Since the introduction of ChatGPT in December 2022, #TwinzTalk Don Tomoff and I have prioritized learning and working with OpenAI’s ChatGPT and other LLMs, such as Anthropic’s Claude AI.
In the work that Don and I do, we continually challenge ourselves to “narrow the path” and present actionable information that encourages others to invest in their learning and identify ways to leverage technology to benefit their lives personally and professionally. In this regard, Generative AI and specifically the ChatGPT Plus LLM have become the most urgent focus for everyone. The advancements in these technologies are going to continue and accelerate. This document is focused on an introduction to getting started with ChatGPT adoption. We are referring to this as “ChatGPT Lite.”
Topics to be covered include:
Description of Generative AI (GenAI) and how ChatGPT fits into the framework of GenAI.
Steps to getting started with ChatGPT.
High-level concepts to understand.
Resources for learning – influencers and online learning courses.
Sample of use cases to inspire your creativity for personal use.
Before diving into the topics, in our interest of narrowing the path, we consider the following steps essential:
Enroll in ChatGPT Plus. This cost is currently $20 per month, and we emphasize that this must be considered a non-negotiable personal investment for every individual.
Commit to being curious and learning daily. Drip, drip, drip, the learning compounds by dedicating and investing personal time.
Understand that adoption of ChatGPT Plus is an individual decision and NOT subject to the approval of an employer. The opportunities to expose yourself and learn with this technology can be done personally without crossing the boundaries of professional roles possibly involving an employer’s intellectual property.
With this overview introduction completed, please follow along as we delve into the specific topics detailed above!
Parts 2 through 6 of this ChatGPT Lite series of blog posts can be accessed through the links below:
A theme that has been a central aspect and one I have held close throughout my life is my goal to always answer this question with “Yes, I did my best.” In my teen years, my efforts focused on distance running. However, I became much more intentional with my self-encouragement and introspection in 1977 when I started attending Ohio University and took on the challenge of obtaining a business degree in accounting.
On October 17, 1996, my and my family’s life was forever changed by the challenge of my son Ryan’s childhood cancer diagnosis. Every day, my wife Terri, me, then four-year-old daughter Olivia, and two-year-old Ryan started surviving by bringing “our best” to the day and the often unimaginable stresses that were now a part of our everyday lives. An acute sense of gratitude for life and the joys of ordinary moments quickly took hold in our perspectives. I wish our gift of perspective were one that everyone could genuinely appreciate. Yet, I wish for others to reach this perspective without traveling the road Ryan and our family have traveled for the past 27+ years.
Post-Traumatic Growth
In chapter 33 of Terri’s memoir The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, she discusses her discovery of Post-Traumatic Growth while we were traveling in 2015. Thanks to Oprah Magazine and journalist Ginny Graves, Terri’s discovery of this topic crystallized many emotions we felt through Ryan’s challenges. Without realizing the impact (our focus was saving Ryan’s life and providing as much normalcy as possible for Olivia), our lives profoundly changed by embracing our mission to help others affected by childhood cancer and to pay forward the care and kindness that has been showered upon us since that life-changing day in 1996. In introducing the section in her book, Terri shared this quote that has rung true for us:
“Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor.”
—Marianne Williamson
Collaborating with ChatGPT, I summarized the chapter with a 500-word recap and then generated an insightful bullet-point highlight list of ways post-traumatic growth has enhanced our lives. I shared these two results below. A BONUS – the full text of chapter 33 from Terri’s memoir is provided here.
Chapter 33 Summary | Collaboration with ChatGPT
Chapter 33 of Terri Tomoff’s book “The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles” is titled “Post-Traumatic Growth.” The chapter opens with a note from Tomoff’s son, Ryan, reflecting on his experiences with PTSD following his battle with cancer. This note provides insight into the challenges he faced, such as constant fear of cancer recurrence, the constant medical environment, and coping mechanisms like video games.
Tomoff connects Ryan’s struggles with the concept of post-traumatic growth (PTG), an idea suggesting that individuals can experience positive transformation following trauma. This concept is hard for some to comprehend, and not everyone can rally around it, but it represents an alternative to the narrative of unending suffering.
Tomoff then recounts her family’s various contributions to their community following Ryan’s diagnosis, including running marathons to raise money, starting a Postcard Project, and taking meals to the hospital floor where Ryan was treated. She shares that these activities, aimed at helping others, could be considered PTG as they transformed their family’s trauma into a positive force that benefited their community.
The term PTG was coined by Richard Tedeschi, a psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, who asserted that trauma survivors could undergo profound changes that extend beyond mere resilience. Jack Tsai from Yale School of Medicine adds that the healthcare system emphasizes identifying dysfunctions rather than superior functioning. This trend is now shifting towards promoting overall well-being.
