I am celebrating my planking adventure, which has reached 1,826 days, and exactly five consecutive years! In 2018, Don and I took on a 30-day planking challenge, hoping to accomplish the challenge and maybe help strengthen our core muscles to assist in reducing lower back muscle spasms that we had a history of in our lives. While my streak is fully intact, Don has only missed two days of 1,826. My twin brother, as an accountability partner – chalk up another advantage we have related to being twins.
The results?
Life lesson about mindset shift – “I get to do my plank vs. I have to do my plank.” Each day I plank is a blessing.
Consistency matters more than intensity. Show up in a small way daily, and intensity and success WILL follow.
The lower back health benefits have been extraordinary! My lower back feels better than twenty years ago, and my incidence of spasm occurrences is dramatically reduced.
As my planking success has accumulated, my confidence to take on other small positive daily habits has soared. I now have several small habits that are part of my daily lifestyle.
Proudly embracing my uniqueness is FUN. Each day is filled with contentment as I live what is important to me.
Contributing to improved self-esteem. I have always been disciplined and confident in my abilities – yet the satisfaction of showing up daily to do my plank has strengthened my resolve in other areas of my life.
What small daily positive habit can you adopt? Join Don and me today!
Bill Tomoff shares his four-year journey (2020 and continuing in 2023) practicing Stoicism, crediting the philosophy for enhancing his self-improvement and contributing to a more grounded emotional state. The philosophy’s emphasis on internal work, resilience, and focus on aspects within one’s control are key components of his daily practice. Using the book ‘The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living’ by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman, Tomoff has integrated reading a daily meditation into his routine.
Over the years, Tomoff’s engagement with Stoicism has grown, extending from the discovery of Darius Foroux’s blog post ‘Practicing Stoicism’ in 2018 to becoming a member of Daily Stoic Life (DSL) in 2021. His DSL membership offers expanded access to Stoic resources, courses, and a community support group.
Stoicism’s tenets, such as not necessarily needing an opinion, being strict with oneself and forgiving towards others, and controlling one’s responses to external events, have significantly influenced Tomoff’s perspective and daily conduct. He recognizes Stoicism as a lifelong journey, not a destination, and an important contributing aspect to personal growth and inner peace. His commitment to the philosophy extends to incorporating additional books of daily meditations into his routine, highlighting his quest for continual self-improvement through reflective practice.
Full Blog Post
I have written about my interest in Stoicism and how my “work” with the Stoic philosophy has helped me grow into a better human capable of contributing to my world. I focus on awareness of topics while realizing one never becomes a “stoic.” Striving to embrace stoic thoughts and encouragement is a life’s work with no finish line – except when our time on earth has ended.
Stoicism may seem difficult because it asks [demands] of us that we do the work of improving ourselves. The work starts with a willingness to examine what is circling in the core being. Are we interested in being the best version of ourselves and letting external matters “be”? We must clear our minds of needing opinions and judgment about people and matters beyond our control. We only control our reasoned choice.
Starting on January 1, 2020, I began reading the daily meditation as part of my morning reading routine. For the year 2020, I completed the Daily Stoic Journal: 366 Days of Writing and Reflection on The Art of Living. The book provided a prompt with space for a morning and evening reflection daily. I took this journey with my older brother, Alex. I found the process rewarding, and I believe it has brought me greater clarity about my thinking and helped me keep my emotions more “grounded.“
My December 31, 2020, reflection journaling read:
Prompt:
How will I turn these words into works?
Morning Reflection:
“In addition to The Daily Stoic readings and reflections, I believe I am also “doing the work” of being a good person. My number one priority to work on – is kindness, helping others, and continually working to improve my strengths while being forgiving of my weaknesses.”
Evening Reflection:
“Thankful and grateful. My “word of the year” for 2020 is Mahalo – from our family trip to Hawaii in December 2019. This year, “kindness” is my word for 2021. I will continue to put stoic words into works by setting an example and putting good into the world through kindness, encouragement, and celebrating others. 2021 – let’s do this. Treasure each day…”
Bill Tomoff with The Daily Stoic Meditations
The full year of reading and journaling twice daily profoundly impacted my perspective and how I bring my mind and actions to the world daily. Reading, absorbing, and reflecting on Stoicism is an important part of my daily practice. The work is difficult at times, yet also deeply inspiring. I am learning to sit with the discomfort – I will never fully “get there” (check out the concepts of Amor Fati and Momento Mori). Stoicism is a lifelong journey, not a destination to be reached. Awareness and a willingness to contemplate the work are huge steps to self-improvement and inner peace.
