracted from addressing meaningful challenges where you can actually make a difference.

“Problem traffickers” excel at framing every discussion around why a particular problem needs urgent attention. They pull you into circular debates or endless analysis, preventing you from taking decisive action on issues within your control. It’s not that the problems they raise are entirely irrelevant, but their intention is not to solve them—just to endlessly discuss and amplify them. This not only drains your energy but also erodes your sense of agency over time.

On the flip side, there’s a small group of rare and valuable people known as “possibility traffickers.” These individuals are intentional about planting seeds of opportunity and progress. They are the ones who inspire action by focusing on what’s possible rather than what’s broken. Possibility traffickers don’t ignore problems; instead, they reframe them into opportunities for growth and improvement. Their presence is energizing and transformative, shifting your mindset towards constructive thinking.

Cherish those few “possibility traffickers” in your life—they are the people who help you see beyond limitations and encourage you to pursue meaningful change. They are the true catalysts for growth and progress in a world crowded with distractions.

Rajesh is most definitely a “possibility trafficker!”

Thank you, Rajesh, for consistently embodying what generosity and wisdom-sharing can look like online and in real life. Your insights, thought-provoking wisdom, and genuine desire to help others grow have created ripples of positive impact. You are showing that world that social media can be a powerful force for good when approached with intention and kindness. For anyone seeking to grow personally and professionally, Don and I strongly encourage you to follow Rajesh and explore his extensive body of work. His example highlights what is possible, reminding us that generously sharing our gifts with others can be transformative. Believe.

**

To learn more about Rajesh, below are several resources that I have shared often. Follow his content for guaranteed inspiration, perspective-shifting, and personal growth if you embrace his encouragement. I hope you find his insights as valuable as Don and I do!

  1. Website – https://rajeshsetty.com/
  2. LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/rajesh301/
  3. Skip Lineberg‘s The Main Thing podcast:
  4. Rajesh’s newest book ‘Unshaken.’ See Advance praise below, from two of my favorite authors (Seth Godin and Tom Peters)!
  5. For a complete list of Rajesh’s wisdom shared on LinkedIn, bookmark this link in your web browser – Thinking in Progress
  6. A talk about Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time. A sentiment he shares is now one I reflect on often – “A life-changing gift deserves a lifetime of gratitude.” Any success in my life has resulted from help from others, and I am now very intentional to be grateful and express my appreciation for others and the help that has come through my life.
  7. Regarding the use of social media, Rajesh reminds us that whether we actively choose (or not) to have a presence on social media, we are making a choice. Often, before a person meets you in real life, they will search for you on the internet. What impression do you make before any IRL meeting? This impression is what Rajesh refers to as The Zero-eth Impression.
  8. I purchased Rajesh’s coffee table book, Napkinsights, in 2023. This book is an inspiring conversation starter.
  9. I purchased and completed Rajesh’s course The Right Hustle: Fine-tuning the Art of Moving the Needle in 2022. The course was tremendous, and I believe everyone can benefit personally and professionally from his ideas. I highly recommend attending this course—and then revisiting it over and over, thanks to the lifetime access that comes with the purchase!
2024 | Bill and Don Tomoff with Napkinsights Coffee Table Book
November 2023 | Napkinsights book by Rajesh Setty

**

Book‘Unshaken’ Advance praise:

Seth Godin

Author of This is Marketing

“Here’s my endorsement: ‘I started reading and couldn’t stop. Elaboration: I’ve read scores of thriller blurbs which say ‘Unputdownable.’ I don’t think I had ever experienced literal unputdownableism until I read Raj’s book. I didn’t ‘learn from’ UNSHAKEN. What happened was that I was deeply affected. It caused reflection and smiles and frowns and discomfort and comfort. That’s the greatest possible praise, right?”

Tom Peters

Author of The Excellence Dividend and many other bestsellers

“‘Unshaken’ is Rajesh’s unwillingness to be defeated. Faced with serious challenges, he still has the grace to take it on the chin. It is nothing short of inspiring to see Rajesh turning problems into opportunities, and in the process, give us the simplest lesson of all. No matter what, keep moving.”

**

Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time (21 minutes)

At about 4:30, don’t miss “Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude.”

**

The Zero-eth Impression (5 minutes)

Visual | Rajesh Setty Zero-eth Impression
November 2024 | Rajesh Setty on LinkedIn
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More Than a Match: Two Decades of Life, Love, and Gratitude After Bone Marrow Transplant

November 3, 2004 – a day our family will never forget. Duke University Medical Center at 7:45 PM – Ryan Tomoff begin receiving his bone marrow transplant, thanks to the selfless contribution of a donor in the Be The Match Registry (now known as NMDP – National Marrow Donor Program).

November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Terri, Olivia, Ryan, and Bill

Today, November 3, 2024, our family has the gift of celebrating Ryan’s 20th anniversary since receiving his transplant. Scott Harris, the donor later identified, and we all met on November 4, 2005!

