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Embrace Boring: Consistency and Unnoticed Discipline are the Keys to Compounding Growth

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

What is truly important to me is putting in the daily effort to refine my talents and develop my skills. The key to superior performance is quiet, steady dedication practiced for the long term when no one is watching.

I’ve learned many valuable life lessons through competitive sports participation. I credit competitive distance running with developing my willingness and ability to take the long view. My twin brother Don and I are obsessed with personal development and continual learning. We’ve pushed each other to invest time and money into our growth.

When my son Ryan was diagnosed with childhood cancer in 1996, my ability to tenaciously focus on core priorities was tested beyond imagination. My wife Terri’s memoir tells our family’s story of this challenging journey.

Over the years, I’ve pursued initiatives that exemplify my commitment to consistent effort and self-improvement. These include a daily planking streak with Don that has lasted 2,277 days so far, cofounding our #TwinzTalk initiative to share personal development tips, and dedicating myself to writing during the pandemic, completing four unpublished memoirs since June 2020.

I believe that to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world. Dedicate yourself to improving and helping others through small, consistent efforts practiced long-term. Find a tribe to encourage and inspire you on the journey. With commitment and belief, the compounding impact of your focused dedication will amaze you. 

What matters most to you? Whatever it is, pursue it relentlessly, for that is the path to growth and fulfillment.

Full Original Writing

What is important to you? Is it important enough that you are willing to work on refining your talents and developing your skills every day? Every day, in incremental effort, where progress is not felt or noticed? Yet, the key to superior performance is the daily dedication performed quietly for the long term, done in the quiet of your life when no one is watching.

The best hack is to realize that there are no shortcuts to success and commit yourself to the steady drip, drip, drip effort to enable you to reach your best level of preparation. The process is a life-long adventure.

I believe that competitive sports participation teaches many lessons that carry forward into the game of life. I wrote about this in my April 2024 blog post titled “From Setback to Comeback: My High School Running Adversity to Overcoming and Growing for Life.”

The following Daily Stoic and Seth Godin blog posts resonated with me, and I hope you find them inspiring as well.

The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman meditation for June 8, “Brick by Boring Brick.”

“You must build up your life action by action and be content if each one achieves its goal as far as possible—and no one can keep you from this.”

–Marcus Aurelius

“If you follow The Process in your life—assembling the right actions in the right order, one right after another—you too will do well. Not only that, you will be better equipped to make quick work of the obstacles along that path.”

Seth Godin’s June 16, 2018, blog post, “The danger of not good enough,” reminds us that it is a trap to dismiss others or ourselves as “not good enough.” The more accurate sentiment should be “not good enough yet.” Seth’s closing sentence is a thought we should hold onto:

“It’s true that you’re not good enough yet. None of us are. But if you commit to trying hard enough and long enough, you’ll get better.”

If you commit to trying hard enough and long enough, you’ll get better. If you are committed to the deliberate and steady process of investing in yourself, you will progress.

“Today, I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow, I can do what others can’t.”

–Jerry Rice

“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”

–Tim Notke

With a willingness to work hard (and smarter), you WILL exceed many more talented peers. You control your willingness to prepare. In matters of importance to you, be relentless in your dedication and daily focus.

The greatest attribute I have been blessed with and embraced throughout my adult life is a willingness to put forth consistent effort that is matched by few. My twin Don and I share this attribute and have pushed each other throughout our lives. Above, I mentioned competitive distance running as a prime contributor to developing my willingness and ability to take the long view throughout my life. Examples of deliberate focus and effort, as a lifestyle of investing in myself, include:

  • After graduating from college in 1981, I inherently knew that continual learning and development were imperative to my career and life success. Don and I have shared an obsession with personal development. We believe in investing personal time and money into learning. When portable computers were first available, I remember spending weekend nights in the office (Coopers & Lybrand public accounting in the early 1980s) tinkering around with VisiCalc spreadsheet software. This moment started a love of technology that Don and I have shared and leveraged throughout our lives. In our early to mid-twenties, we were alone in the office on a Saturday night while many of our peers indulged in more ordinary entertainment choices. With our dedication to competitive distance running (a serious endeavor until age 25) and professional personal development, we were comfortable on the less traveled road!
  • My dedication and preparation to find a better way to work became a career and life survival imperative when my son Ryan was diagnosed with childhood cancer on October 17, 1996, at the age of two years and two months. My ability to tenaciously focus on my core priorities was tested beyond anything I could have imagined. Terri Tomoff’s memoir The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey: From Mayhem to Miracles, published in March 2021, tells Ryan and our family’s story.
July 2021 – The Focused Fight – Cleveland Reception
  • On March 25, 2018, Don and I started a 30-day planking challenge. What started as a unique challenge to help our physical conditioning has become a part of our lifestyle. As of June 18, 2024, we have done a daily plank for 2,277 days. On March 26, 2023, I wrote a blog post celebrating five years of continuous planking!
April 2018 – NYC Central Park Planking
  • On April 16, 2018, Don and I cofounded our #TwinzTalk initiative, where we share personal development encouragement and tips to help others in our network. Tip One was dedicated to highlighting our amazing friend, Rich Flanagan. Since then, we have shared almost 1,300 tips on LinkedIn, and we receive great joy and fulfillment from sharing our knowledge and expertise to help others.
  • On June 8, 2020, a few months after the COVID-19 Pandemic started spreading across the United States, Terri and I joined an online writing initiative called Writing in Community. While Terri dedicated her time to completing her memoir, The Focused Fight, I pursued writing my unpublished personal memoir, “Living Life…Off The Track.” I have now written four unpublished memoirs. Four years later, we consider ourselves writers and have met many inspiring, kind, and generous people who share the love of writing and being in a community of practice. On the other side of the pandemic, we believe our lives have been profoundly enhanced through our writing efforts and community relationships!
2024-03-13 – Bill Tomoff with Four Memoirs Written

“If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world.”

–Elaine S. Dalton

What is important to you? Dedicate daily effort to improving yourself and then helping others. You will be amazed at the compounding impact of small efforts consistently performed over the long term. Find your tribe that will inspire and encourage you. You got this. Believe. 

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Unlocking the Secret to Contentment: The Foundational Role of Gratitude

Summary – Collaboration with ChatGPT

While reflecting and working on this post, I decided to collaborate with ChatGPT and ask for input on my assessment of the extreme potential that gratitude can bring to our lives. My prompt and [edited] response received were as follows:

Prompt:

I am writing a blog post about gratitude. The opening sentence is, “A lens of gratitude changes everything.”

