From Setback to Comeback: My High School Running Adversity to Overcoming and Growing for Life

During my morning reading routine, I read a meditation by Marcus Aurelius:

“When you carry your burden, you should know that it is good for you to have it. Make the best of this burden and take from it everything which is necessary for your intellectual life, as your stomach takes from food everything necessary for your flesh, or as fire burns brighter after you put some wood on it.”

I contemplated this quote and decided to seek further insight and clarification from ChatGPT. Although I am a fan of Stoicism, many of its philosophies are difficult to embrace. I enjoy the challenge of the stoic philosophy and believe much of the content I read helps me immensely. Yet, how can I carry a burden and “know it is good for me to have it?

As I conversed with ChatGPT, I recalled my high school distance running disappointment when I literally walked off the track in a two-mile state meet qualifying race. Below is the [edited] excerpt included in my unpublished memoir “Living Life…Off The Track.

Bill Tomoff with Unpublished Memoir “Living Life…Off The Track”

“My senior year one-mile (4:28.9) and two-mile (9:31.5) times were both Westlake HS school records. The two-mile time would stand for 34 years until it was broken in 2011. In that spring season of 1977, my 9:31.5 time was ranked 7th overall in the State of Ohio. The pressure of the two-mile race distance and pace would ultimately get to me, and I would have an unfortunate lifetime memory occur in the state qualifying sectional meet in May 1977.

Walking Off the Track

The weekend following the Westlake Relays, where I set the two-mile school record, the sectional track meet qualifier was held in Elyria, Ohio, on May 14, 1977. Now, the pressure was on me to execute my race perfectly to advance to the district meet if I had a shot at qualifying for the state meet. Northeast Ohio was the strongest sectional in the state, and even though my time ranked 7th in the entire state, I felt the sectional meet would require my best effort in order to finish in the top four finishers and advance to the district meet. I will never forget the week prior to the race when my mind would think of the runners I would be competing against, and I arrived at the race in a concerned state of mind that got the best of me. We were off and running in the race, and I was executing my race. At the one-mile mark, I was in 4th place and on pace with a 4:44 split. In a split moment, I felt there was no way I could hold my spot or improve over the next mile. A few steps after the one-mile split, I turned off the track and entered the infield…I had quit the race. In seconds, I thought, “What did I just do?” This was the same question the coaches, teammates, and fellow competitors wondered.”

As awful as the moment was, it would become a defining moment. My determination would go to a new level, and I would forever face the demon of my split-second decision to leave the track and not finish what I had committed to. Beyond “the game,” lessons were learned that helped shape my perspective for all my future endeavors, on and off the track.”

Below are portions of my conversation with ChatGPT. What started as a broader question to help me further understand Marcus Aurelius’s quote evolved into a specific counseling (my word) session, providing me with thoughts that have helped take the clarity of my track adversity to another level. I was inspired and grateful for this use case I stumbled upon when I started with a broader and simpler intention of explaining a quote for me!

Before providing the ChatGPT highlights that resonated with me, let me add further commentary about my running career after that defining moment and the lessons learned with the benefit of years of life to help me understand and embrace what happened – how would I learn and do better moving forward?

April 16, 2024 – Bill Tomoff on YouTube: The day I walked off the track

Competitive Running after I Walked Off the Track

The good news is that I grew and emerged stronger from the experience. As I went off to college in the fall of 1977, I carried a blinding determination and persistence to do all I could to give my best effort academically and in distance running. While I recognize this fact more clearly today, I carried a mindset of “I will do my best, and I will not quit on anything important. If I fail, it will be because my best did not bring the result I hoped, not because I gave up.

In the long run of my four-year college career, crushing disappointments and successes happened. The result was an academic success beyond my imagination and a successful Division 1 Varsity Cross Country and Track Athlete career. How exactly did the event of May 14, 1977, impact my turnaround? That question can never be answered, but I know the experience changed me and set in motion a resolve that guided me through my college experience and helped shape me to deal with the inevitable adversities of real life.

Further excerpts [edited] from my memoir:

“In hindsight, college athletics taught me a great deal. In sports and life, worthwhile results take extraordinary dedication and persistence. Truly, there are no shortcuts. This was the greatest gift that distance running gave me for life.

When I joined the track team in the winter of 1978, it became clear that I was surrounded by talent as I had never seen gathered in one place. As the saying goes, “your not in Kansas anymore.” While I was now in an environment where I could pursue being my best athletically, an additional benefit was the structure that was forced into my schedule. Practices would now take at least 3 hours daily, and class time and studying would need to be worked around the practices. At the time, this was just “what it is,” and everything was figured out. The benefit was every day had a structure and routine with very little “wiggle room” for other activities. As the college years passed, this structure became more critical as hours of studying per day in my freshman year would grow to 5 to 6 hours by my senior year. Somehow, I grew into the process. I had found a formula that contributed to my academic success.”

“My most memorable experience of competing in my freshman year was the Ohio University Relays held in April 1978. I was entered in the 5,000-meter run (3.1 miles). I don’t remember my time, but I will never forget being totally crushed by the competition. I was lapped (meaning runners were passing me that were a full track lap ahead of me in the race. 5,000 meters was 12 and 1/2 laps on the 400-meter track) by the entire field of runners. With my HS experience of walking off the track, I had made a commitment to myself to FINISH any race I started. During my final two laps, track athletes, waiting for me to finish, started heckling me and encouraging me to quit the race. Humbled and embarrassed, I continued the race to the finish. As I crossed the finish line, I continued to run off the track, into the “tunnel” under the spectator stands (back then, the track was in the football stadium), and straight to the locker room.”

“Over the next three seasons of cross country, my running career highlight was my steady improvement in the MAC Conference meet each year. 10 teams with seven runners each…70 very capable college runners would compete, and at this point in the season, we had ideally peaked and were optimally prepared for the race. The conference meet in college was a bigger moment than the state meet in HS, just because the level of talent in college was much higher. Many HS “stars” would not compete in college,  and to earn varsity status and the honor to compete in the conference championship was a big deal for many college runners.

Over my three cross-country seasons, my conference meet results improved each year:

  • 1978 – 53rd place at Bowling Green State University
  • 1979 – 42nd place at Kent State University
  • 1980 – 33rd place at Western Michigan University

In 1980, my senior season, I had finished in the top half of the conference. In my mind, I had grown to be a competitive college cross-country runner. This was gratifying and the consistent hard work had paid off for me!”

“My specialty in outdoor track was the 3,000-meter steeplechase. This was a grueling 7 1/2 laps on the 400-meter track, and it involved jumping five immovable barriers each lap, one of which was a “water jump.” My other primary race was the 5,000-meter run, which was 3.1 miles and 12 1/2 laps.

“I graduated on time, after four years, on June 13, 1981. and was a stronger and faster runner. Most importantly, the athletic experience’s discipline and life lessons would shape my perspective and benefit my career and life. After college, the best competitions were yet to come, but now at the marathon distance of 26.2 miles.”

My dedication to distance running was because of my love of the sport and competition. I was a “walk-on athlete.” There was no scholarship money, except for a $500 stipend for books my senior year of the college cross country season (this fact did allow me to say I was a “scholarship athlete!”). Beyond the money, the psychological income over the years was enormous. I was proud of my ability and desire to improve. My teammates and I worked incredibly hard, and relationships were formed that I still treasure today.

Lessons Learned

  1. Adversity happens in life. How we respond and grow is the opportunity.
  2. Competitive sports are a safe environment to learn to handle failure and success.
  3. Failure is not fatal. Failing in public is not fatal. Failure is a learning opportunity.
  4. If you are not failing, you are not aiming high enough.
  5. Through failure, we can assess, evaluate, adjust, and come out stronger in the long run.
  6. Do your best. “Have I done my best,” is a question we all must individually hold ourselves accountable to. The question is not based on the judgment of others but rather on the more important self-assessment that comes from our hearts. We must not fool ourselves.