Tomoff elaborates on her family’s extensive volunteer work, including lobbying for childhood cancer funding, founding advisory boards, and volunteering at various organizations and events. These activities provided a sense of purpose, helped others facing similar challenges, and, in return, aided their healing process.
Tomoff explains that despite the pain associated with a childhood cancer diagnosis, the shared experience has created a strong sense of community and camaraderie. This has led to emotional sharing sessions that have deeply moved the families involved and the staff at the facilities they work with.
Finally, the chapter highlights the Southern Comforters Quilt Guild of Bowie, Maryland, which Tomoff is a part of. The group has made over 2000 quilts for newly diagnosed children at Georgetown University Hospital and has extended its mission internationally. Tomoff and her family’s endeavors reflect the essence of PTG, transforming a traumatic experience into meaningful contributions to society, leading to their emotional growth.
Post-Traumatic Growth: Our Enhanced Family Approach to Life | Collaboration with ChatGPT
From Chapter 33 of Terri Tomoff’s memoir, it’s clear that the family’s experience with their son Ryan’s cancer diagnosis and subsequent trauma transformed their approach to life, fostering a deep commitment to aiding others and giving back to society. This transformation reflects their experience with post-traumatic growth (PTG). Here are some key ways in which PTG enhanced their life:
Embracing Purpose Through Helping Others: They found purpose and solace in assisting others undergoing similar trials. This included running marathons to raise funds, launching “The Postcard Project”, delivering meals to the hospital, and volunteering at multiple organizations. They found a form of healing by turning their trauma into meaningful activities.
Creating Advocacy Initiatives: Their personal experience led them to advocate for more funding for childhood cancer research. Tomoff mentions lobbying on Capitol Hill with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society as a part of this initiative.
Building Community: They co-founded the Parent Advisory Board and involved themselves in other groups supporting families dealing with cancer. This fostered a strong sense of community, which provided emotional support and a platform for shared experiences.
Promoting Well-Being and Positive Transformation: Their work with others emphasized the promotion of well-being, aligning with the concept of PTG. They believed that surviving adversity could be used as a catalyst for profound personal change and betterment.
Empathy and Understanding: Their own experience with trauma allowed them to deeply empathize with other families going through similar experiences, making them effective in their efforts to help others.
Legacy and Long-Term Commitment: The family has pledged a lifelong commitment to giving back to society, acknowledging that they “will never live long enough to give back to the universe.” This dedication is evident in their ongoing efforts, such as Terri Tomoff’s work with the Southern Comforters Quilt Guild, which has created over 2,000 quilts for children newly diagnosed with cancer.
Family Involvement: The family turned their struggle into a collective mission, involving every family member in various ways. This not only helped in dealing with their trauma but also fostered a sense of unity and shared purpose within the family.
In summary, the concept of post-traumatic growth profoundly affected the Tomoff family, driving their extensive efforts to help others, advocate for change, and create a legacy of kindness and resilience in the face of adversity. This has fundamentally transformed their approach to life, making them deeply committed to serving their community.
Thanks to the interpretation and insights offered by ChatGPT, the results beautifully articulate the essence of Terri’s heartfelt writing about post-traumatic growth and the impact our family has felt throughout the years of Ryan’s treatments. We can all show up and do our best one day at a time. Doing your best is what YOU must hold yourself accountable for – this is a personal matter and not subject to the judgment of others. Do your best, keep moving, and hold your head high.
November 4, 2004 – PBMT Donor Meetup – Olivia, Bill, Terri, and Ryan Tomoff
October 1996 – Ryan and Bill Tomoff at Georgetown Hospital
October 1996 – Ryan and Bill Tomoff at Georgetown Hospital – Dad heading home
On October 10, 2023, inspired by Sahil Bloom’s post, I began a five-minute daily reflection ritual, focusing on five aspects: Win, Gratitude, Stress or Tension, Helping Others/Shining the Light, and Activity/Personal Development. After 100 days, the practice remains a source of intentionality and personal alignment, offering clarity and a momentary escape from the digital frenzy.
Daily, I handwrite my reflections on an index card, cherishing the tactile process as a form of self-care. This habit, reminiscent of my morning meditations and inspired by the Stoicism encouragement to “put each day up for review,” encourages introspection and gratitude. Seneca’s wisdom on self-evaluation resonates deeply, prompting me to scrutinize my actions and thoughts, contributing to my ongoing quest for self-improvement.
Through this simple yet profound practice, I’ve realized the transformative power of pausing and pondering daily life. It’s a reminder of what truly matters, enabling me to confront life’s challenges with a grounded and grateful heart. I advocate this practice for anyone seeking fulfillment, urging them to start small and witness the profound impact of daily reflection.
Original Reflection
October 10, 2023. After reading a post by Sahil Bloom on social media, I began a daily reflection process of prioritizing five minutes to reflect on five aspects of my day. Sahil’s post highlighted three items, and I subsequently added two additional prompts to reflect upon.