I believe having a gratitude mindset is the foundational base for living a life of contentment and happiness. If we are grateful, we live life with a “gentler” outlook on life, and thus, we lean toward kindness to ourselves and interactions with others. This creates a rippling cycle of positivity that can change our life experience.

You are an expert psychologist. Would you agree with my assessment?

Response:

Bill T note: ChatGPT agreed with my assessment, and I asked for further insight and suggestions. The edited result is below.

A lens of gratitude changes everything.

I believe having a gratitude mindset is the foundational base for living a life of contentment and happiness. If we are grateful, we live life with a “gentler” outlook on life, and thus, we lean toward kindness to ourselves and interactions with others. This creates a rippling cycle of positivity that can change our life experience.

The Science of Gratitude

Research in positive psychology has consistently shown that practicing gratitude can significantly enhance well-being and satisfaction with life. Grateful individuals often experience positive emotions, relish good experiences, and enjoy better health and relationships. Gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have, fostering a sense of abundance and reducing stress and anxiety.

A Gentler Outlook

Gratitude encourages a gentler outlook by promoting self-compassion and acceptance. When we acknowledge and appreciate the good in our lives, we become more forgiving and understanding of our own imperfections and those of others. This gentleness nurtures our mental health and creates a foundation for lasting happiness.

Kindness and Positivity

Gratitude also inspires kindness. When we feel grateful, we are more likely to engage in prosocial behaviors, such as helping others and expressing appreciation. These acts of kindness benefit those around us and enhance our sense of joy and fulfillment. This creates a positive feedback loop: gratitude leads to kindness and reinforces gratitude, amplifying the benefits for everyone involved.

The Ripple Effect

The impact of gratitude extends beyond individual experiences. Positive emotions and behaviors can spread through our social networks, influencing friends, family, and strangers. This ripple effect creates an environment of collective well-being where gratitude can inspire widespread positivity and connection.

Practical Ways to Cultivate Gratitude

  1. Daily Reflection: Take a few moments each day to reflect on what you are grateful for. This can be done through journaling or simply pausing to appreciate the good things in your life.
  2. Express Appreciation: Make it a habit to express gratitude to others. A simple thank you, or a heartfelt note can go a long way in strengthening relationships and spreading positivity.
  3. Mindfulness Practice: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. Mindfulness helps us stay present and aware, making it easier to notice and appreciate the small joys in life.
  4. Gratitude Rituals: Establish rituals that remind you to practice gratitude. This could be a gratitude jar where you write down things you’re thankful for or a gratitude walk where you focus on the beauty around you.

Encouragement

Embracing gratitude is a powerful choice that can transform your life. By fostering a mindset of appreciation, you cultivate a deeper sense of contentment and happiness. Remember, the journey of gratitude is ongoing, and every small step you take contributes to a more positive and fulfilling life. Start today, and watch as gratitude changes everything.

Full Original Writing

A lens of gratitude changes everything.

An aspect of my daily journaling includes prioritizing five minutes to reflect on my day and handwrite on an index card [at least] one comment in each of these areas:

  1. Win
  2. Gratitude
  3. Stress/Tension
  4. Help Others/Shine the Light
  5. Activity/Development

The process has helped me be more intentional and aware of how I conduct myself throughout the day. Here, I will reference five articles that have inspired me to encourage more gratitude.

In each article, thoughts resonated that remind me to strive to be gentler with myself and others and grateful for the gifts in my life. Throughout our days, we have many opportunities to “flip the perspective” and be grateful vs. frustrated or inconvenienced. Here are a few examples that we all can relate to:

  1. Moving along slowly in traffic other drivers take shortcuts and merge into the line you are waiting in. Remind yourself, “I am safely moving toward my destination and am helping others by allowing cars to merge into the line. I am grateful for a dependable car and the opportunity to help others, and I am confident others would give me the same kindness.“
  2. Waiting in a long line at the grocery store. Reflect, “I am grateful that my family has the resources to purchase the food we need and the systems in place that make it possible for us to have the incredible convenience of a grocery store where we have access to an abundance of food choices when many people in the world do not have this blessing.“
  3. Embrace the opportunity to contribute through simple micro-move actions such as picking up trash or safely returning a stray shopping cart to a corral. Consider, “I can help ease a path for others.
  4. When we think outside our individual needs and turn our focus toward others, gratitude for our ability to help is enhanced. When we help, the lens through which we view life evolves us into a gentler and kinder presence. We are simply more pleasant to be around.

I encourage you to read the full articles linked here and watch the YouTube video by Rajesh Setty. Below are a few excerpts that will inspire you to read further.

Bruce Kasanoff, in “Help This Person,” encourages us every time we encounter another person to think: help this person. Bruce notes:

“Nothing else can so quickly supercharge your career and improve the quality of your life. And, yes, being genuinely helpful is the most substantive “self-promotion” possible.”

“By first thinking help this person, you will change the ways that others perceive you. There is no faster or more effective way to change your interactions and relationships. You will be viewed as a positive, constructive, helpful, and dependable person. People will think you are more perceptive, attentive, and understanding.”

Be considerate and appreciative of everyone you encounter. When we lift the spirits of others, a potential ripple effect can occur, and we feel good as well!

The following post by Dave Kerpen inspired this reflection about gratitude. Linda Misencik, a longtime friend (married to “the best dentist in the country” until he retired in 2018), read this post and sent it to me. Speaking of gratitude, I am thrilled Linda thought to send the article to me!

In Dave’s post, “Gratitude is the Opposite of Entitlement,” he notes:

“When we are entitled, we think the world needs to go our way ‘just because’. When we are grateful, on the other hand, we appreciate the world around us no matter what, ‘just because’. I am grateful for so many things every day.”

This observation is incredible. When we believe events must go the way we want, that is an attitude of entitlement. Rather, understand that we don’t control external events. We control the reasoned choice of our mind (a critical aspect of Stoicism) and our response. When we embrace this understanding and are grateful for what we have, we move away from the perspective of entitlement.

The third and fourth posts to share are from Ryan Holiday‘s The Daily Stoic. I am a fan of Stoicism and look forward to the daily email (Monday through Friday) distribution. The two recent posts I encourage you to read:

“It Says Everything About You.” A few highlights that resonated:

“How we treat the little guy says a lot about us. How we treat the gate agent at the airline. How we treat the customer service representative. How we treat the waiter and the barista. This says a lot about us. Even when, perhaps especially when, they aren’t treating us well. Can we control our emotions? Can we contain our frustration? Can we remember that they are almost certainly having a hard time too? That no amount of yelling at someone making an hourly wage will make a plane appear or fix a stupid corporate policy?

