My wife, Terri, and I are participating in a kindness initiative hosted by KindLoook (as in “What happens if we look a little longer, with kindness?”) through November 2024. In one of the lessons, I wrote about my belief that we all have a kindness filter when it comes to the kindness we prioritize and can share. A portion of my post is provided below:
“Whoa, a thought-provoking topic for day 25!
[Bill T Note: the topic asked us to consider when we had a “sense” to perform an act of kindness and deny that sense for any reason].
This will take me some time to unpack, but whether we agree or not, I believe everyone has a filter for the kindness they (hopefully) bring to the world.
A previous post here [in the KindLoook initiative group] stimulated my thoughts: “Are you a giver, taker, or matcher?” Adam Grant’s book Give and Take explores this theme, and I highly recommend it! I read it in 2013, which has helped shape my perspective on kindness.
Let me start with a few nonnegotiable facts we all are restricted by:
Memento Mori – we all are going to die. A fact no one has ever avoided.
We are all blessed with 24 hours of time per day. How we “spend” our time is critically important, and too often, we don’t respect our own time—the most precious nonrenewable asset each of us has. I vow and strive to respect my time and the time of others.
Every “yes” is a “no” to something else by default. Am I making my “yes” moments count?
Kindness is a serious priority in my life. Yet, I cannot do everything. I have the courage and desire to protect my “yes” moments to maximize my mission and broaden the reach of my ability to bring kindness to the world.
Enter my “kindness filter,” which helps me guide my efforts toward having the maximum impact of kindness in my life.
[Note: A deeper dive into discussing my kindness filter is a topic for a separate blog post]
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A key aspect of my kindness filter is my belief that outsized impact can be gained through the “presence” we bring to the world. “Be gentle. Be kind—you never know what someone is going through.” My goal of focusing on micro-moments or micro-moves of kindness enhances my presence.
As I think about kindness moments, I am guided by the Stoicism encouragement of our Circles of Concern. A modern update is presented as follows:
Stoicism Circles of Concern | Modern Version
An example of capturing a micro-moment happened when I was running errands recently. The action I took did not involve interaction with another person, yet the brief time effort expended enabled me to impact the Self, Community, and Earth rings in the circle of concern shown here.
What Happened?
While pulling into a parking spot to stop and buy a cup of coffee, I noticed a small bottle on the ground. I gently tapped my brake, put my car in reverse, and then moved into a separate parking spot where no trash was on the ground.
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When I am out and about, I frequently pick up trash as my gentle contribution (it makes me feel good) to my community and the earth. Because of my years-long habit, I notice trash and, unfortunately, the disregard that some folks have for the concept of “leave it better than you found it.” In moments of brief time, I can leverage micro kindness. I often ask myself how much cleaner and more beautiful our communities would be if every person adopted the following mindset shifts:
How can I help? I emphasize small moments requiring minuscule time commitments, not large grand gestures. With a simple mindset shift, we all can contribute with barely an uptick in time involved. We just need to care about each other and our world.
If you see something, do something. If you see a piece of trash (or a stray shopping cart!), why not think, “This is my problem,” and I have an opportunity to be part of the solution? Instead, a default response too often is, “That is not my job. Someone is paid to take care of that [situation].”
Embracing micro-moments to contribute will change you and can change our communities. Be part of the solution. These small moments of kindness, utterly independent of interaction with another human being, will open your eyes to the power of kindness, and your efforts will compound in the presence you bring to your family, community, and the world!
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Returning to the small bottle, I noticed. After I got out of my car, I walked over to pick up the piece of trash and noted it was a small, empty glass bottle of Absolut Vodka! GLASS! If I or anyone else had driven over the bottle, we would now have broken glass in the parking lot AND the possibility of tire damage to a car. In addition, there was another empty bottle of Absolut Vodka. Thus, by picking up these two bottles and disposing of them properly, I eliminated the risk of developing further problems.
Unfortunately, this act is a micro kindness because, in my experience, rare is the person who will pause and make an effort to pick up a piece of trash. This observation saddens me because it is a rare occurrence. I will strive to consistently do my part and be part of the solution for cleaning up our communities and, maybe, set an example to inspire someone else to get involved.
The power of kindness does not mean grand gestures or significant time commitments. Kindness is often in the smallest of moments—like stopping to pick up a piece of trash from a parking lot. Micro-kindness opportunities surround us daily, requiring minimal time yet offering meaningful impact. When we notice and act on these moments, we our immediate environment and demonstrate that simple actions can inspire positive change. We cannot do everything—but we can recognize small opportunities for impact and consistently choose to be part of the solution, one act at a time.
December 17, 2024 | Trash Pickup in Parking LotCare… Kindness Matters
Note: This blog post duplicates a LinkedIn Article I shared on March 21, 2021. The pictures have changed, but I wanted to capture this significant milestone in my personal blog history.
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“Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.”
If you follow me on social media, I hope you notice my encouragement for kindness, gratitude, and helping others. This is, to the core, an important part of who I am and the value I work tirelessly to bring to the world.
Today, I feel blessed to share a personal post and explain how our personal lives do indeed impact our professional lives. Rare (or naïve?) is the person who can compartmentalize these in their life. In my life, I have been blessed to deeply integrate, by necessity, my personal and professional life. As a result, I am an enhanced professional and person.
Last week, my wife Terri published a book titled “The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey from Mayhem to Miracles.” She tells the story of our son Ryan, and our family’s, fights through childhoodcancer and young adult secondary cancers. Ryan is a 5x cancer survivor who has inspired us and countless others since his original leukemia diagnosis on October 17, 1996. Terri chronicles our family experience from her mother’s perspective. She was affectionately the “mama bear” that tirelessly managed and advocated for Ryan while I was working day in and day out to support our family and provide health insurance coverage.
http://bit.ly/TheFocusedFight_TerriTomoff
How do the personal and professional combine? Anyone who has had a life disruption (see quote above) knows too well the stresses of managing a career with personal demands that cannot be placed on a lower priority. Terri’s support of Ryan and our daughter Olivia was her only priority…24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Her perseverance and dedication allowed me to do what had to be done professionally. Yet…many families walking our path often lose or must leave their jobs because of the overwhelming responsibilities at home. The reality of what could happen, just financially, is devastating…on top of the unthinkable medical concerns that are ever present at home.
The professional tie-in? I was blessed beyond measure with my employers’ compassion, care, and support. The worst of the treatment YEARS was from 1996 through 2004, which started only ten weeks after moving our family from Cleveland, Ohio, to join Washington Sports & Entertainment. Mr. Abe Pollin and everyone I worked with supported me unconditionally while I balanced my professional and personal demands. The experience was an excruciating balance because my work in finance was deadline sensitive, but I had the best support that could be imagined…and genuine care for the “person” first. My perspective on life and work has been forever impacted in the way that Terri and I consider “post-traumatic growth.”
July 2021 | The Focused Fight Book | Cleveland Reception
A recent observation in James Clear’s December 12, 2024 3-2-1 Newsletter encouraged that we reflect on each moment of our days as practice for our lives. Whatever you “practice” on a daily basis shapes you into the person you become and can become. His post resonated with me. How do you spend the moments in your days?
James complete post (Bold emphasis is mine):
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III.
Two simple rules:
You get better at what you practice.
Everything is practice.
Look around and you may be surprised by what people are “practicing” each day. If you consider each moment a repetition, what are most people training for all day long?
