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Unlocking the Keys to Long-Term Fulfillment and Happiness: Insights from Influential Authors – Part 2 of 3 | Defining Wealth and What is Enough?

In part 2 of 3 here, I share thought-provoking content from Morgan Housel and April Rinne, asking us to assess how we define wealth and what is our individual “enough” in terms of material consumerism.

Defining Wealth: Freedom in Control Of Our Time

In his book, The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel defines freedom as “The highest form of wealth is the ability to wake up every morning and say, “I can do whatever I want today.”

I agree with Morgan’s view that true wealth is not monetary (though we must be able to sustain our chosen life) accumulation of money, but rather the ability to know that we have the ability to CHOOSE where we prioritize our most precious asset in life – our time. “People want to control their lives.” In the chapter, he goes on to define freedom with a quote I need to frame:

“The ability to do what you want, when you want, with who you want, for as long as you want, is priceless. It is the highest dividend money pays.”

Most of us may agree that Morgan’s ideal here is a wonderful aspiration. Wonderful, but easily dismissed as unattainable? Let’s unpack this a bit – I will argue that setting this vision as your North Star is a dream that can guide many decisions as you build through your life. Am I saving for the future? What are my material needs, and how can I reduce them if necessary? What are my core priorities with this one life I have to live? Contemplating these questions brings us to the next book of inspiration, where April Rinne defines one superpower as “Know your enough.“

Know Your Enough (the trap of consumerism)

In April Rinne’s book Flux: 8 Superpowers for Thriving in Constant Change, she discusses eight “flux superpowers” that “empower people to see change in new ways, craft new responses, and ultimately reshape their relationship to change from the inside out.” Our world is in constant flux, and we must find a path to help us navigate these rapidly changing and tumultuous times. I highly recommend this book.

For this post, the focus will be directed to her flux superpower number 5, “Know your enough.” April references our relationship with consumerism and the too-often quest for more (and more) material consumption. Life fulfillment and happiness are not derived from owning stuff. She makes a compelling argument in her book, encouraging us to assess our relationship with “physical stuff.” Bold emphases are mine:

“This “cycle of more” and the script that powers it can be quick to take root and surprisingly difficult to let go. The truth is: no amount of physical stuff can ever replace your inner sense of worth, but it can easily bankrupt you (and harm the environment in the process). Yet the old script persuades you of the exact opposite. This is how today’s consumerism is designed: the goal of “more” can never be fully satisfied, which keeps you tethered to the hamster wheel, clicking on ads and buying things that never fully satisfy.

But hold on. This is a script. And it’s not a script that many people would opt into, if they actually paused and thought about it. Who wants to live for an unattainable goal set by others, that’s exhausting and expensive, and often brings more jealousy than joy?

The new script sees through the mirage of more and says, enough is enough.

With your Flux Mindset opened, you can begin to reset your metrics and write a new script. This shift—from an interminable quest for more to a clear understanding of your enough—is simple yet profound.

Knowing your enough does not mean being miserly, uncharitable, or living in scarcity. If that’s your reaction (or your fear), you’ve misunderstood this superpower entirely. Knowing your enough is in fact the opposite of these things: it gives you room for generosity and plenitude. (A great irony of this superpower is that in a world focused on more, you’ll never find enough. Yet in a world focused on enough, you’ll immediately find more.)

Knowing your enough brings clarity about what really matters. When you know your enough, you have less anxiety and your ability to thrive expands a lot. Honing this superpower unleashes your full potential to the world. Knowing your enough sees through the futility of comparison and empowers you to develop your own metrics of “enoughness” rooted in internal satisfaction, meaning, relationships, resilience, discovery, and helping others. Such metrics transcend a price tag. They don’t diminish the success of others: I am not “more” fulfilled than you, or vice versa, if we’re clear on our respective enoughs. To the contrary, we’re more capable of lifting one another up.”

The perspective shared by April is spot-on and worth doing internal soul-searching to clarify what is important to us individually. How we prioritize our use of time must be a process of deliberate daily work – are you making decisions that align with your life’s purpose and the presence you want to bring to the world?

James Clear 3-2-1 Thursday’s newsletter, dated April 11, 2024, highlights a common occurrence where we often take different jobs for more pay without consideration for the lifestyle implications:

“If you already live a comfortable life, then choosing to make more money but live a worse daily life is a bad trade.

And yet, we talk ourselves into it all the time. We take promotions that pay more, but swallow our free time. We already have a successful business, but we break ourselves trying to make it even more successful.

Too much focus on wealth, not enough focus on lifestyle.”

In the final part 3 of 3, we turn our attention to the presence we bring to the world. Our focus on personal development, using our skills to help others, and bringing a mindset of abundance to our lives where we know kindness and generosity to ourselves and others will be life-changing to our lives and those we interact with. A daily, no shortcuts lifestyle that changes everything in our lives. The potential cannot be overstated.

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Unlocking the Keys to Long-Term Fulfillment and Happiness: Insights from Influential Authors – Part 1 of 3 | Introduction

Part 1 of 3 (Introduction) | Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude AI

In my blog post, I explore tips and insights to enhance one’s possibility of long-term fulfillment, success, and happiness. I emphasize that using money and material possessions as a scorecard will not bring inner peace and contentment. Instead, I suggest reframing perspectives on freedom, addressing what “enough” means in life, and understanding the time trade-offs we make. I also highlight the importance of personal development, sharing one’s gifts with the world, and adopting an abundance mindset while being kind and generous.

I acknowledge that following these tips does not guarantee reaching one’s goals but can improve the odds of success. I emphasize focusing on what one can control, such as preparation, effort, and presence, while understanding that external events are beyond our control. I share a personal experience of financial concern during a family health crisis, which changed my lens of gratitude and appreciation.