We all have bad days…which means other people have bad days, too. We should strive to be patient. We should strive to understand.”

“We All Carry A Debt.“

“There is also a debt that we have to pay back. Our ancestors are not all Union men. We live on stolen land. Our museums are filled with looted goods. Our progress came at great expense to the environment and to other species. Who made that device you’re holding? Who made that T-shirt you’re wearing?”

“Our ancestors were wonderful and they were terrible. We, their descendants all over the world, are indebted to them for both. We have to pay forward the good they did. We have to make right the wrongs they did. We don’t control what they did—to borrow from the dichotomy of control at the center of Stoicism—but we control what we do now, here in our own times. Doing better is up to us. This is what the virtue of justice demands. It’s what decency and duty demands of us.”

Two additional posts to share are a blog from Seth Godin and a YouTube video from Rajesh Setty:

“What Does The World Owe Us?” Seth notes this question comes from a perspective of entitlement. He encourages us to turn this question around and ask ourselves, “What do I owe the world?“

“On the other hand, “what do I owe the world?” opens the door for endless opportunity. When lots of people ask this question, the contributions add up, the connections are solidified and better is possible.

The best part is that waiting for the world to get things just right is exhausting and frustrating, while taking responsibility for what we might be able to contribute or lead can be energizing and fun.”

Finally, I highly recommend watching this YouTube video from Rajesh Setty, Growing and Changing the World One Thank You at a Time.

A regular practice of gratitude will change your perspective on life. We can all participate in making our world a better place. Micro-moves of intentionally contributing to others and our world at large can make a difference in ways unimagined. Just believe. One person, one action at a time, matters.

Be the Light of the World – Kindness
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Be the Bigger Person: How Responding with Kindness Can Change Your Life

Summary – Collaboration with Claude AI

In this blog post, I reflect on the importance of being the bigger person when faced with perceived insults or mistreatment from others. Inspired by Ryan Holiday’s The Daily Dad meditation “Teach Them To Be Bigger,” I share the story of Jim Lawson, a young African American boy who, after being called a racial slur, was reminded by his mother that he was loved, intelligent, and destined for a good life. This lesson helped him realize that he was above the horrible things others said and did and that responding with kindness and love was what mattered most.

We all must embrace this lesson, and awareness of our emotions and pausing before responding can be tremendously advantageous. My personal journey, aided by my daily reading of Stoicism since January 1, 2020, has helped me in my quest for inner peace and to avoid allowing everyday inconveniences to stir me negatively.

I also reflect on the idea that we will encounter difficult people throughout life, but our control lies in our attitude and response. We should gladly accept the “taxes” of life, be grateful for what we have, and not retaliate when faced with challenges. Instead, be kind, keep moving forward, and set an example for others to be bigger, creating a gentler and kinder world.

Full Original Writing

When faced with an insult or mistreatment from another person, do you instinctively react in a similar manner, potentially escalating the situation? Or do you take a moment to reflect and choose a more measured response?

This blog post was inspired by my morning reading of the May 19 meditation of The Daily Dad: 366 Meditations on Parenting, Love, and Raising Great Kids. The meditation is titled “Teach Them To Be Bigger.“ I could locate Ryan Holiday’s blog post on this meditation he published before the book was released. Please read the full post, but here are a few parts that resonated [Bold emphasis is mine]:

“A ten-year-old Jim Lawson was walking down the street when, as he passed a car, a small child looked at him and called him the n-word. Stunned by the hate and the meanness of it, Lawson reached into the car and slapped the boy in the face.

When his mother found out about this, she was understandably worried. In the then-segregated and racist South, the actions of a young black boy could so easily lead to something terrible and tragic at the hands of awful and unaccountable adults. But more than that, she wanted her son not to be defined or changed by the hate of the world around him.

“What good did that do, Jimmy?” his mother asked him. “We all love you, Jimmy and God loves you,” his mother explained, “and we all believe in you and how good and intelligent you are. We have a good life and you are going to have a good life. With all that love, what harm does that stupid insult do? It’s nothing, Jimmy, it’s empty. Just ignorant words from an ignorant child who is gone from your life the moment it was said.””

“It helped him realize that he was above the horrible things that other people said and did, what mattered, as the Stoics would also say, was what he said and did. What mattered was responding with kindness and love. What mattered was knowing that he was good and that he was loved and nothing anyone else thought could change that.

Lawson’s parents gave him the gift of teaching him–after that understandable lapse–that he was bigger than the small people who lived around him. That he could be the bigger person and do bigger things.“

The encouragement is “Be the bigger person.” Do not allow an external situation to provoke you into regrettable behavior harmful to improving a situation. Though Ryan Holiday writes in The Daily Dad about teaching this to our children, the lesson is one we all must embrace intentionally and heed to the best of our abilities. Awareness of our emotions and pausing before responding will provide a tremendous advantage.

My personal journey is a lifetime work in progress, yet my reading of Stoicism (daily since January 1, 2020) has changed me profoundly, and for that, I am grateful. I find that my inner peace has improved, and I am fairly consistent at not allowing the inevitable inconveniences of everyday life to stir me negatively.

Along with the theme of responding to difficult situations, below are additional thoughts that I reflect upon often and inspire me to strive to bring my best calmness and patience to those difficult situations.

Throughout life, we will encounter people who are different from us and will not or may not behave as we would hope. Our control is in our attitude and response. Viktor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, expressed:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lie our growth and our freedom.”

In the Daily Stoic blog, Ryan Holiday encourages us in The Taxes of Life that everything we do has a toll attached to it:

“Taxes are an inevitable part of life. There is a cost to everything we do. As Seneca wrote to Lucilius, “All the things which cause complaint or dread are like the taxes of life—things from which, my dear Lucilius, you should never hope for exemption or seek escape.” Income taxes are not the only taxes you pay in life. They are just the financial form. Everything we do has a toll attached to it. Waiting around is a tax on traveling. Rumors and gossip are the taxes that come from acquiring a public persona. Disagreements and occasional frustration are taxes placed on even the happiest of relationships. Theft is a tax on abundance and having things that other people want. Stress and problems are tariffs that come attached to success. And on and on and on.

There’s no reason or time to be angry about any of this. Instead, we should be grateful. Because taxes—literal or figurative—are impossible without wealth. So, what are you going to focus on? That you owe something or that you are lucky enough to own something that can be taxed.”