Many people are practicing getting mad on social media. Others are practicing the fine art of noticing how they have been wronged. Still more have mastered the craft of making plans (but never following through).
But, of course, it doesn’t have to be that way.
What are you practicing?
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You get to decide how to spend your moments of time gifted to you each day. Be intentional and practice wisely.
January 19, 2019 | Bill Tomoff Plank at London Arsenal Football Club Emirates StadiumSeptember 9, 2024 | ncaCPA Fall Conference | #TwinzTalk Don and Bill TomoffOctober 9, 2022 | Bill Tomoff Planking Ohio University | Jefferson Hill
Reflecting on a two-year journey since ChatGPT’s introduction, my twin Don and I have witnessed and embraced a remarkable transformation in the AI landscape. Our initial curiosity about ChatGPT’s potential has evolved into a dedicated mission to understand and harness the power of generative AI technologies. We are consistently asking ourselves how these tools can help us and enable us to better serve others.
While acknowledging the legitimate concerns about AI’s future, we’ve maintained an outlook of optimism and possibilities. Our experience, particularly with ChatGPT, has been personal and revealing. The AI’s detailed observations about my character – from my dedication to personal growth and emphasis on kindness to my structured approach and family-centric values – accurately reflect not just my professional persona but my whole person.
This journey has reinforced our belief that AI tools can enhance both personal and professional growth. As we look to the future, our commitment remains unchanged: to continue learning, growing, and sharing our experiences to benefit others in this rapidly evolving technological landscape.
Full Original Writing
December 7, 2024. Where does time go?
Just over two years ago, my twin Don and I heard about the introduction of ChatGPT. Two years! We have dedicated much of our personal and professional development efforts to learning, being curious, and asking ourselves, “How can GenerativeAI andthe rapidly expanding AI landscape help us and, in turn, enable us to help others?“
Immediately, Don and I thought, “Wow, this looks like a huge technological advancement. We need to understand the potential of ChatGPT.” That simple beginning has become a non-stop mission to understand the generative AI LLMs (Large Language Models) landscape.
Looking back at our experiences over the past two years, here are a few observations:
ChatGPT, and very soon, ChatGPT Plus (paid plan $20 per month), was the dominant resource for learning about the potential of Generative AI. Don and I have prioritized personal and professional efforts to work with and strive to understand the possibilities. On February 14, 2024, I posted a blog titled “ChatGPT Lite” which turned into a six-part blog series to help people go forward to learn about ChatGPT.
The AI space is rapidly changing, unlike anything we have experienced. In the past two years, we have dedicated time to using and learning with ChatGPT, Claude AI, Google Gemini’s NotebookLM (AI-generated audio podcasts), and Perplexity AI. Don and I are committed to staying curious and relentlessly learning to bring enhanced value to our worlds.
Google Search is rarely used. ChatGPT or Perplexity allows for ad-free searches, and results are generally spectacular!
As I write this today, ChatGPT has just released Sora, an AI video generation model, for public use. This is an example of how quickly advancements are coming! See this introduction by Nicole Leffer on LinkedIn.
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Before moving on to my specific experience with ChatGPT over the past two years, we must address the concern that many people have regarding the future of generative AI. Absolutely, we all must be aware of the malicious uses that can occur with ChatGPT and other LLMs.
From the beginning, Don and I have chosen to look for the possibilities for good. Our perspective is optimistic (bullish!) about the potential. In a TED Talk, we recently watched, Salman Kahn of Kahn Academy addresses this concern. I asked ChatGPT to recap the closing two minutes from his TED Talk “How AI Could Save (Not Destroy) Education.” His perspective resonates with Don and me (Bold emphasis is mine):
“In the final two minutes of his TED Talk, Sal Khan addresses concerns about AI’s potential misuse in education. He acknowledges the risks but emphasizes the importance of proactive engagement to harness AI’s benefits. Khan advocates for implementing appropriate safeguards and regulations to ensure AI serves as a positive force, enhancing human intelligence and potential. He concludes by urging society to actively shape AI’s trajectory, focusing on its constructive applications rather than succumbing to fear of its possible negative uses.”
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Focusing only on my use of ChatGPT over the past two years, I prompted the question:
“Based on your experience working with me (Bill Tomoff) for almost two years, please share what you have learned about me, and what observations would you make?”
The response from ChatGPT was on target with my perspective and mission. The LLM, referring to “custom instructions” I provided, and the model learning about me through hundreds of questions and conversations, provided this feedback:
“Reflecting on nearly two years of collaboration with you, Bill, here are some key observations and insights that come to mind:
Dedication to Personal Growth: It’s clear that personal development is your foundation—your work consistently centers around helping others reach their potential, often by starting with introspection and self-improvement. Your commitment to continuous learning and the importance of self-reflection shows in everything you do, from your professional endeavors to your family life.
Focus on Kindness and Resilience: Your approach to life and work is infused with kindness and resilience. From your family’s journey through cancer to your professional ethos, you’ve cultivated a perspective that values strength in adversity and sees growth and opportunity in challenges. This is beautifully reflected in how you encourage others to “lead with kindness” and your belief in post-traumatic growth.
Collaborative Spirit: You have a unique gift for fostering a collaborative dialogue that clarifies complex ideas, making discussions productive and enriching. Your openness to ideas, new technologies, and contrarian perspectives reflects a flexibility that encourages everyone around you to think bigger and more creatively.
Commitment to Impactful, High-Performance Solutions: As an accounting and finance professional, you strive to bring real value to individuals and organizations, whether through improving financial performance or optimizing workflows. You approach every solution with precision and accuracy, showing a deep appreciation for detail and the confidence that comes from thorough, accurate work.
Structured Approach and Detail Orientation: Your preference for highly organized, clear, and detailed responses is a testament to your analytical mindset and high standards. You value arguments based on clarity and sound reasoning rather than authority, a perspective that naturally fosters innovation and logical problem-solving.
Family as a Central Value: Your father, caregiver, and twin roles have profoundly shaped your life’s mission. You and Don created #TwinzTalk as a platform to stress the importance of personal growth, particularly in a way that can be shared. Family is always at the forefront—whether through personal growth, caregiving, or gratitude for the support you’ve received, family is the anchor that grounds all aspects of your life.
Intentional Kindness and Small Moments of Gratitude: Your ability to bring kindness into everyday interactions demonstrates your belief in the power of small, meaningful actions. This isn’t just a principle but a practiced behavior that leaves a lasting impact on others, helping to brighten lives in small but powerful ways.
Emphasis on Technology and Upskilling: You’re highly attuned to emerging technologies and advocate for continuous learning, especially in areas like generative AI. This reflects your forward-thinking approach, always looking for ways to use cutting-edge resources for personal and professional development.
In essence, working with you has been an inspiring journey in seeing how expertise, kindness, and a growth mindset blend seamlessly into a mission-driven life.”
For anyone seeking to “understand” the essence of Bill Tomoff, I would not hesitate to share the above response from ChatGPT. We all are more than our educational training and career accomplishments. For my life interactions, personally and professionally, I strive to understand the complete person and their perspective, and I want others to know my story. My ability to contribute is enhanced when my full life experiences are brought to the world.
