The post begins by reflecting on a February 2025 “A Learning a Day” blog entry about footballer alchemy, which emphasizes how individual success often depends more on team fit and environment than raw talent alone. Building on this sports analogy, the post explores how we can apply this principle to optimize our lives by treating personal development like a general manager creating a successful team.
The piece outlines three critical components for personal success: dedication to self-development, careful curation of our “life team,” and strategic use of enabling tools. Just as athletes commit to constant improvement, we must prioritize self-care and personal growth to perform at our best. The post emphasizes the importance of surrounding ourselves with supportive relationships, including family, friends, coworkers, and various communities that enhance our potential.
Regarding tools, the author highlights how embracing technology—from fundamental tools like spreadsheets to more advanced platforms like generative AI—can significantly boost our capabilities and efficiency. The post explicitly mentions tools like Microsoft Excel, Adobe PDF, X1 Search, Evernote, and various AI platforms as examples of technology that has enhanced the author’s professional and personal life.
The piece concludes by reinforcing that building our optimal “life team” is an ongoing process requiring continuous attention to self-development, relationship cultivation, and tool adoption—essentially a three-legged stool supporting our success and fulfillment.
Full Original Writing
A Learning a Day blog is one of my daily readings. I am often inspired, and the blog triggers me to think more deeply about a topic and apply the idea to my life.
One of the lessons I’ve learnt from following careers of footballers (/soccer players) over the years is that we frequently overemphasize the role of individual talent.
In reality, there’s a certain alchemy when we bring together the right player in the right team under the right manager.
Talent – especially of the precocious nature – helps a footballer get noticed and give them options. But if that mixture goes wrong, even the best of talents can flounder.
The opposite is also true. Players with mediocre relative talent can push close to world class in the right environment.
Applicable well outside football of course.
**
Relating this to our individual lives, I contemplate why we often do not dedicate more intentional effort to improving ourselves and prioritizing our efforts to ensure that our team in life helps us be our best selves, contributes to optimizing our potential, and enables us to fit into the collective team in our lives.
Following the sports theme above, what if we approach our lives like a general manager working to build a successful sports team? In our scenario, however, we each are a player who desires to be a key contributor within our team, and the GM is responsible for building the proper chemistry to maximize our ability to contribute optimally to the team’s success.
What work is more important to us individually? As any successful athlete does, the daily dedication to their craft is relentless and of high importance. Beyond sports, we also expect people to work to be their best and bring their best every day. Consider your coworkers, medical professionals, and first responders and the countless situations we encounter where we rely upon another person’s efforts and expertise.
Considering ourselves and our life “team,” reflect upon these questions:
Are you dedicated to personal development and self-care so you can be the best you can be?
Who are the key players on your team that you rely upon? How is your chemistry within your team?
What equipment is essential to you performing at your best? In my career and life, embracing technology tools to enhance and accelerate performance has been a non-negotiable priority.
While not all-inclusive, I will expand below on these questions with examples from my life, many of which apply to everyone.
Personal Development
September 9, 2024 | ncaCPA Fall Conference | TwinzTalk with coordinators Amy and Linda
Like any athlete who dedicates themselves to improvement and learning, we all must view our role similarly. We must always strive to take care of ourselves and be the best teammate we can be. We owe this to ourselves and others.
People on Your Team
Interwoven with our personal development quest is the importance of surrounding ourselves with the best teammates possible. A collective team that cares, encourages, and supports each other. This aspect is a lifetime of work and involves being judicious about who we bring onto our team. In life, the team is much larger and more critical than a single sports team, yet the analogy is spot-on. The chemistry of our teams is crucial to long-term fulfillment and success!
Never underestimate the fact that people need people. Appreciate and be grateful for those on your team who encourage and inspire you to reach your full potential. Examples include:
Family.
Friends, coworkers, and community.
Those who serve us. Medical professionals, car mechanics, restaurant and grocery store workers, first responders, etc… these workers are our “customers,” and we are their customers.
Communities of practice.
Social media relationships.
Terri Tomoff and Dr Aziza Shad – The Focused FightNovember 11, 2023 | Worthy Rally in NYC | Andrea Sanchez, Bill Tomoff, and Kate Nasser
Audit your team. Do your relationships lift you and bring out the best in you? Do you do the same for others?
Tools You Use
As athletes are optimally equipped, are you “hiring” the right tools to help you navigate your life journey more smoothly. Prominent ubiquitous tools in these times include cars, computers, the internet, spreadsheets, and our ever-present mobile phones. Less obvious tools, yet invaluable in my life, include many technology tools that have enabled a digital lifestyle personally and professionally, including:
Keeping current with Microsoft Excel’s three decades of expanded development and potential makes my professional life exponentially more productive and fulfilling.
Adobe PDF digital documents.
Computer document search platform X1 Search.
Evernote note-taking platform.
Social media.
Evolution away from EMAIL and greater leveraging of communication transparency via Slack and MS Teams platforms.
And most recently, Generative AI and LLMs such as ChatGPT, Claude AI, Gemini, and Perplexity AI.
Datarails AI Mention – Bill and Don Tomoff
(Conclusion in collaboration with Claude AI)
Just as championship teams aren’t built overnight, optimizing our life team is a continuous journey of growth and refinement. By intentionally investing in three core elements—personal development and self-care, meaningful relationships with those who elevate us, and the strategic adoption of enabling tools—we can create an environment where we truly flourish. Like the footballer who fits the perfect combination of team, manager, and system, our success depends on these elements working in harmony. The work of building and maintaining this winning combination never ends, but the rewards of peak performance and personal fulfillment make it worth the dedicated effort.
December 11, 2022 | Bill and Terri Tomoff IRL Meetup with Seth GodinSeptember 28, 2024 | Bill, Ryan, and Terri Tomoff, Olivia and Bo Hudson
Looking to enhance your life and find greater fulfillment in 2025? Celebrate and appreciate others, and volunteer and support a charity doing meaningful work that matters to you!
Today, January 2, 2025, I take a moment to celebrate and thank Jan Bresch and Judy Martin Russell for their recent retirement (1) from Special Love.Special Love is a charity that “provides a strong, nurturing environment for children with cancer and their families.”
Jan has been the Executive Director for the past 6 and 1/2 years (from July 2018), leading the organization through the uncertain times of the COVID-19 pandemic. She built an incredible team dedicated to the needs of the children and families they serve and successfully contributed to fundraising and strengthening the financial foundation. She helped position the organization for the future.
Judy has served as the financial administrator for almost 19 years! Behind the scenes (as a career accounting and business professional, I know this aspect too well), she “did the work” of keeping the financial records accurate and timely. Judy was often a smiling and cheerful volunteer at the events. Our family and I could always count on her upbeat and positive outlook on life.