Accept and gladly pay your taxes for the life you are blessed with.

When we encounter the inevitable “taxes” of difficult people, let’s not hurt ourselves by responding in kind or retaliating. Rather, we should be kind and move forward in our own way—no need to get even no need to have an escalation. Keep moving forward and bring goodness into the world. This helps us the best, and it may help the other person.

I don’t need to “prove my point” or be right. When at all possible (and it is possible a high percentage of the time), my handling of difficult people will be gentle and kind as I quickly move to separate from the situation.

We are not required to pass judgment and have an opinion. You don’t have to get upset. How about giving the benefit of the doubt and calmly thinking internally, “This moment is not about me. This person is doing the best that they can.” Even if I might be incorrect, the perspective serves me well and increases the likelihood of no further negative emotions and diffusion of an unfavorable situation.

Be bigger, and by example, lead others to be bigger. Wouldn’t that make our world a gentler and kinder place?

Nice Guys Finish First | Gary Vaynerchuk
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Ordinary Beauty, Extraordinary Wisdom: How Slowing Down and Paying Attention Can Enrich Your Life

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

In this blog post, I share how the writings of Wendy Coad, Seth Godin, and Rajesh Setty have inspired me to reflect on the importance of dedicating ourselves to what matters most, being intentional about how we spend our time, and slowing down the pace of life to make room for contemplation and creativity.

I discuss how my son Ryan’s cancer diagnosis in 1996 forced me to ruthlessly prioritize my time and energy. My top priorities became self-care, family, career, and managing healthcare coverage. By staying laser-focused, I and my family persevered through the immense challenges we faced. Over the past 27 years, we have emerged stronger, dedicated to personal growth and helping others.

The wisdom shared by Coad, Godin, and Setty resonated deeply with the lessons I learned through that difficult chapter. Coad’s example of honestly assessing her priorities and eliminating overcommitments, Godin’s warning about smartphones making us hurried and distracted, and Setty’s beautiful reframing of how Parkinson’s disease forced him to slow down and notice the richness of life – all of these perspectives reinforce my conviction about living more deliberately and savoring the wonder around me.

I encourage my readers to join me on this journey. Prioritize time for self-reflection, set boundaries to protect what matters most, and consciously choose to slow down. In doing so, we open ourselves to the “ordinary” beauty of life and opportunities for growth that are always available when we create the space to see them.

Full Original Writing

This post is inspired by Wendy Coad, Seth Godin, and Rajesh Setty. Thanks to their writing, I am inspired to write about the important work we should all dedicate ourselves to, prioritizing where we allocate our time, and the value of intentional effort to slow down the pace of our lives to allow time for contemplation and creativity. Slack/buffer built into our daily lives enhances the “ordinary” beauty in our lives and allows for a calmer internal state. Our days are not packed with back-to-back urgencies that allow no room for delays or unexpected occurrences.

Life will throw adversity into our path. Adversity is part of the human condition.

On October 17, 1996, my and my family’s life was turned upside down and changed forever when my son Ryan was diagnosed with childhood cancer at two years and two months old. I realized quickly that my priorities had to be narrowed, and the final list of my few critical priorities needed to be ruthlessly adhered to. My energies had to be laser-focused, and my willingness to say “NO” would become essential. I would not apologize for protecting my priorities and did not need to explain myself to anyone. I would do my best every day… with genuine intent and based on the knowledge I possessed. My, and my family’s, survival was at stake.

Writing this in May 2024, over 27 years later, I am eternally grateful that Ryan is a survivor and my family is intact and doing well. Fate has challenged us immensely, and we are standing tall today, forever changed in unimaginable ways. My wife Terri has beautified the world with her love of quilting and designing treasured t-shirt quilt keepsakes. She has written a memoir of Ryan’s experience (The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey From Mayhem to Miracles, published in March 2021). Our daughter Olivia persevered and changed our lives through her love and commitment to soccer. She is now married to her husband Bo, and they are new parents to a beautiful baby boy, Bodie, born March 25, 2024! We believe in post-traumatic growth and are dedicated to helping others and making the world kinder and gentler.

At the time of Ryan’s diagnosis in 1996, I was scared and mentally wondered, “How do families survive this?” We were all in the biggest war of our lives. There was no instruction manual, and Ryan’s life was at stake. Terri and I dedicated ourselves to doing everything humanly possible for Ryan and Olivia, and we would attack this one day at a time. I had no thought of how I would be profoundly changed over the years. I am beyond grateful and feel I am a greater contributor to the world due to my experience. I am consumed with how to grow personally and leverage my growth to be more valuable for helping others.

My highest priorities identified in 1996 were sharpened by the urgency of moving forward through Ryan’s medical treatments and the stress our family endured as a result. The nonnegotiable priorities that I determined required my complete attention were:

  • Self-care: Focus on health and personal development. I needed to do my best to be my best for my family and my career and to be of value to others.
  • Family: My role as spouse, father, and caregiver. My family is the world to me.
  • Career: Bringing the best I could to my professional responsibilities. Continual development and finding ways to work more effectively were imperative. My twin brother Don was my “right hand” in helping me think differently and holding me accountable to make progress. I endured high stress about my ability to support the family financially and provide healthcare coverage to cover the financial exposure of Ryan’s medical care requirements.
  • Monitoring Healthcare Coverage: This aspect felt like a full-time job besides my other priorities. Likely, my love of personal finance was cemented through the stress of continual concern about healthcare coverage and the risk of bankruptcy.

Living my life with the clarity of my priorities allowed me to be relentless in setting boundaries of where I would permit my time to be allocated. As Mr. Pollin once encouraged me, “Bill, you need to keep your eye on the ball, and that ball will change…” My emphasis on the differing priorities has fluxed; thankfully, the core structure has provided a framework that enhanced my quality of life. I determined what was important in my life, and while bending (dancing) within the framework, I have stayed true to my core matters of importance.

During the years since Ryan’s diagnosis, I have embraced the times when greater freedom existed in my schedule. My priorities have often maxed out my capacity, and when an opportunity for a break would occur, I was diligent about taking time to relax. I refused to move on frantically to another activity. Protecting my time and sanity was a component of self-care that was extremely important to me.

Slowing down became a mission for me. I strive for my daily pace to be more deliberate and relaxed with reduced commitments to build a buffer in my day. When I can live this way, my ability to be my best self and help others is optimized.

