The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Social Media Optimism: Celebrating Rajesh Setty – A Story of Connection and Growth

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

Social media often gets a bad rap, but my twin Don and I have discovered its immense potential for learning, connection, and personal growth. As James Clear recently noted, we experience what we expect to see – and our optimistic approach to social media since 2010 has proven remarkably rewarding.

One shining example is Rajesh Setty, whom I discovered in 2020 through a mutual connection, Tanmay Vora. Rajesh embodies what’s best about social media – he’s a prolific author, entrepreneur, and wisdom-sharer who believes success and fulfillment come from generosity and helping others. While we’ve never met in person, his daily insights on LinkedIn have become a source of inspiration and growth.

We view Rajesh as a “possibility trafficker” who, through generosity and kindness, plants seeds of opportunity and progress rather than dwelling on problems. His background includes founding multiple companies, writing 18 books, and creating thousands of “Napkinsights” – bite-sized wisdom that fits on a napkin.

Rajesh is one shining example of where social media has exceeded our early expectations from 2010, proving that with the right mindset, these platforms can be powerful tools for connection, personal development and meaningful relationships.

Full Original Writing

Don and I have relished using social media for learning, helping others, engagement, and connection. As James Clear noted in his weekly 3-2-1 Newsletter from October 31, 2024, you will experience what you expect to see.

“If you look for evidence that people are conspiring to hold you back and the world is working against you, then it will take you no time at all to find precisely that.

If you expect to encounter helpful people and experience a world that is working with you, then you find plenty of evidence to support that view as well.

The raw material for a sweet life or a bitter life is always there. The story you emphasize is the one you notice.”

Around 2010, we sensed that social media had the potential to positively impact our lives thanks to the ability to connect online with people around the world. We could not understand the depth or potential we would experience over the next 14 years. Yet, our sense of going forward with a mindset of possibility and “people are good” ultimately became a self-fulfilling prophecy. We saw an opportunity to learn from and help others, and we leaned into gently moving forward as we figured out the nuances of the new world we now had at our fingertips.

Today, I am shining the light on and celebrating a connection who is an incredibly caring and inspiring human being. We have not met in person, but his wisdom, consistent generosity, and desire to help others grow are an example and standard Don and I look up to. This person is Rajesh Setty. He leads with tremendous compassion and care for helping others.

Soon after the pandemic started in March 2020, I discovered Rajesh when he was working on his book Six Foot World. After seeing a post I shared on Twitter, another connection, Tanmay Vora, sent me a direct message, sharing that Rajesh was his friend and mentor. His encouragement led me to more actively follow Rajesh, and I have found Rajesh to be a genius thinker who believes success and fulfillment are tied to our willingness to be generous, kind, and helpful to others. This is a beautiful example of how social media can work, connecting people for genuine learning and connection!

Who is Rajesh? Please check out his “About” bio on LinkedIn for his background, but here is a portion of his highlights:

“My passion is to bring good and game-changing ideas to life with love.

My heart sings when an idea in my world comes to life that makes the world outside a better place to live. It could be a startup, a book, a framework, a speech, a course or a work of art – I have experimented with all of them. I have failed a LOT of times, learned from every single one of those failures and, because of that, I have also succeeded a few times on all the categories.

Starting 2000, I have been part of the founding teams of several companies (10x) in the technology and publishing space. Couple of them have got an exit, couple of them have reached the startup graveyard and the rest are making progress. The latest venture Audvisor (www.audvisor.com) is a mobile audio streaming app for micro-podcasts from over 125 world-class experts. We have over 3,000 micro-podcasts on more than a dozen topics on personal and professional growth.

Starting 1983, I have written and published several books (18x) with my first book published at the age of thirteen. Books include four murder mysteries, a collection of poems, a book on mathematics, several business books and two books on how to make people think. I also maintain a blog with close to 2,000 blog posts and have contributed to Huffington Post, VentureBeat, Sandhill.com, Yourstory.com and Salesforce.com.

Starting 2016, I have created around 2500 Napkinsights ( Napkinsight = an insight that can fit on a paper napkin ). i have also created a box of 101 uniquely designed thank you cards, two playing card decks where every card has a mini saga (a story in exactly 50 words each) and more.”

Rajesh shares much of his content on LinkedIn and has created a historical log of his posts called “Thinking in Progress: Rajesh Setty’s writings on LinkedIn.“

I look forward to Rajesh’s daily drop of wisdom and encouragement. A recent share on October 30, 2024 is a beautiful example to share [Bold emphasis is mine]:

Beware of “Problem Traffickers” and Embrace “Possibility Traffickers”

We all know drug trafficking is harmful, but there’s a less obvious form of trafficking that can be just as toxic: problem trafficking. These individuals constantly introduce problems into your mind space—problems you can’t solve and they aren’t solving either. They insist on making these issues a focal point of your attention and demand your engagement, often using guilt or virtue signaling to keep you invested. This form of mental hijacking wastes your precious time and energy, leaving you distracted from addressing meaningful challenges where you can actually make a difference.

“Problem traffickers” excel at framing every discussion around why a particular problem needs urgent attention. They pull you into circular debates or endless analysis, preventing you from taking decisive action on issues within your control. It’s not that the problems they raise are entirely irrelevant, but their intention is not to solve them—just to endlessly discuss and amplify them. This not only drains your energy but also erodes your sense of agency over time.

On the flip side, there’s a small group of rare and valuable people known as “possibility traffickers.” These individuals are intentional about planting seeds of opportunity and progress. They are the ones who inspire action by focusing on what’s possible rather than what’s broken. Possibility traffickers don’t ignore problems; instead, they reframe them into opportunities for growth and improvement. Their presence is energizing and transformative, shifting your mindset towards constructive thinking.

Cherish those few “possibility traffickers” in your life—they are the people who help you see beyond limitations and encourage you to pursue meaningful change. They are the true catalysts for growth and progress in a world crowded with distractions.

Rajesh is most definitely a “possibility trafficker!”

Thank you, Rajesh, for consistently embodying what generosity and wisdom-sharing can look like online and in real life. Your insights, thought-provoking wisdom, and genuine desire to help others grow have created ripples of positive impact. You are showing that world that social media can be a powerful force for good when approached with intention and kindness. For anyone seeking to grow personally and professionally, Don and I strongly encourage you to follow Rajesh and explore his extensive body of work. His example highlights what is possible, reminding us that generously sharing our gifts with others can be transformative. Believe.

To learn more about Rajesh, below are several resources that I have shared often. Follow his content for guaranteed inspiration, perspective-shifting, and personal growth if you embrace his encouragement. I hope you find his insights as valuable as Don and I do!

Website – https://rajeshsetty.com/
LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/rajesh301/
Skip Lineberg‘s The Main Thing podcast:
- Episode 63, February 15, 2022 (14 minutes) – Rajesh Setty Shares Upbeat Wisdom
- Episode 64, February 24, 2024 (33 minutes) – The Whole Thing with Rajesh Setty
Rajesh’s newest book ‘Unshaken.’ See Advance praise below, from two of my favorite authors (Seth Godin and Tom Peters)!
For a complete list of Rajesh’s wisdom shared on LinkedIn, bookmark this link in your web browser – Thinking in Progress
A talk about Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time. A sentiment he shares is now one I reflect on often – “A life-changing gift deserves a lifetime of gratitude.” Any success in my life has resulted from help from others, and I am now very intentional to be grateful and express my appreciation for others and the help that has come through my life.
Regarding the use of social media, Rajesh reminds us that whether we actively choose (or not) to have a presence on social media, we are making a choice. Often, before a person meets you in real life, they will search for you on the internet. What impression do you make before any IRL meeting? This impression is what Rajesh refers to as The Zero-eth Impression.
I purchased Rajesh’s coffee table book, Napkinsights, in 2023. This book is an inspiring conversation starter.
I purchased and completed Rajesh’s course The Right Hustle: Fine-tuning the Art of Moving the Needle in 2022. The course was tremendous, and I believe everyone can benefit personally and professionally from his ideas. I highly recommend attending this course—and then revisiting it over and over, thanks to the lifetime access that comes with the purchase!

