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#TwinzTalk Life Advice and Lessons Learned

On December 3, 2023, I gifted my twin brother Don my unpublished memoir Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes. The book led with advice and life lessons we have learned through our careers in business and working closely with each other – as only a twin could do. Directly from the book, I share the following:

Book Back Cover Blurb

In collaboration with ChatGPT, the back cover blurb for the book sets the context of the gift I have received by the good fortune to share my life with a twin brother:

In his reflections, author Bill Tomoff delves into the profound bond he shares with his twin brother Don. Beginning their journey together in 1958, Bill and Don have navigated the complexities of life, intertwining their personal and professional paths in an extraordinary dance of support, competition, and growth.

This book is a heartfelt tribute to a relationship that exemplifies resilience and mutual inspiration. Through anecdotes from their childhood to their careers in accounting and technology, Bill paints a vivid portrait of a life enriched by Don’s presence. Their story is one of shared trials and triumphs, a testament to the unique connection between twins and the strength of having a constant ally.

Bill’s reflections are a chronicle of twinhood and a celebration of gratitude. He credits Don’s influence for much of his personal and professional development, underscoring the importance of support systems in achieving success. This book is a compelling narrative of two lives beautifully interwoven, a journey of learning, adaptation, and relentless pursuit of excellence, made possible by the unwavering bond between twin brothers.

Advice and Life Lessons Learned from the Twinz

Throughout our lives and careers, Don and I are grateful to have learned many lessons that have helped guide our approach to our worlds. We hope some of the points noted below will resonate with you and help you “level up” and achieve greater fulfillment and success.

A great joy in our lives is when we can share and help others through our own life experiences. If any of these tips resonate with you, please share them in your world!

  1. Do your best: Your best is all anyone can ask.
  2. Play the infinite game: Be aware of the game you are playing.
  3. “Don’t let work get in the way of progress.” – Don Tomoff
  4. “Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.” – Bill Tomoff
  5. Help others: In every interaction, think “help this person.” – inspiration from Bruce Kasanoff
  6. Invest in yourself: Your time and resources. Prioritize personal development.
  7. Read. Read: “Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” – Harry S. Truman.
  8. You will fail: You will make mistakes. Learn from these moments.
  9. Learn from other people’s mistakes. Charlie Munger’s encouragement.
  10. Be humble and carry a beginner’s (always learning) mindset.
  11. Live a life of kindness and gratitude and express appreciation to others.
  12. Send handwritten thank you notes: Expressing appreciation for family, friends, colleagues, customers, and others who help your journey through life is a superpower.
  13. Generously share your knowledge and skills.
  14. Live with an abundance mindset – not a scarcity (win-lose) mindset. There is room for everyone to win.
  15. Embrace a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset.
  16. Do not gossip, judge others, or share unwanted opinions.
  17. Lead by example.
  18. Change yourself to change others.
  19. People need people: Remember the African proverb – “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.“
  20. Embrace a morning routine of quiet time for reading and contemplation.
  21. Be humble, be curious, and not judgemental – always be learning.
  22. Understand the strength in these three words: “I don’t know.”
  23. In your actions and daily life – “leave it better than you found it.” For example – see Bill Tomoff’s departing note to colleagues at the Cleveland Cavaliers in 2014.
  24. Take what you do seriously. Do not take yourself seriously.
  25. Care – about doing your best, helping others, personal development, doing good, and being kind to yourself and others in your world.
  26. Work to deserve respect, trust, success, etc. – while we do not control external factors, we CAN live to enhance our lives and deserve the desired outcome.
  27. Participate in Communities of Practice. Bill Tomoff’s blog “Navigating New Horizons: Social Media to Communities of Practice.”
  28. To be continued (the learning and growth never stops…)
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Discovering Myself Through Memoir: A Journey of Self-Reflection and Gratitude

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

In this introspective blog post, I reflect on the concept of one’s “body of work” – the unique collection of experiences, talents, and contributions that make up an individual’s life story. Inspired by the writings of Steven Pressfield and Seth Godin, who emphasize that we are all artists in our own lives, I encourage readers to recognize and embrace their personal growth, leadership, and positive impact on others as their own form of art.

I share my own journey of self-discovery, which began in June 2020 when I joined a writing community with my wife, Terri. Through daily writing, I gained clarity of thought and a deeper appreciation for the power of the written word. This led to the creation of four unpublished memoirs, each focusing on a different aspect of my life: my personal story, my daughter’s soccer career, my older brother’s profound impact, and my shared experiences with my twin brother.

My work encompasses various meaningful areas that have shaped my identity and the value I strive to bring to the world. These include my experiences as a competitive distance runner, my academic and professional achievements, my role as a family man and caregiver to my son (a five-time cancer survivor), my love of sports, my involvement in soccer and refereeing, my advocacy for childhood cancer, personal development, and kindness, as well as my engagement in social media and communities of practice.