My family has been blessed to have Special Love in our lives since the fall of 1997, after our (Terri Tomoff and me) son, Ryan, was diagnosed with childhood cancer on October 17, 1996. Camp Fantastic is the cornerstone program for patients that Ryan attended for eleven consecutive years, from ages 7 to 17, and has subsequently been a long-time volunteer counselor. Our daughter, Olivia, attended the weeklong camp for siblings (BRASS Camp) and served as a counselor. Since 2018, I have had the privilege and honor of serving on the board of directors.
The organization, its caring and dedicated staff, and volunteers have been a lifeline of support for countless families. For our family story, please read my blog post, “The Magic of Special Love.”
Jan and Judy, THANK YOU for all your efforts and the care you provided daily. You were dedicated to your work and showed genuine care to the families you interacted with. Speaking from a parent’s perspective who knows firsthand the impact on the children and families Special Love serves, to being a board member understanding the challenges of executing the mission, I am humbled and grateful for your work and compassion for the cause. The world needs more of your examples!
December 8, 2024 | Ryan and Bill Tomoff with Special Love’s Judy Martin Russell
I wish you both the very best as you graduate (thank you, Roger Federer) and move into the next chapter of your lives!
(1) I discourage the use of the word “retirement.” As tennis legend Roger Federer noted in a 2024 Commencement Address at Dartmouth College, he considers that he graduated to the next chapter of his life when he left professional tennis in 2022. Check out this specific bookmarked clip (starts at 4 minutes 40 seconds).
November 21, 2024 | Jan Bresch and Judy Martin Russell with Bill Tomoff
As the year 2024 is coming to a close, I am excited to be working on my 100th blog post since establishing my website and blog in 2017. I have chosen a fitting topic for my 100th post: Gratitude.
I am dedicated to adopting an attitude of gratitude and expressing appreciation for the good in my life. At this stage of my life (66 years old), I often reflect on and savor the life I have been blessed with. While persistent dedication, continual learning, hard work, a mindset of abundance and possibility, and luck are all imperative components of any success, the overall theme that stands out is the importance of quality, caring people in our lives.
If we pause and reflect, everything that happens to us is the result of someone:
Teaching and mentoring.
Giving an opportunity.
Supporting and caring for your well-being.
Being kind and generous.
When our (Terri Tomoff and me) daughter, Olivia, graduated from James Madison University, she prioritized time in the final months of her senior year to handwrite notes to people who had a memorable role in her growth and development from early childhood through college. On graduation day in May 2015, she mailed 50+ thank-you notes that included family, teachers, soccer coaches, and community support that touched her over many years. Her effort inspired me, and she taught me and her a lesson about expressing sincere appreciation for others who help us in our path of life.
Through our family’s challenges with our son, Ryan, cancer battles since 1996, we learned acutely the fact that people need people. The people who came into our lives and have selflessly supported us in countless ways resonated, over the years, with us to the core. We have been profoundly changed and now experience ever-present gratitude for the people in our lives.
In October 2024, I completed a book by A.J. Jacobs, Thanks A Thousand: A Journey of Gratitude, about his efforts to thank everyone involved in making his morning cup of coffee a reality. As explained on the book back cover:
“In hopes of restoring my sanity in these troubling times, I recently undertook a quest:
I pledged to thank every single person who had a role (however small) in making my morning cup of coffee possible.
I wanted to show how life-changing gratitude can be. So I thanked the barista, the lid designer, the South American farmer, the trucker who hauled the coffee, the folks who paved the road for the trucker, the people who painted the stripes on the highways so the truck didn’t veer into traffic. It turned out to be a surprisingly huge number of people. My gratitude quest has taken me across time zones and up and down the social ladder. It made me feel delight, wonder, guilt, and a whole bunch of caffeine jitters. It taught me the secrets to practicing gratitude, and how it can transform anyone’s perspective.”
I highly recommend this book and hope you find it as inspiring as I do!
Bill Tomoff | Thanks A Thousand: Who Can You Thank?
As we turn the page on another year and head into 2025, I am taking inspiration from Olivia and A.J. Jacobs. I will be undertaking a more intentional lifelong effort to thank the countless people who have helped shape me and my life’s journey. I am going beyond coffee and asking myself, “Who has played a role in the many aspects of my life span from childhood through school, personal and professional years?” Then, who can I thank in person and/or via a handwritten note? This project is undoubtedly an audacious goal, yet I will chip away one person at a time.
A.J. Jacobs | My journey to thank all the people responsible for my morning coffee
I am energized to begin this gratitude journey. My mission to thank those who’ve shaped my life feels daunting yet deeply meaningful. I cannot predict how long this endeavor will take, but each thank you will strengthen the connections that make life rich, and the journey will enhance my life fulfillment. Who can you thank today? The ripple effect of expressed gratitude might change someone’s life—including yours.
December 15, 2024 | Bill Tomoff Book Recommendation “Thanks A Thousand”
Social media often gets a bad rap, but my twin Don and I have discovered its immense potential for learning, connection, and personal growth. As James Clear recently noted, we experience what we expect to see – and our optimistic approach to social media since 2010 has proven remarkably rewarding.
One shining example is Rajesh Setty, whom I discovered in 2020 through a mutual connection, Tanmay Vora. Rajesh embodies what’s best about social media – he’s a prolific author, entrepreneur, and wisdom-sharer who believes success and fulfillment come from generosity and helping others. While we’ve never met in person, his daily insights on LinkedIn have become a source of inspiration and growth.
We view Rajesh as a “possibility trafficker” who, through generosity and kindness, plants seeds of opportunity and progress rather than dwelling on problems. His background includes founding multiple companies, writing 18 books, and creating thousands of “Napkinsights” – bite-sized wisdom that fits on a napkin.
Rajesh is one shining example of where social media has exceeded our early expectations from 2010, proving that with the right mindset, these platforms can be powerful tools for connection, personal development and meaningful relationships.
Full Original Writing
Don and I have relished using social media for learning, helping others, engagement, and connection. As James Clear noted in his weekly 3-2-1 Newsletter from October 31, 2024, you will experience what you expect to see.
“If you look for evidence that people are conspiring to hold you back and the world is working against you, then it will take you no time at all to find precisely that.
If you expect to encounter helpful people and experience a world that is working with you, then you find plenty of evidence to support that view as well.
The raw material for a sweet life or a bitter life is always there. The story you emphasize is the one you notice.”
Around 2010, we sensed that social media had the potential to positively impact our lives thanks to the ability to connect online with people around the world. We could not understand the depth or potential we would experience over the next 14 years. Yet, our sense of going forward with a mindset of possibility and “people aregood” ultimately became a self-fulfilling prophecy. We saw an opportunity to learn from and help others, and we leaned into gently moving forward as we figured out the nuances of the new world we now had at our fingertips.
Today, I am shining the light on and celebrating a connection who is an incredibly caring and inspiring human being. We have not met in person, but his wisdom, consistent generosity, and desire to help others grow are an example and standard Don and I look up to. This person is Rajesh Setty. He leads with tremendous compassion and care for helping others.