**2024 | Bill and Don Tomoff with Napkinsights Coffee Table Book**

**November 2023 | Napkinsights book by Rajesh Setty**

Book‘Unshaken’ Advance praise:

Seth Godin

Author of This is Marketing

“Here’s my endorsement: ‘I started reading and couldn’t stop. Elaboration: I’ve read scores of thriller blurbs which say ‘Unputdownable.’ I don’t think I had ever experienced literal unputdownableism until I read Raj’s book. I didn’t ‘learn from’ UNSHAKEN. What happened was that I was deeply affected. It caused reflection and smiles and frowns and discomfort and comfort. That’s the greatest possible praise, right?”

Tom Peters

Author of The Excellence Dividend and many other bestsellers

“‘Unshaken’ is Rajesh’s unwillingness to be defeated. Faced with serious challenges, he still has the grace to take it on the chin. It is nothing short of inspiring to see Rajesh turning problems into opportunities, and in the process, give us the simplest lesson of all. No matter what, keep moving.”

Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time (21 minutes)

At about 4:30, don’t miss “Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude.”

The Zero-eth Impression (5 minutes)

Visual | Rajesh Setty Zero-eth Impression

**November 2024 | Rajesh Setty on LinkedIn**

November 5, 2024November 5, 2024

The Eye of the Tiger: A Tale of Twin Brothers and One Unforgettable Marathon

Please note that this document results from a discussion between Bill and Don Tomoff and an iterative approach to using AI Large Language Models (LLMs) through original writing and answering a thorough 35-question deep dive Q&A to help provide greater insight into the twins’ efforts toward their 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon. This final result is a collaboration with Claude AI.

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NotebookLM Audio Link (10 minutes)

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Key Takeaways

1. The Power of Shared Goals

The unique dynamic of being twins created an unparalleled training advantage. Living together and working similar schedules, Bill and Don created a natural accountability system that enhanced their preparation. Their shared commitment amplified their efforts, demonstrating how having the right training partner can multiply success.

2. Preparation Meets Opportunity

The brothers’ success wasn’t just about race day performance—it was the culmination of years of disciplined training, including their college running experience in the hilly terrain of Athens, Ohio. When perfect weather conditions arrived on race day, they were ready to capitalize on the opportunity because of their thorough years of preparation and experience.

3. The Value of Experience

Having completed multiple previous marathons, both brothers brought valuable knowledge to their approach. Bill’s consistent finishes and Don’s learning experiences from DNFs contributed to their strategic wisdom. They understood the importance of pacing, hydration, and mental preparation—crucial in their peak performance.

4. Strategic Patience

Their race execution demonstrated the importance of disciplined pacing and strategic patience. Targeting negative splits and maintaining steady communication throughout the race showed how controlling early enthusiasm can lead to stronger finishing performances. Their ability to run together for 23 miles exemplified this strategic approach.

5. The Impact of Support Systems

Family, friends, and colleagues played crucial roles in their success. From pre-race family dinners to race-day supporters along the course to professional recognition afterward, their achievement was enhanced by a community that understood and celebrated their efforts. This highlights how personal achievements often rely on a broader support network.

6. The Role of Timing in Life

At age 24, the twins recognized and seized an opportune moment—when they had the freedom to dedicate themselves fully to training while building their professional careers. This teaches the importance of recognizing and maximizing such windows of opportunity.

7. Transferable Skills

The discipline and resilience developed through their running journey transferred directly to their professional lives and personal challenges. The “I can do hard things” mindset they developed proved valuable in their accounting careers and in facing life’s unexpected challenges, such as Bill’s son Ryan’s battle with cancer.

8. The Power of Incremental Progress

Don’s journey from a high school pole vaulter to running a 2:30:34 marathon demonstrates how consistent effort and gradual improvement can lead to remarkable achievements. His seven-minute improvement in the marathon shows that significant breakthroughs are possible through dedicated training.

9. Mental Toughness

Their ability to maintain focus and execution during the crucial final miles of the marathon, especially after separating at mile 23, demonstrated the mental fortitude they had developed. This mental toughness, forged through years of training and competition, proved valuable beyond their running careers.

10. The Legacy of Achievement

Their performance that day created a lasting legacy that continues to inspire. The achievement wasn’t just about the times they ran—it was about the broader lesson that ambitious goals can be achieved with proper preparation, unwavering dedication, and strong support. Their story demonstrates how a single day of excellence can provide inspiration and lessons for decades.

These takeaways illustrate that the 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon was more than just a race—a culmination of preparation, partnership, and perseverance that yielded lessons far beyond the finish line. The Tomoff twins’ experience shows how athletic achievements can provide a foundation for success in all areas of life while highlighting the unique advantages of having a twin brother as a training partner and the importance of a robust support system in achieving ambitious goals.

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**May 15, 1983 | Revco-Cleveland Marathon | Bill and Don Tomoff**

Complete Document

On a cool, drizzly morning in May 1983, twin brothers Bill and Don Tomoff stood at the starting line of the Revco-Cleveland Marathon, their hearts pounding with anticipation. The familiar opening riffs of Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” still echoed in their minds from their pre-dawn preparation ritual. Neither brother knew it then, but they were about to experience a defining moment of their competitive running careers—supported by a network of family and friends who had been integral to their journey.

Early Foundations

The Tomoff twins brought unique strengths to their running partnership. In high school, Bill had distinguished himself as an exceptional distance runner, ranking seventh in Ohio in the two-mile run and finishing 31st at the state cross-country meet. His school records in the mile (4:28.9) and two-mile (9:31.5) stood as a testament to his early promise. Don, meanwhile, had pursued a more diverse athletic path, balancing cross-country with pole vaulting during track season. Despite splitting his focus, he consistently performed well, often finishing as the second man on their seven-man varsity team and securing 15th place in the Southwest Conference meet while Bill finished fourth.

Their paths briefly diverged in college when Don initially attended Ohio State University before transferring to Ohio University. NCAA regulations in the 1970s required him to sit out a year from competition after the transfer, though he continued training with the team. During his senior year at OU, Don achieved modest but well-earned success, and in the two years following graduation, he began to come into his own as a distance runner. While he never quite caught up to Bill in road races or marathons, the gap between them had significantly narrowed—a testament to his determination and growth as an athlete.

The Path to the Starting Line

The journey to this pivotal race began a year earlier when Bill completed the 1982 Revco-Cleveland Marathon in 2:30:55. Missing the sub-2:30 mark by less than a minute sparked a fire within him. “Next year, I am going to break 2 hours and 30 minutes!” became more than just a goal—it became an obsession that would shape the next twelve months of both brothers’ lives.

At 24, the Tomoff twins were uniquely positioned to chase this ambitious target. Fresh out of Ohio University with business degrees, they both worked in Big Eight public accounting firms. While their professional careers were demanding, they were still unencumbered by family commitments or other obligations that might have divided their focus. This freedom, combined with their shared living arrangement and identical work schedules, created an ideal environment for serious training.

The Training Regimen

The twins’ preparation for the marathon was comprehensive and disciplined. They initiated a more structured training schedule about ten weeks before race day, targeting 70 miles per week. However, their actual mileage often fluctuated between 60 and 80 miles depending on the week’s demands. Rather than taking complete rest days, they opted for light runs to maintain their rhythm and keep their legs active.

Their training incorporated a mix of longer runs for endurance building and up-tempo and fartlek sessions to vary the pace and incorporate speed. The schedule was designed to build not just mileage but quality in their running. During the busy season at their accounting firms, when they sometimes wouldn’t get home until after 9:00 PM, they still made sure to fit in their runs, even if abbreviated.