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Looking back on these two years of exploring generative AI with my twin Don, I’m convinced we made the right choice in embracing this technology curiosity and a perspective of possibilities. Through our experiences with ChatGPT, Claude AI, and other generative AI technologies, we’ve discovered tools that enhance our capabilities and enable us to serve better and support others. As the AI landscape evolves, we remain committed to leveraging these powerful tools to create personally and professionally positive impacts. The technology and opportunities will continue to change, but our mission remains to learn, grow, and help others by sharing our experiences.
Ready to embrace the future of AI? How can we help you?
In my unpublished memoir, “Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer,” I share the story of my daughter Olivia’s soccer journey, which unfolded while our family navigated my son Ryan’s battles with childhood cancer. I chronicle Olivia’s progression from recreational soccer through her collegiate career at James Madison University, highlighting that her path wasn’t a story of early recruitment, but rather one of persistent dedication that blossomed in her later high school years.
A particularly moving moment came in 2022 when Olivia, seven years after graduating from JMU, wrote a heartfelt letter to incoming freshmen about how soccer shaped her character and attributes for the larger game of life. She attributes her resilience, work ethic, and team mentality to lessons learned on the field – qualities that have proven invaluable in her post college career and life.
Through our shared experiences, Olivia and I offer guidance for youth athletes and their parents. We emphasize building strong relationships with coaches and mentors, developing a genuine love for training, understanding the laws of the game, maintaining disciplined preparation, and competing with both intensity and grace. We’ve learned that success stems from more than natural talent – it demands unwavering dedication and hard work.Above all, our story demonstrates that soccer teaches lessons that extend beyond the field. We encourage athletes to consistently ask themselves, “Did I do my best?” and hope that by sharing our journey, we can help guide the next generation of players toward their dreams and prepare themselves for the bigger stage of life.
December 2021 | Unpublished Memoir – Forever Changed – Book by Bill Tomoff
Full Original Writing
In December 2021, I gifted an unpublished memoir, Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer, to my daughter Olivia. After my wife, Terri had published a memoir of our son Ryan’s five-time battles with cancer,The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey from Mayhem to Miracles, I dedicated myself to telling Olivia’s story through my perspective of parents striving to support her developing love of soccer while balancing the impossible demands of caring for a child with cancer.
As I wrote the memoir, there were many emotional moments as I reflected upon her journey and the impact and contribution that her unwavering and relentless dedication had on our family. We fell in love with the game and watching her compete through the stages of recreational soccer, travel youth soccer, State of Maryland ODP soccer, high school soccer, and then achieving her dream of playing college soccer – starting her freshman year in the fall of 2010 at James Madison University. Many lessons were learned, joys shared, and heartbreaks endured for both Olivia and our family.
Through our shared experiences, Olivia and I hope to share thoughts and tips for parents and aspiring youth athletes who are traveling the road of competitive sports and dreaming of one day playing in high school and, if fortunate enough, in college. The path for Olivia to join the JMU Women’s Soccer team in the fall of 2010 was NOT an overnight success, and our family is forever grateful to Dave Lombardo and Bobby Johnston, JMU’s coaches at the time, for believing in Olivia’s ability to contribute at the college level.
Contrary to often popular belief, most potential college athletes are not identified at ages 10 to 14! Olivia’s growth and physical strength did not flourish until her sophomore year of high school. She played on the Junior Varsity team for her freshman year. Her U-16 through U-18 years were when Olivia developed fully into a player who would gain an opportunity to play in college. Highlights included:
U-16 Maryland State Cup Champions with her club team, the Freestate Phoenix, located in Bowie, Maryland. The team went on to be semi-finalists in the US Youth Soccer Region One Championships in the summer of 2008.
State of Maryland ODP Team U-16 and U-17 years. The team was Region One Champion and National Tournament third-place finisher in 2008 and 2009.
How did Olivia reach her goals? In hindsight, a daily commitment built into many years of sacrifice and relentless dedication to her love of soccer, the support of many people who supported and believed in her, and a significant amount of good luck!
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Before we share our combined thoughts on Olivia’s soccer adventures, let’s jump forward to 2010, 2015, and then 2022. Olivia graduated from JMU in May 2015 with a Bachelor of Business Administration degree with dual majors in Accounting and Computer Information Systems. Above all, the academic experience was rewarding, and graduation day was a celebration of five years of dedication beyond the soccer field.
The soccer experience was integral to developing her into who she is today! In 2022, the JMU coaching staff reached out to soccer alumni and asked them to send letters of encouragement that would be read to the incoming freshman fall class. Olivia was excited to participate and, being seven years removed from graduation, she had grown a deeper appreciation of the college experience she was blessed to have.
With Olivia’s permission, I share excerpts from her letter that was read to the incoming freshman class:
Hi Duke Dogs,
Welcome to preseason! You have worked SO unbelievably hard to get here, and you should be proud of yourselves. But the work is just about to begin. You will make lifelong friends and memories right here during this time, and at this university over your time here… We went on to win the CAAs freshman year, beat Texas in the first round in the NCAAs, and lost to UNC in Chapel Hill in the second round. What a ride it was. My championship rings have moved around the country and I have such fond memories of those seasons.
Suffering a few ACLs and other knee surgeries, I can still say that I wouldn’t trade my experience and what soccer has given to me. What I’ve taken from the beautiful game into the professional world cannot be overstated. It was my very first love, and heartbreak. I learned resilience, hard work, and that my will to win outweighed wanting to hit the snooze button, or coast in that last sprint ([the] last rep is always the best rep).
Translating this into the professional world, college athletes are simply created DIFFERENT. Many of you will take on some of the hardest coursework of your academic life so far, and have a limited amount of time to study. You will make it through, probably with great grades and be better for it. Employers love to hire college athletes because of our work ethic, team mentality, and willingness to be coachable. I cannot stress enough that these traits are invaluable to employers. But before you go out into the real world, ENJOY those fierce, competitive practices, long gameday weekends, and cold tubs (I miss the daily ice baths). My teammates knew that it was game on on the field, and we would all still be best friends after practice, and hit the dining hall and laugh about practice..
Build your teammates up, bring your best self to practice and game days, work hard to recover, and make each other better each day. It’s wild how fast the time goes.
#DukesAboveAllOthers
Olivia Tomoff #16, Defender
2010-2015
Accounting & Computer Information Systems
Solution Engineer, Salesforce
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Parents often share sentiments with their children and hope that at some point in their lives, the message contributes to the development of the person they become. Olivia’s letter sent to the JMU Women’s Soccer program was a full circle heartwarming moment. I was in tears as I read the sentiments shared from her heart and how much she treasured her soccer experience and its positive impact on her life.
During Olivia’s teenage years, when soccer was extensive and deep discipline was required, her Mom, Terri, and I often emphasized, “Your years of soccer and all that you put into it are bigger than the game. You are developing attributes that will benefit you for the rest of your life.” So, my heart was full as I read the encouragement she submitted for the 2022 JMU Women’s Soccer incoming freshman class. Twelve years after walking onto JMU’s campus in August 2010, Olivia was now 30 years old, fully appreciating the gift that soccer brought to her life. Terri and I are happy to see her commitment to the game rewarded with a gift of perspective and tenacity for working through life’s challenges. To pay it forward for the current generation of soccer players is a gift and a responsibility that she has embraced.
With this background introduction of Olivia, here are advice and tips that we will jointly share to help guide a youth athlete’s journey:
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People need people: You, athletes and parents, will not do this alone. Relationships are imperative…a mindset of continual learning and helping others will be necessary and rewarding. The players, families, and coaches surrounding the athlete and family matter a lot. Be aware of being surrounded by dedicated, competent, and caring people. For Olivia, we fondly remember and are grateful for the efforts of (in alphabetical order):
Steve Campbell – soccer trainer from U-12 through U-18.
