Celebrating Others – Bill Tomoff

April 18, 2024April 19, 2024

“Keep Your Eye on the Ball”: A Lesson in Priorities from Abe Pollin

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

In this heartfelt blog post, I share a deeply personal story of how the compassionate leadership of Abe Pollin, owner of the Washington Wizards, helped me navigate a family crisis while maintaining my professional responsibilities. My two-year-old son, Ryan, was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) shortly after our family moved to the Washington, DC area in 1996.

Amidst the chaos of intensive medical care necessary to save Ryan’s life, I received unconditional support and understanding from Mr. Pollin and the Washington Sports & Entertainment (WSELP) organization. Mr. Pollin’s advice to “Keep your eye on the ball, and that ball will change from time to time” resonated deeply with me, helping me prioritize my family and my son’s health while managing my professional obligations.

I express immense gratitude for the trust, flexibility, and genuine concern Mr. Pollin and my colleagues at WSELP extended to me. This support was critical in enabling me to persevere through the challenges of balancing my role as the sole provider for my family, maintaining healthcare coverage, and fulfilling my professional responsibilities.

The blog post also highlights the lasting impact of Mr. Pollin’s leadership style on my life and career. My dedication to the organization, particularly during the sale of WSELP’s assets following Mr. Pollin’s passing in 2009, is a testament to the loyalty and respect inspired by Mr. Pollin’s compassionate leadership.

Through this personal story, I emphasize the importance of empathetic leadership, focusing on what truly matters and expressing gratitude for the support received during life’s most challenging moments. The blog post is an inspiring reminder to readers to identify and focus on their “ball” – their highest priorities in life.

Full Original Writing

“Keep your eye on the ball.” These words of wisdom and encouragement were from Mr. Abe Pollin in early 1997. He gently and compassionately reminded me to go all in on my highest priority.

This post was inspired by an Instagram reel my son-in-law, Bo, sent me. Please watch the short video and continue reading my story of gratitude for Mr. Pollin and the career-saving and life-saving gift of understanding and encouragement that he and the culture of WSELP brought to my and my family’s lives.

On October 17, 1996, only two and one-half months after arriving in the Washington, DC, area, my two-year-old son Ryan was diagnosed with cancer – Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). In an instant, our world was turned upside down, and we were thrown into the day-to-day chaos of intense medical care necessary to save Ryan’s life.

I wrote more in-depth about this experience in my unpublished memoir, Living Life…Off The Track, and portions of that writing are reflected here.

**March 13, 2001 | Tomoff Family at Capitals Game**

When my family and I moved to Maryland, we had no idea about the leadership and genuine caring qualities of Mr. Pollin. And how that permeated into the culture of the organization. It turned out that I was a lucky professional blessed to receive unconditional support and understanding of the personal demands on me and my family. The professional who believes personal and professional lives should be maintained separately has not dealt with a life-threatening crisis. Without the company’s understanding of my personal demands, I simply could not have survived professionally.

Only days after Ryan’s diagnosis, my non-negotiable priorities were crystal clear, and I was laser-focused on where I would allow my precious time to be spent. Now, 27+ years later, my perspective has not changed, and I consider it a great gift. I fully understand my priorities EVERY DAY. In Chapter 32, Heartfelt Reflections from Bill and Olivia, of Terri’s memoir, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, I noted:

“This trust and the team of professionals that surrounded me made all the difference in managing the impossible balance I had to maintain. I will never forget Mr. Pollin telling me, “Bill, you need to keep your eye on the ball, and that ball will change from time to time.” His use of the basketball metaphor was spot on, and he stressed to me, “Right now, your son Ryan and your family are the most important ‘ball’ in your life.”

The trust and flexibility afforded me, plus the genuine concern for my personal demands were immeasurable gifts that my WSELP colleagues extended to me. Ultimately, the organization and I were rewarded with a dramatic win-win situation. I am forever grateful for the support provided, and I know this was a critical pillar of our family’s ability to persevere.”

What were my core priorities, and how were the less essential priorities handled? I learned through a devastating life moment that most of my priorities were “nice to do” and not essential to moving my family or me forward. When you are focused on saving your child’s life, previously “essential” tasks go undone. A basketball metaphor from the owner of the NBA Washington Wizards hit me with a clarity I will never forget. What were those priorities boiled to their essence? Three rocks:

Family: Saving Ryan’s life and maintaining some sense of normalcy for our daughter and family unit.
Healthcare: Maintaining and monitoring coverage. Having coverage required that I maintain employment with benefits – I felt enormous pressure and prayed that I could deliver on this imperative necessity.
Work: Professional responsibilities had to be completed. My family’s healthcare and financial survival depended on my job as the sole provider – while Terri focused fully on caregiving for Ryan and balancing Olivia and our family obligations.

A fourth “given” was that Terri and I needed to take care of ourselves to ensure we would be the best we could be for Olivia and Ryan. I dismissed anything that did not drop into these buckets of obligations. There was no time to think, “I will put in more hours,” etc…no exception.

My role when joining WSELP was to handle the accounting responsibilities related to constructing the [then] MCI Center. The arena was a state-of-the-art facility, and the accounting aspects consumed much of my efforts from my arrival in 1996 until opening in December 1997.

In early 1997, I was informed that Mr. Pollin wanted to speak with me. To have a direct one-on-one meeting with him was highly unusual, especially considering I had been in my role for less than a year. We had a delightful conversation that started with updating him on Ryan and my family. I soon learned his highest priority was understanding his employees’ human side. Over time, employees built tremendous loyalty to him and the organization. I quickly learned Mr. Pollin was genuinely concerned about his employees and their families. Below are some of my [edited] thoughts I wrote in my memoir:

“I often mention, “surround yourself with the best,” and you will ultimately enhance your life. My WSELP experience was the best fortune in my career…one could not have asked for a more empathetic and compassionate owner/leader than Mr. Pollin. And his spirit of how to treat employees resonated with all those who worked in the organization. This experience would change me dramatically.”

“My time with Washington Sports & Entertainment (WSELP) would be an exact fit for my and my family’s life. When Ryan was diagnosed, our world was turned upside down, and I truly believe that my accounting career could not have survived in most business environments. People who go through a childhood cancer experience often face incredible challenges to maintain health insurance due to the need to abandon their employment in order to care for the sick child.”

“Mr. Pollin asked that I consider taking on additional responsibilities within the finance operations. I was flattered but surprised that they would remove any of my focus from the MCI Center construction efforts. My heart and soul were going into the effort, and I wanted to see the journey to the arena’s grand opening. This challenge is what brought me and the family to Washington, DC! In addition, I simply could not fathom taking on new responsibilities when Ryan was in the throes of his initial three years and two months treatment protocol. When I shared these sentiments with Mr. Pollin, he commented, “Bill, you need to keep your eye on the ball. In life, that ball will change from time to time.” He fully appreciated and had empathy for the fact that the “ball” at this point in my life were Ryan’s leukemia treatments and my family.”

When Mr. Pollin passed away on November 24, 2009 (age 85), of a rare brain disease (corticobasal degeneration), the focus had to shift to selling the assets of the organization. The process was intense, yet my mission was to dedicate all energy necessary to contribute whatever I could in memory of the personal support and patience of Mr. Pollin and all I worked with over the years. The accounting work was extensive and tedious from November 2009 to the June 2010 sale date and the final transaction closed in November 2010. With a heavy heart, I was privileged and honored to have a significant role in selling WSELP to Monumental Sports & Entertainment. The WSELP organization supported me and my family steadfastly through hell and back for Ryan’s treatments from 1997 to 2005. I cannot imagine any other company and leadership patiently supporting me and my family for over eight years. I am eternally grateful to Mr. Pollin for the kindness, concern, and leadership he showed through his example.