Soon after the pandemic started in March 2020, I discovered Rajesh when he was working on his bookSix Foot World. After seeing a post I shared on Twitter, another connection, Tanmay Vora, sent me a direct message, sharing that Rajesh was his friend and mentor. His encouragement led me to more actively follow Rajesh, and I have found Rajesh to be a genius thinker who believes success and fulfillment are tied to our willingness to be generous, kind, and helpful to others. This is a beautiful example of how social media can work, connecting people for genuine learning and connection!
Who is Rajesh? Please check out his “About” bio on LinkedIn for his background, but here is a portion of his highlights:
“My passion is to bring good and game-changing ideas to life with love.
My heart sings when an idea in my world comes to life that makes the world outside a better place to live. It could be a startup, a book, a framework, a speech, a course or a work of art – I have experimented with all of them. I have failed a LOT of times, learned from every single one of those failures and, because of that, I have also succeeded a few times on all the categories.
Starting 2000, I have been part of the founding teams of several companies (10x) in the technology and publishing space. Couple of them have got an exit, couple of them have reached the startup graveyard and the rest are making progress. The latest venture Audvisor (www.audvisor.com) is a mobile audio streaming app for micro-podcasts from over 125 world-class experts. We have over 3,000 micro-podcasts on more than a dozen topics on personal and professional growth.
Starting 1983, I have written and published several books (18x) with my first book published at the age of thirteen. Books include four murder mysteries, a collection of poems, a book on mathematics, several business books and two books on how to make people think. I also maintain a blog with close to 2,000 blog posts and have contributed to Huffington Post, VentureBeat, Sandhill.com, Yourstory.com and Salesforce.com.
Starting 2016, I have created around 2500 Napkinsights ( Napkinsight = an insight that can fit on a paper napkin ). i have also created a box of 101 uniquely designed thank you cards, two playing card decks where every card has a mini saga (a story in exactly 50 words each) and more.”
I look forward to Rajesh’s daily drop of wisdom and encouragement. A recent share on October 30, 2024 is a beautiful example to share [Bold emphasis is mine]:
We all know drug trafficking is harmful, but there’s a less obvious form of trafficking that can be just as toxic: problem trafficking. These individuals constantly introduce problems into your mind space—problems you can’t solve and they aren’t solving either. They insist on making these issues a focal point of your attention and demand your engagement, often using guilt or virtue signaling to keep you invested. This form of mental hijacking wastes your precious time and energy, leaving you distracted from addressing meaningful challenges where you can actually make a difference.
“Problem traffickers” excel at framing every discussion around why a particular problem needs urgent attention. They pull you into circular debates or endless analysis, preventing you from taking decisive action on issues within your control. It’s not that the problems they raise are entirely irrelevant, but their intention is not to solve them—just to endlessly discuss and amplify them. This not only drains your energy but also erodes your sense of agency over time.
On the flip side, there’s a small group of rare and valuable people known as “possibility traffickers.” These individuals are intentional about planting seeds of opportunity and progress. They are the ones who inspire action by focusing on what’s possible rather than what’s broken. Possibility traffickers don’t ignore problems; instead, they reframe them into opportunities for growth and improvement. Their presence is energizing and transformative, shifting your mindset towards constructive thinking.
Cherish those few “possibility traffickers” in your life—they are the people who help you see beyond limitations and encourage you to pursue meaningful change. They are the true catalysts for growth and progress in a world crowded with distractions.
Rajesh is most definitely a “possibility trafficker!”
Thank you, Rajesh, for consistently embodying what generosity and wisdom-sharing can look like online and in real life. Your insights, thought-provoking wisdom, and genuine desire to help others grow have created ripples of positive impact. You are showing that world that social media can be a powerful force for good when approached with intention and kindness. For anyone seeking to grow personally and professionally, Don and I strongly encourage you to follow Rajesh and explore his extensive body of work. His example highlights what is possible, reminding us that generously sharing our gifts with others can be transformative. Believe.
**
To learn more about Rajesh, below are several resources that I have shared often. Follow his content for guaranteed inspiration, perspective-shifting, and personal growth if you embrace his encouragement. I hope you find his insights as valuable as Don and I do!
Rajesh’s newest book ‘Unshaken.’ See Advance praise below, from two of my favorite authors (Seth Godin and Tom Peters)!
For a complete list of Rajesh’s wisdom shared on LinkedIn, bookmark this link in your web browser – Thinking in Progress
A talk aboutGrowing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time. A sentiment he shares is now one I reflect on often – “A life-changing gift deserves a lifetime of gratitude.” Any success in my life has resulted from help from others, and I am now very intentional to be grateful and express my appreciation for others and the help that has come through my life.
Regarding the use of social media, Rajesh reminds us that whether we actively choose (or not) to have a presence on social media, we are making a choice. Often, before a person meets you in real life, they will search for you on the internet. What impression do you make before any IRL meeting? This impression is what Rajesh refers to asThe Zero-eth Impression.
I purchased Rajesh’s coffee table book, Napkinsights, in 2023. This book is an inspiring conversation starter.
I purchased and completed Rajesh’s courseThe Right Hustle: Fine-tuning the Art of Moving the Needle in 2022. The course was tremendous, and I believe everyone can benefit personally and professionally from his ideas. I highly recommend attending this course—and then revisiting it over and over, thanks to the lifetime access that comes with the purchase!
2024 | Bill and Don Tomoff with Napkinsights Coffee Table BookNovember 2023 | Napkinsights book by Rajesh Setty
“Here’s my endorsement: ‘I started reading and couldn’t stop. Elaboration: I’ve read scores of thriller blurbs which say ‘Unputdownable.’ I don’t think I had ever experienced literal unputdownableism until I read Raj’s book. I didn’t ‘learn from’ UNSHAKEN. What happened was that I was deeply affected. It caused reflection and smiles and frowns and discomfort and comfort. That’s the greatest possible praise, right?”
Author of The Excellence Dividend and many other bestsellers
“‘Unshaken’ is Rajesh’s unwillingness to be defeated. Faced with serious challenges, he still has the grace to take it on the chin. It is nothing short of inspiring to see Rajesh turning problems into opportunities, and in the process, give us the simplest lesson of all. No matter what, keep moving.”
**
Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time (21 minutes)
At about 4:30, don’t miss “Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude.”
Please note that this document results from a discussion between Bill and Don Tomoff and an iterative approach to using AI Large Language Models (LLMs) through original writing and answering a thorough 35-question deep dive Q&A to help provide greater insight into the twins’ efforts toward their 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon. This final result is a collaboration with Claude AI.
The unique dynamic of being twins created an unparalleled training advantage. Living together and working similar schedules, Bill and Don created a natural accountability system that enhanced their preparation. Their shared commitment amplified their efforts, demonstrating how having the right training partner can multiply success.