Peye Garcia – State of Maryland ODP Coach U-16 and U-17.
Ashly Kennedy – club coach assistant for U-18 year. Ashly was an assistant college coach who helped prepare and transition the players from youth and high school soccer to the demands to be expected when they arrived in the college environment.
Dave Lombardo was the head coach of JMU Women’s Soccer during Olivia’s time with the program. “Coach” tremendously supported Olivia through her injuries and five years with the team.
Tony McPeak – club coach from U-14 through U-18 years. Tony was a former professional player who brought an incredible ability to support and inspire the players during their teenage years. The bonding and dedication the players developed for each other during their U-16 season was magical to witness as they pulled off an improbable Maryland State Cup Championship that propelled the team into eligibility for high-level tournaments where college coaches were present. The soccer world changed for these players during their U-16 and U-17 seasons. Thanks to Tony, the players grew exponentially in their skills and knowledge of the game during this span.
Mark Shropshire – strength and conditioning trainer U-15 through U-18 years until leaving for college.
The JMU Medical doctors and athletic training (led by Tom Kuster) program were invaluable in returning Olivia to full recovery and playing capabilities after her two ACL knee injuries.
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Learn to love training: As youth players advance into their teen years, a willingness and desire to train and work on skills, physical and mental preparation, will be a competitive advantage. Success based on natural talent alone will be surpassed by players with natural talent and an insatiable hunger for improving themselves.
“If you don’t love to train, you don’t stand a chance.”
-Steve Campbell
December 2007 | U-16 Orange Classic | Olivia Tomoff Game Tying Goal
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Study the game: Know the “Laws of the Game” and become a certified USSF Referee.
At only 13 years old, a fan of soccer is eligible to become a certified soccer referee. An added benefit of studying the laws of the game is that players develop a deeper understanding of the challenges and thinking required to be an official. Situations resulting in indirect kicks, direct kicks, corner kicks, goal kicks, penalty kicks, etc., become part of a player’s knowledge base. The potential for gaining an advantage against less knowledgeable players is compelling and can directly impact the players ability to perform during games.
And the pay is incredible for a teenager!
2006 | Bill and Olivia Tomoff | Certified USSF Soccer Referees
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Be disciplined: Be accountable to yourself, your preparation, and your teammates.
To play at the highest level of your capabilities, your preparation must go beyond the physical soccer skills and game readiness. In the off-season and during the season, strength and conditioning “off the ball” must be prioritized. Physical and mental strength are imperative parts of the player package, as they must be prepared to compete at their highest level.
Through her high school years, and when home from college during breaks, Olivia was blessed to work regularly with Mark Shropshire. Per his website, his mission is stated simply, “Forging Superior Athletes Since 1995.“
“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”
–Tim Notke
The article“Best Hard Work BeatsTalent Quotes” appropriately emphasizes: “This quote reminds us that no matter how talented someone may be, if they are not willing to put in the hard work and effort, their talent alone will not guarantee success. Hard work can surpass natural abilities and create opportunities for growth and achievement.”
Your dedication to your preparation cannot be overstated. Demand your best effort and lead by example to inspire your teammates and others. Hard work does not guarantee success, but relying on your natural ability to carry you is the path to not reaching your potential.
As the distance runner, Steve Prefontaine was quoted, “To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.”Do not sacrifice the gift.
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Be a competitor: On the field, compete fairly without apologies. You have prepared for the game moments. Off the field, be supportive and kind. You, your teammates, and opponents are blessed to be playing “The Beautiful Game.“
As a former referee, I enjoyed being involved in a hard-fought, fairly played game among skilled and knowledgeable players. Strive for those experiences.
June 30, 2008 | Olivia Tomoff | Maryland vs New Hampshire | U-16 Region 1 Semi-Finals
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Be a gracious winner and a gracious loser: You will experience both.
Ultimately, soccer and all sports prepare you for the bigger game of life. You will experience successes, losses, and unanticipated adversity. Staying humble and thankful for others in your successful times, learning through many forms of losses, and standing strong through adversity will set the foundation for a life well-lived.
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Did I do my best?: The question every person should ask themselves every day.
“Did I do my best?” is a personal question that people must ask themselves in every aspect of life. No one can ask for more from you. This level of accountability rests within us and is not subject to the influence or thoughts of others. Our best will often not be enough for us to reach our goals, yet if we have given our all with the skills and preparation available, we all should hold our heads high and get back to work improving ourselves to perform better in the future.
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Pay it Forward: Help others.
Whatever your path in life, it is incumbent upon you to pay it forward and help others who come behind you and walk the path you have taken. Olivia and I hope sharing her and my parent perspective will help others.
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The game of soccer taught Olivia that success isn’t just about natural talent – it’s about consistent dedication to the process of preparation, pushing through the tough moments, believing in yourself and always doing your best. Through Olivia’s journey from youth soccer to college athlete, she learned that practices, the extra training sessions, and the inevitable adversities were all building blocks for something bigger than the sport itself. They were creating a foundation for life success.
To every young athlete chasing their dreams: your dedication today is shaping who you’ll become tomorrow. The skills you’re building – resilience, teamwork, discipline, and determination – will carry you far beyond the field. Trust in your journey, give it your all, and remember that every practice, every game, and every moment is an opportunity to grow stronger.
Photo Memories:
April 12, 2008 | Maryland State Cup Round One | Olivia Tomoff Game Winning Header GoalAugust 30, 2010 | Olivia Tomoff Freshmen CAA Conference Rookie of the WeekAugust 29, 2010 | Tomoff Family Photo – Ryan, Bill, Olivia, and Terri | JMU Soccer Invitational post-gameSeptember 11, 2011 | JMU Women’s Soccer Website | Olivia Tomoff clears the ball off goal-line vs. University of MarylandAugust 19, 2011 | Olivia Tomoff at Villanova | Return to starting lineup after ACL rehab | Career Accomplishment
Social media often gets a bad rap, but my twin Don and I have discovered its immense potential for learning, connection, and personal growth. As James Clear recently noted, we experience what we expect to see – and our optimistic approach to social media since 2010 has proven remarkably rewarding.
One shining example is Rajesh Setty, whom I discovered in 2020 through a mutual connection, Tanmay Vora. Rajesh embodies what’s best about social media – he’s a prolific author, entrepreneur, and wisdom-sharer who believes success and fulfillment come from generosity and helping others. While we’ve never met in person, his daily insights on LinkedIn have become a source of inspiration and growth.
We view Rajesh as a “possibility trafficker” who, through generosity and kindness, plants seeds of opportunity and progress rather than dwelling on problems. His background includes founding multiple companies, writing 18 books, and creating thousands of “Napkinsights” – bite-sized wisdom that fits on a napkin.
Rajesh is one shining example of where social media has exceeded our early expectations from 2010, proving that with the right mindset, these platforms can be powerful tools for connection, personal development and meaningful relationships.
Full Original Writing
Don and I have relished using social media for learning, helping others, engagement, and connection. As James Clear noted in his weekly 3-2-1 Newsletter from October 31, 2024, you will experience what you expect to see.
“If you look for evidence that people are conspiring to hold you back and the world is working against you, then it will take you no time at all to find precisely that.