November 4, 2005 | Ryan Tomoff meets donor Scott Harris

Reflecting back, the emotions are overwhelming for the care, compassion, and kindness, received by Ryan and our family. Scott Harris and everyone involved with Ryan’s journey is proof that everyone matters. Everyone makes a difference. On that 2004 morning in New Jersey, Scott went to a hospital to have his bone marrow harvested and sent to Duke. He and we knew none of the details – as 10-year old Ryan and our family waited anxiously in the hospital praying that all the logistics would go as planned.

20 years later, the emotions feel as if this was yesterday. Scott, thank you for your gift of life to Ryan. Our family is grateful for you, the decision you made to contribute, your wife Sarah, and all who supported you in your journey. We are blessed for the gift of life, and we live to pay forward the example of your selfless choice to donate your bone marrow to a stranger. May your action forever inspire others.

Calls to action:

  1. PLEASE join the NMDP registry. YOU may be a lifesaving match for someone!
  2. Who can you thank today for being a gift in your life? Thank and help someone today!

In March 2021, Terri Tomoff wrote her memoir, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey From Mayhem to Miracles, of Ryan and our family’s journey through Ryan’s cancer experiences. The memoir kindle and paperback can be found on Amazon and audio on Spotify or Apple podcasts.

November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Family with Dr. Vinod Prasad
November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Family with Nurse Donna Currie
November 26, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Post Transplant | Ryan and Dr. Aziza Shad
November 4, 2005 | Tomoff Family at Party for Life Donor Meeting | New York City
November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day Certificate
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The 8-Minute AI Miracle: NotebookLM Technology Created an Audio Conversation of the Tomoff Twinz Story

A theme #TwinzTalk Don and I have lived by throughout our lives is “always be preparing.” This means embracing learning and personal development—for ourselves and to help those in our lives—and encouraging those in our lives to do the same.

“Luck is when preparation meets opportunity”

-Seneca

I prompted ChatGPT to interpret and explain the quote further. The response is worth sharing and is included at the conclusion of this post.

Opportunities will present themselves in our lives in unimagined ways. We should continually ask ourselves, “In my areas of interests/responsibilities, am I diligently and consistently working to be prepared to the best of my abilities?” The example discussed below could not have been imagined a mere five years ago!

A recent evolution in the GenAI arena is Google’s NotebookLM. Conor Grennan, Chief AI Architect at the NYU Stern School of Business, noted this in a recent LinkedIn post:

“I have had exactly three (3) jaw-dropping AI moments over the past 18 months. One of them just happened.”

“3. Google’s NotebookLM

This was just in the past week.

This is one of these things where you have to hear it to believe it. You’ve probably heard how it can create realistic sounding podcasts out of long boring documents, with two people speaking.

But it REALLY SOUNDS like two people are talking. I’m not going to try to explain it, because that would be like trying to explain how cool a card trick was.

Go to the website, you can try it for free. Or don’t, I don’t care. But unless you experience it, you don’t get it.

What this changed for me was a new way of absorbing information. People love podcasts for a reason – they’re easier to digest and learn from than long research documents.”

**

An opportunity for a use case of NotebookLM came to my mind when talking with Don about the hype and potential to consider trying out this new AI evolution. Since June 2020, my wife Terri and I have been active writers. I have written four unpublished memoirs. My fourth memoir was a gift to Don, titled Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes.

Using NotebookLM, I uploaded a PDF of the memoir (77 pages) and requested an Audio Overview. In only a couple of minutes, an audio file of less than eight minutes was provided. Preparation met an unimaginable opportunity, and the result was jaw-dropping! Preparation (I had a 77-page memoir in PDF format) met opportunity (the availability of the AI audio capability in NotebookLM), which resulted in the luck of generating a priceless AI audio overview conversation about the memoir! Don and I were stunned by the result.

Check out the audio here.

I encourage you to listen to the audio conversation if you are interested in learning more about our lifelong adventure as twin brothers with similar interests. We believe the overview beautifully summarizes the unpublished memoir I wrote and gifted to Don in December 2023.

**

ChatGPT Interpretation and Explanation of Seneca’s Quote

The quote by Seneca, “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity,” underscores a fundamental Stoic belief that what often appears to be “luck” is not purely a matter of chance, but rather a result of one’s readiness to act when the right moment arises.

Stoic Interpretation

  1. Preparation as a Foundation: In Stoicism, preparation is within our control—it involves cultivating wisdom, developing our skills, and continuously striving to improve ourselves. This prepares us for future challenges or opportunities that are outside our control. Seneca suggests that we should not passively wait for luck but actively engage in self-improvement to be ready for any situation that may come.
  2. Opportunity and External Events: Opportunity often arrives unexpectedly and is not something we can control. However, Stoics believe that by staying vigilant and practicing awareness, we can recognize these moments when they appear. Since the Stoics valued rational action, being prepared means we can seize the opportunity and respond in a way that aligns with our values.
  3. Luck as a Blend of Control and Acceptance: The Stoic view on luck is that it’s not entirely random but a combination of being prepared (which we can control) and recognizing the external opportunities (which we cannot control). To Seneca, this is why what many see as “luck” is simply the outcome of consistent preparation over time.

