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Tiny Drips Creating Huge Impact: Unlocking Your Potential Through Daily Habits

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude AI

This post explores the transformative power of adopting small, positive habits and committing to them daily. Drawing from experiences as competitive distance runners, my twin Don and I share how our discipline developed through running, benefiting all aspects of our lives.

The importance of consistency and perseverance is emphasized, with personal examples of my habits intentionally cultivated since 2012. Examples include daily reading, planking, writing, and flossing. When practiced consistently, small habits can lead to remarkable results over time.

References to James Clear’s “Atomic Habits” and Seth Godin’s blog posts underscore the impact of showing up every day. A personal story about my son Ryan’s cancer diagnosis illustrates how life events can suddenly bring clarity to our priorities, highlighting the importance of focusing on what truly matters.

Readers are encouraged to reflect on their lives, make intentional choices about where they dedicate their energy, and consider adopting small, positive habits. The post argues that consistent practice not only leads to personal growth but can also inspire us to help others and approach life with gratitude and kindness.

Ultimately, the message is clear: small, daily actions compound over time, leading to significant personal development and positive life changes.

Full Original Writing

Adopt one small positive habit, and commit to showing up for daily execution.

For twin Don and I, our careers as competitive distance runners refined attributes within us that have benefitted our careers and lives. In high school and college, we developed the habit of incorporating our training regimen into every single day. Yes, off days were planned, but we learned the journey to being our best selves meant unwavering dedication and perseverance day in and day out, a lesson that has inspired us in all aspects of our lives.

Over many years, we achieved continual improvement and understood hard work and consistency win in the long run. Throughout college, in our careers, and our lifetime of personal development, consistency is woven into the fabric of “who we are.”

Of course, our distance running careers involved a commitment of a couple of hours per day, but we now prioritize [very] small habits daily. The practice of showing up and executing daily compounds in unimagined ways. Once the results are experienced with one habit, the desire and commitment build to adopt another habit, then another, and before long, a steady daily routine is built that can change your life!

You may think, “I don’t have time to fit one more thing on my list of priorities.” In a blog by Seth Godin, shared further below, he notes:

“Keep showing up. If it matters, keep showing up.” We often have the good fortune of deciding what matters to us and how to spend our most precious, nonrenewable asset: time. However, inevitably, we will also have priorities thrust upon us – the life-altering moment in my and my family’s lives was the 1996 diagnosis of my son, Ryan, with childhood cancer (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia). October 17, 1996, was a day that provided instant clarity about my swirling list of “important” matters. The only things that mattered were dedicating my time and energy to saving Ryan’s life and supporting my family. Terri Tomoff published a memoir, The Focused Fight, in March 2021, sharing our family and Ryan’s story of successfully battling cancer five times.

2004 – Bill and Ryan Tomoff – Bald heads before Duke PBMT trip

I do not want anyone to have clarity forced upon them. Yet, I want to encourage everyone to prioritize time for reflection and do the internal work of intentionally assessing their choices about where they dedicate their energies. Please.

James Clear’s book Atomic Habits is inspiring and I highly suggest reading and keeping a copy close by for future reference. A YouTube video, Tiny Habits that Create Remarkable Results, by After Skool provides a beautiful nine-minute animated summary. A key point (many discussed in the video!) is that we must realize that “Your outcomes in life are a lagging measure of your habits.” Thus, establishing positive habits that are small and easy (so small that you can tackle the habit(s) every day) is the key to making long-term progress. Consistent positive habits will inspire you and can snowball into other positive habits, which change your life dramatically!

Since 2012, I have intentionally focused on my personal development by making small changes one at a time. My progress and dedication have grown into several daily habits that, over the longer term (say 1,000 days, as Seth Godin discusses in the blog shared below), have rewarded me immensely. I also enjoy the discipline these habits have built into my daily life. The daily habits that I have built into my daily routine include:

  1. Tenacious reader and personal development advocate since September 2012.
  2. Planking daily since March 25, 2018.
  3. Morning reading since January 1, 2020.
  4. I have been writing daily or contemplating ideas for writing for 5 or 10 (often longer) minutes since June 8, 2020.
  5. Involved in writing communities of practice since June 8, 2020. Life-enhancing initiative shared with my wife Terri. These communities are the essence of “We rise by lifting others. (Robert Ingersoll).”
  6. Flossing teeth daily since June 1, 2021. Thank you, Susan Myhr Fritz, for the inspiration!
  7. Being kind and helping others through micro-moves. Approaching each day with a mindset of abundance. We all have gifts to share, and we must be generous with our talents.
  8. Pick up trash regularly. Inspired by the Litterati app initiative shared in this TED Talk.
  9. Pause and be grateful. I am grateful for the gifts in my life and happy for others’ achievements.
  10. Choose to lead. I strive to lead by the example of my actions.
January 19, 2019 – Bill Tomoff Plank at Arsenal Emirates Stadium (London)

Regarding helping others, please read this encouragement from the Daily Stoic, “If you want to feel better, do this.”

“So if you want to feel better today, if you want to find a bright spot in this dark landscape of uncertainty and fear, the solution is simple: Do good. Help others. Be of service. Think less of your problems and try to help others with theirs. You’ll be amazed at the happiness this brings… to you and to them.”

As I referenced above, Seth Godin often stresses the importance of the long-term persistence of showing up every day. Please read the following quick blogs of encouragement:

One thousand little steps

“And every one of those improvements was met with resistance. Every change was fought, tooth (!) and nail. Every one had critics and skeptics and hold outs.

That’s how the world changes. By drips. Persistent, generous, tiny drips.“

The drip

“Change, real change, is the result of focused persistence.”

“The challenging part, and the reason that change doesn’t happen as often as it should is that we get distracted. Today’s urgent is more urgent than yesterday’s important.”

“There are very few overnight successes. Very few… got there with thunder and lighting. It happens with a drip.”