Sahil’s original three were:
Win
Gratitude
Stress or Tension
My additions:
Help Others/Shine the Light
Activity/Personal Development
My goal with this exercise is to intentionally reflect and appreciate/inspire my daily approach to life. On January 17, 2024, I completed 100 consecutive days of reflection. I am unsure how long I will continue this process, but I feel the daily reflection brings me value by helping me be intentional about my perspective and how I want to bring myself to the world daily.
The daily reflections are handwritten on an index card. I deliberately chose to do this exercise manually vs. electronically. Sitting with my thoughts and handwriting my observations are my way of slowing down and creating a pause in my life – away from the distractions of the non-stop digital worlds we live in. The gift of the process is the daily reminder of the areas I want to prioritize and be certain to “sit with” for a few minutes to look at my day and ask, “How did I do today, and what highlights do I want to remember?” Writing my observations by hand creates a few moments of joy/contentment for me. The act itself is a gift I am giving to myself and is a small part of my self-care.
An aspect of my personal development that I wrote about in my blog post dated May 20, 2023, Dawn of Awareness: A Journey of Self-Discovery through Morning Meditations, is my love of morning quiet time, where I read several daily meditations that help me reflect and prepare for the upcoming day. The Daily Stoic Meditations is one of the books included in my process.
The Daily Stoic Meditation for January 22nd, The Day In Review, resonated with me. The encouragement is to prioritize time to evaluate our day and assess how we feel about our day’s performance. My approach with the index card is a mini-version of the daily stoic recommendation. While I reflect and write, my mind assesses the areas I have identified as a priority in my life. As noted in the Meditation:
“I will keep constant watch over myself and—most usefully—will put each day up for review. For this is what makes us evil—that none of us looks back upon our own lives. We reflect upon only that which we are about to do. And yet our plans for the future descend from the past.”
—Seneca, Moral Letters, 83.2
“Take time to consciously recall the events of the previous day. Be unflinching in your assessments. Notice what contributed to your happiness and what detracted from it. Write down what you’d like to work on or quotes that you like. By making the effort to record such thoughts, you’re less likely to forget them. An added bonus: you’ll have a running tally to track your progress too.”
Can a short process of assessing and journaling each day enhance your life? I encourage you to start small and try it! May you find contentment and fulfillment as you “put each day up for review.“
Since 2009, my twin, Don, and I have been captivated by the potential of social media, using it to foster our personal and professional growth and share insights through initiatives like #TwinzTalk and #TwinsTechTip. Our journey on these platforms laid the groundwork for a deeper exploration into specialized communities of practice (COPs), a transition inspired by Seth Godin’s 2020 blog on “A Community of Practice.”
My wife, Terri, and I embarked on a COP new venture, starting with a writing community group in 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic. These focused communities have been a wellspring of learning and growth and building new connections and knowledge beyond the broader platforms available through social media. Influential figures like Tanmay Vora, Rajesh Setty, and Harold Jarche have been instrumental in this journey, inspired by Tanmay’s work on leadership and learning, which deeply resonated with me.
This shift to more intimate COPs has been transformative, aligning with the principle “to whom much is given, much will be required” (Luke 12:48). It echoes the support and kindness my family experienced during my son Ryan’s cancer battles, a blessing I am committed to paying forward. The journey through COPs and virtual communities has been profound, reminding us of our responsibility to contribute and grow within these nurturing spaces and our broader network when possible. I embrace the requirement that my talents and gifts must be shared with my broader network – a network that is exponentially larger through the availability of social media and COPs.
“To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.”
–Steve Prefontaine
Original Reflection
I have separately written about my appreciation of participating in Communities of Practice (COP). I am developing a blog post that takes a deeper dive into how my wife, Terri, and I have been encouraged and inspired through our involvement in various communities that started in June 2020.
My contemplation about my involvement in COPs lifts me up. I am grateful to many wonderfully talented, generous, and kind participants who have helped me learn and grow. The community’s participants care about developing their craft and helping others on their path. The environment is enriching.
Before joining a specific COP (Writing in Community was my initial participation), I felt a “looser,” yet similar, connection through many social media relationships that have developed over the years. I revisited a blog post from Tanmay Vora titledLeading and Learning: How to Feed a Community. Now, after my experience with specific COPs over the past 3+ years, Tanmay’s post resonates more clearly with me.
Tanmay Vora Sketchnote –Lisa Haneberg “How to feed the community.”
“The idea of “to whom much is given, much will be required” is that we are held responsible for what we have. If we are blessed with talents, wealth, knowledge, time, and the like, it is expected that we use these well to glorify God and benefit others.” [BOLD emphasis is mine]
I credit my first awareness of the above thought to Mr. Abe Pollin, the owner of Washington Sports & Entertainment, the organization I worked with from 1996 to 2011. Beyond wealth, we must help others with the other blessings we may receive – such as talents and knowledge. An additional blessing that I am committed to paying forward for the rest of my life is the gift of kindness and support that family, friends, community, and strangers have brought to my family’s lives through my son Ryan’s 27+ five-time battles with cancer. I am forever indebted and grateful for all the gifts in my life, and I will use those gifts to help others.