If you expect to encounter helpful people and experience a world that is working with you, then you find plenty of evidence to support that view as well.
The raw material for a sweet life or a bitter life is always there. The story you emphasize is the one you notice.”
Around 2010, we sensed that social media had the potential to positively impact our lives thanks to the ability to connect online with people around the world. We could not understand the depth or potential we would experience over the next 14 years. Yet, our sense of going forward with a mindset of possibility and “people aregood” ultimately became a self-fulfilling prophecy. We saw an opportunity to learn from and help others, and we leaned into gently moving forward as we figured out the nuances of the new world we now had at our fingertips.
Today, I am shining the light on and celebrating a connection who is an incredibly caring and inspiring human being. We have not met in person, but his wisdom, consistent generosity, and desire to help others grow are an example and standard Don and I look up to. This person is Rajesh Setty. He leads with tremendous compassion and care for helping others.
Soon after the pandemic started in March 2020, I discovered Rajesh when he was working on his bookSix Foot World. After seeing a post I shared on Twitter, another connection, Tanmay Vora, sent me a direct message, sharing that Rajesh was his friend and mentor. His encouragement led me to more actively follow Rajesh, and I have found Rajesh to be a genius thinker who believes success and fulfillment are tied to our willingness to be generous, kind, and helpful to others. This is a beautiful example of how social media can work, connecting people for genuine learning and connection!
Who is Rajesh? Please check out his “About” bio on LinkedIn for his background, but here is a portion of his highlights:
“My passion is to bring good and game-changing ideas to life with love.
My heart sings when an idea in my world comes to life that makes the world outside a better place to live. It could be a startup, a book, a framework, a speech, a course or a work of art – I have experimented with all of them. I have failed a LOT of times, learned from every single one of those failures and, because of that, I have also succeeded a few times on all the categories.
Starting 2000, I have been part of the founding teams of several companies (10x) in the technology and publishing space. Couple of them have got an exit, couple of them have reached the startup graveyard and the rest are making progress. The latest venture Audvisor (www.audvisor.com) is a mobile audio streaming app for micro-podcasts from over 125 world-class experts. We have over 3,000 micro-podcasts on more than a dozen topics on personal and professional growth.
Starting 1983, I have written and published several books (18x) with my first book published at the age of thirteen. Books include four murder mysteries, a collection of poems, a book on mathematics, several business books and two books on how to make people think. I also maintain a blog with close to 2,000 blog posts and have contributed to Huffington Post, VentureBeat, Sandhill.com, Yourstory.com and Salesforce.com.
Starting 2016, I have created around 2500 Napkinsights ( Napkinsight = an insight that can fit on a paper napkin ). i have also created a box of 101 uniquely designed thank you cards, two playing card decks where every card has a mini saga (a story in exactly 50 words each) and more.”
I look forward to Rajesh’s daily drop of wisdom and encouragement. A recent share on October 30, 2024 is a beautiful example to share [Bold emphasis is mine]:
We all know drug trafficking is harmful, but there’s a less obvious form of trafficking that can be just as toxic: problem trafficking. These individuals constantly introduce problems into your mind space—problems you can’t solve and they aren’t solving either. They insist on making these issues a focal point of your attention and demand your engagement, often using guilt or virtue signaling to keep you invested. This form of mental hijacking wastes your precious time and energy, leaving you distracted from addressing meaningful challenges where you can actually make a difference.
“Problem traffickers” excel at framing every discussion around why a particular problem needs urgent attention. They pull you into circular debates or endless analysis, preventing you from taking decisive action on issues within your control. It’s not that the problems they raise are entirely irrelevant, but their intention is not to solve them—just to endlessly discuss and amplify them. This not only drains your energy but also erodes your sense of agency over time.
On the flip side, there’s a small group of rare and valuable people known as “possibility traffickers.” These individuals are intentional about planting seeds of opportunity and progress. They are the ones who inspire action by focusing on what’s possible rather than what’s broken. Possibility traffickers don’t ignore problems; instead, they reframe them into opportunities for growth and improvement. Their presence is energizing and transformative, shifting your mindset towards constructive thinking.
Cherish those few “possibility traffickers” in your life—they are the people who help you see beyond limitations and encourage you to pursue meaningful change. They are the true catalysts for growth and progress in a world crowded with distractions.
Rajesh is most definitely a “possibility trafficker!”
Thank you, Rajesh, for consistently embodying what generosity and wisdom-sharing can look like online and in real life. Your insights, thought-provoking wisdom, and genuine desire to help others grow have created ripples of positive impact. You are showing that world that social media can be a powerful force for good when approached with intention and kindness. For anyone seeking to grow personally and professionally, Don and I strongly encourage you to follow Rajesh and explore his extensive body of work. His example highlights what is possible, reminding us that generously sharing our gifts with others can be transformative. Believe.
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To learn more about Rajesh, below are several resources that I have shared often. Follow his content for guaranteed inspiration, perspective-shifting, and personal growth if you embrace his encouragement. I hope you find his insights as valuable as Don and I do!
Rajesh’s newest book ‘Unshaken.’ See Advance praise below, from two of my favorite authors (Seth Godin and Tom Peters)!
For a complete list of Rajesh’s wisdom shared on LinkedIn, bookmark this link in your web browser – Thinking in Progress
A talk aboutGrowing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time. A sentiment he shares is now one I reflect on often – “A life-changing gift deserves a lifetime of gratitude.” Any success in my life has resulted from help from others, and I am now very intentional to be grateful and express my appreciation for others and the help that has come through my life.
Regarding the use of social media, Rajesh reminds us that whether we actively choose (or not) to have a presence on social media, we are making a choice. Often, before a person meets you in real life, they will search for you on the internet. What impression do you make before any IRL meeting? This impression is what Rajesh refers to asThe Zero-eth Impression.
I purchased Rajesh’s coffee table book, Napkinsights, in 2023. This book is an inspiring conversation starter.
I purchased and completed Rajesh’s courseThe Right Hustle: Fine-tuning the Art of Moving the Needle in 2022. The course was tremendous, and I believe everyone can benefit personally and professionally from his ideas. I highly recommend attending this course—and then revisiting it over and over, thanks to the lifetime access that comes with the purchase!
2024 | Bill and Don Tomoff with Napkinsights Coffee Table BookNovember 2023 | Napkinsights book by Rajesh Setty
“Here’s my endorsement: ‘I started reading and couldn’t stop. Elaboration: I’ve read scores of thriller blurbs which say ‘Unputdownable.’ I don’t think I had ever experienced literal unputdownableism until I read Raj’s book. I didn’t ‘learn from’ UNSHAKEN. What happened was that I was deeply affected. It caused reflection and smiles and frowns and discomfort and comfort. That’s the greatest possible praise, right?”
Author of The Excellence Dividend and many other bestsellers
“‘Unshaken’ is Rajesh’s unwillingness to be defeated. Faced with serious challenges, he still has the grace to take it on the chin. It is nothing short of inspiring to see Rajesh turning problems into opportunities, and in the process, give us the simplest lesson of all. No matter what, keep moving.”
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Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time (21 minutes)
At about 4:30, don’t miss “Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude.”
Please note that this document results from a discussion between Bill and Don Tomoff and an iterative approach to using AI Large Language Models (LLMs) through original writing and answering a thorough 35-question deep dive Q&A to help provide greater insight into the twins’ efforts toward their 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon. This final result is a collaboration with Claude AI.