In part 2 of my blog post, I plan to cover the following highlights:

  • Reframing the perspective on what “freedom” means, as explained by Morgan Housel in his book The Psychology of Money.
  • Addressing what “enough” means in life, as described by April Rinne in her book Flux: 8 Superpowers for Thriving in Constant Change.
  • Understanding time trade-offs that may not increase the quality of life, as discussed in James Clear’s 3-2-1 newsletter.
  • Being relentless in personal development and investing in oneself.
  • Bringing one’s gifts to the world and helping others develop and grow.
  • Adopting an abundance mindset, sharing kindness, and being generous with talents and resources, as explored in Adam Grant’s book Give and Take.

Part 1 of 3 (Introduction) | Full Original Writing

How might we enhance our possibility of long-term fulfillment, success, and happiness? Thanks to some of my favorite authors, here are some tips to contemplate and answer for your life. My personal experience is adopting a few of these into your daily life will change you and bring fulfillment quicker than you imagine!

Let’s get started! Using money and material possessions as your scorecard will not bring you the inner peace that leads to contentment and fulfillment. This is not to suggest that money is not important. We all have bills to pay, but being judicious with money and living beneath our means is often a choice and commitment that will compound to tremendous leverage in the future.

Tips expanded upon below include:

  • Reframe your perspective on what “freedom” means to you. Morgan Housel explains his definition of freedom in his book The Psychology of Money.
  • Relentlessly address what “enough” means in your life. In her book Flux: 8 Superpowers for Thriving in Constant Change, April Rinne describes one of the eight superpowers for embracing change as “know your enough” (not “you are enough” – but that statement is 100% true!).
  • James Clear’s 3-2-1 newsletter for April 11, 2024, reminds us to understand the time trade-offs we often may make that do not increase the quality of our lives.

On a shorter timeframe, understand that our choices and behavior in the everyday moments, compound over the long-term. With that in mind:

  • Be relentless in the area of personal development. Your own development is a gift you give to yourself. There are no shortcuts. Drip, drip, drip, invest in yourself.
  • Bring your gifts to the world. Help others develop and grow.
  • Carry a mindset of abundance, share kindness, and be generous with your talents and resources. Along these lines, Adam Grant’s Give and Take book is a must-read.

Please note my introduction asking, “How might we enhance our possibility of long-term fulfillment, success, and happiness?” I am not naive enough to suggest that the hard work of saving money, personal development, kindness, and generosity towards helping others is a guaranteed path to reaching our goals. As a friend in writing, Karena de Souza, suggests, we should strive to “tilt the future” to improve our odds of success. Adopting the tips in this post will improve the odds in your favor! Always understand we control our preparation, effort, and presence brought to the world. We can influence but do not control events external to our reasoned mind. A January 31, 2024, blog post by Tanmay Vora titled “Focus on Your Circle of Control.” beautifully illustrates this Stoicism concept.

Personally, I am a financial saver at heart. Perpetually working to provide a buffer for unexpected occurrences. We should always strive to anticipate and prepare, yet realize life may (or will eventually) have other plans. In Terri Tomoff’s memoir The Focused Fight, chapter 32, I reflect upon my concern about bankruptcy (2004) as our son Ryan was going to Duke University Medical Center for a bone marrow transplant to save his life as he fought acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL) for the third time in his young life. Thankfully, we survived financially intact, yet I will never forget the intense concern of those times. Moments like these are stark reminders of how little we control, and this changed my lens of gratitude and appreciation forever.

I wrote a blog post on December 29, 2023, titled The Art of the Epitaph: Conveying a Lifetime in Ten Words or Less, where I summarized my life’s effort into six words: “I Did My Best. I Cared.” In the end, each of us doing our best is all anyone can ask. My effort, caring, presence, and best are all I or anyone can ask for.

With this clarification, in part 2, I will dive deeper into the above-mentioned tips. Please check it out and enjoy the inspiration from Morgan Housel, April Rinne, James Clear, and Adam Grant!

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The Virtually No One Community: Embracing a Life with Less E-MAIL | Inspired by Luiz Suarez

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

In this blog post, Don and I champion eliminating email from one’s personal and professional life to reclaim precious time and improve productivity. My twin (#TwinzTalk) Don and I were inspired by Luis Suarez, who successfully gave up corporate email in 2008 while working at IBM. Luis argues that email is a broken model of communication and collaboration that consumes too much time and buries important information.

We suggest that individuals can enjoy several benefits by consciously reducing email usage and adopting alternative collaboration tools like Slack or Microsoft Teams, enabling increased transparency, reduced spam and phishing risks, and more time for learning, personal growth, and family. We recommend starting with a hybrid approach. For example, consider limiting email to two 15-minute sessions per day to gradually transition away from email dependency.

Our post references Suarez’s journey and insights shared in an openSAP podcast. Suarez emphasizes the importance of individual action in breaking the email chain, openly sharing knowledge, and admitting that email overuse is a problem. He also highlights the challenges of transitioning from closed to open communication and the potential for AI to eliminate mundane tasks.

Our blog post serves as a rallying cry for individuals to join the “virtually no-one community,” reclaim control of their time, and enhance productivity by reducing email usage. We believe that by embracing this mindset shift and finding better ways to collaborate, people can build more fulfilling lives and become more effective contributors in all aspects of their lives.

Full Original Writing – Reclaim Your Time by Going E-Mail-less

Don and I are on a continual quest to find smarter and better working methods. When we can “find a better way,” we are excited to try [primarily] technology tools that might help us move in ways that enhance our ability to contribute to our worlds and improve our ability to reclaim more of our most precious asset – the time in our lives. Since December 2022, much of our efforts have been dedicated to studying and working with the potential of GenAI and ChatGPT. Yet this topic, which we feel is one of the most compelling in our now 40+ year careers, is only one of a long string of adoptions that have provided us a disproportionate advantage in our careers and lives.