My twin Don and I love social media – we appreciated the professional potential early on, starting in 2009. Sharing a strong interest in technology and personal development, our careers have emphasized building awareness, skills, and learning across many areas that we then shared in our professional circles and on social media. We strive to enlighten others with the gifts our vision and early adopter tendencies have brought to our lives. In 2018 and 2020, we initiated #TwinzTalk and #TwinsTechTip, respectively, for sharing tips on LinkedIn.
Tanmay’s blog post inspired me to highlight his and his work’s impact on my life. Since our 2016 connection via Twitter, his talent, generosity, and kindness for helping others around leadership and conveying his learning into beautiful digestible sketchnotes have helped sharpen/refine my interest in personal development and my potential for helping others through my experiences and life learnings. Helping others learn and grow their talents is my gift and the purpose of my work. In Tanmay’s blog post, he notes:
“Lisa Haneberg, one of my favorite bloggers, wrote about how to feed a community where she said,
If we want to belong to a vibrant community we have to feed it.”
“It became quite clear to me that learning is a social act and we learn the most when we learn together.
In the communities that we choose to belong to (online and offline), we have to do our part in feeding it. It is only when we are generous about sharing our gifts that we build credibility to receive anything meaningful in return…”
Tanmay also mentions Rajesh Setty and his course offering “The Right Hustle,” along with Harold Jarche and his work aboutPersonal Knowledge Mastery. I am connected to Rajesh and Harold and have learned much from them. My interest and action to follow are all thanks to Tanmay’s belief in their work. I am forever grateful and indebted. My responsibility is to pay forward their contributions by helping others in my network.
In May 2020, Seth Godin shared a blog, “A Community of Practice,” that led Terri and I to join a Community of Practice (a separate, more in-depth discussion of this to follow). In addition to the learning community that Don and I have developed via social media, Seth introduced the possibility of joining specific intimate communities that created the potential for greater connection among like-minded, kind, and generous people. Little did we know the magic that would unfold for us, beginning with our initial enrollment in a writing-in-community platform in June 2020! The pandemic and virtual communities of practice collided in 2020, and as Doctor Seuss would say:
“Oh, The Places You’ll Go! You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights!”
–Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
Who feeds your learning, and are you living up to your responsibility to do your part in feeding the community?
Terri and Bill Tomoff with book efforts in Writing In Community community of practice 2020-2021
Be Kind – some themes need to be front and center every day of every year.
Happy New Year to all. Wishing everyone a 2024 year filled with kindness and compassion for yourself, others, and our world! Together we can go far…
Andrea Sanchez, thank you for the inspiration and opportunity to share the message with “Be Kind” signs from the “Wisconsin Kindness Angel”.
The above comments were originally shared on LinkedIn with TwinzTalk tip 1179.
In connection with my “Word of the year” for 2024 – Value – I am contemplating the many ways we can bring value to ourselves and others.
I am finding contentment in the all-encompassing nature of the word. The principles I aspire to live by – such as kindness, appreciation, and helping others – contribute to forming my thoughts, decisions, and actions as I go through my day.
While I was out running errands today, it occurred to me that our presence around others (whether we are calm, smiling, or showing enthusiasm, if possible) is a subtle yet compelling way to bring value to our world.
The thought that struck me was, “Your presence matters. Our energy can inspire a ripple into the world.”
Unfortunately, human nature tends to bend towards negative sentiments and “what is wrong” with any situation. When we have a positive experience, it often goes unnoticed, or we move through the moment with no appreciation because the outcome is what we expected. Oh my, such a sad state to carry through our lives!
How about we recognize the problem by recognizing that highlighting negative experiences and complaining about life’s everyday challenges brings an awful vibe to our world?
Let’s intentionally “flip the script” and celebrate the everyday caring and kindness around us. This action will create an energy that has the potential to ripple beyond our imagination. And, by the way, it feels good to be this type of person.
In my daily writing, I recently collaborated with ChatGPT to expand on my belief the “kindness and generosity begets more kindness and generosity.” Along this theme, these quotes resonated:
“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”
– Princess Diana
“Remember there’s no such things as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”
– Scott Adams
Collaboration with ChatGPT
I asked ChatGPT a few questions about my belief that “kindness and generosity begets more kindness and generosity.” The response noted, “Reciprocal Altruism is a fancy way of saying, “If I help you today, maybe you’ll help me tomorrow.” But the most important part is that you help without expecting anything immediately, just because it’s kind and friendly.”