2. Preparation Meets Opportunity
The brothers’ success wasn’t just about race day performance—it was the culmination of years of disciplined training, including their college running experience in the hilly terrain of Athens, Ohio. When perfect weather conditions arrived on race day, they were ready to capitalize on the opportunity because of their thorough years of preparation and experience.
3. The Value of Experience
Having completed multiple previous marathons, both brothers brought valuable knowledge to their approach. Bill’s consistent finishes and Don’s learning experiences from DNFs contributed to their strategic wisdom. They understood the importance of pacing, hydration, and mental preparation—crucial in their peak performance.
4. Strategic Patience
Their race execution demonstrated the importance of disciplined pacing and strategic patience. Targeting negative splits and maintaining steady communication throughout the race showed how controlling early enthusiasm can lead to stronger finishing performances. Their ability to run together for 23 miles exemplified this strategic approach.
5. The Impact of Support Systems
Family, friends, and colleagues played crucial roles in their success. From pre-race family dinners to race-day supporters along the course to professional recognition afterward, their achievement was enhanced by a community that understood and celebrated their efforts. This highlights how personal achievements often rely on a broader support network.
6. The Role of Timing in Life
At age 24, the twins recognized and seized an opportune moment—when they had the freedom to dedicate themselves fully to training while building their professional careers. This teaches the importance of recognizing and maximizing such windows of opportunity.
7. Transferable Skills
The discipline and resilience developed through their running journey transferred directly to their professional lives and personal challenges. The “I can do hard things” mindset they developed proved valuable in their accounting careers and in facing life’s unexpected challenges, such as Bill’s son Ryan’s battle with cancer.
8. The Power of Incremental Progress
Don’s journey from a high school pole vaulter to running a 2:30:34 marathon demonstrates how consistent effort and gradual improvement can lead to remarkable achievements. His seven-minute improvement in the marathon shows that significant breakthroughs are possible through dedicated training.
9. Mental Toughness
Their ability to maintain focus and execution during the crucial final miles of the marathon, especially after separating at mile 23, demonstrated the mental fortitude they had developed. This mental toughness, forged through years of training and competition, proved valuable beyond their running careers.
10. The Legacy of Achievement
Their performance that day created a lasting legacy that continues to inspire. The achievement wasn’t just about the times they ran—it was about the broader lesson that ambitious goals can be achieved with proper preparation, unwavering dedication, and strong support. Their story demonstrates how a single day of excellence can provide inspiration and lessons for decades.
These takeaways illustrate that the 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon was more than just a race—a culmination of preparation, partnership, and perseverance that yielded lessons far beyond the finish line. The Tomoff twins’ experience shows how athletic achievements can provide a foundation for success in all areas of life while highlighting the unique advantages of having a twin brother as a training partner and the importance of a robust support system in achieving ambitious goals.
****
May 15, 1983 | Revco-Cleveland Marathon | Bill and Don Tomoff
Complete Document
On a cool, drizzly morning in May 1983, twin brothers Bill and Don Tomoff stood at the starting line of the Revco-Cleveland Marathon, their hearts pounding with anticipation. The familiar opening riffs of Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” still echoed in their minds from their pre-dawn preparation ritual. Neither brother knew it then, but they were about to experience a defining moment of their competitive running careers—supported by a network of family and friends who had been integral to their journey.
Early Foundations
The Tomoff twins brought unique strengths to their running partnership. In high school, Bill had distinguished himself as an exceptional distance runner, ranking seventh in Ohio in the two-mile run and finishing 31st at the state cross-country meet. His school records in the mile (4:28.9) and two-mile (9:31.5) stood as a testament to his early promise. Don, meanwhile, had pursued a more diverse athletic path, balancing cross-country with pole vaulting during track season. Despite splitting his focus, he consistently performed well, often finishing as the second man on their seven-man varsity team and securing 15th place in the Southwest Conference meet while Bill finished fourth.
Their paths briefly diverged in college when Don initially attended Ohio State University before transferring to Ohio University. NCAA regulations in the 1970s required him to sit out a year from competition after the transfer, though he continued training with the team. During his senior year at OU, Don achieved modest but well-earned success, and in the two years following graduation, he began to come into his own as a distance runner. While he never quite caught up to Bill in road races or marathons, the gap between them had significantly narrowed—a testament to his determination and growth as an athlete.
The Path to the Starting Line
The journey to this pivotal race began a year earlier when Bill completed the 1982 Revco-Cleveland Marathon in 2:30:55. Missing the sub-2:30 mark by less than a minute sparked a fire within him. “Next year, I am going to break 2 hours and 30 minutes!” became more than just a goal—it became an obsession that would shape the next twelve months of both brothers’ lives.
At 24, the Tomoff twins were uniquely positioned to chase this ambitious target. Fresh out of Ohio University with business degrees, they both worked in Big Eight public accounting firms. While their professional careers were demanding, they were still unencumbered by family commitments or other obligations that might have divided their focus. This freedom, combined with their shared living arrangement and identical work schedules, created an ideal environment for serious training.
The Training Regimen
The twins’ preparation for the marathon was comprehensive and disciplined. They initiated a more structured training schedule about ten weeks before race day, targeting 70 miles per week. However, their actual mileage often fluctuated between 60 and 80 miles depending on the week’s demands. Rather than taking complete rest days, they opted for light runs to maintain their rhythm and keep their legs active.
Their training incorporated a mix of longer runs for endurance building and up-tempo and fartlek sessions to vary the pace and incorporate speed. The schedule was designed to build not just mileage but quality in their running. During the busy season at their accounting firms, when they sometimes wouldn’t get home until after 9:00 PM, they still made sure to fit in their runs, even if abbreviated.
The hilly terrain around Athens, Ohio, where they had trained during their college years, had built a foundation of strength that would serve them well on Cleveland’s flat course. While many runners sought flat courses to qualify for Boston, the Tomoff twins knew their hill-trained legs would give them an advantage in maintaining pace over 26.2 miles.
Nutrition and Lifestyle
At 24 years old, their approach to nutrition was straightforward—they ate when hungry, fueling their high-mileage training without overthinking the details. Looking back, they recognize that they might have unlocked even more potential with a more structured approach to nutrition and recovery. However, their youth and natural energy served them well, allowing them to maintain their demanding training and work schedule.
Pre-Race Preparation
The evening before the race followed a familiar pattern: a family gathering for a carb-loading dinner featuring lasagna. This tradition provided physical preparation and a moment of relaxation and connection before the challenge ahead.
Race day began at 5:00 AM, with their signature ritual of playing “Eye of the Tiger.” The song, which had become their anthem during training, now focused their minds on the task ahead. The three-hour window before the 8:00 AM start gave them ample time to prepare physically and mentally. The quiet drive downtown that Sunday morning took only 20 to 30 minutes, but they allowed extra time to ensure a relaxed preparation at the start area.