The hilly terrain around Athens, Ohio, where they had trained during their college years, had built a foundation of strength that would serve them well on Cleveland’s flat course. While many runners sought flat courses to qualify for Boston, the Tomoff twins knew their hill-trained legs would give them an advantage in maintaining pace over 26.2 miles.

Nutrition and Lifestyle

At 24 years old, their approach to nutrition was straightforward—they ate when hungry, fueling their high-mileage training without overthinking the details. Looking back, they recognize that they might have unlocked even more potential with a more structured approach to nutrition and recovery. However, their youth and natural energy served them well, allowing them to maintain their demanding training and work schedule.

Pre-Race Preparation

The evening before the race followed a familiar pattern: a family gathering for a carb-loading dinner featuring lasagna. This tradition provided physical preparation and a moment of relaxation and connection before the challenge ahead.

Race day began at 5:00 AM, with their signature ritual of playing “Eye of the Tiger.” The song, which had become their anthem during training, now focused their minds on the task ahead. The three-hour window before the 8:00 AM start gave them ample time to prepare physically and mentally. The quiet drive downtown that Sunday morning took only 20 to 30 minutes, but they allowed extra time to ensure a relaxed preparation at the start area.

Race Day Support

The Revco-Cleveland Marathon had evolved into a family tradition, drawing supporters who understood the magnitude of what the twins were attempting. Each year, loved ones would gather along the course, creating islands of encouragement that helped carry the brothers through the challenging miles. Their sister Billie had even ridden her bike alongside them for entire marathons in previous years, providing companionship and moral support that made the miles seem shorter.

The twins’ support system extended beyond family. Friends and former teammates who understood the demands of distance running came out to cheer them on, creating an atmosphere of shared excitement and anticipation. These supporters lined the streets of Cleveland, particularly along Euclid Avenue, during the final mile, adding an electric energy to the race’s conclusion.

The Race Strategy

Having completed ten previous marathons each, the brothers brought considerable experience to their race strategy. Bill had successfully finished his previous attempts, while Don had learned valuable lessons from a couple of DNFs (Did Not Finish). Their plan was methodical: maintain open communication in the early miles, discuss pace and strategy while taking advantage of every hydration station, and alternate between water and Gatorade.

The goal was to run negative splits—completing the race’s second half faster than the first. This ambitious strategy required patience and discipline, especially in the early miles when fresh legs and race-day adrenaline could tempt them to push too hard too soon.

The Race Unfolds

As the race began, perfect conditions prevailed—cool and damp, ideal for marathon running. The familiar landmarks of their hometown course rolled by: Lake Road through Rocky River and Bay Village, the Detroit-Superior Bridge, and the streets of downtown Cleveland. The first half went according to plan, with the twins crossing the halfway point at 1:14:40, on target for their goal.

For 23 miles, they ran shoulder to shoulder, their synchronized footfalls a testament to years of training together. Their communication remained steady, though it became more focused as the miles accumulated. They knew they had no margin for error if they wanted to break 2:30.

Then, at mile 23, came the pivotal moment. “I have to back this pace down a bit,” Don said. Bill’s response was immediate and focused: “We have no room to spare to bring this home under 2:30.” With those words, the brothers separated, each running their separate race to the finish.

The Final Push

The crowd’s energy intensified as Bill approached the finish line on East 22nd Street. Among the cheering supporters, he heard a familiar voice. His college friend Bob Mirth called out, “You’ve come too far now—kick it into the finish!” That encouragement, from someone who deeply understood the moment’s significance, provided the final surge of energy Bill needed.

Bill crossed the finish line at 2:29:48, achieving his dream of breaking 2:30. Just 46 seconds later, Don finished at 2:30:34, demolishing his previous personal best by approximately seven minutes. It was a stunning achievement for both brothers—Bill had shaved 1:07 off his previous best, while Don had improved by nearly seven minutes.

Professional Recognition

The following Monday at Coopers & Lybrand, Bill received an unexpected phone call from Bill Reidy, a long-time partner. Reidy, a runner himself, called specifically to congratulate Bill on his performance. This recognition from a respected senior partner, someone who truly understood the magnitude of their achievement, added another layer of satisfaction to their accomplishment. It demonstrated how their discipline and dedication to running were noticed and valued even in their professional lives.

Looking Forward

The success of the 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon had an unexpected bonus for Bill—his sub-2:30 time guaranteed his acceptance into the New York City Marathon that October, adding another significant chapter to his running journey. However, both brothers were beginning to transition their focus to their professional careers fully. While running remained a passion, their competitive racing careers were entering their final phase.

Legacy

The 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon became more than just another race for the Tomoff twins. It was a testament to the power of shared dedication, disciplined preparation, and unwavering support—not just from each other but their entire network of family, friends, and colleagues. The experience reinforced their belief that “I can do hard things,” a mindset that would serve them well throughout their lives and careers.

This mindset proved particularly valuable in later years, especially when Bill’s son Ryan was diagnosed with childhood cancer at age two. The resilience and “one day at a time” approach learned through running helped the family face this challenge, as Ryan survived cancer five times over the next 28 years.

The lessons learned through running—particularly about preparation and perseverance—proved invaluable in their professional lives. The ability to stay calm and focused under pressure, developed through years of competitive running, became a crucial asset in their demanding accounting careers. The brothers realized their athletic background had taught them invaluable life lessons about enduring challenging moments, digging deep when things get hard, and maintaining a relentless learning mindset.

More than four decades later, the legend of that cool May morning continues to grow in the brothers’ memories. What seemed at the time like just another day of competition has become a touchstone moment—a perfect confluence of preparation, execution, and support that produced their finest marathon performances.

Bob Mirth’s tragic death in 1991, struck by a drunk driver while returning home from a marathon, adds a bittersweet note to the memory. His encouraging words at the finish line remain a poignant reminder of the power of friendship and support in achieving life’s most challenging goals.

The Eye of the Tiger still burns bright in their memories, a reminder of what can be achieved when dedication meets opportunity, when preparation meets perfect conditions, and when two brothers, supported by a community of family and friends, push each other to reach their absolute best.

For Bill and Don Tomoff, the 1983 Revco-Cleveland Marathon stands as more than just their fastest race—it represents the pinnacle of what they could achieve together, a testament to the unique advantage of having a twin brother as a training partner, and a reminder that with proper preparation, unwavering dedication, and the support of those who believe in you, dreams can become reality.

November 3, 2024

More Than a Match: Two Decades of Life, Love, and Gratitude After Bone Marrow Transplant

November 3, 2004 – a day our family will never forget. Duke University Medical Center at 7:45 PM – Ryan Tomoff begin receiving his bone marrow transplant, thanks to the selfless contribution of a donor in the Be The Match Registry (now known as NMDP – National Marrow Donor Program).

**November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Terri, Olivia, Ryan, and Bill**

Today, November 3, 2024, our family has the gift of celebrating Ryan’s 20th anniversary since receiving his transplant. Scott Harris, the donor later identified, and we all met on November 4, 2005!

**November 4, 2005 | Ryan Tomoff meets donor Scott Harris**

Reflecting back, the emotions are overwhelming for the care, compassion, and kindness, received by Ryan and our family. Scott Harris and everyone involved with Ryan’s journey is proof that everyone matters. Everyone makes a difference. On that 2004 morning in New Jersey, Scott went to a hospital to have his bone marrow harvested and sent to Duke. He and we knew none of the details – as 10-year old Ryan and our family waited anxiously in the hospital praying that all the logistics would go as planned.

20 years later, the emotions feel as if this was yesterday. Scott, thank you for your gift of life to Ryan. Our family is grateful for you, the decision you made to contribute, your wife Sarah, and all who supported you in your journey. We are blessed for the gift of life, and we live to pay forward the example of your selfless choice to donate your bone marrow to a stranger. May your action forever inspire others.

Calls to action:

PLEASE join the NMDP registry. YOU may be a lifesaving match for someone!
Who can you thank today for being a gift in your life? Thank and help someone today!

