My wife, Terri, and I are participating in a kindness initiative hosted by KindLoook (as in “What happens if we look a little longer, with kindness?”) through November 2024. In one of the lessons, I wrote about my belief that we all have a kindness filter when it comes to the kindness we prioritize and can share. A portion of my post is provided below:
“Whoa, a thought-provoking topic for day 25!
[Bill T Note: the topic asked us to consider when we had a “sense” to perform an act of kindness and deny that sense for any reason].
This will take me some time to unpack, but whether we agree or not, I believe everyone has a filter for the kindness they (hopefully) bring to the world.
A previous post here [in the KindLoook initiative group] stimulated my thoughts: “Are you a giver, taker, or matcher?” Adam Grant’s book Give and Take explores this theme, and I highly recommend it! I read it in 2013, which has helped shape my perspective on kindness.
Let me start with a few nonnegotiable facts we all are restricted by:
Memento Mori – we all are going to die. A fact no one has ever avoided.
We are all blessed with 24 hours of time per day. How we “spend” our time is critically important, and too often, we don’t respect our own time—the most precious nonrenewable asset each of us has. I vow and strive to respect my time and the time of others.
Every “yes” is a “no” to something else by default. Am I making my “yes” moments count?
Kindness is a serious priority in my life. Yet, I cannot do everything. I have the courage and desire to protect my “yes” moments to maximize my mission and broaden the reach of my ability to bring kindness to the world.
Enter my “kindness filter,” which helps me guide my efforts toward having the maximum impact of kindness in my life.
[Note: A deeper dive into discussing my kindness filter is a topic for a separate blog post]
**
A key aspect of my kindness filter is my belief that outsized impact can be gained through the “presence” we bring to the world. “Be gentle. Be kind—you never know what someone is going through.” My goal of focusing on micro-moments or micro-moves of kindness enhances my presence.
As I think about kindness moments, I am guided by the Stoicism encouragement of our Circles of Concern. A modern update is presented as follows:
An example of capturing a micro-moment happened when I was running errands recently. The action I took did not involve interaction with another person, yet the brief time effort expended enabled me to impact the Self, Community, and Earth rings in the circle of concern shown here.
What Happened?
While pulling into a parking spot to stop and buy a cup of coffee, I noticed a small bottle on the ground. I gently tapped my brake, put my car in reverse, and then moved into a separate parking spot where no trash was on the ground.
**
When I am out and about, I frequently pick up trash as my gentle contribution (it makes me feel good) to my community and the earth. Because of my years-long habit, I notice trash and, unfortunately, the disregard that some folks have for the concept of “leave it better than you found it.” In moments of brief time, I can leverage micro kindness. I often ask myself how much cleaner and more beautiful our communities would be if every person adopted the following mindset shifts:
How can I help? I emphasize small moments requiring minuscule time commitments, not large grand gestures. With a simple mindset shift, we all can contribute with barely an uptick in time involved. We just need to care about each other and our world.
If you see something, do something. If you see a piece of trash (or a stray shopping cart!), why not think, “This is my problem,” and I have an opportunity to be part of the solution? Instead, a default response too often is, “That is not my job. Someone is paid to take care of that [situation].”
Embracing micro-moments to contribute will change you and can change our communities. Be part of the solution. These small moments of kindness, utterly independent of interaction with another human being, will open your eyes to the power of kindness, and your efforts will compound in the presence you bring to your family, community, and the world!
**
Returning to the small bottle, I noticed. After I got out of my car, I walked over to pick up the piece of trash and noted it was a small, empty glass bottle of Absolut Vodka! GLASS! If I or anyone else had driven over the bottle, we would now have broken glass in the parking lot AND the possibility of tire damage to a car. In addition, there was another empty bottle of Absolut Vodka. Thus, by picking up these two bottles and disposing of them properly, I eliminated the risk of developing further problems.
Unfortunately, this act is a micro kindness because, in my experience, rare is the person who will pause and make an effort to pick up a piece of trash. This observation saddens me because it is a rare occurrence. I will strive to consistently do my part and be part of the solution for cleaning up our communities and, maybe, set an example to inspire someone else to get involved.
If you are interested in a global initiative around trash pickup, check out this six-minute TED Talk about the Litterati app: This app makes it fun to pick up litter.
The power of kindness does not mean grand gestures or significant time commitments. Kindness is often in the smallest of moments—like stopping to pick up a piece of trash from a parking lot. Micro-kindness opportunities surround us daily, requiring minimal time yet offering meaningful impact. When we notice and act on these moments, we our immediate environment and demonstrate that simple actions can inspire positive change. We cannot do everything—but we can recognize small opportunities for impact and consistently choose to be part of the solution, one act at a time.