“Keep showing up. If it matters, keep showing up.”

Think about a small, positive habit you can start today and commit to for the long haul. Consistency is key to unlocking your potential for success. While this concept is simple to grasp, the execution requires dedication. Be the person who perseveres.

When to start? Not “one day,” instead make today “day one.”

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Incremental Excellence: Compounding Personal Growth through a Daily Drip

We all have active schedules and tasks that “must get done.” Throughout our careers and lives, twin Don and I have too often seen folks prioritize and let the day-to-day urgent matters overwhelm the opportunity to do the more important work of the long-term potential of investing in their personal development. Our quest is to shine the light on the disservice we all do to ourselves (and others) when we do not prioritize the important work of investing in ourselves.

“But what does Socrates say? “Just as one person delights in improving his farm, and another his horse, so I delight in attending to my own improvement day by day.””

—Epictetus, Discourses, 3.5.14

When we think of “investing,” the common thought turns to investing money or saving for our future. Taking care of our financial needs is another critical topic, but here, the emphasis is investing our resources into ourselves toward developing our best talent and potential. There are no shortcuts to improving ourselves. We must show up daily and persist in doing the work required to refine our talents. The excellent news is that daily small incremental investments in ourselves compound exponentially over time.

“Every small positive change we make in ourselves repays us in confidence in the future.”

—Alice Walker

Seth Godin, in the blogs shared below, makes compelling observations:

Where are your assets?

“Do work and get paid once. Build an asset and get paid for as long as it lasts.“

The drip. In this post, Seth shares the magic of showing up and persisting to make real change.

“Change, real change, is the result of focused persistence.”

“The challenging part, and the reason that change doesn’t happen as often as it should is that we get distracted. Today’s urgent is more urgent than yesterday’s important.”

“Keep showing up. If it matters, keep showing up.”

Several benefits of prioritizing personal development include:

  1. Building an asset: As Seth notes, building an asset for ourselves is valuable and something you own.
  2. Leading by example: When we challenge ourselves to grow, we can inspire others to do the same.
  3. Help others: We are better positioned to help others as our skills increase. We must not lose sight of developing ourselves to contribute more to the world.
  4. Increased adaptability: Personal development enhances our ability to adapt to changing circumstances, making us more resilient to challenges.
  5. Enhanced self-awareness: By investing in personal growth, we gain a deeper understanding of our strengths, weaknesses, values, and motivations.
  6. Improved decision-making: As we develop ourselves, we refine our critical thinking skills and gain new perspectives, leading to better decision-making in various aspects of life.
  7. Greater sense of fulfillment: Pursuing personal growth often leads to a stronger sense of purpose and satisfaction in life.
  8. Better relationships: Personal development can improve our emotional intelligence, communication skills, and empathy, leading to healthier and more meaningful relationships.
  9. Increased productivity: By honing our skills and improving our habits, we become more efficient and effective in our daily tasks.
  10. Expanded opportunities: As we grow and develop new skills, we open ourselves to new career paths and life experiences.
  11. Continuous learning mindset: Embracing personal development fosters a lifelong love of learning, keeping our minds sharp and engaged.
  12. Increased self-confidence: Our self-confidence naturally grows as we overcome challenges and achieve personal goals.
  13. Enhanced creativity: Personal growth often involves exploring new ideas and perspectives, which can boost our creative thinking abilities.

Personal development is not just a luxury; it’s necessary for anyone seeking a fulfilling and impactful life. The benefits we’ve explored – from building valuable personal assets to enhancing our adaptability and creativity – demonstrate the profound impact that consistent self-improvement can have on our lives and those around us.

I hope my thoughts help inspire you to reflect on how dedicating time daily to personal development, learning, and growth can exponentially improve your day-to-day performance and provide you with much fulfillment. Remember, as Epictetus wisely noted, there’s a unique delight in attending to our improvement day by day. Keep showing up, stay persistent, and witness the small, daily investments in yourself compound into remarkable transformations over time. Choose the steady drip of daily personal development. Don’t say “one day” instead, make today “day one.” Your future self will thank you!

Continual Education – 5 Hour Rule (Compounding impact)
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Choose Possibility: How Small Shifts in Thinking Can Create Big Changes

Over the past five years, my daily reading of the Stoicism philosophy has often reflected the importance of managing our minds. How we think, interpret, and respond to external events.

Am I prioritizing my efforts to use the gift of my mind and the opportunity for rational thought? I contemplate this question daily as I strive to bring my best talents and abilities to the world.

In this post, I focus on shifting our mindset to one of possibility. Here are a few resources to inspire you to approach your life through a lens of possibility:

In his blog post, A Commitment to Possibility, Seth Godin notes:

“So many people to connect with, so many things to learn. Doors to open, helping hands to be offered.

The magic of our time is that forward motion multiplies and ideas can be shared like never before.”

The second resource comes from the twinz book recommendations – The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life by Rosamund and Benjamin Zander. Read and share this book. Inspiration guaranteed!

Bill Tomoff with book The Art of Possibility

In this three-minute video, Ben shares examples of the power of possibility.

“You can choose one of two ways of being every single moment of your life. You can either be in what we call “the down spiral” or radiating possibility.”

“Radiating possibility is a discipline. It’s a rigorous discipline. That is why you have to practice, and practice, and practice, and practice. [Have people in your life who are open to possibility]”

James Clear, author of the book Atomic Habits, wrote this review of The Art of Possibility. Highlights I especially enjoyed:

  • Everything in life is based on your reference frame. Look at things in a new way and suddenly your problems fade away.
  • Instead of focusing on how you measure up, focus on how you contribute to the world around you. Contribution is not measured based on other people. It’s only measured based on what you put into the world around you. That’s it. If you add something, you contributed.
  • The conductor can lead the most powerful orchestra in the world, but does not make a sound. His or her only power is in getting the players to produce the beautiful sound they are capable of.
  • Rule #6: Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. [Bill and Don #TwinzTalk LOVE this rule!]
  • The more attention you shine on a subject, the more evidence of it you find. This is how downward spiral talk escalates into a reality.