I added the following prompt:
“I understand your explanation of reciprocal altruism, but I struggle with your presentation – I believe in kindness and generosity with no expectation of a direct reciprocal action. Rather, I believe the “universe” will reward me over the long run. Thus, I believe the style will reward those who consistently practice goodness and kindness, but we cannot be directly looking for reward and affirmation.
Am I making any sense?”
ChatGPT responded with an answer that more aligned with my thinking:
“Yes, you are making perfect sense. Your perspective aligns with a more altruistic or selfless approach to kindness and generosity. In this view, acts of kindness are done without expecting direct reciprocation from the individuals you help. Instead, there’s a broader belief that these good deeds contribute to a positive shift in the universe or the overall fabric of society. This shift may bring about positive outcomes in the long run, potentially in indirect or unforeseen ways.
This approach is more philosophical and spiritual than the concept of reciprocal altruism as defined in social psychology. In comparison, reciprocal altruism focuses on a somewhat transactional understanding of kindness (I help you, expecting that you or someone else will help me in return); your belief system is centered around contributing to the greater good without immediate or direct expectation of return.
In many ways, this can be seen as a more pure form of altruism. It’s about contributing positively to the world and trusting that these actions create a kinder, more generous environment overall. This belief in the long-term, indirect rewards of goodness and kindness resonates with various philosophical and spiritual teachings across cultures. It’s a view that underscores the intrinsic value of good deeds and the belief in a kind of moral balance in the universe.”
Thank you, ChatGPT! The explanation provided beautifully articulates the sentiments I carry in my heart and hold onto to inspire me to strive to set an example of kindness and generosity.
As I reflect on the passing of Charlie Munger, I’m drawn to his humble suggestion for his epitaph, “I tried to be useful,” a sentiment that deeply resonates with my personal journey. His legacy, marked by wisdom and humility, inspires me to consider my life’s motto in ten words or less, “I did my best. I cared.” This phrase encapsulates my commitment to living with effort, compassion, and personal accountability, emphasizing that my actions are guided by intrinsic motivation rather than the pursuit of external validation. My recent four years of daily engagement with stoic meditations have profoundly influenced my perspective, teaching me the liberating truth that one’s value isn’t determined by universal acceptance but by the authenticity and kindness of one’s actions.
In my reflections, I’ve come to understand that it’s not about how others perceive my efforts but how I perceive them. I am inspired by the idea that while we can’t control others’ opinions, we do control our intentions and efforts. This understanding has been a guiding principle in my life, especially sharpened as I consider the legacy I wish to leave behind. With inspiration from Munger’s philosophy and my own stoicism efforts, I aim to live authentically, contribute meaningfully, and maintain inner peace by upholding my own standards and intentions, striving to make a difference in ways that inspire me, and focusing on acting with goodness and kindness without concern for external judgment.
Original Full Reflection
Charlie Munger, vice chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, passed away on November 28, 2023, at 99 years old. Warren Buffett “described Munger as his closest partner and right-hand man.” Due to my lifetime interest in personal finance and investing, I searched for more information about Munger upon learning of his passing.
A quote from Munger inspires this writing and my preliminary title for a book effort in 2024.
“I Did My Best. I Cared: Reflections on Experiences, Lessons Learned, and Heartfelt Tips to Live a Fulfilling Life.”
As Sahil Bloom shared on Twitter (X), Jason Zweig asked Munger “What he might want for an epitaph of no more than ten words. His reply was immediate and full of epistemic humility: “I tried to be useful.” Not “I was useful.” That would be for other people to judge. But “I tried.” That much he knew.”
Charlie Munger humbly answered, “I tried to be useful,” acknowledging that his intent and effort were under his control – not how others would judge him. His brief statement speaks volumes to his sincere desire to be the best-contributing human he was capable of, yet he was not going to guide his actions based on how he thought others might judge him. External judgment of his actions was not his business. I love his response and his perspective. Munger’s perspective is very stoic-like and reminded me of stoicism thoughts that have touched on this theme often.
The important part of my proposed book title is my personal response to Munger’s answer to a question from Zweig:
No more than ten words, yet this speaks from my heart about how I want to leave my life’s journey: “I Did My Best. I Cared.”
My intent and heart are dedicated to answering affirmatively when I question myself, “Have I done my best?” Not “Have I done my best in the eyes of others?” When we can go deep within ourselves and know that we have done our best, the feeling is liberating and provides peace with ourselves. I am measuring by my own standards and limitations. This is the measuring stick I strive to hold for myself, and I also strive to give grace to others by reminding myself that they are also doing their best – whatever that means for them. The best effort of others is not my place to judge.
Over the past four years, I have been reading The Daily Stoic Meditations daily, and I attribute the process to helping refine my thinking and behavior toward life. This is why Charlie’s epitaph suggestion, focused on what was within HIS control, resonated with me and prompted this reflection.