My interest and time commitment gradually grew after becoming curious about Stoicism through a December 2018 blog post by Darius Foroux –Practicing Stoicism.
Before my morning reading of The Daily Stoic Meditations on January 1, 2020, I had done more research about Stoicism and discovered the work of Ryan Holiday. From Darius’s post in 2018, my love of Stoicism has evolved as follows:
Early 2019 – read Darius Foroux’s blog post Practicing Stoicism.
August 2019 – read The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.
2019 – signed up for the free (Monday through Friday) Daily Stoic daily email from Ryan Holiday.
Full Year 2020 – read The Daily Stoic one meditation for each day and completed the companion journal reflections twice per day.
January 1, 2021 – purchased annual Daily Stoic Life (DSL) membership. The first-year membership was $249, and renewals are $99 yearly. The membership includes access to a members-only Facebook group, daily emails extended to Saturday and Sunday each week, and unrestricted access to all Daily Stoic challenges and courses.
Full Year 2021 – read The Daily Stoic one meditation for each day. My 2nd year of reading the entire book with one meditation per day.
January 1, 2022 – renewed annual membership in DSL.
Full Year 2022 – read The Daily Stoic one meditation for each day. My 3rd year of reading the entire book with one meditation per day.
January 1, 2023 – renewed annual membership in DSL.
Full Year 2023 (in the process) – read The Daily Stoic one meditation daily. My 4th year of reading the entire book with one meditation per day.
The Stoicism philosophy profoundly influences my perspective and “how” I handle myself and my emotions daily. Striving every day to develop my mind and embrace the only aspect of life we all control – our reasoned choice. Thoughts such as “it is not necessary to have an opinion, we should be strict with ourselves and forgiving of others (no judgment), and we control our response to any external event – we are harmed only if we believe we are harmed,” are thoughts I hold close to my heart and work to live in practice. Through my morning practice of reading The Daily Stoic, I have grown to love the short dose of daily meditation, to the point that I have adopted other books of daily meditations into my morning reading practice!
Moments in your life often influence and shape you beyond anything you can imagine. My blog post here is the first glimpse of the “behind the scenes” experiences that have brought my twin Don and I to where we are in life today.
Don and I brought a unique strength to “the real world” after college: a relentless desire to learn and develop ourselves to maximize our ability to contribute to our careers and life. Very few people approach each day with the consistency, tenacity, and persistence we do. When we started our careers, we did not understand how unique/different we were. However, we were often rewarded when preparation met opportunity. Approximately ten years into our careers, we realized, “hey, our penchant for preparation and perspective about continual learning are unique qualities that we own.” As we were rewarded with results, our passion grew. But then, the snowball was rolling downhill (and has never stopped)!
The Eye of the Tiger
Don and I were competitive distance runners through high school, college, and for three years beyond college. We are sure that our experiences in the arena of distance running competitions shaped and prepared us to bring a unique focus to our lives once we were working professionally. We did not understand our uniqueness but have grown to be thankful and appreciative of the gifts that distance running brought to our lives.
We did not know this, but toward the end of our competitive distance running years, we ran the marathon of our lives. The 1983 song from the Band Survivor, The Eye of the Tiger, was our rallying cry as we prepared for the May 15, 1983, Revco-Cleveland Marathon. We hope you enjoy learning about the most significant distance running day of our life. You might enjoy our four-minutes audio discussion here.
In May 1982, I ran a 2:30:55 in the Revco-Cleveland Marathon. Revco was a hometown marathon that Don and I targeted each year from 1981 through 1983. On that day in 1982, my mission to โrun a sub 2:30 marathonโ was born. This goal was all-consuming on a personal level, and we had the advantage of having a twin brother to train and banter with daily. At the time, of course, neither of us understood this gift that we enjoyedโbeing a twin living together and both dedicated to the consistent training we knew was required to be at our best.
In early 1983, a song we leaned on often was โThe Eye of the Tiger.โ This song pumped us up when we were less inspired and on race days. On the morning of May 15, 1983, we were up at 5:00 AM to get ready for the 8:00 AM start of the marathon in downtown Cleveland. Our day had arrived; we were both healthy and ready to race! Now, we were to focus and prepare mentally for the challenge. Upon awakening at 5:00 AM, our preparation started with a loud playing of โThe Eye of the Tiger.โ Finding the balance of a mindset ready to โrun through a wallโ with the reality that we needed to stay within ourselves and execute a flawlessly paced effort was a challenge we knew how to handle. Now was the time to make it happen!