I conclude the blog post with an invitation to readers to contemplate their own life experiences and recognize the unique talents and nuances that make up their individual stories. I encourage everyone to embrace their personal body of work and continue refining it throughout their lives, joining me on this shared adventure of self-discovery and growth.

Full Original Writing – Introduction to My Body of Work

What is your story? Everyone has a story… and we all develop a body of work that builds as we find our path through life. Our body of work grows and our life perspective and wisdom is the gift of our work. We all are artists creating our own unique art that cannot be replicated by another human.

“One of the major responsibilities of a person is to make that intellectual spark which you have received from heaven illuminate the world around you.”

—Chinese Wisdom

The opportunity I am embracing here is to share my interpretation of my body of work through my personal lens. This writing is inspired by reading The Daily Pressfield by Steven Pressfield and The Icarus Deception by Seth Godin. Steven and Seth emphasize that we all can be/are artists in our lives. I love this – we just need to recognize how we grow, lead, contribute, and help others, is our art, if we care enough to put our heart and soul into the work of being our best every day.

As you read the rest of this introduction, I encourage you to contemplate, “What is my body of work that is the art creating my life story?”

My life has evolved from being a fiercely independent, accomplishment-driven young man to a family man led by my life experiences to building and developing my talents so I can maximize helping others and leaving the world a better place for having been alive.

My adventure into deeper self-introspection started in June 2020 when I joined my wife, Terri, in a writing community. Over the past [almost] four years, we have grown to love the daily process of writing, the clarity the writing brings to our thoughts, and an appreciation of the gift of writing and the community of kind and caring people participating with us.

My efforts have resulted in four unpublished memoirs that I have completed. I have gained tremendous enjoyment from writing these memoirs and fulfillment knowing the thoughts, appreciation, and memories I ultimately leave for my family. The four memoirs have now made it possible to think about and more clearly articulate my body of work through the blessing of my 65-plus years of life,

The four unpublished memoirs completed, and one in process, include:

  1. December 2020 – Living Life…Off The Track. My personal memoir.
  2. December 2021 – Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer. My memoir of our daughter Olivia’s 15-year soccer career.
  3. January 2023 – “Million Dollar Al” and Beyond. My memoir of my older brother Alex and his profound impact on my life.
  4. December 2023 – Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes. My memoir of my twin brother Don and our shared adventure in life.
  5. TBD (in-process) 2024 – I Did My Best. I Cared: Reflections on Experiences, Lessons Learned, and Heartfelt Tips to Live a Fulfilling Life.

As I write at this point in time, the meaningful areas of my body of work are many. I hold each of these close to my heart. They have shaped who I am and the value I strive to bring to the world every day. The areas include:

  1. Competitive distance runner
  2. College academics
  3. Career
  4. Family
  5. Caregiver, with Terri, for our five-time cancer survivor son Ryan.
  6. Post-Traumatic Growth
  7. Love of sports shared with family
  8. Soccer and soccer referee
  9. Advocate for childhood cancer
  10. Advocate for personal development
  11. Advocate for kindness
  12. Social Media 2010 and forward
  13. #TwinzTalk cofounder 2018
  14. Philosophy of Stoicism since 2019
  15. Communities of practice

What is your story? Contemplating your life experiences, you may realize, as I have, that there are many nuances to every person’s life. We are all unique and have talents within us that no one else owns. Embrace yours and continue refining your body of work for the rest of your life! Join me on this adventure.

Follow my writing as I expand in greater depth to highlight each area of my body of work. Thank you for reading!

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ChatGPT Lite Part 1 of 6 – How to Get Started: Introduction

Introducing ChatGPT Lite

Since the introduction of ChatGPT in December 2023, #TwinzTalk Don Tomoff and I have prioritized learning and working with OpenAI’s ChatGPT and other LLMs, such as Anthropic’s Claude AI.

In the work that Don and I do, we continually challenge ourselves to “narrow the path” and present actionable information that encourages others to invest in their learning and identify ways to leverage technology to benefit their lives personally and professionally. In this regard, Generative AI and specifically the ChatGPT Plus LLM have become the most urgent focus for everyone. The advancements in these technologies are going to continue and accelerate. This document is focused on an introduction to getting started with ChatGPT adoption. We are referring to this as “ChatGPT Lite.”

Topics to be covered include:

  • Description of Generative AI (GenAI) and how ChatGPT fits into the framework of GenAI.
  • Steps to getting started with ChatGPT.
  • High-level concepts to understand.
  • Resources for learning – influencers and online learning courses.
  • Sample of use cases to inspire your creativity for personal use.

Before diving into the topics, in our interest of narrowing the path, we consider the following steps essential:

  1. Establish a ChatGPT account through the OpenAI website.
  2. Enroll in ChatGPT Plus. This cost is currently $20 per month, and we emphasize that this must be considered a non-negotiable personal investment for every individual.
  3. Commit to being curious and learning daily. Drip, drip, drip, the learning compounds by dedicating and investing personal time.
  4. Understand that adoption of ChatGPT Plus is an individual decision and NOT subject to the approval of an employer. The opportunities to expose yourself and learn with this technology can be done personally without crossing the boundaries of professional roles possibly involving an employer’s intellectual property.