In the Daily Stoic email post, They’re Not All Going To Like You, we are encouraged to remember that “we are not for everyone, and we never will be.” It is liberating for us to reflect on and accept this fact and go forward with genuine intent to bring good and kindness to the world.
“In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius talks about how it’s easier to deal with stuff when you understand the percentages–that a certain number of certain types of people exist, for example, and you’re bound to bump into them eventually. Do you really think it’s possible for everyone to like you?
We didn’t do anything wrong. This isn’t bigotry or hatred. It’s just a mismatch. That actor whose face you don’t like…you have that same face for someone else. That person you roll your eyes at, you’re them to someone else. That show you change the channel to avoid, someone is doing that to your work right now.”
“You must accept that we’re not for everyone and we never will be. What matters is that we like ourselves, that we stand for what we like, and we leave those who this bothers alone.”
Inspired by my work with the Stoicism philosophy, Charlie Munger’s suggestion for his epitaph hit close to home for me. My heart is full as I consider the progress in my life – staying true to making a difference in the ways that inspire me and not seeking validation and affirmation from others. I did my best. I cared. Today, this sentiment feels perfect for me as I reflect on my life. How I am judged for my contributions is not my concern. I prefer to act with goodness and kindness and know I am making a meaningful impact. I know.
I recently reflected on ChatGPT’s value as a personal assistant for my writing efforts. An exciting discovery for me has been using ChatGPT to review and provide a summary and/or highlights of my writing content – articulated at a level that I cannot attain!
Allow – What We Can’t Do…
Allowing what I cannot do is the highest tier of possibility in the TwinzTalk hierarchy of the Framework for Working with Gen AI (see the post linked above).
In his blog “Signal and Noise,” dated December 15, 2023, Seth Godin’s words hit upon exactly the magic I am enjoying:
“AI and computers can be used as lenses now, which means we can strip away the noise and see things that we certainly didn’t expect.”
“Typical consumer AI is a clever trick that makes us think the computer is a pretty good writer. But machine learning aimed at patterns and signals shows us things that we never knew were there.”
On the same day as Seth’s blog post, Rajesh Setty shared a LinkedIn post encouraging “Embracing constraints with AI.” Similar to the twinz perspective that ChatGPT “allows what we can’t do,” Rajesh notes a similar theme:
“If you can’t do something on your own, use the power of AI to help. There’s no need to “not do it” or just try anymore.”
I encourage you to follow Seth Godin’s blog and Rajesh Setty on social media for thought-provoking content. Be serious and be intentional about learning every day. As Charlie Munger emphasizes:
“Those who keep learning will keep rising in life.”
ChatGPT Plus Dall-E AI Generated Image – Student in Library – Anxious to Learn!
The work that Don and I do around the topic of Generative AI, and specifically ChatGPT Plus, has focused on the potential to improve individual performance. How can we all utilize ChatGPT to enhance performance and raise our contributions to our world and others?
Accelerate – What We Do.
Enable – What We Should Do.
Allow – What We Can’t Do.
These areas are exciting to consider as we enhance our productivity (accelerate), creativity, and thoughts. As we individually improve our understanding of Generative AI and narrow the focus, ChatGPT Plus specifically, our ability to help others accelerates. Embrace this exciting potential.
Over the past 3+ years, I have written regularly and have built an extensive resource of reflections about many topics of interest to me. The process started on June 8, 2020, when Terri (writingThe Focused Fight) and I joined Writing in Community, a six-month initiative to write a book. My initial project was to write a personal (unpublished) memoir/autobiography. What evolved for me was unimaginable – a love of regular writing, celebrating so many who have played a part in my and my family’s lives, and going in directions with my writing that has enriched my life tremendously.
What does this have to do with ChatGPT? Noting from above the highest level of individual possibility – Allow – What We Can’t Do – I used ChatGPT to summarize content for me. As an extension of my writing, gaining insight from ChatGPT ignited a new level of results that I confidently placed in the “What I can’t do” category!
My memoirs that I have completed since embarking on my writing adventure in 2020:
Published:
Chapter 32 of The Focused Fight – Heartfelt Reflections from Bill and Olivia.
Unpublished:
Personal autobiography/memoir (December 2020) – Living Life…Off The Track.
Memoir of daughter Olivia (December 2021) – Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer.
Memoir of brother Alex (February 2023) – “Million Dollar Al” and Beyond.
Memoir of twin brother Don (December 2023) – Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes.
On June 21, 2023, I shared a blog post using ChatGPT to recap chapter 19,The Postcard Project, of The Focused Fight. The results I received back were stunning and have inspired me to ask ChatGPT to provide summaries of my writing regularly. Using my writing, ChatGPT summarizes and articulates the meaning better than I could ever do myself! I have a new personal assistant to assist my writing efforts!
To be shared separately, I used ChatGPT to provide me a “Book Back Cover Blurb” in the document gifted to my brothers Alex and Don.
