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Discovering Myself Through Memoir: A Journey of Self-Reflection and Gratitude

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

In this introspective blog post, I reflect on the concept of one’s “body of work” – the unique collection of experiences, talents, and contributions that make up an individual’s life story. Inspired by the writings of Steven Pressfield and Seth Godin, who emphasize that we are all artists in our own lives, I encourage readers to recognize and embrace their personal growth, leadership, and positive impact on others as their own form of art.

I share my own journey of self-discovery, which began in June 2020 when I joined a writing community with my wife, Terri. Through daily writing, I gained clarity of thought and a deeper appreciation for the power of the written word. This led to the creation of four unpublished memoirs, each focusing on a different aspect of my life: my personal story, my daughter’s soccer career, my older brother’s profound impact, and my shared experiences with my twin brother.

My work encompasses various meaningful areas that have shaped my identity and the value I strive to bring to the world. These include my experiences as a competitive distance runner, my academic and professional achievements, my role as a family man and caregiver to my son (a five-time cancer survivor), my love of sports, my involvement in soccer and refereeing, my advocacy for childhood cancer, personal development, and kindness, as well as my engagement in social media and communities of practice.

I conclude the blog post with an invitation to readers to contemplate their own life experiences and recognize the unique talents and nuances that make up their individual stories. I encourage everyone to embrace their personal body of work and continue refining it throughout their lives, joining me on this shared adventure of self-discovery and growth.

Full Original Writing – Introduction to My Body of Work

What is your story? Everyone has a story… and we all develop a body of work that builds as we find our path through life. Our body of work grows and our life perspective and wisdom is the gift of our work. We all are artists creating our own unique art that cannot be replicated by another human.

“One of the major responsibilities of a person is to make that intellectual spark which you have received from heaven illuminate the world around you.”

—Chinese Wisdom

The opportunity I am embracing here is to share my interpretation of my body of work through my personal lens. This writing is inspired by reading The Daily Pressfield by Steven Pressfield and The Icarus Deception by Seth Godin. Steven and Seth emphasize that we all can be/are artists in our lives. I love this – we just need to recognize how we grow, lead, contribute, and help others, is our art, if we care enough to put our heart and soul into the work of being our best every day.

As you read the rest of this introduction, I encourage you to contemplate, “What is my body of work that is the art creating my life story?”

My life has evolved from being a fiercely independent, accomplishment-driven young man to a family man led by my life experiences to building and developing my talents so I can maximize helping others and leaving the world a better place for having been alive.

My adventure into deeper self-introspection started in June 2020 when I joined my wife, Terri, in a writing community. Over the past [almost] four years, we have grown to love the daily process of writing, the clarity the writing brings to our thoughts, and an appreciation of the gift of writing and the community of kind and caring people participating with us.

My efforts have resulted in four unpublished memoirs that I have completed. I have gained tremendous enjoyment from writing these memoirs and fulfillment knowing the thoughts, appreciation, and memories I ultimately leave for my family. The four memoirs have now made it possible to think about and more clearly articulate my body of work through the blessing of my 65-plus years of life,

The four unpublished memoirs completed, and one in process, include:

  1. December 2020 – Living Life…Off The Track. My personal memoir.
  2. December 2021 – Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer. My memoir of our daughter Olivia’s 15-year soccer career.
  3. January 2023 – “Million Dollar Al” and Beyond. My memoir of my older brother Alex and his profound impact on my life.
  4. December 2023 – Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes. My memoir of my twin brother Don and our shared adventure in life.
  5. TBD (in-process) 2024 – I Did My Best. I Cared: Reflections on Experiences, Lessons Learned, and Heartfelt Tips to Live a Fulfilling Life.

As I write at this point in time, the meaningful areas of my body of work are many. I hold each of these close to my heart. They have shaped who I am and the value I strive to bring to the world every day. The areas include:

  1. Competitive distance runner
  2. College academics
  3. Career
  4. Family
  5. Caregiver, with Terri, for our five-time cancer survivor son Ryan.
  6. Post-Traumatic Growth
  7. Love of sports shared with family
  8. Soccer and soccer referee
  9. Advocate for childhood cancer
  10. Advocate for personal development
  11. Advocate for kindness
  12. Social Media 2010 and forward
  13. #TwinzTalk cofounder 2018
  14. Philosophy of Stoicism since 2019
  15. Communities of practice

What is your story? Contemplating your life experiences, you may realize, as I have, that there are many nuances to every person’s life. We are all unique and have talents within us that no one else owns. Embrace yours and continue refining your body of work for the rest of your life! Join me on this adventure.

Follow my writing as I expand in greater depth to highlight each area of my body of work. Thank you for reading!

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The Ripple Effect of Post-Traumatic Growth: How ‘Doing Our Best’ Transcended Personal Triumph

“Have you done your best?“

A theme that has been a central aspect and one I have held close throughout my life is my goal to always answer this question with “Yes, I did my best.” In my teen years, my efforts focused on distance running. However, I became much more intentional with my self-encouragement and introspection in 1977 when I started attending Ohio University and took on the challenge of obtaining a business degree in accounting.