By understanding that our “luck” is often rooted in our preparedness, Seneca emphasizes personal responsibility and focusing on what we can control. This aligns with the Stoic principle of living a life where we proactively build our capacity to respond effectively to the world.

Key Takeaway

This quote invites us to see ourselves as active participants in creating “luck” by being prepared and vigilant. Rather than waiting for chance, the Stoic approach is to live with purpose and readiness so that when opportunity strikes, we’re positioned to make the most of it.

September 9, 2024 | ncaCPA Fall Conference | #TwinzTalk Don and Bill Tomoff
#TwinzTalk Encouragement – Always be learning and do your best!

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The Art of Noticing: Celebrating Unsung Heroes in Our Daily Lives

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

In this post, I reflect on my year-long journey of daily intentional reviews, a practice I started on October 10, 2023. I’ve noticed a significant enhancement in my life appreciation by documenting five key areas daily. One area highlights helping others and shining a light on goodness. I feel more attuned to positive experiences that might have previously gone unnoticed.

I share two recent heartwarming encounters from a family trip to Kentucky and Ohio. The first occurred at KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky, where exceptional customer service prompted me to send a thank-you note. The second was at Home2 Suites By Hilton in Grove City, Ohio, where I acknowledged Bonnie, a breakfast attendant, for her outstanding efforts.

These experiences reinforce my belief in the power of recognizing and celebrating everyday kindness. By changing how we view life, we change our life itself. I encourage readers to prioritize daily acts of kindness and appreciation, emphasizing that even small gestures can create a ripple effect of positivity in the world. Who will you thank or lift up today?

Full Original Writing

Excellence and kindness. Help others and shine the light on the good in our world!

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”

-Desmond Tutu

In a January 28, 2024, blog post, “Cultivating Contentment: The Potential of Intentional Daily Reviews,” I wrote about my initiative of prioritizing time each day to complete a handwritten index card where I intentionally reflected on five areas where I wanted to ensure I contemplated during my daily activities. Reflecting briefly and documenting with a pen and index card helped me internalize my day, appreciate it, and leave a brief trail of highlights. On October 10, 2024, I will celebrate one year of this daily process!

Because of my deliberate effort to highlight thoughts daily, I have noticed that my life is enhanced because I am actively working on appreciating each day and taking in experiences that in the past might have “slipped by me” in the rush of the day. My five areas, as shared in the blog post above, are:

  1. Win
  2. Gratitude
  3. Stress or Tension
  4. Help Others/Shine the Light
  5. Activity/Personal Development

In this post, I will share two recent heartwarming experiences that fall under the category “Help Others/Shine the Light.” Inspired by Daniel Burns (KindLoook), Bruce Kasanoff (Help this person…), and Leanne Gordon (Thank you for…), I gain joy and fulfillment in approaching each day dedicated to looking for the good in humankind. I strive to participate in, recognize, and celebrate the kindness that essentially goes unappreciated as many of us rush through our days and only stop to acknowledge when experiences are unfavorable. One moment, one interaction, one note at a time, I will prioritize the time to appreciate and acknowledge others. While I cannot change the world, I might change someone’s day for the better. And for sure, I am changing my day and life! If we change the lens of how we view life, we change our life.

Recently, we took a family trip to Frankfort, Louisville, and Grove City, Ohio. We visited bourbon distilleries in Kentucky and then attended a family wedding in Ohio! It was an active and fun-filled six days. While I did no formal writing each day, I always looked for people bringing good to the world. The process of being aware of moments of kindness brings me joy.

September 25, 2024 | Mark and Linda Misencik with Terri, Bill and Ryan Tomoff | Buffalo Trace Distillery
September 26, 2024 | Ryan Tomoff at Glenns Creek Distilling

How we conduct ourselves in daily interactions can have a positive ripple effect on others. Whether they acknowledge it or not, people treasure being seen and appreciated. We all have the power to make this happen for others. The trip resulted in many feel-good moments, and two notable experiences prompted me to send notes of appreciation:

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Tuesday, September 24, 2024 | Dinner at KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky

Shortly after we checked into our hotel, my wife Terri, son Ryan, and I went to a nearby restaurant for hibachi and sushi. After a long day of travel (550 miles), we ended with a delightful time shared at KOI Express. While we thoroughly enjoyed the meal, the customer service experience was heartwarming and made our day! Moments like these deserve recognition. We sent the following note after we returned home:

“To staff at KOI Express,

On Monday, September 24th (about 7:00 PM), our family of three stopped in for a sit-down dinner.