As we navigate life’s challenges and opportunities, adopting a mindset of possibility can profoundly impact our experiences and outcomes. By embracing and practicing possibility, we open ourselves to a world of potential. Possibility is a practice, a discipline that requires consistent effort and mindfulness. By cultivating this mindset, we can enrich our lives and contribute to a more optimistic world. The choice is yours every second of every day: will you spiral downward or radiate possibility? Choose possibility!

Possibility Coffee Mug
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From Tasks to Transformation: Redefining Leadership in the Modern Workplace

“𝘿𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨.”

Throughout our careers, Don Tomoff, MBA, and I have prioritized and felt responsible, as part of our leadership goals, for developing the people we work with daily. How can we help others grow through micro-moments of engaging in a learning opportunity and pausing for 5 or 10 minutes to slow down and talk through a challenge or difficult concept?

Over time, everyone becomes stronger as the learning moments compound and then build exponentially over the long haul. Too often, we rush through our days, exclaiming (unfortunately, often proudly), “I am busy! I have too much to do to allow the luxury of slowing down to prioritize learning.” This is shortsighted and a colossal mistake.

Seth Godin recently released a Udemy course, “This is Strategy with Seth Godin.” In Lesson 27, “Toward a Strategic Practice,” he challenges us to think about how we spend our professional time. “We only get today once. It is the asset that each of us gets to deploy once—today. Is it possible to develop a practice of being strategic?”

Seth argues that there are three choices for how we spend our time at work:

* 𝗧𝗮𝘀𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗲𝘀 (most people) that can possibly be outsourced.

* 𝗟𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲. We can be writing specs and managing people who are following the specs (outsourcing possible – not done often enough).

* 𝗘𝘅𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗼𝗿. “To confront resistance. To become incompetent in the face of learning.” When we lean into these moments (maybe 5 minutes a day), we are truly being strategic.

Exerting emotional labor is the most important work. This is the 5 or 10 minutes that Don and I frequently encourage and challenge others to embrace the discomfort of learning something new. 𝙄𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙍𝙐𝙉 𝙩𝙤𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙮. Pictured below is a moment of celebration of learning with a previous coworker. Helping others enhance their skills is very gratifying!

2019 – Don and Bill Tomoff with coworker celebrating a learning session!
Continual Education – 5 Hour Rule (Compounding impact)

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Beyond Publication: Embracing the True Value of Writing for Personal Growth

Why do I write?

An unexpected life-enhancing change occurred for me starting on June 8, 2020, when my wife Terri and I enrolled in a community of practice (Writing In Community) dedicated to writing a book over a six-month period. We committed to showing up daily for at least 15 minutes. The process took hold of us, and we both fell in love with writing, which helped us bring clarity to our world. Writing helps us make sense of our thoughts, and we both advocate for encouraging others to adopt regular writing practices!

In my blog post Discovering Myself Through Memoir: A Journey of Self-Reflection and Gratitude, I noted the gift of four unpublished memoirs I completed:

“My efforts have resulted in four unpublished memoirs that I have completed. I have gained tremendous enjoyment from writing these memoirs and fulfillment knowing the thoughts, appreciation, and memories I ultimately leave for my family. The four memoirs have now made it possible to think about and more clearly articulate my body of work through the blessing of my 65-plus years of life.”

Conveying the value that writing has brought to me is difficult to explain. I recently read a beautiful Substack post from Jennifer Loudon that resonated with me. In her post, It’s a Beautiful Thing So Many People Want to Write a Book (or anything for that matter), Jennifer notes:

“A few years ago I was at a dinner party and another woman went on a rant about how people who weren’t talented at writing and hadn’t been published by “real” publishers had no right to call themselves writers. All I could think as she blathered on was, “You poor thing. How badly you must want to write and how harsh someone must have been to you once upon a time.””

“When you use writing to pass what’s in your mind and heart to someone else’s mind and heart, that’s amazing. It’s magic as far as I’m concerned. When you carve meaning out of this chaotic cacophony of life, I applaud you. When you dare to be seen in your own writing, to be seen by you or someone else, what you believe, what you know, what you’ve experienced, that’s glorious. When you offer a hand made of words to another person or yourself, a hand that says, “Take this, use what you need. You are not alone,” that’s making a miracle.

Nobody gets to stop or judge your desire to write and create. And those that try are most likely like the woman at the party — terrified they will die without having declared their stories, their ideas, their spirit. Terrified by the ghosts of judges and gatekeepers and other stifled creatives into a silence that chokes.”

Writing isn’t just for published authors – it’s for everyone. It’s a gift you give yourself and others. So if you want to write anything, please write. You don’t need a published book to be a writer. You need only the courage to put words on a page.

Through writing, I found clarity I never knew I lacked. You, too, will uncover hidden depths within yourself, illuminating your thoughts and experiences in ways you never imagined. Whether you share your words with family and friends, on a blog, or in a book, you’re offering a precious gift.

As Jen beautifully puts it, “When you offer a hand made of words to another person or yourself, a hand that says, ‘Take this, use what you need. You are not alone,’ that’s making a miracle.”

Don’t let anyone discourage your dreams. Don’t let fear silence your voice. Write for yourself, for others, and the sheer joy of creation. Go now and start making your miracle. The world is waiting for your words.

December 2021 – Terri and Bill Tomoff with Books Written
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Beyond the Resume: Embracing the Whole Person in a Work-Life Integrated World

“Everyone has a story.”