On October 17, 1996, my and my family’s life was forever changed by the challenge of my son Ryan’s childhood cancer diagnosis. Every day, my wife Terri, me, then four-year-old daughter Olivia, and two-year-old Ryan started surviving by bringing “our best” to the day and the often unimaginable stresses that were now a part of our everyday lives. An acute sense of gratitude for life and the joys of ordinary moments quickly took hold in our perspectives. I wish our gift of perspective were one that everyone could genuinely appreciate. Yet, I wish for others to reach this perspective without traveling the road Ryan and our family have traveled for the past 27+ years.

Post-Traumatic Growth

In chapter 33 of Terri’s memoir The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, she discusses her discovery of Post-Traumatic Growth while we were traveling in 2015. Thanks to Oprah Magazine and journalist Ginny Graves, Terri’s discovery of this topic crystallized many emotions we felt through Ryan’s challenges. Without realizing the impact (our focus was saving Ryan’s life and providing as much normalcy as possible for Olivia), our lives profoundly changed by embracing our mission to help others affected by childhood cancer and to pay forward the care and kindness that has been showered upon us since that life-changing day in 1996. In introducing the section in her book, Terri shared this quote that has rung true for us:

“Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor.”

—Marianne Williamson

Collaborating with ChatGPT, I summarized the chapter with a 500-word recap and then generated an insightful bullet-point highlight list of ways post-traumatic growth has enhanced our lives. I shared these two results below. A BONUS – the full text of chapter 33 from Terri’s memoir is provided here.

Chapter 33 Summary | Collaboration with ChatGPT

Chapter 33 of Terri Tomoff’s book “The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles” is titled “Post-Traumatic Growth.” The chapter opens with a note from Tomoff’s son, Ryan, reflecting on his experiences with PTSD following his battle with cancer. This note provides insight into the challenges he faced, such as constant fear of cancer recurrence, the constant medical environment, and coping mechanisms like video games.

Tomoff connects Ryan’s struggles with the concept of post-traumatic growth (PTG), an idea suggesting that individuals can experience positive transformation following trauma. This concept is hard for some to comprehend, and not everyone can rally around it, but it represents an alternative to the narrative of unending suffering.

Tomoff then recounts her family’s various contributions to their community following Ryan’s diagnosis, including running marathons to raise money, starting a Postcard Project, and taking meals to the hospital floor where Ryan was treated. She shares that these activities, aimed at helping others, could be considered PTG as they transformed their family’s trauma into a positive force that benefited their community.

The term PTG was coined by Richard Tedeschi, a psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, who asserted that trauma survivors could undergo profound changes that extend beyond mere resilience. Jack Tsai from Yale School of Medicine adds that the healthcare system emphasizes identifying dysfunctions rather than superior functioning. This trend is now shifting towards promoting overall well-being.

Tomoff elaborates on her family’s extensive volunteer work, including lobbying for childhood cancer funding, founding advisory boards, and volunteering at various organizations and events. These activities provided a sense of purpose, helped others facing similar challenges, and, in return, aided their healing process.

Tomoff explains that despite the pain associated with a childhood cancer diagnosis, the shared experience has created a strong sense of community and camaraderie. This has led to emotional sharing sessions that have deeply moved the families involved and the staff at the facilities they work with.

Finally, the chapter highlights the Southern Comforters Quilt Guild of Bowie, Maryland, which Tomoff is a part of. The group has made over 2000 quilts for newly diagnosed children at Georgetown University Hospital and has extended its mission internationally. Tomoff and her family’s endeavors reflect the essence of PTG, transforming a traumatic experience into meaningful contributions to society, leading to their emotional growth.

Post-Traumatic Growth: Our Enhanced Family Approach to Life | Collaboration with ChatGPT

From Chapter 33 of Terri Tomoff’s memoir, it’s clear that the family’s experience with their son Ryan’s cancer diagnosis and subsequent trauma transformed their approach to life, fostering a deep commitment to aiding others and giving back to society. This transformation reflects their experience with post-traumatic growth (PTG). Here are some key ways in which PTG enhanced their life:

  1. Embracing Purpose Through Helping Others: They found purpose and solace in assisting others undergoing similar trials. This included running marathons to raise funds, launching “The Postcard Project”, delivering meals to the hospital, and volunteering at multiple organizations. They found a form of healing by turning their trauma into meaningful activities.
  2. Creating Advocacy Initiatives: Their personal experience led them to advocate for more funding for childhood cancer research. Tomoff mentions lobbying on Capitol Hill with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society as a part of this initiative.
  3. Building Community: They co-founded the Parent Advisory Board and involved themselves in other groups supporting families dealing with cancer. This fostered a strong sense of community, which provided emotional support and a platform for shared experiences.
  4. Promoting Well-Being and Positive Transformation: Their work with others emphasized the promotion of well-being, aligning with the concept of PTG. They believed that surviving adversity could be used as a catalyst for profound personal change and betterment.
  5. Empathy and Understanding: Their own experience with trauma allowed them to deeply empathize with other families going through similar experiences, making them effective in their efforts to help others.
  6. Legacy and Long-Term Commitment: The family has pledged a lifelong commitment to giving back to society, acknowledging that they “will never live long enough to give back to the universe.” This dedication is evident in their ongoing efforts, such as Terri Tomoff’s work with the Southern Comforters Quilt Guild, which has created over 2,000 quilts for children newly diagnosed with cancer.
  7. Family Involvement: The family turned their struggle into a collective mission, involving every family member in various ways. This not only helped in dealing with their trauma but also fostered a sense of unity and shared purpose within the family.