In March 2021, Terri Tomoff wrote her memoir, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey From Mayhem to Miracles, of Ryan and our family’s journey through Ryan’s cancer experiences. The memoir kindle and paperback can be found on Amazon and audio on Spotify or Apple podcasts.

**November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Family with Dr. Vinod Prasad**

**November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day | Family with Nurse Donna Currie**

**November 26, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Post Transplant | Ryan and Dr. Aziza Shad**

**November 4, 2005 | Tomoff Family at Party for Life Donor Meeting | New York City**

**November 3, 2004 | Ryan Tomoff Transplant Day Certificate**

October 3, 2024October 6, 2024

The Art of Noticing: Celebrating Unsung Heroes in Our Daily Lives

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

In this post, I reflect on my year-long journey of daily intentional reviews, a practice I started on October 10, 2023. I’ve noticed a significant enhancement in my life appreciation by documenting five key areas daily. One area highlights helping others and shining a light on goodness. I feel more attuned to positive experiences that might have previously gone unnoticed.

I share two recent heartwarming encounters from a family trip to Kentucky and Ohio. The first occurred at KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky, where exceptional customer service prompted me to send a thank-you note. The second was at Home2 Suites By Hilton in Grove City, Ohio, where I acknowledged Bonnie, a breakfast attendant, for her outstanding efforts.

These experiences reinforce my belief in the power of recognizing and celebrating everyday kindness. By changing how we view life, we change our life itself. I encourage readers to prioritize daily acts of kindness and appreciation, emphasizing that even small gestures can create a ripple effect of positivity in the world. Who will you thank or lift up today?

Full Original Writing

Excellence and kindness. Help others and shine the light on the good in our world!

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”

-Desmond Tutu

In a January 28, 2024, blog post, “Cultivating Contentment: The Potential of Intentional Daily Reviews,” I wrote about my initiative of prioritizing time each day to complete a handwritten index card where I intentionally reflected on five areas where I wanted to ensure I contemplated during my daily activities. Reflecting briefly and documenting with a pen and index card helped me internalize my day, appreciate it, and leave a brief trail of highlights. On October 10, 2024, I will celebrate one year of this daily process!

Because of my deliberate effort to highlight thoughts daily, I have noticed that my life is enhanced because I am actively working on appreciating each day and taking in experiences that in the past might have “slipped by me” in the rush of the day. My five areas, as shared in the blog post above, are:

Win
Gratitude
Stress or Tension
Help Others/Shine the Light
Activity/Personal Development

In this post, I will share two recent heartwarming experiences that fall under the category “Help Others/Shine the Light.” Inspired by Daniel Burns (KindLoook), Bruce Kasanoff (Help this person…), and Leanne Gordon (Thank you for…), I gain joy and fulfillment in approaching each day dedicated to looking for the good in humankind. I strive to participate in, recognize, and celebrate the kindness that essentially goes unappreciated as many of us rush through our days and only stop to acknowledge when experiences are unfavorable. One moment, one interaction, one note at a time, I will prioritize the time to appreciate and acknowledge others. While I cannot change the world, I might change someone’s day for the better. And for sure, I am changing my day and life! If we change the lens of how we view life, we change our life.

Recently, we took a family trip to Frankfort, Louisville, and Grove City, Ohio. We visited bourbon distilleries in Kentucky and then attended a family wedding in Ohio! It was an active and fun-filled six days. While I did no formal writing each day, I always looked for people bringing good to the world. The process of being aware of moments of kindness brings me joy.

**September 25, 2024 | Mark and Linda Misencik with Terri, Bill and Ryan Tomoff | Buffalo Trace Distillery**

**September 26, 2024 | Ryan Tomoff at Glenns Creek Distilling**

How we conduct ourselves in daily interactions can have a positive ripple effect on others. Whether they acknowledge it or not, people treasure being seen and appreciated. We all have the power to make this happen for others. The trip resulted in many feel-good moments, and two notable experiences prompted me to send notes of appreciation:

Tuesday, September 24, 2024 | Dinner at KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky

Shortly after we checked into our hotel, my wife Terri, son Ryan, and I went to a nearby restaurant for hibachi and sushi. After a long day of travel (550 miles), we ended with a delightful time shared at KOI Express. While we thoroughly enjoyed the meal, the customer service experience was heartwarming and made our day! Moments like these deserve recognition. We sent the following note after we returned home:

“To staff at KOI Express,

On Monday, September 24th (about 7:00 PM), our family of three stopped in for a sit-down dinner.

Our service, from start to finish, was excellent. We wanted to express our sincere appreciation!

From the smile and patience in taking our order, taking the initiative to correct a mistake on the bill (we did not notice), bringing us our meals – delicious – and assisting with our clean-up, your service was inspiring!

Thank you, The Tomoff Family

PS – and your Dept. of Health assessment posted – 100%! #WellDone”

[If you are ever in Frankfort, check out the KOI Express location at 101 Jett Boulevard, Suite 500]

**September 24, 2024 | KOI Express in Frankfort, Kentucky**

Friday, September 27th to Sunday, September 29, 2024 | Morning Breakfast at Home2 Suites By Hilton in Grove City, Ohio

We had a wonderful time celebrating Taylor and Nate Kocan’s wedding in Grove City. Our accommodations at the Home2 Suites by Hilton were perfect! The morning breakfast routine was an excellent highlight (I love my morning quiet time). During the three mornings, I noted an employee taking great care in making sure the breakfast options were monitored and kept plentiful. She frequently cleared dishes and cleaned tables. With no fanfare, she set an incredible example of caring about her job and providing the best breakfast experience for the hotel guests.

On the second morning, I approached the employee and expressed my appreciation for her efforts. She was a bit surprised yet grateful for my comments. She felt good, and I felt good. All I had to do was get over a bit of discomfort in approaching her. We talked again on the third morning, and I learned her name was Bonnie. She was gracious and kind.

I sent the following note after returning home:

“Dear Bonnie,

Thank you for your incredible service (along with your team) in providing the morning breakfast during our recent stay (9/26 – 9/29/2024) at the Home2 Suites By Hilton!

Your attention to detail, maintenance of the breakfast area, and kind, helpful personality were a delight to observe. You all are appreciated—keep up the great work!

Much gratitude, The Tomoff Family”

**September 27, 2024 | Home2 Suites By Hilton | Grove City, Ohio**

Image credit: https://www.hilton.com/en/hotels/lckgcht-home2-suites-grove-city-columbus/

**September 27, 2024 | Breakfast in Lobby | Home2 Suites By Hilton**

Call to action: Prioritize daily time for kindness and appreciation to help make your world a better place. The good you put into the world matters.

Who can you thank or lift up today? You never know when your actions will inspire a ripple impact into the world.

**September 28, 2024 | Bill, Ryan, and Terri Tomoff, Olivia and Bo Hudson | Taylor and Nate Kocan Wedding Reception**

September 16, 2024September 16, 2024

The Long Game of Kindness: Shifting from Daily Distractions to Lasting Impact

“What we are taught, we learn. What we cultivate, we absorb. There are no small acts of kindness. Each compassionate deed is like watering a redwood seed. You never know what heights it might reach.”

–Eric Weiner book The Socrates Express, interpretation of Confucius Philosophy

This post is inspired by Seth Godin’s blog post, “Are you day trading?” published on December 28, 2017 (Ship It calendar day: September 14, 2024), and Eric Weiner’s book The Socrates Express. In Seth’s post, he references the day-trading many of us do every day that compromises our ability to bring our best to our lives and the work we do. We don’t even realize this is happening! Consider this from his post:

“We’re hooked into something volatile, easily measured and emotional. We overdo our response to news, good or bad, and let it distract us from the long-term job of living a useful life.”

“It’ll be volatile with or without your help. Better to set it aside and get back to the real work of making a difference instead.”