When I left Monumental Sports on June 30, 2011, Rich Brand of Arent Fox gave me a heartwarming recommendation on LinkedIn. I treasure his words as a highlight of my career:

“I am a sports law attorney with Arent Fox and have practiced for more than 25 years. For the past 15 years, I have had the pleasure of working with Bill on countless financing agreements, operational matters, accounting matters and most recently, issues relating to the sale of the enterprise. Bill’s work ethic is extremely impressive but so too are his skills. And even more importantly, his personal attributes are second to none. Bill worked tirelessly on any matter asked of him and was instrumental in helping all parties involved understand the complex financial and accounting type issues. Bill is always able to “translate” what he does and what he knows to people who are less fluent in finance and accounting. He is also an excellent supervisor and earned the respect of his peers the hard way – by doing the work the right way and always on time. He commands the respect of all who worked above and below him in the organization.

The work Bill often had to do for us (or with us) typically carried horrendous deadlines and was critical to our achieving the overall task at hand. Whether it was providing lenders or buyers with all the necessary financial and operational information or providing an analysis of risks and issues to be addressed, it was done promptly, expertly and often utilizing technology that lawyers like myself can only dream of understanding.”

Mr. Pollin and my colleagues with WSELP indelibly impacted my career and life. I am grateful to have done my best to repay (and pay forward in my life) the kindness, passion, and compassion extended to me and my family. And yes, when the “ball” has changed throughout my life, I remind myself, smiling inside and thinking of Mr. Pollin, “Bill, keep your eye on the ball…“

What is your “ball” that deserves your focus?

**April 2005 | Ryan Tomoff on the Washington Wizards Court**

April 13, 2024April 13, 2024

A Foreword of Compassion: Dr. Aziza Shad’s Message in Terri Tomoff’s Memoir “The Focused Fight”

In 2016, Terri Tomoff started on her mission to write her memoir of our son Ryan’s battles with childhood cancer. Her determination to write a book that might help and inspire others was a gift of love for Ryan and our family. Yet, the process of writing a book of this magnitude was beyond comprehension, and the effort of “butt in the chair,” as Terri often mentioned, was a difficult initiative to sustain. When Ryan was diagnosed with tongue cancer in 2016 and 2017, a result of his years of radiation and chemotherapy for his three battles with childhood cancer from 1996 through 2005, Dr. Aziza Shad emphatically encouraged Terri, stating, “You must write your book now!“

From 2016 to 2020, Terri wrote sections of the book and contemplated the structure she hoped would guide her process. After the COVID pandemic shut the world down in March 2020, Terri and I would soon make a joint decision that, reflecting back, changed our lives dramatically. Starting on June 8, 2020, we joined a community of practice called Writing In Community (WIC), led by Kristin Hatcher and Seth Godin. This community became the encouragement and support for Terri to lean into completing her memoir. I assisted with recollecting the timeline of the events, read her work, listened to her read her work, and located pictures to ensure memories were accurate. The process was arduous, and her tenacity (often 8 to 10 hours a day) toward her mission was a feat I still marvel at today in 2024. While she wrote Ryan’s memoir, I participated in WIC alongside her and wrote my own personal memoir. We shared in the community platform and grew to love the daily commitment to writing and learning. Almost four years later, as I write this on April 1, 2024, we consider daily writing and reflecting a treasure. We are forever changed through our writing and collaboration with a community of kind, caring, and generous people who desire to lift each other up. A life-changing and enhancing experience set in motion by the pandemic lockdown.

Dr. Shad was Ryan and our family’s guiding force through the years. An entire book could be written about the care and compassion she delivered because she feels so deeply for those children and families under her care. She kept Ryan, our daughter Olivia, Terri, and me standing through the years with her steady, kind, and determined mindset to leave no stone unturned in delivering the best plan of treatment and care humanly possible. When Terri asked if she would write a foreword for the book, she graciously and excitedly said, “YES!” She knew Ryan and was thrilled to participate in Terri’s initiative of helping others through Ryan and our family’s story.

Below is an excerpt of Dr. Shad’s complete foreword. The full book, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey from Mayhem to Miracles, is available on Kindle digital or paperback at Amazon.

Foreword

By Aziza Shad, MD

When Terri first asked me to write the forward for her long-overdue book, The Focused Fight, something I had been encouraging her to do for a while, I was both humbled and honored. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by a flood of memories of my relationship with the Tomoff family and specifically Ryan, over the years—a relationship that began in 1996 and has only strengthened over more than two decades. The only difference is that in 1996, I was a young assistant professor in the Division of Pediatric Hematology Oncology at Georgetown University Medical Center in D.C. (now Medstar Georgetown University Hospital). I was actively involved in his day-to-day treatment from diagnosis of Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, his two relapses,

and getting him to a matched unrelated donor (MUD) bone marrow transplant and beyond. Today I am Chair of Pediatrics and Chief of Pediatric Hematology Oncology at the Children’s Hospital at Sinai in Baltimore, Maryland, where I follow a wonderful, accomplished 26-year-old young man in the Amey Cancer Survivorship Program.

Every year, multiple books are published on patient and family experiences with life-threatening illnesses, especially cancer, but Terri’s memoir is different. It is a vivid recollection of a journey the Tomoff family had to make without their prior consent. They had to learn to navigate their way through frightening times and trying circumstances over and over again through the years, going from one crisis to the other, and yet stay intact for Ryan and as a family. Being in the practice of Pediatric Hematology Oncology for over 30 years, I have seen families break up, divorce,

siblings drop out of school, drug dependence, post-traumatic stress, and the list goes on. I have often wondered how the Tomoff family stayed together, stronger than ever today, a force to be reckoned with. The answer is quite simple. This young family with a four-year-old at home and a two-year-old with leukemia in the hospital, did it by becoming part of Ryan’s medical team. They participated in difficult decisions and trusted the oncologists and nurses who took care of him, and their unwavering faith and the conviction that he was going to get better by never losing hope or focus was it; hence the title! Their mission was simple—Ryan was going to beat his cancer!

Ryan was diagnosed on October 17th, 1996, with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL), Standard Risk with CNS involvement (detected by finding leukemia cells in the cerebrospinal fluid that flows from the brain down the covering of the spinal cord). He was considered Standard Risk based on his age and WBC count and enrolled on a Children’s Cancer Group Study, which meant he would be treated as per a strict set of guidelines and his clinical data. This treatment would be used to answer some really important questions that would enhance our understanding of leukemia better and hopefully improve survival for other children to come years down the road. Twenty-four years ago, we did not have the molecular and genetic diagnostic tools we have today that allow us to classify children into Low, Average, High and Very High Risk categories very early on, nor did we have some of the new agents and therapies such as imatinib, blinatumomab and CAR-T therapy, all of which have contributed to improved survival in ALL today.