Our service, from start to finish, was excellent. We wanted to express our sincere appreciation!

From the smile and patience in taking our order, taking the initiative to correct a mistake on the bill (we did not notice), bringing us our meals – delicious – and assisting with our clean-up, your service was inspiring!

Thank you, The Tomoff Family

PS – and your Dept. of Health assessment posted – 100%! #WellDone”

[If you are ever in Frankfort, check out the KOI Express location at 101 Jett Boulevard, Suite 500]

September 24, 2024 | KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky

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Friday, September 27th to Sunday, September 29, 2024 | Morning Breakfast at Home2 Suites By Hilton in Grove City, Ohio

We had a wonderful time celebrating Taylor and Nate Kocan’s wedding in Grove City. Our accommodations at the Home2 Suites by Hilton were perfect! The morning breakfast routine was an excellent highlight (I love my morning quiet time). During the three mornings, I noted an employee taking great care in making sure the breakfast options were monitored and kept plentiful. She frequently cleared dishes and cleaned tables. With no fanfare, she set an incredible example of caring about her job and providing the best breakfast experience for the hotel guests.

On the second morning, I approached the employee and expressed my appreciation for her efforts. She was a bit surprised yet grateful for my comments. She felt good, and I felt good. All I had to do was get over a bit of discomfort in approaching her. We talked again on the third morning, and I learned her name was Bonnie. She was gracious and kind.

I sent the following note after returning home:

“Dear Bonnie,

Thank you for your incredible service (along with your team) in providing the morning breakfast during our recent stay (9/26 – 9/29/2024) at the Home2 Suites By Hilton!

Your attention to detail, maintenance of the breakfast area, and kind, helpful personality were a delight to observe. You all are appreciated—keep up the great work!

Much gratitude, The Tomoff Family”

September 27, 2024 | Home2 Suites By Hilton | Grove City, Ohio

Image credit: https://www.hilton.com/en/hotels/lckgcht-home2-suites-grove-city-columbus/

September 27, 2024 | Breakfast in Lobby | Home2 Suites By Hilton

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Call to action: Prioritize daily time for kindness and appreciation to help make your world a better place. The good you put into the world matters.

Who can you thank or lift up today? You never know when your actions will inspire a ripple impact into the world.

September 28, 2024 | Bill, Ryan, and Terri Tomoff, Olivia and Bo Hudson | Taylor and Nate Kocan Wedding Reception
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The Mastectomy I Always Wanted: Erica Campbell’s Mission to Help Others and Change the Breast Cancer Narrative

“Always look for the helpers. There will always be helpers.”

—Advice from Mr. Rogers’s Mother

“If you look for the helpers, you’ll know that there’s hope.”

–Mr. Rogers

Over my life, I have found my dearest friendships and connections, and the people I admire most are those who genuinely care and lean into their life experiences and skills to help others. This is the tribe that Terri and I adore being surrounded by. The same theme applies to the work that Don and I do with Invenio Advisors and our #TwinzTalk initiative.

Last night, August 21, 2024, Terri and I had the privilege of attending the virtual book launch celebration for Erica Neubert Campbell‘s “The Mastectomy I Always Wanted.” The book was released on August 20th and is available on Amazon!

We ALL have talents and life experiences that make it possible for us to contribute to others. We can choose to care and be a helper.

Erica has the experience of losing her mother to breast cancer and is a breast cancer survivor. She is on a lifelong mission to help others who are faced with traveling the road of breast cancer. As Erica noted, [paraphrasing] “Cancer is a club no one wants to belong to, yet if needed, the club includes caring and compassionate people dedicated to helping each other.” She has dedicated her life’s work to helping others fighting cancer (a long-time Special Love board member and camp volunteer, and now Executive Director for the Pinky Swear Foundation, helping families fighting the financial strains of childhood cancer) and now courageously shares her firsthand battle with breast cancer, determined to help others become more empowered in their journey and find hope for moving forward.

Terri and I have known Erica for over 20 years. She is kind, determined, and relentlessly focused on helping others. Read her book and consider a friend taking your hand during difficult times, listening, helping, and letting you know you are not alone. You are not alone. On her website, Erica notes:

“As a woman dedicated to my work and family, I’m normally quite private. Yet, my vision is to help women and caregivers facing a mastectomy to be confident in their choices, free from fear, and see a better future.“

This resonates deeply with me. When our son, Ryan, was diagnosed with childhood cancer (leukemia) in 1996, Ryan, Terri, daughter Olivia, and I were thrown into the cancer community. I also lean toward being more private, but I joined Terri in our now lifelong commitment to helping others who are enduring the path of childhood cancer. Our determination is fierce, and we applaud and thank Erica for the help and hope she is bringing to others by sharing her story!