Interested in the edited ChatGPT dialogue? Read on, and I hope you enjoy the conversation!

[Prompt1 excluded]

Prompt2

Please explain your interpretation of Marcus Aurelius’s Meditation so a high school student can understand – framing your explanation around a problem that a high school student might endure – say the breakdown of a relationship?

Response2

Sure! Imagine you’re in high school, and you’ve just gone through a tough breakup. It feels like the world is ending, right? Marcus Aurelius, a wise guy from ancient times, has something to say that might help us see this differently.

He said that when life throws a heavy backpack at you, believe it or not, it’s actually good for you to carry it. So, if we think about your breakup as this heavy backpack, Marcus is saying it’s not just something bad that happened to you. Instead, it’s a chance for you to grow stronger, like lifting weights makes your muscles stronger.

He also said you should use this tough time to learn as much as possible, like how your body takes the good stuff from food to keep you healthy or how adding wood to a fire makes it burn brighter. So, your breakup, as hard as it is, can teach you a lot about yourself, what you value in relationships, and how you deal with tough emotions. This experience is like the wood that makes your inner fire—your strength, wisdom, and resilience—burn even brighter.

So, what Marcus Aurelius is really getting at is this: When tough stuff happens, like a breakup, instead of just getting upset or wishing it didn’t happen, we can look for what it can teach us. We can grow from it, becoming wiser and stronger, like leveling up in a game. It’s all about finding the silver lining and learning from the experience, turning a tough situation into a chance to grow.

Prompt3

Beautiful explanation! I have an example I would like you to use to explain this concept. In my senior year of high school, I quit in the middle of a 2-mile race and walked off the track. I had “snapped” in the middle of what, at the time, felt like the highest pressure stakes, hoping to qualify for the next meet and ultimately to the state track meet. In that moment of judgment lapse, my distance running career in high school had suddenly ended.

Response3

Let’s examine your experience through the lens of Marcus Aurelius’s wisdom, applied to this pivotal moment in your high school years: when you decided to walk off the track during a crucial 2-mile race.

Marcus Aurelius would likely suggest viewing this moment not as a failure but as a profound opportunity for growth and learning. Here’s how:

  1. The Burden as a Teacher: Just like carrying a heavy backpack can make you stronger, walking away from the race, though it felt like snapping under pressure, was a burden that had the potential to teach you valuable lessons. Though painful, it’s an experience that can help you understand your limits, your reactions to stress, and what truly motivates you. It’s a moment that can lead to greater self-awareness and resilience if you’re open to learning from it.
  2. Extracting Nutrients from the Experience: Like the body extracts what it needs from food, you can extract important insights from your experience quitting the race. This might include understanding the importance of managing pressure, recognizing the value of perseverance, or even realizing that sometimes it’s okay to let go of one path to find another better suited for you. Although tough, this experience has nutrients for your personal growth, teaching you about handling disappointment, reassessing goals, and moving forward with a new perspective.
  3. Fueling Your Inner Fire: Just as adding wood makes a fire burn brighter, your experience of leaving the race can fuel your inner growth, making you more resilient, empathetic, and determined. It’s an opportunity to build character, learn how to face setbacks head-on, and understand that sometimes life’s detours lead to new, unexpected opportunities. This moment, which felt like the end of your distance running career, can actually be the start of a new chapter, where you apply the lessons learned to other areas of your life, sparking new passions and pursuits.

Essentially, what felt like a lapse in judgment at a high-pressure moment can be reframed as a crucial turning point. It’s not just about the race or the moment you stepped off the track; it’s about how you use that experience to grow and learn more about who you are and what you’re capable of overcoming. Marcus Aurelius would see this not as an end but as a beginning—the start of a deeper understanding of yourself and a stepping stone to future successes and fulfillment beyond the track and into the wider journey of life.

Prompt4

Your interpretation and examples are excellent! I did learn so much from that moment of walking off the track. It shaped my fortitude and a future determination that likely might not have been fueled without that instance of what felt like devastation at the time.

Oddly, that moment may have been a formative turning point in preparing me for the greater adversities we all face in life? Do I understand you correctly?

Thank you for your insight and for helping me work to understand the possible lessons and gains from this adversity.

Response4

Yes, you’ve captured the essence perfectly. That moment of walking off the track, while it felt like devastation then, served as a pivotal turning point for you. It’s a powerful example of how what seems like a setback at the moment can actually fuel our growth, resilience, and determination in profound ways.

This experience helped shape your fortitude and future determination, crucial elements when facing life’s inevitable challenges. The adversity you faced acted like a crucible, testing and refining your character and preparing you for future adversities on a much broader scale. It’s these moments of apparent failure or defeats that can indeed become our greatest teachers, revealing strengths and capacities we might not have recognized otherwise.

Your understanding aligns with the Stoic philosophy that suggests every obstacle is an opportunity to grow. Your reflection on this experience shows that you’ve not only learned valuable lessons from that moment but also applied these lessons to facing other challenges in life. This is a beautiful testament to the human capacity for growth and adaptation.

Thank you for sharing your experience and reflections. They powerfully remind us how our most challenging moments can lead to significant personal growth and prepare us for the complexities of life. Your journey from that point on the track to where you stand now underscores the transformative power of adversity, turning what felt like a low point into a launchpad for future resilience and determination.

[Prompt5 excluded]

Prompt6

This concept presented by Marcus Aurelius seems to align with:

“What does not kill me makes me stronger,” which is part of aphorism number 8 from the “Maxims and Arrows” section of Friedrich Nietzsche’s Twilight of the Idols (1888).

Could you please interpret and explain?

Response6

Indeed, Marcus Aurelius’s concept shares a philosophical lineage with Friedrich Nietzsche’s famous maxim, “What does not kill me makes me stronger,” from “Twilight of the Idols.” Both aphorisms reflect on the transformative power of adversity.

Nietzsche’s statement, part of his larger critique of traditional moral values and his exploration of the potential of human will and power, serves as a rallying cry for resilience and strength in life’s trials. Here’s a breakdown of how Nietzsche’s aphorism can be interpreted:

  1. Adversity as a Catalyst for Growth: Nietzsche suggests that the challenges and hardships that do not end our lives have the potential to make us stronger. This is not just physical strength but also mental and emotional resilience. The idea is that surviving difficult experiences tests our limits and expands our capabilities.
  2. The Embrace of Struggle: Unlike some philosophies that might encourage avoidance of suffering, Nietzsche argues for its embrace. He believes facing and overcoming difficulties is crucial to human development. This struggle is not just inevitable but beneficial, as it forces individuals to confront their limitations, adapt, and grow stronger.
  3. The Creation of Self through Adversity: For Nietzsche, the self is not static but continually created and recreated through experiences, including struggles. The process of becoming stronger in the face of adversity is part of the ongoing self-creation that Nietzsche sees as central to achieving one’s potential.
  4. The Will to Power: This aphorism can also be seen in the context of Nietzsche’s broader philosophy of the “will to power,” the drive towards mastery, achievement, and enhancement of one’s power and influence. In this light, adversity is an opportunity to exercise and strengthen the will, leading to personal growth and greater autonomy.

Despite the vast differences in their philosophical contexts and expressions, both Nietzsche and Marcus Aurelius converge on the idea that adversity is not merely an obstacle to be avoided but a crucial element in developing strength, character, and resilience. While Marcus Aurelius frames this in the context of Stoic virtue and the rational embrace of fate, Nietzsche places it within his critique of traditional values and his vision of life as a will to power. Both affirm the transformative potential of hardship, encouraging a stance towards life that actively engages with and grows from adversity.