I met Ryan and his parents for the first time on Day 3 of his diagnosis and the memory of that first meeting remains etched in my mind even today, 24 years later. A beautiful two-year-old angelic child with fear in his eyes at the sight of yet another stranger in a white coat, a father whose tears kept rolling down his face and a mother who was distraught but kept it together by taking copious, detailed notes, learning the unfamiliar medical jargon by the minute. Little did she know at that time, how long and complicated Ryan’s journey would be and how her notes would become a trusted reference for the different institutions on where he would be treated.

To say that Ryan’s journey through his initial diagnosis in 1996, two relapses in 2000 and 2004 followed by a bone marrow transplant was a difficult one would be an understatement! So many incidents come to mind—the episodes of sepsis and unexpected infections that landed him in the Intensive Care Unit on multiple occasions, the heartbreak mirrored in Bill and Terri’s eyes on hearing Ryan’s leukemia had come back yet again as they held Ryan and Olivia tightly in their arms, and the deep disappointment they experienced when Ryan’s first bone marrow donor backed out. Yet, through it all, this family held it together and plowed on, taking Olivia to her soccer games, making the 26 mile drive to Georgetown University Hospital with the back and forth days on end without a complaint, relocating to Durham, North Carolina (Duke) for months for his bone marrow transplant, all with one focus only—to get Ryan better.

There were good times too over the years. I saw Ryan and the family grow and transition from receiving support from family, friends, community and support groups, to giving support to many, many families grappling with the diagnosis of cancer. Through their involvement with organizations like Special Love, Inc. and parent support groups, they spent many a day giving hope and encouragement to others. They established incredible relationships and bonds with other families and medical providers that have lasted over 20 years. They went from being educated to becoming effective educators, teaching young medical students at the bedside how to communicate with patients and families, participating in the Pediatric department Grand Rounds and sharing the podium with me at the medical school when I gave my annual talk on Cancer Survivors and Late Effects of Cancer treatment.

Ryan graduated from school and enrolled in college. He celebrated his 21st birthday in Las Vegas in 2015, being the adventurer he was fast becoming! He wears the most outrageous colored pants that always make me laugh, collects sports jerseys and caps, learned to drive and became a spokesperson for childhood cancer! Terri pursued her life-long passion for quilting and joined the Southern Comforters Quilt Guild of Bowie, Maryland, inspiring them to jointly donate hundreds of beautiful quilts to pediatric cancer patients and their families in Washington D.C. and Maryland. What started as a gesture of gratitude and a desire to give back is now an international project, with Terri donating quilts to pediatric cancer programs in Africa and Latin America. We traveled together to Ethiopia a couple of years ago through the Aslan Project, where through a mist of tears, I saw her joyfully distributing quilts to the children there. Olivia went from success to success in varsity soccer with her proud family cheering her on and Bill thrived in his work. At last, all was well with the Tomoffs!

In April 2016, cancer struck again, not once but twice, turning Ryan’s world upside down! This time it was a squamous cell carcinoma of the tongue that started off as a canker sore! This cancer, that occurred years after a successful bone marrow transplant that had rendered Ryan disease-free, was a late effect of all the treatment he had received repeatedly for his leukemia since he was two years old, including chemotherapy, cranio-spinal radiation and TBI (total body irradiation) for his bone marrow transplant. It was a devastating diagnosis that resulted in Ryan needing multiple surgeries and effectively learning to speak and eat again. I went to visit Ryan at the University of Maryland where he had the surgery and instead of seeing a defeated soul, I saw a courageous fighter who was determined to put this curve ball behind him.

Lo and behold, it is now more than three years since Ryan had his tongue cancers. His speech is great, he works, is a connoisseur of gourmet food and a sports enthusiast, plus spends his spare time volunteering for childhood cancer organizations. The latter has won him much-deserved recognition and awards from Special Love, Inc. and the Aslan Project!

I continue to see Ryan regularly in the Amey Cancer Survivorship Program at the Children’s Hospital at Sinai in Baltimore. Here he is monitored for multiple late effects of treatment in concert with other subspecialists in Endocrinology, Cardiology, Oral Surgery and Dentistry, Ophthalmology and Dermatology. He is always accompanied by one of his wonderful parents, generally Terri, who still carries her notebook and Ryan’s updated medical records and information that we go over in each appointment. Just this month, I saw him and received the ultimate gift from him—homemade smoked cheese! Ryan is well on his way to becoming an entrepreneur and I look forward to the day I can say I know the Ryan of “Ryan’s Smoked Cheeses!”

In closing, often I am asked why I chose Pediatric Hematology Oncology as a profession, one which is regarded by many as sad and hopeless! All I need to do is look at Ryan, who together with his family conquered the impossible and today focuses only on the future, bringing a message of hope, courage and resilience to so many along the way. The incredible bond of friendship and trust I established with the Tomoffs that first evening at Georgetown 24 years ago has only grown stronger. We have laughed and cried together, rejoiced at successes and grieved for losses. I thank Ryan, Olivia, Terri and Bill for including me in their ever-expanding family and wish them all the happiness in the world!

Aziza Shad, MD

Ellen W.P. Wasserman Chair of Pediatrics

Chief, Pediatric Hematology/Oncology

The Herman & Walter Samuelson Children’s Hospital at Sinai

Professor of Pediatrics & Oncology

Georgetown University School of Medicine

April 3, 2024

Celebrating Others: Gratitude for Dr. Aziza Shad and The UPLIFTERS Podcast!

On January 23, 2024, on Facebook, I shared gratitude for Dr. Aziza Shad for her unparalleled care to our family and all patients and families under her care. I was inspired by a Susan Cain post titled Seven things my father taught me, by example. Her father was a doctor and the list of seven things he taught her was heartwarming and points we should all take to heart. Point number five immediately reminded me of Dr. Shad:

“If you happen to be a doctor, take care of your patients – really take care of them. Study medical journals after dinner, train the next generation of physicians (my father kept teaching until age 81), spend the extra hour to visit the bedside of your patients in the hospital. (Here’s a letter from one of those patients, which we found after my father passed away. He never showed us these things while he was alive.)”

**Susan Cain Image – Patient Letter to her Doctor Father**

The gratitude I shared in my Facebook share was:

“When I read Susan Cain’s post on Substack, this point, and the letter sent to Susan’s father, it inspired me to intentionally pause and be grateful for Doctor Aziza Shad.

Since 1996, Dr. Shad has been at our family’s side guiding and caring for Ryan Tomoff through his #ChildhoodCancer wars and beyond to monitoring the late effects of his treatments through the years.

The image above IS the essence of expertise, care, and compassion that Dr. Shad has brought to our family and every patient and family blessed to be a recipient of her care.

Please read Susan’s full Substack post and my wish is you can share your #gratitude with someone who made a forever impact in your life 🙏❤️.

Dr. Shad, thank you… the words shared by a patient, in Susan’s post, are beautiful. The Tomoff family carries these sentiments for you:

“How do I start, where do I begin to express my feeling of gratitude. appreciation to a [doctor] that has compassion, knowledge, and the kindest doctor… I had the pleasure to have in our lives.

Your caring, right from the heart, your kindness to always lead us in the right direction. We never thought to get a second opinion. Whatever you advised was good enough for us. BECAUSE YOU CARED, TRULY CARED….” “

***

Released on March 22, 2024, Dr. Shad speaks with host Aransas Savas of The Uplifters podcast, titled Dr. Aziza Shad is Humanizing Healthcare: By using teamwork to tackle pediatric cancers. Terri recommended Dr. Shad for the podcast, and I am so happy this interview occurred!