With this overview introduction completed, please follow along as we delve into the specific topics detailed above!

Parts 2 through 6 of this ChatGPT Lite series of blog posts can be accessed through the links below:

  1. Part 1 of 6 (Introduction) can be found here. 
  2. Part 2 of 6 (Description of GenAI framework and ChatGPT “fit”) can be found here. 
  3. Part 3 of 6 (Steps to Getting Started) can be found here. 
  4. Part 4 of 6 (High-Level Concepts to Understand) can be found here.
  5. Part 5 of 6 (Resources for Learning: Influencers and Online Learning courses) can be found here.
  6. Part 6 of 6 (Sample Use Cases to Inspire Your Creativity for Personal Use) can be found here.
#TwinzTalk – Let’s Connect the Dots…
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The Ripple Effect of Post-Traumatic Growth: How ‘Doing Our Best’ Transcended Personal Triumph

“Have you done your best?“

A theme that has been a central aspect and one I have held close throughout my life is my goal to always answer this question with “Yes, I did my best.” In my teen years, my efforts focused on distance running. However, I became much more intentional with my self-encouragement and introspection in 1977 when I started attending Ohio University and took on the challenge of obtaining a business degree in accounting.

On October 17, 1996, my and my family’s life was forever changed by the challenge of my son Ryan’s childhood cancer diagnosis. Every day, my wife Terri, me, then four-year-old daughter Olivia, and two-year-old Ryan started surviving by bringing “our best” to the day and the often unimaginable stresses that were now a part of our everyday lives. An acute sense of gratitude for life and the joys of ordinary moments quickly took hold in our perspectives. I wish our gift of perspective were one that everyone could genuinely appreciate. Yet, I wish for others to reach this perspective without traveling the road Ryan and our family have traveled for the past 27+ years.

Post-Traumatic Growth

In chapter 33 of Terri’s memoir The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, she discusses her discovery of Post-Traumatic Growth while we were traveling in 2015. Thanks to Oprah Magazine and journalist Ginny Graves, Terri’s discovery of this topic crystallized many emotions we felt through Ryan’s challenges. Without realizing the impact (our focus was saving Ryan’s life and providing as much normalcy as possible for Olivia), our lives profoundly changed by embracing our mission to help others affected by childhood cancer and to pay forward the care and kindness that has been showered upon us since that life-changing day in 1996. In introducing the section in her book, Terri shared this quote that has rung true for us:

“Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor.”

—Marianne Williamson

Collaborating with ChatGPT, I summarized the chapter with a 500-word recap and then generated an insightful bullet-point highlight list of ways post-traumatic growth has enhanced our lives. I shared these two results below. A BONUS – the full text of chapter 33 from Terri’s memoir is provided here.

Chapter 33 Summary | Collaboration with ChatGPT

Chapter 33 of Terri Tomoff’s book “The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles” is titled “Post-Traumatic Growth.” The chapter opens with a note from Tomoff’s son, Ryan, reflecting on his experiences with PTSD following his battle with cancer. This note provides insight into the challenges he faced, such as constant fear of cancer recurrence, the constant medical environment, and coping mechanisms like video games.

Tomoff connects Ryan’s struggles with the concept of post-traumatic growth (PTG), an idea suggesting that individuals can experience positive transformation following trauma. This concept is hard for some to comprehend, and not everyone can rally around it, but it represents an alternative to the narrative of unending suffering.

Tomoff then recounts her family’s various contributions to their community following Ryan’s diagnosis, including running marathons to raise money, starting a Postcard Project, and taking meals to the hospital floor where Ryan was treated. She shares that these activities, aimed at helping others, could be considered PTG as they transformed their family’s trauma into a positive force that benefited their community.

The term PTG was coined by Richard Tedeschi, a psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, who asserted that trauma survivors could undergo profound changes that extend beyond mere resilience. Jack Tsai from Yale School of Medicine adds that the healthcare system emphasizes identifying dysfunctions rather than superior functioning. This trend is now shifting towards promoting overall well-being.

Tomoff elaborates on her family’s extensive volunteer work, including lobbying for childhood cancer funding, founding advisory boards, and volunteering at various organizations and events. These activities provided a sense of purpose, helped others facing similar challenges, and, in return, aided their healing process.

Tomoff explains that despite the pain associated with a childhood cancer diagnosis, the shared experience has created a strong sense of community and camaraderie. This has led to emotional sharing sessions that have deeply moved the families involved and the staff at the facilities they work with.

Finally, the chapter highlights the Southern Comforters Quilt Guild of Bowie, Maryland, which Tomoff is a part of. The group has made over 2000 quilts for newly diagnosed children at Georgetown University Hospital and has extended its mission internationally. Tomoff and her family’s endeavors reflect the essence of PTG, transforming a traumatic experience into meaningful contributions to society, leading to their emotional growth.