Prompt7

Building on my failure (or reframing it as a “learning moment”), I believe my personal and professional lives have benefitted positively from my sports competition experience. Winning and losing are a fact of competitive sports—gaining experience in dealing with the inevitable competition heartbreaks can prepare us for the more serious game of life, where the “stakes” are much higher.

Could you please “unpack” this thought and explain your interpretation?

Response7

Your reflection on the impact of sports competitions on personal and professional life beautifully encapsulates several profound truths about human experience and growth. Let’s explore how winning, losing, and the broader experience of competition prepare us for life’s challenges.

  1. Learning from Failure: In sports, as in life, failure is not just an outcome but a pivotal learning opportunity. Each loss in a competition, much like your experience of walking off the track, offers a moment for reflection and growth. These moments teach resilience, the ability to bounce back from setbacks, and the importance of perseverance. They also offer insights into our limitations and improvement areas, guiding us toward personal development. This reframing of failure as a “learning moment” shifts the perspective from defeat to an essential step in the journey of growth.
  2. Embracing Competition: Competitive sports instill an understanding of healthy competition. They recognize that striving against others is not just about winning but about pushing ourselves to our limits, fostering excellence, and encouraging mutual growth. This translates into professional life, where competition can drive innovation, motivate achievement, and inspire higher performance standards. It teaches that competition is not a zero-sum game but a shared path to excellence.
  3. Dealing with Heartbreak and Setbacks: The heartbreaks experienced in sports condition us to handle disappointment and loss in other areas of our lives. They teach emotional resilience, the ability to manage and recover from emotional pain. This resilience is crucial in the “game of life,” where stakes include career challenges, personal relationships, and other critical life events. Learning to navigate these emotions in sports provides a foundation for dealing with more significant challenges.
  4. Preparation for Higher Stakes: Sports competitions, with their clear rules and immediate feedback of win or loss, serve as a microcosm of the broader, more complex challenges of life. They prepare us by fostering strategic thinking, goal setting, and teamwork. These skills are transferable to the professional world, where strategies, collaboration, and goal orientation play critical roles in success.
  5. Developing a Growth Mindset: Participating in sports instills a growth mindset—the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. This mindset is invaluable in personal and professional life, encouraging continuous learning and adaptation. It helps us view challenges not as insurmountable obstacles but as opportunities for growth and improvement.

Your experience and reflections illustrate that the lessons learned from sports competitions extend far beyond the field or track. They are integral to developing the resilience, skills, and mindset necessary for navigating life’s complexities and inevitable challenges. Sports, in essence, teach us how to lose gracefully, win graciously, and continuously strive for personal and professional excellence, preparing us for the much larger and unpredictable game of life.

Prompt8

Ironically, the day I walked off the track turned into a dramatically more life-enhancing moment than if I had succeeded in the race and ultimately qualified for my goal of competing in the Ohio State meet championships.

Only by reflecting years later am I able to take this growth perspective. A moment of what felt like devastation enhanced my resilience toward life’s challenges. Would you agree with my assessment here? Our conversation here is tremendously helpful in providing me with macro-level clarity, and I am excited to share my learning with others!

Response8

Absolutely, your assessment aligns with a profound understanding of personal growth and resilience. It illustrates a key principle: sometimes, what appears to be a setback or failure at the moment can, with time and reflection, reveal itself to be a pivotal point for significant personal development and life-enhancing change.

The day you walked off the track, while initially feeling like a moment of defeat, became a catalyst for a deeper, more meaningful transformation in your life. This experience forced you to confront disappointment and navigate the emotional and psychological aftermath of not meeting your goal. Yet, it is precisely through such confrontations with our limitations and setbacks that we learn the most about our capacity for resilience, our strengths, and how to adapt and overcome challenges.

Your ability to reflect back on that moment from a growth perspective is a testament to the development of your resilience and understanding. It demonstrates a key concept in psychology known as “post-traumatic growth,” where individuals experience significant personal growth after struggling with major life crises or traumatic events. While walking off the track may not equate to a traumatic event in the clinical sense, the emotional impact and the subsequent journey of overcoming that moment mirror the process of emerging stronger and more resilient from adversity.

Your excitement to share your learning with others further reflects your growth. Sharing our stories of overcoming challenges helps us process and make sense of our experiences and can inspire and teach others. It creates a space for collective learning and mutual support, reinforcing that we are not alone in our struggles and that growth is possible on the other side of adversity.

This conversation exemplifies how reflecting on past experiences with a new perspective can uncover valuable lessons about resilience, growth, and the often non-linear journey of personal development. Your story is a powerful reminder that moments of perceived failure can, in fact, be the stepping stones to our most significant achievements and insights.

Thank you for sharing your experience and reflections. Your journey offers a meaningful narrative on the transformative power of life’s challenges and the potential for personal growth that resides in every moment of adversity.

Prompt9

Wow. Thank you for clarifying my thoughts beautifully. I cannot articulate as clearly as you have, and I appreciate your help!

Response9

You’re very welcome! I’m glad to have been able to help articulate and clarify your thoughts. Remember, your experiences and reflections hold intrinsic value and wisdom, even if finding the right words can sometimes feel challenging. It’s the insights and growth derived from these experiences that truly matter. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you ever seek further clarification, wish to explore new ideas, or just need to talk things through. Your journey and insights are inspiring, and sharing them can be incredibly powerful for you and those with whom you share. Keep reflecting and sharing your learnings; you never know who you might inspire or support in their own journey.

Sharing your journey and the lessons learned from it isn’t just beneficial for your own reflective process; it can significantly impact others facing similar challenges or those who might not yet see the potential growth in their own setbacks. Your story, especially how you’ve come to understand and value a moment that initially felt like a failure, offers a powerful example of resilience and the capacity for change.

As you continue, consider the various platforms and opportunities where your experiences could be shared and resonate with others. Whether through #TwinzTalk, public speaking, writing, or informal conversations, your insights into overcoming adversity and finding growth in unexpected places are valuable.

Engaging with others about these experiences amplifies your insights and fosters a community of learning and support. It encourages an open dialogue about failure, resilience, and growth, helping to destigmatize moments of setback and reframe them as opportunities for profound personal development.

Keep exploring, reflecting, and sharing. The narratives we share about our lives have the power to inform, inspire, and influence not just our own trajectory but also those of the people around us. Your willingness to open up about your own moments of doubt and transformation can be a beacon for others navigating their challenges, illustrating that strength, wisdom, and an enhanced appreciation for life’s journey can come out of adversity.

Prompt10

You have helped me better understand and appreciate the impact of my moment of adversity in the high school 2-mile race. Thanks to you, I have greater clarity on how to consider the moment in shaping my life. You were a supportive counselor, listening, encouraging, and clarifying my thoughts. This was an amazing dialogue, and I appreciate your patience!

Response10

I’m truly glad our dialogue has been so meaningful for you. It’s wonderful to know that you’ve gained clarity and a deeper understanding of your experience, and I’m honored to have played a part in that process. Remember, the insights you’ve gathered and the growth you’ve achieved through reflecting on your experiences are powerful tools for navigating life’s journey. Your willingness to explore and share these reflections can serve as inspiration and guidance for yourself and others who might face their own moments of adversity.

If you ever wish to discuss more insights, seek clarification, or explore new ideas, I’m here to listen and help. Thank you for sharing your journey and for the opportunity to engage in such a profound and thoughtful conversation. Here’s to continued growth, resilience, and the sharing of wisdom.