Please prioritize 35 minutes to hear Dr. Shad’s perspective on treating her patients and their families. She cares deeply about all whom she is entrusted to care for. In the pediatric world, the child patient and the family must be considered to achieve the optimal outcome of curing a child. Aransas does a beautiful job guiding the conversation, and the entire podcast was an inspiring listen.

In the interview, Dr. Shad discusses why she chose pediatric cancer as a specialty, the founding of The Aslan Project dedicated to pediatric cancer in Ethiopia, and her mission to be accessible 24 hours per day, seven days a week! She is a godsend to our family. Listen in and be inspired – may we all approach our lives and careers to make the most meaningful difference we can.

***

March 31, 2024March 31, 2024

The Focused Fight: How Dr. Aziza Shad’s Guidance Fueled Our Family’s Cancer Battle and Personal Growth

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

I recently had a conversation with a friend in an MBA program who was advised by a classmate to lower the bar and focus more on soft skills. While I agree that real skills are critically important, I strongly disagree with the suggestion to lower the bar on learning. My twin brother Don and I are passionate about personal development and relentlessly encouraging others to bring their best selves to the world every day.

This commitment to excellence was solidified for me when my son Ryan was diagnosed with leukemia at age two in 1996. Dr. Aziza Shad, Ryan’s pediatric oncologist, came into our lives and guided us through an incredibly difficult journey. We had to completely trust Dr. Shad and her team to save Ryan’s life. A critical part of that trust was the expectation that she and everyone involved in Ryan’s care was dedicated to bringing their absolute best knowledge, judgment, and effort.

While most of us don’t hold others’ lives in our hands on a daily basis, I believe we should demand the same level of excellence from ourselves in whatever work we do. I owe this to Dr. Shad and the many professionals who exemplify this commitment. Ryan is thriving 27 years later thanks to their dedication and skill.

Dr. Shad’s example has inspired me to always strive to be my best and help others with the knowledge and skills I’ve gained over my lifetime. My wife Terri has also been moved by Dr. Shad’s encouragement to share our family’s story in her memoir. I hope others find inspiration in this message to never settle or get complacent, but to continually learn, prepare, and contribute your talents to the fullest. The world needs you at your best.

Full Original Writing

My twin Don and I embrace a theme in our careers and lives: “Take what you do seriously. Do not take yourself seriously.“

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend in an MBA program, and a classmate suggested, “You are taking the MBA too seriously. You should lower the bar and improve your soft skills.” This friend happens to be a spectacular human being with real (prefer term vs. “soft”) skills that I wish I possessed. I agree that we all must understand the critical importance of real skills, yet a suggestion to lower the bar on learning through the MBA curriculum content? NO.

Don and I are all-in on personal development, and we relentlessly encourage others to be serious about continually learning and bringing their best selves to the world every day. Please be serious and do your best with all learning opportunities you encounter. We must be our best and bring our learning and talents to the world!

“To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.”

—Steve Prefontaine

“Lowering the bar” means accepting that we can get by and succeed with less effort. We don’t need to be at our best. This sounds crazy to contemplate, doesn’t it? In my world, I expect the best from myself and those I interact with. Let’s pull the thread on this idea to make a compelling and obvious point – in the medical profession, for example, are we accepting of a doctor who has lowered the bar and is not bringing her best talents to serve patients?

On October 17, 1996, our family’s life was forever changed when my son, Ryan, was diagnosed with cancer – Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) at the age of two years and two months. My wife Terri, and I, were stunned, scared, and had no concept of how we could move forward. On Saturday morning, October 19, 1996, Dr. Aziza Shad came into our lives carrying a protocol requiring our authorization for treatment to commence on Monday, October 21, 1996. Dr. Shad gently and caringly stepped through the protocol stages that would require three years and two months to complete and answered our questions. In order to save Ryan’s life, we had no option other than to accept and authorize the protocol.

We quickly understood a few core facts:

We had no control over a complicated childhood cancer world.
Dr. Shad and her team in the pediatric oncology world at Georgetown University Medical Center were our hope for saving Ryan’s life.
We had to trust Dr. Shad completely and partner with her while relentlessly advocating for Ryan.

Part of our trust in Dr. Shad and the medical community was our expectation that she and everyone involved in Ryan’s care was dedicated to staying current and relentlessly preparing to bring their best knowledge and judgment to Ryan and the countless patients whose lives depended on them. Let that sink in – isn’t this what you pray for when you put your trust in your doctors? While many of us are not saving lives on a daily basis, why would we accept less than our best when we live our lives personally and professionally? I have many limitations, but dedicating myself to continual learning, preparation, and bringing my best skills and effort to those counting on me is something I demand of myself. I owe this in honor of Dr. Shad and the many professionals who bring the same commitment to their lives every day.

We are blessed to have Ryan thriving now 27 years later, and Dr. Shad at his and our side guiding his follow-up care. Dr. Shad’s example of expertise, care, and compassion has solidified my determination to bring my best every day and help others with the skills and knowledge I have earned throughout my lifetime.

With Dr. Shad’s years-long encouragement, Terri published her memoir of Ryan’s five-time cancer battles in her book The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey from Mayhem to Miracles in March 2021. Dr. Shad kindly wrote a foreword for the book!

**Terri Tomoff and Dr Aziza Shad – The Focused Fight**

I will continue with future posts about Dr. Shad, where I will share the foreword from the book and other sentiments that speak to the incredible doctor and human being that she is.

To close this post, I hope you find inspiration to do everything in your power to be the best person and contributor you can be in your choice of work and how you carry yourself through each day of your life. Do not settle, get complacent, or “lower the bar.” The world needs your contribution!

March 24, 2024

Stitching Together Love and Comfort: The Inspiring Quilting Journey of Terri Tomoff

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

Terri Tomoff’s passion for quilting took flight in 1989 after taking a class in Ohio. Over the past 35 years, I’ve witnessed her quilting expertise evolve from hand stitching to using a long-arm machine. Terri’s primary love is creating one-of-a-kind “treasured keepsakes” t-shirt quilts.

Her dedication to quilting and sharing joy with others soared when she joined the Southern Comforters Quilt Guild in 1998. Terri’s colorful creations took center stage as the guild’s featured quilter in 2012. Quilting provided solace during our son Ryan’s battle with leukemia, a time she refers to as “Manufacturing Sunshine.”

Inspired by a quilt Ryan received during his 2004 bone marrow transplant, Terri spearheaded an initiative for the guild to donate lap quilts to childhood cancer patients. The beneficiaries now span from Georgetown University Medical Center to hospitals in Baltimore, Ethiopia, Puerto Rico, and even families affected by the 2023 Maui fires. Terri has also created quilts to raise funds for charities supporting children with cancer.

Beyond her charitable work, Terri generously gifts quilts to family and friends. Olivia, Ryan, and I treasure the t-shirt quilts she’s made, commemorating special moments in our lives. Terri’s commitment to continuous learning and finding better ways to create her quilted works of art is awe-inspiring.

I marvel at the extensive “body of work” Terri has built through quilting, just one facet of her multi-talented life. Her tireless dedication to family, friends, and passions is superhuman. Terri, thank you for manufacturing sunshine and generously sharing your gifts with the world.

Full Original Writing

Terri Tomoff loves quilting and everything that goes along with it…the hunt for beautiful fabric, learning continuously, the creative art of quilting, and the camaraderie of sharing her love of the craft with like-minded people. In 1989, she took a quilting class in North Olmsted, Ohio, and the fuse was lit. Over the past 35 years, I have had the gift of having a front-row seat to witness the development and refinement of her quilting work.