“There’s a way to do it better – find it.” -Thomas Edison

In 2016, we were introduced to the collaboration platform Slack. Don and I immediately recognized the potential to reduce EMAIL use and create transparency around documentation and conversations among colleagues. We were off and running, working with the platform and encouraging others to embrace the potential that we felt was compelling. In hindsight, our vision was correct. Slack and, later, Microsoft Teams have become ubiquitous in the working world. However, almost seven years later, EMAIL seems to be raging as the go-to communication tool for many people and businesses.

Don and I felt as though we were on an island with our tenacity to vastly eliminate the use of EMAIL in our lives. Being on “the road less traveled” was a common feeling we experienced while pursuing smarter and more effective ways of working and living. We grew to enjoy living in the long tail of technology adoption.

If almost anyone is asked, “Do you struggle with email and the time required to manage it?” most people would respond emphatically, “YES!” Yet, because we all are familiar with this standard in our businesses and lives, we accept the burden and time-suck imposed upon us. Accepting a known inconvenience that everyone else is managing lets us off the hook of needing to confront the challenge of changing how we work. Instead, often, we complain and keep marching forward with the status quo. Don and I run toward finding a better way. We like to acknowledge and embrace that we are members of the “Virtually No One Community.”

A community of practice that I participate in is Harold Jarche’s Perpetual Beta Coffee Club (PBCC). A member of that community, Luis Suarez, posted on LinkedIn on February 15, 2024, that he was celebrating his 16-year anniversary of “surviving corporate life without using email!” What a radical (inspiring to the Twinz) thought and initiative to embark upon in 2008. We proudly count Luis as a member of our “virtually no-one community!”

Why is the elimination of email such a big deal? The number one encouragement we implore is, “You reclaim time in your life to dedicate yourself to matters of greater importance – higher quality work time for learning and growing, and most importantly, time in your personal life for your family and other priorities.” Being a more effective, efficient, and contributing person across all aspects of life is compelling. Who does not want to be a more optimal performer?

In this podcast episode, openSAP Podcasts – Education NewsCast – Episode 277, “Insights on NoEmail and distributed, remote work with Luis Suarez,” Luis talks with Thomas Jenewein about his decision to choose to eliminate the use of email in his corporate life. If you think, “My company is too big, and this would not be possible in my case, Luiz made his decision when he was working with IBM!“

Indeed, there is a better way, and Luiz shares his insights on making #NoEmail a reality in your world. At 23:00 minutes, Luiz shares his thoughts about starting with a hybrid solution to reducing email. This is the solution that Don and I embraced starting in 2016. Currently, I prioritize two 15-minute daily periods to review and clear email. My goal is to be intentional with my email review and not exceed 30 minutes per day. In addition to reclaiming precious time in our days (mentioned above), a few additional compelling benefits for us include:

  1. Using a collaboration tool (i.e., Slack or MS Teams), sharing and transparency “for all to see” enhances access, and information is not buried in email.
  2. EMAIL spam and phishing risks are eliminated.
  3. Time saved from email management is available for prioritizing more important personal or professional matters, such as learning, development, and personal growth.

On February 15 and 18, 2008, Luiz shared blog posts about his decision to eliminate email. It was a courageous move that the mainstream world thought ludicrous. One reaction to his announcement was, “You will be fired within two weeks.”

I highly encourage listening to the full podcast discussion. Luiz stood up and said, “Enough” to the challenge that email brings to so many of us. May this post and his emphasis throughout the podcast inspire you to take action and reclaim your precious time! As Don and I did, starting in earnest in 2016, we adopted a conscious mindset to reduce and control the use of email. A hybrid approach has worked for us and changed our lives – personally and professionally!

Below are several timestamps in the podcast that were notable in my listening, but please listen to the full podcast!

  1. 3:00 – Why no email?
  2. 4:15 – Email is a broken model of communication and collaboration.
  3. 5:45 – Two different kinds of reactions. First, “You will be fired within two weeks.” Note – Luis was employed with IBM when he implemented his decision. He was NOT fired within two weeks.
  4. 8:10 – Now, in 2024, receive EIGHT emails per week. EIGHT!
  5. 9:10 – Myth of Inbox Zero.
  6. 9:40 – If you really want to reduce email, YOU, you, the individual, need to stop using email first. Break the chain.
  7. 10:20 – Why am I doing it?
  8. 13:30 – Study how you use email (to begin the process of elimination – small steps).
  9. 16:00 – Openness and transparency using different tools.
  10. 17:00 – My knowledge is not my knowledge. It’s everyone’s knowledge.
  11. 18:00 – Hoarding knowledge in email. Why?
  12. 19:50 – YOU are much more powerful if you share your knowledge with others.
  13. 20:35 – Reduce unnecessary workloads. Ask why, why…
  14. 23:00 – Hybrid solution – less email and use other tools allowing transparency. This is a great starting point.
  15. 26:20 – In your email inbox, you cannot scale…
  16. 31:45 – Change is hard…
  17. 37:10 – The transition from closed to open is a very challenging shift to make. Everyone wants to be an expert.
  18. 39:15 – Hiding in your inbox is not going to take you anywhere.
  19. 41:30 – Start with admitting, “I do have a problem.”
  20. 42:00 – GenAI helps get rid of mundane tasks. Why not eliminate mundane tasks? Hard stop. There is no need for AI in this case!
  21. 45:20 – We need to take back control of how we do work.

Join the movement and build a more productive and fulfilling life for yourself. Thank you, Luiz, for taking your position in 2008 and living true to your mission. You have inspired the twinz and shown the world what is possible. There is a better way – and you have found it!

