The Art of the Epitaph: Conveying a Lifetime in Ten Words or Less

Executive Summary (Assist to ChatGPT – modified)

As I reflect on the passing of Charlie Munger, I’m drawn to his humble suggestion for his epitaph, “I tried to be useful,” a sentiment that deeply resonates with my personal journey. His legacy, marked by wisdom and humility, inspires me to consider my life’s motto in ten words or less, “I did my best. I cared.” This phrase encapsulates my commitment to living with effort, compassion, and personal accountability, emphasizing that my actions are guided by intrinsic motivation rather than the pursuit of external validation. My recent four years of daily engagement with stoic meditations have profoundly influenced my perspective, teaching me the liberating truth that one’s value isn’t determined by universal acceptance but by the authenticity and kindness of one’s actions.

In my reflections, I’ve come to understand that it’s not about how others perceive my efforts but how I perceive them. I am inspired by the idea that while we can’t control others’ opinions, we do control our intentions and efforts. This understanding has been a guiding principle in my life, especially sharpened as I consider the legacy I wish to leave behind. With inspiration from Munger’s philosophy and my own stoicism efforts, I aim to live authentically, contribute meaningfully, and maintain inner peace by upholding my own standards and intentions, striving to make a difference in ways that inspire me, and focusing on acting with goodness and kindness without concern for external judgment.

Original Full Reflection

Charlie Munger, vice chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, passed away on November 28, 2023, at 99 years old. Warren Buffett “described Munger as his closest partner and right-hand man.” Due to my lifetime interest in personal finance and investing, I searched for more information about Munger upon learning of his passing.

A quote from Munger inspires this writing and my preliminary title for a book effort in 2024.

“I Did My Best. I Cared: Reflections on Experiences, Lessons Learned, and Heartfelt Tips to Live a Fulfilling Life.”

As Sahil Bloom shared on Twitter (X), Jason Zweig asked Munger “What he might want for an epitaph of no more than ten words. His reply was immediate and full of epistemic humility: “I tried to be useful.” Not “I was useful.” That would be for other people to judge. But “I tried.” That much he knew.”

Charlie Munger humbly answered, “I tried to be useful,” acknowledging that his intent and effort were under his control – not how others would judge him. His brief statement speaks volumes to his sincere desire to be the best-contributing human he was capable of, yet he was not going to guide his actions based on how he thought others might judge him. External judgment of his actions was not his business. I love his response and his perspective. Munger’s perspective is very stoic-like and reminded me of stoicism thoughts that have touched on this theme often.

The important part of my proposed book title is my personal response to Munger’s answer to a question from Zweig:

No more than ten words, yet this speaks from my heart about how I want to leave my life’s journey: “I Did My Best. I Cared.”

My intent and heart are dedicated to answering affirmatively when I question myself, “Have I done my best?” Not “Have I done my best in the eyes of others?” When we can go deep within ourselves and know that we have done our best, the feeling is liberating and provides peace with ourselves. I am measuring by my own standards and limitations. This is the measuring stick I strive to hold for myself, and I also strive to give grace to others by reminding myself that they are also doing their best – whatever that means for them. The best effort of others is not my place to judge.

Over the past four years, I have been reading The Daily Stoic Meditations daily, and I attribute the process to helping refine my thinking and behavior toward life. This is why Charlie’s epitaph suggestion, focused on what was within HIS control, resonated with me and prompted this reflection.

In the Daily Stoic email post, They’re Not All Going To Like You, we are encouraged to remember that “we are not for everyone, and we never will be.” It is liberating for us to reflect on and accept this fact and go forward with genuine intent to bring good and kindness to the world.

“In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius talks about how it’s easier to deal with stuff when you understand the percentages–that a certain number of certain types of people exist, for example, and you’re bound to bump into them eventually. Do you really think it’s possible for everyone to like you?

We didn’t do anything wrong. This isn’t bigotry or hatred. It’s just a mismatch. That actor whose face you don’t like…you have that same face for someone else. That person you roll your eyes at, you’re them to someone else. That show you change the channel to avoid, someone is doing that to your work right now.”

“You must accept that we’re not for everyone and we never will be. What matters is that we like ourselves, that we stand for what we like, and we leave those who this bothers alone.”

Inspired by my work with the Stoicism philosophy, Charlie Munger’s suggestion for his epitaph hit close to home for me. My heart is full as I consider the progress in my life – staying true to making a difference in the ways that inspire me and not seeking validation and affirmation from others. I did my best. I cared. Today, this sentiment feels perfect for me as I reflect on my life. How I am judged for my contributions is not my concern. I prefer to act with goodness and kindness and know I am making a meaningful impact. I know.