Race Day Support
The Revco-Cleveland Marathon had evolved into a family tradition, drawing supporters who understood the magnitude of what the twins were attempting. Each year, loved ones would gather along the course, creating islands of encouragement that helped carry the brothers through the challenging miles. Their sister Billie had even ridden her bike alongside them for entire marathons in previous years, providing companionship and moral support that made the miles seem shorter.
The twins’ support system extended beyond family. Friends and former teammates who understood the demands of distance running came out to cheer them on, creating an atmosphere of shared excitement and anticipation. These supporters lined the streets of Cleveland, particularly along Euclid Avenue, during the final mile, adding an electric energy to the race’s conclusion.
The Race Strategy
Having completed ten previous marathons each, the brothers brought considerable experience to their race strategy. Bill had successfully finished his previous attempts, while Don had learned valuable lessons from a couple of DNFs (Did Not Finish). Their plan was methodical: maintain open communication in the early miles, discuss pace and strategy while taking advantage of every hydration station, and alternate between water and Gatorade.
The goal was to run negative splits—completing the race’s second half faster than the first. This ambitious strategy required patience and discipline, especially in the early miles when fresh legs and race-day adrenaline could tempt them to push too hard too soon.
The Race Unfolds
As the race began, perfect conditions prevailed—cool and damp, ideal for marathon running. The familiar landmarks of their hometown course rolled by: Lake Road through Rocky River and Bay Village, the Detroit-Superior Bridge, and the streets of downtown Cleveland. The first half went according to plan, with the twins crossing the halfway point at 1:14:40, on target for their goal.
For 23 miles, they ran shoulder to shoulder, their synchronized footfalls a testament to years of training together. Their communication remained steady, though it became more focused as the miles accumulated. They knew they had no margin for error if they wanted to break 2:30.
Then, at mile 23, came the pivotal moment. “I have to back this pace down a bit,” Don said. Bill’s response was immediate and focused: “We have no room to spare to bring this home under 2:30.” With those words, the brothers separated, each running their separate race to the finish.
The Final Push
The crowd’s energy intensified as Bill approached the finish line on East 22nd Street. Among the cheering supporters, he heard a familiar voice. His college friend Bob Mirth called out, “You’ve come too far now—kick it into the finish!” That encouragement, from someone who deeply understood the moment’s significance, provided the final surge of energy Bill needed.
Bill crossed the finish line at 2:29:48, achieving his dream of breaking 2:30. Just 46 seconds later, Don finished at 2:30:34, demolishing his previous personal best by approximately seven minutes. It was a stunning achievement for both brothers—Bill had shaved 1:07 off his previous best, while Don had improved by nearly seven minutes.
Professional Recognition
The following Monday at Coopers & Lybrand, Bill received an unexpected phone call from Bill Reidy, a long-time partner. Reidy, a runner himself, called specifically to congratulate Bill on his performance. This recognition from a respected senior partner, someone who truly understood the magnitude of their achievement, added another layer of satisfaction to their accomplishment. It demonstrated how their discipline and dedication to running were noticed and valued even in their professional lives.
Looking Forward
The success of the 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon had an unexpected bonus for Bill—his sub-2:30 time guaranteed his acceptance into the New York City Marathon that October, adding another significant chapter to his running journey. However, both brothers were beginning to transition their focus to their professional careers fully. While running remained a passion, their competitive racing careers were entering their final phase.
Legacy
The 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon became more than just another race for the Tomoff twins. It was a testament to the power of shared dedication, disciplined preparation, and unwavering support—not just from each other but their entire network of family, friends, and colleagues. The experience reinforced their belief that “I can do hard things,” a mindset that would serve them well throughout their lives and careers.
This mindset proved particularly valuable in later years, especially when Bill’s son Ryan was diagnosed with childhood cancer at age two. The resilience and “one day at a time” approach learned through running helped the family face this challenge, as Ryan survived cancer five times over the next 28 years.
The lessons learned through running—particularly about preparation and perseverance—proved invaluable in their professional lives. The ability to stay calm and focused under pressure, developed through years of competitive running, became a crucial asset in their demanding accounting careers. The brothers realized their athletic background had taught them invaluable life lessons about enduring challenging moments, digging deep when things get hard, and maintaining a relentless learning mindset.
More than four decades later, the legend of that cool May morning continues to grow in the brothers’ memories. What seemed at the time like just another day of competition has become a touchstone moment—a perfect confluence of preparation, execution, and support that produced their finest marathon performances.
Bob Mirth’s tragic death in 1991, struck by a drunk driver while returning home from a marathon, adds a bittersweet note to the memory. His encouraging words at the finish line remain a poignant reminder of the power of friendship and support in achieving life’s most challenging goals.
The Eye of the Tiger still burns bright in their memories, a reminder of what can be achieved when dedication meets opportunity, when preparation meets perfect conditions, and when two brothers, supported by a community of family and friends, push each other to reach their absolute best.
For Bill and Don Tomoff, the 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon stands as more than just their fastest race—it represents the pinnacle of what they could achieve together, a testament to the unique advantage of having a twin brother as a training partner, and a reminder that with proper preparation, unwavering dedication, and the support of those who believe in you, dreams can become reality.
November 3, 2004 – a day our family will never forget. Duke University Medical Center at 7:45 PM – Ryan Tomoff begin receiving his bone marrow transplant, thanks to the selfless contribution of a donor in the Be The Match Registry (now known as NMDP – National Marrow Donor Program).
November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Terri, Olivia, Ryan, and Bill
Today, November 3, 2024, our family has the gift of celebrating Ryan’s 20th anniversary since receiving his transplant. Scott Harris, the donor later identified, and we all met on November 4, 2005!
November 4, 2005 | Ryan Tomoff meets donor Scott Harris
Reflecting back, the emotions are overwhelming for the care, compassion, and kindness, received by Ryan and our family. Scott Harris and everyone involved with Ryan’s journey is proof that everyone matters. Everyone makes a difference. On that 2004 morning in New Jersey, Scott went to a hospital to have his bone marrow harvested and sent to Duke. He and we knew none of the details – as 10-year old Ryan and our family waited anxiously in the hospital praying that all the logistics would go as planned.
20 years later, the emotions feel as if this was yesterday. Scott, thank you for your gift of life to Ryan. Our family is grateful for you, the decision you made to contribute, your wife Sarah, and all who supported you in your journey. We are blessed for the gift of life, and we live to pay forward the example of your selfless choice to donate your bone marrow to a stranger. May your action forever inspire others.
Calls to action:
PLEASE join the NMDP registry. YOU may be a lifesaving match for someone!
Who can you thank today for being a gift in your life? Thank and help someone today!