Post-Traumatic Growth: Our Enhanced Family Approach to Life | Collaboration with ChatGPT

From Chapter 33 of Terri Tomoff’s memoir, it’s clear that the family’s experience with their son Ryan’s cancer diagnosis and subsequent trauma transformed their approach to life, fostering a deep commitment to aiding others and giving back to society. This transformation reflects their experience with post-traumatic growth (PTG). Here are some key ways in which PTG enhanced their life:

  1. Embracing Purpose Through Helping Others: They found purpose and solace in assisting others undergoing similar trials. This included running marathons to raise funds, launching “The Postcard Project”, delivering meals to the hospital, and volunteering at multiple organizations. They found a form of healing by turning their trauma into meaningful activities.
  2. Creating Advocacy Initiatives: Their personal experience led them to advocate for more funding for childhood cancer research. Tomoff mentions lobbying on Capitol Hill with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society as a part of this initiative.
  3. Building Community: They co-founded the Parent Advisory Board and involved themselves in other groups supporting families dealing with cancer. This fostered a strong sense of community, which provided emotional support and a platform for shared experiences.
  4. Promoting Well-Being and Positive Transformation: Their work with others emphasized the promotion of well-being, aligning with the concept of PTG. They believed that surviving adversity could be used as a catalyst for profound personal change and betterment.
  5. Empathy and Understanding: Their own experience with trauma allowed them to deeply empathize with other families going through similar experiences, making them effective in their efforts to help others.
  6. Legacy and Long-Term Commitment: The family has pledged a lifelong commitment to giving back to society, acknowledging that they “will never live long enough to give back to the universe.” This dedication is evident in their ongoing efforts, such as Terri Tomoff’s work with the Southern Comforters Quilt Guild, which has created over 2,000 quilts for children newly diagnosed with cancer.
  7. Family Involvement: The family turned their struggle into a collective mission, involving every family member in various ways. This not only helped in dealing with their trauma but also fostered a sense of unity and shared purpose within the family.

In summary, the concept of post-traumatic growth profoundly affected the Tomoff family, driving their extensive efforts to help others, advocate for change, and create a legacy of kindness and resilience in the face of adversity. This has fundamentally transformed their approach to life, making them deeply committed to serving their community.

Thanks to the interpretation and insights offered by ChatGPT, the results beautifully articulate the essence of Terri’s heartfelt writing about post-traumatic growth and the impact our family has felt throughout the years of Ryan’s treatments. We can all show up and do our best one day at a time. Doing your best is what YOU must hold yourself accountable for – this is a personal matter and not subject to the judgment of others. Do your best, keep moving, and hold your head high.

November 4, 2004 – PBMT Donor Meetup – Olivia, Bill, Terri, and Ryan Tomoff
October 1996 – Ryan and Bill Tomoff at Georgetown Hospital
October 1996 – Ryan and Bill Tomoff at Georgetown Hospital – Dad heading home
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Cultivating Contentment: The Potential of Intentional Daily Reviews

Executive Summary – Collaboration with ChatGPT

On October 10, 2023, inspired by Sahil Bloom’s post, I began a five-minute daily reflection ritual, focusing on five aspects: Win, Gratitude, Stress or Tension, Helping Others/Shining the Light, and Activity/Personal Development. After 100 days, the practice remains a source of intentionality and personal alignment, offering clarity and a momentary escape from the digital frenzy.

Daily, I handwrite my reflections on an index card, cherishing the tactile process as a form of self-care. This habit, reminiscent of my morning meditations and inspired by the Stoicism encouragement to “put each day up for review,” encourages introspection and gratitude. Seneca’s wisdom on self-evaluation resonates deeply, prompting me to scrutinize my actions and thoughts, contributing to my ongoing quest for self-improvement.

Through this simple yet profound practice, I’ve realized the transformative power of pausing and pondering daily life. It’s a reminder of what truly matters, enabling me to confront life’s challenges with a grounded and grateful heart. I advocate this practice for anyone seeking fulfillment, urging them to start small and witness the profound impact of daily reflection.

Original Reflection

October 10, 2023. After reading a post by Sahil Bloom on social media, I began a daily reflection process of prioritizing five minutes to reflect on five aspects of my day. Sahil’s post highlighted three items, and I subsequently added two additional prompts to reflect upon.

Sahil’s original three were:

  • Win
  • Gratitude
  • Stress or Tension

My additions:

  • Help Others/Shine the Light
  • Activity/Personal Development

My goal with this exercise is to intentionally reflect and appreciate/inspire my daily approach to life. On January 17, 2024, I completed 100 consecutive days of reflection. I am unsure how long I will continue this process, but I feel the daily reflection brings me value by helping me be intentional about my perspective and how I want to bring myself to the world daily.