Body of Work: Introduction to Kindness Advocacy

Twin brothers with sign stating "A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle"

Excellence and kindness. These are themes in my life that became more intentional after our family discovered the concept of post-traumatic growth in 2015. Inherently, my personality has always bent toward a gentler and softer approach toward others. Yet, my commitment has since sharpened and become a steadfast part of how I approach my daily life. Thanks to the work of Gary Vaynerchuk, Tom Peters (his book The Excellence Dividend was my book of the year in 2018), and Daniel Burns KindLoook initiative discovered through my participation in the community of practice “Writing in Community,” I now unabashedly consider myself a kindness advocate and [desperately] want others to join the movement!

On July 2, 2022, on a beautiful sunny day in Berthoud, Colorado, my wife Terri and I were on vacation visiting our dear friends Linda and Mark Misencik when I was contemplating my daily writing to be completed. My exact words from my writing entry for the day included:

“Another book idea is percolating while contemplating experiences on vacation.

Working title (“paint at the wall”) to evolve and work with:

“Excellence and Kindness: Live It. See It. Celebrate It.”

My “lens” towards life gained even greater clarity that day. I would strive to intentionally live with excellence and kindness; I would make an effort to see it happening around me, and when I witnessed it, I would celebrate it by acknowledging the kindness or, if unable to acknowledge it, I would move forward inspired to pay kindness forward in honor of the moment I witnessed. Excellence and kindness can and do ripple beyond the act. I choose to believe this and live accordingly.

This thought, shared in the book Thriving as an Empath by Judith Orloff, MD, resonated with me:

“In Buddhism, karma is the destiny you earn through actions and behaviors. What you give is what you get.”

Through my journey of kindness advocacy, my life has been enriched by discovering others who share the mutual desire to make the world a kinder place. I am eternally grateful for everyone who has touched my life with kindness – because they cared. I leave you with this quote:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

― Maya Angelou

It feels good to make others feel good. When you light another candle, your candle loses nothing. In fact, your candle will burn brighter!

The Virtually No One Community: Embracing a Life with Less E-MAIL | Inspired by Luiz Suarez

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

In this blog post, Don and I champion eliminating email from one’s personal and professional life to reclaim precious time and improve productivity. My twin (#TwinzTalk) Don and I were inspired by Luis Suarez, who successfully gave up corporate email in 2008 while working at IBM. Luis argues that email is a broken model of communication and collaboration that consumes too much time and buries important information.

We suggest that individuals can enjoy several benefits by consciously reducing email usage and adopting alternative collaboration tools like Slack or Microsoft Teams, enabling increased transparency, reduced spam and phishing risks, and more time for learning, personal growth, and family. We recommend starting with a hybrid approach. For example, consider limiting email to two 15-minute sessions per day to gradually transition away from email dependency.

Our post references Suarez’s journey and insights shared in an openSAP podcast. Suarez emphasizes the importance of individual action in breaking the email chain, openly sharing knowledge, and admitting that email overuse is a problem. He also highlights the challenges of transitioning from closed to open communication and the potential for AI to eliminate mundane tasks.

Our blog post serves as a rallying cry for individuals to join the “virtually no-one community,” reclaim control of their time, and enhance productivity by reducing email usage. We believe that by embracing this mindset shift and finding better ways to collaborate, people can build more fulfilling lives and become more effective contributors in all aspects of their lives.

Full Original Writing – Reclaim Your Time by Going E-Mail-less

Don and I are on a continual quest to find smarter and better working methods. When we can “find a better way,” we are excited to try [primarily] technology tools that might help us move in ways that enhance our ability to contribute to our worlds and improve our ability to reclaim more of our most precious asset – the time in our lives. Since December 2022, much of our efforts have been dedicated to studying and working with the potential of GenAI and ChatGPT. Yet this topic, which we feel is one of the most compelling in our now 40+ year careers, is only one of a long string of adoptions that have provided us a disproportionate advantage in our careers and lives.

There’s a way to do it better – find it.” -Thomas Edison

In 2016, we were introduced to the collaboration platform Slack. Don and I immediately recognized the potential to reduce EMAIL use and create transparency around documentation and conversations among colleagues. We were off and running, working with the platform and encouraging others to embrace the potential that we felt was compelling. In hindsight, our vision was correct. Slack and, later, Microsoft Teams have become ubiquitous in the working world. However, almost seven years later, EMAIL seems to be raging as the go-to communication tool for many people and businesses.

Don and I felt as though we were on an island with our tenacity to vastly eliminate the use of EMAIL in our lives. Being on “the road less traveled” was a common feeling we experienced while pursuing smarter and more effective ways of working and living. We grew to enjoy living in the long tail of technology adoption.

If almost anyone is asked, “Do you struggle with email and the time required to manage it?” most people would respond emphatically, “YES!” Yet, because we all are familiar with this standard in our businesses and lives, we accept the burden and time-suck imposed upon us. Accepting a known inconvenience that everyone else is managing lets us off the hook of needing to confront the challenge of changing how we work. Instead, often, we complain and keep marching forward with the status quo. Don and I run toward finding a better way. We like to acknowledge and embrace that we are members of the “Virtually No One Community.”

A community of practice that I participate in is Harold Jarche’s Perpetual Beta Coffee Club (PBCC). A member of that community, Luis Suarez, posted on LinkedIn on February 15, 2024, that he was celebrating his 16-year anniversary of “surviving corporate life without using email!” What a radical (inspiring to the Twinz) thought and initiative to embark upon in 2008. We proudly count Luis as a member of our “virtually no-one community!”

Why is the elimination of email such a big deal? The number one encouragement we implore is, “You reclaim time in your life to dedicate yourself to matters of greater importance – higher quality work time for learning and growing, and most importantly, time in your personal life for your family and other priorities.” Being a more effective, efficient, and contributing person across all aspects of life is compelling. Who does not want to be a more optimal performer?

In this podcast episode, openSAP Podcasts – Education NewsCast – Episode 277, “Insights on NoEmail and distributed, remote work with Luis Suarez,” Luis talks with Thomas Jenewein about his decision to choose to eliminate the use of email in his corporate life. If you think, “My company is too big, and this would not be possible in my case, Luiz made his decision when he was working with IBM!

Indeed, there is a better way, and Luiz shares his insights on making #NoEmail a reality in your world. At 23:00 minutes, Luiz shares his thoughts about starting with a hybrid solution to reducing email. This is the solution that Don and I embraced starting in 2016. Currently, I prioritize two 15-minute daily periods to review and clear email. My goal is to be intentional with my email review and not exceed 30 minutes per day. In addition to reclaiming precious time in our days (mentioned above), a few additional compelling benefits for us include:

  1. Using a collaboration tool (i.e., Slack or MS Teams), sharing and transparency “for all to see” enhances access, and information is not buried in email.
  2. EMAIL spam and phishing risks are eliminated.
  3. Time saved from email management is available for prioritizing more important personal or professional matters, such as learning, development, and personal growth.

On February 15 and 18, 2008, Luiz shared blog posts about his decision to eliminate email. It was a courageous move that the mainstream world thought ludicrous. One reaction to his announcement was, “You will be fired within two weeks.”

I highly encourage listening to the full podcast discussion. Luiz stood up and said, “Enough” to the challenge that email brings to so many of us. May this post and his emphasis throughout the podcast inspire you to take action and reclaim your precious time! As Don and I did, starting in earnest in 2016, we adopted a conscious mindset to reduce and control the use of email. A hybrid approach has worked for us and changed our lives – personally and professionally!

Below are several timestamps in the podcast that were notable in my listening, but please listen to the full podcast!