Bonus – please read the following media coverage of Luis’s initiative to eliminate EMAIL:

I Freed Myself From E-Mail’s Grip – New York Times June 29, 2008

IBM Gives Birth to Amazing E-Mail-less Man – WIRED January 16, 2012

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#TwinzTalk Life Advice and Lessons Learned

On December 3, 2023, I gifted my twin brother Don my unpublished memoir Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes. The book led with advice and life lessons we have learned through our careers in business and working closely with each other – as only a twin could do. Directly from the book, I share the following:

Book Back Cover Blurb

In collaboration with ChatGPT, the back cover blurb for the book sets the context of the gift I have received by the good fortune to share my life with a twin brother:

In his reflections, author Bill Tomoff delves into the profound bond he shares with his twin brother Don. Beginning their journey together in 1958, Bill and Don have navigated the complexities of life, intertwining their personal and professional paths in an extraordinary dance of support, competition, and growth.

This book is a heartfelt tribute to a relationship that exemplifies resilience and mutual inspiration. Through anecdotes from their childhood to their careers in accounting and technology, Bill paints a vivid portrait of a life enriched by Don’s presence. Their story is one of shared trials and triumphs, a testament to the unique connection between twins and the strength of having a constant ally.

Bill’s reflections are a chronicle of twinhood and a celebration of gratitude. He credits Don’s influence for much of his personal and professional development, underscoring the importance of support systems in achieving success. This book is a compelling narrative of two lives beautifully interwoven, a journey of learning, adaptation, and relentless pursuit of excellence, made possible by the unwavering bond between twin brothers.

Advice and Life Lessons Learned from the Twinz

Throughout our lives and careers, Don and I are grateful to have learned many lessons that have helped guide our approach to our worlds. We hope some of the points noted below will resonate with you and help you “level up” and achieve greater fulfillment and success.

A great joy in our lives is when we can share and help others through our own life experiences. If any of these tips resonate with you, please share them in your world!

  1. Do your best: Your best is all anyone can ask.
  2. Play the infinite game: Be aware of the game you are playing.
  3. “Don’t let work get in the way of progress.” – Don Tomoff
  4. “Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.” – Bill Tomoff
  5. Help others: In every interaction, think “help this person.” – inspiration from Bruce Kasanoff
  6. Invest in yourself: Your time and resources. Prioritize personal development.
  7. Read. Read: “Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” – Harry S. Truman.
  8. You will fail: You will make mistakes. Learn from these moments.
  9. Learn from other people’s mistakes. Charlie Munger’s encouragement.
  10. Be humble and carry a beginner’s (always learning) mindset.
  11. Live a life of kindness and gratitude and express appreciation to others.
  12. Send handwritten thank you notes: Expressing appreciation for family, friends, colleagues, customers, and others who help your journey through life is a superpower.
  13. Generously share your knowledge and skills.
  14. Live with an abundance mindset – not a scarcity (win-lose) mindset. There is room for everyone to win.
  15. Embrace a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset.
  16. Do not gossip, judge others, or share unwanted opinions.
  17. Lead by example.
  18. Change yourself to change others.
  19. People need people: Remember the African proverb – “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.“
  20. Embrace a morning routine of quiet time for reading and contemplation.
  21. Be humble, be curious, and not judgemental – always be learning.
  22. Understand the strength in these three words: “I don’t know.”
  23. In your actions and daily life – “leave it better than you found it.” For example – see Bill Tomoff’s departing note to colleagues at the Cleveland Cavaliers in 2014.
  24. Take what you do seriously. Do not take yourself seriously.
  25. Care – about doing your best, helping others, personal development, doing good, and being kind to yourself and others in your world.
  26. Work to deserve respect, trust, success, etc. – while we do not control external factors, we CAN live to enhance our lives and deserve the desired outcome.
  27. Participate in Communities of Practice. Bill Tomoff’s blog “Navigating New Horizons: Social Media to Communities of Practice.”
  28. To be continued (the learning and growth never stops…)
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Discovering Myself Through Memoir: A Journey of Self-Reflection and Gratitude

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

In this introspective blog post, I reflect on the concept of one’s “body of work” – the unique collection of experiences, talents, and contributions that make up an individual’s life story. Inspired by the writings of Steven Pressfield and Seth Godin, who emphasize that we are all artists in our own lives, I encourage readers to recognize and embrace their personal growth, leadership, and positive impact on others as their own form of art.

I share my own journey of self-discovery, which began in June 2020 when I joined a writing community with my wife, Terri. Through daily writing, I gained clarity of thought and a deeper appreciation for the power of the written word. This led to the creation of four unpublished memoirs, each focusing on a different aspect of my life: my personal story, my daughter’s soccer career, my older brother’s profound impact, and my shared experiences with my twin brother.

My work encompasses various meaningful areas that have shaped my identity and the value I strive to bring to the world. These include my experiences as a competitive distance runner, my academic and professional achievements, my role as a family man and caregiver to my son (a five-time cancer survivor), my love of sports, my involvement in soccer and refereeing, my advocacy for childhood cancer, personal development, and kindness, as well as my engagement in social media and communities of practice.

I conclude the blog post with an invitation to readers to contemplate their own life experiences and recognize the unique talents and nuances that make up their individual stories. I encourage everyone to embrace their personal body of work and continue refining it throughout their lives, joining me on this shared adventure of self-discovery and growth.

Full Original Writing – Introduction to My Body of Work

What is your story? Everyone has a story… and we all develop a body of work that builds as we find our path through life. Our body of work grows and our life perspective and wisdom is the gift of our work. We all are artists creating our own unique art that cannot be replicated by another human.

“One of the major responsibilities of a person is to make that intellectual spark which you have received from heaven illuminate the world around you.”