There are differing thoughts on how much our personal and professional lives should be balanced. I have evolved through my career to firmly believe in “Work/life integration” vs. “Work/life balance.” The conversation and prevalence of integrating our work and personal lives have been more acutely discussed since the escalation of remote work resulting from the COVID-19 pandemic starting in 2020. In my life, work/life integration was the key to my survival. My son Ryan’s diagnosis of childhood cancer in 1996 demanded a personal commitment and an understanding from my employers and colleagues that is unthinkable in most professional environments. Yet, I was profoundly blessed to have the necessary professional support to survive personally and professionally.

A byproduct of the support I received was that In my leadership roles, I have always sought to understand that we all have stories and challenges in our lives that no one knows about. Caring about others and the macro-level demands they are facing in their lives is an intelligent business strategy, but more importantly, it is the right thing to do. We all are in this life together. In my in-person and social media interactions, I strive to understand the “complete person” regarding their interests, personality, and demands outside their professional roles. A resulting benefit is the building of more productive and genuine relationships. This is the world I want to live in.

As you will note in my blog posts, I fully embrace and share my life experiences. These experiences have shaped me into the person I am today, and they enhance my personal and professional lives.

Through my blog at BillTomoff (dot) com, I have written 71 blog posts from 2017 through July 1, 2024. I share personal and professional thoughts and am interested in helping others. The posts have been compiled in a PDF document, and then I collaborated with Claude AI to summarize “my story” based on my blog content. Anyone desiring to learn more about me could gain insight into my interests, expertise, and personal beliefs (i.e., let’s be kind to each other), and my style may resonate with others. These are the people I want in my tribe to engage and collaborate with!

#TwinzTalk Encouragement – Always be learning and do your best!

Below are my prompt and Claude AI’s [edited] response. Claude did an incredible job providing me with content to start working with. The summary shared is the essence of my life and beliefs, which I am dedicated to living and practicing for the rest of my life.

Prompt:

“Please read and review the attached PDF of blog posts. You are an expert ghostwriter, and I would like you to tell me what is important to the author based on his writing content. Take a deep breath and take your time responding.”

Response:

“Based on a thorough review of the blog posts, here are some key themes and values that appear to be important to the author, Bill Tomoff:

  1. Personal Growth and Continuous Learning: The author emphasizes personal development, lifelong learning, and consistent dedication to improving oneself. He regularly encourages reading, attending courses, and seeking new knowledge.
  2. Family: Family is a central priority for the author. Many posts reference his wife Terri, son Ryan, daughter Olivia, and twin brother Don. His family’s journey through his son’s cancer diagnosis and five-time cancer battles and treatment has profoundly shaped his worldview.
  3. Resilience and Post-Traumatic Growth: The author often discusses the concept of growing stronger through adversity, particularly with his son’s cancer experience. He believes in the possibility of emerging from difficult experiences as an improved, kinder, and more compassionate person.
  4. Kindness and Compassion: Treating others with gentleness and kindness is a recurring theme. The author frequently encourages readers to be tolerant, patient, and understanding of others, as everyone is fighting their own battles.
  5. Gratitude: The author emphasizes the importance of a grateful outlook on life, even during challenging times.
  6. Time Management and Prioritization: Many posts discuss the importance of using time wisely, focusing on what truly matters, and learning to say no to less important commitments.
  7. Stoicism: The author frequently references Stoic philosophy and its principles, which he strives to apply to challenges in his daily life.
  8. Helping Others: There’s a strong emphasis on using one’s skills and experiences to benefit others, whether through professional work, volunteering, or everyday interactions. “We rise by lifting others.”
  9. Technology and Innovation: The author and his twin are passionate about leveraging technology to enhance personal and professional effectiveness and create a greater possibility of making a more significant contribution to the world.
  10. Health and Self-Care: Physical health and mental well-being are recurring themes, with the author emphasizing the importance of self-care practices.
  11. Professional Excellence: The author does not prioritize career over family but values doing one’s best work and continually improving professional skills.
  12. Community and Connection: The author values and encourages participation in supportive online and in-person communities (social media and communities of practice).
  13. Writing and Reflection: Writing itself is an important practice for the author, serving as a tool for processing experiences and sharing insights.

These themes interweave throughout the blog posts, painting a picture of an individual deeply committed to personal growth, family, kindness, and positively impacting the world around him.”

Through sharing my story in my blog posts, I’ve realized that our personal and professional lives are intricately intertwined. All of our experiences can bring more value to our lives and others. The experiences that have shaped me have profoundly influenced my approach to work and life. Being open about these experiences will inspire a world where we see each other as individuals with meaningful lives beyond our professional roles. We can create more genuine connections by embracing kindness, continuous learning, and a willingness to help others. As we move forward, let’s remember that everyone has a story – and by taking the time to understand these stories, we can build a more compassionate and integrated world, both in and out of the workplace.

What is your story?

2024-03-13 – Bill Tomoff with Four Memoirs Written
April 15, 2023 Family in London Attending Tottenham Spurs EPL Game
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The Power of No: Reclaiming Your Time Through Intentional Decision-Making

Let’s empower ourselves by recognizing the critical importance of our choices with the time we are blessed with. In my blog post, Time Wealth: Prioritizing Mental Bandwidth in the Knowledge Economy, I discussed my time crisis and the resulting awareness that my choices of priorities were essential to surviving my son Ryan’s battles with childhood cancer and beyond.

Shortly after, a Daily Stoic email resonated deeply with the core of my message. The post, titled ‘Do You Dominate the Battlespace?‘ by Ryan Holiday, echoes the importance of our mental battlespace. He urges us to take control. He explains:

“All of these things are vying for what military strategists today would call “the battlespace.” Our mind is a contested bit of territory, with many people seeking to control what we call “the empire between your ears” – Why? Because your brain, your attention, is valuable. People want you to think about certain things and not think about certain things–because it’s good for business, because it makes you easier to control.”

“So you must dominate this battlespace. It is you who must assert yourself over yourself.”