How did the day go? Don and I ran career-best personal records in a day that ultimately were our lifetime best! I ran 2:29:48 and achieved my dream of breaking the 2 1/2-hour barrier, an improvement of 1 minute 7 seconds from my 1982 result of 2:30:55. Don finished in 2:30:34, only 46 seconds behind me. We ran together for the first 23 miles in a race we will never forget. This 2:30:34 was a tremendous improvement for Don, bettering his previous personal best of about 2:37:00. With his effort through 23 miles, I was in position and on pace to achieve my goal.
While Don and I were pacing through the miles, we recognized that โwe have no marginโ to slip and achieve a sub 2:30. Truthfully, our pace was perfect, and our strength in distance running was our disciplined effort. We could not have scripted a better execution. On that day, we had โthe eye of the tiger!โ
December 11, 2022 | Bill, Seth Godin, and Terri Tomoff meetup
“If youโre not prepared to sing alone, itโs difficult to get to the point where people sing along with you.”
Seth Godin’s blog – February 8, 2023
Seth Godin closed this morning’s blog with the above quote. His encouragement for us all to be willing to “sing” alone is a reminder we all need – if we are going to make a contribution and difference in our world.
Over the years, my most grateful takeaway from Seth’s work is his emphasis that the ability to “choose yourself” has never been easier thanks to technology. When you choose yourself, you are willing to go forward alone and believe in, or trust, your own vision. Metaphorically, when you choose yourself, you are stepping out and willing to “sing alone.”
Personally and professionally, my life’s joy, contentment, and success have resulted from advantages accrued through a willingness to go alone and stay the course for the long term when my heart believed in what I was doing. The willingness to go forward day after day without seeking affirmation is a compelling strength that I have enjoyed. As the benefits of “singing alone” started to compound, the desire to go down the less traveled path became a fabric of my lifestyle.
When you travel alone in your interests, you eventually discover others who share the same mindset, and your tribe slowly grows. To celebrate the small, caring community of a small tribe, my twin Don and I created the “Virtually No One Community” (thanks to Seth’s blog of January 2, 2023) to celebrate those of us who, in the macro view, stand alone in our work and the value we bring to the world. We all possess unique interests and talents that virtually no one has – unfortunately, too often, we suppress our true selves in the interest of fitting in and being like others. How tragic to live a life seeking to fit in and not allow our individual uniqueness to shine and help others!
A few examples of “singing alone” in my life include:
Dedication to my love of distance running and being a competitive runner for over ten years. Competitive distance running is often a lonely road that requires sacrifices few would be willing to make.
Events of fate will require that we “sing” alone. The fact is that we are required to adapt to external events of which we have no choice. Two notable moments of fate in my life include being born as a twin (brother Don – which has been a blessing that is impossible to convey) and the 1996 diagnosis of my two-year-old son, Ryan, with childhood cancer (ALL – Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia) that thrust our family’s life into inexplicable chaos from that day forward. See the memoir by my wife, Terri, titled The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles.
Professionally, twin Don and I developed and challenged our thinking non-stop throughout our careers in accounting and business. Through our early adopter mindset around technology, we have repeatedly gained a disproportionate advantage allowing us to make exceptional contributions and help others in our careers.
My perspective of an abundance mindset, dedication to personal development, kindness, and gratitude, has enabled me to continually grow and lift my spirits and the spirits of others.
In March 2018, I co-founded #TwinzTalk with Don to share tips for encouragement and personal development via social media. “Changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.”
In June 2020, Terri and I joined the Akimbo Writing In Community (WIC) initiative. I now consider myself a writer, and my daily process of showing up to write is a gift I treasure.
It is exciting to hear of the introduction of the Brainstorm Road initiative that is coming in March 2023, led by Kristin Hatcher (Founder of Writing in Community) and Margo Aaron, with the support of Seth Godin.
Brainstorm Road is a new “community of practice” available after the current WIC session ends. Akimbo is not going forward with the WIC initiative, and Brainstorm Road appears to be an exciting new initiative! Terri and I were excited to see the recent update and the introduction to the concept on the website.
The idea of Brainstorm Road is to bring together a community of people interested in “leveling up” (as Seth would encourage) to ship their work to the world. Beyond the current mission of writing in community, BR is adopting a more expanded approach to help those who have a creative dream and would like support to hit a “finish line” with a plan they might be holding inside them. The introduction website notes:
“Itโs not online learning. Itโs online practice.”
“Finish your novel, launch your podcast, publish your website”
“Brainstorm Road is a community of practice organized around a weekly shipping commitment.”