Recent readings that inspired me were:

Wendy Coad, in a post from my community of practice (Purple.Space), shared about her evolving priorities and the activities she has chosen to eliminate from her schedule. It was refreshing to see Wendy’s honesty with herself, recognizing she cannot do everything. Too often, we think, “I can handle this,” and add a new obligation to our list of priorities. We make the mistake of over-committing and become overwhelmed with our to-dos. The willingness to pick the highest priorities and eliminate everything else is a massive strength for anyone to possess. The impact of Ryan’s diagnosis forced me to be brutally honest with myself, and I pared down my priorities practically overnight. The core list has been my guide since that day. Giving my best for my family was my guiding north star.

Seth Godin‘s blog On One Foot, discusses how “Smart phones can hobble us.” We hurry through our lives handling things on a small phone screen in short bursts. He says, “There could be a direct correlation between smartphone usage and underinformed mass behavior.” Seth even suggests that “opening up a laptop might count as slowing down a bit.” Slow down.

Rajesh Setty‘s LinkedIn post, encourages “Slowing down to witness wonder.” Rajesh is an inspiring, caring, and generous person I have met through social media. I look forward to the wisdom he consistently shares and encourage everyone to follow him on social media! In his post, he shares that his diagnosis of Parkinson’s forced him to slow down and ultimately develop his reframe: “Slowing down allowed me to observe more than most people who are too busy to notice.” I am sharing Rajesh’s full post below and encourage pausing and asking yourself, “How can I be more intentional about slowing down?”

“Slowing down to witness wonder

We live in a fast-paced world where everyone seems too busy to notice the richness around them. By “world around us/them,” I mean nature, people, and conversations happening right in front of us, not just online.

When you pay close attention, you’ll witness wonder. The world around you speaks and whispers in vivid colors, both through nature and people.

I noticed this because of a health situation, Parkinson’s, which forced me to slow down.

Over time, instead of complaining about slowing down, I began to appreciate the world’s richness. Everything seemed to be in slow motion, not by choice but by design. Slowing down allowed me to observe more than most people who are too busy to notice.

This higher fidelity observation was a gift that came with Parkinson’s. It sparked more ideas for me than ever before. That’s why I reframed Parkinson’s to (S)Parkinson’s.

Although I discovered this because of (S)Parkinson’s, you can choose to slow down and witness the wonder in the world around you without going through something like that. In fact, I wouldn’t wish my experience on anyone. But by choosing to slow down, you can truly appreciate the beauty around you.

PS: If you are curious to know more about my ongoing adventure with (S)Parkinson’s, here is more in my book UNSHAKEN (published by INKtalks).”

Rajesh notes that we all can choose to slow down and witness wonder in our world without going through a life-threatening experience. Please take his encouragement to heart, prioritize time to be with yourself, and contemplate actionable steps to move you towards a slower lifestyle. Join me on this life-enhancing journey!

December 2019 – Tomoff Family Vacation in Maui, Hawaii
July 2021 – The Focused Fight – Cleveland Reception
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The Gentle Way Forward: Nurturing Ease and Inner Peace in a Chaotic World

Summary Overview – Collaboration with Claude.AI

In my life, I strive to treat everyone with gentleness and kindness, as I believe we never truly know the struggles others face. This mindset has been deeply shaped by my family’s experience with my son Ryan’s childhood cancer journey, during which we were uplifted by the compassion and kindness of those around us. I am committed to honoring their love and support by bringing my best self forward daily to make a positive difference in the world.

Recently, I discovered Elisabet Lahti’s book “Gentle Power,” which resonates deeply with my belief in the underappreciated strength of gentleness. The book highlights the Finnish concept of “sisu,” which combines determination and inner fortitude with wisdom and heart. Lahti challenges the notion that gentleness is a weakness, presenting it as a powerful tool for leadership, empowerment, and personal growth.

As I read the book, I was struck by the transformative potential of embracing gentleness in all aspects of life. By responding with kindness and understanding, we can inspire others to do the same, creating a ripple effect of positivity. While gentleness may not always be the easiest path, I am convinced that it is the most rewarding one in the long run. I am excited to continue exploring the concept of gentle power and to incorporate its teachings into my daily life as I work to create a more compassionate and nurturing world around me.

Full Original Writing

“Be gentle. Be kind – you never know what someone is going through.”

Bill Tomoff, signing The Focused Fight

The quote above is one I use when autographing Terri Tomoff’s memoir, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey From Mayhem to Miracles, which is my guiding inspiration as I go through my daily life. A casual observer in my life has no idea what I and my family have endured through the years since my son Ryan’s childhood cancer diagnosis in 1996. I firmly believe everyone we encounter has a “story” and challenges we know nothing about. Embracing this mindset, I strive to extend gentleness and kindness in my countless daily interactions and pray that maybe I make a small difference that may lift the spirits of a fellow human being.

Thanks to a recent book discussion on Zoom with Emma Seppala about her book Sovereign, moderated by Emilia Elisabet Lahti, PhD, I discovered another inspiring book written by Elisabet, titled Gentle Power: A Revolution in How We Think, Lead, and Succeed Using the Finnish Art of Sisu.

“Sisu is a Finnish word for determination and inner fortitude in the face of extreme adversity. Gentle power is to apply sisu with wisdom and heart.”

–Elisabet Lahti, PhD, website

After I had completed Emma Seppala’s book, I was excited to follow her recommendation and start Elisabet’s book! As I write this, I am about one-third of the way through, yet I have noted that the content resonates deeply with my intention to live my days through gentleness and kindness. My dedication has been shaped by our family’s experience with family, friends, and strangers, who have selflessly brought compassion, gentleness, and kindness to our family during the difficult (seemingly impossible) days of Ryan’s cancer treatments. I am living my days in honor of those who have been at our side with unconditional love and concern – developing and bringing my best self forward to make a difference through how I present myself to the world.

Deep within my soul, I believe that gentleness and kindness are strengths vastly underappreciated. I am inspired to see the supporting research that Elisabet shares in her book! I will gladly take “the road less traveled.” Through my actions, I will encourage others and create a ripple of positivity in my world.

Below, I share a few excerpts from the book that resonate with me. I feel like the best is yet to come.

“What would you have? Your gentleness shall force more than your force move us to gentleness.”

-Shakespeare
Shakespeare quote gentleness vs force

Collaborating with ChatGPT, here is a further explanation of the quote’s meaning [Bold emphasis is mine]:

“This quote from William Shakespeare speaks to the power of gentleness over force in influencing others’ behavior. The suggestion is that gentleness and a soft approach can compel others to respond with the same kindness and softness, perhaps even more effectively than using force or aggression.