  1. 3:00 – Why no email?
  2. 4:15 – Email is a broken model of communication and collaboration.
  3. 5:45 – Two different kinds of reactions. First, “You will be fired within two weeks.” Note – Luis was employed with IBM when he implemented his decision. He was NOT fired within two weeks.
  4. 8:10 – Now, in 2024, receive EIGHT emails per week. EIGHT!
  5. 9:10 – Myth of Inbox Zero.
  6. 9:40 – If you really want to reduce email, YOU, you, the individual, need to stop using email first. Break the chain.
  7. 10:20 – Why am I doing it?
  8. 13:30 – Study how you use email (to begin the process of elimination – small steps).
  9. 16:00 – Openness and transparency using different tools.
  10. 17:00 – My knowledge is not my knowledge. It’s everyone’s knowledge.
  11. 18:00 – Hoarding knowledge in email. Why?
  12. 19:50 – YOU are much more powerful if you share your knowledge with others.
  13. 20:35 – Reduce unnecessary workloads. Ask why, why…
  14. 23:00 – Hybrid solution – less email and use other tools allowing transparency. This is a great starting point.
  15. 26:20 – In your email inbox, you cannot scale…
  16. 31:45 – Change is hard…
  17. 37:10 – The transition from closed to open is a very challenging shift to make. Everyone wants to be an expert.
  18. 39:15 – Hiding in your inbox is not going to take you anywhere.
  19. 41:30 – Start with admitting, “I do have a problem.”
  20. 42:00 – GenAI helps get rid of mundane tasks. Why not eliminate mundane tasks? Hard stop. There is no need for AI in this case!
  21. 45:20 – We need to take back control of how we do work.

Join the movement and build a more productive and fulfilling life for yourself. Thank you, Luiz, for taking your position in 2008 and living true to your mission. You have inspired the twinz and shown the world what is possible. There is a better way – and you have found it!

Bonus – please read the following media coverage of Luis’s initiative to eliminate EMAIL:

I Freed Myself From E-Mail’s Grip – New York Times June 29, 2008

IBM Gives Birth to Amazing E-Mail-less Man – WIRED January 16, 2012

Discovering Myself Through Memoir: A Journey of Self-Reflection and Gratitude

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

In this introspective blog post, I reflect on the concept of one’s “body of work” – the unique collection of experiences, talents, and contributions that make up an individual’s life story. Inspired by the writings of Steven Pressfield and Seth Godin, who emphasize that we are all artists in our own lives, I encourage readers to recognize and embrace their personal growth, leadership, and positive impact on others as their own form of art.

I share my own journey of self-discovery, which began in June 2020 when I joined a writing community with my wife, Terri. Through daily writing, I gained clarity of thought and a deeper appreciation for the power of the written word. This led to the creation of four unpublished memoirs, each focusing on a different aspect of my life: my personal story, my daughter’s soccer career, my older brother’s profound impact, and my shared experiences with my twin brother.

My work encompasses various meaningful areas that have shaped my identity and the value I strive to bring to the world. These include my experiences as a competitive distance runner, my academic and professional achievements, my role as a family man and caregiver to my son (a five-time cancer survivor), my love of sports, my involvement in soccer and refereeing, my advocacy for childhood cancer, personal development, and kindness, as well as my engagement in social media and communities of practice.

I conclude the blog post with an invitation to readers to contemplate their own life experiences and recognize the unique talents and nuances that make up their individual stories. I encourage everyone to embrace their personal body of work and continue refining it throughout their lives, joining me on this shared adventure of self-discovery and growth.

Full Original Writing – Introduction to My Body of Work

What is your story? Everyone has a story… and we all develop a body of work that builds as we find our path through life. Our body of work grows and our life perspective and wisdom is the gift of our work. We all are artists creating our own unique art that cannot be replicated by another human.

“One of the major responsibilities of a person is to make that intellectual spark which you have received from heaven illuminate the world around you.”

—Chinese Wisdom

The opportunity I am embracing here is to share my interpretation of my body of work through my personal lens. This writing is inspired by reading The Daily Pressfield by Steven Pressfield and The Icarus Deception by Seth Godin. Steven and Seth emphasize that we all can be/are artists in our lives. I love this – we just need to recognize how we grow, lead, contribute, and help others, is our art, if we care enough to put our heart and soul into the work of being our best every day.

As you read the rest of this introduction, I encourage you to contemplate, “What is my body of work that is the art creating my life story?”

My life has evolved from being a fiercely independent, accomplishment-driven young man to a family man led by my life experiences to building and developing my talents so I can maximize helping others and leaving the world a better place for having been alive.

My adventure into deeper self-introspection started in June 2020 when I joined my wife, Terri, in a writing community. Over the past [almost] four years, we have grown to love the daily process of writing, the clarity the writing brings to our thoughts, and an appreciation of the gift of writing and the community of kind and caring people participating with us.

My efforts have resulted in four unpublished memoirs that I have completed. I have gained tremendous enjoyment from writing these memoirs and fulfillment knowing the thoughts, appreciation, and memories I ultimately leave for my family. The four memoirs have now made it possible to think about and more clearly articulate my body of work through the blessing of my 65-plus years of life,

The four unpublished memoirs completed, and one in process, include:

  1. December 2020 – Living Life…Off The Track. My personal memoir.
  2. December 2021 – Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer. My memoir of our daughter Olivia’s 15-year soccer career.
  3. January 2023 – “Million Dollar Al” and Beyond. My memoir of my older brother Alex and his profound impact on my life.
  4. December 2023 – Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes. My memoir of my twin brother Don and our shared adventure in life.
  5. TBD (in-process) 2024 – I Did My Best. I Cared: Reflections on Experiences, Lessons Learned, and Heartfelt Tips to Live a Fulfilling Life.

As I write at this point in time, the meaningful areas of my body of work are many. I hold each of these close to my heart. They have shaped who I am and the value I strive to bring to the world every day. The areas include:

  1. Competitive distance runner
  2. College academics
  3. Career
  4. Family
  5. Caregiver, with Terri, for our five-time cancer survivor son Ryan.
  6. Post-Traumatic Growth
  7. Love of sports shared with family
  8. Soccer and soccer referee
  9. Advocate for childhood cancer
  10. Advocate for personal development
  11. Advocate for kindness
  12. Social Media 2010 and forward
  13. #TwinzTalk cofounder 2018
  14. Philosophy of Stoicism since 2019
  15. Communities of practice

What is your story? Contemplating your life experiences, you may realize, as I have, that there are many nuances to every person’s life. We are all unique and have talents within us that no one else owns. Embrace yours and continue refining your body of work for the rest of your life! Join me on this adventure.

Follow my writing as I expand in greater depth to highlight each area of my body of work. Thank you for reading!

ChatGPT Lite Part 1 of 6 – How to Get Started: Introduction

Introducing ChatGPT Lite

Since the introduction of ChatGPT in December 2023, #TwinzTalk Don Tomoff and I have prioritized learning and working with OpenAI’s ChatGPT and other LLMs, such as Anthropic’s Claude AI.

In the work that Don and I do, we continually challenge ourselves to “narrow the path” and present actionable information that encourages others to invest in their learning and identify ways to leverage technology to benefit their lives personally and professionally. In this regard, Generative AI and specifically the ChatGPT Plus LLM have become the most urgent focus for everyone. The advancements in these technologies are going to continue and accelerate. This document is focused on an introduction to getting started with ChatGPT adoption. We are referring to this as “ChatGPT Lite.”

Topics to be covered include:

  • Description of Generative AI (GenAI) and how ChatGPT fits into the framework of GenAI.
  • Steps to getting started with ChatGPT.
  • High-level concepts to understand.
  • Resources for learning – influencers and online learning courses.
  • Sample of use cases to inspire your creativity for personal use.