I will join the community excited to hear about the dreams that participants plan to accomplish. WIC profoundly changed Terri and me – our writing adventure has taken many paths over the last 2 and 1/2 years – and we look forward to continuing to be inspired by others, helping others, and creating work that we might not even realize yet! This six-month program is the start of an exciting new adventure!
Take the time to watch the 11-minute video discussion What is Brainstorm Road, between Seth, Kristin, and Margo, to learn more. Then sign up to be on the waitlist for the March 2023 launch. You and the world need your work!
Inspired by Seth Godin’s blog posted on January 2, 2023, my twin Don and I are starting the “Virtually No One” community. This community is for people who personally and professionally take “the road less traveled” and, in the long run, are making a compelling difference for themselves and their world.
Virtually no one is enough. Our lives and this community are committed to believing that a small act, thinking differently, and using our talents to solve problems, one individual does make a difference. We trust this to the core as we have seen proof throughout our lives and careers that our early adopter mindset, combined with a vision of potential, has exponentially rewarded, over and over. We know our beliefs and actions are “changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.”
Seth’s blog notes:
“Compared to the overall population, virtually no one built Wikipedia, virtually no one voted for that senator and virtually no one starts a business. Virtually no one cares enough to help a stranger in need, and virtually no one leads the way.
And thatโs okay.
Because virtually no one is enough.
“When we “see” the potential of thinking and working differently, the space is lonely and only persistence, and long-term dedication provides hope for progress (for example – consider the Slack collaboration tool introduced in 2016 – highly resisted in its early days, but now ubiquitous along with Microsoft Teams, in today’s world). The payoffs when the idea succeeds are very gratifying. To be clear, failures frequently occur, causing many to say, “I knew that wouldn’t work.” Because of the fact that failures do occur, and many folks will not move ahead (late adopters) without convincing definitive proof of success, virtually no one is willing to walk the path.
A few quotes of inspiration:
“Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats.” –Howard Aiken
โHereโs to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holesโฆ The ones who see things differently โ theyโre not fond of rules. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the one thing you canโt do is ignore them, because they change thingsโฆ Because the ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. Think different.โ
In all our actions, we think of helping others and helping the communities in which we live and work. Commit to personal development/self-improvement and lean on your talents to help others. Do what is right in your heart, and do not strive to “fit in” with the masses. To fit in is doing our genuine selves a disservice. We all are meant to and have so much potential to significantly contribute to the world with our unique talents.
A few examples of virtually no one community members:
Don made a trip to Costco Wholesale recently and noted many stray carts in the parking lot. Case in point, virtually no one (other than an employee of Costco) will take the time to collect and return several carts to the appropriate stations and out of the vehicleโs harm’s way.
How about picking up trash in our communities? Again, welcome to the virtually no one community!
My wife Terri published a memoir of our son Ryan’s 5x cancer battles (The Focused Fight). Well, virtually no one writes a book.
Let’s get active and dedicate our talents and energy to making a positive contribution – in ways and areas where virtually no one, unfortunately, is paying attention. Join us, shine the light, and share your stories!
December 31, 2022 – Don Tomoff at Costco Warehouse – shopping carts assistanceJuly 24, 2021 – Ryan and Terri Tomoff at The Focused Fight Book Launch
This question is given extra attention on Thanksgiving day in the United States. Along with Seth Godin (see video linked to his free PDF “The Thanksgiving Reader” shared in his blog post below), Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because of the intentionality around slowing down, sharing precious time with loved ones, and feeling gratitude for the gifts in our lives. I love sharing thanks to and gratitude for others. Seth’s blog post of November 24, 2016, Choose better, highlighted that we have a choice in being “more honest, more caring, more generous.” I will also encourage choosing more gratitude. His blog is linked below but is brief and to the point:
“More honest, more caring, more generous.
It’s all a choice, isn’t it?
We can choose to dream better, connect better and contribute better.
Sometimes, in the rush for more, we get confused about what better means, and how attainable it is.
If you are lucky enough to be with family today, I hope you’ll get a chance to use our beloved Thanksgiving Reader around your table. It’s a free PDF that you can print out and use for group readings.”
Seth Godin Blog Post – November 24, 2016 – “Choose Better”
The Thanksgiving Reader free PDF that Seth provides in his post has been used by our family for several years. The readings around the dinner table are a highlight of our holiday each year. One of my favorite readings is about gratitude:
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events.
It can turn an existence into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial lessons. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
โข Melody Beattie โข
Page 32 of the reader provides a wonderful list of questions to discuss thoughts on gratitude:
Whatโs the value of gratitude? Why does it even matter?
Why arenโt people, especially Americans, more grateful?
What can we do to feel grateful the other 364 days of the year?