The underlying idea is that our emotions and behaviors can often inspire similar responses in those around us. One might inspire others to adopt a similar demeanor by choosing gentleness, creating a more harmonious interaction. This reflects a psychological concept known as “emotional contagion,” where people tend to “catch” the emotions of others around them. Thus, gentleness begets gentleness, proving itself a more potent tool for shaping the attitudes and actions of others than harshness or coercion.“

I am not naively suggesting that gentleness and kindness will always “win the moment.” Yet, coming from a genuine place of gentleness and kindness improves the possibility of preventing a contentious or challenging moment from escalating. It can improve the likelihood of a favorable resolution. In the long run, a lifestyle that strives to live with gentleness and kindness WILL be rewarding personally and for all involved. Using force may win the moment but most certainly degrades long-term relationships and effectiveness. If “winning” requires force, this is not how I want to live my life.

Further, regarding gentleness, Elisabet shares in her book about “Mistaking Gentleness for Weakness:”

“Most of us have been told a terrible lie our whole lives that anything soft, gentle, and supple (and feminine) is somehow inherently weak, unreliable, or of lesser value. This lie has caused untold suffering and has led to innumerable harmful decisions in politics and private organizations. For far too long, our culture has been overly infatuated with winning, competing, and making a profit, while gentleness and cooperation has been labeled inferior or fragile.

French philosopher André Comte-Sponville says that gentleness is “courage without violence, strength without harshness, love without anger” and also that “gentleness is gentleness only as long it owes nothing to fear.” 3 Our inability to assert boundaries, our struggles to lead people, and our reluctance to express opinions because we fear rejection is not gentleness but meekness. Gentleness is not about being passive or always accommodating others. Gentleness is a way of moving forward with a kind of dynamic grace. It’s about knowing when to push and when to pull back. It’s about succeeding not through force, but through empowerment.

Far too many of us have been dealing with an out-of-whack nervous system for years. We’ve been hardwired to overreact, overextend, and overwork. Adopting the gentle power style of encountering the world and moving through it isn’t so much about learning something new, but about unlearning these unhealthy ways of living. Gentle power is about finding accomplishment through nurturing a spirit of ease toward ourselves and others instead of achievement (no matter how glorious in the moment) and striving at the long-term cost of inner peace.

Comte-Sponville further describes gentleness as “a kind of peace, either real or desired . . . it can be pierced by anguish and suffering or brightened by joy and gratitude, but it is always devoid of hatred, harshness, and insensitivity.” Imagine if our experiences in leadership, social activism, politics, and families were devoid of harshness, force, and insensitivity. Imagine a relationship with yourself that’s completely free from judgment and blame. Socially, we’re told that this sort of treatment toward ourselves and others is soft and weak when it’s actually empowering, constructive, and energizing.”

Let’s ask ourselves daily, how can I present myself more gently and kindly to the world? I am excited to read more about Elisabet’s work on Gentle Power, inspired by hope and inspiration after reading the first one-third of the book!

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What You Do Matters: Embracing the Power of Individual Impact

When reading About The Author at the end of Emma Seppala’s book Sovereign, I noted:

“A psychologist and research scientist by training, Seppälä’s expertise is the science of happiness, emotional intelligence, and social connection. Her research has been published in top academic journals and featured in news outlets including The New York Times, NPR, and CBS News and featured in documentaries like Free the Mind, The Altruism Revolution, What You Do Matters [Bill T emphasis], and Bullied. www.emmaseppala.com and www.iamsov.com”

The documentary title, What You Do Matters, caught my attention. What we think and what we do are important. Think and do good. Be kind. Our actions and the presence we bring to the world matter.

In my approach to my career and my family, I have long embraced the core belief that what I do matters. Every action matters. Two quotes that guide me:

When Terri wrote her memoir, The Focused Fight: A Childhood Cancer Journey From Mayhem to Miracles, her inspiration and goal for our family was stated:

“Helping one person, one family, at a time.”

The personal development and professional work I do with my twin Don (follow hashtag #TwinzTalk on LinkedIn!) is stated:

“Changing the world, one interaction, one person, at a time.”

I am not looking to impact the masses. Still, I am dedicated to making the most of individual IRL, virtual, and social media interactions, and bringing a presence to the world that may influence and reach folks I likely will never know about. The truth is we often don’t know the reach and impact that kindness and generosity toward helping others will have. I genuinely intend to help my world through micro-moments of living my life through caring and doing the “right thing.“

A favorite Daily Stoic blog post I share often is “You Do Not Need This.” Note:

“You want it, don’t you?

That “I told you so.” That “Thank You.” That recognition for being first, or being better, or being different. You want credit. You want gratitude. You want the acknowledgment for the good you’ve done, for the weight that you carry.

What you want is what Marcus Aurelius has called “the third thing,” because you’re not content enough with the doing. “When you’ve done well and another has benefited by it,” he writes, “why like a fool do you look for a third thing on top—credit for the good deed or a favor in return?””

“You don’t need a favor back. You don’t need to be repaid. You don’t need to be acknowledged. You don’t need the third thing. That’s not why you do what you do. You’re good because it’s good to be good, and that’s all you need.”

Too often, it is natural to wonder, “Am I making a difference?” I have let go of the need to have affirmation of my actions. I choose instead to KNOW that What I Do Matters. Thus, the video referenced in the book resonated with me. I have provided the link below and encourage everyone to prioritize the hour of time to watch the documentary. Inspiration guaranteed! I hope you will feel compelled to embrace approaching the world and others with a kinder and gentler presence. You will influence others, and over time, you will be profoundly changed for the better!

Emma Seppala emphasizes throughout her book the importance of awareness of our thoughts and the impact that can have in keeping us from reaching sovereignty. The good news is that we can take control of our minds, prioritize our self-care, and bring our best selves to others and the world daily. Our thoughts build our actions and what we do. Consider, and hold close, this quote from Lao Tzu:

“Watch your thoughts; they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

The Chicago Community Trust Documentary | What You Do Matters
Credit: The Chicago Community Trust Documentary | What You Do Matters
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Nils and Jonas Salzgeber | Part 3 of 3: Benjamin Franklin’s 13 Virtues and Biography

The next Nils and Jonas blog post that resonated with me was Become a Better Person: Adopt Benjamin Franklin’s 13 Virtues.

Ben Franklin’s 13 virtues are timeless and worth reflecting upon often. Walter Isaacson discussed the virtues (pages 89 to 92) in his biography, Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, which I have read twice in the past ten years. I highly recommend the book! A 23-minute summary is available on YouTube.