The daily reflections are handwritten on an index card. I deliberately chose to do this exercise manually vs. electronically. Sitting with my thoughts and handwriting my observations are my way of slowing down and creating a pause in my life – away from the distractions of the non-stop digital worlds we live in. The gift of the process is the daily reminder of the areas I want to prioritize and be certain to “sit with” for a few minutes to look at my day and ask, “How did I do today, and what highlights do I want to remember?” Writing my observations by hand creates a few moments of joy/contentment for me. The act itself is a gift I am giving to myself and is a small part of my self-care.

An aspect of my personal development that I wrote about in my blog post dated May 20, 2023, Dawn of Awareness: A Journey of Self-Discovery through Morning Meditations, is my love of morning quiet time, where I read several daily meditations that help me reflect and prepare for the upcoming day. The Daily Stoic Meditations is one of the books included in my process.

The Daily Stoic Meditation for January 22nd, The Day In Review, resonated with me. The encouragement is to prioritize time to evaluate our day and assess how we feel about our day’s performance. My approach with the index card is a mini-version of the daily stoic recommendation. While I reflect and write, my mind assesses the areas I have identified as a priority in my life. As noted in the Meditation:

“I will keep constant watch over myself and—most usefully—will put each day up for review. For this is what makes us evil—that none of us looks back upon our own lives. We reflect upon only that which we are about to do. And yet our plans for the future descend from the past.”

—Seneca, Moral Letters, 83.2

“Take time to consciously recall the events of the previous day. Be unflinching in your assessments. Notice what contributed to your happiness and what detracted from it. Write down what you’d like to work on or quotes that you like. By making the effort to record such thoughts, you’re less likely to forget them. An added bonus: you’ll have a running tally to track your progress too.”

Can a short process of assessing and journaling each day enhance your life? I encourage you to start small and try it! May you find contentment and fulfillment as you “put each day up for review.“

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Navigating New Horizons: Social Media to Communities of Practice

Executive Summary – Collaboration with ChatGPT

Since 2009, my twin, Don, and I have been captivated by the potential of social media, using it to foster our personal and professional growth and share insights through initiatives like #TwinzTalk and #TwinsTechTip. Our journey on these platforms laid the groundwork for a deeper exploration into specialized communities of practice (COPs), a transition inspired by Seth Godin’s 2020 blog on “A Community of Practice.”

My wife, Terri, and I embarked on a COP new venture, starting with a writing community group in 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic. These focused communities have been a wellspring of learning and growth and building new connections and knowledge beyond the broader platforms available through social media. Influential figures like Tanmay Vora, Rajesh Setty, and Harold Jarche have been instrumental in this journey, inspired by Tanmay’s work on leadership and learning, which deeply resonated with me.

This shift to more intimate COPs has been transformative, aligning with the principle “to whom much is given, much will be required” (Luke 12:48). It echoes the support and kindness my family experienced during my son Ryan’s cancer battles, a blessing I am committed to paying forward. The journey through COPs and virtual communities has been profound, reminding us of our responsibility to contribute and grow within these nurturing spaces and our broader network when possible. I embrace the requirement that my talents and gifts must be shared with my broader network – a network that is exponentially larger through the availability of social media and COPs.

“To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.” 

–Steve Prefontaine

Original Reflection

I have separately written about my appreciation of participating in Communities of Practice (COP). I am developing a blog post that takes a deeper dive into how my wife, Terri, and I have been encouraged and inspired through our involvement in various communities that started in June 2020.

My contemplation about my involvement in COPs lifts me up. I am grateful to many wonderfully talented, generous, and kind participants who have helped me learn and grow. The community’s participants care about developing their craft and helping others on their path. The environment is enriching.

Before joining a specific COP (Writing in Community was my initial participation), I felt a “looser,” yet similar, connection through many social media relationships that have developed over the years. I revisited a blog post from Tanmay Vora titled Leading and Learning: How to Feed a Community. Now, after my experience with specific COPs over the past 3+ years, Tanmay’s post resonates more clearly with me.

Tanmay Vora Sketchnote – Lisa Haneberg “How to feed the community.”

“To whom much is given, much will be required.” (Luke 12:48)

“The idea of “to whom much is given, much will be required” is that we are held responsible for what we have. If we are blessed with talents, wealth, knowledge, time, and the like, it is expected that we use these well to glorify God and benefit others.” [BOLD emphasis is mine]

I credit my first awareness of the above thought to Mr. Abe Pollin, the owner of Washington Sports & Entertainment, the organization I worked with from 1996 to 2011. Beyond wealth, we must help others with the other blessings we may receive – such as talents and knowledge. An additional blessing that I am committed to paying forward for the rest of my life is the gift of kindness and support that family, friends, community, and strangers have brought to my family’s lives through my son Ryan’s 27+ five-time battles with cancer. I am forever indebted and grateful for all the gifts in my life, and I will use those gifts to help others.

My twin Don and I love social media – we appreciated the professional potential early on, starting in 2009. Sharing a strong interest in technology and personal development, our careers have emphasized building awareness, skills, and learning across many areas that we then shared in our professional circles and on social media. We strive to enlighten others with the gifts our vision and early adopter tendencies have brought to our lives. In 2018 and 2020, we initiated #TwinzTalk and #TwinsTechTip, respectively, for sharing tips on LinkedIn.