In summary, the concept of post-traumatic growth profoundly affected the Tomoff family, driving their extensive efforts to help others, advocate for change, and create a legacy of kindness and resilience in the face of adversity. This has fundamentally transformed their approach to life, making them deeply committed to serving their community.

Thanks to the interpretation and insights offered by ChatGPT, the results beautifully articulate the essence of Terri’s heartfelt writing about post-traumatic growth and the impact our family has felt throughout the years of Ryan’s treatments. We can all show up and do our best one day at a time. Doing your best is what YOU must hold yourself accountable for – this is a personal matter and not subject to the judgment of others. Do your best, keep moving, and hold your head high.

November 4, 2004 – PBMT Donor Meetup – Olivia, Bill, Terri, and Ryan Tomoff
October 1996 – Ryan and Bill Tomoff at Georgetown Hospital
October 1996 – Ryan and Bill Tomoff at Georgetown Hospital – Dad heading home
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Living with Intention: My Path to Post-Traumatic Growth and Encouraging Everyday Kindness

ChatGPT Summary

In this blog post, I share my reflections and insights shaped by a journey marked with resilience and gratitude, deeply influenced by my son Ryan’s courageous battles against cancer. Drawing wisdom from Terri Tomoff’s “The Focused Fight,” I explore how these profound experiences have enriched my perspective, fostering a commitment to spread kindness and positivity.

As I approach my 65th birthday, my heart is brimming with gratitude. I’m dedicated to living a life filled with impact, kindness, and helpfulness, embracing the concept of post-traumatic growth. I’m inspired by Adam Grant’s “five-minute favors” from his book “Give and Take,” believing in the cumulative power of small, intentional acts of kindness.

My life philosophy is encapsulated in three core themes. Firstly, through “The Focused Fight,” I aim to encourage others with a message of gentleness and understanding. Secondly, our Tomoff family mission focuses on helping one person, one family, at a time. Finally, along with my twin Don and our #TwinzTalk initiative, we endeavor to change the world one interaction at a time. These principles guide my daily interactions, where I strive to be an encouraging and enthusiastic presence.

Supporting this message, I reference a post from Instagram’s imagine_values and a “Five-Minute Favors” video on YouTube. Additionally, musician Nick Cave’s words resonate deeply with me, highlighting the significance of everyday gestures in creating ripples of change. Cave eloquently speaks to the profound impact of our smallest actions and their meaningful consequences.

In conclusion, I extend a heartfelt invitation to join me in embracing micro-moments of kindness and a gentler approach towards ourselves and others. Every action, no matter how small, matters significantly. Through these seemingly insignificant acts, we can all contribute to lifting the spirits of others, thus shaping a kinder, more compassionate world.

Full Reflection

My perspective and efforts in life strive to lead with a grateful heart as I go through my days. When I am gentle and kind to myself, I am inspired to bring that same presence to the world and those I interact with. I could credit many life events for their role in shaping me into who I am today. Yet, the dramatic life-threatening and life-altering event of my son Ryan’s five-time battles with cancer and the lens through which I experience life have profoundly changed me. Terri Tomoff’s memoir, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey From Mayhem to Miracles, shares Ryan and our family’s journey since his original diagnosis in 1996.

As I approach my 65th birthday (!), my heart is filled with gratitude for the growth I have experienced in my life, and I am dedicated with my heart and soul to being an impactful, kind, caring, and helpful person for the rest of my life. The concept of post-traumatic growth is one that Terri and I embrace fully, and we strive to be intentional in our efforts to pay it forward for the unimaginable care and kindness that has been shared with our family over the years.

Recognizing that TIME is my most precious asset, I have dedicated efforts focused on micro-moments of kindness and five-minute favors (encouraged by Adam Grant in his book Give and Take). Opportunities abound to make a difference in our world, and my approach to seemingly small, insignificant, yet genuine acts of kindness WILL make a compounding difference in my world. How do I “know?” I believe, and I KNOW – I do not need affirmation. I promise – live your life to bring good to the world – and you will notice the impact on you and your world!

A few themes I believe and strive for as part of my values are:

My theme – encouragement with signed copies of The Focused Fight:

“Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.”

Our Tomoff family mission of The Focused Fight book:

“Helping others, one person, one family, at a time.”

Bill and Don Tomoff’s mission of #TwinzTalk and our professional work:

“Changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.”

My preferred contributions for making an impact in my corner of the world are to focus on micro-moments of kindness and five-minute favors. How I conduct myself daily is critically important, and I strive to be an encouraging and enthusiastic presence as I go through my activities and interactions. Our actions matter – a lot. An inspiration from imagine_values on Instagram is a fantastic reminder for my approach to bringing value to my life and world: “Think big and act small.“

A beautiful discussion of “Five-Minute Favors” is shared in this short 4-minute and 41-second YouTube video from Good Morning America.

And, to close, James Clear’s 3-2-1 weekly newsletter from Thursday, November 23, 2023, shared a beautiful excerpt from musician Nick Cave:

Musician Nick Cave on the power of small actions:

“The everyday human gesture is always a heartbeat away from the miraculous.

Remember that ultimately, we make things happen through our actions, way beyond our understanding or intention; that our seemingly small ordinary human acts have untold consequences; that what we do in this world means something; that we are not nothing; and that our most quotidian human actions by their nature burst the seams of our intent and spill meaningfully and radically through time and space, changing everything.