The unique dynamic of being twins created an unparalleled training advantage. Living together and working similar schedules, Bill and Don created a natural accountability system that enhanced their preparation. Their shared commitment amplified their efforts, demonstrating how having the right training partner can multiply success.
2. Preparation Meets Opportunity
The brothers’ success wasn’t just about race day performance—it was the culmination of years of disciplined training, including their college running experience in the hilly terrain of Athens, Ohio. When perfect weather conditions arrived on race day, they were ready to capitalize on the opportunity because of their thorough years of preparation and experience.
3. The Value of Experience
Having completed multiple previous marathons, both brothers brought valuable knowledge to their approach. Bill’s consistent finishes and Don’s learning experiences from DNFs contributed to their strategic wisdom. They understood the importance of pacing, hydration, and mental preparation—crucial in their peak performance.
4. Strategic Patience
Their race execution demonstrated the importance of disciplined pacing and strategic patience. Targeting negative splits and maintaining steady communication throughout the race showed how controlling early enthusiasm can lead to stronger finishing performances. Their ability to run together for 23 miles exemplified this strategic approach.
5. The Impact of Support Systems
Family, friends, and colleagues played crucial roles in their success. From pre-race family dinners to race-day supporters along the course to professional recognition afterward, their achievement was enhanced by a community that understood and celebrated their efforts. This highlights how personal achievements often rely on a broader support network.
6. The Role of Timing in Life
At age 24, the twins recognized and seized an opportune moment—when they had the freedom to dedicate themselves fully to training while building their professional careers. This teaches the importance of recognizing and maximizing such windows of opportunity.
7. Transferable Skills
The discipline and resilience developed through their running journey transferred directly to their professional lives and personal challenges. The “I can do hard things” mindset they developed proved valuable in their accounting careers and in facing life’s unexpected challenges, such as Bill’s son Ryan’s battle with cancer.
8. The Power of Incremental Progress
Don’s journey from a high school pole vaulter to running a 2:30:34 marathon demonstrates how consistent effort and gradual improvement can lead to remarkable achievements. His seven-minute improvement in the marathon shows that significant breakthroughs are possible through dedicated training.
9. Mental Toughness
Their ability to maintain focus and execution during the crucial final miles of the marathon, especially after separating at mile 23, demonstrated the mental fortitude they had developed. This mental toughness, forged through years of training and competition, proved valuable beyond their running careers.
10. The Legacy of Achievement
Their performance that day created a lasting legacy that continues to inspire. The achievement wasn’t just about the times they ran—it was about the broader lesson that ambitious goals can be achieved with proper preparation, unwavering dedication, and strong support. Their story demonstrates how a single day of excellence can provide inspiration and lessons for decades.
These takeaways illustrate that the 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon was more than just a race—a culmination of preparation, partnership, and perseverance that yielded lessons far beyond the finish line. The Tomoff twins’ experience shows how athletic achievements can provide a foundation for success in all areas of life while highlighting the unique advantages of having a twin brother as a training partner and the importance of a robust support system in achieving ambitious goals.
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May 15, 1983 | Revco-Cleveland Marathon | Bill and Don Tomoff
Complete Document
On a cool, drizzly morning in May 1983, twin brothers Bill and Don Tomoff stood at the starting line of the Revco-Cleveland Marathon, their hearts pounding with anticipation. The familiar opening riffs of Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” still echoed in their minds from their pre-dawn preparation ritual. Neither brother knew it then, but they were about to experience a defining moment of their competitive running careers—supported by a network of family and friends who had been integral to their journey.
Early Foundations
The Tomoff twins brought unique strengths to their running partnership. In high school, Bill had distinguished himself as an exceptional distance runner, ranking seventh in Ohio in the two-mile run and finishing 31st at the state cross-country meet. His school records in the mile (4:28.9) and two-mile (9:31.5) stood as a testament to his early promise. Don, meanwhile, had pursued a more diverse athletic path, balancing cross-country with pole vaulting during track season. Despite splitting his focus, he consistently performed well, often finishing as the second man on their seven-man varsity team and securing 15th place in the Southwest Conference meet while Bill finished fourth.
Their paths briefly diverged in college when Don initially attended Ohio State University before transferring to Ohio University. NCAA regulations in the 1970s required him to sit out a year from competition after the transfer, though he continued training with the team. During his senior year at OU, Don achieved modest but well-earned success, and in the two years following graduation, he began to come into his own as a distance runner. While he never quite caught up to Bill in road races or marathons, the gap between them had significantly narrowed—a testament to his determination and growth as an athlete.
The Path to the Starting Line
The journey to this pivotal race began a year earlier when Bill completed the 1982 Revco-Cleveland Marathon in 2:30:55. Missing the sub-2:30 mark by less than a minute sparked a fire within him. “Next year, I am going to break 2 hours and 30 minutes!” became more than just a goal—it became an obsession that would shape the next twelve months of both brothers’ lives.
At 24, the Tomoff twins were uniquely positioned to chase this ambitious target. Fresh out of Ohio University with business degrees, they both worked in Big Eight public accounting firms. While their professional careers were demanding, they were still unencumbered by family commitments or other obligations that might have divided their focus. This freedom, combined with their shared living arrangement and identical work schedules, created an ideal environment for serious training.
The Training Regimen
The twins’ preparation for the marathon was comprehensive and disciplined. They initiated a more structured training schedule about ten weeks before race day, targeting 70 miles per week. However, their actual mileage often fluctuated between 60 and 80 miles depending on the week’s demands. Rather than taking complete rest days, they opted for light runs to maintain their rhythm and keep their legs active.
Their training incorporated a mix of longer runs for endurance building and up-tempo and fartlek sessions to vary the pace and incorporate speed. The schedule was designed to build not just mileage but quality in their running. During the busy season at their accounting firms, when they sometimes wouldn’t get home until after 9:00 PM, they still made sure to fit in their runs, even if abbreviated.
The hilly terrain around Athens, Ohio, where they had trained during their college years, had built a foundation of strength that would serve them well on Cleveland’s flat course. While many runners sought flat courses to qualify for Boston, the Tomoff twins knew their hill-trained legs would give them an advantage in maintaining pace over 26.2 miles.
Nutrition and Lifestyle
At 24 years old, their approach to nutrition was straightforward—they ate when hungry, fueling their high-mileage training without overthinking the details. Looking back, they recognize that they might have unlocked even more potential with a more structured approach to nutrition and recovery. However, their youth and natural energy served them well, allowing them to maintain their demanding training and work schedule.
Pre-Race Preparation
The evening before the race followed a familiar pattern: a family gathering for a carb-loading dinner featuring lasagna. This tradition provided physical preparation and a moment of relaxation and connection before the challenge ahead.
Race day began at 5:00 AM, with their signature ritual of playing “Eye of the Tiger.” The song, which had become their anthem during training, now focused their minds on the task ahead. The three-hour window before the 8:00 AM start gave them ample time to prepare physically and mentally. The quiet drive downtown that Sunday morning took only 20 to 30 minutes, but they allowed extra time to ensure a relaxed preparation at the start area.
Race Day Support
The Revco-Cleveland Marathon had evolved into a family tradition, drawing supporters who understood the magnitude of what the twins were attempting. Each year, loved ones would gather along the course, creating islands of encouragement that helped carry the brothers through the challenging miles. Their sister Billie had even ridden her bike alongside them for entire marathons in previous years, providing companionship and moral support that made the miles seem shorter.