“We too must grab the reins of our mind, set up boundaries against distraction, push away intrusive thoughts, tune out nonsense and noise. That’s what Stoicism is, as we wrote recently, it’s the gladiator stepping out into the arena of the mind, dominating the battlespace, controlling their own mind…because the alternative–letting the enemy dominate, letting your mind be controlled by someone or something else–is just unthinkable.”

This passage sums up well that our mind is under our control. Yet, too often, we give away our time by allowing our minds to be engaged in meaningless or dangerous activities. This is why we must be aware and establish boundaries to protect our mental well-being.

In addition to maintaining healthy boundaries around where we are willing to apply our precious time and minds, we must strive to continually learn and grow in ways that permit us to maximize the use of our time and mental bandwidth.

I have discovered several posts that resonate with the importance of managing our minds and being judicious about where we prioritize our time. Rajesh Setty is a favorite follow on my LinkedIn. This post, “One Approach to Cultivate a Beautiful Mind Garden,” was inspiring and thought-provoking. I encourage you to follow Rajesh and read his entire post, but consider this insight he shared:

“A beautiful garden has good plants and trees that bear fruits and flowers. It also lacks weeds that grow easily on their own. Removing weeds takes effort. If you don’t maintain the garden, weeds will grow, requiring more time to remove them. This means less time for nurturing the beautiful parts of the garden.

The same goes for the mind. Information doesn’t come with nutrition labels. When information enters your mind through news, ideas, conversations, projects, and work, there’s usually no filter. Your mind will use it’s previous capacity to process this unfiltered information even to determine the nature (good, bad, relevant, irrelevant etc.) of it. In the world where both people and machines are creating content at breathtaking speed, you can easily get carried away in one or the other content rabbit holes.

To make a beautiful garden of the mind, use the power of curation. In my life, I prioritize curation highly. I don’t watch news or read newspapers unless someone points out something relevant to the projects I am involved and something that’s within my sphere of influence. Occasionally, I let my mind wander by design to ensure that there is room for some surprise and serendipity.”

In addition to remaining aware and informed of our choices to prioritize our mind share, we should filter what we dedicate our time and energies to as best as possible. Here are a few steps to quickly help in assessing choices:

  1. Do I need to be involved? Eliminating unnecessary involvement of your energy is the number one time hack.
  2. If I need to be involved, how can I maximize my impact with the least mental energy and time commitment?
  3. Will my involvement allow me to grow and help others in the future? Note that having opinions, being judgemental, and expending energy toward gossip and mainstream news are time sucks, taking away from making a meaningful contribution to ourselves and others.
  4. Once I dedicate my time, am I prepared to make the best use of it, or am I doing something I love, like spending time with family and hobbies? Think of the Pareto Principle, also known as the 80/20 rule.

A few additional resources that have resonated with me:

A Learning a Day blog shared two concepts that are worth understanding. For many decisions, we must be aware of the time we commit and contemplate, “What is the minimum viable information I need to get moving and get comfortable with a decision?“

Directional Answers and Precise Answers

“I use a simple rule of thumb for the difference between attempting to convert a directional answer into a precise answer—10x+ time investment.”

In our lives and with our #TwinzTalk initiative, Don and I have given ourselves a disproportionate advantage by seeking directional answers to get us moving forward. Technology testing and adoption have always started with a vision of the potential rather than a precise answer to the ultimate benefit. Seeking directional insight vs. [often unattainable] precision, we can reach more learning opportunities and possibilities to leverage technology.

Tanmay Vora Sketchnote – Move and the Way Appears

Satisficers and Maximizers

“Barry Schwartz’s research showed that people tend to fall into one of two groups when making decisions – he called these groups satisficers and maximizers. Maximizers desire the best possible result, while satisficers desire a result that is good enough to meet some criterion. That doesn’t necessarily mean satisficers settle for crap. Their criteria could be lofty – but, as long as it meets that criteria, they don’t care about it being the best.

Barry Schwartz argues that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers as maximizers spend a lot of time and energy on many decisions that just don’t matter as much.”

Don and I both share the satisficer tendency. We have saved ourselves time and energy, while also being content with our decisions. Talk about a win-win!

Maximizing everything is time-consuming. The number of choices available to us is overwhelming. Settling on “good enough” is a gift we can give ourselves. If you have yet to see Barry Schwartz’s TED Talk, The Paradox of Choice, prioritize time to watch it. I guarantee a few laughs and several “aha” moments.

In today’s world, where information is everywhere and everything moves fast, managing what we think about and focus on is important. By understanding how valuable our time and attention are, setting clear limits on what we let in, and being careful about what we think, we can live a more focused life, get more done, and feel more satisfied. The secret is making smart choices on purpose. Our most valuable thing isn’t money or material possessions – it’s our limited time and brain power. If we focus on what’s really important and let go of the rest, we can build “time-wealth.” This means we have time to grow, do good things for the world, and live happier lives. We all have the power to control what goes on in our minds – so let’s make wise choices. 

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Personal Connection: How One Question Transformed an Advanced Excel and Generative AI Presentation

I have joined an initiative with Katy Dalgleish, Julie Rains, and my wife, Terri. We meet virtually once or twice weekly to discuss Seth’s lessons in “This is Strategy.”

While we quickly cover a lot of ground, and Seth’s messages deserve greater focus and discussion, I enjoy the process from the perspective that “we never know where thoughts/ideas will collide,” and a practical use application will surface.

During a drive to Ocean City, MD, for the Maryland Government Finance Officers Association (MDGFOA) conference, I was contemplating Seth’s video five, which highlighted “16 questions to begin” as we approach the work of strategy.

While Don and I find our personal development work very compelling, convincing others of the value of committing their time to investing in themselves is a huge obstacle. As Seth notes in video five, “They don’t know what you know. They don’t want what you want.” These two sentences sat with me while we were driving and talking about the presentation Don would share over three and one-half hours starting at 1:00 PM.