In March 2021, Terri published The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, with the unstoppable mission of “Helping one person, one family, at a time.” Erica, in her unique way of articulating meaningful thoughts, shared this beautiful, heartfelt quote that is included in the book:

“In a tough situation, few people wake up every morning and say, ‘I’m going to be resilient today.’  Most people under extreme stress wake up with heavy hearts but with a small quiet voice that tells them never to give up. Resilience is listening to that small inner voice and finding people and organizations to help you slowly turn up the volume.”

Upon completing Erica’s book, I paused and reflected with gratitude on her willingness to document and share her story to help others. On the resources page of her website, she shares many quotes that have inspired her. I leave you with two to consider:

“What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?

-George Eliot

“Once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through. You won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm is all about.”

-Haruki Murakami

Call to action… many of us have been, or will be, touched by cancer. “The Mastectomy I Always Wanted” takes you through one person’s journey, sharing the physical and innermost mental challenges experienced. Erica shares her reality and provides actionable thoughts and tips, such as how she shared her news (“I Hate Telling You This in an Email“), “Erica Health FAQs,” and “Top Ten Tips to Prepare for a Mastectomy.” While she writes from the perspective of her experience with breast cancer, the book’s reach will benefit anyone touched by cancer. Please do yourself a favor: buy this book, read, share, and discuss it with those in your life who may benefit. Please.

Erica, congratulations on publishing your book! Thank you for the help and hope you are bringing and are going to bring to so many breast cancer patients, caregivers, medical personnel, family, and friends. Your book is a critically important resource, spoken with vulnerability and courage from your heart. Thank you!

August 13, 2019 – TwinzTalk Bill and Don Tomoff at Special Love Camp Fantastic with Erica Campbell
Sweatpants and Coffee Image – Sharing Your Story Helps Others
August 23, 2024 – Terri and Bill Tomoff with book The Mastectomy I Always Wanted

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Listening: The Inspiring Impact of Kym Dakin-Neal’s Book

Be curious and open to learning. This mindset I [more] intentionally adopted over a decade ago. I have always been an avid learner and fan of personal development, yet this centered around building technology skills that would enable me to contribute meaningfully to my professional world. Through studying the work of Seth Godin and Tom Peters, I became more interested in the “soft skills” (“real skills” per Seth) that allow us to improve our ability to interact and help others.

Enter Stoicism in 2019. Stoicism is a philosophy dedicated to taking care of the mind. We often take great care in looking after our physical health, finances, home, cars, etc… but neglect how we use or develop our minds. We judge, gossip, give unsolicited opinions, get anxious, and worry about things we don’t control. Over the past five years, I have prioritized striving to use and develop my mind in healthy and productive ways. Awareness was the first step. Then, I begin working intentionally on feeding my mind with healthy behaviors.

Since 2020, I have dedicated time for:

  1. Daily reading meditation of Stoicism
  2. Being involved in a community of practice surrounded by a generous, caring, and supportive tribe.
  3. I have written daily for over three years and now contemplate, if not write daily, about personal development and memoir topics.
  4. Reading, reading, and reading various nonfiction books that spark me to deeper reflection.

Through my community of practice, I had the great pleasure of interacting with Kymberly Dakin-Neal, the author of Head, Heart, and Hands Listening in Coach Practice.

Throughout my career, I have grown to appreciate and understand the power of listening. Admittedly, I have much work to do! Kym’s book was thought-provoking and filled with real-life stories that resonated with me. The breakdown of her listening types into head, heart, and hands was insightful as I contemplated my listening type(s). My career has been in the business world of accounting and finance – I quickly identified my style as a “head” listener. Yet, I need to truly listen, and this book has inspired me to dig deeper into considering my listening styles and the styles of those I am interacting with.

I highly recommend Kym’s book to anyone looking to improve their relationships and communication ability. Self-awareness is a vital attribute we must continually work on for ourselves, and this book will inspire you to recognize the rewarding potential of being aware of your listening styles. While her book is directed at helping coaches, the truth is this book is an invaluable resource for anyone interested in being a better person, friend, partner, coworker, and community contributor.

The author reads the audible version of this book, and I especially enjoyed listening to her read the book! My journey of personal growth has evolved from developing technical skills to embracing the “soft skills” and focusing on developing the power of my mind. Through my intentional and consistent daily reading, community engagement, and continuous learning, I have learned that effective listening is critically important, and I can do work to improve my listening skills. Kym’s book, “Head, Heart, and Hands Listening in Coach Practice,” was inspiring, offering me valuable insights into different listening styles. By nurturing these skills, we can enhance our relationships, improve communication, and contribute more meaningfully to our communities and workplaces.

August 2024 – Bill Tomoff with Book Head, Heart, and Hands Listening
April 29, 2023 – Bill Tomoff and Kymberly Dakin-Neal
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Nils and Jonas Salzgeber | Part 1 of 3: The Little Book of Stoicism

For twin Don and me, a consistent theme in our lives has been a desire to develop to the best of our abilities. In earnest, we recognized this fully during our college years…when it felt as if our career survival was at stake based on our academic performance (in the 1980s, this feeling was probably more true than today in 2024).

