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The Art of the Epitaph: Conveying a Lifetime in Ten Words or Less

Executive Summary (Assist to ChatGPT – modified)

As I reflect on the passing of Charlie Munger, I’m drawn to his humble suggestion for his epitaph, “I tried to be useful,” a sentiment that deeply resonates with my personal journey. His legacy, marked by wisdom and humility, inspires me to consider my life’s motto in ten words or less, “I did my best. I cared.” This phrase encapsulates my commitment to living with effort, compassion, and personal accountability, emphasizing that my actions are guided by intrinsic motivation rather than the pursuit of external validation. My recent four years of daily engagement with stoic meditations have profoundly influenced my perspective, teaching me the liberating truth that one’s value isn’t determined by universal acceptance but by the authenticity and kindness of one’s actions.

In my reflections, I’ve come to understand that it’s not about how others perceive my efforts but how I perceive them. I am inspired by the idea that while we can’t control others’ opinions, we do control our intentions and efforts. This understanding has been a guiding principle in my life, especially sharpened as I consider the legacy I wish to leave behind. With inspiration from Munger’s philosophy and my own stoicism efforts, I aim to live authentically, contribute meaningfully, and maintain inner peace by upholding my own standards and intentions, striving to make a difference in ways that inspire me, and focusing on acting with goodness and kindness without concern for external judgment.

Original Full Reflection

Charlie Munger, vice chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, passed away on November 28, 2023, at 99 years old. Warren Buffett “described Munger as his closest partner and right-hand man.” Due to my lifetime interest in personal finance and investing, I searched for more information about Munger upon learning of his passing.

A quote from Munger inspires this writing and my preliminary title for a book effort in 2024.

“I Did My Best. I Cared: Reflections on Experiences, Lessons Learned, and Heartfelt Tips to Live a Fulfilling Life.”

As Sahil Bloom shared on Twitter (X), Jason Zweig asked Munger “What he might want for an epitaph of no more than ten words. His reply was immediate and full of epistemic humility: “I tried to be useful.” Not “I was useful.” That would be for other people to judge. But “I tried.” That much he knew.”

Charlie Munger humbly answered, “I tried to be useful,” acknowledging that his intent and effort were under his control – not how others would judge him. His brief statement speaks volumes to his sincere desire to be the best-contributing human he was capable of, yet he was not going to guide his actions based on how he thought others might judge him. External judgment of his actions was not his business. I love his response and his perspective. Munger’s perspective is very stoic-like and reminded me of stoicism thoughts that have touched on this theme often.

The important part of my proposed book title is my personal response to Munger’s answer to a question from Zweig:

No more than ten words, yet this speaks from my heart about how I want to leave my life’s journey: “I Did My Best. I Cared.”

My intent and heart are dedicated to answering affirmatively when I question myself, “Have I done my best?” Not “Have I done my best in the eyes of others?” When we can go deep within ourselves and know that we have done our best, the feeling is liberating and provides peace with ourselves. I am measuring by my own standards and limitations. This is the measuring stick I strive to hold for myself, and I also strive to give grace to others by reminding myself that they are also doing their best – whatever that means for them. The best effort of others is not my place to judge.

Over the past four years, I have been reading The Daily Stoic Meditations daily, and I attribute the process to helping refine my thinking and behavior toward life. This is why Charlie’s epitaph suggestion, focused on what was within HIS control, resonated with me and prompted this reflection.

In the Daily Stoic email post, They’re Not All Going To Like You, we are encouraged to remember that “we are not for everyone, and we never will be.” It is liberating for us to reflect on and accept this fact and go forward with genuine intent to bring good and kindness to the world.

“In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius talks about how it’s easier to deal with stuff when you understand the percentages–that a certain number of certain types of people exist, for example, and you’re bound to bump into them eventually. Do you really think it’s possible for everyone to like you?

We didn’t do anything wrong. This isn’t bigotry or hatred. It’s just a mismatch. That actor whose face you don’t like…you have that same face for someone else. That person you roll your eyes at, you’re them to someone else. That show you change the channel to avoid, someone is doing that to your work right now.”

“You must accept that we’re not for everyone and we never will be. What matters is that we like ourselves, that we stand for what we like, and we leave those who this bothers alone.”

Inspired by my work with the Stoicism philosophy, Charlie Munger’s suggestion for his epitaph hit close to home for me. My heart is full as I consider the progress in my life – staying true to making a difference in the ways that inspire me and not seeking validation and affirmation from others. I did my best. I cared. Today, this sentiment feels perfect for me as I reflect on my life. How I am judged for my contributions is not my concern. I prefer to act with goodness and kindness and know I am making a meaningful impact. I know.