The 13 virtues discussed in the blog are worth keeping and referring to for an expanded discussion of each virtue. Nils and Jonas describe the virtues as key to Franklin’s success: “The key to his success was his continuous pursuit of self-improvement.” The 13 virtues are:

  1. Temperance: Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
  2. Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
  3. Order: Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
  4. Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
  5. Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
  6. Industry: Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
  7. Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
  8. Justice: Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
  9. Moderation: Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
  10. Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
  11. Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
  12. Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.
  13. Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

About Franklin’s efforts at living the thirteen virtues, Isaacson notes in his book:

“Mastering all of these thirteen virtues at once was “a task of more difficulty than I had imagined,” Franklin recalled. The problem was that “while my care was employed in guarding against one fault, I was often surprised by another.” So he decided to tackle them like a person who, “having a garden to weed, does not attempt to eradicate all the bad herbs at once, which would exceed his reach and his strength, but works on one of the beds at a time.””

Hopefully, the three books discussed in this three-part blog post will inspire you to pursue your quest for personal development. Show up every day and dedicate time to yourself and your own growth. The Twinz are cheering you on!

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Nils and Jonas Salzgeber | Part 2 of 3: Coach John Wooden

The Salzgeber brothers’ focus on personal development resonates with Don and me. Taking the initiative for personal growth and committing to continual learning is our north star, and we strive to help others and bring them along on the adventure. Bringing our best selves to the world is critically important work that we must embrace and not leave to the judgment of others.

Since reading (and sharing often)The Little Book of Stoicism, I now receive their email newsletter and periodically review the blog posts (as I write this in April 2024, I note the last blog post was in November 2022) on their website. I discovered two blog posts that resonated with me, and they reminded me of two recommended books in the #TwinzTalk personal development agenda – Benjamin Franklin’s Biography by Walter Isaacson and Coach Wooden’s Leadership Game Plan for Success by John Wooden and Steve Jamison. Below, I am sharing excerpts from Nils and Jonas’s blog posts and references to the books that Don and I recommend. We hope these topics inspire you to prioritize time for your personal development!

John Wooden

As Nils and Jonas note:

“John Wooden was a legendary basketball coach at the University of California, Los Angeles. During his last 12 years as a coach there, he won 10 championships, including seven in a row, and including an 88-game winning streak.

Some people say he was the greatest basketball coach ever. Some say he was the greatest coach in the 20th century. Others say he was the greatest coach of all time. Period.

John Wooden himself would not have bothered about such titles – that’ll get clear to you after reading some of his quotes below. He was much more concerned about the process, about putting in the work, about doing everything he could to become the best he could be. He was a truly inspiring man and a role model for me personally. Here are 35 timeless life lessons we can learn from him.”

The 35 life lessons shared in the blog post are all nuggets worth reading and holding onto. We can learn much from the wisdom of John Wooden. A few of our favorites include:

  • Number 5: Politeness and Courtesy – “…being a good person isn’t necessarily something we do for other people, it’s something we do for ourselves. We don’t need to expect anything in return. We’re getting paid well enough.“

  • Number 13: Stop Looking for Shortcuts – “If you spend too much time learning the tricks of the trade, you may not learn the trade. There are no shortcuts. If you’re working on finding a short cut, the easy way, you’re not working hard enough on the fundamentals. You may get away with it for a spell, but there is no substitute for the basics. And the first basic is good, old-fashioned hard work.”

  • Number 24: Don’t Compare Yourself to Other People – “It’s simple. Don’t compare yourself to somebody else, especially materially. If I’m worrying about the other guy and what he’s doing, about what he’s making, about all the attention he’s getting, I’m not going to be able to do what I’m capable of doing. It’s a guaranteed way to make yourself miserable.”

  • Number 28: Adversity = Opportunity – “Most people have heard of post-traumatic stress disorder. But did you know that the opposite also exists? It’s called post-traumatic growth – the phenomenon of people becoming stronger after a tragedy or trauma. They don’t just bounce back, but they bounce higher than they were before.”

  • Number 29: Want Peace of Mind? – “I believe one of the big lessons of sports for dedicated individuals and teams is that it shows us how hard work, and I mean hard work, does pay dividends. The dividend is not necessarily in outscoring an opponent. The guaranteed dividend is the complete peace of mind gained in knowing you did everything within your power, physically, mentally, and emotionally, to bring forth your full potential.”

  • Number 31: Strive to Maintain Self-Control – “Complaining, whining, making excuses just keeps you out of the present. That’s where self-control comes in. Self-control keeps you in the present. Strive to maintain self-control.”

  • Number 34: Improve the Team by Improving Yourself – “If you want to change the world, start by changing yourself. For the best way to improve the world is to improve yourself. Joseph Campbell said it best, “We’re not on our journey to save the world but to save ourselves. But in doing that you save the world. The influence of a vital person vitalizes.””

John Wooden’s book on leadership, Coach Wooden’s Leadership Game Plan for Success, is an inspiring read. In addition, check out the downloadable image of Wooden’s The Pyramid of Success on the John Wooden website.

“Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.”

-John Wooden

 
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Nils and Jonas Salzgeber | Part 1 of 3: The Little Book of Stoicism

For twin Don and me, a consistent theme in our lives has been a desire to develop to the best of our abilities. In earnest, we recognized this fully during our college years…when it felt as if our career survival was at stake based on our academic performance (in the 1980s, this feeling was probably more true than today in 2024).

While not realizing it then, the love of personal development and striving to do our best was born during the college years at Ohio University. Competitive distance running on the varsity cross-country and track and field teams, balanced with the academic workload of pursuing a business degree (accounting major), consumed our focus – and we were each other’s accountability partners before we knew of such a term.

Purely self-serving during those years has evolved into personal development to bring our best self forward for our families and employers and our quest to use our talents and skills to bring out the best potential in others. My “Why” is now articulated as “Helping others is rewarding and provides me fulfillment and gratification.” Helping others is the best way to help yourself.

Thanks to the evolution of social media and communities of practice groups, the possibilities for connecting and learning with others have grown exponentially. We live in an exciting time with the potential of virtual connections and learning via technology (online courses, YouTube, etc.). With a willingness to invest in yourself, resources are abundant (often FREE).

Since 2018, I have invested time in the philosophy of Stoicism. That path has led to this post, where I now share about brothers Nils and Jonas Salzgeber. In 2021, I read Jonas’s book The Little Book of Stoicism: Timeless Wisdom to Gain Resilience, Confidence, and Calmness. I have been an avid reader of Ryan Holiday’s work at The Daily Stoic and have read The Daily Stoic book of daily meditations daily since January 1, 2020.