Our deeds, no matter how insignificant they may feel, are replete with meaning and of vast consequence, and they constantly impact upon the unfolding story of the world, whether we know it or not.”

Source: ​The Red Hand Files, Issue #216​ (lightly edited for clarity)

Portions of the unedited post at the link provided above resonated with me:

“Perhaps the song attempts to present the idea that the everyday human gesture is always a heartbeat away from the miraculous – that ultimately we make things happen through our actions, way beyond our understanding or intention; that our seemingly small ordinary human acts have untold consequences; that what we do in this world means something; that we are not nothing; and that our most quotidian human actions by their nature burst the seams of our intent and spill meaningfully and radically through time and space, changing everything. Night Raid tells us that our deeds, no matter how insignificant they may feel, are replete with meaning, and of vast consequence, and that they constantly impact upon the unfolding story of the world, whether we know it or not.”

“… All action provokes change. Nothing is ineffectual. Nothing.

Francis, rather than feel impotent and useless, you must come to terms with the fact that as a human being you are infinitely powerful, and take responsibility for this tremendous power. Even our smallest actions have potential for great change, positively or negatively, and the way in which we all conduct ourselves within the world means something. You are anything but impotent, you are, in fact, exquisitely and frighteningly dynamic, as are we all, and with all respect you have an obligation to stand up and take responsibility for that potential. It is your most ordinary and urgent duty.”

My hope is anyone who reads my post here will embrace the magic of micro-moments of kindness and five-minute favors. As Nick Cave encourages, EVERY action matters. We all can prioritize time to contribute and lift the spirits of others through seemingly insignificant actions. 

May we all adopt a kinder and gentler approach to ourselves and our interactions with others? Join me in this movement.

PS – if you need to move in front of me in a long traffic line, I’ve got you covered!

April 2023 - Bill and Ryan Tomoff
The Tomoff Family - Terri, Olivia, Ryan, and Bill
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A Drop of Hope: How a Marrow Transplant Ignited a Lifetime of Gratitude

ChatGPT Highlights of Post

  1. I pause to reflect back on November 3, 2004, a day ingrained in our hearts as we nervously sat in Duke University Medical Center, awaiting the marrow donation that held the hope of a fresh lease of life for Ryan, battling Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.
  2. The week of outpatient radiation Ryan endured, wiping out his immune system, only intensified the need for a successful transfusion, each passing moment fueling our prayers for the meticulous execution of the transplant.
  3. Our beacon of hope was Scott Harris, whose altruistic act of marrow donation from miles away in New York was the cornerstone of Ryan’s fight for survival. His selfless act is a testament to the adage that humanity thrives in unity.
  4. Rajesh Setty’s words, “Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude,” resonates deeply with our experiences, encapsulating the essence of thankfulness we foster each day for Scott and many others whose benevolence has been a guiding light in our journey.
  5. The narrative within Terri’s memoir, “The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles,” not only chronicles our voyage through turbulent times but also advocates for the priceless act of marrow donation, urging the reader to explore and share the life-saving potential encapsulated in “Be The Match.”

Our narrative is a homage to the boundless generosity we’ve received and a call to action for others to partake in life-altering acts of kindness, fostering a continuum of hope and lifesaving camaraderie.

Full Reflection (Written November 3, 2023)

“Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude.” – Rajesh Setty

November 3, 2004. Nineteen years ago today, my family and I were in Durham, NC, at Duke University Medical Center. Terri Tomoff and my son, sister Olivia’s brother, were with Ryan as we anxiously awaited the marrow donation to be delivered to Duke and prepared for transfusion to Ryan. We all were praying for the successful execution of steps that needed to be taken to provide Ryan with his opportunity for a life-saving transplant. He was waiting in his hospital room after having completed a week of outpatient radiation that eliminated his immune system – his body’s ability to fight an infection was non-existent.

When we experienced Ryan’s 3x wars with childhood cancer (ALL – Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia), we immediately understood that people need people. Success in the process was not in our control. The realization creates desperation. On this day in November 2004, we all waited anxiously for the necessary steps that had to unfold before delivering the marrow transfusion to Ryan.

We would only learn the specifics a full year later. Still, our donor, Scott Harris, from the New York area, started the morning of November 3rd by going to a local hospital to have his marrow harvested for delivery to Duke, where a ten-year-old boy and his family waited. At approximately 7:45 PM, the transplant was started!

Every day, we carry an attitude of gratitude for Scott Harris and the gift of life that his selfless act provided to Ryan and our family. Yet, on the anniversary, we take an intentional pause and reflect on his kindness, along with the care and compassion of many people and medical professionals who dedicated their efforts to Ryan’s survival. Rajesh Setty’s quote above, which I discovered in his YouTube video, “Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time,” could not more perfectly articulate the emotion in our family.

I encourage everyone to watch the video for thought-provoking inspiration and encouragement from Rajesh, particularly from 3:00 to 5:05 minutes, where he references Dr. Howard Hogshead and life-changing gifts.

The list of people I feel heartfelt gratitude for is very long, and we dedicate our lives to helping others, honoring those who have impacted our journey and who ultimately gave the gift of life to Ryan.