In this blog post, I share my reflections and insights shaped by a journey marked with resilience and gratitude, deeply influenced by my son Ryan’s courageous battles against cancer. Drawing wisdom from Terri Tomoff’s “The Focused Fight,” I explore how these profound experiences have enriched my perspective, fostering a commitment to spread kindness and positivity.
As I approach my 65th birthday, my heart is brimming with gratitude. I’m dedicated to living a life filled with impact, kindness, and helpfulness, embracing the concept of post-traumatic growth. I’m inspired by Adam Grant’s “five-minute favors” from his book “Give and Take,” believing in the cumulative power of small, intentional acts of kindness.
My life philosophy is encapsulated in three core themes. Firstly, through “The Focused Fight,” I aim to encourage others with a message of gentleness and understanding. Secondly, our Tomoff family mission focuses on helping one person, one family, at a time. Finally, along with my twin Don and our #TwinzTalk initiative, we endeavor to change the world one interaction at a time. These principles guide my daily interactions, where I strive to be an encouraging and enthusiastic presence.
Supporting this message, I reference a post from Instagram’s imagine_values and a “Five-Minute Favors” video on YouTube. Additionally, musician Nick Cave’s words resonate deeply with me, highlighting the significance of everyday gestures in creating ripples of change. Cave eloquently speaks to the profound impact of our smallest actions and their meaningful consequences.
In conclusion, I extend a heartfelt invitation to join me in embracing micro-moments of kindness and a gentler approach towards ourselves and others. Every action, no matter how small, matters significantly. Through these seemingly insignificant acts, we can all contribute to lifting the spirits of others, thus shaping a kinder, more compassionate world.
Full Reflection
My perspective and efforts in life strive to lead with a grateful heart as I go through my days. When I am gentle and kind to myself, I am inspired to bring that same presence to the world and those I interact with. I could credit many life events for their role in shaping me into who I am today. Yet, the dramatic life-threatening and life-altering event of my son Ryan’s five-time battles with cancer and the lens through which I experience life have profoundly changed me. Terri Tomoff’s memoir,The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey From Mayhem to Miracles, shares Ryan and our family’s journey since his original diagnosis in 1996.
As I approach my 65th birthday (!), my heart is filled with gratitude for the growth I have experienced in my life, and I am dedicated with my heart and soul to being an impactful, kind, caring, and helpful person for the rest of my life. The concept ofpost-traumatic growth is one that Terri and I embrace fully, and we strive to be intentional in our efforts to pay it forward for the unimaginable care and kindness that has been shared with our family over the years.
Recognizing that TIME is my most precious asset, I have dedicated efforts focused on micro-moments of kindness and five-minute favors (encouraged by Adam Grant in his book Give and Take). Opportunities abound to make a difference in our world, and my approach to seemingly small, insignificant, yet genuine acts of kindness WILL make a compounding difference in my world. How do I “know?” I believe, and I KNOW – I do not need affirmation. I promise – live your life to bring good to the world – and you will notice the impact on you and your world!
A few themes I believe and strive for as part of my values are:
My theme – encouragement with signed copies of The Focused Fight:
“Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.”
Our Tomoff family mission of The Focused Fight book:
“Helping others, one person, one family, at a time.”
Bill and Don Tomoff’s mission of #TwinzTalk and our professional work:
“Changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.”
My preferred contributions for making an impact in my corner of the world are to focus on micro-moments of kindness and five-minute favors. How I conduct myself daily is critically important, and I strive to be an encouraging and enthusiastic presence as I go through my activities and interactions. Our actions matter – a lot. An inspiration fromimagine_values on Instagram is a fantastic reminder for my approach to bringing value to my life and world: “Think big and act small.“
“The everyday human gesture is always a heartbeat away from the miraculous.
Remember that ultimately, we make things happen through our actions, way beyond our understanding or intention; that our seemingly small ordinary human acts have untold consequences; that what we do in this world means something; that we are not nothing; and that our most quotidian human actions by their nature burst the seams of our intent and spill meaningfully and radically through time and space, changing everything.
Our deeds, no matter how insignificant they may feel, are replete with meaning and of vast consequence, and they constantly impact upon the unfolding story of the world, whether we know it or not.”
Portions of the unedited post at the link provided above resonated with me:
“Perhaps the song attempts to present the idea that the everyday human gesture is always a heartbeat away from the miraculous – that ultimately we make things happen through our actions, way beyond our understanding or intention; that our seemingly small ordinary human acts have untold consequences; that what we do in this world means something; that we are not nothing; and that our most quotidian human actions by their nature burst the seams of our intent and spill meaningfully and radically through time and space, changing everything. Night Raid tells us that our deeds, no matter how insignificant they may feel, are replete with meaning, and of vast consequence, and that they constantly impact upon the unfolding story of the world, whether we know it or not.”