—Chinese Wisdom

The opportunity I am embracing here is to share my interpretation of my body of work through my personal lens. This writing is inspired by reading The Daily Pressfield by Steven Pressfield and The Icarus Deception by Seth Godin. Steven and Seth emphasize that we all can be/are artists in our lives. I love this – we just need to recognize how we grow, lead, contribute, and help others, is our art, if we care enough to put our heart and soul into the work of being our best every day.

As you read the rest of this introduction, I encourage you to contemplate, “What is my body of work that is the art creating my life story?”

My life has evolved from being a fiercely independent, accomplishment-driven young man to a family man led by my life experiences to building and developing my talents so I can maximize helping others and leaving the world a better place for having been alive.

My adventure into deeper self-introspection started in June 2020 when I joined my wife, Terri, in a writing community. Over the past [almost] four years, we have grown to love the daily process of writing, the clarity the writing brings to our thoughts, and an appreciation of the gift of writing and the community of kind and caring people participating with us.

My efforts have resulted in four unpublished memoirs that I have completed. I have gained tremendous enjoyment from writing these memoirs and fulfillment knowing the thoughts, appreciation, and memories I ultimately leave for my family. The four memoirs have now made it possible to think about and more clearly articulate my body of work through the blessing of my 65-plus years of life,

The four unpublished memoirs completed, and one in process, include:

  1. December 2020 – Living Life…Off The Track. My personal memoir.
  2. December 2021 – Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer. My memoir of our daughter Olivia’s 15-year soccer career.
  3. January 2023 – “Million Dollar Al” and Beyond. My memoir of my older brother Alex and his profound impact on my life.
  4. December 2023 – Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes. My memoir of my twin brother Don and our shared adventure in life.
  5. TBD (in-process) 2024 – I Did My Best. I Cared: Reflections on Experiences, Lessons Learned, and Heartfelt Tips to Live a Fulfilling Life.

As I write at this point in time, the meaningful areas of my body of work are many. I hold each of these close to my heart. They have shaped who I am and the value I strive to bring to the world every day. The areas include:

  1. Competitive distance runner
  2. College academics
  3. Career
  4. Family
  5. Caregiver, with Terri, for our five-time cancer survivor son Ryan.
  6. Post-Traumatic Growth
  7. Love of sports shared with family
  8. Soccer and soccer referee
  9. Advocate for childhood cancer
  10. Advocate for personal development
  11. Advocate for kindness
  12. Social Media 2010 and forward
  13. #TwinzTalk cofounder 2018
  14. Philosophy of Stoicism since 2019
  15. Communities of practice

What is your story? Contemplating your life experiences, you may realize, as I have, that there are many nuances to every person’s life. We are all unique and have talents within us that no one else owns. Embrace yours and continue refining your body of work for the rest of your life! Join me on this adventure.

Follow my writing as I expand in greater depth to highlight each area of my body of work. Thank you for reading!

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ChatGPT Lite Part 1 of 6 – How to Get Started: Introduction

Introducing ChatGPT Lite

Since the introduction of ChatGPT in December 2022, #TwinzTalk Don Tomoff and I have prioritized learning and working with OpenAI’s ChatGPT and other LLMs, such as Anthropic’s Claude AI.

In the work that Don and I do, we continually challenge ourselves to “narrow the path” and present actionable information that encourages others to invest in their learning and identify ways to leverage technology to benefit their lives personally and professionally. In this regard, Generative AI and specifically the ChatGPT Plus LLM have become the most urgent focus for everyone. The advancements in these technologies are going to continue and accelerate. This document is focused on an introduction to getting started with ChatGPT adoption. We are referring to this as “ChatGPT Lite.”

Topics to be covered include:

  • Description of Generative AI (GenAI) and how ChatGPT fits into the framework of GenAI.
  • Steps to getting started with ChatGPT.
  • High-level concepts to understand.
  • Resources for learning – influencers and online learning courses.
  • Sample of use cases to inspire your creativity for personal use.

Before diving into the topics, in our interest of narrowing the path, we consider the following steps essential:

  1. Establish a ChatGPT account through the OpenAI website.
  2. Enroll in ChatGPT Plus. This cost is currently $20 per month, and we emphasize that this must be considered a non-negotiable personal investment for every individual.
  3. Commit to being curious and learning daily. Drip, drip, drip, the learning compounds by dedicating and investing personal time.
  4. Understand that adoption of ChatGPT Plus is an individual decision and NOT subject to the approval of an employer. The opportunities to expose yourself and learn with this technology can be done personally without crossing the boundaries of professional roles possibly involving an employer’s intellectual property.

With this overview introduction completed, please follow along as we delve into the specific topics detailed above!

Parts 2 through 6 of this ChatGPT Lite series of blog posts can be accessed through the links below:

  1. Part 1 of 6 (Introduction) can be found here. 
  2. Part 2 of 6 (Description of GenAI framework and ChatGPT “fit”) can be found here. 
  3. Part 3 of 6 (Steps to Getting Started) can be found here. 
  4. Part 4 of 6 (High-Level Concepts to Understand) can be found here.
  5. Part 5 of 6 (Resources for Learning: Influencers and Online Learning courses) can be found here.
  6. Part 6 of 6 (Sample Use Cases to Inspire Your Creativity for Personal Use) can be found here.
#TwinzTalk – Let’s Connect the Dots…
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Navigating New Horizons: Social Media to Communities of Practice

Executive Summary – Collaboration with ChatGPT

Since 2009, my twin, Don, and I have been captivated by the potential of social media, using it to foster our personal and professional growth and share insights through initiatives like #TwinzTalk and #TwinsTechTip. Our journey on these platforms laid the groundwork for a deeper exploration into specialized communities of practice (COPs), a transition inspired by Seth Godin’s 2020 blog on “A Community of Practice.”

