Unlocking the Keys to Long-Term Fulfillment and Happiness: Insights from Influential Authors – Part 1 of 3 | Introduction

Part 1 of 3 (Introduction) | Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude AI

In my blog post, I explore tips and insights to enhance one’s possibility of long-term fulfillment, success, and happiness. I emphasize that using money and material possessions as a scorecard will not bring inner peace and contentment. Instead, I suggest reframing perspectives on freedom, addressing what “enough” means in life, and understanding the time trade-offs we make. I also highlight the importance of personal development, sharing one’s gifts with the world, and adopting an abundance mindset while being kind and generous.

I acknowledge that following these tips does not guarantee reaching one’s goals but can improve the odds of success. I emphasize focusing on what one can control, such as preparation, effort, and presence, while understanding that external events are beyond our control. I share a personal experience of financial concern during a family health crisis, which changed my lens of gratitude and appreciation.

In part 2 of my blog post, I plan to cover the following highlights:

  • Reframing the perspective on what “freedom” means, as explained by Morgan Housel in his book The Psychology of Money.
  • Addressing what “enough” means in life, as described by April Rinne in her book Flux: 8 Superpowers for Thriving in Constant Change.
  • Understanding time trade-offs that may not increase the quality of life, as discussed in James Clear’s 3-2-1 newsletter.
  • Being relentless in personal development and investing in oneself.
  • Bringing one’s gifts to the world and helping others develop and grow.
  • Adopting an abundance mindset, sharing kindness, and being generous with talents and resources, as explored in Adam Grant’s book Give and Take.

Part 1 of 3 (Introduction) | Full Original Writing

How might we enhance our possibility of long-term fulfillment, success, and happiness? Thanks to some of my favorite authors, here are some tips to contemplate and answer for your life. My personal experience is adopting a few of these into your daily life will change you and bring fulfillment quicker than you imagine!

Let’s get started! Using money and material possessions as your scorecard will not bring you the inner peace that leads to contentment and fulfillment. This is not to suggest that money is not important. We all have bills to pay, but being judicious with money and living beneath our means is often a choice and commitment that will compound to tremendous leverage in the future.

Tips expanded upon below include:

  • Reframe your perspective on what “freedom” means to you. Morgan Housel explains his definition of freedom in his book The Psychology of Money.
  • Relentlessly address what “enough” means in your life. In her book Flux: 8 Superpowers for Thriving in Constant Change, April Rinne describes one of the eight superpowers for embracing change as “know your enough” (not “you are enough” – but that statement is 100% true!).
  • James Clear’s 3-2-1 newsletter for April 11, 2024, reminds us to understand the time trade-offs we often may make that do not increase the quality of our lives.

On a shorter timeframe, understand that our choices and behavior in the everyday moments, compound over the long-term. With that in mind:

  • Be relentless in the area of personal development. Your own development is a gift you give to yourself. There are no shortcuts. Drip, drip, drip, invest in yourself.
  • Bring your gifts to the world. Help others develop and grow.
  • Carry a mindset of abundance, share kindness, and be generous with your talents and resources. Along these lines, Adam Grant’s Give and Take book is a must-read.

Please note my introduction asking, “How might we enhance our possibility of long-term fulfillment, success, and happiness?” I am not naive enough to suggest that the hard work of saving money, personal development, kindness, and generosity towards helping others is a guaranteed path to reaching our goals. As a friend in writing, Karena de Souza, suggests, we should strive to “tilt the future” to improve our odds of success. Adopting the tips in this post will improve the odds in your favor! Always understand we control our preparation, effort, and presence brought to the world. We can influence but do not control events external to our reasoned mind. A January 31, 2024, blog post by Tanmay Vora titled “Focus on Your Circle of Control.” beautifully illustrates this Stoicism concept.

Personally, I am a financial saver at heart. Perpetually working to provide a buffer for unexpected occurrences. We should always strive to anticipate and prepare, yet realize life may (or will eventually) have other plans. In Terri Tomoff’s memoir The Focused Fight, chapter 32, I reflect upon my concern about bankruptcy (2004) as our son Ryan was going to Duke University Medical Center for a bone marrow transplant to save his life as he fought acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL) for the third time in his young life. Thankfully, we survived financially intact, yet I will never forget the intense concern of those times. Moments like these are stark reminders of how little we control, and this changed my lens of gratitude and appreciation forever.

I wrote a blog post on December 29, 2023, titled The Art of the Epitaph: Conveying a Lifetime in Ten Words or Less, where I summarized my life’s effort into six words: “I Did My Best. I Cared.” In the end, each of us doing our best is all anyone can ask. My effort, caring, presence, and best are all I or anyone can ask for.

With this clarification, in part 2, I will dive deeper into the above-mentioned tips. Please check it out and enjoy the inspiration from Morgan Housel, April Rinne, James Clear, and Adam Grant!

Living with Intention: My Path to Post-Traumatic Growth and Encouraging Everyday Kindness

ChatGPT Summary

In this blog post, I share my reflections and insights shaped by a journey marked with resilience and gratitude, deeply influenced by my son Ryan’s courageous battles against cancer. Drawing wisdom from Terri Tomoff’s “The Focused Fight,” I explore how these profound experiences have enriched my perspective, fostering a commitment to spread kindness and positivity.

As I approach my 65th birthday, my heart is brimming with gratitude. I’m dedicated to living a life filled with impact, kindness, and helpfulness, embracing the concept of post-traumatic growth. I’m inspired by Adam Grant’s “five-minute favors” from his book “Give and Take,” believing in the cumulative power of small, intentional acts of kindness.