Better to set it aside and get back to the real work of making a difference instead. We must be disciplined and intentional with our precious asset of time. Where is your time being “stolen” by daily drama or mainstream news that gets us hyped up? Yet, if you pause and contemplate for a few seconds, you can decide not to engage with the moment and go about making a difference in your life! Small daily micro-moments can shift your entire presence in your world and interactions with others. Consider:

Eliminate consuming mainstream media news.
Do not judge or offer an unsolicited opinion.
Do not gossip.
Read a book.
Be more patient.
Be more tolerant.
Stay calm.
Help others.
Be grateful.
Express thanks and appreciation.
Adopt a mindset of abundance and generosity. Be kind.

All of the above examples are making a difference. How we live daily will contribute to making a difference for ourselves and others. Every moment we allow agitation, frustration, or anger to enter our sphere is time forever lost to the possibility of kindness.

**December 11, 2022 | Bill and Terri Tomoff IRL Meetup with Seth Godin**

**June 2019 – TwinzTalk at Kelleys Island – Be Good To People**

Kindness. Small acts of kindness will change your world. Know this. I recently listened to Eric Weiner’s The Socrates Express: In Search of Life Lessons from Dead Philosophers. From the Amazon book description:

“Eric Weiner combines his twin passions for philosophy and travel in a globe-trotting pilgrimage that uncovers surprising life lessons from great thinkers around the world, from Rousseau to Nietzsche, Confucius to Simone Weil. Traveling by train (the most thoughtful mode of transport), he journeys thousands of miles, making stops in Athens, Delhi, Wyoming, Coney Island, Frankfurt, and points in between to reconnect with philosophy’s original purpose: teaching us how to lead wiser, more meaningful lives. From Socrates and ancient Athens to Beauvoir and 20th-century Paris, Weiner’s chosen philosophers and places provide important practical and spiritual lessons as we navigate today’s chaotic times.”

In Chapter 9, How to Be Kind like Confucius, Eric notes this about kindness [Bold emphasis is mine]:

“What we are taught, we learn. What we cultivate, we absorb. There are no small acts of kindness. Each compassionate deed is like watering a redwood seed. You never know what heights it might reach.”

“Kindness is always there, whether we notice it or not. “The Great Asymmetry,” the late Harvard paleontologist Stephen Jay Gould called this phenomenon. “Every spectacular incident of evil will be balanced by 10,000 acts of kindness,” he said. We witness these acts every day on our streets and in our homes and, yes, on the New York subway. An elderly woman braves a cold November day to feed the neighborhood squirrels; a businessman, late for a meeting, stops to help a single mom carry the groceries to her car; a teenager, skateboard in hand, notices an expired parking meter and drops a quarter in. That these ordinary acts of kindness rarely make the news renders them no less real, or heroic.

It is our duty, almost a holy responsibility, says Gould, “to record and honor the victorious weight of these innumerable little kindnesses.” Gould, a hard-nosed scientist, saw a practical reason for registering goodness. Kindness honored is kindness multiplied. Kindness is contagious. Witnessing acts of moral beauty triggers a flood of physical and emotional responses. Observing acts of kindness encourages us to act more kindly ourselves, a phenomenon confirmed in several recent studies.

I experience the kindness contagion firsthand. After my week riding the F train, hyperalert to acts of kindness, I become kinder myself. I hold doors for people. I pick up litter. I thank my barista—and leave a tip when she isn’t looking. These small acts won’t snare me the Nobel Peace Prize or sainthood, I realize. But it’s a start. A few more drops on the redwood seed.”

Are you interested in learning more and being more intentional about kindness (please…)? Check out KindLoook.com (Look, a little longer, with kindness…), developed by Daniel Burns, a tremendous human who encourages us all to notice and celebrate acts of kindness. Join the movement of kindness!

Our world is too often dominated by noise and negativity, yet we have the power to create a different reality. If we take small steps to put aside the noise and instead focus on micro-moments of small, intentional acts of kindness, we can be part of a movement toward positive change. Whether eliminating toxic media consumption, practicing patience, being more tolerant, or helping others, each small act contributes to a larger culture of kindness. As we become more aware of the kindness around us, we become kinder ourselves, creating a contagious cycle of good.

**Rajesh Setty | Rules for Heart-Led Relationships**

**Be Kind – Bill Tomoff and Doug Cantlay**

**November 11, 2023 | Worthy Rally in NYC | Andrea Sanchez, Bill Tomoff, and Kate Nasser**

July 23, 2024

Choose Possibility: How Small Shifts in Thinking Can Create Big Changes

Over the past five years, my daily reading of the Stoicism philosophy has often reflected the importance of managing our minds. How we think, interpret, and respond to external events.

Am I prioritizing my efforts to use the gift of my mind and the opportunity for rational thought? I contemplate this question daily as I strive to bring my best talents and abilities to the world.

In this post, I focus on shifting our mindset to one of possibility. Here are a few resources to inspire you to approach your life through a lens of possibility:

In his blog post, A Commitment to Possibility, Seth Godin notes:

“So many people to connect with, so many things to learn. Doors to open, helping hands to be offered.

The magic of our time is that forward motion multiplies and ideas can be shared like never before.”

The second resource comes from the twinz book recommendations – The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life by Rosamund and Benjamin Zander. Read and share this book. Inspiration guaranteed!

**Bill Tomoff with book The Art of Possibility**

In this three-minute video, Ben shares examples of the power of possibility.

“You can choose one of two ways of being every single moment of your life. You can either be in what we call “the down spiral” or radiating possibility.”

“Radiating possibility is a discipline. It’s a rigorous discipline. That is why you have to practice, and practice, and practice, and practice. [Have people in your life who are open to possibility]”

James Clear, author of the book Atomic Habits, wrote this review of The Art of Possibility. Highlights I especially enjoyed:

Everything in life is based on your reference frame. Look at things in a new way and suddenly your problems fade away.
Instead of focusing on how you measure up, focus on how you contribute to the world around you. Contribution is not measured based on other people. It’s only measured based on what you put into the world around you. That’s it. If you add something, you contributed.
The conductor can lead the most powerful orchestra in the world, but does not make a sound. His or her only power is in getting the players to produce the beautiful sound they are capable of.
Rule #6: Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. [Bill and Don #TwinzTalk LOVE this rule!]
The more attention you shine on a subject, the more evidence of it you find. This is how downward spiral talk escalates into a reality.

As we navigate life’s challenges and opportunities, adopting a mindset of possibility can profoundly impact our experiences and outcomes. By embracing and practicing possibility, we open ourselves to a world of potential. Possibility is a practice, a discipline that requires consistent effort and mindfulness. By cultivating this mindset, we can enrich our lives and contribute to a more optimistic world. The choice is yours every second of every day: will you spiral downward or radiate possibility? Choose possibility!

July 6, 2024

Beyond the Resume: Embracing the Whole Person in a Work-Life Integrated World

“Everyone has a story.”

There are differing thoughts on how much our personal and professional lives should be balanced. I have evolved through my career to firmly believe in “Work/life integration” vs. “Work/life balance.” The conversation and prevalence of integrating our work and personal lives have been more acutely discussed since the escalation of remote work resulting from the COVID-19 pandemic starting in 2020. In my life, work/life integration was the key to my survival. My son Ryan’s diagnosis of childhood cancer in 1996 demanded a personal commitment and an understanding from my employers and colleagues that is unthinkable in most professional environments. Yet, I was profoundly blessed to have the necessary professional support to survive personally and professionally.

A byproduct of the support I received was that In my leadership roles, I have always sought to understand that we all have stories and challenges in our lives that no one knows about. Caring about others and the macro-level demands they are facing in their lives is an intelligent business strategy, but more importantly, it is the right thing to do. We all are in this life together. In my in-person and social media interactions, I strive to understand the “complete person” regarding their interests, personality, and demands outside their professional roles. A resulting benefit is the building of more productive and genuine relationships. This is the world I want to live in.