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The Unseen Power of ChatGPT in My Personal Growth and Writing

The work that Don and I do around the topic of Generative AI, and specifically ChatGPT Plus, has focused on the potential to improve individual performance. How can we all utilize ChatGPT to enhance performance and raise our contributions to our world and others?

  1. Accelerate – What We Do.
  2. Enable – What We Should Do.
  3. Allow – What We Can’t Do.

These areas are exciting to consider as we enhance our productivity (accelerate), creativity, and thoughts. As we individually improve our understanding of Generative AI and narrow the focus, ChatGPT Plus specifically, our ability to help others accelerates. Embrace this exciting potential.

Over the past 3+ years, I have written regularly and have built an extensive resource of reflections about many topics of interest to me. The process started on June 8, 2020, when Terri (writing The Focused Fight) and I joined Writing in Community, a six-month initiative to write a book. My initial project was to write a personal (unpublished) memoir/autobiography. What evolved for me was unimaginable – a love of regular writing, celebrating so many who have played a part in my and my family’s lives, and going in directions with my writing that has enriched my life tremendously.

What does this have to do with ChatGPT? Noting from above the highest level of individual possibility – Allow – What We Can’t Do – I used ChatGPT to summarize content for me. As an extension of my writing, gaining insight from ChatGPT ignited a new level of results that I confidently placed in the “What I can’t do” category!

My memoirs that I have completed since embarking on my writing adventure in 2020:

Published:

  • Chapter 32 of The Focused Fight – Heartfelt Reflections from Bill and Olivia.

Unpublished:

  1. Personal autobiography/memoir (December 2020) – Living Life…Off The Track.
  2. Memoir of daughter Olivia (December 2021) – Forever Changed: One Family’s Adventure with The Beautiful Game of Soccer.
  3. Memoir of brother Alex (February 2023) – “Million Dollar Al” and Beyond.
  4. Memoir of twin brother Don (December 2023) – Double Vision: Seeing Life Through Twin Eyes.

On June 21, 2023, I shared a blog post using ChatGPT to recap chapter 19, The Postcard Project, of The Focused Fight. The results I received back were stunning and have inspired me to ask ChatGPT to provide summaries of my writing regularly. Using my writing, ChatGPT summarizes and articulates the meaning better than I could ever do myself! I have a new personal assistant to assist my writing efforts!

To be shared separately, I used ChatGPT to provide me a “Book Back Cover Blurb” in the document gifted to my brothers Alex and Don.

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Beyond the Present: The Transformative Skill of Anticipation

What are your superpowers? Consider appreciating and developing the power of anticipation. #TwinzTalk

In my recent morning reading, the August 25th post titled Cultivate the Third Eye in Robert Greene’s book The Daily Laws resonated with me.

In our personal development agenda, Don and I address anticipation as a superpower we have developed throughout our careers. Greene suggests that “reading the future” is a trait we can learn and develop. He notes:

“Most people are locked in the moment. They are prone to overreacting and panicking, to seeing only a narrow part of the reality facing the group. They cannot entertain alternative ideas or prioritize. Those who maintain their presence of mind and elevate their perspective above the moment tap into the visionary powers of the human mind and cultivate that third eye for unseen forces and trends. They stand out from the group and fulfill the true function of leadership.”

Prioritize time to contemplate your superpowers. Many superpowers are not inherited – they can be developed. Anticipation is powerful and well worth deliberately working towards. The payoff compounds – working and living with a proactive mindset vs. reacting to what the world throws at us – are incredibly valuable!

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From Fear to Action: Adopting a Low-Risk Approach to New Technologies

Summary of Blog Post Highlights (assist to ChatGPT)

After I have written about a topic of interest, I often enjoy prompting ChatGPT to provide a TL;DR summary and/or a recap of highlights. I have found ChatGPT often recaps my words and articulates my thoughts better than I can! The highlights of the full blog post:

  1. Stay Calm: Don’t succumb to the fear and hysteria often portrayed by mainstream media. Embrace change with a calm and open mind.
  2. Adopt a Possibility Mindset: Be optimistic about AI’s potential benefits. Rather than fearing the unknown, explore new technology’s possibilities.
  3. Limit Exposure to Alarmist Media: Alarmist narratives often overemphasize the risks of AI. Make an effort to seek balanced, well-researched information.
  4. Be Curious, Not Judgmental: Approach AI with curiosity and an eagerness to learn. Don’t dismiss it outright due to misconceptions or biases.
  5. Test Out Technology: Engage with AI in low-risk situations to gain firsthand experience. Ignoring AI might pose a higher risk in the long run.
  6. Leverage, Don’t Overly Rely on AI: While AI can be highly beneficial, don’t become too dependent on it. Strive for a balanced use of technology.
  7. Continuous Learning and Development: By remaining curious and open-minded, you can continually develop personally and professionally. AI offers an array of opportunities for learning and growth.
  8. Make Informed Decisions: By engaging with AI, you can make educated decisions about its utility. This will allow you to benefit from the technology while mitigating the potential risks of choosing to ignore the tools.
  9. Contribute Positively: A measured, intentional approach to AI can enable you to make significant contributions to society and improve your own life.