While not realizing it then, the love of personal development and striving to do our best was born during the college years at Ohio University. Competitive distance running on the varsity cross-country and track and field teams, balanced with the academic workload of pursuing a business degree (accounting major), consumed our focus – and we were each other’s accountability partners before we knew of such a term.

Purely self-serving during those years has evolved into personal development to bring our best self forward for our families and employers and our quest to use our talents and skills to bring out the best potential in others. My “Why” is now articulated as “Helping others is rewarding and provides me fulfillment and gratification.” Helping others is the best way to help yourself.

Thanks to the evolution of social media and communities of practice groups, the possibilities for connecting and learning with others have grown exponentially. We live in an exciting time with the potential of virtual connections and learning via technology (online courses, YouTube, etc.). With a willingness to invest in yourself, resources are abundant (often FREE).

Since 2018, I have invested time in the philosophy of Stoicism. That path has led to this post, where I now share about brothers Nils and Jonas Salzgeber. In 2021, I read Jonas’s book The Little Book of Stoicism: Timeless Wisdom to Gain Resilience, Confidence, and Calmness. I have been an avid reader of Ryan Holiday’s work at The Daily Stoic and have read The Daily Stoic book of daily meditations daily since January 1, 2020.

Like Nils and Jonas, I now view Stoicism as a core component of my personal development quest. ChatGPT describes Stoicism as follows (to explain to a high school student):

“Stoicism is a philosophy that teaches us to focus on what we can control—our own actions and attitudes—and to accept what we can’t control, like other people’s actions or life’s unexpected challenges. It encourages us to respond to life’s difficulties with calmness and resilience, striving to be our best selves by practicing virtues like wisdom, courage, and self-discipline. By focusing on our own behavior and learning to accept whatever life throws at us without getting overly emotional or upset, Stoicism helps us lead happier, more fulfilling lives.”

If you are interested in Stoicism, I highly recommend The Little Book of Stoicism. Yet, now is when the journey becomes more fun! Don and I believe personal development should be a priority for everyone. Too often, we feel in the minority and cannot understand why individuals do not relentlessly prioritize time to “sharpen the saw,” as Stephen Covey shares as one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

We discovered that Nils and Jonas are on a mission of personal mastery. Their passion for their mission is heartwarming and inspiring for the Twinz. On their website, NJLifeHacks.com, they share their encouragement (and tie in personal development to Stoicism):

“We’ve started NJlifehacks in 2016 in the hope of making a living with our passion for all things personal growth and self-development.

You see, when we hear something that promises to help us become more confident, mindful, charismatic, kind, and loving versions of ourselves, we’re all ears. We can’t help ourselves.

Some people think we’re weird or too serious or too driven, but they don’t get it – this is our passion. We love reading about the latest bio-hacks, new psychological studies, or ancient spiritual texts by Indian gurus (say about Osho what you will, but this guy had some incredible insights). Since starting the website, we’ve easily spent over $5,000 on books. You see, when others read about the latest celebrity scandal, we read about the latest breakthrough in positive psychology research. As our father would say, to each his own, right?”

“We’re letting you in on a little secret. Just don’t tell anyone, right? We have found, after being on this path to self-mastery (for lack of a better word) for a long time that the best way to get more confidence, self-trust, certainty, and all of that great stuff is through Stoicism.”

“In one sentence: NJlifehacks is a personal growth company dedicated to helping people become better versions of themselves through ancient wisdom and modern science. We do this through our blog articles, books, online courses, email newsletter, and personal coaching.”

Book Image
The Little Book of Stoicism by Jonas Salzgeber
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Personal Development | Introduction of Three-Part Blog Series Inspired by Nils and Jonas Salzgeber

Personal development has been a lifelong passion for my twin brother Don and me, born out of our competitive college years and desire to be our best selves. What started as self-serving during our college years has evolved into striving to bring out the best in ourselves and others.

Introducing the Inspiring Work of Nils and Jonas Salzgeber

In Part one of this series, I’ll share the background of Don and my personal development journey and introduce you to brothers Nils and Jonas Salzgeber. Their mission of personal mastery through their newsletter and website, NJLifeHacks.com, resonates with us. They combine ancient wisdom like Stoicism with modern science to help people become better versions of themselves.

I’ll also preview the three book recommendations that are covered in this blog series:

  1. Coach Wooden’s Leadership Game Plan for Success by John Wooden and Steve Jamison
  2. Benjamin Franklin: An American Life by Walter Isaacson
  3. The Little Book of Stoicism by Jonas Salzgeber

Part two dives deeper into the timeless life lessons we can learn from legendary basketball coach John Wooden. His wisdom on hard work, staying in the present, and improving yourself to improve the team is powerful.