The twins’ support system extended beyond family. Friends and former teammates who understood the demands of distance running came out to cheer them on, creating an atmosphere of shared excitement and anticipation. These supporters lined the streets of Cleveland, particularly along Euclid Avenue, during the final mile, adding an electric energy to the race’s conclusion.
The Race Strategy
Having completed ten previous marathons each, the brothers brought considerable experience to their race strategy. Bill had successfully finished his previous attempts, while Don had learned valuable lessons from a couple of DNFs (Did Not Finish). Their plan was methodical: maintain open communication in the early miles, discuss pace and strategy while taking advantage of every hydration station, and alternate between water and Gatorade.
The goal was to run negative splits—completing the race’s second half faster than the first. This ambitious strategy required patience and discipline, especially in the early miles when fresh legs and race-day adrenaline could tempt them to push too hard too soon.
The Race Unfolds
As the race began, perfect conditions prevailed—cool and damp, ideal for marathon running. The familiar landmarks of their hometown course rolled by: Lake Road through Rocky River and Bay Village, the Detroit-Superior Bridge, and the streets of downtown Cleveland. The first half went according to plan, with the twins crossing the halfway point at 1:14:40, on target for their goal.
For 23 miles, they ran shoulder to shoulder, their synchronized footfalls a testament to years of training together. Their communication remained steady, though it became more focused as the miles accumulated. They knew they had no margin for error if they wanted to break 2:30.
Then, at mile 23, came the pivotal moment. “I have to back this pace down a bit,” Don said. Bill’s response was immediate and focused: “We have no room to spare to bring this home under 2:30.” With those words, the brothers separated, each running their separate race to the finish.
The Final Push
The crowd’s energy intensified as Bill approached the finish line on East 22nd Street. Among the cheering supporters, he heard a familiar voice. His college friend Bob Mirth called out, “You’ve come too far now—kick it into the finish!” That encouragement, from someone who deeply understood the moment’s significance, provided the final surge of energy Bill needed.
Bill crossed the finish line at 2:29:48, achieving his dream of breaking 2:30. Just 46 seconds later, Don finished at 2:30:34, demolishing his previous personal best by approximately seven minutes. It was a stunning achievement for both brothers—Bill had shaved 1:07 off his previous best, while Don had improved by nearly seven minutes.
Professional Recognition
The following Monday at Coopers & Lybrand, Bill received an unexpected phone call from Bill Reidy, a long-time partner. Reidy, a runner himself, called specifically to congratulate Bill on his performance. This recognition from a respected senior partner, someone who truly understood the magnitude of their achievement, added another layer of satisfaction to their accomplishment. It demonstrated how their discipline and dedication to running were noticed and valued even in their professional lives.
Looking Forward
The success of the 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon had an unexpected bonus for Bill—his sub-2:30 time guaranteed his acceptance into the New York City Marathon that October, adding another significant chapter to his running journey. However, both brothers were beginning to transition their focus to their professional careers fully. While running remained a passion, their competitive racing careers were entering their final phase.
Legacy
The 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon became more than just another race for the Tomoff twins. It was a testament to the power of shared dedication, disciplined preparation, and unwavering support—not just from each other but their entire network of family, friends, and colleagues. The experience reinforced their belief that “I can do hard things,” a mindset that would serve them well throughout their lives and careers.
This mindset proved particularly valuable in later years, especially when Bill’s son Ryan was diagnosed with childhood cancer at age two. The resilience and “one day at a time” approach learned through running helped the family face this challenge, as Ryan survived cancer five times over the next 28 years.
The lessons learned through running—particularly about preparation and perseverance—proved invaluable in their professional lives. The ability to stay calm and focused under pressure, developed through years of competitive running, became a crucial asset in their demanding accounting careers. The brothers realized their athletic background had taught them invaluable life lessons about enduring challenging moments, digging deep when things get hard, and maintaining a relentless learning mindset.
More than four decades later, the legend of that cool May morning continues to grow in the brothers’ memories. What seemed at the time like just another day of competition has become a touchstone moment—a perfect confluence of preparation, execution, and support that produced their finest marathon performances.
Bob Mirth’s tragic death in 1991, struck by a drunk driver while returning home from a marathon, adds a bittersweet note to the memory. His encouraging words at the finish line remain a poignant reminder of the power of friendship and support in achieving life’s most challenging goals.
The Eye of the Tiger still burns bright in their memories, a reminder of what can be achieved when dedication meets opportunity, when preparation meets perfect conditions, and when two brothers, supported by a community of family and friends, push each other to reach their absolute best.
For Bill and Don Tomoff, the 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon stands as more than just their fastest race—it represents the pinnacle of what they could achieve together, a testament to the unique advantage of having a twin brother as a training partner, and a reminder that with proper preparation, unwavering dedication, and the support of those who believe in you, dreams can become reality.
November 3, 2004 – a day our family will never forget. Duke University Medical Center at 7:45 PM – Ryan Tomoff begin receiving his bone marrow transplant, thanks to the selfless contribution of a donor in the Be The Match Registry (now known as NMDP – National Marrow Donor Program).
November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Terri, Olivia, Ryan, and Bill
Today, November 3, 2024, our family has the gift of celebrating Ryan’s 20th anniversary since receiving his transplant. Scott Harris, the donor later identified, and we all met on November 4, 2005!
November 4, 2005 | Ryan Tomoff meets donor Scott Harris
Reflecting back, the emotions are overwhelming for the care, compassion, and kindness, received by Ryan and our family. Scott Harris and everyone involved with Ryan’s journey is proof that everyone matters. Everyone makes a difference. On that 2004 morning in New Jersey, Scott went to a hospital to have his bone marrow harvested and sent to Duke. He and we knew none of the details – as 10-year old Ryan and our family waited anxiously in the hospital praying that all the logistics would go as planned.
20 years later, the emotions feel as if this was yesterday. Scott, thank you for your gift of life to Ryan. Our family is grateful for you, the decision you made to contribute, your wife Sarah, and all who supported you in your journey. We are blessed for the gift of life, and we live to pay forward the example of your selfless choice to donate your bone marrow to a stranger. May your action forever inspire others.
Calls to action:
PLEASE join the NMDP registry. YOU may be a lifesaving match for someone!
Who can you thank today for being a gift in your life? Thank and help someone today!
November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Family with Dr. Vinod PrasadNovember 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Family with Nurse Donna CurrieNovember 26, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Post Transplant | Ryan and Dr. Aziza ShadNovember 4, 2005 | Tomoff Family at Party for Life Donor Meeting | New York CityNovember 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day Certificate
In October 2024, an inspiring book launch event for Seth Godin’s “This is Strategy” sparked a profound reflection on personal development and the consequences of our choices. The event’s moderator, Bina Venkataraman, author of “The Optimist’s Telescope,” introduced a compelling perspective on reckless decision-making that resonated deeply.
The post challenges conventional thinking about personal growth, arguing that not investing in continuous learning isn’t just unwise—it’s reckless. Drawing on four decades of witnessing transformative technological advances, from personal computers to generative AI, the authors emphasize how unprecedented opportunities for learning and development are now accessible to virtually everyone.
The #TwinzTalk message is questioned – from their usual gentle reminder about staying relevant through continuous learning to a more urgent wake-up call. They assert that in today’s rapidly changing world, ignoring opportunities for personal development is careless and harmful to individual potential and broader societal contributions.