Before diving into the topics, in our interest of narrowing the path, we consider the following steps essential:

  1. Establish a ChatGPT account through the OpenAI website.
  2. Enroll in ChatGPT Plus. This cost is currently $20 per month, and we emphasize that this must be considered a non-negotiable personal investment for every individual.
  3. Commit to being curious and learning daily. Drip, drip, drip, the learning compounds by dedicating and investing personal time.
  4. Understand that adoption of ChatGPT Plus is an individual decision and NOT subject to the approval of an employer. The opportunities to expose yourself and learn with this technology can be done personally without crossing the boundaries of professional roles possibly involving an employer’s intellectual property.

With this overview introduction completed, please follow along as we delve into the specific topics detailed above!

Parts 2 through 6 of this ChatGPT Lite series of blog posts can be accessed through the links below:

  1. Part 1 of 6 (Introduction) can be found here
  2. Part 2 of 6 (Description of GenAI framework and ChatGPT “fit”) can be found here
  3. Part 3 of 6 (Steps to Getting Started) can be found here
  4. Part 4 of 6 (High-Level Concepts to Understand) can be found here.
  5. Part 5 of 6 (Resources for Learning: Influencers and Online Learning courses) can be found here.
  6. Part 6 of 6 (Sample Use Cases to Inspire Your Creativity for Personal Use) can be found here.
#TwinzTalk – Let’s Connect the Dots…

The Ripple Effect of Post-Traumatic Growth: How ‘Doing Our Best’ Transcended Personal Triumph

Have you done your best?

A theme that has been a central aspect and one I have held close throughout my life is my goal to always answer this question with “Yes, I did my best.” In my teen years, my efforts focused on distance running. However, I became much more intentional with my self-encouragement and introspection in 1977 when I started attending Ohio University and took on the challenge of obtaining a business degree in accounting.

On October 17, 1996, my and my family’s life was forever changed by the challenge of my son Ryan’s childhood cancer diagnosis. Every day, my wife Terri, me, then four-year-old daughter Olivia, and two-year-old Ryan started surviving by bringing “our best” to the day and the often unimaginable stresses that were now a part of our everyday lives. An acute sense of gratitude for life and the joys of ordinary moments quickly took hold in our perspectives. I wish our gift of perspective were one that everyone could genuinely appreciate. Yet, I wish for others to reach this perspective without traveling the road Ryan and our family have traveled for the past 27+ years.

Post-Traumatic Growth

In chapter 33 of Terri’s memoir The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, she discusses her discovery of Post-Traumatic Growth while we were traveling in 2015. Thanks to Oprah Magazine and journalist Ginny Graves, Terri’s discovery of this topic crystallized many emotions we felt through Ryan’s challenges. Without realizing the impact (our focus was saving Ryan’s life and providing as much normalcy as possible for Olivia), our lives profoundly changed by embracing our mission to help others affected by childhood cancer and to pay forward the care and kindness that has been showered upon us since that life-changing day in 1996. In introducing the section in her book, Terri shared this quote that has rung true for us:

“Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor.”

—Marianne Williamson

Collaborating with ChatGPT, I summarized the chapter with a 500-word recap and then generated an insightful bullet-point highlight list of ways post-traumatic growth has enhanced our lives. I shared these two results below. A BONUS – the full text of chapter 33 from Terri’s memoir is provided here.

Chapter 33 Summary | Collaboration with ChatGPT

Chapter 33 of Terri Tomoff’s book “The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles” is titled “Post-Traumatic Growth.” The chapter opens with a note from Tomoff’s son, Ryan, reflecting on his experiences with PTSD following his battle with cancer. This note provides insight into the challenges he faced, such as constant fear of cancer recurrence, the constant medical environment, and coping mechanisms like video games.

Tomoff connects Ryan’s struggles with the concept of post-traumatic growth (PTG), an idea suggesting that individuals can experience positive transformation following trauma. This concept is hard for some to comprehend, and not everyone can rally around it, but it represents an alternative to the narrative of unending suffering.

Tomoff then recounts her family’s various contributions to their community following Ryan’s diagnosis, including running marathons to raise money, starting a Postcard Project, and taking meals to the hospital floor where Ryan was treated. She shares that these activities, aimed at helping others, could be considered PTG as they transformed their family’s trauma into a positive force that benefited their community.

The term PTG was coined by Richard Tedeschi, a psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, who asserted that trauma survivors could undergo profound changes that extend beyond mere resilience. Jack Tsai from Yale School of Medicine adds that the healthcare system emphasizes identifying dysfunctions rather than superior functioning. This trend is now shifting towards promoting overall well-being.

Tomoff elaborates on her family’s extensive volunteer work, including lobbying for childhood cancer funding, founding advisory boards, and volunteering at various organizations and events. These activities provided a sense of purpose, helped others facing similar challenges, and, in return, aided their healing process.

Tomoff explains that despite the pain associated with a childhood cancer diagnosis, the shared experience has created a strong sense of community and camaraderie. This has led to emotional sharing sessions that have deeply moved the families involved and the staff at the facilities they work with.

Finally, the chapter highlights the Southern Comforters Quilt Guild of Bowie, Maryland, which Tomoff is a part of. The group has made over 2000 quilts for newly diagnosed children at Georgetown University Hospital and has extended its mission internationally. Tomoff and her family’s endeavors reflect the essence of PTG, transforming a traumatic experience into meaningful contributions to society, leading to their emotional growth.

Post-Traumatic Growth: Our Enhanced Family Approach to Life | Collaboration with ChatGPT

From Chapter 33 of Terri Tomoff’s memoir, it’s clear that the family’s experience with their son Ryan’s cancer diagnosis and subsequent trauma transformed their approach to life, fostering a deep commitment to aiding others and giving back to society. This transformation reflects their experience with post-traumatic growth (PTG). Here are some key ways in which PTG enhanced their life:

  1. Embracing Purpose Through Helping Others: They found purpose and solace in assisting others undergoing similar trials. This included running marathons to raise funds, launching “The Postcard Project”, delivering meals to the hospital, and volunteering at multiple organizations. They found a form of healing by turning their trauma into meaningful activities.
  2. Creating Advocacy Initiatives: Their personal experience led them to advocate for more funding for childhood cancer research. Tomoff mentions lobbying on Capitol Hill with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society as a part of this initiative.
  3. Building Community: They co-founded the Parent Advisory Board and involved themselves in other groups supporting families dealing with cancer. This fostered a strong sense of community, which provided emotional support and a platform for shared experiences.
  4. Promoting Well-Being and Positive Transformation: Their work with others emphasized the promotion of well-being, aligning with the concept of PTG. They believed that surviving adversity could be used as a catalyst for profound personal change and betterment.
  5. Empathy and Understanding: Their own experience with trauma allowed them to deeply empathize with other families going through similar experiences, making them effective in their efforts to help others.
  6. Legacy and Long-Term Commitment: The family has pledged a lifelong commitment to giving back to society, acknowledging that they “will never live long enough to give back to the universe.” This dedication is evident in their ongoing efforts, such as Terri Tomoff’s work with the Southern Comforters Quilt Guild, which has created over 2,000 quilts for children newly diagnosed with cancer.
  7. Family Involvement: The family turned their struggle into a collective mission, involving every family member in various ways. This not only helped in dealing with their trauma but also fostered a sense of unity and shared purpose within the family.

In summary, the concept of post-traumatic growth profoundly affected the Tomoff family, driving their extensive efforts to help others, advocate for change, and create a legacy of kindness and resilience in the face of adversity. This has fundamentally transformed their approach to life, making them deeply committed to serving their community.

Thanks to the interpretation and insights offered by ChatGPT, the results beautifully articulate the essence of Terri’s heartfelt writing about post-traumatic growth and the impact our family has felt throughout the years of Ryan’s treatments. We can all show up and do our best one day at a time. Doing your best is what YOU must hold yourself accountable for – this is a personal matter and not subject to the judgment of others. Do your best, keep moving, and hold your head high.