Are older people more grateful than younger people? Or is it the reverse?
We all know the value of connections, but where did the barriers come from and what can we do to topple them?
Whoโs the most grateful person you know? Whoโs your gratitude role model?
What is somethingโa conversation, advice you received, etc.โyou became grateful for only well after it occurred? Why did it take you so long?
Have you lived a life that deserves gratitude from others?
If you could take action to save a life, would you do it? My guess, because I believe people are inherently good and kind, would answer, “of course!”
People who choose to join the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP) marrow registry through the Be The Match organization have made that choice. Joining the registry (see link https://my.bethematch.org/s/join) is available for people ages 18 to 40 (“Studies show that blood stem cells from younger donors provide better long-term survival rates for our patients”).
We all can make a difference, and Be The Match is an opportunity to join a cause that saves lives. YOU may be called upon to be the difference for someone. I will plead with anyone, who is eligible, to join the registry. Why? My son and our family know firsthand the importance of a bone marrow transplant – potentially a lifesaving transplant for the recipient and a guaranteed life-changing experience for the donor!
November 3, 2004. This is transplant day at Duke University Medical Center for Ryan Tomoff. Ryan, my wife Terri, our daughter Olivia, and I wake up eager for Ryan to receive the gift of bone marrow from an anonymous donor. We have no idea how the process works, but we are praying that Ryan’s donor safely arrives at the hospital and that the countless “players” involved are blessed to execute what they need to do to harvest the marrow, process the collection out of the hospital and receive successfully in Durham, NC, at Duke. We know that countless moving parts are involved, and the need for “perfect execution” is on our minds. Unfortunately, so much is outside of our control.
Around 5:30 or 6:00 PM, the marrow in a cold storage pack landed with a flight to Raleigh-Durham Airport, and a courier was transporting the package to the eagerly waiting medical team at Duke. Once received, the marrow needed to be irradiated before transfusion into Ryan. We were made aware that the marrow had arrived and was being prepared for Ryan. Yes, we were excited that the transplant was about ready to happen – Ryan’s preparation through total-body radiation (TBI) had successfully happened over the previous week. November 3rd was his targeted transplant date, the marrow had arrived, was processed to safely administer to Ryan, and at 7:45 PM, the transfusion started. The transplant was not the end, but we prayed the beginning of a lifesaving moment had arrived, and we were thankful and hopeful for his future. Transplants are not guaranteed to be successful, but the transplant was Ryan’s last shot at beating his leukemia. Ryan and our family were embarking on the start of a new journey.
Today, November 3, 2022, we are celebrating 18 years post-transplant. On November 4, 2005, one year and one day after Ryan’s transplant, we met Scott Harris at a beautiful event in New York. Scott was from Teaneck, New Jersey. None of this information is shared without the donor’s consent, and the earliest time to meet a donor is one year after the transplant. We felt blessed and beyond thrilled that Scott and our family both agreed to meet as soon as possible!
Thanks to this experience – the selfless generosity and kindness of a stranger to help a fellow human in such a tremendous and meaningful way – my “lens on life” is enhanced to look for and believe in the “good” of our fellow humans. My energy is dedicated to seeing and celebrating the moments of generosity that ARE all around us.
A thought I hold close that applies beautifully here is:
“The gift of a lifetime deserves a lifetime of gratitude.” – Rajesh Setty
Scott Harris did not have to show up and save Ryan’s life. He did so because someone was in need, and he was being called upon to help. Wouldn’t we all love the same opportunity? Will you take the step to become part of that community? Please do.
My wife Terri shared heartfelt thoughts about Ryan’s transplant day on her blog, quoting sections directly from her book The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles. Her post is available at:
One of my most significant opportunities and joys is serving on the board of directors for Special Love, Inc. – an organization that helps children and families fighting #ChildhoodCancer. My relationship with the organization’s mission is very personal; my son Ryan and our family have been on the receiving side of their services since 1997.
Please check out this 36-minute No Politics #Podcast for a great discussion with Executive Director Jan Bresch. She explains so well the various programs of support that make an incredible difference for families. Looking for a well-organized and highly rated #charity to support? Look no further.
In the podcast, a portion focuses on the thoughts of a previous camper and now counselor, Julia Jones. The link to the complete reflection is in the comments – Julia does a magnificent job articulating the bonds and magic that Special Love camps create.
Here is a brief excerpt from Julia’s blog thoughts:
Morning reading and topic of discussion this past weekend for Don Tomoff, MBA, and me. Always be learning – and be willing to leverage the #superpower of admitting โI donโt know.โ