As you will note in my blog posts, I fully embrace and share my life experiences. These experiences have shaped me into the person I am today, and they enhance my personal and professional lives.

Through my blog at BillTomoff (dot) com, I have written 71 blog posts from 2017 through July 1, 2024. I share personal and professional thoughts and am interested in helping others. The posts have been compiled in a PDF document, and then I collaborated with Claude AI to summarize “my story” based on my blog content. Anyone desiring to learn more about me could gain insight into my interests, expertise, and personal beliefs (i.e., let’s be kind to each other), and my style may resonate with others. These are the people I want in my tribe to engage and collaborate with!

**#TwinzTalk Encouragement – Always be learning and do your best!**

Below are my prompt and Claude AI’s [edited] response. Claude did an incredible job providing me with content to start working with. The summary shared is the essence of my life and beliefs, which I am dedicated to living and practicing for the rest of my life.

Prompt:

“Please read and review the attached PDF of blog posts. You are an expert ghostwriter, and I would like you to tell me what is important to the author based on his writing content. Take a deep breath and take your time responding.”

Response:

“Based on a thorough review of the blog posts, here are some key themes and values that appear to be important to the author, Bill Tomoff:

Personal Growth and Continuous Learning: The author emphasizes personal development, lifelong learning, and consistent dedication to improving oneself. He regularly encourages reading, attending courses, and seeking new knowledge.
Family: Family is a central priority for the author. Many posts reference his wife Terri, son Ryan, daughter Olivia, and twin brother Don. His family’s journey through his son’s cancer diagnosis and five-time cancer battles and treatment has profoundly shaped his worldview.
Resilience and Post-Traumatic Growth: The author often discusses the concept of growing stronger through adversity, particularly with his son’s cancer experience. He believes in the possibility of emerging from difficult experiences as an improved, kinder, and more compassionate person.
Kindness and Compassion: Treating others with gentleness and kindness is a recurring theme. The author frequently encourages readers to be tolerant, patient, and understanding of others, as everyone is fighting their own battles.
Gratitude: The author emphasizes the importance of a grateful outlook on life, even during challenging times.
Time Management and Prioritization: Many posts discuss the importance of using time wisely, focusing on what truly matters, and learning to say no to less important commitments.
Stoicism: The author frequently references Stoic philosophy and its principles, which he strives to apply to challenges in his daily life.
Helping Others: There’s a strong emphasis on using one’s skills and experiences to benefit others, whether through professional work, volunteering, or everyday interactions. “We rise by lifting others.”
Technology and Innovation: The author and his twin are passionate about leveraging technology to enhance personal and professional effectiveness and create a greater possibility of making a more significant contribution to the world.
Health and Self-Care: Physical health and mental well-being are recurring themes, with the author emphasizing the importance of self-care practices.
Professional Excellence: The author does not prioritize career over family but values doing one’s best work and continually improving professional skills.
Community and Connection: The author values and encourages participation in supportive online and in-person communities (social media and communities of practice).
Writing and Reflection: Writing itself is an important practice for the author, serving as a tool for processing experiences and sharing insights.

These themes interweave throughout the blog posts, painting a picture of an individual deeply committed to personal growth, family, kindness, and positively impacting the world around him.”

Through sharing my story in my blog posts, I’ve realized that our personal and professional lives are intricately intertwined. All of our experiences can bring more value to our lives and others. The experiences that have shaped me have profoundly influenced my approach to work and life. Being open about these experiences will inspire a world where we see each other as individuals with meaningful lives beyond our professional roles. We can create more genuine connections by embracing kindness, continuous learning, and a willingness to help others. As we move forward, let’s remember that everyone has a story – and by taking the time to understand these stories, we can build a more compassionate and integrated world, both in and out of the workplace.

What is your story?

**2024-03-13 – Bill Tomoff with Four Memoirs Written**

**April 15, 2023 Family in London Attending Tottenham Spurs EPL Game**

June 23, 2024June 23, 2024

The Diagnosis That Taught Our Family Everything: Childhood Cancer’s Lessons for Life and Love

“Your child has cancer.” My wife, Terri, and I heard these words on October 17, 1996. Our son, Ryan, at two years and two months old, was diagnosed with childhood cancer (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia). In an instant, our lives, and the lives of Ryan and our four-year-old daughter Olivia, were changed forever.

As I write this in June 2024, 27+ years later, Ryan is [closely monitored and] doing well today. He is a five-time cancer survivor – 3x childhood leukemia and 2x adult tongue cancer (secondary malignancies resulting from the extensive treatments he received through his wars with leukemia). In March 2021, Terri published her memoir The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey from Mayhem to Miracles, detailing Ryan and our family’s journey through what often felt like impossible times.

Our heart breaks every time we hear of a family receiving the news that their child has cancer. A child and family stricken with cancer through no fault of their own. I pray no one reading this is facing a childhood cancer situation, yet we know bad things happen, and our lifelong mission is to be a gentle shoulder of support for others impacted as we have been. Maybe this helps one person, one family, piece together the swirling insanity that is happening in the center of their lives.

With this introduction, I will offer my list of “Life lessons learned from dealing with a childhood cancer diagnosis:“

**October 1996 – Ryan and Bill Tomoff – Georgetown Hospital**

Life is not fair.

If we are blessed to live long enough, realizing the randomness and unfairness of life events will strike us. There is tragedy and heartbreak happening all around us.

“Life breaks all of us, but some of us get stronger in the broken places.”—Ernest Hemingway.

Work is important. Family is EVERYTHING. Carpe Diem.

Treasure each day. Life contentment is in the small, everyday, ordinary moments. Recognize and embrace the “ordinary.”
Small things are not small things.

Keep your eye on the ball. Thank you, Abe Pollin.

Be determined and unapologetic in identifying and setting boundaries around your priorities. Learning to kindly yet firmly say “no” is imperative.

People need people.

You are not alone.
Thinking “I/we can handle this” is dangerous and not helpful. Seek, be open to, and be willing to ask for help. People want to help – accept their generosity and commit to “paying it forward” into the world one day.
The Postcard Project was a wonderful initiative that gave Ryan hope and inspiration as he endured treatments to get him to his life-saving bone marrow transplant on November 4, 2004.
Embrace communities of support. Special Love is our community of support that brings joy through their summer camps dedicated to children fighting cancer and their siblings.

Erica Neubert Campbell shared a quote included in The Focused Fight:

“In a tough situation, few people wake up every morning and say, “I’m going to be resilient today.” Most people under extreme stress wake up with heavy hearts but with a quiet voice that tells them never to give up. Resilience is listening to that small inner voice and finding people and organizations to help you slowly turn up the volume.”

**September 1997 – Tomoff Family – Special Love Under 7 Weekend**

Your environment matters.

Surround yourself with the best. Lift others up, and they will lift you up.

Self-care is imperative.

Self-care is not selfish. We cannot pour from an empty cup.

Kindness matters. Prioritize kindness to yourself and others.

Sometimes we cannot see a path forward, and are hanging on doing our best. Everyone, in some way, has these moments. “The next step,” a moment of kindness given or received, may propel you or someone else forward for the day.
Express appreciation and gratitude. Never default to “this person is just doing their job.” Everyone deserves to be seen.

“Don’t underestimate the power of a chocolate chip cookie.”—Terri Tomoff.

**April 2022 – Terri Tomoff and Chocolate Chip Cookies**

Don’t ask. Do.

Choose to take the initiative.
There are many moments in life where we can help meaningfully. In small ways and without permission, a difference can be made.

Everyone has unique gifts. Identify and nurture those gifts.

Ryan’s relentless fight and inspiration to the world.
Olivia and the gift of soccer to our family.

Trust and know that everyone has a story.

“Be gentle. Be kind – you have no idea what someone is going through.”—Bill Tomoff.

Post Traumatic Growth is possible.