Today, her primary quilting love is creating one-of-a-kind “treasured keepsakes” t-shirt quilts for family, friends, and customers. Her quilting expertise has evolved from hand quilting in the 1990s to using a full long-arm quilting machine to accelerate her work once the creative design is completed. Yet, her quilting passion goes far beyond the business side of her efforts. Her love of quilting and sharing the joy with others took off in 1998 when she joined the Southern Comforters Quilt Guild in Bowie, Maryland.

“Quilting consumes me.” Quote from Terri when the local newspaper featured her after she was selected as the Featured Quilter for the 2012 Southern Comforters Quilt Show. The text of the article:

March 8, 2012

Crofton-West County Gazette

Quilting Woman’s Passion

“Inspired by Betsy Ross and the bicentennial, Terri Tomoff took on her first fabric project in junior high, when she crocheted an outline of the original 13 colonies for a school project.

She was instantly intrigued by the material arts and has since created more than 200 quilts.

As the featured quilter for the Southern Comforters Annual Quilt Show, Terri’s colorful creations will take center stage at the show, which will be held March 24 and 25 at C. Elizabeth Rieg School in Bowie.

Terri started quilting as a young adult after taking a sampler quilt class in her home state of Ohio but put her hobby aside to focus on her marriage, children and career. Soon after moving to Crofton in 1996, Terri’s 2-year-old son Ryan was diagnosed with cancer and that altered her course even further. When Ryan was able to start pre-school, Terri met a fellow mom who was a member of the Southern Comforters Quilt Guild and invited her to join.

“That was in 1998 and I haven’t missed too many meetings since then,” said Terri. “Quilts consume me.” The quilting guild gets together twice a month to hone their skills, share ideas and serve the community.

Terri said that during her son’s nine-year battle with leukemia, she started making and donating quilts to sup-port cancer research and the medical centers that treated Ryan. “Instead of donating money, I made quilts that were then raffled off,” she said.

Terri also made more than 200 quilt bags gifting them to everyone from the doctors and hospital staff to the parking attendants.

At the upcoming quilt show, 30 to 40 of Terri’s quilts will be on display.

One of her favorites, which will be featured at the show, combines varying shades of solid pink and yellow fabrics and a complementary floral fabric.

“I love that quilts have a dual purpose since they are designed for both beauty and comfort,” said Terri. “I also love to see the joy in people’s faces when they receive a hand-made quilt and I think it is an honor to receive one. They are a labor of love – you just can’t knock one out.”

Terri said that she was humbled to be selected as the featured quilter for this year’s annual show and that she looks forward to continuing to color the world with her quilts.”

**March 8, 2012 – Terri Tomoff Featured Quilter – Article in Crofton-West County Gazette**

Terri embraced the quilting community and her love of quilting with fervor. Everyone should have the gift in their life of a hobby or passion that brings out their creativity and desire to improve and add value to the world. Terri found this with quilting. Her dedication and growth in the world of quilting is inspiring to all who know her. She wants to contribute to bringing joy and comfort to others with each lovingly created quilt.

Ideas are Born

Manufacturing Sunshine

Terri often tells how the quilting process helped soothe her and brighten her days at Georgetown Hospital when Ryan was an inpatient for his leukemia treatment protocols. Many long days and weeks were spent in the hospital from late 1996 through 2004. A makeshift station would be set up in Ryan’s hospital room, and when she could, Terri let her mind work with the creative side of piecing together fabrics that involved bright colors. Years later in 2017, she would reflect back and refer to those times that she was “Manufacturing Sunshine.” This is now the title of her website blog page and a theme we hold close to our hearts in our family.

Community Quilts Bringing Comfort to Childhood Cancer Children

In late October 2004, when Ryan was admitted to the PBMT floor 5200 at Duke University to begin his bone marrow transplant process, he received a quilt incorporating blank green and blue blocks for nurses, family, and others to write notes to Ryan. I remember discussing with Terri, “This quilt is a tremendous gift for the patient and the family. They are being seen and know that people care.” The act of this gift of a lap quilt brought comfort during a time of extreme concern and stress.

**March 21, 2024 – 29-year-old Ryan Tomoff with Quilt provided at Transplant in November 2004**

When we returned to Maryland in 2005, Terri inquired about the possibility of the Southern Comforters Community Quilts charitable initiative, including lap quilts to Georgetown Hospital (where Ryan was treated when we were home in Maryland) to be given to newly diagnosed childhood cancer children. The idea was warmly embraced, and Terri was leading the effort of providing quilts to the Georgetown Pediatric Oncology Clinic! A beautiful idea noted at Duke University inspired a movement in the Washington DC region. In 2015, Terri discovered and shared with me the concept of Post-Traumatic Growth. Terri shared this in her blog from 2019. We were excited to have a defined term for our emotions and desire to make a difference for others chosen to travel the path Ryan, and our family were on.

The Soothing Power of a Quilt Expands

In addition to donating quilts to Georgetown Hospital, Terri led the Southern Comforters to share the comfort internationally. She knew firsthand the comfort of a thoughtful gift that a lap quilt could bring to a child fighting cancer and their families. She was a force of nature determined to leverage her love of quilting to help others.

The beneficiaries of Terri’s and The Southern Comforters Quilt Guild efforts, over almost 20 years, now include:

Georgetown University Medical Center in Washington, DC.
LifeBridge Sinai Hospital of Baltimore in Maryland.
Mother Teresa Home for Children with Cancer – The Aslan Project in Ethiopia
San Jorge Children’s Hospital in Puerto Rico.
Maui, Hawaii Families Stricken by Fires that Devastated Lahaina on August 8, 2023
Terri Tomoff and Jodie Smith visit the Maui Quilt Shop on September 11, 2023

A touching moment happened with a quilt recipient from a family who lost their home in the Lahaina fire, as noted in point 5 above. A donated quilt had the quilter’s name on the back of the quilt, and the recipient sent the following lovely message via Facebook Messenger. Terri shared in her blog:

“After our guild meeting this past week, Joan approached me with a big smile and told me she had something special to share. Her quilt pictured below was given to a family that found her through Facebook and recently wrote her this lovely message:

“Wanted to say Hi and Aloha! I lost my home in the Lahaina fire on Maui. I was fortunate to pick out your quilt (UFO Challenge), and I just wanted to say a heartfelt thank you!””

In addition to the quilt donation efforts above, Terri has also created quilts for auction or has raffled quilts to benefit charities focused on efforts in the fight against childhood cancer. Charities benefited include:

Special Love for children with cancer.
- Special Love has been integral to Ryan and our family’s lives since 1997. See my blog post, The Magic of Special Love.
Just Tryan It provides financial assistance to families with a child in treatment for pediatric cancer.
Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation addresses psychosocial support for childhood cancer children and their families.

The Rest of the Story

Coordinating her t-shirt quilt business and the incredible charity initiatives shared above, can she make other efforts to spread her talents and love of quilts into the world? The answer is a resounding YES! Oliva, Ryan, and I have been the recipients of t-shirt quilts that we treasure, countless “baby quilts” have been gifted, and then she completes special projects for gifts (i.e., Tote Bags) and even tackles unique customer projects that showcase her broad spectrum of talent and creativity in the quilting world!