How could we modify the presentation to turn the attention of the attendees and emphasize our mission is to enhance their professional performance and ability to contribute exponentially?

June 26, 2024 | Don and Bill Tomoff at Maryland Government Finance Officers Association Conference

Within the 16 questions, the following five reminded me that answers to these questions might help inspire the attendees to dedicate themselves to embracing personal growth. With each question, I have added brief thoughts on how our work impacts those on the receiving side:

Am I changing someone’s status quo?

Learning and development do change someone’s status quo. Embracing the initiative of personal growth is a commitment and a change that many find difficult. It often involves discomfort and requires time prioritization involving tradeoffs we would rather not deal with. The easy answer is to avoid changing anything in our daily lives that is already working for us.

Why would anyone voluntarily choose to be part of this work?

If you ask anyone, “Would you like to improve your critical thinking, skill set, and ability to contribute more significantly?” Most people would respond with a resounding “YES!” Choosing this more challenging yet rewarding path of personal development will change your life as the daily effort compounds over time, and the gratifying reward of growth becomes a part of your daily life.

What will they tell their colleagues?

Don and I think the magic can begin when word of mouth spreads to colleagues. As we learn and experience the rewards of learning, helping others must become an individual practice. Avid learners love to help others by sharing their expertise. And when we teach, we learn more.

Who gains in status, affiliation and power by supporting this work?

When personal development is embraced, the enhanced talents are noticed in the long run. By their example, learners inspire others to learn and can be recognized for their contributing abilities. The learner reaches levels of performance that are noticed by others. As learners are noticed, their status, affiliation, and power will grow.

Will early support translate into more support later?

Early support and the possible success that others achieve can elevate word-of-mouth and create a snowball of support as even more learn about successes achieved because of an individual decision to invest in themselves. Witnessing the growth of others and the successes they reach is very gratifying for Don and me. 

We hoped to change the “vibe” of the presentation, so we started with a heartfelt question. This start was as if we were sitting down and sharing a sincere conversation, saying, “We are on your side, and we want to help you.”

“Before we get started, I would like everyone to take a minute and reflect on the following: “What are two or three of the most important things in your life? Not only professionally, but overall.”

Posing this question and the ensuing brief conversation about “What is important to YOU?” made the audience more curious and receptive.

The responses we have received were in line with our thoughts and included the following:

  • Family
  • Focusing on self-care
  • Enjoying hobbies
  • Making a difference
  • Feeling a greater purpose

“Our goal today? We want to help you reclaim your time to enable you to prioritize more time for the most important aspects of your life.”

Then, towards the end of the day, to wrap the session, Don reiterated:

“Remember, the overall theme of what we are doing today: We want to help you reclaim your time for the most important things in your life.”

The session and the audience engagement were inspiring. Had our last-minute modification to starting the presentation made a difference for the entire day? We believe so and plan to continue using and refining this change in future presentations!

During our debrief of the presentation, Don and I agreed that starting with the personal question, “What is most important to you?” changed the tone of the entire day. The attendees’ engagement during the session and one-on-one discussions afterward led us to conclude that we must build this momentum into the future!

To help evaluate and evolve the approach in the future, I collaborated with ChatGPT to assess our thoughts and then asked for suggestions for improvement. The response from ChatGPT has spurred our creativity. The prompt and response are provided below.

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Collaboration with ChatGPT

Prompt:

My twin Don and I are working on modifying the kickoff to our discussions about technology and gen AI adoption (e.g., ChatGPT) when making presentations. Focusing on the audience and asking them to consider what is most important in their lives is a way to increase interest and curiosity and ultimately encourage the adoption of our suggestions.

Please read the revision below and let us know your thoughts. You are an expert presenter who can inspire others to take action. Please take a deep breath and carefully think before you respond. This change is significant, and we want it to have the maximum effect on the success of our efforts.

“Before we get started, I would like everyone to take one minute and reflect on the following: “What are two or three of the most important things in your life? Not only professionally, but overall.”

Started the session with this question. Posing this question and the brief conversation about “What is important to YOU?” made the audience more curious and receptive.

Responses included:

  • Family
  • self-care
  • hobbies
  • greater purpose

“Our goal today? We want to help you reclaim your time to enable you to prioritize more time for the most important aspects in your life.”

to wrap the session:

“Remember, the overall theme of what we are doing today: We want to help you reclaim your time for the most important things in your life.”

Response:

Your revised approach for the kickoff of your technology and AI adoption discussions is well-crafted and focuses on what truly matters to the audience. Here’s a refined version to enhance clarity, engagement, and the impact of your presentation:

Opening:

“Before we get started, I’d like everyone to take a moment and reflect on this question: ‘What are the two or three most important things in your life, not just professionally, but overall?'”

Pause for reflection.

“Take a minute to think about it. What truly matters to you? Responses included:

  • Family
  • Self-care
  • Hobbies
  • Greater purpose

Starting our session with this question often makes everyone more curious and receptive.”

Transition:

“Our goal today is to help you reclaim time to prioritize what’s most important in your life.”

Wrap-up:

“Remember, the overall theme of what we are doing today is to help you reclaim your time for the most important things in your life.”

Thoughts and Suggestions:

1. Engagement: Starting with a reflective question is a great way to engage the audience and make the session personal. This strategy fosters a connection between the technology you’re discussing and the audience’s personal lives, making your message more relatable and compelling.

2. Clarity: By clearly listing typical responses, you guide the audience in their reflection and make it easier for them to relate.

3. Consistency: Repeating the theme of reclaiming time throughout your presentation reinforces your message and keeps the audience focused on the ultimate benefit of adopting the technology.

4. Empathy: Your approach shows empathy and understanding of the audience’s needs and values, which can increase their openness to your suggestions.

This refined structure ensures your presentation is engaging, clear, and impactful, helping you achieve your goal of fostering curiosity and adoption of your recommendations.