November 4, 2004 – PBMT Donor Meetup – Olivia, Bill, Terri, and Ryan Tomoff
October 1996 – Ryan and Bill Tomoff at Georgetown Hospital
October 1996 – Ryan and Bill Tomoff at Georgetown Hospital – Dad heading home

Cultivating Contentment: The Potential of Intentional Daily Reviews

Executive Summary – Collaboration with ChatGPT

On October 10, 2023, inspired by Sahil Bloom’s post, I began a five-minute daily reflection ritual, focusing on five aspects: Win, Gratitude, Stress or Tension, Helping Others/Shining the Light, and Activity/Personal Development. After 100 days, the practice remains a source of intentionality and personal alignment, offering clarity and a momentary escape from the digital frenzy.

Daily, I handwrite my reflections on an index card, cherishing the tactile process as a form of self-care. This habit, reminiscent of my morning meditations and inspired by the Stoicism encouragement to “put each day up for review,” encourages introspection and gratitude. Seneca’s wisdom on self-evaluation resonates deeply, prompting me to scrutinize my actions and thoughts, contributing to my ongoing quest for self-improvement.

Through this simple yet profound practice, I’ve realized the transformative power of pausing and pondering daily life. It’s a reminder of what truly matters, enabling me to confront life’s challenges with a grounded and grateful heart. I advocate this practice for anyone seeking fulfillment, urging them to start small and witness the profound impact of daily reflection.

Original Reflection

October 10, 2023. After reading a post by Sahil Bloom on social media, I began a daily reflection process of prioritizing five minutes to reflect on five aspects of my day. Sahil’s post highlighted three items, and I subsequently added two additional prompts to reflect upon.

Sahil’s original three were:

  • Win
  • Gratitude
  • Stress or Tension

My additions:

  • Help Others/Shine the Light
  • Activity/Personal Development

My goal with this exercise is to intentionally reflect and appreciate/inspire my daily approach to life. On January 17, 2024, I completed 100 consecutive days of reflection. I am unsure how long I will continue this process, but I feel the daily reflection brings me value by helping me be intentional about my perspective and how I want to bring myself to the world daily.

The daily reflections are handwritten on an index card. I deliberately chose to do this exercise manually vs. electronically. Sitting with my thoughts and handwriting my observations are my way of slowing down and creating a pause in my life – away from the distractions of the non-stop digital worlds we live in. The gift of the process is the daily reminder of the areas I want to prioritize and be certain to “sit with” for a few minutes to look at my day and ask, “How did I do today, and what highlights do I want to remember?” Writing my observations by hand creates a few moments of joy/contentment for me. The act itself is a gift I am giving to myself and is a small part of my self-care.

An aspect of my personal development that I wrote about in my blog post dated May 20, 2023, Dawn of Awareness: A Journey of Self-Discovery through Morning Meditations, is my love of morning quiet time, where I read several daily meditations that help me reflect and prepare for the upcoming day. The Daily Stoic Meditations is one of the books included in my process.

The Daily Stoic Meditation for January 22nd, The Day In Review, resonated with me. The encouragement is to prioritize time to evaluate our day and assess how we feel about our day’s performance. My approach with the index card is a mini-version of the daily stoic recommendation. While I reflect and write, my mind assesses the areas I have identified as a priority in my life. As noted in the Meditation:

“I will keep constant watch over myself and—most usefully—will put each day up for review. For this is what makes us evil—that none of us looks back upon our own lives. We reflect upon only that which we are about to do. And yet our plans for the future descend from the past.”

—Seneca, Moral Letters, 83.2

“Take time to consciously recall the events of the previous day. Be unflinching in your assessments. Notice what contributed to your happiness and what detracted from it. Write down what you’d like to work on or quotes that you like. By making the effort to record such thoughts, you’re less likely to forget them. An added bonus: you’ll have a running tally to track your progress too.”

Can a short process of assessing and journaling each day enhance your life? I encourage you to start small and try it! May you find contentment and fulfillment as you “put each day up for review.

Navigating New Horizons: Social Media to Communities of Practice

Executive Summary – Collaboration with ChatGPT

Since 2009, my twin, Don, and I have been captivated by the potential of social media, using it to foster our personal and professional growth and share insights through initiatives like #TwinzTalk and #TwinsTechTip. Our journey on these platforms laid the groundwork for a deeper exploration into specialized communities of practice (COPs), a transition inspired by Seth Godin’s 2020 blog on “A Community of Practice.”

My wife, Terri, and I embarked on a COP new venture, starting with a writing community group in 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic. These focused communities have been a wellspring of learning and growth and building new connections and knowledge beyond the broader platforms available through social media. Influential figures like Tanmay Vora, Rajesh Setty, and Harold Jarche have been instrumental in this journey, inspired by Tanmay’s work on leadership and learning, which deeply resonated with me.

This shift to more intimate COPs has been transformative, aligning with the principle “to whom much is given, much will be required” (Luke 12:48). It echoes the support and kindness my family experienced during my son Ryan’s cancer battles, a blessing I am committed to paying forward. The journey through COPs and virtual communities has been profound, reminding us of our responsibility to contribute and grow within these nurturing spaces and our broader network when possible. I embrace the requirement that my talents and gifts must be shared with my broader network – a network that is exponentially larger through the availability of social media and COPs.

“To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.” 

–Steve Prefontaine

Original Reflection

I have separately written about my appreciation of participating in Communities of Practice (COP). I am developing a blog post that takes a deeper dive into how my wife, Terri, and I have been encouraged and inspired through our involvement in various communities that started in June 2020.

My contemplation about my involvement in COPs lifts me up. I am grateful to many wonderfully talented, generous, and kind participants who have helped me learn and grow. The community’s participants care about developing their craft and helping others on their path. The environment is enriching.

Before joining a specific COP (Writing in Community was my initial participation), I felt a “looser,” yet similar, connection through many social media relationships that have developed over the years. I revisited a blog post from Tanmay Vora titled Leading and Learning: How to Feed a Community. Now, after my experience with specific COPs over the past 3+ years, Tanmay’s post resonates more clearly with me.

Tanmay Vora Sketchnote – Lisa HanebergHow to feed the community.”

To whom much is given, much will be required.” (Luke 12:48)

“The idea of “to whom much is given, much will be required” is that we are held responsible for what we have. If we are blessed with talents, wealth, knowledge, time, and the like, it is expected that we use these well to glorify God and benefit others.” [BOLD emphasis is mine]

I credit my first awareness of the above thought to Mr. Abe Pollin, the owner of Washington Sports & Entertainment, the organization I worked with from 1996 to 2011. Beyond wealth, we must help others with the other blessings we may receive – such as talents and knowledge. An additional blessing that I am committed to paying forward for the rest of my life is the gift of kindness and support that family, friends, community, and strangers have brought to my family’s lives through my son Ryan’s 27+ five-time battles with cancer. I am forever indebted and grateful for all the gifts in my life, and I will use those gifts to help others.

My twin Don and I love social media – we appreciated the professional potential early on, starting in 2009. Sharing a strong interest in technology and personal development, our careers have emphasized building awareness, skills, and learning across many areas that we then shared in our professional circles and on social media. We strive to enlighten others with the gifts our vision and early adopter tendencies have brought to our lives. In 2018 and 2020, we initiated #TwinzTalk and #TwinsTechTip, respectively, for sharing tips on LinkedIn.