“… All action provokes change. Nothing is ineffectual. Nothing.
Francis, rather than feel impotent and useless, you must come to terms with the fact that as a human being you are infinitely powerful, and take responsibility for this tremendous power. Even our smallest actions have potential for great change, positively or negatively, and the way in which we all conduct ourselves within the world means something. You are anything but impotent, you are, in fact, exquisitely and frighteningly dynamic, as are we all, and with all respect you have an obligation to stand up and take responsibility for that potential. It is your most ordinary and urgent duty.”
My hope is anyone who reads my post here will embrace the magic of micro-moments of kindness and five-minute favors. As Nick Cave encourages, EVERY action matters. We all can prioritize time to contribute and lift the spirits of others through seemingly insignificant actions.
May we all adopt a kinder and gentler approach to ourselves and our interactions with others? Join me in this movement.
PS – if you need to move in front of me in a long traffic line, I’ve got you covered!
I pause to reflect back on November 3, 2004, a day ingrained in our hearts as we nervously sat in Duke University Medical Center, awaiting the marrow donation that held the hope of a fresh lease of life for Ryan, battling Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.
The week of outpatient radiation Ryan endured, wiping out his immune system, only intensified the need for a successful transfusion, each passing moment fueling our prayers for the meticulous execution of the transplant.
Our beacon of hope was Scott Harris, whose altruistic act of marrow donation from miles away in New York was the cornerstone of Ryan’s fight for survival. His selfless act is a testament to the adage that humanity thrives in unity.
Rajesh Setty’s words, “Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude,” resonates deeply with our experiences, encapsulating the essence of thankfulness we foster each day for Scott and many others whose benevolence has been a guiding light in our journey.
The narrative within Terri’s memoir, “The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles,” not only chronicles our voyage through turbulent times but also advocates for the priceless act of marrow donation, urging the reader to explore and share the life-saving potential encapsulated in “Be The Match.”
Our narrative is a homage to the boundless generosity we’ve received and a call to action for others to partake in life-altering acts of kindness, fostering a continuum of hope and lifesaving camaraderie.
Full Reflection (Written November 3, 2023)
“Life-changing gifts deserve a lifetime of gratitude.” – Rajesh Setty
November 3, 2004. Nineteen years ago today, my family and I were in Durham, NC, at Duke University Medical Center. Terri Tomoff and my son, sister Olivia’s brother, were with Ryan as we anxiously awaited the marrow donation to be delivered to Duke and prepared for transfusion to Ryan. We all were praying for the successful execution of steps that needed to be taken to provide Ryan with his opportunity for a life-saving transplant. He was waiting in his hospital room after having completed a week of outpatient radiation that eliminated his immune system – his body’s ability to fight an infection was non-existent.
When we experienced Ryan’s 3x wars with childhood cancer (ALL – Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia), we immediately understood that people need people. Success in the process was not in our control. The realization creates desperation. On this day in November 2004, we all waited anxiously for the necessary steps that had to unfold before delivering the marrow transfusion to Ryan.
We would only learn the specifics a full year later. Still, our donor, Scott Harris, from the New York area, started the morning of November 3rd by going to a local hospital to have his marrow harvested for delivery to Duke, where a ten-year-old boy and his family waited. At approximately 7:45 PM, the transplant was started!
Every day, we carry an attitude of gratitude for Scott Harris and the gift of life that his selfless act provided to Ryan and our family. Yet, on the anniversary, we take an intentional pause and reflect on his kindness, along with the care and compassion of many people and medical professionals who dedicated their efforts to Ryan’s survival. Rajesh Setty’s quote above, which I discovered in his YouTube video, “Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time,” could not more perfectly articulate the emotion in our family.
I encourage everyone to watch the video for thought-provoking inspiration and encouragement from Rajesh, particularly from 3:00 to 5:05 minutes, where he references Dr. Howard Hogshead and life-changing gifts.
The list of people I feel heartfelt gratitude for is very long, and we dedicate our lives to helping others, honoring those who have impacted our journey and who ultimately gave the gift of life to Ryan.
In her memoir book, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, Terri discusses Ryan and our family’s in-depth journey through transplant (Chapter 23 – The Transplant) and the emotional meeting with Scott Harris on November 4, 2005 (Chapter 27 – Can YOU Be The Match?).
As Terri asks with her title of chapter 27 – can you be the match? Please check out and share the critically vital link to Be The Match.
November 3, 2004 – Ryan Tomoff transplant is started at 7:45 PMNovember 4, 2005 – Ryan Tomoff meets his Bone Marrow Transplant donor Scott Harris.July 2021 – Olivia, Bill, Terri, and Ryan Tomoff celebrate Terri’s The Focused Fight book, published March 11, 2021December 2019 – Olivia and Ryan Tomoff – Maui, Hawaii