November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Family with Dr. Vinod PrasadNovember 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Family with Nurse Donna CurrieNovember 26, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Post Transplant | Ryan and Dr. Aziza ShadNovember 4, 2005 | Tomoff Family at Party for Life Donor Meeting | New York CityNovember 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day Certificate
In this post, I reflect on my year-long journey of daily intentional reviews, a practice I started on October 10, 2023. I’ve noticed a significant enhancement in my life appreciation by documenting five key areas daily. One area highlights helping others and shining a light on goodness. I feel more attuned to positive experiences that might have previously gone unnoticed.
I share two recent heartwarming encounters from a family trip to Kentucky and Ohio. The first occurred at KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky, where exceptional customer service prompted me to send a thank-you note. The second was at Home2 Suites By Hilton in Grove City, Ohio, where I acknowledged Bonnie, a breakfast attendant, for her outstanding efforts.
These experiences reinforce my belief in the power of recognizing and celebrating everyday kindness. By changing how we view life, we change our life itself. I encourage readers to prioritize daily acts of kindness and appreciation, emphasizing that even small gestures can create a ripple effect of positivity in the world. Who will you thank or lift up today?
Full Original Writing
Excellence and kindness. Help others and shine the light on the good in our world!
“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”
-Desmond Tutu
In a January 28, 2024, blog post, “Cultivating Contentment: The Potential of Intentional Daily Reviews,” I wrote about my initiative of prioritizing time each day to complete a handwritten index card where I intentionally reflected on five areas where I wanted to ensure I contemplated during my daily activities. Reflecting briefly and documenting with a pen and index card helped me internalize my day, appreciate it, and leave a brief trail of highlights. On October 10, 2024, I will celebrate one year of this daily process!
Because of my deliberate effort to highlight thoughts daily, I have noticed that my life is enhanced because I am actively working on appreciating each day and taking in experiences that in the past might have “slipped by me” in the rush of the day. My five areas, as shared in the blog post above, are:
Win
Gratitude
Stress or Tension
Help Others/Shine the Light
Activity/Personal Development
In this post, I will share two recent heartwarming experiences that fall under the category “Help Others/Shine the Light.” Inspired by Daniel Burns (KindLoook), Bruce Kasanoff (Help this person…), and Leanne Gordon (Thank you for…), I gain joy and fulfillment in approaching each day dedicated to looking for the good in humankind. I strive to participate in, recognize, and celebrate the kindness that essentially goes unappreciated as many of us rush through our days and only stop to acknowledge when experiences are unfavorable. One moment, one interaction, one note at a time, I will prioritize the time to appreciate and acknowledge others. While I cannot change the world, I might change someone’s day for the better. And for sure, I am changing my day and life! If we changethe lens of how we view life, we change our life.
Recently, we took a family trip to Frankfort, Louisville, and Grove City, Ohio. We visited bourbon distilleries in Kentucky and then attended a family wedding in Ohio! It was an active and fun-filled six days. While I did no formal writing each day, I always looked for people bringing good to the world. The process of being aware of moments of kindness brings me joy.
September 25, 2024 | Mark and Linda Misencik with Terri, Bill and Ryan Tomoff | Buffalo Trace DistillerySeptember 26, 2024 | Ryan Tomoff at Glenns Creek Distilling
How we conduct ourselves in daily interactions can have a positive ripple effect on others. Whether they acknowledge it or not, people treasure being seen and appreciated. We all have the power to make this happen for others. The trip resulted in many feel-good moments, and two notable experiences prompted me to send notes of appreciation:
**
Tuesday, September 24, 2024 | Dinner at KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky
Shortly after we checked into our hotel, my wife Terri, son Ryan, and I went to a nearby restaurant for hibachi and sushi. After a long day of travel (550 miles), we ended with a delightful time shared at KOI Express. While we thoroughly enjoyed the meal, the customer service experience was heartwarming and made our day! Moments like these deserve recognition. We sent the following note after we returned home:
“To staff at KOI Express,
On Monday, September 24th (about 7:00 PM), our family of three stopped in for a sit-down dinner.
Our service, from start to finish, was excellent. We wanted to express our sincere appreciation!
From the smile and patience in taking our order, taking the initiative to correct a mistake on the bill (we did not notice), bringing us our meals – delicious – and assisting with our clean-up, your service was inspiring!
Thank you, The Tomoff Family
PS – and your Dept. of Health assessment posted – 100%! #WellDone”
[If you are ever in Frankfort, check out the KOI Express location at 101 Jett Boulevard, Suite 500]
September 24, 2024 | KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky
**
Friday, September 27th to Sunday, September 29, 2024 | Morning Breakfast at Home2 Suites By Hilton in Grove City, Ohio
We had a wonderful time celebrating Taylor and Nate Kocan’s wedding in Grove City. Our accommodations at the Home2 Suites by Hilton were perfect! The morning breakfast routine was an excellent highlight (I love my morning quiet time). During the three mornings, I noted an employee taking great care in making sure the breakfast options were monitored and kept plentiful. She frequently cleared dishes and cleaned tables. With no fanfare, she set an incredible example of caring about her job and providing the best breakfast experience for the hotel guests.
On the second morning, I approached the employee and expressed my appreciation for her efforts. She was a bit surprised yet grateful for my comments. She felt good, and I felt good. All I had to do was get over a bit of discomfort in approaching her. We talked again on the third morning, and I learned her name was Bonnie. She was gracious and kind.
I sent the following note after returning home:
“Dear Bonnie,
Thank you for your incredible service (along with your team) in providing the morning breakfast during our recent stay (9/26 – 9/29/2024) at the Home2 Suites By Hilton!
Your attention to detail, maintenance of the breakfast area, and kind, helpful personality were a delight to observe. You all are appreciated—keep up the great work!
Much gratitude, The Tomoff Family”
September 27, 2024 | Home2 Suites By Hilton | Grove City, Ohio
“Always look for the helpers. There will always be helpers.”
—Advice from Mr. Rogers’s Mother
“If you look for the helpers, you’ll know that there’s hope.”
–Mr. Rogers
Over my life, I have found my dearest friendships and connections, and the people I admire most are those who genuinely care and lean into their life experiences and skills to help others. This is the tribe that Terri and I adore being surrounded by. The same theme applies to the work that Don and I do with Invenio Advisors and our #TwinzTalk initiative.
Last night, August 21, 2024, Terri and I had the privilege of attending the virtual book launch celebration for Erica Neubert Campbell‘s “The Mastectomy I Always Wanted.” The book was released on August 20th and is available on Amazon!
We ALL have talents and life experiences that make it possible for us to contribute to others. We can choose to care and be a helper.
Erica has the experience of losing her mother to breast cancer and is a breast cancer survivor. She is on a lifelong mission to help others who are faced with traveling the road of breast cancer. As Erica noted, [paraphrasing] “Cancer is a club no one wants to belong to, yet if needed, the club includes caring and compassionate people dedicated to helping each other.” She has dedicated her life’s work to helping others fighting cancer (a long-time Special Love board member and camp volunteer, and now Executive Director for the Pinky Swear Foundation, helping families fighting the financial strains of childhood cancer) and now courageously shares her firsthand battle with breast cancer, determined to help others become more empowered in their journey and find hope for moving forward.