Tanmay’s blog post inspired me to highlight his and his work’s impact on my life. Since our 2016 connection via Twitter, his talent, generosity, and kindness for helping others around leadership and conveying his learning into beautiful digestible sketchnotes have helped sharpen/refine my interest in personal development and my potential for helping others through my experiences and life learnings. Helping others learn and grow their talents is my gift and the purpose of my work. In Tanmay’s blog post, he notes:

Lisa Haneberg, one of my favorite bloggers, wrote about how to feed a community where she said,

If we want to belong to a vibrant community we have to feed it.”

“It became quite clear to me that learning is a social act and we learn the most when we learn together.

In the communities that we choose to belong to (online and offline), we have to do our part in feeding it. It is only when we are generous about sharing our gifts that we build credibility to receive anything meaningful in return…”

Tanmay also mentions Rajesh Setty and his course offering “The Right Hustle,” along with Harold Jarche and his work about Personal Knowledge Mastery. I am connected to Rajesh and Harold and have learned much from them. My interest and action to follow are all thanks to Tanmay’s belief in their work. I am forever grateful and indebted. My responsibility is to pay forward their contributions by helping others in my network.

In May 2020, Seth Godin shared a blog, “A Community of Practice,” that led Terri and I to join a Community of Practice (a separate, more in-depth discussion of this to follow). In addition to the learning community that Don and I have developed via social media, Seth introduced the possibility of joining specific intimate communities that created the potential for greater connection among like-minded, kind, and generous people. Little did we know the magic that would unfold for us, beginning with our initial enrollment in a writing-in-community platform in June 2020! The pandemic and virtual communities of practice collided in 2020, and as Doctor Seuss would say:

“Oh, The Places You’ll Go! You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights!”

–Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

Who feeds your learning, and are you living up to your responsibility to do your part in feeding the community?

Terri and Bill Tomoff with book efforts in Writing In Community community of practice 2020-2021

The Art of the Epitaph: Conveying a Lifetime in Ten Words or Less

Executive Summary (Assist to ChatGPT – modified)

As I reflect on the passing of Charlie Munger, I’m drawn to his humble suggestion for his epitaph, “I tried to be useful,” a sentiment that deeply resonates with my personal journey. His legacy, marked by wisdom and humility, inspires me to consider my life’s motto in ten words or less, “I did my best. I cared.” This phrase encapsulates my commitment to living with effort, compassion, and personal accountability, emphasizing that my actions are guided by intrinsic motivation rather than the pursuit of external validation. My recent four years of daily engagement with stoic meditations have profoundly influenced my perspective, teaching me the liberating truth that one’s value isn’t determined by universal acceptance but by the authenticity and kindness of one’s actions.

In my reflections, I’ve come to understand that it’s not about how others perceive my efforts but how I perceive them. I am inspired by the idea that while we can’t control others’ opinions, we do control our intentions and efforts. This understanding has been a guiding principle in my life, especially sharpened as I consider the legacy I wish to leave behind. With inspiration from Munger’s philosophy and my own stoicism efforts, I aim to live authentically, contribute meaningfully, and maintain inner peace by upholding my own standards and intentions, striving to make a difference in ways that inspire me, and focusing on acting with goodness and kindness without concern for external judgment.

Original Full Reflection

Charlie Munger, vice chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, passed away on November 28, 2023, at 99 years old. Warren Buffett “described Munger as his closest partner and right-hand man.” Due to my lifetime interest in personal finance and investing, I searched for more information about Munger upon learning of his passing.

A quote from Munger inspires this writing and my preliminary title for a book effort in 2024.

“I Did My Best. I Cared: Reflections on Experiences, Lessons Learned, and Heartfelt Tips to Live a Fulfilling Life.”

As Sahil Bloom shared on Twitter (X), Jason Zweig asked Munger “What he might want for an epitaph of no more than ten words. His reply was immediate and full of epistemic humility: “I tried to be useful.” Not “I was useful.” That would be for other people to judge. But “I tried.” That much he knew.”

Charlie Munger humbly answered, “I tried to be useful,” acknowledging that his intent and effort were under his control – not how others would judge him. His brief statement speaks volumes to his sincere desire to be the best-contributing human he was capable of, yet he was not going to guide his actions based on how he thought others might judge him. External judgment of his actions was not his business. I love his response and his perspective. Munger’s perspective is very stoic-like and reminded me of stoicism thoughts that have touched on this theme often.

The important part of my proposed book title is my personal response to Munger’s answer to a question from Zweig:

No more than ten words, yet this speaks from my heart about how I want to leave my life’s journey: “I Did My Best. I Cared.”

My intent and heart are dedicated to answering affirmatively when I question myself, “Have I done my best?” Not “Have I done my best in the eyes of others?” When we can go deep within ourselves and know that we have done our best, the feeling is liberating and provides peace with ourselves. I am measuring by my own standards and limitations. This is the measuring stick I strive to hold for myself, and I also strive to give grace to others by reminding myself that they are also doing their best – whatever that means for them. The best effort of others is not my place to judge.

Over the past four years, I have been reading The Daily Stoic Meditations daily, and I attribute the process to helping refine my thinking and behavior toward life. This is why Charlie’s epitaph suggestion, focused on what was within HIS control, resonated with me and prompted this reflection.

In the Daily Stoic email post, They’re Not All Going To Like You, we are encouraged to remember that “we are not for everyone, and we never will be.” It is liberating for us to reflect on and accept this fact and go forward with genuine intent to bring good and kindness to the world.

“In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius talks about how it’s easier to deal with stuff when you understand the percentages–that a certain number of certain types of people exist, for example, and you’re bound to bump into them eventually. Do you really think it’s possible for everyone to like you?

We didn’t do anything wrong. This isn’t bigotry or hatred. It’s just a mismatch. That actor whose face you don’t like…you have that same face for someone else. That person you roll your eyes at, you’re them to someone else. That show you change the channel to avoid, someone is doing that to your work right now.”

“You must accept that we’re not for everyone and we never will be. What matters is that we like ourselves, that we stand for what we like, and we leave those who this bothers alone.”

Inspired by my work with the Stoicism philosophy, Charlie Munger’s suggestion for his epitaph hit close to home for me. My heart is full as I consider the progress in my life – staying true to making a difference in the ways that inspire me and not seeking validation and affirmation from others. I did my best. I cared. Today, this sentiment feels perfect for me as I reflect on my life. How I am judged for my contributions is not my concern. I prefer to act with goodness and kindness and know I am making a meaningful impact. I know.

Beyond the Limits: Learning from the TwinzTalk Framework for AI

I recently reflected on ChatGPT’s value as a personal assistant for my writing efforts. An exciting discovery for me has been using ChatGPT to review and provide a summary and/or highlights of my writing content – articulated at a level that I cannot attain!

Allow – What We Can’t Do…

Allowing what I cannot do is the highest tier of possibility in the TwinzTalk hierarchy of the Framework for Working with Gen AI (see the post linked above).

In his blog “Signal and Noise,” dated December 15, 2023, Seth Godin’s words hit upon exactly the magic I am enjoying:

“AI and computers can be used as lenses now, which means we can strip away the noise and see things that we certainly didn’t expect.”

Typical consumer AI is a clever trick that makes us think the computer is a pretty good writer. But machine learning aimed at patterns and signals shows us things that we never knew were there.”

On the same day as Seth’s blog post, Rajesh Setty shared a LinkedIn post encouraging “Embracing constraints with AI.” Similar to the twinz perspective that ChatGPT “allows what we can’t do,” Rajesh notes a similar theme:

“If you can’t do something on your own, use the power of AI to help. There’s no need to “not do it” or just try anymore.”

I encourage you to follow Seth Godin’s blog and Rajesh Setty on social media for thought-provoking content. Be serious and be intentional about learning every day. As Charlie Munger emphasizes:

“Those who keep learning will keep rising in life.”

ChatGPT Plus Dall-E AI Generated Image – Student in Library – Anxious to Learn!