My wife, Terri, and I embarked on a COP new venture, starting with a writing community group in 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic. These focused communities have been a wellspring of learning and growth and building new connections and knowledge beyond the broader platforms available through social media. Influential figures like Tanmay Vora, Rajesh Setty, and Harold Jarche have been instrumental in this journey, inspired by Tanmay’s work on leadership and learning, which deeply resonated with me.

This shift to more intimate COPs has been transformative, aligning with the principle “to whom much is given, much will be required” (Luke 12:48). It echoes the support and kindness my family experienced during my son Ryan’s cancer battles, a blessing I am committed to paying forward. The journey through COPs and virtual communities has been profound, reminding us of our responsibility to contribute and grow within these nurturing spaces and our broader network when possible. I embrace the requirement that my talents and gifts must be shared with my broader network – a network that is exponentially larger through the availability of social media and COPs.

“To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.” 

–Steve Prefontaine

Original Reflection

I have separately written about my appreciation of participating in Communities of Practice (COP). I am developing a blog post that takes a deeper dive into how my wife, Terri, and I have been encouraged and inspired through our involvement in various communities that started in June 2020.

My contemplation about my involvement in COPs lifts me up. I am grateful to many wonderfully talented, generous, and kind participants who have helped me learn and grow. The community’s participants care about developing their craft and helping others on their path. The environment is enriching.

Before joining a specific COP (Writing in Community was my initial participation), I felt a “looser,” yet similar, connection through many social media relationships that have developed over the years. I revisited a blog post from Tanmay Vora titled Leading and Learning: How to Feed a Community. Now, after my experience with specific COPs over the past 3+ years, Tanmay’s post resonates more clearly with me.

Tanmay Vora Sketchnote – Lisa Haneberg “How to feed the community.”

“To whom much is given, much will be required.” (Luke 12:48)

“The idea of “to whom much is given, much will be required” is that we are held responsible for what we have. If we are blessed with talents, wealth, knowledge, time, and the like, it is expected that we use these well to glorify God and benefit others.” [BOLD emphasis is mine]

I credit my first awareness of the above thought to Mr. Abe Pollin, the owner of Washington Sports & Entertainment, the organization I worked with from 1996 to 2011. Beyond wealth, we must help others with the other blessings we may receive – such as talents and knowledge. An additional blessing that I am committed to paying forward for the rest of my life is the gift of kindness and support that family, friends, community, and strangers have brought to my family’s lives through my son Ryan’s 27+ five-time battles with cancer. I am forever indebted and grateful for all the gifts in my life, and I will use those gifts to help others.

My twin Don and I love social media – we appreciated the professional potential early on, starting in 2009. Sharing a strong interest in technology and personal development, our careers have emphasized building awareness, skills, and learning across many areas that we then shared in our professional circles and on social media. We strive to enlighten others with the gifts our vision and early adopter tendencies have brought to our lives. In 2018 and 2020, we initiated #TwinzTalk and #TwinsTechTip, respectively, for sharing tips on LinkedIn.

Tanmay’s blog post inspired me to highlight his and his work’s impact on my life. Since our 2016 connection via Twitter, his talent, generosity, and kindness for helping others around leadership and conveying his learning into beautiful digestible sketchnotes have helped sharpen/refine my interest in personal development and my potential for helping others through my experiences and life learnings. Helping others learn and grow their talents is my gift and the purpose of my work. In Tanmay’s blog post, he notes:

“Lisa Haneberg, one of my favorite bloggers, wrote about how to feed a community where she said,

If we want to belong to a vibrant community we have to feed it.”

“It became quite clear to me that learning is a social act and we learn the most when we learn together.

In the communities that we choose to belong to (online and offline), we have to do our part in feeding it. It is only when we are generous about sharing our gifts that we build credibility to receive anything meaningful in return…”

Tanmay also mentions Rajesh Setty and his course offering “The Right Hustle,” along with Harold Jarche and his work about Personal Knowledge Mastery. I am connected to Rajesh and Harold and have learned much from them. My interest and action to follow are all thanks to Tanmay’s belief in their work. I am forever grateful and indebted. My responsibility is to pay forward their contributions by helping others in my network.

In May 2020, Seth Godin shared a blog, “A Community of Practice,” that led Terri and I to join a Community of Practice (a separate, more in-depth discussion of this to follow). In addition to the learning community that Don and I have developed via social media, Seth introduced the possibility of joining specific intimate communities that created the potential for greater connection among like-minded, kind, and generous people. Little did we know the magic that would unfold for us, beginning with our initial enrollment in a writing-in-community platform in June 2020! The pandemic and virtual communities of practice collided in 2020, and as Doctor Seuss would say:

“Oh, The Places You’ll Go! You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights!”

–Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

Who feeds your learning, and are you living up to your responsibility to do your part in feeding the community?

Terri and Bill Tomoff with book efforts in Writing In Community community of practice 2020-2021
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The Unseen Power of ChatGPT in My Personal Growth and Writing

The work that Don and I do around the topic of Generative AI, and specifically ChatGPT Plus, has focused on the potential to improve individual performance. How can we all utilize ChatGPT to enhance performance and raise our contributions to our world and others?

  1. Accelerate – What We Do.
  2. Enable – What We Should Do.
  3. Allow – What We Can’t Do.

These areas are exciting to consider as we enhance our productivity (accelerate), creativity, and thoughts. As we individually improve our understanding of Generative AI and narrow the focus, ChatGPT Plus specifically, our ability to help others accelerates. Embrace this exciting potential.