Terri is a continual learner and embraces “finding a better way” to be more effective with her quilting efforts. Her mission is to build space for the creative aspect of quilting, which she loves. Whether contemplating a collection of t-shirts, a charitable effort, or other unique projects, she experiences joy in creating a work of art that can be a lifetime gift to someone. The recipients of her art are often stunned at the beautiful work she delivers!

Within our family, Olivia, Ryan, and I all have t-shirt quilts that Terri lovingly made for us from activities that have defined a memorable aspect of our lives. My two quilts embrace my love of sports and competitive distance running memories. Olivia has a collection of memories from her competitive soccer years, and Ryan has a Special Love Camp Fantastic theme and sports memories.

**June 2020 – Ohio University, Distance Running, and Other Sports Memories**

I am thrilled that Terri found the art of quilting and savor the joy, purpose, and fulfillment it has brought to her life and the lives of others. Her talents are a gift to the world and she shares generously!

While writing this #CelebratingOthers, I marvel at the “body of work” that Terri has built with her quilting. Then, reflecting more broadly, I remind myself her quilting is only one aspect of her full, robust life. Terri is a sister, spouse, Mom, a dear friend to many, and is talented and dedicated to her life passions. The same commitment she brings to her quilting goes into everything she does. The tireless dedication to her family, supporting my efforts, and caring for Olivia and Ryan are superhuman! She is also the author of The Focused Fight, a memoir of Ryan’s wars with 3x childhood cancer and 2x adult cancers over the past 27+ years.

Terri, thank you for all you do for me, our family, and everyone you come in contact with through your quilting, writing, and sharing your passions with the world. Indeed, you are “Manufacturing Sunshine” for yourself and others!

Learn more about Terri at TerriTomoff.com ❤️.

March 17, 2024

The Virtually No One Community: Embracing a Life with Less E-MAIL | Inspired by Luiz Suarez

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

In this blog post, Don and I champion eliminating email from one’s personal and professional life to reclaim precious time and improve productivity. My twin (#TwinzTalk) Don and I were inspired by Luis Suarez, who successfully gave up corporate email in 2008 while working at IBM. Luis argues that email is a broken model of communication and collaboration that consumes too much time and buries important information.

We suggest that individuals can enjoy several benefits by consciously reducing email usage and adopting alternative collaboration tools like Slack or Microsoft Teams, enabling increased transparency, reduced spam and phishing risks, and more time for learning, personal growth, and family. We recommend starting with a hybrid approach. For example, consider limiting email to two 15-minute sessions per day to gradually transition away from email dependency.

Our post references Suarez’s journey and insights shared in an openSAP podcast. Suarez emphasizes the importance of individual action in breaking the email chain, openly sharing knowledge, and admitting that email overuse is a problem. He also highlights the challenges of transitioning from closed to open communication and the potential for AI to eliminate mundane tasks.

Our blog post serves as a rallying cry for individuals to join the “virtually no-one community,” reclaim control of their time, and enhance productivity by reducing email usage. We believe that by embracing this mindset shift and finding better ways to collaborate, people can build more fulfilling lives and become more effective contributors in all aspects of their lives.

Full Original Writing – Reclaim Your Time by Going E-Mail-less

Don and I are on a continual quest to find smarter and better working methods. When we can “find a better way,” we are excited to try [primarily] technology tools that might help us move in ways that enhance our ability to contribute to our worlds and improve our ability to reclaim more of our most precious asset – the time in our lives. Since December 2022, much of our efforts have been dedicated to studying and working with the potential of GenAI and ChatGPT. Yet this topic, which we feel is one of the most compelling in our now 40+ year careers, is only one of a long string of adoptions that have provided us a disproportionate advantage in our careers and lives.

“There’s a way to do it better – find it.” -Thomas Edison

In 2016, we were introduced to the collaboration platform Slack. Don and I immediately recognized the potential to reduce EMAIL use and create transparency around documentation and conversations among colleagues. We were off and running, working with the platform and encouraging others to embrace the potential that we felt was compelling. In hindsight, our vision was correct. Slack and, later, Microsoft Teams have become ubiquitous in the working world. However, almost seven years later, EMAIL seems to be raging as the go-to communication tool for many people and businesses.

Don and I felt as though we were on an island with our tenacity to vastly eliminate the use of EMAIL in our lives. Being on “the road less traveled” was a common feeling we experienced while pursuing smarter and more effective ways of working and living. We grew to enjoy living in the long tail of technology adoption.

If almost anyone is asked, “Do you struggle with email and the time required to manage it?” most people would respond emphatically, “YES!” Yet, because we all are familiar with this standard in our businesses and lives, we accept the burden and time-suck imposed upon us. Accepting a known inconvenience that everyone else is managing lets us off the hook of needing to confront the challenge of changing how we work. Instead, often, we complain and keep marching forward with the status quo. Don and I run toward finding a better way. We like to acknowledge and embrace that we are members of the “Virtually No One Community.”

A community of practice that I participate in is Harold Jarche’s Perpetual Beta Coffee Club (PBCC). A member of that community, Luis Suarez, posted on LinkedIn on February 15, 2024, that he was celebrating his 16-year anniversary of “surviving corporate life without using email!” What a radical (inspiring to the Twinz) thought and initiative to embark upon in 2008. We proudly count Luis as a member of our “virtually no-one community!”

Why is the elimination of email such a big deal? The number one encouragement we implore is, “You reclaim time in your life to dedicate yourself to matters of greater importance – higher quality work time for learning and growing, and most importantly, time in your personal life for your family and other priorities.” Being a more effective, efficient, and contributing person across all aspects of life is compelling. Who does not want to be a more optimal performer?

In this podcast episode, openSAP Podcasts – Education NewsCast – Episode 277, “Insights on NoEmail and distributed, remote work with Luis Suarez,” Luis talks with Thomas Jenewein about his decision to choose to eliminate the use of email in his corporate life. If you think, “My company is too big, and this would not be possible in my case, Luiz made his decision when he was working with IBM!“

Indeed, there is a better way, and Luiz shares his insights on making #NoEmail a reality in your world. At 23:00 minutes, Luiz shares his thoughts about starting with a hybrid solution to reducing email. This is the solution that Don and I embraced starting in 2016. Currently, I prioritize two 15-minute daily periods to review and clear email. My goal is to be intentional with my email review and not exceed 30 minutes per day. In addition to reclaiming precious time in our days (mentioned above), a few additional compelling benefits for us include:

Using a collaboration tool (i.e., Slack or MS Teams), sharing and transparency “for all to see” enhances access, and information is not buried in email.
EMAIL spam and phishing risks are eliminated.
Time saved from email management is available for prioritizing more important personal or professional matters, such as learning, development, and personal growth.

On February 15 and 18, 2008, Luiz shared blog posts about his decision to eliminate email. It was a courageous move that the mainstream world thought ludicrous. One reaction to his announcement was, “You will be fired within two weeks.”

A Refreshing New Way of Collaborating and Sharing Knowledge – Giving up on e-mail! (Part I) – https://www.elsua.net/2008/02/15/a-refreshing-new-way-of-collaborating-and-sharing-knowledge-giving-up-on-e-mail-part-i/
A Refreshing New Way of Collaborating and Sharing Knowledge – Giving up on e-mail! (Part II) – https://www.elsua.net/2008/02/18/a-refreshing-new-way-of-collaborating-and-sharing-knowledge-giving-up-on-e-mail-part-ii/

I highly encourage listening to the full podcast discussion. Luiz stood up and said, “Enough” to the challenge that email brings to so many of us. May this post and his emphasis throughout the podcast inspire you to take action and reclaim your precious time! As Don and I did, starting in earnest in 2016, we adopted a conscious mindset to reduce and control the use of email. A hybrid approach has worked for us and changed our lives – personally and professionally!