We all endure suffering in our lives. David Brooks, in his book The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life, provides a compelling perspective on the meaning of suffering:

“Whether the valley is a personal one or a societal one or both, there’s a lot of suffering. You’re enduring a season of pain, a season of feeling lost. This can be a period of soul-crushing anguish, but it can also be one of the most precious seasons of your life.

John Keats said that we live in a mansion of many apartments. When we’re on the first mountain, we’re living in what Keats called the “thoughtless chamber.” This is the default chamber; we just unthinkingly absorb the values and ways of life that happen to be around us.

We want to stay in this chamber. It’s comfortable, and everybody nods at you with approval. In The Age of Anxiety, W. H. Auden wrote,

We would rather be ruined than changed

We would rather die in our dread

Than climb the cross of the moment

And let our illusions die.

Seasons of suffering kick us in the ass. They are the foghorns that blast us out of our complacency and warn us we are heading for the wrong life.

There’s nothing intrinsically noble about suffering. Sometimes grief is just grief, to be gotten through. Many bad things happen in life, and it’s a mistake to try to sentimentalize these moments away by saying that they must be happening to serve some higher good. But sometimes, when suffering can be connected to a larger narrative of change and redemption, we can suffer our way to wisdom. This is the kind of wisdom you can’t learn from books; you have to experience it yourself. Sometimes you experience your first taste of nobility in the way you respond to suffering.

The theologian Paul Tillich wrote that suffering upsets the normal patterns of life and reminds you that you are not who you thought you were. It smashes through the floor of what you thought was the basement of your soul and reveals a cavity below, and then it smashes through that floor and reveals a cavity below that.

Suffering teaches us gratitude. Normally we take love and friendship for granted. But in seasons of suffering we throw ourselves on others and appreciate the gifts that our loved ones offer. Suffering puts you in solidarity with others who suffer. It makes you more sympathetic to those who share this or some other sort of pain. In this way it tenderizes the heart.

Suffering calls for a response. None of us can avoid suffering, but we can all choose how we respond to it. And, interestingly, few people respond to suffering by seeking pleasure. Nobody says, I lost my child, therefore I should go out and party. They say, I lost my child, and therefore I am equipped to help others who have lost their child. People realize that shallow food won’t satisfy the deep hunger and fill the deep emptiness that suffering reveals. Only spiritual food will do that. Many people respond to pain by practicing generosity.

Finally, suffering shatters the illusion of self-sufficiency, which is an illusion that has to be shattered if any interdependent life is going to begin. Seasons of pain expose the falseness and vanity of most of our ambitions and illuminate the larger reality of living and dying, caring and being cared for. Pain helps us see the true size of our egotistical desires. Before they seemed gigantic and dominated the whole screen. After seasons of suffering, we see that the desires of the ego are very small desires, and certainly not the ones we should organize our lives around. Climbing out of the valley is not like recovering from a disease. Many people don’t come out healed; they come out different. The poet Ted Hughes observed that the things that are the worst to undergo are often the best to remember, because at those low moments the protective shells are taken off, humility is achieved, a problem is clearly presented, and a call to service is clearly received.”

I hope that my perspective provides you an inspiration to move through whatever challenge you are dealing with or enduring. Take this journey of life one day at a time. Do your best. Be kind to yourself and others. Embrace and treasure the ordinary. Believe in better days. We got this.

**2004 – Bill and Ryan Tomoff – Bald heads before Duke PBMT trip**

**June 2024 – Kelleys Island 5K – Ryan walks with Aunt Stephanie**

June 21, 2024

Time Wealth: Prioritizing Mental Bandwidth in the Knowledge Economy

Throughout my career and then in life challenges (son Ryan battles with childhood cancer and beyond), I learned to deeply understand my time and how I prioritized everything in my life as the most important variables within my control. Time is a nonrenewable asset, and I quickly understood that I had to own my decisions of where I choose to prioritize my energy.

Thanks to years-long encouragement from my wife, Terri, I made a [wise] decision to read more actively to help my learning and growth. Since 2012, reading for personal development has become a non-negotiable priority. The mission is to allocate my efforts to make a more meaningful contribution to the world daily. This starts with owning my decisions of where I focus my mental bandwidth.

Where I focus, these three words are front and center for me. Since I started reading the philosophy of Stoicism in 2019, and have read daily since January 1, 2020. As I noted in a March 2023 blog post, “In Pursuit of Inner Peace: My Stoic Transformation:”

“The Stoicism philosophy profoundly influences my perspective and “how” I handle myself and my emotions daily. Striving every day to develop my mind and embrace the only aspect of life we all control – our reasoned choice. Thoughts such as “it is not necessary to have an opinion, we should be strict with ourselves and forgiving of others (no judgment), and we control our response to any external event – we are harmed only if we believe we are harmed,” are thoughts I hold close to my heart and work to live in practice.”

Embracing my reasoned choice. My remaining life’s work will be to strive to use my mind for good – developing myself and helping others by utilizing my skills and talents. I can and must do better. The work must not stop.

A blog post by Morgan Housel, “Lazy Work, Good Work,” inspired my post here. When we can keep our mind disciplined to focus on learning and good, we can prioritize time for reflection and creativity. Here is a sample of topics on my “do not do” list – activities I strive to eliminate or actively reduce by being aware of my behavior:

Gossip.
Expressing an unsolicited opinion.
Judgment.
Watching or engaging in conversation about mainstream news.
Involving myself in other people’s business.

The work regarding my do-not-do list is a never-ending process. I credit my reading of the Stoicism philosophy for helping me.

By reducing the above activities, I will replace my time (and mind) with:

Quality time with my family, friends, and communities of practice who inspire and lift me up.
Kindness to others and my world.
Encouraging others.
Helping others through micro-moves taking almost no effort. Social media engagement is an easy micro-move example.
Investing in improving myself (as the Optimist Creed states: “To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.”).
Be more patient and calm. We all are doing our best to get through each day.

A key component of “investing in improving myself” is prioritizing building buffer/slack into my days and intentionally moving more slowly and thoughtfully through each day. Make space for time for reading and contemplation. Morgan Housel notes in his article [Bold emphasis is mine]:

“Here’s a problem we don’t think about enough: Even as more professions look like Rockefeller’s – thought jobs that require quiet time to think a problem through – we’re stuck in the old world where a good employee is expected to labor, visibly and without interruption.

The point is that productive work today does not look like productive work did for most of history. If your job was to pull a lever, you were only productive if you were pulling the lever. But if your job is to create a marketing campaign, you might be productive sitting quietly with your eyes closed, thinking about design. The problem is that too many workplaces expect their knowledge workers to pull the proverbial lever – today in Microsoft Office form – 40+ hours a week when they’d be better off doing things that look lazy but are actually productive. The result is that most people have thought jobs without being given much time to think, which is the equivalent of making a ditch-digger work without a shovel. Maybe this is why productivity growth is half of what it used to be.

If you anchor to the old world where good work meant physical action, it’s hard to wrap your head around the idea that the most productive use of a knowledge-worker’s time could be sitting on a couch thinking. But it’s so clear that it is. Good ideas rarely come in meetings, or even at your desk. They come to you in the shower. On a walk. On your commute, or hanging out on the weekend. I’m always amazed at the number of famous ideas that came to people in the bathtub. But tell your boss you require a mid-day soak, and the response is entirely predictable.”

Starting with yourself, embrace a gentler and kinder presence with the world. Slowing down and being more mindful as you move through your day will be rewarding and gratifying. While you may appear “lazy” and unproductive, the reality will be enhanced productivity through leveraging greater creativity and adaptability.

**2019 – Bill T and Bill G encouraging “Good!”**

**France! Learning in Community with Karena de Souza**

June 14, 2024

Unlocking the Secret to Contentment: The Foundational Role of Gratitude

Summary – Collaboration with ChatGPT

While reflecting and working on this post, I decided to collaborate with ChatGPT and ask for input on my assessment of the extreme potential that gratitude can bring to our lives. My prompt and [edited] response received were as follows:

Prompt:

I am writing a blog post about gratitude. The opening sentence is, “A lens of gratitude changes everything.”