Over the past 3+ years, I have written regularly and have built an extensive resource of reflections about many topics of interest to me. The process started on June 8, 2020, when Terri (writing The Focused Fight) and I joined Writing in Community, a six-month initiative to write a book. My initial project was to write a personal (unpublished) memoir/autobiography. What evolved for me was unimaginable – a love of regular writing, celebrating so many who have played a part in my and my family’s lives, and going in directions with my writing that has enriched my life tremendously.

What does this have to do with ChatGPT? Noting from above the highest level of individual possibility – Allow – What We Can’t Do – I used ChatGPT to summarize content for me. As an extension of my writing, gaining insight from ChatGPT ignited a new level of results that I confidently placed in the “What I can’t do” category!

My memoirs that I have completed since embarking on my writing adventure in 2020:

Published:

  • Chapter 32 of The Focused Fight – Heartfelt Reflections from Bill and Olivia.

Unpublished:

  1. Personal autobiography/memoir (December 2020) – Living Life…Off The Track.
  2. Memoir of daughter Olivia (December 2021) – Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer.
  3. Memoir of brother Alex (February 2023) – “Million Dollar Al” and Beyond.
  4. Memoir of twin brother Don (December 2023) – Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes.

On June 21, 2023, I shared a blog post using ChatGPT to recap chapter 19, The Postcard Project, of The Focused Fight. The results I received back were stunning and have inspired me to ask ChatGPT to provide summaries of my writing regularly. Using my writing, ChatGPT summarizes and articulates the meaning better than I could ever do myself! I have a new personal assistant to assist my writing efforts!

To be shared separately, I used ChatGPT to provide me a “Book Back Cover Blurb” in the document gifted to my brothers Alex and Don.

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From Fear to Action: Adopting a Low-Risk Approach to New Technologies

Summary of Blog Post Highlights (assist to ChatGPT)

After I have written about a topic of interest, I often enjoy prompting ChatGPT to provide a TL;DR summary and/or a recap of highlights. I have found ChatGPT often recaps my words and articulates my thoughts better than I can! The highlights of the full blog post:

  1. Stay Calm: Don’t succumb to the fear and hysteria often portrayed by mainstream media. Embrace change with a calm and open mind.
  2. Adopt a Possibility Mindset: Be optimistic about AI’s potential benefits. Rather than fearing the unknown, explore new technology’s possibilities.
  3. Limit Exposure to Alarmist Media: Alarmist narratives often overemphasize the risks of AI. Make an effort to seek balanced, well-researched information.
  4. Be Curious, Not Judgmental: Approach AI with curiosity and an eagerness to learn. Don’t dismiss it outright due to misconceptions or biases.
  5. Test Out Technology: Engage with AI in low-risk situations to gain firsthand experience. Ignoring AI might pose a higher risk in the long run.
  6. Leverage, Don’t Overly Rely on AI: While AI can be highly beneficial, don’t become too dependent on it. Strive for a balanced use of technology.
  7. Continuous Learning and Development: By remaining curious and open-minded, you can continually develop personally and professionally. AI offers an array of opportunities for learning and growth.
  8. Make Informed Decisions: By engaging with AI, you can make educated decisions about its utility. This will allow you to benefit from the technology while mitigating the potential risks of choosing to ignore the tools.
  9. Contribute Positively: A measured, intentional approach to AI can enable you to make significant contributions to society and improve your own life.

Full Blog Post

I recently read a blog post by Ted Lamade, published by Collaborative Fund, titled Fear of Acorns.

Starting with a story about the fable of Chicken Little, Lamade turns the focus to the modern-day introduction of AI and the fact that there is no shortage of fear that “the sky is falling” and that AI is leading us down a dangerous path. Is the fear warranted?

The fear is probably not warranted. Ask the TwinzTalk duo, and Don and I will enthusiastically share the incredible potential for good that we believe AI will bring to people who are calm, curious, and asking the question, “How can these AI tools be used to help?”

While AI is the “latest” technology, it is easy to find plenty of mainstream media coverage broadcasting the danger to our future lives; creating fear is a common quick reaction that scares people and supports a desire to stay with the status quo in their life. On an individual level, we must start by analyzing our responses and considering, “Am I taking a deliberate, thoughtful approach to my decisions, or am I part of the problem by taking a negative stand without doing any research on my own?”

Below, I will share thoughts from the article and tips that Don and I recommend as a more rational and thoughtful approach to assessing new technologies, including our approach to using ChatGPT AI.

“…an irrational amount of fear is a problem because it makes us susceptible to the “Foxy Loxy’s” of the world. Those who aim to leverage fear for personal gain. Those who sell advice, products, and services that feed into the fear. Those who want it to magnify it at every turn. The media is the obvious culprit, but there are countless others.”

“This past weekend alone, there were more than two dozen articles in the various papers I read highlighting the risks surrounding AI, how it is going to dismantle the American workforce, cause the wealth gap to widen even further, destabilize the economy, and even lead to nuclear holocaust.”

“For something that is so confusing and complicated, the answer is likely relatively simple. For industries less dependent on human behavior, AI will likely be a highly beneficial development. However, for those more dependent on us and our whims, caution is likely warranted.

This said, the majority of industries will unsurprisingly fall somewhere in the middle, which means they will be better off if they find a way to leverage but not rely too heavily on these new technologies.”

The article is thought-provoking and should encourage anyone to “take a deeper look” and study the possibilities of AI before dismissing the technology outright. The riskiest decision may be “I don’t need this,” and to proceed with your life’s routine. The approach that Don and I have used throughout our careers and are currently using around adopting ChatGPT and other AI technologies rapidly showing up in the world is:

  • Stay calm.
  • Carry a mindset of possibility. Be optimistic.
  • Do not watch or limit exposure to mainstream media, which brings alarmist news or the latest catastrophe to our living rooms.
  • Be curious and not judgemental. Ask yourself, “What might I be missing?” Read widely and study how tools are being used.
  • Choose to test out technology with the lowest risk proposition. Remember, choosing to ignore or do nothing may be an expensive choice in the longer run. By choosing low-risk ways to touch technology, you are gaining firsthand experience and are able to make a more educated decision for yourself as to whether to use it or not. By choosing low-risk, a mistake does not eliminate you from playing the game.