Below are several timestamps in the podcast that were notable in my listening, but please listen to the full podcast!

3:00 – Why no email?
4:15 – Email is a broken model of communication and collaboration.
5:45 – Two different kinds of reactions. First, “You will be fired within two weeks.” Note – Luis was employed with IBM when he implemented his decision. He was NOT fired within two weeks.
8:10 – Now, in 2024, receive EIGHT emails per week. EIGHT!
9:10 – Myth of Inbox Zero.
9:40 – If you really want to reduce email, YOU, you, the individual, need to stop using email first. Break the chain.
10:20 – Why am I doing it?
13:30 – Study how you use email (to begin the process of elimination – small steps).
16:00 – Openness and transparency using different tools.
17:00 – My knowledge is not my knowledge. It’s everyone’s knowledge.
18:00 – Hoarding knowledge in email. Why?
19:50 – YOU are much more powerful if you share your knowledge with others.
20:35 – Reduce unnecessary workloads. Ask why, why…
23:00 – Hybrid solution – less email and use other tools allowing transparency. This is a great starting point.
26:20 – In your email inbox, you cannot scale…
31:45 – Change is hard…
37:10 – The transition from closed to open is a very challenging shift to make. Everyone wants to be an expert.
39:15 – Hiding in your inbox is not going to take you anywhere.
41:30 – Start with admitting, “I do have a problem.”
42:00 – GenAI helps get rid of mundane tasks. Why not eliminate mundane tasks? Hard stop. There is no need for AI in this case!
45:20 – We need to take back control of how we do work.

Join the movement and build a more productive and fulfilling life for yourself. Thank you, Luiz, for taking your position in 2008 and living true to your mission. You have inspired the twinz and shown the world what is possible. There is a better way – and you have found it!

Bonus – please read the following media coverage of Luis’s initiative to eliminate EMAIL:

I Freed Myself From E-Mail’s Grip – New York Times June 29, 2008

IBM Gives Birth to Amazing E-Mail-less Man – WIRED January 16, 2012

March 16, 2024

#TwinzTalk Life Advice and Lessons Learned

On December 3, 2023, I gifted my twin brother Don my unpublished memoir Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes. The book led with advice and life lessons we have learned through our careers in business and working closely with each other – as only a twin could do. Directly from the book, I share the following:

Book Back Cover Blurb

In collaboration with ChatGPT, the back cover blurb for the book sets the context of the gift I have received by the good fortune to share my life with a twin brother:

In his reflections, author Bill Tomoff delves into the profound bond he shares with his twin brother Don. Beginning their journey together in 1958, Bill and Don have navigated the complexities of life, intertwining their personal and professional paths in an extraordinary dance of support, competition, and growth.

This book is a heartfelt tribute to a relationship that exemplifies resilience and mutual inspiration. Through anecdotes from their childhood to their careers in accounting and technology, Bill paints a vivid portrait of a life enriched by Don’s presence. Their story is one of shared trials and triumphs, a testament to the unique connection between twins and the strength of having a constant ally.

Bill’s reflections are a chronicle of twinhood and a celebration of gratitude. He credits Don’s influence for much of his personal and professional development, underscoring the importance of support systems in achieving success. This book is a compelling narrative of two lives beautifully interwoven, a journey of learning, adaptation, and relentless pursuit of excellence, made possible by the unwavering bond between twin brothers.

Advice and Life Lessons Learned from the Twinz

Throughout our lives and careers, Don and I are grateful to have learned many lessons that have helped guide our approach to our worlds. We hope some of the points noted below will resonate with you and help you “level up” and achieve greater fulfillment and success.

A great joy in our lives is when we can share and help others through our own life experiences. If any of these tips resonate with you, please share them in your world!

Do your best: Your best is all anyone can ask.
Play the infinite game: Be aware of the game you are playing.
“Don’t let work get in the way of progress.” – Don Tomoff
“Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.” – Bill Tomoff
Help others: In every interaction, think “help this person.” – inspiration from Bruce Kasanoff
Invest in yourself: Your time and resources. Prioritize personal development.
Read. Read: “Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” – Harry S. Truman.
You will fail: You will make mistakes. Learn from these moments.
Learn from other people’s mistakes. Charlie Munger’s encouragement.
Be humble and carry a beginner’s (always learning) mindset.
Live a life of kindness and gratitude and express appreciation to others.
Send handwritten thank you notes: Expressing appreciation for family, friends, colleagues, customers, and others who help your journey through life is a superpower.
Generously share your knowledge and skills.
Live with an abundance mindset – not a scarcity (win-lose) mindset. There is room for everyone to win.
Embrace a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset.
Do not gossip, judge others, or share unwanted opinions.
Lead by example.
Change yourself to change others.
People need people: Remember the African proverb – “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.“
Embrace a morning routine of quiet time for reading and contemplation.
Be humble, be curious, and not judgemental – always be learning.
Understand the strength in these three words: “I don’t know.”
In your actions and daily life – “leave it better than you found it.” For example – see Bill Tomoff’s departing note to colleagues at the Cleveland Cavaliers in 2014.
Take what you do seriously. Do not take yourself seriously.
Care – about doing your best, helping others, personal development, doing good, and being kind to yourself and others in your world.
Work to deserve respect, trust, success, etc. – while we do not control external factors, we CAN live to enhance our lives and deserve the desired outcome.
Participate in Communities of Practice. Bill Tomoff’s blog “Navigating New Horizons: Social Media to Communities of Practice.”
To be continued (the learning and growth never stops…)

January 22, 2024

Navigating New Horizons: Social Media to Communities of Practice

Executive Summary – Collaboration with ChatGPT

Since 2009, my twin, Don, and I have been captivated by the potential of social media, using it to foster our personal and professional growth and share insights through initiatives like #TwinzTalk and #TwinsTechTip. Our journey on these platforms laid the groundwork for a deeper exploration into specialized communities of practice (COPs), a transition inspired by Seth Godin’s 2020 blog on “A Community of Practice.”

My wife, Terri, and I embarked on a COP new venture, starting with a writing community group in 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic. These focused communities have been a wellspring of learning and growth and building new connections and knowledge beyond the broader platforms available through social media. Influential figures like Tanmay Vora, Rajesh Setty, and Harold Jarche have been instrumental in this journey, inspired by Tanmay’s work on leadership and learning, which deeply resonated with me.

This shift to more intimate COPs has been transformative, aligning with the principle “to whom much is given, much will be required” (Luke 12:48). It echoes the support and kindness my family experienced during my son Ryan’s cancer battles, a blessing I am committed to paying forward. The journey through COPs and virtual communities has been profound, reminding us of our responsibility to contribute and grow within these nurturing spaces and our broader network when possible. I embrace the requirement that my talents and gifts must be shared with my broader network – a network that is exponentially larger through the availability of social media and COPs.

“To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.”

–Steve Prefontaine

Original Reflection

I have separately written about my appreciation of participating in Communities of Practice (COP). I am developing a blog post that takes a deeper dive into how my wife, Terri, and I have been encouraged and inspired through our involvement in various communities that started in June 2020.