My life philosophy is encapsulated in three core themes. Firstly, through “The Focused Fight,” I aim to encourage others with a message of gentleness and understanding. Secondly, our Tomoff family mission focuses on helping one person, one family, at a time. Finally, along with my twin Don and our #TwinzTalk initiative, we endeavor to change the world one interaction at a time. These principles guide my daily interactions, where I strive to be an encouraging and enthusiastic presence.

Supporting this message, I reference a post from Instagram’s imagine_values and a “Five-Minute Favors” video on YouTube. Additionally, musician Nick Cave’s words resonate deeply with me, highlighting the significance of everyday gestures in creating ripples of change. Cave eloquently speaks to the profound impact of our smallest actions and their meaningful consequences.

In conclusion, I extend a heartfelt invitation to join me in embracing micro-moments of kindness and a gentler approach towards ourselves and others. Every action, no matter how small, matters significantly. Through these seemingly insignificant acts, we can all contribute to lifting the spirits of others, thus shaping a kinder, more compassionate world.

Full Reflection

My perspective and efforts in life strive to lead with a grateful heart as I go through my days. When I am gentle and kind to myself, I am inspired to bring that same presence to the world and those I interact with. I could credit many life events for their role in shaping me into who I am today. Yet, the dramatic life-threatening and life-altering event of my son Ryan’s five-time battles with cancer and the lens through which I experience life have profoundly changed me. Terri Tomoff’s memoir, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey From Mayhem to Miracles, shares Ryan and our family’s journey since his original diagnosis in 1996.

As I approach my 65th birthday (!), my heart is filled with gratitude for the growth I have experienced in my life, and I am dedicated with my heart and soul to being an impactful, kind, caring, and helpful person for the rest of my life. The concept of post-traumatic growth is one that Terri and I embrace fully, and we strive to be intentional in our efforts to pay it forward for the unimaginable care and kindness that has been shared with our family over the years.

Recognizing that TIME is my most precious asset, I have dedicated efforts focused on micro-moments of kindness and five-minute favors (encouraged by Adam Grant in his book Give and Take). Opportunities abound to make a difference in our world, and my approach to seemingly small, insignificant, yet genuine acts of kindness WILL make a compounding difference in my world. How do I “know?” I believe, and I KNOW – I do not need affirmation. I promise – live your life to bring good to the world – and you will notice the impact on you and your world!

A few themes I believe and strive for as part of my values are:

My theme – encouragement with signed copies of The Focused Fight:

“Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.”

Our Tomoff family mission of The Focused Fight book:

“Helping others, one person, one family, at a time.”

Bill and Don Tomoff’s mission of #TwinzTalk and our professional work:

“Changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.”

My preferred contributions for making an impact in my corner of the world are to focus on micro-moments of kindness and five-minute favors. How I conduct myself daily is critically important, and I strive to be an encouraging and enthusiastic presence as I go through my activities and interactions. Our actions matter – a lot. An inspiration from imagine_values on Instagram is a fantastic reminder for my approach to bringing value to my life and world: “Think big and act small.

A beautiful discussion of “Five-Minute Favors” is shared in this short 4-minute and 41-second YouTube video from Good Morning America.

And, to close, James Clear’s 3-2-1 weekly newsletter from Thursday, November 23, 2023, shared a beautiful excerpt from musician Nick Cave:

Musician Nick Cave on the power of small actions:

“The everyday human gesture is always a heartbeat away from the miraculous.

Remember that ultimately, we make things happen through our actions, way beyond our understanding or intention; that our seemingly small ordinary human acts have untold consequences; that what we do in this world means something; that we are not nothing; and that our most quotidian human actions by their nature burst the seams of our intent and spill meaningfully and radically through time and space, changing everything.

Our deeds, no matter how insignificant they may feel, are replete with meaning and of vast consequence, and they constantly impact upon the unfolding story of the world, whether we know it or not.”

Source: ​The Red Hand Files, Issue #216​ (lightly edited for clarity)

Portions of the unedited post at the link provided above resonated with me:

“Perhaps the song attempts to present the idea that the everyday human gesture is always a heartbeat away from the miraculous – that ultimately we make things happen through our actions, way beyond our understanding or intention; that our seemingly small ordinary human acts have untold consequences; that what we do in this world means something; that we are not nothing; and that our most quotidian human actions by their nature burst the seams of our intent and spill meaningfully and radically through time and space, changing everything. Night Raid tells us that our deeds, no matter how insignificant they may feel, are replete with meaning, and of vast consequence, and that they constantly impact upon the unfolding story of the world, whether we know it or not.”

“… All action provokes change. Nothing is ineffectual. Nothing.

Francis, rather than feel impotent and useless, you must come to terms with the fact that as a human being you are infinitely powerful, and take responsibility for this tremendous power. Even our smallest actions have potential for great change, positively or negatively, and the way in which we all conduct ourselves within the world means something. You are anything but impotent, you are, in fact, exquisitely and frighteningly dynamic, as are we all, and with all respect you have an obligation to stand up and take responsibility for that potential. It is your most ordinary and urgent duty.”

My hope is anyone who reads my post here will embrace the magic of micro-moments of kindness and five-minute favors. As Nick Cave encourages, EVERY action matters. We all can prioritize time to contribute and lift the spirits of others through seemingly insignificant actions. 

May we all adopt a kinder and gentler approach to ourselves and our interactions with others? Join me in this movement.

PS – if you need to move in front of me in a long traffic line, I’ve got you covered!

April 2023 - Bill and Ryan Tomoff
The Tomoff Family - Terri, Olivia, Ryan, and Bill