In her memoir book, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, Terri discusses Ryan and our family’s in-depth journey through transplant (Chapter 23 – The Transplant) and the emotional meeting with Scott Harris on November 4, 2005 (Chapter 27 – Can YOU Be The Match?).

As Terri asks with her title of chapter 27 – can you be the match? Please check out and share the critically vital link to Be The Match.

November 3, 2004 – Ryan Tomoff transplant is started at 7:45 PM
November 4, 2005 – Ryan Tomoff meets his Bone Marrow Transplant donor Scott Harris.
July 2021 – Olivia, Bill, Terri, and Ryan Tomoff celebrate Terri’s The Focused Fight book, published March 11, 2021
December 2019 – Olivia and Ryan Tomoff – Maui, Hawaii
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Unlocking Hope: The Impact of a Postcard Project on One Family’s Childhood Cancer Battle

Introduction:

This blog post results from using ChatGPT (CGPT) to summarize and reframe chapter 19, The Postcard Project, in Terri Tomoff’s memoir, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles.

My twin Don and I have been learning, “playing with,” and working to identify compelling personal use cases for using CGPT to enhance our performance and ability to bring increased value to ourselves and others.

The summaries provided here were a direct result of prompting CGPT based on the full text of the chapter. I have first-hand knowledge of the topic (creator of The Postcard Project), so I can verify the results of our family’s direct experiences. I have tweaked the results below for greater clarity and accuracy, yet the starting point provided by CGPT astounded me!

I started by copying and pasting the chapter’s entire text, about 1,500 words, into CGPT and prompting it for a 500-word summary recap. Then I prompted, “Why was the postcard project important for Ryan and our family?” The results encouraged me to share in this blog post. Reminder – I carefully read the answers generated by CGPT and modified the results to reflect sentiments that aligned exactly with my feelings. However, the “head start” provided by CGPT is the emphasis here – I am sure this result would not have been gathered without the assistance of CGPT.

Recap of the Chapter:

Chapter 19 of Terri Tomoff’s book, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, titled “The Postcard Project,” shares the story of a unique initiative undertaken by the family of Ryan. This young boy had gone silent after his second acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL) cancer relapse.

The news of the relapse made Ryan sad and uninterested in talking with almost anyone. Hoping to lift his spirits and encourage him to communicate, his father, Bill, conceived a project where well-wishers would send sports-themed postcards with supportive messages to Ryan. He was a huge sports fan.

Termed “The Postcard Project,” the idea rapidly gained momentum, with people sending postcards worldwide. In addition, Ryan received other gifts, including sports jerseys and even a letter of good wishes from the President of the United States, George W. Bush! The family had set up a P.O. Box to manage the volume of mail, which exceeded 2,500 pieces between June and December 2004.

The postcard project not only provided a distraction for Ryan but also became a ray of hope for the entire family. People’s goodwill worked wonders, as the messages he received lifted Ryan’s spirits. Depending on his health and mood, He could open the mail on his terms, either in the hospital or at home.

One touching incident mentioned in the chapter was when a nurse, who had earlier sent Ryan a postcard from Hawaii, was assigned to him at Duke University Medical Center for his bone marrow transplant. The family viewed this coincidence as a minor miracle.

Despite the trauma and uncertainty surrounding Ryan’s treatment, the chapter emphasizes the resilience of Ryan and his family. Their motto of taking things “One. Day. At. A. Time.” was a steady mantra amidst the chaos of chemotherapy treatments, infection complications, recovery, and preparation for his bone marrow transplant.

The postcard project had miraculously achieved its aim – Ryan’s spirits were lifted by the cards received, and he began to talk and engage with others. The chapter also highlights Ryan’s resolve to attend an annual weeklong cancer camp, Special Love’s Camp Fantastic, reiterating his determination and will to live.

Overall, “The Postcard Project” exemplifies the healing power of collective goodwill and how a small act of kindness can have far-reaching impacts.

Why was The Postcard Project Important for Ryan and Our Family?

The response generated by CGPT brought me great gratitude for the idea happening. It reminded me that Ryan and our family were immensely blessed with the overwhelming response that supported him throughout the summer of 2004 and his trip to and treatment at Duke University Medical Center in October 2004 until we returned to Maryland in March 2005. A couple of boxes of unopened cards traveled with us. Ryan had a consistent available supply of notes that reminded him he was loved, and a vast tribe of supporters was holding him close in their thoughts and prayers.

The reasons suggested by CGPT for the significance of the project were:

  1. Boosted Spirits
  2. Sense of Connection
  3. Restored Communication
  4. Global Support
  5. Distraction from Pain
  6. Family Bonding
  7. Miracle Moments

Each reason suggested was a great observation, and Terri and I would summarize in the same way – if we were able to articulate the thought as concisely as offered by CGPT (and then reworded to our preference).

The response from CGPT (clarified wording to reflect our experience) is below.