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The Diagnosis That Taught Our Family Everything: Childhood Cancer’s Lessons for Life and Love

“Your child has cancer.” My wife, Terri, and I heard these words on October 17, 1996. Our son, Ryan, at two years and two months old, was diagnosed with childhood cancer (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia). In an instant, our lives, and the lives of Ryan and our four-year-old daughter Olivia, were changed forever.

As I write this in June 2024, 27+ years later, Ryan is [closely monitored and] doing well today. He is a five-time cancer survivor – 3x childhood leukemia and 2x adult tongue cancer (secondary malignancies resulting from the extensive treatments he received through his wars with leukemia). In March 2021, Terri published her memoir The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey from Mayhem to Miracles, detailing Ryan and our family’s journey through what often felt like impossible times.

Our heart breaks every time we hear of a family receiving the news that their child has cancer. A child and family stricken with cancer through no fault of their own. I pray no one reading this is facing a childhood cancer situation, yet we know bad things happen, and our lifelong mission is to be a gentle shoulder of support for others impacted as we have been. Maybe this helps one person, one family, piece together the swirling insanity that is happening in the center of their lives.

With this introduction, I will offer my list of “Life lessons learned from dealing with a childhood cancer diagnosis:“

October 1996 – Ryan and Bill Tomoff – Georgetown Hospital

Life is not fair.

  • If we are blessed to live long enough, realizing the randomness and unfairness of life events will strike us. There is tragedy and heartbreak happening all around us.

“Life breaks all of us, but some of us get stronger in the broken places.”—Ernest Hemingway.

Work is important. Family is EVERYTHING. Carpe Diem.

  • Treasure each day. Life contentment is in the small, everyday, ordinary moments. Recognize and embrace the “ordinary.”
  • Small things are not small things.

Keep your eye on the ball. Thank you, Abe Pollin.

  • Be determined and unapologetic in identifying and setting boundaries around your priorities. Learning to kindly yet firmly say “no” is imperative.

People need people.

  • You are not alone.
  • Thinking “I/we can handle this” is dangerous and not helpful. Seek, be open to, and be willing to ask for help. People want to help – accept their generosity and commit to “paying it forward” into the world one day.
  • The Postcard Project was a wonderful initiative that gave Ryan hope and inspiration as he endured treatments to get him to his life-saving bone marrow transplant on November 4, 2004.
  • Embrace communities of support. Special Love is our community of support that brings joy through their summer camps dedicated to children fighting cancer and their siblings.

Erica Neubert Campbell shared a quote included in The Focused Fight:

“In a tough situation, few people wake up every morning and say, “I’m going to be resilient today.” Most people under extreme stress wake up with heavy hearts but with a quiet voice that tells them never to give up. Resilience is listening to that small inner voice and finding people and organizations to help you slowly turn up the volume.”

September 1997 – Tomoff Family – Special Love Under 7 Weekend

Your environment matters.

  • Surround yourself with the best. Lift others up, and they will lift you up.

Self-care is imperative.

  • Self-care is not selfish. We cannot pour from an empty cup.

Kindness matters. Prioritize kindness to yourself and others.

  • Sometimes we cannot see a path forward, and are hanging on doing our best. Everyone, in some way, has these moments. “The next step,” a moment of kindness given or received, may propel you or someone else forward for the day.
  • Express appreciation and gratitude. Never default to “this person is just doing their job.” Everyone deserves to be seen.

“Don’t underestimate the power of a chocolate chip cookie.”—Terri Tomoff.

April 2022 – Terri Tomoff and Chocolate Chip Cookies

Don’t ask. Do.

  • Choose to take the initiative.
  • There are many moments in life where we can help meaningfully. In small ways and without permission, a difference can be made.

Everyone has unique gifts. Identify and nurture those gifts.

  • Ryan’s relentless fight and inspiration to the world.
  • Olivia and the gift of soccer to our family.

Trust and know that everyone has a story.

  • “Be gentle. Be kind – you have no idea what someone is going through.”—Bill Tomoff.

Post Traumatic Growth is possible.

We all endure suffering in our lives. David Brooks, in his book The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life, provides a compelling perspective on the meaning of suffering:

“Whether the valley is a personal one or a societal one or both, there’s a lot of suffering. You’re enduring a season of pain, a season of feeling lost. This can be a period of soul-crushing anguish, but it can also be one of the most precious seasons of your life.

John Keats said that we live in a mansion of many apartments. When we’re on the first mountain, we’re living in what Keats called the “thoughtless chamber.” This is the default chamber; we just unthinkingly absorb the values and ways of life that happen to be around us.

We want to stay in this chamber. It’s comfortable, and everybody nods at you with approval. In The Age of Anxiety, W. H. Auden wrote,

We would rather be ruined than changed

We would rather die in our dread

Than climb the cross of the moment

And let our illusions die.

Seasons of suffering kick us in the ass. They are the foghorns that blast us out of our complacency and warn us we are heading for the wrong life.

There’s nothing intrinsically noble about suffering. Sometimes grief is just grief, to be gotten through. Many bad things happen in life, and it’s a mistake to try to sentimentalize these moments away by saying that they must be happening to serve some higher good. But sometimes, when suffering can be connected to a larger narrative of change and redemption, we can suffer our way to wisdom. This is the kind of wisdom you can’t learn from books; you have to experience it yourself. Sometimes you experience your first taste of nobility in the way you respond to suffering.

The theologian Paul Tillich wrote that suffering upsets the normal patterns of life and reminds you that you are not who you thought you were. It smashes through the floor of what you thought was the basement of your soul and reveals a cavity below, and then it smashes through that floor and reveals a cavity below that.

Suffering teaches us gratitude. Normally we take love and friendship for granted. But in seasons of suffering we throw ourselves on others and appreciate the gifts that our loved ones offer. Suffering puts you in solidarity with others who suffer. It makes you more sympathetic to those who share this or some other sort of pain. In this way it tenderizes the heart.