Tanmay’s blog post inspired me to highlight his and his work’s impact on my life. Since our 2016 connection via Twitter, his talent, generosity, and kindness for helping others around leadership and conveying his learning into beautiful digestible sketchnotes have helped sharpen/refine my interest in personal development and my potential for helping others through my experiences and life learnings. Helping others learn and grow their talents is my gift and the purpose of my work. In Tanmay’s blog post, he notes:

“Lisa Haneberg, one of my favorite bloggers, wrote about how to feed a community where she said,

If we want to belong to a vibrant community we have to feed it.”

“It became quite clear to me that learning is a social act and we learn the most when we learn together.

In the communities that we choose to belong to (online and offline), we have to do our part in feeding it. It is only when we are generous about sharing our gifts that we build credibility to receive anything meaningful in return…”

Tanmay also mentions Rajesh Setty and his course offering “The Right Hustle,” along with Harold Jarche and his work about Personal Knowledge Mastery. I am connected to Rajesh and Harold and have learned much from them. My interest and action to follow are all thanks to Tanmay’s belief in their work. I am forever grateful and indebted. My responsibility is to pay forward their contributions by helping others in my network.

In May 2020, Seth Godin shared a blog, “A Community of Practice,” that led Terri and I to join a Community of Practice (a separate, more in-depth discussion of this to follow). In addition to the learning community that Don and I have developed via social media, Seth introduced the possibility of joining specific intimate communities that created the potential for greater connection among like-minded, kind, and generous people. Little did we know the magic that would unfold for us, beginning with our initial enrollment in a writing-in-community platform in June 2020! The pandemic and virtual communities of practice collided in 2020, and as Doctor Seuss would say:

“Oh, The Places You’ll Go! You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights!”

–Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

Who feeds your learning, and are you living up to your responsibility to do your part in feeding the community?

Terri and Bill Tomoff with book efforts in Writing In Community community of practice 2020-2021
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The Art of the Epitaph: Conveying a Lifetime in Ten Words or Less

Executive Summary (Assist to ChatGPT – modified)

As I reflect on the passing of Charlie Munger, I’m drawn to his humble suggestion for his epitaph, “I tried to be useful,” a sentiment that deeply resonates with my personal journey. His legacy, marked by wisdom and humility, inspires me to consider my life’s motto in ten words or less, “I did my best. I cared.” This phrase encapsulates my commitment to living with effort, compassion, and personal accountability, emphasizing that my actions are guided by intrinsic motivation rather than the pursuit of external validation. My recent four years of daily engagement with stoic meditations have profoundly influenced my perspective, teaching me the liberating truth that one’s value isn’t determined by universal acceptance but by the authenticity and kindness of one’s actions.

In my reflections, I’ve come to understand that it’s not about how others perceive my efforts but how I perceive them. I am inspired by the idea that while we can’t control others’ opinions, we do control our intentions and efforts. This understanding has been a guiding principle in my life, especially sharpened as I consider the legacy I wish to leave behind. With inspiration from Munger’s philosophy and my own stoicism efforts, I aim to live authentically, contribute meaningfully, and maintain inner peace by upholding my own standards and intentions, striving to make a difference in ways that inspire me, and focusing on acting with goodness and kindness without concern for external judgment.

Original Full Reflection

Charlie Munger, vice chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, passed away on November 28, 2023, at 99 years old. Warren Buffett “described Munger as his closest partner and right-hand man.” Due to my lifetime interest in personal finance and investing, I searched for more information about Munger upon learning of his passing.

A quote from Munger inspires this writing and my preliminary title for a book effort in 2024.

“I Did My Best. I Cared: Reflections on Experiences, Lessons Learned, and Heartfelt Tips to Live a Fulfilling Life.”

As Sahil Bloom shared on Twitter (X), Jason Zweig asked Munger “What he might want for an epitaph of no more than ten words. His reply was immediate and full of epistemic humility: “I tried to be useful.” Not “I was useful.” That would be for other people to judge. But “I tried.” That much he knew.”

Charlie Munger humbly answered, “I tried to be useful,” acknowledging that his intent and effort were under his control – not how others would judge him. His brief statement speaks volumes to his sincere desire to be the best-contributing human he was capable of, yet he was not going to guide his actions based on how he thought others might judge him. External judgment of his actions was not his business. I love his response and his perspective. Munger’s perspective is very stoic-like and reminded me of stoicism thoughts that have touched on this theme often.

The important part of my proposed book title is my personal response to Munger’s answer to a question from Zweig:

No more than ten words, yet this speaks from my heart about how I want to leave my life’s journey: “I Did My Best. I Cared.”