The Postcard Project was significant for Ryan and his family for several reasons:

  1. Boosted Spirits: Amidst the painful and exhausting process of treatments and recovery, the postcards served as a source of joy and excitement for Ryan. The sports-themed postcards catered to his interests, and the encouraging messages improved his mood.
  2. Sense of Connection: While Ryan had retreated into silence, the postcards allowed him to maintain a connection with the world outside his hospital room. They served as a non-intrusive way for well-wishers to communicate their support.
  3. Restored Communication: The postcards sparked curiosity and interest in Ryan, encouraging him to start speaking and engaging with others a bit more. Opening up to others was a significant emotional and psychological recovery milestone.
  4. Global Support: The wide-ranging response from people across the globe emphasized the collective goodwill towards Ryan. This universal display of human kindness profoundly impacted his family, giving them hope and strength in challenging times.
  5. Distraction from Pain: The postcards provided Ryan with a much-needed distraction from his painful treatments and the longer-term extensive inpatient treatment process. They served as a pleasant diversion, giving him something to look forward to.
  6. Family Bonding: Collectively experiencing the project brought the family together, providing a shared focus and a sense of solidarity in a stressful and worrying period. It also brought joy and a sense of achievement as Ryan’s spirits improved, and he opened up to communicating more regularly.
  7. Miracle Moments: Unexpected instances, like the nurse at Duke University Medical Center who had earlier sent Ryan a postcard, ending up as his caregiver during his bone marrow transplant. The nurse event is one example of several emotional moments of wonder and joy experienced by the family.

I am pleased with ChatGPT’s assistance in summarizing Chapter 19, The Postcard Project. The result articulates the power of what the project brought to Ryan and our family. I hope others will be inspired to be creative and seek help and support. The response and success of the project made a difference for Ryan!

Postcard Puzzle – Happy 10th Birthday
2004 – Ryan Tomoff – Louisiana Tech Women’s Basketball Staff
2004 – Ryan Tomoff – St. Johns Men’s Soccer
Ryan Tomoff – Brazil Soccer Jersey
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Personal Development Will Be Difficult. Embrace Adversity.

Working with my twin Don and I will be challenging. We will push you, and yes, it will be uncomfortable. We will ask you to demand more from yourself – because there IS MORE potential within all of us. The reward of personal growth – for ourselves and others – is compelling. We have experienced the benefits throughout our lives and careers, and thus why we are so committed to encouraging others.

We credit our mindset of continual learning, acceptance of being wrong, and failing over and over to our background as college and competitive marathon distance runners. Today’s Daily Stoic email asks, “When Is The Last Time You Challenged Yourself?”

The fact is, we all will face adversity in our lives. Unavoidably, extreme adversity may be thrust upon us, and we have no choice but to respond with every ounce of our being. In my family, my son Ryan’s childhood cancer diagnosis on October 17, 1996, changed our lives forever. His and our family’s story is told in Terri Tomoff’s memoir The Focused Fight.

Yet, outside of fate forcing adversity upon us, there is strength in placing ourselves in positions of chosen adversity. I encourage reading the short blog post linked above and contemplating where you might most immediately apply in your life. Highlights from the post:

“It’s very easy to get comfortable. To build up your life exactly how you want it to be. Minimize inconveniences and hand off the stuff you don’t like to do. To find what you enjoy, where you enjoy it, and never leave.

A velvet rut is what it’s called. It’s nice, but the comfort tricks you into thinking that you’re not stuck.”

“…as soon as we stop growing, we start dying. Or at least, we become more vulnerable to the swings of Fate and Fortune. Seneca talked over and over again about the importance of adversity, of not only embracing the struggle life throws at us but actively seeking out that difficulty, so you can be stronger and better and more prepared. A person who has never been challenged, he said, who always gets their way, is a tragic figure. They have no idea what they are capable of. They are not even close to fulfilling their potential.

“Prioritize a few minutes to contemplate, “What personal development challenge is most interesting or impactful for me, and how can I chip away every day, embracing the difficulty, so I can be stronger, better, and more prepared?”

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The Magic of Special Love

October 17, 1996. The day our family heard the words “Ryan has Cancer.” Ryan is my son – born on August 16, 1994. At two years and two months old, his and our family’s lives were forever changed.

Less than one year later, our family was introduced to the Special Love organization (SL), whose mission is to support children and families fighting childhood cancer. My post here shares the blessing of support and magic that the wonderful people of SL have brought to Ryan and our family over the past 25+ years.

Through Ryan’s cancer fights, we have encountered kindness, compassion, and selfless giving that many may never see in a lifetime. Children, siblings, and parents in the childhood cancer fight are often isolated and lonely and have few people in their life to “turn to” to help cope with the tragic experience of the cancer diagnosis, extended treatment of years, and lives turned upside down, that will never return to the “normal,” before cancer, state. Mostly, friends and family members don’t know what to say or do, and they also must carry on with their lives.

In her book, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, a memoir of Ryan and our family’s experience, Terri references a poem that was provided to us shortly after his 1996 leukemia diagnosis. The poem is titled “Welcome to Holland.”

Welcome To Holland

by Emily Perl Kingsley

Copyright©1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. 

All rights reserved. 

Reprinted by permission of the author.

“I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.” “Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

 It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.”

***

A short time after Ryan’s diagnosis, we met Kathy Russell at Georgetown Hospital, and she was the person to introduce the Special Love organization to our family. We did not know it, but Special Love was a part of the “Holland” that our family had now traveled to in our life’s journey. In September 1997, only 11 months after diagnosis, our family attended a weekend event called “Under 7” for cancer kids under the age of seven and their families. This was the start of a community that became life-enhancing for Ryan and our family.