I believe having a gratitude mindset is the foundational base for living a life of contentment and happiness. If we are grateful, we live life with a “gentler” outlook on life, and thus, we lean toward kindness to ourselves and interactions with others. This creates a rippling cycle of positivity that can change our life experience.

You are an expert psychologist. Would you agree with my assessment?

Response:

Bill T note: ChatGPT agreed with my assessment, and I asked for further insight and suggestions. The edited result is below.

A lens of gratitude changes everything.

The Science of Gratitude

Research in positive psychology has consistently shown that practicing gratitude can significantly enhance well-being and satisfaction with life. Grateful individuals often experience positive emotions, relish good experiences, and enjoy better health and relationships. Gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have, fostering a sense of abundance and reducing stress and anxiety.

A Gentler Outlook

Gratitude encourages a gentler outlook by promoting self-compassion and acceptance. When we acknowledge and appreciate the good in our lives, we become more forgiving and understanding of our own imperfections and those of others. This gentleness nurtures our mental health and creates a foundation for lasting happiness.

Kindness and Positivity

Gratitude also inspires kindness. When we feel grateful, we are more likely to engage in prosocial behaviors, such as helping others and expressing appreciation. These acts of kindness benefit those around us and enhance our sense of joy and fulfillment. This creates a positive feedback loop: gratitude leads to kindness and reinforces gratitude, amplifying the benefits for everyone involved.

The Ripple Effect

The impact of gratitude extends beyond individual experiences. Positive emotions and behaviors can spread through our social networks, influencing friends, family, and strangers. This ripple effect creates an environment of collective well-being where gratitude can inspire widespread positivity and connection.

Practical Ways to Cultivate Gratitude

Daily Reflection: Take a few moments each day to reflect on what you are grateful for. This can be done through journaling or simply pausing to appreciate the good things in your life.
Express Appreciation: Make it a habit to express gratitude to others. A simple thank you, or a heartfelt note can go a long way in strengthening relationships and spreading positivity.
Mindfulness Practice: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. Mindfulness helps us stay present and aware, making it easier to notice and appreciate the small joys in life.
Gratitude Rituals: Establish rituals that remind you to practice gratitude. This could be a gratitude jar where you write down things you’re thankful for or a gratitude walk where you focus on the beauty around you.

Encouragement

Embracing gratitude is a powerful choice that can transform your life. By fostering a mindset of appreciation, you cultivate a deeper sense of contentment and happiness. Remember, the journey of gratitude is ongoing, and every small step you take contributes to a more positive and fulfilling life. Start today, and watch as gratitude changes everything.

Full Original Writing

A lens of gratitude changes everything.

An aspect of my daily journaling includes prioritizing five minutes to reflect on my day and handwrite on an index card [at least] one comment in each of these areas:

Win
Gratitude
Stress/Tension
Help Others/Shine the Light
Activity/Development

The process has helped me be more intentional and aware of how I conduct myself throughout the day. Here, I will reference five articles that have inspired me to encourage more gratitude.

In each article, thoughts resonated that remind me to strive to be gentler with myself and others and grateful for the gifts in my life. Throughout our days, we have many opportunities to “flip the perspective” and be grateful vs. frustrated or inconvenienced. Here are a few examples that we all can relate to:

Moving along slowly in traffic other drivers take shortcuts and merge into the line you are waiting in. Remind yourself, “I am safely moving toward my destination and am helping others by allowing cars to merge into the line. I am grateful for a dependable car and the opportunity to help others, and I am confident others would give me the same kindness.“
Waiting in a long line at the grocery store. Reflect, “I am grateful that my family has the resources to purchase the food we need and the systems in place that make it possible for us to have the incredible convenience of a grocery store where we have access to an abundance of food choices when many people in the world do not have this blessing.“
Embrace the opportunity to contribute through simple micro-move actions such as picking up trash or safely returning a stray shopping cart to a corral. Consider, “I can help ease a path for others.
When we think outside our individual needs and turn our focus toward others, gratitude for our ability to help is enhanced. When we help, the lens through which we view life evolves us into a gentler and kinder presence. We are simply more pleasant to be around.

I encourage you to read the full articles linked here and watch the YouTube video by Rajesh Setty. Below are a few excerpts that will inspire you to read further.

Bruce Kasanoff, in “Help This Person,” encourages us every time we encounter another person to think: help this person. Bruce notes:

“Nothing else can so quickly supercharge your career and improve the quality of your life. And, yes, being genuinely helpful is the most substantive “self-promotion” possible.”

“By first thinking help this person, you will change the ways that others perceive you. There is no faster or more effective way to change your interactions and relationships. You will be viewed as a positive, constructive, helpful, and dependable person. People will think you are more perceptive, attentive, and understanding.”

Be considerate and appreciative of everyone you encounter. When we lift the spirits of others, a potential ripple effect can occur, and we feel good as well!

The following post by Dave Kerpen inspired this reflection about gratitude. Linda Misencik, a longtime friend (married to “the best dentist in the country” until he retired in 2018), read this post and sent it to me. Speaking of gratitude, I am thrilled Linda thought to send the article to me!

In Dave’s post, “Gratitude is the Opposite of Entitlement,” he notes:

“When we are entitled, we think the world needs to go our way ‘just because’. When we are grateful, on the other hand, we appreciate the world around us no matter what, ‘just because’. I am grateful for so many things every day.”

This observation is incredible. When we believe events must go the way we want, that is an attitude of entitlement. Rather, understand that we don’t control external events. We control the reasoned choice of our mind (a critical aspect of Stoicism) and our response. When we embrace this understanding and are grateful for what we have, we move away from the perspective of entitlement.

The third and fourth posts to share are from Ryan Holiday‘s The Daily Stoic. I am a fan of Stoicism and look forward to the daily email (Monday through Friday) distribution. The two recent posts I encourage you to read:

“It Says Everything About You.” A few highlights that resonated:

“How we treat the little guy says a lot about us. How we treat the gate agent at the airline. How we treat the customer service representative. How we treat the waiter and the barista. This says a lot about us. Even when, perhaps especially when, they aren’t treating us well. Can we control our emotions? Can we contain our frustration? Can we remember that they are almost certainly having a hard time too? That no amount of yelling at someone making an hourly wage will make a plane appear or fix a stupid corporate policy?

We all have bad days…which means other people have bad days, too. We should strive to be patient. We should strive to understand.”

“We All Carry A Debt.“

“There is also a debt that we have to pay back. Our ancestors are not all Union men. We live on stolen land. Our museums are filled with looted goods. Our progress came at great expense to the environment and to other species. Who made that device you’re holding? Who made that T-shirt you’re wearing?”

“Our ancestors were wonderful and they were terrible. We, their descendants all over the world, are indebted to them for both. We have to pay forward the good they did. We have to make right the wrongs they did. We don’t control what they did—to borrow from the dichotomy of control at the center of Stoicism—but we control what we do now, here in our own times. Doing better is up to us. This is what the virtue of justice demands. It’s what decency and duty demands of us.”

Two additional posts to share are a blog from Seth Godin and a YouTube video from Rajesh Setty:

“What Does The World Owe Us?” Seth notes this question comes from a perspective of entitlement. He encourages us to turn this question around and ask ourselves, “What do I owe the world?“

“On the other hand, “what do I owe the world?” opens the door for endless opportunity. When lots of people ask this question, the contributions add up, the connections are solidified and better is possible.

The best part is that waiting for the world to get things just right is exhausting and frustrating, while taking responsibility for what we might be able to contribute or lead can be energizing and fun.”

Finally, I highly recommend watching this YouTube video from Rajesh Setty, Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time.

A regular practice of gratitude will change your perspective on life. We can all participate in making our world a better place. Micro-moves of intentionally contributing to others and our world at large can make a difference in ways unimagined. Just believe. One person, one action at a time, matters.