My intent and heart are dedicated to answering affirmatively when I question myself, “Have I done my best?” Not “Have I done my best in the eyes of others?” When we can go deep within ourselves and know that we have done our best, the feeling is liberating and provides peace with ourselves. I am measuring by my own standards and limitations. This is the measuring stick I strive to hold for myself, and I also strive to give grace to others by reminding myself that they are also doing their best – whatever that means for them. The best effort of others is not my place to judge.

Over the past four years, I have been reading The Daily Stoic Meditations daily, and I attribute the process to helping refine my thinking and behavior toward life. This is why Charlie’s epitaph suggestion, focused on what was within HIS control, resonated with me and prompted this reflection.

In the Daily Stoic email post, They’re Not All Going To Like You, we are encouraged to remember that “we are not for everyone, and we never will be.” It is liberating for us to reflect on and accept this fact and go forward with genuine intent to bring good and kindness to the world.

“In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius talks about how it’s easier to deal with stuff when you understand the percentages–that a certain number of certain types of people exist, for example, and you’re bound to bump into them eventually. Do you really think it’s possible for everyone to like you?

We didn’t do anything wrong. This isn’t bigotry or hatred. It’s just a mismatch. That actor whose face you don’t like…you have that same face for someone else. That person you roll your eyes at, you’re them to someone else. That show you change the channel to avoid, someone is doing that to your work right now.”

“You must accept that we’re not for everyone and we never will be. What matters is that we like ourselves, that we stand for what we like, and we leave those who this bothers alone.”

Inspired by my work with the Stoicism philosophy, Charlie Munger’s suggestion for his epitaph hit close to home for me. My heart is full as I consider the progress in my life – staying true to making a difference in the ways that inspire me and not seeking validation and affirmation from others. I did my best. I cared. Today, this sentiment feels perfect for me as I reflect on my life. How I am judged for my contributions is not my concern. I prefer to act with goodness and kindness and know I am making a meaningful impact. I know.

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The Unseen Power of ChatGPT in My Personal Growth and Writing

The work that Don and I do around the topic of Generative AI, and specifically ChatGPT Plus, has focused on the potential to improve individual performance. How can we all utilize ChatGPT to enhance performance and raise our contributions to our world and others?

  1. Accelerate – What We Do.
  2. Enable – What We Should Do.
  3. Allow – What We Can’t Do.

These areas are exciting to consider as we enhance our productivity (accelerate), creativity, and thoughts. As we individually improve our understanding of Generative AI and narrow the focus, ChatGPT Plus specifically, our ability to help others accelerates. Embrace this exciting potential.

Over the past 3+ years, I have written regularly and have built an extensive resource of reflections about many topics of interest to me. The process started on June 8, 2020, when Terri (writing The Focused Fight) and I joined Writing in Community, a six-month initiative to write a book. My initial project was to write a personal (unpublished) memoir/autobiography. What evolved for me was unimaginable – a love of regular writing, celebrating so many who have played a part in my and my family’s lives, and going in directions with my writing that has enriched my life tremendously.

What does this have to do with ChatGPT? Noting from above the highest level of individual possibility – Allow – What We Can’t Do – I used ChatGPT to summarize content for me. As an extension of my writing, gaining insight from ChatGPT ignited a new level of results that I confidently placed in the “What I can’t do” category!

My memoirs that I have completed since embarking on my writing adventure in 2020:

Published:

  • Chapter 32 of The Focused Fight – Heartfelt Reflections from Bill and Olivia.

Unpublished:

  1. Personal autobiography/memoir (December 2020) – Living Life…Off The Track.
  2. Memoir of daughter Olivia (December 2021) – Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer.
  3. Memoir of brother Alex (February 2023) – “Million Dollar Al” and Beyond.
  4. Memoir of twin brother Don (December 2023) – Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes.

On June 21, 2023, I shared a blog post using ChatGPT to recap chapter 19, The Postcard Project, of The Focused Fight. The results I received back were stunning and have inspired me to ask ChatGPT to provide summaries of my writing regularly. Using my writing, ChatGPT summarizes and articulates the meaning better than I could ever do myself! I have a new personal assistant to assist my writing efforts!

To be shared separately, I used ChatGPT to provide me a “Book Back Cover Blurb” in the document gifted to my brothers Alex and Don.

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Beyond the Present: The Transformative Skill of Anticipation

What are your superpowers? Consider appreciating and developing the power of anticipation. #TwinzTalk

In my recent morning reading, the August 25th post titled Cultivate the Third Eye in Robert Greene’s book The Daily Laws resonated with me.

In our personal development agenda, Don and I address anticipation as a superpower we have developed throughout our careers. Greene suggests that “reading the future” is a trait we can learn and develop. He notes:

“Most people are locked in the moment. They are prone to overreacting and panicking, to seeing only a narrow part of the reality facing the group. They cannot entertain alternative ideas or prioritize. Those who maintain their presence of mind and elevate their perspective above the moment tap into the visionary powers of the human mind and cultivate that third eye for unseen forces and trends. They stand out from the group and fulfill the true function of leadership.”