Tom and Sheila Baker founded Special Love in 1983 after losing their daughter Julia in 1976 to lymphoma. Turning tragedy into good… “Something clicked,” Tom later recalled. “It was as close as I’ve ever felt to a divine calling.” 

Our introduction to the Special Love organization and events throughout the year gave our family a “home” where we could learn from and be supported by others who had traveled or were traveling the road that Ryan and our family were now on. Once Ryan was 7 years old, he attended the signature camp of Special Love, “Camp Fantastic,” Olivia went on to attend “BRASS Camp” for brothers and sisters of siblings fighting cancer. Terri and I met many families who became part of our support network and are now lifelong friends. The children and parents were in an environment where others “understood” the challenges and bonds developed that have endured over the past 25 years and counting.

Ryan attended Camp Fantastic for a record 11 straight years until he aged out at 18 years old. He has gone on to become a camp counselor for what he notes is “the best week of the year.” Olivia attended the BRASS Camp for many years, met her lifelong best friend, Liz, and also served as a counselor. In 2018, I was honored to join the board of directors of Special Love and am now in my sixth year of spreading the good word about the life-changing work this organization does for those fighting childhood cancer.

In April 2019, Ryan presented to a crowd of about 300 supporters at the annual Special Love Gala. I had offered to help Ryan prepare for his speech, but he insisted he did not need my help. The night of the gala, I introduced Ryan and did not know the contents of his speech. Here we were, “winging it [or so I thought – a secret – Ryan had diligently prepared],” and I felt nervous about him to be stepping up to the stage and speaking from the heart. I will never forget my immense pride as Ryan took over the podium after my introduction. He spoke for the next eight minutes or so, sharing the power of what Special Love had done for him and our family. I was emotional and choked up for him – my son had just turned into a young man right before my eyes!

Ryan Tomoff Speaks at the 2019 Special Love Gala

To fully understand the power of Special Love, Erica Nuebert Campbell – Executive Director at Pinky Swear Foundation, Special Love volunteer, and former board member, sums it up beautifully in this quote:

“In a tough situation, few people wake up every morning and say, ‘I’m going to be resilient today.’  Most people under extreme stress wake up with heavy hearts but with a small quiet voice that tells them never to give up. Resilience is listening to that small inner voice and finding people and organizations to help you slowly turn up the volume.”

Our friends at Special Love help connect cancer families, and indeed, over time, the families are able to “turn up the volume” to receive support and to return the support to others in need. When our family arrived in “Holland,” Special Love was there waiting for us.

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The “Virtually No One” Community – Join the Initiative!

Inspired by Seth Godin’s blog posted on January 2, 2023, my twin Don and I are starting the “Virtually No One” community. This community is for people who personally and professionally take “the road less traveled” and, in the long run, are making a compelling difference for themselves and their world.

Virtually no one is enough. Our lives and this community are committed to believing that a small act, thinking differently, and using our talents to solve problems, one individual does make a difference. We trust this to the core as we have seen proof throughout our lives and careers that our early adopter mindset, combined with a vision of potential, has exponentially rewarded, over and over. We know our beliefs and actions are “changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.”

Seth’s blog notes:

“Compared to the overall population, virtually no one built Wikipedia, virtually no one voted for that senator and virtually no one starts a business. Virtually no one cares enough to help a stranger in need, and virtually no one leads the way.

And that’s okay.

Because virtually no one is enough.

“When we “see” the potential of thinking and working differently, the space is lonely and only persistence, and long-term dedication provides hope for progress (for example – consider the Slack collaboration tool introduced in 2016 – highly resisted in its early days, but now ubiquitous along with Microsoft Teams, in today’s world). The payoffs when the idea succeeds are very gratifying. To be clear, failures frequently occur, causing many to say, “I knew that wouldn’t work.” Because of the fact that failures do occur, and many folks will not move ahead (late adopters) without convincing definitive proof of success, virtually no one is willing to walk the path.

A few quotes of inspiration:

“Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats.” –Howard Aiken

Steve Jobs “Crazy Ones” Quote:

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… The ones who see things differently – they’re not fond of rules. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the one thing you can’t do is ignore them, because they change things… Because the ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. Think different.”

In all our actions, we think of helping others and helping the communities in which we live and work. Commit to personal development/self-improvement and lean on your talents to help others. Do what is right in your heart, and do not strive to “fit in” with the masses. To fit in is doing our genuine selves a disservice. We all are meant to and have so much potential to significantly contribute to the world with our unique talents.

A few examples of virtually no one community members:

  1. Don made a trip to Costco Wholesale recently and noted many stray carts in the parking lot. Case in point, virtually no one (other than an employee of Costco) will take the time to collect and return several carts to the appropriate stations and out of the vehicle’s harm’s way.
  2. How about picking up trash in our communities? Again, welcome to the virtually no one community!
  3. My wife Terri published a memoir of our son Ryan’s 5x cancer battles (The Focused Fight). Well, virtually no one writes a book.

Let’s get active and dedicate our talents and energy to making a positive contribution – in ways and areas where virtually no one, unfortunately, is paying attention. Join us, shine the light, and share your stories!