Full Blog Post

I recently read a blog post by Ted Lamade, published by Collaborative Fund, titled Fear of Acorns.

Starting with a story about the fable of Chicken Little, Lamade turns the focus to the modern-day introduction of AI and the fact that there is no shortage of fear that “the sky is falling” and that AI is leading us down a dangerous path. Is the fear warranted?

The fear is probably not warranted. Ask the TwinzTalk duo, and Don and I will enthusiastically share the incredible potential for good that we believe AI will bring to people who are calm, curious, and asking the question, “How can these AI tools be used to help?”

While AI is the “latest” technology, it is easy to find plenty of mainstream media coverage broadcasting the danger to our future lives; creating fear is a common quick reaction that scares people and supports a desire to stay with the status quo in their life. On an individual level, we must start by analyzing our responses and considering, “Am I taking a deliberate, thoughtful approach to my decisions, or am I part of the problem by taking a negative stand without doing any research on my own?”

Below, I will share thoughts from the article and tips that Don and I recommend as a more rational and thoughtful approach to assessing new technologies, including our approach to using ChatGPT AI.

“…an irrational amount of fear is a problem because it makes us susceptible to the “Foxy Loxy’s” of the world. Those who aim to leverage fear for personal gain. Those who sell advice, products, and services that feed into the fear. Those who want it to magnify it at every turn. The media is the obvious culprit, but there are countless others.”

“This past weekend alone, there were more than two dozen articles in the various papers I read highlighting the risks surrounding AI, how it is going to dismantle the American workforce, cause the wealth gap to widen even further, destabilize the economy, and even lead to nuclear holocaust.”

“For something that is so confusing and complicated, the answer is likely relatively simple. For industries less dependent on human behavior, AI will likely be a highly beneficial development. However, for those more dependent on us and our whims, caution is likely warranted.

This said, the majority of industries will unsurprisingly fall somewhere in the middle, which means they will be better off if they find a way to leverage but not rely too heavily on these new technologies.”

The article is thought-provoking and should encourage anyone to “take a deeper look” and study the possibilities of AI before dismissing the technology outright. The riskiest decision may be “I don’t need this,” and to proceed with your life’s routine. The approach that Don and I have used throughout our careers and are currently using around adopting ChatGPT and other AI technologies rapidly showing up in the world is:

  • Stay calm.
  • Carry a mindset of possibility. Be optimistic.
  • Do not watch or limit exposure to mainstream media, which brings alarmist news or the latest catastrophe to our living rooms.
  • Be curious and not judgemental. Ask yourself, “What might I be missing?” Read widely and study how tools are being used.
  • Choose to test out technology with the lowest risk proposition. Remember, choosing to ignore or do nothing may be an expensive choice in the longer run. By choosing low-risk ways to touch technology, you are gaining firsthand experience and are able to make a more educated decision for yourself as to whether to use it or not. By choosing low-risk, a mistake does not eliminate you from playing the game.

A calmer, optimistic mindset and a more intentional approach toward technology will open up a surprising world of possibilities to develop yourself personally and professionally. Be curious and chip away every day. You will develop yourself and become a more substantial contributor to your world and those who surround you!

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Beyond Money: The Power of Your Personal Balance Sheet for Success

“We need to keep our sight on managing the balance sheet.”

I was stating a phrase often as I evolved in my career finance leadership roles. Along with that phrase was a follow-up noting, “The balance sheet is where the magic is.“

High emphasis is given to a company’s profit and loss performance within the business world. Yet, we must fully understand and monitor/manage the full range of financial statements – the income statement (P&L), the balance sheet, and the statement of cash flows. Mr. Pollin, the former owner of the NBA Washington Wizards, NHL Washington Capitals, and the arena in downtown Washington, DC (MCI Center built and opened on December 2, 1997), once emphasized to me, “Cash is king.” Cash provides freedom in business – space to allow for investing and growth decisions, a buffer to enable the peace of mind that the company can weather an economic downturn and possibly make decisions to come out even stronger on the other side of tough times.