Part three explores Benjamin Franklin’s 13 Virtues that were key to his success and pursuit of self-improvement. These character traits like temperance, sincerity, humility, and others are relevant today. Walter Isaacson’s insightful biography of Franklin is also referenced.

I hope this series inspires you never to stop learning, improving and becoming the best version of yourself. Let’s go on this adventure together and help bring out the potential in each other along the way. Stay tuned for part one coming up next!

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“Keep Your Eye on the Ball”: A Lesson in Priorities from Abe Pollin

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

In this heartfelt blog post, I share a deeply personal story of how the compassionate leadership of Abe Pollin, owner of the Washington Wizards, helped me navigate a family crisis while maintaining my professional responsibilities. My two-year-old son, Ryan, was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) shortly after our family moved to the Washington, DC area in 1996.

Amidst the chaos of intensive medical care necessary to save Ryan’s life, I received unconditional support and understanding from Mr. Pollin and the Washington Sports & Entertainment (WSELP) organization. Mr. Pollin’s advice to “Keep your eye on the ball, and that ball will change from time to time” resonated deeply with me, helping me prioritize my family and my son’s health while managing my professional obligations.

I express immense gratitude for the trust, flexibility, and genuine concern Mr. Pollin and my colleagues at WSELP extended to me. This support was critical in enabling me to persevere through the challenges of balancing my role as the sole provider for my family, maintaining healthcare coverage, and fulfilling my professional responsibilities.

The blog post also highlights the lasting impact of Mr. Pollin’s leadership style on my life and career. My dedication to the organization, particularly during the sale of WSELP’s assets following Mr. Pollin’s passing in 2009, is a testament to the loyalty and respect inspired by Mr. Pollin’s compassionate leadership.

Through this personal story, I emphasize the importance of empathetic leadership, focusing on what truly matters and expressing gratitude for the support received during life’s most challenging moments. The blog post is an inspiring reminder to readers to identify and focus on their “ball” – their highest priorities in life.

Full Original Writing

“Keep your eye on the ball.” These words of wisdom and encouragement were from Mr. Abe Pollin in early 1997. He gently and compassionately reminded me to go all in on my highest priority.

This post was inspired by an Instagram reel my son-in-law, Bo, sent me. Please watch the short video and continue reading my story of gratitude for Mr. Pollin and the career-saving and life-saving gift of understanding and encouragement that he and the culture of WSELP brought to my and my family’s lives.

On October 17, 1996, only two and one-half months after arriving in the Washington, DC, area, my two-year-old son Ryan was diagnosed with cancer – Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). In an instant, our world was turned upside down, and we were thrown into the day-to-day chaos of intense medical care necessary to save Ryan’s life.

I wrote more in-depth about this experience in my unpublished memoir, Living Life…Off The Track, and portions of that writing are reflected here.

March 13, 2001 | Tomoff Family at Capitals Game

When my family and I moved to Maryland, we had no idea about the leadership and genuine caring qualities of Mr. Pollin. And how that permeated into the culture of the organization. It turned out that I was a lucky professional blessed to receive unconditional support and understanding of the personal demands on me and my family. The professional who believes personal and professional lives should be maintained separately has not dealt with a life-threatening crisis. Without the company’s understanding of my personal demands, I simply could not have survived professionally.

Only days after Ryan’s diagnosis, my non-negotiable priorities were crystal clear, and I was laser-focused on where I would allow my precious time to be spent. Now, 27+ years later, my perspective has not changed, and I consider it a great gift. I fully understand my priorities EVERY DAY. In Chapter 32, Heartfelt Reflections from Bill and Olivia, of Terri’s memoir, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, I noted:

“This trust and the team of professionals that surrounded me made all the difference in managing the impossible balance I had to maintain. I will never forget Mr. Pollin telling me, “Bill, you need to keep your eye on the ball, and that ball will change from time to time.” His use of the basketball metaphor was spot on, and he stressed to me, “Right now, your son Ryan and your family are the most important ‘ball’ in your life.”

The trust and flexibility afforded me, plus the genuine concern for my personal demands were immeasurable gifts that my WSELP colleagues extended to me. Ultimately, the organization and I were rewarded with a dramatic win-win situation. I am forever grateful for the support provided, and I know this was a critical pillar of our family’s ability to persevere.”

What were my core priorities, and how were the less essential priorities handled? I learned through a devastating life moment that most of my priorities were “nice to do” and not essential to moving my family or me forward. When you are focused on saving your child’s life, previously “essential” tasks go undone. A basketball metaphor from the owner of the NBA Washington Wizards hit me with a clarity I will never forget. What were those priorities boiled to their essence? Three rocks:

  1. Family: Saving Ryan’s life and maintaining some sense of normalcy for our daughter and family unit.
  2. Healthcare: Maintaining and monitoring coverage. Having coverage required that I maintain employment with benefits – I felt enormous pressure and prayed that I could deliver on this imperative necessity.
  3. Work: Professional responsibilities had to be completed. My family’s healthcare and financial survival depended on my job as the sole provider – while Terri focused fully on caregiving for Ryan and balancing Olivia and our family obligations.