December 31, 2022 – Don Tomoff at Costco Warehouse – shopping carts assistance
July 24, 2021 – Ryan and Terri Tomoff at The Focused Fight Book Launch
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Special Love – Childhood Cancer Support Charity

Share what inspires you and provides purpose in your life… #TwinzTalk#SpeciaLove

One of my most significant opportunities and joys is serving on the board of directors for Special Love, Inc. – an organization that helps children and families fighting #ChildhoodCancer. My relationship with the organization’s mission is very personal; my son Ryan and our family have been on the receiving side of their services since 1997.

Please check out this 36-minute No Politics #Podcast for a great discussion with Executive Director Jan Bresch. She explains so well the various programs of support that make an incredible difference for families. Looking for a well-organized and highly rated #charity to support? Look no further.

In the podcast, a portion focuses on the thoughts of a previous camper and now counselor, Julia Jones. The link to the complete reflection is in the comments – Julia does a magnificent job articulating the bonds and magic that Special Love camps create.

Here is a brief excerpt from Julia’s blog thoughts:

“𝘔𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘨𝘰 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘱𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵.

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘐 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵. 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘢 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦: 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘴, 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘶𝘱, 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱, 𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘳𝘮, 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘺𝘤𝘭𝘦, 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦, 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵. 𝘊𝘢𝘮𝘱 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦….

𝘈𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬, 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥, 𝘛𝘰𝘮 𝘉𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘳, 𝘚𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦’𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘨𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦: 𝘍𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳. 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘣 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦.”

Listen to the Music in My Heart
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Value Sharing – “Financial Stability”

Recently I read Brene Brown’s book “Dare to Lead” and she referenced a discussion with her company CFO, and the importance of “financial stability.” This resonated with me, and I believe financial stability is a value that I have carried personally and professionally, my entire life. When Brene discussed the topic, she articulated it so well that I thought, “this is me!”

“Another example of how value sharing strengthened a relationship was with my friend Chaz. To be honest, we’ve known each other for so long, I wasn’t sure that any more connecting was possible. But when he left his job as CF0 at a very successful ad agency to come work with me, there were some difficult shifts. During our values exercise, I learned that one of his values is financial stability. Now, you’re probably thinking, That makes sense—he’s your CFO and one of your closest confidants. But honestly, I had no idea. And when I wanted to take big risks or make large investments in new businesses, I made up the story that he was pushing back and asking a million questions because he didn’t trust me, or because he thought his job was to talk me out of stuff. When I learned that it was his value—not just his job—I wanted to cry. In that moment it became one of my favorite things about him. I trust him so much I could cry just writing about this. We don’t fully see people until we know their values.”

Brene Brown, book “Dare to Lead”
Bill with Brene Brown book “Dare to Lead”

I now realize that financial stability is clearly a VALUE of mine that runs to my core. This is not just a “nice to have,” but rather is a key part of the fabric of who I am as a person and professional.

Growing up, in a household with 8 siblings, we all learned early on the importance of hard work to achieve goals. We all earned whatever spending money we had, and while our core needs were met, family vacations and trips were not part of the family routine. We all grew up fiercely independent, and I have argued later in life, that this was to a fault.

“People need people.” A favorite quote of mine is

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

–African Proverb

 

When our father passed away in 1974, my sophomore year in high school, hard work and making our dreams come true was squarely on our shoulders. Even when we did not “know” what those dreams were. To this day, I have always taken great pride in earning what I have in life. I stress this personally and professionally, thankful for opportunities, and am always committed to “leaving it all on the field” relative to giving my best effort at every endeavor I chose to pursue. These efforts translated into my running career, college academics, personal growth and development, and work efforts to earn money and save for college.

Personal finance has always been a strong interest of mine. How do I protect assets and provide for my family, over the long haul? The personality that I brought to the family was one of austerity, while truly believing we were “living the dream.” Core practices include living beneath means, saving relentlessly for the future, 401(k) saving contributions were always given the highest priority, steady work to assess and reduce spending, refuse to take a home mortgage beyond 15 years, refuse to carry credit card debt, and drive cars for many many years, as reliability allowed. A consistent mindset of make the most of what we have, and treasure what we have.

In 1996, when my son Ryan was diagnosed with Leukemia, the need for full-time employment, insurance coverage and concern about financial demands of our family life and Ryan’s health out-of-pocket costs, created intense focus on managing our financial resources. Desperate to survive, cash was protected wherever possible, and this again drove back to my concern for financial stability. The reality is that treatment costs, employment stability, etc. amount to stresses that unfortunately can bankrupt families who are forced to travel the childhood cancer road. My family has been blessed with emotional and financial support that helped us survive the journey to today. Today, Ryan is a five time cancer survivor, and we are living our lives concerned for his future and financial needs he will face. Yet, we are so blessed, and treasure each day that is gifted to us, as a family with both our daughter Olivia and son Ryan.

During my business career, I grew to understand and embrace the importance of financial stability and the need for a strong balance sheet and cash position. As Abe Pollin, Washington Sports & Entertainment owner, once said to me, “cash is king.” I had always, inherently, felt this way, but now Mr. Pollin was emphasizing it from the perspective of the survival of his business world. This thought is embraced to this day, and one that I take very seriously. In my job responsibilities as CFO with InstallNET International, my concern for the organization cash position and building up the financial strength of the balance sheet, was a part of my “fabric” of who I was. This revelation really hit home when reading Brene Brown’s book! It turns out that a career in accounting was perfectly suited to the demeanor of the person who I was. That connection never was fully noted, in my case, and it was gratifying to see the value of financial stability so perfectly articulated.