Where does cash reside in the financial statements? The balance sheet. Cash and business equity (retained earnings) are the two figures that shine a spotlight on the possible health of a company.

“Wait, are you telling me the income statement is not important? How do we know how we are performing?” We are NOT suggesting the income statement is not essential – closely monitoring, understanding, and managing revenues and expenses is imperative for any business. A sustainable business does not happen or survive by performing at a net loss (expenses greater than revenues) year in and year out. Yet when a viable business generates a profit, a tandem step must be working diligently on managing the balance sheet.

What sources and uses of cash? Are we operating at a positive cash flow level? We must increase the balance sheet cash and retained earnings.

Most accounting professionals understand the descriptions and emphasis noted above. What Don and I encourage/implore individual professionals to understand – the concept of “manage the balance sheet” applies to all of us in our personal lives. The results can be catastrophic if we fail to recognize and dedicate ourselves to this critically important work.

A choice to do nothing and not own our personal development is still a choice. Once awareness is acknowledged, inaction is a choice. We need to highlight and understand the risks.

A component of our morning reading process includes The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. The meditation of July 17th, The Start-Up of You, noted emphasis on personal development:

But what does Socrates say? “Just as one person delights in improving his farm and another his horse, so I delight in attending to my own improvement day by day.”

—Epictetus, Discourses, 3.5.14

An excerpt from the meditation notes:

“But shouldn’t we be just as invested in building ourselves as we would be in any company?

Like a start-up, we begin as just an idea: we’re incubated, put out into the world where we develop slowly, and then, over time, we accumulate partners, employees, customers, investors, and wealth. Is it really so strange to treat your own life as seriously as you might treat an idea for a business? Which one really is the matter of life and death?”

When contemplating our personal lives, let’s understand the perspective of a macro view beyond the financial elements. Below are several factors that we would consider aspects of the individual balance sheet:

  • Financial matters are a significant pillar in our balance sheets. Be bold about embracing personal finance knowledge. We suggest Morgan Housel’s The Psychology of Money.
  • Cash, investments, and net worth are the core elements in the traditional sense of the balance sheet.

Morgan Housel, in this CNBC article, notes:

“Being able to do what you want, when you want, where you want, with who you want, and for as long as you want provides a lasting level of happiness that no amount of “fancy stuff” can ever offer.”

  • Commit to personal development. Invest your own time and money and actively seek learning opportunities in areas of your interest and professional growth.
  • Self-care is essential and is not a selfish priority. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Exercise and get your rest.
  • Mindset – embrace a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset.
  • Adopt a morning reading routine. Challenge your thinking and learn from others.
  • Bring kindness, positivity, and encouragement to the world. You will feel better, be noticed, and appreciated.
  • In small ways, help others consistently-every day, with no expectation. You will feel more fulfilled.
  • What presence do you bring to the world – we need to be a friend to ourselves, our world, and each other.
  • Stay CALM. Great strength and advantage accrue to individuals who can keep themselves aware and clear-headed in times of adversity. A helpful post from The Daily Stoic – How To Remain Calm When The World Is Freaking Out.
  • Relationships – who do you spend your time with?
  • What media do you consume? We are what we consume.

Slow down and prioritize time in your day to assess and work on your personal balance sheet. We hope this post provides thoughts that guide you toward an increasingly fulfilling life. To work on ourselves is a privilege and a joy – a better you helps to create a better world.

Invest in yourself. The world needs your talents and contributions!

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Beyond Quick Wins: Building a Lifestyle for Sustainable Success

Overview

This blog post is inspired by James Clear’s May 25, 2023, 3-2-1 newsletter, which emphasizes that lasting achievements are a result of a lifestyle rather than isolated efforts. I share a few of my personal experiences to highlight the power of consistent, dedicated actions over time. Examples include a history of distance running, adopting an early adopter mindset toward technology, a five-year planking challenge, daily reading of stoic meditations, and joining a writing platform. These habits have been integrated into my life, and I hope these demonstrate how showing up and working every day can lead to significant improvements and fulfillment over time.

Featured image: 3L’s of Self-Directed Learning visual credit to Tanmay Vora at qaspire.com

Full Blog Post

I have previously written that a favorite part of my reading process is James Clear’s 3-2-1 newsletter he publishes weekly on Thursday. When reading his thoughts for May 25, 2023, I was stopped by a thought that was short yet undeniably true.

James was making the point that daily efforts are not going to result in noticeable improvements. However, consistent effort daily WILL bring improvement over the long haul of life. His thought shared:

“Just because improvements aren’t visible doesn’t mean they aren’t happening.