Terri and I have known Erica for over 20 years. She is kind, determined, and relentlessly focused on helping others. Read her book and consider a friend taking your hand during difficult times, listening, helping, and letting you know you are not alone. You are not alone. On her website, Erica notes:
“As a woman dedicated to my work and family, I’m normally quite private. Yet, my vision is to help women and caregivers facing a mastectomy to be confident in their choices, free from fear, and see a better future.“
This resonates deeply with me. When our son, Ryan, was diagnosed with childhood cancer (leukemia) in 1996, Ryan, Terri, daughter Olivia, and I were thrown into the cancer community. I also lean toward being more private, but I joined Terri in our now lifelong commitment to helping others who are enduring the path of childhood cancer. Our determination is fierce, and we applaud and thank Erica for the help and hope she is bringing to others by sharing her story!
In March 2021, Terri publishedThe Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, with the unstoppable mission of “Helping one person, one family, at a time.” Erica, in her unique way of articulating meaningful thoughts, shared this beautiful, heartfelt quote that is included in the book:
“In a tough situation, few people wake up every morning and say, ‘I’m going to be resilient today.’ Most people under extreme stress wake up with heavy hearts but with a small quiet voice that tells them never to give up. Resilience is listening to that small inner voice and finding people and organizations to help you slowly turn up the volume.”
Upon completing Erica’s book, I paused and reflected with gratitude on her willingness to document and share her story to help others. On the resources page of her website, she shares many quotes that have inspired her. I leave you with two to consider:
“What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?
-George Eliot
“Once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through. You won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm is all about.”
-Haruki Murakami
Call to action… many of us have been, or will be, touched by cancer. “The Mastectomy I Always Wanted” takes you through one person’s journey, sharing the physical and innermost mental challenges experienced. Erica shares her reality and provides actionable thoughts and tips, such as how she shared her news (“I Hate Telling You This in an Email“), “Erica Health FAQs,” and “Top Ten Tips to Prepare for a Mastectomy.” While she writes from the perspective of her experience with breast cancer, the book’s reach will benefit anyone touched by cancer. Please do yourself a favor: buy this book, read, share, and discuss it with those in your life who may benefit. Please.
Erica, congratulations on publishing your book! Thank you for the help and hope you are bringing and are going to bring to so many breast cancer patients, caregivers, medical personnel, family, and friends. Your book is a critically important resource, spoken with vulnerability and courage from your heart. Thank you!
August 13, 2019 – TwinzTalk Bill and Don Tomoff at Special Love Camp Fantastic with Erica CampbellSweatpants and Coffee Image – Sharing Your Story Helps OthersAugust 23, 2024 – Terri and Bill Tomoff with book The Mastectomy I Always Wanted
Be curious and open to learning. This mindset I [more] intentionally adopted over a decade ago. I have always been an avid learner and fan of personal development, yet this centered around building technology skills that would enable me to contribute meaningfully to my professional world. Through studying the work of Seth Godin and Tom Peters, I became more interested in the “soft skills” (“real skills” per Seth) that allow us to improve our ability to interact and help others.
Enter Stoicism in 2019. Stoicism is a philosophy dedicated to taking care of the mind. We often take great care in looking after our physical health, finances, home, cars, etc… but neglect how we use or develop our minds. We judge, gossip, give unsolicited opinions, get anxious, and worry about things we don’t control. Over the past five years, I have prioritized striving to use and develop my mind in healthy and productive ways. Awareness was the first step. Then, I begin working intentionally on feeding my mind with healthy behaviors.
Since 2020, I have dedicated time for:
Daily reading meditation of Stoicism
Being involved in a community of practice surrounded by a generous, caring, and supportive tribe.
I have written daily for over three years and now contemplate, if not write daily, about personal development and memoir topics.
Reading, reading, and reading various nonfiction books that spark me to deeper reflection.
Throughout my career, I have grown to appreciate and understand the power of listening. Admittedly, I have much work to do! Kym’s book was thought-provoking and filled with real-life stories that resonated with me. The breakdown of her listening types into head, heart, and hands was insightful as I contemplated my listening type(s). My career has been in the business world of accounting and finance – I quickly identified my style as a “head” listener. Yet, I need to truly listen, and this book has inspired me to dig deeper into considering my listening styles and the styles of those I am interacting with.
I highly recommend Kym’s book to anyone looking to improve their relationships and communication ability. Self-awareness is a vital attribute we must continually work on for ourselves, and this book will inspire you to recognize the rewarding potential of being aware of your listening styles. While her book is directed at helping coaches, the truth is this book is an invaluable resource for anyone interested in being a better person, friend, partner, coworker, and community contributor.
The author reads the audible version of this book, and I especially enjoyed listening to her read the book! My journey of personal growth has evolved from developing technical skills to embracing the “soft skills” and focusing on developing the power of my mind. Through my intentional and consistent daily reading, community engagement, and continuous learning, I have learned that effective listening is critically important, and I can do work to improve my listening skills. Kym’s book, “Head, Heart, and Hands Listening in Coach Practice,” was inspiring, offering me valuable insights into different listening styles. By nurturing these skills, we can enhance our relationships, improve communication, and contribute more meaningfully to our communities and workplaces.
August 2024 – Bill Tomoff with Book Head, Heart, and Hands ListeningApril 29, 2023 – Bill Tomoff and Kymberly Dakin-Neal
While reflecting and working on this post, I decided to collaborate with ChatGPT and ask for input on my assessment of the extreme potential that gratitude can bring to our lives. My prompt and [edited] response received were as follows:
Prompt:
I am writing a blog post about gratitude. The opening sentence is, “A lens of gratitude changes everything.”
I believe having a gratitude mindset is the foundational base for living a life of contentment and happiness. If we are grateful, we live life with a “gentler” outlook on life, and thus, we lean toward kindness to ourselves and interactions with others. This creates a rippling cycle of positivity that can change our life experience.
You are an expert psychologist. Would you agree with my assessment?
Response:
Bill T note: ChatGPT agreed with my assessment, and I asked for further insight and suggestions. The edited result is below.
A lens of gratitude changes everything.
I believe having a gratitude mindset is the foundational base for living a life of contentment and happiness. If we are grateful, we live life with a “gentler” outlook on life, and thus, we lean toward kindness to ourselves and interactions with others. This creates a rippling cycle of positivity that can change our life experience.
The Science of Gratitude
Research in positive psychology has consistently shown that practicing gratitude can significantly enhance well-being and satisfaction with life. Grateful individuals often experience positive emotions, relish good experiences, and enjoy better health and relationships. Gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have, fostering a sense of abundance and reducing stress and anxiety.