Suffering calls for a response. None of us can avoid suffering, but we can all choose how we respond to it. And, interestingly, few people respond to suffering by seeking pleasure. Nobody says, I lost my child, therefore I should go out and party. They say, I lost my child, and therefore I am equipped to help others who have lost their child. People realize that shallow food won’t satisfy the deep hunger and fill the deep emptiness that suffering reveals. Only spiritual food will do that. Many people respond to pain by practicing generosity.

Finally, suffering shatters the illusion of self-sufficiency, which is an illusion that has to be shattered if any interdependent life is going to begin. Seasons of pain expose the falseness and vanity of most of our ambitions and illuminate the larger reality of living and dying, caring and being cared for. Pain helps us see the true size of our egotistical desires. Before they seemed gigantic and dominated the whole screen. After seasons of suffering, we see that the desires of the ego are very small desires, and certainly not the ones we should organize our lives around. Climbing out of the valley is not like recovering from a disease. Many people don’t come out healed; they come out different. The poet Ted Hughes observed that the things that are the worst to undergo are often the best to remember, because at those low moments the protective shells are taken off, humility is achieved, a problem is clearly presented, and a call to service is clearly received.”

I hope that my perspective provides you an inspiration to move through whatever challenge you are dealing with or enduring. Take this journey of life one day at a time. Do your best. Be kind to yourself and others. Embrace and treasure the ordinary. Believe in better days. We got this.

2004 – Bill and Ryan Tomoff – Bald heads before Duke PBMT trip
June 2024 – Kelleys Island 5K – Ryan walks with Aunt Stephanie

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Time Wealth: Prioritizing Mental Bandwidth in the Knowledge Economy

Throughout my career and then in life challenges (son Ryan battles with childhood cancer and beyond), I learned to deeply understand my time and how I prioritized everything in my life as the most important variables within my control. Time is a nonrenewable asset, and I quickly understood that I had to own my decisions of where I choose to prioritize my energy.

Thanks to years-long encouragement from my wife, Terri, I made a [wise] decision to read more actively to help my learning and growth. Since 2012, reading for personal development has become a non-negotiable priority. The mission is to allocate my efforts to make a more meaningful contribution to the world daily. This starts with owning my decisions of where I focus my mental bandwidth.

Where I focus, these three words are front and center for me. Since I started reading the philosophy of Stoicism in 2019, and have read daily since January 1, 2020. As I noted in a March 2023 blog post, “In Pursuit of Inner Peace: My Stoic Transformation:”

“The Stoicism philosophy profoundly influences my perspective and “how” I handle myself and my emotions daily. Striving every day to develop my mind and embrace the only aspect of life we all control – our reasoned choice. Thoughts such as “it is not necessary to have an opinion, we should be strict with ourselves and forgiving of others (no judgment), and we control our response to any external event – we are harmed only if we believe we are harmed,” are thoughts I hold close to my heart and work to live in practice.”

Embracing my reasoned choice. My remaining life’s work will be to strive to use my mind for good – developing myself and helping others by utilizing my skills and talents. I can and must do better. The work must not stop.

A blog post by Morgan Housel, “Lazy Work, Good Work,” inspired my post here. When we can keep our mind disciplined to focus on learning and good, we can prioritize time for reflection and creativity.  Here is a sample of topics on my “do not do” list – activities I strive to eliminate or actively reduce by being aware of my behavior:

  • Gossip.
  • Expressing an unsolicited opinion.
  • Judgment.
  • Watching or engaging in conversation about mainstream news.
  • Involving myself in other people’s business.

The work regarding my do-not-do list is a never-ending process. I credit my reading of the Stoicism philosophy for helping me.

By reducing the above activities, I will replace my time (and mind) with:

  • Quality time with my family, friends, and communities of practice who inspire and lift me up.
  • Kindness to others and my world.
  • Encouraging others.
  • Helping others through micro-moves taking almost no effort. Social media engagement is an easy micro-move example.
  • Investing in improving myself (as the Optimist Creed states: “To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.”).
  • Be more patient and calm. We all are doing our best to get through each day.

A key component of “investing in improving myself” is prioritizing building buffer/slack into my days and intentionally moving more slowly and thoughtfully through each day. Make space for time for reading and contemplation. Morgan Housel notes in his article [Bold emphasis is mine]:

“Here’s a problem we don’t think about enough: Even as more professions look like Rockefeller’s – thought jobs that require quiet time to think a problem through – we’re stuck in the old world where a good employee is expected to labor, visibly and without interruption.

The point is that productive work today does not look like productive work did for most of history. If your job was to pull a lever, you were only productive if you were pulling the lever. But if your job is to create a marketing campaign, you might be productive sitting quietly with your eyes closed, thinking about design. The problem is that too many workplaces expect their knowledge workers to pull the proverbial lever – today in Microsoft Office form – 40+ hours a week when they’d be better off doing things that look lazy but are actually productive. The result is that most people have thought jobs without being given much time to think, which is the equivalent of making a ditch-digger work without a shovel. Maybe this is why productivity growth is half of what it used to be.

If you anchor to the old world where good work meant physical action, it’s hard to wrap your head around the idea that the most productive use of a knowledge-worker’s time could be sitting on a couch thinking. But it’s so clear that it is. Good ideas rarely come in meetings, or even at your desk. They come to you in the shower. On a walk. On your commute, or hanging out on the weekend. I’m always amazed at the number of famous ideas that came to people in the bathtub. But tell your boss you require a mid-day soak, and the response is entirely predictable.”

Starting with yourself, embrace a gentler and kinder presence with the world. Slowing down and being more mindful as you move through your day will be rewarding and gratifying. While you may appear “lazy” and unproductive, the reality will be enhanced productivity through leveraging greater creativity and adaptability.

2019 – Bill T and Bill G encouraging “Good!”
France! Learning in Community with Karena de Souza