You’re not going to see the number change each time you step on the scale. You’re not going to finish a chapter each time you sit down to write.

Early wins come easy. Lasting wins require a lifestyle.”

3-2-1: One of the most valuable skills in life, and starting before you feel ready

Don and I have shared superpowers throughout life and have been disciplined in showing up, over and over, through the long run of YEARS. Small, dedicated, consistent efforts, repeated as a fabric of your lifestyle, will be rewarding. Period. Every athlete or person focused on personal development understands the compounding effects of the drip, drip, drip, showing up and doing some work every day. In our lives, examples of activities that are part of our lifestyle fabric include:

  1. High school, college, and post-college years of competitive distance running. Our dedication to preparation and being our best to compete paid off for running, and the process changed our perspective on how we approach everything important in our lives. The rewards of our distance running careers were gratifying, yet the lifetime gift of understanding the value of relentless consistent preparation was unimaginable.
  2. Adoption of an early adopter mindset throughout our careers. We were, and are, curious about technology tools (what an incredible time for a business career!) and how to leverage the tools in our work. Repeatedly, we would select the “road less traveled” and could be found playing around with tech tools while our peers were out having fun on a Saturday night (for example) or late into the evening after the traditional workday had ended. Investing in ourselves, with our time and personal resources, was a lifestyle that “walked after us.”
  3. March 25, 2018 – we started a 30-day planking challenge, and the commitment stuck. Today, on May 26, 2023, we have completed over five consecutive years of planking (almost 1,900 days). Low-back muscle spasm problems have vastly improved thanks to the daily, do-not-miss habit that is now a lifestyle for us. “I have to do a plank” has evolved to “I GET to do a plank.”
  4. On January 1, 2020, I began a journey of reading The Daily Stoic Meditations each morning. I am now in my fourth year of reading the book – one meditation a day for each day of the year. In addition, I have added additional books for meditation to my morning reading routine. I currently read seven different books of daily meditations, which have become a non-negotiable 30 to 45-minute start to each day. I am an improved person for investing this time in myself every morning.
  5. June 8, 2020 – Terri and I joined an Akimbo Writing in Community platform – a six-month session – and have joined every subsequent session. We are now on a similar platform, Brainstorm Road, and have exceeded one thousand days of consecutive writing. The process, and the wonderful, generous, and talented people we have met, have enhanced our lives. The “lens through which we view life” has become more sharpened and appreciative.

The above list are examples and is not all-inclusive. We create habits in our lives around our highest priorities. These habits are a lifestyle.

What is a priority in your life that would benefit from your showing up and doing the work every day?

Bill Tomoff with The Daily Stoic book and Companion Reflection Journal
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Dawn of Awareness: A Journey of Self-Discovery through Morning Meditations

Executive Summary

In my full post below, I emphasize the importance of a dedicated morning routine spent reading and reflecting on a variety of daily meditation books. Beginning the day with 30 to 45 minutes of reading without electronic distractions has become integral to my lifestyle.

My morning reading includes:

  1. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations,
  2. The Daily Laws,
  3. The Book of Awakening,
  4. The Daily Dad,
  5. The Course in Miracles Experiment,
  6. A Calendar of Wisdom, and
  7. Thriving as an Empath.

I also include Seth Godin’s daily blog and James Clear’s weekly newsletter. These readings provide a rich source of perspective and encouragement, aiding self-awareness and regularly challenging my preconceived thoughts. Although some concepts are difficult for me to embrace, the overall value derived from each book is life-enhancing. I encourage you to consider developing your own morning reading routine. Invest in yourself!

Full Blog Post

My morning reading is a treasured aspect of my day. The process of intentionally reading a mediation each morning began with The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on January 1, 2020. The encouragement of the stoic philosophy has resonated with me and my journey with Stoicism has grown more extensive. I have written a full separate reflection on “Why Stoicism?“

Reading a short meditation each morning has expanded to several books and other readings I work through daily. My process is about the first 30 to 45 minutes each morning – quiet time with my coffee and no phone or other electronic devices.