A Gentler Outlook
Gratitude encourages a gentler outlook by promoting self-compassion and acceptance. When we acknowledge and appreciate the good in our lives, we become more forgiving and understanding of our own imperfections and those of others. This gentleness nurtures our mental health and creates a foundation for lasting happiness.
Kindness and Positivity
Gratitude also inspires kindness. When we feel grateful, we are more likely to engage in prosocial behaviors, such as helping others and expressing appreciation. These acts of kindness benefit those around us and enhance our sense of joy and fulfillment. This creates a positive feedback loop: gratitude leads to kindness and reinforces gratitude, amplifying the benefits for everyone involved.
The Ripple Effect
The impact of gratitude extends beyond individual experiences. Positive emotions and behaviors can spread through our social networks, influencing friends, family, and strangers. This ripple effect creates an environment of collective well-being where gratitude can inspire widespread positivity and connection.
Practical Ways to Cultivate Gratitude
Daily Reflection: Take a few moments each day to reflect on what you are grateful for. This can be done through journaling or simply pausing to appreciate the good things in your life.
Express Appreciation: Make it a habit to express gratitude to others. A simple thank you, or a heartfelt note can go a long way in strengthening relationships and spreading positivity.
Mindfulness Practice: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. Mindfulness helps us stay present and aware, making it easier to notice and appreciate the small joys in life.
Gratitude Rituals: Establish rituals that remind you to practice gratitude. This could be a gratitude jar where you write down things you’re thankful for or a gratitude walk where you focus on the beauty around you.
Encouragement
Embracing gratitude is a powerful choice that can transform your life. By fostering a mindset of appreciation, you cultivate a deeper sense of contentment and happiness. Remember, the journey of gratitude is ongoing, and every small step you take contributes to a more positive and fulfilling life. Start today, and watch as gratitude changes everything.
Full Original Writing
A lens of gratitude changes everything.
An aspect of my daily journaling includes prioritizing five minutes to reflect on my day and handwrite on an index card [at least] one comment in each of these areas:
Win
Gratitude
Stress/Tension
Help Others/Shine the Light
Activity/Development
The process has helped me be more intentional and aware of how I conduct myself throughout the day. Here, I will reference five articles that have inspired me to encourage more gratitude.
In each article, thoughts resonated that remind me to strive to be gentler with myself and others and grateful for the gifts in my life. Throughout our days, we have many opportunities to “flip the perspective” and be grateful vs. frustrated or inconvenienced. Here are a few examples that we all can relate to:
Moving along slowly in traffic other drivers take shortcuts and merge into the line you are waiting in. Remind yourself, “I am safely moving toward my destination and am helping others by allowing cars to merge into the line. I am grateful for a dependable car and the opportunity to help others, and I am confident others would give me the same kindness.“
Waiting in a long line at the grocery store. Reflect, “I am grateful that my family has the resources to purchase the food we need and the systems in place that make it possible for us to have the incredible convenience of a grocery store where we have access to an abundance of food choices when many people in the world do not have this blessing.“
Embrace the opportunity to contribute through simple micro-move actions such as picking up trash or safely returning a stray shopping cart to a corral. Consider, “I can help ease a path for others.
When we think outside our individual needs and turn our focus toward others, gratitude for our ability to help is enhanced. When we help, the lens through which we view life evolves us into a gentler and kinder presence. We are simply more pleasant to be around.
I encourage you to read the full articles linked here and watch the YouTube video by Rajesh Setty. Below are a few excerpts that will inspire you to read further.
Bruce Kasanoff, in “Help This Person,” encourages us every time we encounter another person to think: help this person. Bruce notes:
“Nothing else can so quickly supercharge your career and improve the quality of your life. And, yes, being genuinely helpful is the most substantive “self-promotion” possible.”
“By first thinking help this person, you will change the ways that others perceive you. There is no faster or more effective way to change your interactions and relationships. You will be viewed as a positive, constructive, helpful, and dependable person. People will think you are more perceptive, attentive, and understanding.”
Be considerate and appreciative of everyone you encounter. When we lift the spirits of others, a potential ripple effect can occur, and we feel good as well!
The following post by Dave Kerpen inspired this reflection about gratitude. Linda Misencik, a longtime friend (married to “the best dentist in the country” until he retired in 2018), read this post and sent it to me. Speaking of gratitude, I am thrilled Linda thought to send the article to me!
“When we are entitled, we think the world needs to go our way ‘just because’. When we are grateful, on the other hand, we appreciate the world around us no matter what, ‘just because’. I am grateful for so many things every day.”
This observation is incredible. When we believe events must go the way we want, that is an attitude of entitlement. Rather, understand that we don’t control external events. We control the reasoned choice of our mind (a critical aspect of Stoicism) and our response. When we embrace this understanding and are grateful for what we have, we move away from the perspective of entitlement.
The third and fourth posts to share are from Ryan Holiday‘s The Daily Stoic. I am a fan of Stoicism and look forward to the daily email (Monday through Friday) distribution. The two recent posts I encourage you to read:
“How we treat the little guy says a lot about us. How we treat the gate agent at the airline. How we treat the customer service representative. How we treat the waiter and the barista. This says a lot about us. Even when, perhaps especially when, they aren’t treating us well. Can we control our emotions? Can we contain our frustration? Can we remember that they are almost certainly having a hard time too? That no amount of yelling at someone making an hourly wage will make a plane appear or fix a stupid corporate policy?
We all have bad days…which means other people have bad days, too. We should strive to be patient. We should strive to understand.”
“There is also a debt that we have to pay back. Our ancestors are not all Union men. We live on stolen land. Our museums are filled with looted goods. Our progress came at great expense to the environment and to other species. Who made that device you’re holding? Who made that T-shirt you’re wearing?”
“Our ancestors were wonderful and they were terrible. We, their descendants all over the world, are indebted to them for both. We have to pay forward the good they did. We have to make right the wrongs they did. We don’t control what they did—to borrow from the dichotomy of control at the center of Stoicism—but we control what we do now, here in our own times. Doing better is up to us. This is what the virtue of justice demands. It’s what decency and duty demands of us.”
Two additional posts to share are a blog from Seth Godin and a YouTube video from Rajesh Setty:
“What Does The World Owe Us?” Seth notes this question comes from a perspective of entitlement. He encourages us to turn this question around and ask ourselves, “What do I owe the world?“
“On the other hand, “what do I owe the world?” opens the door for endless opportunity. When lots of people ask this question, the contributions add up, the connections are solidified and better is possible.
The best part is that waiting for the world to get things just right is exhausting and frustrating, while taking responsibility for what we might be able to contribute or lead can be energizing and fun.”
A regular practice of gratitude will change your perspective on life. We can all participate in making our world a better place. Micro-moves of intentionally contributing to others and our world at large can make a difference in ways unimagined. Just believe. One person, one action at a time, matters.