A fourth “given” was that Terri and I needed to take care of ourselves to ensure we would be the best we could be for Olivia and Ryan. I dismissed anything that did not drop into these buckets of obligations. There was no time to think, “I will put in more hours,” etc…no exception.

My role when joining WSELP was to handle the accounting responsibilities related to constructing the [then] MCI Center. The arena was a state-of-the-art facility, and the accounting aspects consumed much of my efforts from my arrival in 1996 until opening in December 1997.

In early 1997, I was informed that Mr. Pollin wanted to speak with me. To have a direct one-on-one meeting with him was highly unusual, especially considering I had been in my role for less than a year. We had a delightful conversation that started with updating him on Ryan and my family. I soon learned his highest priority was understanding his employees’ human side. Over time, employees built tremendous loyalty to him and the organization. I quickly learned Mr. Pollin was genuinely concerned about his employees and their families. Below are some of my [edited] thoughts I wrote in my memoir:

“I often mention, “surround yourself with the best,” and you will ultimately enhance your life. My WSELP experience was the best fortune in my career…one could not have asked for a more empathetic and compassionate owner/leader than Mr. Pollin. And his spirit of how to treat employees resonated with all those who worked in the organization. This experience would change me dramatically.”

“My time with Washington Sports & Entertainment (WSELP) would be an exact fit for my and my family’s life. When Ryan was diagnosed, our world was turned upside down, and I truly believe that my accounting career could not have survived in most business environments. People who go through a childhood cancer experience often face incredible challenges to maintain health insurance due to the need to abandon their employment in order to care for the sick child.”

“Mr. Pollin asked that I consider taking on additional responsibilities within the finance operations. I was flattered but surprised that they would remove any of my focus from the MCI Center construction efforts. My heart and soul were going into the effort, and I wanted to see the journey to the arena’s grand opening. This challenge is what brought me and the family to Washington, DC! In addition, I simply could not fathom taking on new responsibilities when Ryan was in the throes of his initial three years and two months treatment protocol. When I shared these sentiments with Mr. Pollin, he commented, “Bill, you need to keep your eye on the ball. In life, that ball will change from time to time.” He fully appreciated and had empathy for the fact that the “ball” at this point in my life were Ryan’s leukemia treatments and my family.”

When Mr. Pollin passed away on November 24, 2009 (age 85), of a rare brain disease (corticobasal degeneration), the focus had to shift to selling the assets of the organization. The process was intense, yet my mission was to dedicate all energy necessary to contribute whatever I could in memory of the personal support and patience of Mr. Pollin and all I worked with over the years. The accounting work was extensive and tedious from November 2009 to the June 2010 sale date and the final transaction closed in November 2010. With a heavy heart, I was privileged and honored to have a significant role in selling WSELP to Monumental Sports & Entertainment. The WSELP organization supported me and my family steadfastly through hell and back for Ryan’s treatments from 1997 to 2005. I cannot imagine any other company and leadership patiently supporting me and my family for over eight years. I am eternally grateful to Mr. Pollin for the kindness, concern, and leadership he showed through his example.

When I left Monumental Sports on June 30, 2011, Rich Brand of Arent Fox gave me a heartwarming recommendation on LinkedIn. I treasure his words as a highlight of my career:

“I am a sports law attorney with Arent Fox and have practiced for more than 25 years. For the past 15 years, I have had the pleasure of working with Bill on countless financing agreements, operational matters, accounting matters and most recently, issues relating to the sale of the enterprise. Bill’s work ethic is extremely impressive but so too are his skills. And even more importantly, his personal attributes are second to none. Bill worked tirelessly on any matter asked of him and was instrumental in helping all parties involved understand the complex financial and accounting type issues. Bill is always able to “translate” what he does and what he knows to people who are less fluent in finance and accounting. He is also an excellent supervisor and earned the respect of his peers the hard way – by doing the work the right way and always on time. He commands the respect of all who worked above and below him in the organization.

The work Bill often had to do for us (or with us) typically carried horrendous deadlines and was critical to our achieving the overall task at hand. Whether it was providing lenders or buyers with all the necessary financial and operational information or providing an analysis of risks and issues to be addressed, it was done promptly, expertly and often utilizing technology that lawyers like myself can only dream of understanding.”

Mr. Pollin and my colleagues with WSELP indelibly impacted my career and life. I am grateful to have done my best to repay (and pay forward in my life) the kindness, passion, and compassion extended to me and my family. And yes, when the “ball” has changed throughout my life, I remind myself, smiling inside and thinking of Mr. Pollin, “Bill, keep your eye on the ball…“

What is your “ball” that deserves your focus?

April 2005 | Ryan Tomoff on the Washington Wizards Court