My morning routine now includes the following:

  • The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have by Mark Nepo
    • Started on February 26, 2023.
    • I discovered Mark Nepo when I came upon and read his September 2022 book Surviving Storms: Finding the Strength to Meet Adversity.
    • The Book of Awakening is a New York Times bestseller – Mark Nepo has been called “one of the finest spiritual guides of our time” and “a consummate storyteller.”
  • The Course in Miracles Experiment: A Starter Kit for Rewiring Your Mind by Pam Grout
    • It started on August 2, 2021.
    • Gift from Terri Tomoff in April 2021 – two months after her uterine cancer surgery. I hold this book of meditations with special gratitude.
    • The book is a rewrite of the A Course in Miracles Workbook – Pam Grout’s book back cover describes her book’s purpose: “Pam Grout to the rescue! Her book is for all those still struggling with the Course. Grout offers a modern-day rewrite of the 365-lesson workbook – the text at the heart of the Course. Unlike the original, it’s user-friendly, accessible, and easy for everyone to understand.”
  • Seth Godin’s Daily Blog
    • Started in 2010.
    • Who is Seth Godin? (Seth inspires me daily, and he has changed my perspective on life)

My list may seem ambitious to start each day, but the meditations are short and digestible. My morning routine helps me reach a frame of mind to go out and make a difference in my day.

I have grown to love the process of reading a short meditation by many different authors. My mission is to touch and absorb perspectives and encouragement that may help my thought process about how I perceive and approach my life. Awareness is key and touching topics that challenge my established thinking. My mission is to be aware and apply the topics to my life – many meditations have me cheering, while others trigger me to think, “I cannot get myself there.” Examples – the Stoicism concepts Amor Fati and Momento Mori are important to be aware of, yet living the concepts will be nonstop work for the rest of my life. The Daily Stoic Meditations are one example – the other books present similar challenges. However, on the whole perspective, the value I gain from each book is wonderful.

My intent with these meditation books to reread each year and keep them in my “rotation.” The time commitment each morning is negligible compared to the compelling value I receive. In Ryan Holidays’ introduction to The Daily Dad, he encourages reading meditations over each year:

“My book The Daily Stoic is now well into the second half of its first decade. With more than a million copies in print in forty languages, there are people who have read it every day for years [Bill T comment – into my 4th year of reading daily]. Even though the book is the same as it was when I submitted it to the publisher in the fall of 2015, it continues to connect with and be of service to people all over the world. There’s a Stoic observation about how we never step into the same river twice, for both we and the river are in a constant state of change.”

“On a minute-by-minute basis, your kids and life put you in situations you could never have imagined on your own (and that none of the books seem to anticipate). So while there is no sudden transformation in parenting, there is still a process, a working at it, that you must take up. That’s what this book—one page per day—is built around. Not a one-time thing but a morning or an evening ritual, a checking in, a continual process.

We will fall short. We will lose our tempers, get distracted, prioritize the wrong things, even hurt ourselves and the people we love in the process. What then? Just as with the pages of this book, we must pick back up where we left off. We must accept the fact that we are flawed humans while doing our best to learn from our errors and to not make the same mistakes twice . . . or any more times than we already have.

Dust yourself off. Recommit. Do better.

That journey—The Daily Dad as a book and as an idea—is, of course, not just for men. Our daily email, which has been free at dailydad.com, is received by thousands of women each morning. It’s called The Daily Dad because I happen to be a father—of two boys—and that’s about all you need to read into the name.”

One may ask the question, “When you travel, how do you keep up with so many books?” I have a hard copy of five of the seven books, but I have the Kindle e-book of all seven books. My meditations are read via the Kindle app on my iPhone when on the road. Very convenient, and I LOVE the freedom of having the content available anytime, anywhere!

What is your morning routine? Do you read and contemplate any books of meditations on a daily basis?

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Personal Development Will Be Difficult. Embrace Adversity.

Working with my twin Don and I will be challenging. We will push you, and yes, it will be uncomfortable. We will ask you to demand more from yourself – because there IS MORE potential within all of us. The reward of personal growth – for ourselves and others – is compelling. We have experienced the benefits throughout our lives and careers, and thus why we are so committed to encouraging others.

We credit our mindset of continual learning, acceptance of being wrong, and failing over and over to our background as college and competitive marathon distance runners. Today’s Daily Stoic email asks, “When Is The Last Time You Challenged Yourself?”

The fact is, we all will face adversity in our lives. Unavoidably, extreme adversity may be thrust upon us, and we have no choice but to respond with every ounce of our being. In my family, my son Ryan’s childhood cancer diagnosis on October 17, 1996, changed our lives forever. His and our family’s story is told in Terri Tomoff’s memoir The Focused Fight.

Yet, outside of fate forcing adversity upon us, there is strength in placing ourselves in positions of chosen adversity. I encourage reading the short blog post linked above and contemplating where you might most immediately apply in your life. Highlights from the post:

“It’s very easy to get comfortable. To build up your life exactly how you want it to be. Minimize inconveniences and hand off the stuff you don’t like to do. To find what you enjoy, where you enjoy it, and never leave.

A velvet rut is what it’s called. It’s nice, but the comfort tricks you into thinking that you’re not stuck.”