Like Nils and Jonas, I now view Stoicism as a core component of my personal development quest. ChatGPT describes Stoicism as follows (to explain to a high school student):

“Stoicism is a philosophy that teaches us to focus on what we can control—our own actions and attitudes—and to accept what we can’t control, like other people’s actions or life’s unexpected challenges. It encourages us to respond to life’s difficulties with calmness and resilience, striving to be our best selves by practicing virtues like wisdom, courage, and self-discipline. By focusing on our own behavior and learning to accept whatever life throws at us without getting overly emotional or upset, Stoicism helps us lead happier, more fulfilling lives.”

If you are interested in Stoicism, I highly recommend The Little Book of Stoicism. Yet, now is when the journey becomes more fun! Don and I believe personal development should be a priority for everyone. Too often, we feel in the minority and cannot understand why individuals do not relentlessly prioritize time to “sharpen the saw,” as Stephen Covey shares as one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

We discovered that Nils and Jonas are on a mission of personal mastery. Their passion for their mission is heartwarming and inspiring for the Twinz. On their website, NJLifeHacks.com, they share their encouragement (and tie in personal development to Stoicism):

“We’ve started NJlifehacks in 2016 in the hope of making a living with our passion for all things personal growth and self-development.

You see, when we hear something that promises to help us become more confident, mindful, charismatic, kind, and loving versions of ourselves, we’re all ears. We can’t help ourselves.

Some people think we’re weird or too serious or too driven, but they don’t get it – this is our passion. We love reading about the latest bio-hacks, new psychological studies, or ancient spiritual texts by Indian gurus (say about Osho what you will, but this guy had some incredible insights). Since starting the website, we’ve easily spent over $5,000 on books. You see, when others read about the latest celebrity scandal, we read about the latest breakthrough in positive psychology research. As our father would say, to each his own, right?”

“We’re letting you in on a little secret. Just don’t tell anyone, right? We have found, after being on this path to self-mastery (for lack of a better word) for a long time that the best way to get more confidence, self-trust, certainty, and all of that great stuff is through Stoicism.”

“In one sentence: NJlifehacks is a personal growth company dedicated to helping people become better versions of themselves through ancient wisdom and modern science. We do this through our blog articles, books, online courses, email newsletter, and personal coaching.”

Book Image
The Little Book of Stoicism by Jonas Salzgeber
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ChatGPT Lite Part 6 of 6 – Sample Use Cases to Inspire Your Creativity for Personal Use

This is part 6 of 6 posts introducing ChatGPT and a path forward to consider for adoption and learning growth. 

  1. Part 1 of 6 (Introduction) can be found here. 
  2. Part 2 of 6 (Description of GenAI framework and ChatGPT “fit”) can be found here. 
  3. Part 3 of 6 (Steps to Getting Started) can be found here. 
  4. Part 4 of 6 (High-Level Concepts to Understand) can be found here.
  5. Part 5 of 6 (Resources for Learning: Influencers and Online Learning courses) can be found here.

Don and I think it is important to reemphasize the mindset that whether or not you adopt GenAI and LLMs such as ChatGPT is YOUR DECISION. Studying these new tools and challenging yourself with personal use cases is a path available to everyone. You will benefit and be of greater value personally and professionally because of the knowledge attained and skills developed. Embrace a mindset of curiosity and possibility while also paying attention to the inevitable risks that arise. Learning is your secret weapon.

To stimulate your thinking, below are several use case examples that the Twinz have used. Once you have experienced the potential of immediate, ad-free feedback, we promise your creative juices will start flowing in ways ChatGPT Plus can compellingly contribute to your life.

  1. Visiting a new location? Ask ChatGPT to provide suggestions for must-see highlights. During a 2023 trip to Normandy in France, ChatGPT was my companion for questions about the D-Day invasion.
  2. Planning a vacation (i.e., My family of four is planning a trip to Walt Disney World in Florida – please suggest an itinerary for a six-day, five-night trip).
  3. Ask ChatGPT to create a QR Code.
  4. Using the Vision functionality, ask ChatGPT to explain the details of a product you have a picture of.
  5. Ask ChatGPT to adopt a specific persona and then ask a relevant question where that expertise is required. An example would be to ask for estate planning thoughts from the persona that ChatGPT is “an attorney with expertise in estate planning.”
  6. Specific questions regarding technology – such as “Please provide a brief introduction to prompt engineering and why it is important to prioritize time to understand the nuances of prompting when working with ChatGPT.”
  7. One of my favorite uses includes asking ChatGPT to summarize and, often, provide bullet-point highlights of specific writing content I created. An example is my blog post “The Art of the Epitaph: Conveying a Lifetime in Ten Words or Less.”

Once you have found your own use cases, we would love to know how ChatGPT has contributed to your life. Personal use alone will change and enhance your life experience. Wishing you the best in your adventure!

BONUS: Custom GPTs

While Don and I encourage adopting “start narrow” and experiencing specific use cases for ChatGPT Plus in your world, it is critical to understand AI is rapidly evolving with new features and possibilities. The potential to feel overwhelmed and unsure where to focus your energies is likely.  Please start, embrace ambiguity, pay attention to experts in the space, and accept that no one has all the answers to where the technology will evolve to in the future – only that it will evolve.

Within ChatGPT Plus, an exciting development announced on November 6, 2023, from OpenAI is the ability for users to create GPTs. OpenAI has created a store where users can sell GPTs. The GPT feature is not discussed in this ChatGPT Lite introduction, but if you made it this far, we are sharing the awareness of GPTs! Per the article linked below:

What are these GPTs?

“GPTs are custom versions of ChatGPT from OpenAI, its business partners, and thousands of third-party developers who created their own GPTs.

Sometimes when people encounter ChatGPT, they don’t know where to start. OpenAI calls it the “empty box problem.” Discovering that led the company to find a way to narrow down the choices, Turley said.

“People really benefit from the packaging of a use case — here’s a very specific thing that I can do with ChatGPT,” like travel planning, cooking help or an interactive, step-by-step tool to build a website, Turley said.

Think of GPTs as OpenAI trying to make the general-purpose power of ChatGPT more refined the same way smartphones have a wealth of specific tools. (And think of GPTs as OpenAI’s attempt to take control over how we find, use and pay for these apps, much like Apple has a commanding role over iPhones through its App Store.)”

ChatGPT: Here’s What It Is, How It Works and How It’s Evolving – CNET