The Focused Fight: How Dr. Aziza Shad’s Guidance Fueled Our Family’s Cancer Battle and Personal Growth

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

I recently had a conversation with a friend in an MBA program who was advised by a classmate to lower the bar and focus more on soft skills. While I agree that real skills are critically important, I strongly disagree with the suggestion to lower the bar on learning. My twin brother Don and I are passionate about personal development and relentlessly encouraging others to bring their best selves to the world every day.

This commitment to excellence was solidified for me when my son Ryan was diagnosed with leukemia at age two in 1996. Dr. Aziza Shad, Ryan’s pediatric oncologist, came into our lives and guided us through an incredibly difficult journey. We had to completely trust Dr. Shad and her team to save Ryan’s life. A critical part of that trust was the expectation that she and everyone involved in Ryan’s care was dedicated to bringing their absolute best knowledge, judgment, and effort.

While most of us don’t hold others’ lives in our hands on a daily basis, I believe we should demand the same level of excellence from ourselves in whatever work we do. I owe this to Dr. Shad and the many professionals who exemplify this commitment. Ryan is thriving 27 years later thanks to their dedication and skill.

Dr. Shad’s example has inspired me to always strive to be my best and help others with the knowledge and skills I’ve gained over my lifetime. My wife Terri has also been moved by Dr. Shad’s encouragement to share our family’s story in her memoir. I hope others find inspiration in this message to never settle or get complacent, but to continually learn, prepare, and contribute your talents to the fullest. The world needs you at your best.

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My twin Don and I embrace a theme in our careers and lives: “Take what you do seriously. Do not take yourself seriously.

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend in an MBA program, and a classmate suggested, “You are taking the MBA too seriously. You should lower the bar and improve your soft skills.” This friend happens to be a spectacular human being with real (prefer term vs. “soft”) skills that I wish I possessed. I agree that we all must understand the critical importance of real skills, yet a suggestion to lower the bar on learning through the MBA curriculum content? NO.

Don and I are all-in on personal development, and we relentlessly encourage others to be serious about continually learning and bringing their best selves to the world every day. Please be serious and do your best with all learning opportunities you encounter. We must be our best and bring our learning and talents to the world!

“To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.”

—Steve Prefontaine

Lowering the bar” means accepting that we can get by and succeed with less effort. We don’t need to be at our best. This sounds crazy to contemplate, doesn’t it? In my world, I expect the best from myself and those I interact with. Let’s pull the thread on this idea to make a compelling and obvious point – in the medical profession, for example, are we accepting of a doctor who has lowered the bar and is not bringing her best talents to serve patients?

On October 17, 1996, our family’s life was forever changed when my son, Ryan, was diagnosed with cancer – Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) at the age of two years and two months. My wife Terri, and I, were stunned, scared, and had no concept of how we could move forward. On Saturday morning, October 19, 1996, Dr. Aziza Shad came into our lives carrying a protocol requiring our authorization for treatment to commence on Monday, October 21, 1996. Dr. Shad gently and caringly stepped through the protocol stages that would require three years and two months to complete and answered our questions. In order to save Ryan’s life, we had no option other than to accept and authorize the protocol.

We quickly understood a few core facts:

  • We had no control over a complicated childhood cancer world.
  • Dr. Shad and her team in the pediatric oncology world at Georgetown University Medical Center were our hope for saving Ryan’s life.
  • We had to trust Dr. Shad completely and partner with her while relentlessly advocating for Ryan.

Part of our trust in Dr. Shad and the medical community was our expectation that she and everyone involved in Ryan’s care was dedicated to staying current and relentlessly preparing to bring their best knowledge and judgment to Ryan and the countless patients whose lives depended on them. Let that sink in – isn’t this what you pray for when you put your trust in your doctors? While many of us are not saving lives on a daily basis, why would we accept less than our best when we live our lives personally and professionally? I have many limitations, but dedicating myself to continual learning, preparation, and bringing my best skills and effort to those counting on me is something I demand of myself. I owe this in honor of Dr. Shad and the many professionals who bring the same commitment to their lives every day.

We are blessed to have Ryan thriving now 27 years later, and Dr. Shad at his and our side guiding his follow-up care. Dr. Shad’s example of expertise, care, and compassion has solidified my determination to bring my best every day and help others with the skills and knowledge I have earned throughout my lifetime.

With Dr. Shad’s years-long encouragement, Terri published her memoir of Ryan’s five-time cancer battles in her book The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey from Mayhem to Miracles in March 2021. Dr. Shad kindly wrote a foreword for the book!

Terri Tomoff and Dr Aziza Shad – The Focused Fight

I will continue with future posts about Dr. Shad, where I will share the foreword from the book and other sentiments that speak to the incredible doctor and human being that she is.

To close this post, I hope you find inspiration to do everything in your power to be the best person and contributor you can be in your choice of work and how you carry yourself through each day of your life. Do not settle, get complacent, or “lower the bar.” The world needs your contribution!