“…as soon as we stop growing, we start dying. Or at least, we become more vulnerable to the swings of Fate and Fortune. Seneca talked over and over again about the importance of adversity, of not only embracing the struggle life throws at us but actively seeking out that difficulty, so you can be stronger and better and more prepared. A person who has never been challenged, he said, who always gets their way, is a tragic figure. They have no idea what they are capable of. They are not even close to fulfilling their potential.

“Prioritize a few minutes to contemplate, “What personal development challenge is most interesting or impactful for me, and how can I chip away every day, embracing the difficulty, so I can be stronger, better, and more prepared?”

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Tilt The Future | Personal Development with Karena de Souza

Share your message. Stay the course. Your tribe WILL emerge. #TwinzTalk

My twin Don and I have lived our careers dedicated to developing and bringing our best potential to our careers and lives. Personal development and a willingness to invest in ourselves is a commitment we take seriously – we owe this to ourselves, those we work with, and the companies and clients we work for.

During a recent writing ✍️ retreat that Terri and I attended in the South of France (a post for another day – the experience was EPIC), I had the opportunity for an IRL meetup with Karena de Souza. I met Karena in 2020 through a writing community we participated in, and we have developed a virtual friendship over the past [almost] three years. In-person, we shared many conversations during the week. She is most definitely a kindred spirit in her encouragement and emphasis on the importance of investing in yourself and the need for continual personal development. We are delighted to have her as part of our tribe!

Don and I are inspired by Karena’s dedication to helping others grow and continually learn. Listen in as Karena, and I talk IRL about the critical importance of establishing individual priorities around learning – for ourselves, our children, and the emphasis within the family unit. She makes excellent points to reflect upon:

1:30 – Every family makes decisions about where to “park” personal development among their priorities.

2:15 – Most of us, professionally, live in an environment of short-term goals and urgency to accomplish/handle our responsibilities. Yet, how do we leave that mindset “in the office” and switch to a longer-term “30-year” mindset within our homes and families?

Karena, Don, and I live our lives to encourage people to invest in themselves and their families. Allocate resources and mental bandwidth to prioritize beyond the day-to-day “urgent” and “busyness” that can overwhelm us all if we are not thoughtful and judicious with our time and decisions. Develop in your world, and bring your talents to helping others.

Recent readings from The Daily Stoic Meditations by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman spoke compellingly to the need for us all to “start with ourselves.”

May 5 – “You are the Project“ stresses that “The raw material for the work of a good and excellent person is their own guiding reason…- Professionals don’t have to justify spending time training or practicing their work. It’s what they do, and practice is how they get good at it… the one constant is the working of those materials, the gradual improvements and proficiency.”

May 6 – “Righteousness Is Beautiful“ urges that the presence of human excellence makes a beautiful human being. Working diligently at human excellence needs to be an utmost priority. Quoting Epictetus:

“Then what makes a beautiful human being? Isn’t it the presence of human excellence? Young friend, if you wish to be beautiful, then work diligently at human excellence. And what is that? Observe those whom you praise without prejudice. The just or the unjust? The just. The even-tempered or the undisciplined? The even-tempered. The self-controlled or the uncontrolled? The self-controlled. In making yourself that kind of person, you will become beautiful—but to the extent you ignore these qualities, you’ll be ugly, even if you use every trick in the book to appear beautiful.”

—Epictetus, Discourses, 3.1.6b-9

Starting with ourselves and in our homes, we can build a foundation and lifestyle that enhances our ability to positively impact our world!

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In Pursuit of Inner Peace: My Stoic Transformation

Executive Summary (Assist by ChatGPT)

Bill Tomoff shares his four-year journey (2020 and continuing in 2023) practicing Stoicism, crediting the philosophy for enhancing his self-improvement and contributing to a more grounded emotional state. The philosophy’s emphasis on internal work, resilience, and focus on aspects within one’s control are key components of his daily practice. Using the book ‘The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living’ by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman, Tomoff has integrated reading a daily meditation into his routine.

Over the years, Tomoff’s engagement with Stoicism has grown, extending from the discovery of Darius Foroux’s blog post ‘Practicing Stoicism’ in 2018 to becoming a member of Daily Stoic Life (DSL) in 2021. His DSL membership offers expanded access to Stoic resources, courses, and a community support group.

Stoicism’s tenets, such as not necessarily needing an opinion, being strict with oneself and forgiving towards others, and controlling one’s responses to external events, have significantly influenced Tomoff’s perspective and daily conduct. He recognizes Stoicism as a lifelong journey, not a destination, and an important contributing aspect to personal growth and inner peace. His commitment to the philosophy extends to incorporating additional books of daily meditations into his routine, highlighting his quest for continual self-improvement through reflective practice.