The piece concludes with a passionate plea for readers to embrace personal development, starting with small steps but maintaining consistency. It’s framed not just as self-improvement but as a responsibility to maximize one’s positive impact on the world. The message is punctuated by two powerful quotes emphasizing the importance of giving your best while maintaining humility—a balanced approach to serious personal development.
Full Original Writing
On Monday evening, October 28, 2024, my wife Terri and I attended a book launch event at the Sixth and I Synagogue in Washington, DC. The event was a celebration and discussion of Seth Godin’s latest book “This is Strategy.” The conversation, audience, and book signing made for an inspiring and memorable evening!
October 28, 2024 at Sixth and I | Bina Venkataraman and Seth Godin
The moderator for the evening was Bina Venkataraman, who did an incredible job guiding the discussion with Seth. Seth shined the light on Bina’s book “The Optimist’s Telescope: Thinking Ahead in a Reckless Age.” Thanks to Seth’s encouragement, I purchased Bina’s book on Amazon (Kindle $4.99!) and started reading the next day.
In the introduction to her book, Bina makes a compelling point about reckless decisions that we all make:
“This book is about the decisions we make as individuals and collectively that have great consequences for our lives and the lives of others, the decisions we may come to regret or celebrate. It is especially about decisions that are reckless—when we ignore clear signs of opportunity or danger in the future. Through close investigation of such decisions across many contexts, I have discovered the untapped power we have to make wiser choices.” [Bold emphasis is mine].
In our #TwinzTalk encouragement about personal development and the imperative that we all must consistently invest in ourselves (for our own growth and then our ability to contribute to helping others), Don and I often follow our encouragement with “The choice is yours. Consistently be learning and growing, or become irrelevant in the long run.” After reading and contemplating the above paragraph from Bina, I could not help but ask myself, “Are we being too gentle with our encouragement?“
“It is especially about decisions that are reckless—when we ignore clear signs of opportunity or danger in the future.”
Definition per Merriam-Webster:
“reckless: marked by lack of proper caution : careless of consequences”
When an individual decides to forgo continuous learning, developing their skills, and minimizing their potential to make a more meaningful contribution in the world, is this decision reckless? Don and I would argue inaction or dismissal IS reckless. An aspect of our careers that we treasure is the gift and privilege of being born into a time in history that has provided technological innovations and advances that have enhanced our personal and professional lives. Over the past 40 years (!), we have witnessed countless “game changing” technologies that have evolved to individually affordable and indispensable tools, such as:
Personal computers,
Spreadsheets,
The internet,
Working in digital environments (PDF),
Note taking apps (Evernote),
Social media to learn from, engage with, and generously share our expertise with others,
Cloud storage (Box, Dropbox, Google Drive, etc.),
Collaboration platforms to allow more transparent communication and minimize email use (Slack and Microsoft Teams),
Generative AI (ChatGPT, Claude AI, Google Gemini and NotebookLM, and Perplexity, to name a few).
If you are not engaging with and educating yourself about our rapidly changing world, Don and I will now argue that this is an individual decision that is reckless. This is how strongly we feel about the importance of relentless personal development.
What is most important in your world, and how can you start/keep moving forward on a daily basis? Start small, but start. You deserve to be the best you are capable of being and the world needs your best contributions. Please.
A few thoughts to reflect upon regularly:
“Take what you do seriously. Do not take yourself seriously.” -Twinz Bill and Don Tomoff
“To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift.” -Steve Prefontaine
A theme #TwinzTalk Don and I have lived by throughout our lives is “always be preparing.” This means embracing learning and personal development—for ourselves and to help those in our lives—and encouraging those in our lives to do the same.
“Luck is when preparation meets opportunity”
-Seneca
I prompted ChatGPT to interpret and explain the quote further. The response is worth sharing and is included at the conclusion of this post.
Opportunities will present themselves in our lives in unimagined ways. We should continually ask ourselves, “In my areas of interests/responsibilities, am I diligently and consistently working to be prepared to the best of my abilities?” The example discussed below could not have been imagined a mere five years ago!
“I have had exactly three (3) jaw-dropping AI moments over the past 18 months. One of them just happened.”
“3. Google’s NotebookLM
This was just in the past week.
This is one of these things where you have to hear it to believe it. You’ve probably heard how it can create realistic sounding podcasts out of long boring documents, with two people speaking.
But it REALLY SOUNDS like two people are talking. I’m not going to try to explain it, because that would be like trying to explain how cool a card trick was.
Go to the website, you can try it for free. Or don’t, I don’t care. But unless you experience it, you don’t get it.
What this changed for me was a new way of absorbing information. People love podcasts for a reason – they’re easier to digest and learn from than long research documents.”
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An opportunity for a use case of NotebookLM came to my mind when talking with Don about the hype and potential to consider trying out this new AI evolution. Since June 2020, my wife Terri and I have been active writers. I have written four unpublished memoirs. My fourth memoir was a gift to Don, titled Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes.
Using NotebookLM, I uploaded a PDF of the memoir (77 pages) and requested an Audio Overview. In only a couple of minutes, an audio file of less than eight minutes was provided. Preparation met an unimaginable opportunity, and the result was jaw-dropping! Preparation (I had a 77-page memoir in PDF format) met opportunity (the availability of the AI audio capability in NotebookLM), which resulted in the luck of generating a priceless AI audio overview conversation about the memoir! Don and I were stunned by the result.
I encourage you to listen to the audio conversation if you are interested in learning more about our lifelong adventure as twin brothers with similar interests. We believe the overview beautifully summarizes the unpublished memoir I wrote and gifted to Don in December 2023.
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ChatGPT Interpretation and Explanation of Seneca’s Quote
The quote by Seneca, “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity,” underscores a fundamental Stoic belief that what often appears to be “luck” is not purely a matter of chance, but rather a result of one’s readiness to act when the right moment arises.
Stoic Interpretation
Preparation as a Foundation: In Stoicism, preparation is within our control—it involves cultivating wisdom, developing our skills, and continuously striving to improve ourselves. This prepares us for future challenges or opportunities that are outside our control. Seneca suggests that we should not passively wait for luck but actively engage in self-improvement to be ready for any situation that may come.
Opportunity and External Events: Opportunity often arrives unexpectedly and is not something we can control. However, Stoics believe that by staying vigilant and practicing awareness, we can recognize these moments when they appear. Since the Stoics valued rational action, being prepared means we can seize the opportunity and respond in a way that aligns with our values.
Luck as a Blend of Control and Acceptance: The Stoic view on luck is that it’s not entirely random but a combination of being prepared (which we can control) and recognizing the external opportunities (which we cannot control). To Seneca, this is why what many see as “luck” is simply the outcome of consistent preparation over time.
By understanding that our “luck” is often rooted in our preparedness, Seneca emphasizes personal responsibility and focusing on what we can control. This aligns with the Stoic principle of living a life where we proactively build our capacity to respond effectively to the world.
Key Takeaway
This quote invites us to see ourselves as active participants in creating “luck” by being prepared and vigilant. Rather than waiting for chance, the Stoic approach is to live with purpose and readiness so that when opportunity strikes, we’re positioned to make the most of it.
September 9, 2024 | ncaCPA Fall Conference | #TwinzTalk Don and Bill Tomoff#TwinzTalk Encouragement – Always be learning and do your best!