A calmer, optimistic mindset and a more intentional approach toward technology will open up a surprising world of possibilities to develop yourself personally and professionally. Be curious and chip away every day. You will develop yourself and become a more substantial contributor to your world and those who surround you!

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Dawn of Awareness: A Journey of Self-Discovery through Morning Meditations

Executive Summary

In my full post below, I emphasize the importance of a dedicated morning routine spent reading and reflecting on a variety of daily meditation books. Beginning the day with 30 to 45 minutes of reading without electronic distractions has become integral to my lifestyle.

My morning reading includes:

  1. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations,
  2. The Daily Laws,
  3. The Book of Awakening,
  4. The Daily Dad,
  5. The Course in Miracles Experiment,
  6. A Calendar of Wisdom, and
  7. Thriving as an Empath.

I also include Seth Godin’s daily blog and James Clear’s weekly newsletter. These readings provide a rich source of perspective and encouragement, aiding self-awareness and regularly challenging my preconceived thoughts. Although some concepts are difficult for me to embrace, the overall value derived from each book is life-enhancing. I encourage you to consider developing your own morning reading routine. Invest in yourself!

Full Blog Post

My morning reading is a treasured aspect of my day. The process of intentionally reading a mediation each morning began with The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on January 1, 2020. The encouragement of the stoic philosophy has resonated with me and my journey with Stoicism has grown more extensive. I have written a full separate reflection on “Why Stoicism?“

Reading a short meditation each morning has expanded to several books and other readings I work through daily. My process is about the first 30 to 45 minutes each morning – quiet time with my coffee and no phone or other electronic devices.

My morning routine now includes the following:

  • The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have by Mark Nepo
    • Started on February 26, 2023.
    • I discovered Mark Nepo when I came upon and read his September 2022 book Surviving Storms: Finding the Strength to Meet Adversity.
    • The Book of Awakening is a New York Times bestseller – Mark Nepo has been called “one of the finest spiritual guides of our time” and “a consummate storyteller.”
  • The Course in Miracles Experiment: A Starter Kit for Rewiring Your Mind by Pam Grout
    • It started on August 2, 2021.
    • Gift from Terri Tomoff in April 2021 – two months after her uterine cancer surgery. I hold this book of meditations with special gratitude.
    • The book is a rewrite of the A Course in Miracles Workbook – Pam Grout’s book back cover describes her book’s purpose: “Pam Grout to the rescue! Her book is for all those still struggling with the Course. Grout offers a modern-day rewrite of the 365-lesson workbook – the text at the heart of the Course. Unlike the original, it’s user-friendly, accessible, and easy for everyone to understand.”
  • Seth Godin’s Daily Blog
    • Started in 2010.
    • Who is Seth Godin? (Seth inspires me daily, and he has changed my perspective on life)

My list may seem ambitious to start each day, but the meditations are short and digestible. My morning routine helps me reach a frame of mind to go out and make a difference in my day.

I have grown to love the process of reading a short meditation by many different authors. My mission is to touch and absorb perspectives and encouragement that may help my thought process about how I perceive and approach my life. Awareness is key and touching topics that challenge my established thinking. My mission is to be aware and apply the topics to my life – many meditations have me cheering, while others trigger me to think, “I cannot get myself there.” Examples – the Stoicism concepts Amor Fati and Momento Mori are important to be aware of, yet living the concepts will be nonstop work for the rest of my life. The Daily Stoic Meditations are one example – the other books present similar challenges. However, on the whole perspective, the value I gain from each book is wonderful.

My intent with these meditation books to reread each year and keep them in my “rotation.” The time commitment each morning is negligible compared to the compelling value I receive. In Ryan Holidays’ introduction to The Daily Dad, he encourages reading meditations over each year:

“My book The Daily Stoic is now well into the second half of its first decade. With more than a million copies in print in forty languages, there are people who have read it every day for years [Bill T comment – into my 4th year of reading daily]. Even though the book is the same as it was when I submitted it to the publisher in the fall of 2015, it continues to connect with and be of service to people all over the world. There’s a Stoic observation about how we never step into the same river twice, for both we and the river are in a constant state of change.”

“On a minute-by-minute basis, your kids and life put you in situations you could never have imagined on your own (and that none of the books seem to anticipate). So while there is no sudden transformation in parenting, there is still a process, a working at it, that you must take up. That’s what this book—one page per day—is built around. Not a one-time thing but a morning or an evening ritual, a checking in, a continual process.

We will fall short. We will lose our tempers, get distracted, prioritize the wrong things, even hurt ourselves and the people we love in the process. What then? Just as with the pages of this book, we must pick back up where we left off. We must accept the fact that we are flawed humans while doing our best to learn from our errors and to not make the same mistakes twice . . . or any more times than we already have.

Dust yourself off. Recommit. Do better.

That journey—The Daily Dad as a book and as an idea—is, of course, not just for men. Our daily email, which has been free at dailydad.com, is received by thousands of women each morning. It’s called The Daily Dad because I happen to be a father—of two boys—and that’s about all you need to read into the name.”

One may ask the question, “When you travel, how do you keep up with so many books?” I have a hard copy of five of the seven books, but I have the Kindle e-book of all seven books. My meditations are read via the Kindle app on my iPhone when on the road. Very convenient, and I LOVE the freedom of having the content available anytime, anywhere!

What is your morning routine? Do you read and contemplate any books of meditations on a daily basis?