Full Blog Post

I have written about my interest in Stoicism and how my “work” with the Stoic philosophy has helped me grow into a better human capable of contributing to my world. I focus on awareness of topics while realizing one never becomes a “stoic.” Striving to embrace stoic thoughts and encouragement is a life’s work with no finish line – except when our time on earth has ended.

Stoicism may seem difficult because it asks [demands] of us that we do the work of improving ourselves. The work starts with a willingness to examine what is circling in the core being. Are we interested in being the best version of ourselves and letting external matters “be”? We must clear our minds of needing opinions and judgment about people and matters beyond our control. We only control our reasoned choice.

I am in my fourth year of reading The Daily Stoic: 366 Mediations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

Starting on January 1, 2020, I began reading the daily meditation as part of my morning reading routine. For the year 2020, I completed the Daily Stoic Journal: 366 Days of Writing and Reflection on The Art of Living. The book provided a prompt with space for a morning and evening reflection daily. I took this journey with my older brother, Alex. I found the process rewarding, and I believe it has brought me greater clarity about my thinking and helped me keep my emotions more “grounded.“

My December 31, 2020, reflection journaling read:

Prompt:

How will I turn these words into works?

Morning Reflection:

“In addition to The Daily Stoic readings and reflections, I believe I am also “doing the work” of being a good person. My number one priority to work on – is kindness, helping others, and continually working to improve my strengths while being forgiving of my weaknesses.”

Evening Reflection:

“Thankful and grateful. My “word of the year” for 2020 is Mahalo – from our family trip to Hawaii in December 2019. This year, “kindness” is my word for 2021. I will continue to put stoic words into works by setting an example and putting good into the world through kindness, encouragement, and celebrating others. 2021 – let’s do this. Treasure each day…”

Bill Tomoff with The Daily Stoic Meditations

The full year of reading and journaling twice daily profoundly impacted my perspective and how I bring my mind and actions to the world daily. Reading, absorbing, and reflecting on Stoicism is an important part of my daily practice. The work is difficult at times, yet also deeply inspiring. I am learning to sit with the discomfort – I will never fully “get there” (check out the concepts of Amor Fati and Momento Mori). Stoicism is a lifelong journey, not a destination to be reached. Awareness and a willingness to contemplate the work are huge steps to self-improvement and inner peace.

My interest and time commitment gradually grew after becoming curious about Stoicism through a December 2018 blog post by Darius Foroux – Practicing Stoicism.

Before my morning reading of The Daily Stoic Meditations on January 1, 2020, I had done more research about Stoicism and discovered the work of Ryan Holiday. From Darius’s post in 2018, my love of Stoicism has evolved as follows:

  1. Early 2019 – read Darius Foroux’s blog post Practicing Stoicism.
  2. August 2019 – read The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.
  3. 2019 – signed up for the free (Monday through Friday) Daily Stoic daily email from Ryan Holiday.
  4. Full Year 2020 – read The Daily Stoic one meditation for each day and completed the companion journal reflections twice per day.
  5. January 1, 2021 – purchased annual Daily Stoic Life (DSL) membership. The first-year membership was $249, and renewals are $99 yearly. The membership includes access to a members-only Facebook group, daily emails extended to Saturday and Sunday each week, and unrestricted access to all Daily Stoic challenges and courses.
  6. Full Year 2021 – read The Daily Stoic one meditation for each day. My 2nd year of reading the entire book with one meditation per day.
  7. July 2021 – read The Little Book of Stoicism by Jonas Salzbeber. I loved this book for the nice overview provided about Stoicism!
  8. January 1, 2022 – renewed annual membership in DSL.
  9. Full Year 2022 – read The Daily Stoic one meditation for each day. My 3rd year of reading the entire book with one meditation per day.
  10. January 1, 2023 – renewed annual membership in DSL.
  11. Full Year 2023 (in the process) – read The Daily Stoic one meditation daily. My 4th year of reading the entire book with one meditation per day.

The Stoicism philosophy profoundly influences my perspective and “how” I handle myself and my emotions daily. Striving every day to develop my mind and embrace the only aspect of life we all control – our reasoned choice. Thoughts such as “it is not necessary to have an opinion, we should be strict with ourselves and forgiving of others (no judgment), and we control our response to any external event – we are harmed only if we believe we are harmed,” are thoughts I hold close to my heart and work to live in practice. Through my morning practice of reading The Daily Stoic, I have grown to love the short dose of daily meditation, to the point that I have adopted other books of daily meditations into my morning reading practice!