Prioritize time to contemplate your superpowers. Many superpowers are not inherited – they can be developed. Anticipation is powerful and well worth deliberately working towards. The payoff compounds – working and living with a proactive mindset vs. reacting to what the world throws at us – are incredibly valuable!

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From Fear to Action: Adopting a Low-Risk Approach to New Technologies

Summary of Blog Post Highlights (assist to ChatGPT)

After I have written about a topic of interest, I often enjoy prompting ChatGPT to provide a TL;DR summary and/or a recap of highlights. I have found ChatGPT often recaps my words and articulates my thoughts better than I can! The highlights of the full blog post:

  1. Stay Calm: Don’t succumb to the fear and hysteria often portrayed by mainstream media. Embrace change with a calm and open mind.
  2. Adopt a Possibility Mindset: Be optimistic about AI’s potential benefits. Rather than fearing the unknown, explore new technology’s possibilities.
  3. Limit Exposure to Alarmist Media: Alarmist narratives often overemphasize the risks of AI. Make an effort to seek balanced, well-researched information.
  4. Be Curious, Not Judgmental: Approach AI with curiosity and an eagerness to learn. Don’t dismiss it outright due to misconceptions or biases.
  5. Test Out Technology: Engage with AI in low-risk situations to gain firsthand experience. Ignoring AI might pose a higher risk in the long run.
  6. Leverage, Don’t Overly Rely on AI: While AI can be highly beneficial, don’t become too dependent on it. Strive for a balanced use of technology.
  7. Continuous Learning and Development: By remaining curious and open-minded, you can continually develop personally and professionally. AI offers an array of opportunities for learning and growth.
  8. Make Informed Decisions: By engaging with AI, you can make educated decisions about its utility. This will allow you to benefit from the technology while mitigating the potential risks of choosing to ignore the tools.
  9. Contribute Positively: A measured, intentional approach to AI can enable you to make significant contributions to society and improve your own life.

Full Blog Post

I recently read a blog post by Ted Lamade, published by Collaborative Fund, titled Fear of Acorns.

Starting with a story about the fable of Chicken Little, Lamade turns the focus to the modern-day introduction of AI and the fact that there is no shortage of fear that “the sky is falling” and that AI is leading us down a dangerous path. Is the fear warranted?

The fear is probably not warranted. Ask the TwinzTalk duo, and Don and I will enthusiastically share the incredible potential for good that we believe AI will bring to people who are calm, curious, and asking the question, “How can these AI tools be used to help?”

While AI is the “latest” technology, it is easy to find plenty of mainstream media coverage broadcasting the danger to our future lives; creating fear is a common quick reaction that scares people and supports a desire to stay with the status quo in their life. On an individual level, we must start by analyzing our responses and considering, “Am I taking a deliberate, thoughtful approach to my decisions, or am I part of the problem by taking a negative stand without doing any research on my own?”

Below, I will share thoughts from the article and tips that Don and I recommend as a more rational and thoughtful approach to assessing new technologies, including our approach to using ChatGPT AI.

“…an irrational amount of fear is a problem because it makes us susceptible to the “Foxy Loxy’s” of the world. Those who aim to leverage fear for personal gain. Those who sell advice, products, and services that feed into the fear. Those who want it to magnify it at every turn. The media is the obvious culprit, but there are countless others.”

“This past weekend alone, there were more than two dozen articles in the various papers I read highlighting the risks surrounding AI, how it is going to dismantle the American workforce, cause the wealth gap to widen even further, destabilize the economy, and even lead to nuclear holocaust.”

“For something that is so confusing and complicated, the answer is likely relatively simple. For industries less dependent on human behavior, AI will likely be a highly beneficial development. However, for those more dependent on us and our whims, caution is likely warranted.

This said, the majority of industries will unsurprisingly fall somewhere in the middle, which means they will be better off if they find a way to leverage but not rely too heavily on these new technologies.”

The article is thought-provoking and should encourage anyone to “take a deeper look” and study the possibilities of AI before dismissing the technology outright. The riskiest decision may be “I don’t need this,” and to proceed with your life’s routine. The approach that Don and I have used throughout our careers and are currently using around adopting ChatGPT and other AI technologies rapidly showing up in the world is:

  • Stay calm.
  • Carry a mindset of possibility. Be optimistic.
  • Do not watch or limit exposure to mainstream media, which brings alarmist news or the latest catastrophe to our living rooms.
  • Be curious and not judgemental. Ask yourself, “What might I be missing?” Read widely and study how tools are being used.
  • Choose to test out technology with the lowest risk proposition. Remember, choosing to ignore or do nothing may be an expensive choice in the longer run. By choosing low-risk ways to touch technology, you are gaining firsthand experience and are able to make a more educated decision for yourself as to whether to use it or not. By choosing low-risk, a mistake does not eliminate you from playing the game.

A calmer, optimistic mindset and a more intentional approach toward technology will open up a surprising world of possibilities to develop yourself personally and professionally. Be curious and chip away every day. You will develop yourself and become a more substantial contributor to your world and those who surround you!