My contemplation about my involvement in COPs lifts me up. I am grateful to many wonderfully talented, generous, and kind participants who have helped me learn and grow. The community’s participants care about developing their craft and helping others on their path. The environment is enriching.

Before joining a specific COP (Writing in Community was my initial participation), I felt a “looser,” yet similar, connection through many social media relationships that have developed over the years. I revisited a blog post from Tanmay Vora titled Leading and Learning: How to Feed a Community. Now, after my experience with specific COPs over the past 3+ years, Tanmay’s post resonates more clearly with me.

Tanmay Vora Sketchnote – Lisa Haneberg “How to feed the community.”

“To whom much is given, much will be required.” (Luke 12:48)

“The idea of “to whom much is given, much will be required” is that we are held responsible for what we have. If we are blessed with talents, wealth, knowledge, time, and the like, it is expected that we use these well to glorify God and benefit others.” [BOLD emphasis is mine]

I credit my first awareness of the above thought to Mr. Abe Pollin, the owner of Washington Sports & Entertainment, the organization I worked with from 1996 to 2011. Beyond wealth, we must help others with the other blessings we may receive – such as talents and knowledge. An additional blessing that I am committed to paying forward for the rest of my life is the gift of kindness and support that family, friends, community, and strangers have brought to my family’s lives through my son Ryan’s 27+ five-time battles with cancer. I am forever indebted and grateful for all the gifts in my life, and I will use those gifts to help others.

My twin Don and I love social media – we appreciated the professional potential early on, starting in 2009. Sharing a strong interest in technology and personal development, our careers have emphasized building awareness, skills, and learning across many areas that we then shared in our professional circles and on social media. We strive to enlighten others with the gifts our vision and early adopter tendencies have brought to our lives. In 2018 and 2020, we initiated #TwinzTalk and #TwinsTechTip, respectively, for sharing tips on LinkedIn.

Tanmay’s blog post inspired me to highlight his and his work’s impact on my life. Since our 2016 connection via Twitter, his talent, generosity, and kindness for helping others around leadership and conveying his learning into beautiful digestible sketchnotes have helped sharpen/refine my interest in personal development and my potential for helping others through my experiences and life learnings. Helping others learn and grow their talents is my gift and the purpose of my work. In Tanmay’s blog post, he notes:

“Lisa Haneberg, one of my favorite bloggers, wrote about how to feed a community where she said,

If we want to belong to a vibrant community we have to feed it.”

“It became quite clear to me that learning is a social act and we learn the most when we learn together.

In the communities that we choose to belong to (online and offline), we have to do our part in feeding it. It is only when we are generous about sharing our gifts that we build credibility to receive anything meaningful in return…”

Tanmay also mentions Rajesh Setty and his course offering “The Right Hustle,” along with Harold Jarche and his work about Personal Knowledge Mastery. I am connected to Rajesh and Harold and have learned much from them. My interest and action to follow are all thanks to Tanmay’s belief in their work. I am forever grateful and indebted. My responsibility is to pay forward their contributions by helping others in my network.

In May 2020, Seth Godin shared a blog, “A Community of Practice,” that led Terri and I to join a Community of Practice (a separate, more in-depth discussion of this to follow). In addition to the learning community that Don and I have developed via social media, Seth introduced the possibility of joining specific intimate communities that created the potential for greater connection among like-minded, kind, and generous people. Little did we know the magic that would unfold for us, beginning with our initial enrollment in a writing-in-community platform in June 2020! The pandemic and virtual communities of practice collided in 2020, and as Doctor Seuss would say:

“Oh, The Places You’ll Go! You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights!”

–Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

Who feeds your learning, and are you living up to your responsibility to do your part in feeding the community?

**Terri and Bill Tomoff with book efforts in Writing In Community community of practice 2020-2021**

November 5, 2023November 30, 2023

A Drop of Hope: How a Marrow Transplant Ignited a Lifetime of Gratitude

ChatGPT Highlights of Post

I pause to reflect back on November 3, 2004, a day ingrained in our hearts as we nervously sat in Duke University Medical Center, awaiting the marrow donation that held the hope of a fresh lease of life for Ryan, battling Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.
The week of outpatient radiation Ryan endured, wiping out his immune system, only intensified the need for a successful transfusion, each passing moment fueling our prayers for the meticulous execution of the transplant.
Our beacon of hope was Scott Harris, whose altruistic act of marrow donation from miles away in New York was the cornerstone of Ryan’s fight for survival. His selfless act is a testament to the adage that humanity thrives in unity.
Rajesh Setty’s words, “Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude,” resonates deeply with our experiences, encapsulating the essence of thankfulness we foster each day for Scott and many others whose benevolence has been a guiding light in our journey.
The narrative within Terri’s memoir, “The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles,” not only chronicles our voyage through turbulent times but also advocates for the priceless act of marrow donation, urging the reader to explore and share the life-saving potential encapsulated in “Be The Match.”

Our narrative is a homage to the boundless generosity we’ve received and a call to action for others to partake in life-altering acts of kindness, fostering a continuum of hope and lifesaving camaraderie.

Full Reflection (Written November 3, 2023)

“Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude.” – Rajesh Setty

November 3, 2004. Nineteen years ago today, my family and I were in Durham, NC, at Duke University Medical Center. Terri Tomoff and my son, sister Olivia’s brother, were with Ryan as we anxiously awaited the marrow donation to be delivered to Duke and prepared for transfusion to Ryan. We all were praying for the successful execution of steps that needed to be taken to provide Ryan with his opportunity for a life-saving transplant. He was waiting in his hospital room after having completed a week of outpatient radiation that eliminated his immune system – his body’s ability to fight an infection was non-existent.

When we experienced Ryan’s 3x wars with childhood cancer (ALL – Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia), we immediately understood that people need people. Success in the process was not in our control. The realization creates desperation. On this day in November 2004, we all waited anxiously for the necessary steps that had to unfold before delivering the marrow transfusion to Ryan.

We would only learn the specifics a full year later. Still, our donor, Scott Harris, from the New York area, started the morning of November 3rd by going to a local hospital to have his marrow harvested for delivery to Duke, where a ten-year-old boy and his family waited. At approximately 7:45 PM, the transplant was started!

Every day, we carry an attitude of gratitude for Scott Harris and the gift of life that his selfless act provided to Ryan and our family. Yet, on the anniversary, we take an intentional pause and reflect on his kindness, along with the care and compassion of many people and medical professionals who dedicated their efforts to Ryan’s survival. Rajesh Setty’s quote above, which I discovered in his YouTube video, “Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time,” could not more perfectly articulate the emotion in our family.

I encourage everyone to watch the video for thought-provoking inspiration and encouragement from Rajesh, particularly from 3:00 to 5:05 minutes, where he references Dr. Howard Hogshead and life-changing gifts.

The list of people I feel heartfelt gratitude for is very long, and we dedicate our lives to helping others, honoring those who have impacted our journey and who ultimately gave the gift of life to Ryan.

In her memoir book, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, Terri discusses Ryan and our family’s in-depth journey through transplant (Chapter 23 – The Transplant) and the emotional meeting with Scott Harris on November 4, 2005 (Chapter 27 – Can YOU Be The Match?).

As Terri asks with her title of chapter 27 – can you be the match? Please check out and share the critically vital link to Be The Match.